Break Through
by Eien Blue
Summary: jan.12 Update CH26 Fake Star. Y&S,T&H, T&R. AU. Angsty get togethers. Sometimes love is stronger than reason, and things that should not be, attract eachother by a unforgibable force. Call it fate or call it... Gravitation.
1. Break Through

Many thanks to **Ember-chan** for her wonderful and speedy beta work.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/anime mentioned within this story.

**R:**for bad language, sexual situations and adult themes.Yaoi:Y/S T/H please heed rating

Do you believe in Destiny? Do you believe that somewhere out there, is someone waiting just for you?   
And no matter how diverse and how far apart your worlds are, you WILL find a way to each other.

Meet a handful of people, who were born under different stars, and how their roads intertwined and blended together to "Break Through"

Break Through

**Prologue:**

**Shuichi Shindou:** For as long as he could remember, he knew he wanted to be a Rock Star. Back then it wasn't merely a dream, it was a fact. Always dancing, singing and using everything that fell into his hands as a microphone. Writing bits and pieces of verses, he would sing them in front of the mirror. He would stand in front of it for hours to perfect his "style", wearing his mother's most colorful clothes and sunglasses to look "Glam" as was the style those days. He had no friends... he didn't need them. All he needed was the music and the burning knowledge that someday he would be on the cover of all those magazines he so vehemently read, as though his "bible"

But as he grew, he realized that it would not be as easy as he thought. You didn't go to _school_ to be a Rock Star. You didn't get up one day and decided to break through in the industry and it would happen the next. He realized that you needed a lot more than talent to make it. In school, whoever he told of his dreams, would either laugh or discourage him, saying things like "_You will never make it_" or "_You need contacts to make it in the music business_" and all sorts of negative comments. His teachers would call his parents more and more often to discuss Shindou-kun's "future." His grades were not good and his attention span lasted as long as a gold fish's. Nothing that didn't have to do with music mattered to him.

By age ten, the toll of his loneliness began to wear down on him. I wasn't that he didn't want friends; he did, but just couldn't find anyone to connect with. He tried to hang out with random people from school, but it was always the same. They were either too boring, or too childish, or simply had nothing to offer him.

It wasn't until he was twelve, when a new family moved next door, that he found the only other person who shared his dream.

**Hiroshi Nakano**: Was a rebel without a cause. He sported long locks and more often than not wore black with chains hanging all about him. He even had two piercings in his left ear. He was so cool... _too cool_. Shuichi would think every time he looked out his window at Hiro and his older brother as they worked on a motorcycle.... _Damn, I wish I had a motorcycle, or a brother with one_! Shuichi would think every single time he spied on the two siblings. Instead he was stuck with an over protective mother, an annoying younger sister and the knowledge that his dream would never come true.

To Hiro though, it was not so simple, he was lonely. If being the second son of a very conservative household was not bad enough, it was found out early in his life that he possessed a higher IQ than most, therefore a lot more was expected of him. He envied the easygoing life of his older brother; he was allowed to do as he wished, come and go at will, and since _he_ would not be the one bringing honor to the "Nakano" name, next to nothing was expected of him.

With no friends, Hiro tried desperately to fit in, to make a normal life for himself.

By age ten he started wearing all black and buying "_inappropriate_" magazines... they were only music mags, but to his parents they were the devil incarnate. They tried everything to make him stop "acting up" and the more they did, the more Hiro would feel as if they didn't care for _him, _rather, the pride he could bring to the family name.

By age twelve he got his first piercing; his mother fainted as soon as she saw it and his father didn't speak to him for weeks. Not too long after that the family decided to move away, to leave all the bad influences behind. Hiroshi and his brother were devastated, but there was no convincing their parents otherwise. Hiro even went so far as to take out his earrings and dress conservatively, but it didn't work.

As the truck pulled up to their new home, Hiro felt that everything he'd worked so hard to achieve had not meant a thing. Then as he got out of the truck and spied the shy looking little boy next door, looking from an upstairs window, Hiro somehow knew that everything would be all right.

"Goddamn... I can't believe he killed him!" Shu exclaimed as he gazed through the pages of the latest Yuki Eiri-san manga release. The man was a genius, young, rich, good looking and the owner of Japan's largest manga/anime distributing company. He was even going into the toy market right now; manufacturing the toys for his own creations. Which were - by the way - the only ones worth watching and reading at all nowadays. In short, the man was everything Shuichi wanted to be... well, except a Rock Star.

Every single Wednesday Shu would line up in his favorite manga store and with the other tens of thousands, put more money into Yuki-sama's very deep pockets. He had twelve ongoing mangas and three mayor animated series running. The man was larger than life... bigger than god.

"Who, who got killed?" A familiar voice asked and Shu bumped into someone, before he could take his eyes off the book he was reading.

"Ouch" both parties involved chanted in unison, Shuichi looked up to see none other than his neighbor, Hiroshi, standing in front of him, and rubbing his head with a pained expression on his face.

"Hey!" Hiro said after a little while, Shuichi had been just standing there, too amazed that Hiroshi Nakano would even speak to him. "You're my neighbor right?" Again Shuichi's inner self jumped in joy... _Hiroshi actually knows who I am! _

"Yeah," the scrawny boy answered shyly.

"I'm Hiroshi, you can call me Hiro. I see you looking out your window quite a lot, I have tried to call you down a couple of times, but you're usually gone by the time I look up" Hiro smiled warmly.

"I'm Shuichi..." he responded as shyly as before.

"I know, your sister told me."

"You know my sister!" Shu was shocked... _please let it not be that she was pestering Hiro-kun... _

"Yeah, she's cool. Anyways... who died?" Hiro asked pointing at the manga, changing the subject back to the original one.

"What? Oh yeah... Zabusa and Haku... wait, you read Naruto too?" Shuichi never imagined Hiro would care about such stuff.

"Hell yeah, who doesn't! I got grounded with no allowance this week, so I can't buy my own copy until who knows when. Lucky me, my super ultra, cool neighbor buys it too, ne?" Hiro smirked.

"You got grounded... why?" Shu asked, wanting to know everything about the neighbor he'd admired for the past six months.

"I tell you, parents overreact to everything. It's not like I did anything wrong you know. I was, in fact, helping someone in need." Hiro stood solemnly, with a fist on his chest, "I went to the teacher's aid office and got the answers to the math test for someone, not for me of course, I knew all the material in the test. If I may add, she really needed them."

"That's so wrong! Why would you do that? Did you say SHE... you risked your neck over a girl?" Suddenly Hiro fell from the high pedestal in Shuichi's mind, "You're a wimp!" he said disgusted

"Yeah well... she let me kop a feel." And he went right back up there.

"Wow!" Shu's eyes gleamed. "Were they big?"

"Do you think I would have done it otherwise?" Hiro put his arm around Shuichi's shoulder and shook his head, clicking his lips. "Shu, Shu, Shu... you need a lot of work, but if you stick around me, I just might be able to help you."

..._And ever since that day, the two were inseparable_.

Next Stop: "**Glaring Dream,"** please be darlings and review


	2. Glaring Dream

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any of Maki Murakami's wonderful characters. As well as any other manga/anime mentioned within this story

**R** for adult content and sexual situations. 

Many thanks to **Ember-chan** for her wonderful, insightful and super speedy beta efforts

**Part One "Bad Luck"**

**Chapter One: Glaring Dream**

"Hey." Shuichi sat next to Hiro in the school cafeteria. He looked as if he had just woken up.

"It's freaggin' lunch time. You might as well have stayed home Shuichi Shindou." Hiro let out with a bored expression on his face.

"I would have if I could have... goddamn, even when talking I'm trying to rhyme!" Shuichi yelled, grabbing his hair and pulling it hard, apparently in a pathetic attempt to wake himself up.

"So...did you finish it?" Hiro asked, not at all shocked by the bizarre behavior.

"Yes!" Shuichi shot himself up and stood on the seat while bowing to an invisible crowd. "And it's the best song EVER! If NG doesn't think so, I'm shoving the demo tape right up their asses!" Shuichi yelled as he tried to stuff a rice ball down his own throat. Hiro just rolled his eyes and grabbed him by his uniform to calm him down.

"Chill dude, we don't even _have_ a demo tape yet." Hiro said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, about that, you need to come to my place later on to record one. I have mostly all the synthesizer work done, all I have to do is refine it a little, your guitar and my genius lyrics, and we're in business! ' Shuichi changed into a businessman – cool as ice Shindou-san.

"I told you, my mom is giving me a hard time lately, it's not like we're gonna get a break tomorrow or something. Let's let it ride for a little while ok?" Hiro replied offhandedly eating a fry

"LET IT RIDE! What do you mean by _let it ride_? Hiro we must focus, we must not lose sight of our dream... Hiro!" Shuichi's eyes were tearing, his lips quivering, and all the signs of an upcoming scene were coming into place. Hiro rolled his eyes getting ready for the worst.

"Here you two losers are, I been looking all over for you." Both teens looked up in unison, Hiro smiled radiantly and Shuichi just shrugged and blew a hair off his face looking none all too pleased.

"Not too bright if you didn't start with the obvious place" Shuichi replies sarcastically.

"Hey you." Hiro said getting up and taking Maiko's hand, kissing it delicately.

"Whatever, Hiro." Maiko slapped Hiro's hand away, wiping her own on her uniform.

"Yeah man, that bit's getting kind of old," Shuichi agreed, a mocking expression on his face.

"What? Can't a guy be polite? You two are the worst!" Hiro snorted.

"Anyways... didn't you guys hear?" Maiko snapped hitting Shuichi on the head with a magazine.

"Ah!" Hiro brought a finger pensively to his mouth. "Let's see... no"

"Ouch! What did you do that for?" Shuichi complained rubbing his head

"And you call yourselves fans. I tell you, if I didn't inform you of what's going on all the time, I swear...."

"Yeah whatever - spit it out already." Shuichi cut in.

"Maybe, dear brother, if you didn't have your head stuck so deep up your ass and actually found things out on your own, you wouldn't have to bother with me."

"Shut up! Unlike others, I follow my dream and work hard for it. I have no time for pettiness." Shuichi defended his pride.

"Pettiness? You call Yuki Eiri sama getting engaged 'pettiness'!" Both Hiro and Shuichi's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"What?" they yelled in unison.

"You heard! It's all over the media. It happened yesterday. Apparently a maid from Yuki-sama's house spilled the beans – they've even got pictures of the engagement party!" Maiko rushed excitedly.

"Wait a damn minute." Hiro interrupted halting a hand in front of Maiko's face. "You mean to tell me that _Mr. cool as ice, higher than royalty, I have no feelings or emotions _Yuki Eiri sama, actually had a girlfriend stashed away somewhere?" Hiro stood aback and feigned shock. Shuichi on the other hand fell silent all of a sudden.

"And you're never going to guess _who_ this girlfriend is!" Maiko continued, not noticing her brother's sudden change of demeanor.

"Do tell," Hiro continued getting into gossip mode.

"Mika Costa" Maiko said, Hiro halted and Shuichi's expression changed from dull and seriousness to plain hurt.

XXX

**Mika Costa:** She grew up in a very poor family – the youngest daughter of five. Love was never an issue, but space was, growing up in a very small and crowded house, it had been especially hard on her, never having any privacy whatsoever. From a young age it was instilled in her that she must grow and learn how to be a good housewife, and to find a good man who could provide for her. Of course, Mika had a very deferent picture of what she wanted her life to be like. She wanted to be an actress. Maybe even move to the United States to start a Hollywood career. By the time she was in high School, those were nothing but foolish, childhood dreams. All she wanted to do was be the best she could in everything. In school, she would get the best grades, surpass everyone and ensure herself a scholarship at the best University in Japan. At home, she would be the most useful daughter to her parents, to make them feel proud of her. Everywhere else, she had to shine and make everyone acknowledge her existence. Mika told herself that in order to become someone, she must sacrifice everything, step on anybody's head, just so long as she got what she wanted. This meant leaving all she'd ever known behind, poverty and deprivation. By grade eleven her goal was almost upon her. Valedictorian was in the bag. Already Mika was sending her applications to the best Universities, as she was very confidant that she'd pass the entrance exams with flying colors. While everyone else was obsessed with parties and _love, _Mika had never been clearer of her goal.... That is until _he_ came along.

X

**Eiri (Yuki) Uesugi:** Born to a very wealthy family and very old lineage of _Monks,_ he was cursed since birth: He looked different.

By age two, he was already too tall and his hair and eyes hadn't changed color as his mother had hoped. Blond, honey-eyed kids had no place in a temple. He looked more suited to be a movie star rather than a respectable servant of God.

By age six, Eiri was too terrified of school to continue going. His parents were all too happy to hire private tutors to teach him at home – it kept people from talking.

Then his mother, already giving up on the idea that Eiri would become a decent human being, did the unthinkable. At age forty she became pregnant again to ensure the family name and reputation would be preserved.

Eiri hardly spoke to anyone and after this blow he grew even more reserved – never leaving the house. He ate his meals mostly by himself, allowing only his older sister to accompany him from time to time. She was the only one he showed any sort of emotion to.

By age ten, he was deeply involved in manga. Every Wednesday Eiri would have one of his tutors get him the latest volumes of Dragon Ball and Contra. For some reason he was obsessed with super powers and space travel. Manga was his life. He counted the hours of the day when he could go to his room and submerge himself in that world of fantasy – that world he so desperately longed for.

By age twelve he already had his own characters, his own fantasy world, where he could live happily if he wanted to. He would write until the wee hours of the night, but still it was not enough. His creations needed life. He begged his parents to hire an art tutor. It was unthinkable that monks would waste time in such a frivolous thing, but since it was Eiri, and he'd never asked for anything before, they thought there might still be hope for him.

By age fourteen his story and art took a whole new meaning... _his life_... it was not to entertain himself or kill time anymore. To Eiri there was nothing more sacred or important. He hardly ever came out of his room. Day in and day out he would make up excuses to his tutors to miss his lessons and draw all day. He stopped speaking to everyone, including his older sister Mika. She would knock, he would lift his head from his drawings long enough to tell her to go to hell, and then they would do it all over again in a couple of days. Sometimes, when she felt particularly cruel, she would send their younger brother Tatsuha in to bother him. Mika knew he hated the brat more than anything and that he would come out of the room long enough to literally kick the kid out of it. She would confront him then with the same hogging questions.

Eiri would ignore her. His parents didn't bother him, and life was good.

Until one day, one of the maids came to inform him that his parents wanted to see him. Eiri walked into the family room to see that everyone was there. Mika and even Tatsuha. He was wearing a small replica of their father's ceremonial clothes and looked ridiculous, Eiri thought as he turned his gaze to his father, whom he hadn't spoken to, even though they lived in the sane house for years. Upon seeing his face Eiri knew there was something terribly wrong.

X

His first day of high school had not being as bad as he expected it. He would never forgive Mika for doing this to him. He'd already told her that much.

With the exception of the one girl who kept on staring at him, everyone had been civilized. Nothing like the horrors from his childhood that still lingered so vividly in his mind. Regardless of that, he desperately wanted to go back home... to his _Evas_.

"Excuse me," a little voice said behind him. Eiri turned around sharply to be met by the same girl whose eyes had been burning a hole on his back all day long. He didn't respond, just looked at her calmly, waiting for her to speak.

"I... hi... I'm Costa Mika. I'm the student body president, so if you need anything at all don't hesitate to let me know." Mika said turning red from head to toe. Never had she felt anything like it. To say that the new student was beautiful was a serious understatement. Tall, lean, deep-set honey colored eyes that missed nothing. His longish blond hair flew with the breeze in just the right way.

"Fine," he responded dryly. Good god! His voice was so deep and it gave her chills just to hear it. To imagine the things that voice could whisper. Suddenly the room got hot all over and she had to close her eyes to calm herself down. When she regained her senses and opened them again, Uesugi Eiri-kun was already gone.

XXX

"No way!" Pop princess herself, is the mysterious fiancée of manga mogul Yuki Eiri sama?" Hiro whispered in gossip mode once more. Maiko nodded her head, and handed Hiro the magazine she was holding. Shuichi snatched it from her hands and looked at the pictures with a horrified expression on his young face.

"Shut up... just shut up! That's not true; Yuki-sama wouldn't get involve with that bimbo! Shows you how far the paparazzi is willing to lie to sell a few magazines." Shuichi screamed as he rummaged through the pages of the magazine, halting half the cafeteria and making the other half choke on their food. The pictures were indeed very personal, there he was, Yuki-sama, his hair longer then the last pictures Shu had seen of him, and there was that bimbo as well. Indeed they looked very familiar with each other, there were even pictures of Yuki-sama putting the ring to her finger. But as she looked radiant and happy, Yuki-sama wore the same expressionless face on every shot. Shuichi put down the magazine and sat back down... the world as he knew it was over.

"Chill out dude... What is it to you who Mr. Perfect shags?" Hiro joked grabbing the mag and looking at it intently, turning it this way and that, "Man... I can see _why_ he would shag her though." Hiro continued with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Both siblings shouted in unison.

"Don't disrespect Yuki-sama like that!" Maiko snapped, hitting Hiro on the head with a notebook this time.

"That's right, how dare you talk about him so loosely!" Shuichi hit Hiro as well.

"Ouch... goddamn, sorry! I'll be more careful not to insult those I don't know again. Anyways, I totally see this as true; I mean who better for Mr. Unreachable than the sexiest woman alive herself." Hiro said rubbing his head. Shuichi went to his sulking and Maiko began crying.

"I can't believe Yuki-sama is getting married." Maiko sighed after a while

"Hold on, the fact that he got engaged doesn't mean that he'll get married tomorrow, besides, you know how it goes with famous couples... it never works out. Hell, it may be a publicity stunt." Maiko turned her hopeful eyes to Hiro.

"Really?" She asked.

"Sure! He's still fair game, ne Shu?" Hiro asked elbowing Shuichi, who in turn just smiled ironically.

"Now, what's wrong with you? Don't tell me you're in love with Mika-san?"

"Shut up man... you're not funny." Shu responded gazing up, a sad, somber expression on his face, Hiro didn't see it however.

"Or are you afraid Yuki-sama is gonna take married life to heart, and slack on his work? Don't worry man; I'm sure his manga will be out right on time. Hell, maybe since he's married, he might release twice a week... we all know women can burn a hole in your wallet. And Mika-san seems pretty high maintenance to me."

"I said you're not funny man!" Shuichi yelled again and ran out of there with tears streaming down his face.

"What the hell was that about?" Asked Maiko concerned.

"Beats me."

XXX

Shuichi ran all the way home... _it can't be, it can't be!_ His mind screamed. He rushed to his room ignoring the concerned questions his mother yelled behind him. He went into his room and locked the door, throwing himself on his bed and finally letting it all out. He cried the way he hadn't done in years. Shuichi never thought this day would come, to him. Yuki Eiri was not an ordinary human being... he was God. No woman on earth deserved him. After his emotions sort of calmed down he turned around on his bed and stared at the ceiling remembering the first time he realized he was in love with God himself.

XX

'How long do you think we're going to stand here man?" Hiro always with his impatience, Shuichi had won the privilege, after sending a thousand entries and begging Maiko to send another few hundreds, to be- with a guest- one of the selected few to be able to see Yuki Eiri- sama in person. _NeoGenesis Evangelion_ was the rave those days. And everyone was talking about the young artist who came up with such an intricate and interesting story. The manga was on issue fifteen and they were already talking about making it an anime. Shuichi had fallen in love with the art and the writing style from the time he saw the issue at the manga store. Back then there were a few copies, but now there were, every Wednesday, big displays of _NeoGenesis_. Every other manga didn't seem important in comparison. Shuichi was the proud owner of every single "first print" issue there was. Naturally when he heard that the man himself would, for the first time, make a public appearance, he had jumped at the opportunity to be part of it and get his number one issue signed.

"I don't know Hiro, they said from four to six, is not even four yet" Shuichi said annoyed.

"You're the only freak who had to camp out here."

"I should have come alone." Shuichi said, just as annoyed.

"No, c'mon man you know I'm just playing, I like _NeoGenesis_ like any other demented fanatic... you know that, besides I want to see what this guy looks like. I can't fathom a twenty year old creating such a work of art."

"You said it man... work of art..." An announcer came out and ordered the couple of hundred fans to form a line according to numbers in front of the set up that had been prepared for Yuki-sama. They all obeyed the way they never did to their parents or in school. A reporter from "Shonen Jump" came out... _only one_. Shuichi couldn't believe it! The guy was hotter that rice balls and all they had for him was one measly reporter? Then two huge guys came out standing on either side of the chair in front of them, and finally, a tall, blond man. Shuichi was enthralled, he hadn't known what to expect, he knew Yuki-san was young, but he had never expected him to be this... beautiful! Only a nerd could have spent countless hours thinking and drawing the awesome world of the _Evas_, instead Yuki-san looked as if he could be a model. The man bowed to everyone and thanked them for their support and devotion. His voice alone sent Shuichi into a realm he'd never known before... _what was this feeling?_

"Oi, Shu... doesn't he look foreign?" Hiro whispered. Shu couldn't form words to respond. The line began moving quickly. Shu noticed that Yuki-sama's only comment to the praises everyone was obviously giving him was, "thank you". He didn't smile or even seem interested in the crowd around him. To Shuichi he even looked as if he didn't wanted to be there. For some reason this saddened Shuichi a great deal.

Finally his turn came, Shuichi put the comic in front of Yuki-san, who looked up to meet his eyes. Shu swallowed at the intensity of the man's gaze.

"Name?" Yuki-san asked, marker in hand, not taking his eyes off the thirteen-year-old Shuichi.

"Shindou Shuichi," Shu said shyly with great difficulty, he had wanted to say so many things! The whole time while standing in line he had planned the perfect conversation.

"What... aren't you going to tell me how much you love my work? Or how much it has changed your life?" Yuki-san asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, of course Shuichi didn't understand that then. He swallowed again.

"I do love it, but I cannot say it has changed my life. You are very talented Yuki-sama, and there is nothing I can say that hasn't been said. Besides you don't look in a very talkative mood." Shuichi ended regretting the fact that he had been so direct, he couldn't help it, it was the way it always went. He prepared himself to be kicked out for his insolence, but instead, the hazel eyes deepened on his, then Shuichi was graced with a smirk from the master. Yuki-san looked at his copy of _NeoGenesis _and on the cover drew an Eva with his black marker. The man drew so fast Shuichi's eyes almost filled with tears from the emotion. Once done, Yuki-san wrote something in what appeared to be English. He reached out to one of the men and he gave him a manila envelope, which Yuki-san in turn gave to Shuichi back with his newly arranged manga.

"Thank you," Yuki-san said as he handed Shu's things. Shuichi bowed and graced the man with his warmest, easiest and most gorgeous smile. Hiro who was the next person in line had not been so lucky to get his issue drawn on. What Shuichi didn't realize was that no one else did.

After Yuki-san was done he exited the room as silently as he had come. Both Shu and Hiro could not wait to get home and translate the writings on Shu's comic. Upon reaching home they pulled Maiko, who was learning English in school, and made her translate the short phrase.

_**You just made my day**_; the phrase read once Maiko was done. Shu smiled from ear to ear. That day would stay in his mind forever. 

"What's in the envelope?" Maiko asked. Shu and Hiro looked at each other, with all the excitement they had forgotten all about it. Shuichi opened it and inside was a 8x10 autographed photograph and issue #0 of _NeoGenesis Evangelion..._ Shuichi fainted.

"What was that about?" Maiko asked as Shuichi regained consciousness.

"That issue has never been published... it's got to cost a fortune." Hiro let out in awe.

XXX

A/N: Well, yes I did change the story quite a bit, but no so much that you'll be totally lost. I'm also taking the time to explain the backgrounds, so that you can understand their personalities a bit better. For the most part I will try to keep everyone "in character" but that might slightly change The OC was going to be named Maki Murakami- he he- but I decided against it, she is no way a Mary Sue of anything of the sort, she won't even make an appearance until the second part of the story (the story is divided by Chapters and parts)Hopefully you guys are enjoying it so far, if you are... drop me a line I'm always happy to hear from readers.

Next Chapter; **"Predilection**" A new character will be introduced, who will change the course of Bad Luck's "luck" forever


	3. Predilection

**R:**For language and adul situations.

I would like to thank **Ember-chan** for her speedy and insightful beta efforts.

Bochan: Someone of upmost respect.

**Chapter Two: Predilection**

"Why are you doing this to me, Eiri-kun?"

Shuichi reached out under his mattress and took the framed photograph from long ago, his most valuable possession, as the tears still streamed down his face and asked his love.

"Why? You're not like this, you're not like all those other men." He looked at the frozen image of the man of his dreams, the one he wanted more than anything to reach. And then the same heat that took over his body every time he thought about the blond God --- who gave him something that no one else had, who acknowledged him when he was nothing but a stupid kid --- coursed through him.

The tears wouldn't' stop, as he looked at the picture of the only person ever to cause these sensations in him.

"Why?" Shuichi whispered again, bringing the frame to his chest and clutching it tightly. All his most private fantasies came afloat. He lifted the photograph – and for the millionth time committing every detail to memory. Bringing his finger to his lips, he kissed them delicately, and brought them to the frozen lipsof the man he loved.

And so he did as he always found himself doing, no matter how sad or how hurt he felt. With tears still streaming down his face, His hand disappeared under the bed sheets and he began to stroke himself before his God.

XXX

_**Two years later:**_

"I can't believe you're actually buying a Mika Costa CD. I thought you hated her!" Hiro asked while he browsed through the racks. Mika Costa's latest album hit the streets and everyone was making a big deal about it. Shuichi began to say something, but was pushed against the rack by some obnoxious chick. The store was filled with fans, more than likely to get the very anticipated new Album. Shu pushed back whoever was unfortunate enough to be behind him and gave Hiro an annoyed look.

"I do hate her, but I need to understand what is it about her that drives everybody insane." Shu responded with the same annoyed expression, clinging to his copy tightly to keep it from the greedy hands of those crying because the album was sold out already.

"There is nothing to understand, she is Yuki-san's fiancée, and that alone is enough to sell records." Hiro returned matter-of-factly.

"No it isn't! I can understand the first album after she became his fiancée, but it's been two frigging years, people don't care as much as you think, Hiro." Shuichi protested.

"I'm not the one stressing about it." Shu just glared at his best friend.

"Anyways, there's other CD's I want to check out, and it's really crazy in here. I'll meet you out front." Shu said after a while, ignoring Hiro's comment and walking away. Hiro stared after his best friend, wondering for the thousandth time just what in the hell had gotten into him. He'd been obsessing over "the band" like a mad man for the last few months. To Hiro it didn't feel as if Shuichi was doing it for fun or for the love of the music anymore. It seemed as if he was trying to prove something to someone… _but to whom?_ Hiro didn't know, but he hoped with all his heart that Shu would return being the hyperactive knucklehead that he loved so much. Hiro sighed shaking his head lightly and went to get the latest X-Japan CD. He'd been meaning to buy it for the longest, but never had the time or cash. He fought his way to the Heavy Metal section --- damn the store was really packed and there wasn't even an artist signing autographs or anything --- _money must truly move mountains,_ Hiro thought, remembering what he told Shuichi before.

He walked past a group of giggling middle school girls and rolled his eyes, they probably cut class to buy Mika Costa's damn CD. He went right into his favorite part of the store – the not very visited, at the farthest corner of the place, heavy metal section. The best guitar research there was! He browsed through the rack mildly annoyed by those little girls and their incessant giggling and high-pitched comments. H_mph! little girls shouldn't be allowed in such a sacred establishment_, Hiro thought, more annoyed than he ordinarily would have been. _Damn!_ Shuichi was stressing him out as well. He decided just to grab what he was looking for, pay for the CD, and wait outside for Shuichi.

_What the hell is the matter with him?_ For months he'd been acting as if his life depended on their gigs. Sure, he constantly had to write new songs and new arrangements for their weekend gigs at the club, but he used to love doing it more than anything. He always used to have a smile on his face, was always so enthusiastic. Now they didn't even hang out anymore, and he was always demanding more and more of him – as if they were "pro's" or something. Hiro stood in line contemplating all these things, staring at the picture on the sleek vinyl cover but not seeing it at all. Sure it was almost two years since they graduated from High School, sure Shuichi flanked out the college exam entrance "twice" but he never let that put him down before.

So immersed in his thoughts Hiro was, that he failed to notice a man carrying an array of stuff in his arms, approaching towards him, until it was too late. The man collided into him making Hiro lose his balance and fall flat on his ass; most of the things the man was carrying fell on him as well.

"I am terribly sorry…" a voice said infused with politeness, Hiro looked up to see a very young, very stylish dressed man, wearing sunglasses and a very cool hat. W_ho the hell dresses like that? _Hiro thought eyeing the man.

"Nah… it's alright man, I wasn't paying attention." Hiro said instead accepting the hand offered to him and helping to pick up the fallen objects.

" I am very, very sorry, it seems I caused more trouble than I should have." The man said in an even more apologetic and polite tone. Hiro couldn't help to be annoyed, but if he was fair, he'd have to admit that the man's demeanor had nothing to do with it. _Damn Shuichi!_ All that thinking was annoying him and it was beginning to show. Hiro turned to look in the direction of the man and to his dismay there lay his super expensive "Neo" style sunglasses, the ones he'd saved for weeks to buy, broken into a hundred pieces on the floor. Hiro frowned but said nothing; instead he looked back at the man with a forced smile on his face, what was the point of making a fuss, besides, it had probably been his own ass that broke them.

"I apologize…" The man began.

"Look," Hiro snapped, more annoyed that he should have been and immediately regretting it. "Its fine, it wasn't your fault, I'll live," he said, a bit more relaxed, picking up the pieces from the floor, trashing then in the nearest trashcan and flashing the man a smirk.

"Absolutely not! I will pay for those." The man pointed at the shades in the can. "I don't suppose you take credit cards?" he said with a warm smile that for some reason made Hiro blush. He pulled something from his jacket and handed it to Hiro. "Here, please come by my office and I'll be sure to compensate you properly for your troubles." Hiro took the business card hesitantly. The man looked way too young to have a job, let alone business cards, besides Hiro very much doubted that this boy would remember what happened in five minutes from now, or that he himself would even call.

"Will do." Hiro lied.

"Well, I must go. I am afraid I'm already late for an appointment. Sorry, I didn't get your name." The man began to walk away.

Hiro considered whether or not he should tell him his name. He shrugged. What did it matter? "Nakano Hiroshi."

"Well, Nakano-san. I hope to hear from you soon." And with a smile the man went on his way.

XXX

"What took you so long? I got things to do you know." Shuichi blurted annoyingly and began to walk away without looking at Hiro.

"I had an accident of sorts… hey wait up!" Hiro hurried behind wondering why the hell was he putting up with Shuichi's moods. "What's wrong with you, why are you rushing?" Hiro came up to walk along side his friend.

"Nothing, what's wrong with me?" Shuichi repeated the question defensively.

"I don't know, you been acting weirder than usual." Hiro was already tired of playing this little game. Either Shuichi tell him what was bothering him, or he could count one guitar player –the only guitar player- out of the band.

Shuichi seemed to think for a bit, then blurted it out, "Yeah, well we're not sixteen anymore, we can't keep counting on the weekend gigs to get us by. We either take this seriously, or look for day jobs." So that was it – that was the reason Shuichi was acting crazy.

"Shuichi…" Hiro began.

"No Hiro, I want to make it. Music is my life! It's not a game. It never was – and I can't afford to hesitate anymore." Shuichi stopped to look at his best friend, "Its just that I'm really beginning to stink loser."

"Is this about Maiko?" Hiro asked looking into Shuichi's eyes.

He frowned a little, and then shook his head. "It's got nothing to do with her. I'm happy that she got accepted at the University of her dreams, I know she'll go places…" Hiro put his hand on Shuichi's shoulder to keep him from saying anymore; he knew exactly how his friend felt. He himself was there too. He'd flunked med school on purpose twice to be able to follow his dream, waiting for that big break, but there was so much time he could buy. His parents were already on the verge of kicking him out. Hell, they'd allowed him to stay a lot longer than Hiro thought they would.

"I know man… I know. Let's go to your place and make sweet music. This weekend those geezers at the club are in for a big show!" Hiro smirked, now that he knew what was on Shuichi's mind, he would do his best to follow. Shuichi smirked, giving him the thumbs up.

_We're back, baby - we're back!_

XXX

"Where to Bochan-sama?" The driver asked as his charge sited himself comfortably in the back seat, a small smile adorned his usually serious features.

"To the office. I have an appointment." The smile grew wider. "And I might get an important phone call."

"Met someone interesting Bochan-sama?" The driver asked, noticing with great happiness, the young man's change of mood. It had been so long since he'd last seen young Bochan smile like that.

"Hmm… very interesting."

XXX

"Ok, from the top!" Shuichi turned on his synth – Hiro tuned his guitar and they let the music fill everything. It never ceased to make his blood boil with anticipation, no matter how large or how small the crowd. It was in his blood, and he would never give it up.

But, as was natural, Shuichi was growing tired of the basement, and the third rate club they've been plying for the past year and half without any hopes of getting scouted anytime soon. After all, what respectable agent would even dare to set foot into such a rat hole? He wanted more, much more than those couple of songs he played a week. He wanted to play the biggest auditoriums, even if it was only opening for the main event, he didn't care. He just wanted to be heard. They had talent, he knew they did, and he was getting tired of "paying their dues." Seeing other bands with a lot less to offer getting all the attention was taking its toll on his spirits. Still he never gave up, would never give up.

"OK!" shouted Hiro playing his intro. "Hold on man," he shouted rummaging his back pocket for his shades as Shuichi was getting ready to begin playing his part.

"Aw c'mon! I know they're expensive and cool and all, but you don't have to wear them _all_ the time!" Shuichi complained, rolling his eyes.

"For effects man." Hiro frowned pursing his lips. "Damn I forgot."

"Hiro, your shades! What happened?" Shuichi asked, somehow knowing something was wrong.

"Nothing really, some bozo bumped into me at the record store and they broke when I fell on them."

"Sorry man, I know how much they meant to you, but I told you when you bought them, you should have listened to me and bought a new guitar instead."

"Yeah, whatever man, don't show so much understanding."

"Did the bozo apologize at least?"

"Yeah, he said he'd pay for them and he gave me a card to call him." Hiro said sarcastically, pulling the card he still kept and handing it to Shuichi. He took it and upon reading the name on it his eyes went as wide as they could go.

"Oh my God," Shuichi whispered in awe. Hiro snatched the card away and after reading it; the same awed expression was all he could manage.

X

**Tohma Seguchi:** An only child from the union of an actress and musician. He grew up surrounded by stars and very public figures. He wanted no part of it, but unfortunately there was no telling his parents otherwise. From piano lessons, to singing, to English – Day in and day out Tohma would go through the motions wanting nothing more than to be able to live a normal life. He never complained and never voiced his wishes out loud; instead he obediently did whatever his parents submitted him to.

He was not allowed to attend regular school, lest he'd pick up bad habits. His tutors were all instructed to teach him only the basics in math, science, history and Japanese characters – the rest was nothing but arts. He was expected to follow and excel in either of his parents' professions, but if he could do both it would be perfect.

By age ten, Tohma was a pro in piano and violin – he spoke fluent English and was already taking acting lessons.

By age twelve, he had everything he could ever desire, except friends. He already had cars he couldn't drive and the best designer clothes, even though he had nowhere to wear them. He had everything except what he really wanted.

By age fourteen, he begged his parent to allow him to attend a regular High School. He even went as far as to lying to them for the very first time – telling them that in order to be admitted to the best drama school he was required to attend normal High School. Of course his parent never checked the veracity of this. They easily complied – too afraid Tohma might not be accepted in the school they had in mind for him. Tohma had no intention to ever set foot in any acting school, but of course he could not tell his parents this. He'd find a way out when the time came.

Attending High School was the best time of his life. Even if not very many people had the guts to approach him. Tohma didn't care. He was not invited to parties or to hang out with the rest of the popular kids, but it was still all too new, too amazing, he still felt like a bird out of his cage learning how to fly and enjoying every minute of it.

By age sixteen, on his senior year he came home one day to find ambulances and police cars everywhere. Dread took a hold of him, and as he approached his mother's room it became panic. He was not allowed in, but later was told that his mother had been having an affair and upon his father finding out, had killed her and killed himself right after.

…And so at age sixteen Tohma Seguchi became a orphan… an orphan with a vast fortune at his disposal, but not only that, Tohma finally became _free_.

He went to countless meetings with lawyers and other family members, he did not even know, to prove of his competence. After it was granted that even at his young age he could take full reigns of his life and family fortune, he fired all the maids and everyone employed by his late parents. Only keeping the man who had taken care of him since he was a child, and that in more ways than, one was like a father to him. He went to Tokyo University to study finances, economics and international business, and during his last semester he met three people who would change his life forever.

XXX

"You're late." A deep voice said as soon as Tohma came into his office. He smiled warmly and bent to kiss the forehead of the most precious person in his life.

"Sorry Eiri-kun, I got into a little altercation." Tohma smiled and set a box of pastries in front of the blonde mangaka and ordered some tea.

"So, how did it go?" Yuki Eiri asked.

"Very well. How else would it go? I have no idea why you insist into sending me on these little excursions. You know Mika's popularity is not an issue." A secretary came in and served tea, promptly exiting as soon as she was done.

"Are you mad?" Eiri asked smirking.

"At you? Never, today of all days I am truly thankful to you." Tohma smiled warmly.

"And why is that?"

"I met a very interesting someone." Tohma leaned back in his chair and looked out the window, remembering the long black locks and easy going smirk of one Nakano Hiroshi.

"Oh? Is there any of those left in this world?" Eiri asked sarcastically, smirking at the pathetic expression on his best friend's face… _his only friend_.

"I know you've lost all hope in mankind Yuki-kun, but don't make fun of me. I love you too much to bear it." Tohma said, just as sarcastically.

"Anyhow, I want Mika out of my hair. She's suffocating me. Get her on tour as soon as you can." Eiri changed the subject.

"Why?" Tohma leaned over the desk and asked inches away from Eiri's lips.

"So that I can breathe." Eiri responded without flinching.

Tohma moved away and smiled warmly, he folded his hands under his chin and stared at the very complex man. "Why do you even keep her around Eiri?" He asked after a long pause.

"I don't know – it's convenient. Must you ask me this every single time?" Yuki sighed, rolling his eyes. " I can say the same to you."

"Fine, how long of a tour are we talking about?" Tohma asked, getting into business mode.

"As long as you can manage."

"Done, and Eiri-kun? Please do come and have dinner with us once in a while." Tohma asked smiling warmly again, " Mika misses you."

"How is my sister?" Eiri asked nonchalant.

"She's doing very well I suppose." Tohma responded cheerfully, as this was more of a formality than anything else.

"How do you keep her off your back?"

"I send incredibly handsome studs to keep her occupied and out of my bed, you should try it, it works like a charm."

"I wish I could… Mika is too dumb to cheat on me."

"Too in love you mean."

"Same difference."

XXX

**A/N:** Well so Yuki and Tohma know each other... I wonder how? Anywho, I hope you guys wern't dissapointed with the new character, I know some people were expecting someone else Again I appriciate all you coments, and kee'em coming. I love to hear your opinions.

Next Stop: "**Rage Beat"** Another character will be introduced, and a certain long haired guitar player, will gain a very powerful fan

**MC-88:** Thank You for the correction, it was a typo, me the smart ass that I am thought I knew all the names by heart Thanks again.

**Laidy Insomnia:** Thank you, I like to come up with unique ideas, is kind of hard though, since there is so much outthere. And yes Tatsuha will be making an apperiance, I will say nothing more

**Tikigirl23:** Thank you, I'm veryflattered, I hope I don't dissapoint you in the future

**Frozen Rainbow:** I'll be waiting for them reviews


	4. Rage Beat

**R** for language and adult themes. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/anime mention within this story.

Many thanks to** _Ember_**, for her very insightfull beta efforts.

**Chapter Three: Rage Beat**

"Oh my fucking god! Tohma Seguchi bumped into you and gave you his business card?" Shuichi shouted almost passing out from the emotion.

"Calm down, dude. Let's think this through. The guy who bumped into me looked WAY too young to be Seguchi-san, he looked barely sixteen, it was definitely a prank" Hiro reasoned, his initial shock gone.

"Shut up,dude! You mean to tell me that you are a musician and don't know how the most powerful man in the industry looks like? He was in _'Grasper'_ for crying out loud!" Shuichi screamed hysterically.

"I don't listen to "_Grasper_"" Hiro said making quotation marks.

"You don't read mags either?" Shu asked with a mixture of sarcasm and anger.

"Not ones that might feature him. I read American magazines, Japan has no decent Heavy Metal bands other than X-Japan." Hiro let out matter-of-factly.

"Fuck you!" Shuichi ran out of the room only to return a few minutes later carrying a stack of magazines in his hands. "I fucking tell you, why can't things like this happen to me! You must be the only moron who doesn't know what Seguchi Tohma looks like." The hysterical boy rummaged through the magazines like a mad man, until he came up to a shot of the genius producer, former member of the best band to walk the earth 'Nittle Grasper. "Is this the guy?" Shu put the picture on Hiro's face and waited not very patiently for an answer. Hiro looked at the picture and although the man in it was not wearing glasses or a hat, he was sure they were the same. Again that inexplicable blush graced Hiro's cheeks, he only hoped Shuichi didn't notice.

Well?" Shu shouted.

"Yes… that's him." Hiro nodded still blushing.

"Call him!"

"No fucking way!" Hiro shouted as well.

"What? You can't be serious!"

"Of course I am. I wasn't planning to call him to begin with, why would him being a big time producer matter at all?"

"You're fucking joking right? This is no coincidence, Hiro, this was preordained, don't you see? This is an omen, a sign that things will start to look up for us." Shuichi was almost crying.

"Shut up, you watch _way_ too many movies Shuichi, I said I will not call, and I will not do it, no matter what you say."

"Why?" Shuichi calmed down.

"Because…" Hiro sobered up as well and thought for a moment.

"You don't even have a reason?"

"I do! I don't want him to think that all I'm after is his influence." Hiro let out solemnly, for some reason he didn't want the man thinking that. Shu just glared at him incredulously.

"So what if that's all your after, he owes you!" Shu countered.

"He owes me a pair of sunglasses, not a record deal." Hiro insisted.

"Well tell him to hear us out and forget about the glasses." Shu begged.

"No!"

"Please!" Shuichi got on his knees.

"Stop it man! I said 'no' and that's final." Shuichi began to crawl towards Hiro, and when he was about a foot away, he dashed in the hopes to snatch the card from his unreasonable so-called best friend. If Hiro didn't realize what an opportunity this was, someone had to take advantage of it. If it was so damn important to Hiro that Seguchi-san didn't think ill of him Shu could always say Hiro had nothing to do with it. Not that Shuichi understood why it mattered so damn much, but he at least owed Hiro that much.

Shuichi was not fast enough. Hiro knew him better than he knew himself, and it was impossible to pull that kind of trick on the longhaired metal head. Hiro held the card above his head with both hands; Shuichi just shook his head, and with his hands in prayer, feared the worst.

"One more step and I'll tear it apart."

Shu's eyes went wide with horror. "No man! Think about it, please."

"If this is preordained like you said, somehow Seguchi-san will find his way to us." And with this said, Hiro tore the small card into tiny bits.

XXX

"As you can see, concentrating all our efforts on ASK will prove to be the wiser decision." Tohma spoke firmly to the other members of the board. He felt as though he were teaching algebra to first graders – none of these idiots knew a thing about music, and frankly he had no patience for them, especially these days.

"Excuse me Seguchi-sama, you have a very important phone call on line one," his personal assistant, Usagi, interrupted. Tohma felt a little relieved for the chance to be out of there, but worried at the same time. Usagi never interrupted him unless there was a _real_ emergency, or it was something that he had asked her to do beforehand. The only things that came to mind were Mika, but she wouldn't be calling on a regular line, besides his wife never called. Mika Costa, but then again, Usagi wouldn't interrupt a meeting because of her… unless she had been in an accident- he chuckled at that one- Eiri was not known to be so lucky. Eiri? But Tohma had a cell phone exclusively for his calls, so that only left. Nakano Hiroshi. He had told Usagi to transfer his call no matter what.

"If you will all excuse me." Tohma got to his feet. "Sakano-san, please take over for me." And then he exited, going to his office to get the call.

It had been five days since the incident at the record store and Tohma was beginning to wonder what was taking the boy so long – that, and his inexplicable obsession with the longhaired youth. He had not been able to get him out of his mind, hard as he might try. The way he talked, looked, and the fact that he didn't seemed to know who Tohma Seguchi was. It was very rare that he would obsess over anything like this, but he had to admit that it felt – refreshing. The anticipation of seeing him again, and the chase that would come soon after reminded him of those long ago days when he had been just as obsessed with Eiri Yuki-kun.

"Hello, this is Seguchi." He spoke softly into the mouthpiece.

"Is that how you answer the phone nisan? All sexy like that, no wonder you're so popular." Tohma rolled his eyes and sank in his chair.

XX

**Tatsuha Uesugi**: The youngest ever to become a monk in the very old and conservative Uesugi family lineage. He had his older brother to thank for that. Since childhood he felt the weight of his responsibilities and what was expected of him. He couldn't say he had a very happy childhood, or any sort of childhood for that matter. Tatsuha was always training, studying the old scriptures and trying his best to live up to everyone's expectations. He envied both his brother and sister – nothing was expected of either of them other than not to bring shame to the family.

He especially resented his brother, but was ironically thankful to him at the same time. After all, he was the reason he was even born.

From an early age he had a vague understanding of what was going on around him. Eiri was cast aside because of the way he looked, and Mika was expected to marry someone important .So he really couldn't hate them all that much. On the contrary, Tatsuha always looked for ways to get close to them. Mika for the most part always treated him like a real size doll, ready to play with him one minute, and forgetting him the next. And of course the elusive eldest brother wouldn't even try to get along. In fact, more than once he told him how much he hated Tatsuha and the whole family. So in order to keep himself occupied and out of everyone's way, Tatsuha began "dating" at a very early age. Being as tall and handsome as his brother, it was very easy to make himself look older than he really was.

It wasn't until his brother, Eiri, began attending High School, that for some reason he began allowing young Tatsuha to come around and watch him draw, and so he became Tatsuha's god. Sometimes Eiri would ask him what he thought of this or that panel, or a certain twist to the plot. To the young Uesugi, he was finally starting to have a relationship with his older brother. Little did he know that to Eiri, he was nothing more than an outside opinion for his work.

One afternoon Eiri came home from school and announced he was going to become a professional mangaka. Their parents were horrified, and utilized every resource available to throw those wishes to dust. But Tatsuha secretly admired him for his determination and wanted nothing more than for Eiri to succeed.

So…Not very long after that, with Mika's boyfriend's help- Seguchi Tohma, - Eiri's first issue of _NeoGenesis Evangelion _was released… And all hell broke lose thereafter.

XX

"What is it Tatsuha?" Tohma asked in a monotone. "I've asked you not to call me at the office, is your father alright?"

"No," the voice at the other side of the line replied. "But that's more of a mental issue isn't it?"

"Then?"

"Did you get what I asked for?"

"Which is?" Tohma said rolling his eyes again, cursing the day he gave the boy his business card.

"The DVD I asked you to get. C'mon nisan, you're in it! I know you must have dozens of them stashed away!" Tatsuha begged.

"No I do not, listen, we'll talk about this later, and about you calling me out of meetings for nonsense."

"Nisan, please you know how much this means to me!"

"Tatsuha," Tohma said sternly. "I'm in no mood to play with you." And he hung up before the teen could get another word in. The only reason Tohma put up with him was because he was Eiri's brother, lately though, the oversexed teenager and Mika –both of them- were getting on his nerves. NG's president pressed the intercom button to call Usagi. As soon as she came in she bowed apologizing profusely.

"I have told you not to transfer my brother-in-law to me." He said none too pleased.

"I am so sorry Seguchi-sama, he said it was an emergency."

"To him, a Nittle Grasper DVD _is_ an emergency." Tohma replied in the same stern voice. I expect you to be smarter than that from now on. Understood?"

"Of course Seguchi-sama." Again Usagi bowed deeply. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, you may go." She turned to leave.

"Wait, there is," Tohma said hesitantly.

"I need you to search for a certain person."

"Yes,"

"Nakano Hiroshi," Tohma said after hesitating for a few seconds. What was the matter with him? Why was he going to such extremes? "He's about twenty-years-old."

"Yes Seguchi-sama, I will have that information as soon as possible." Usagi left, and he went back to that tedious meeting.

XXX

"C'mon man, are you still not talking to me?" Hiro teased Shuichi as they sat on a bench at the park.

"I'll never forgive you." Shu sulked.

"Aw c'mon, its not a big deal. We'll make it, you'll see." Hiro smiled putting a hand on Shuichi's head

"Fuck you!"

"Ooh I love it when you talk dirty!" Hiro joked.

"Shut up!" Shuichi pushed Hiro, making him fall on his side.

"Anyways, did you finish the new song?" Hiro asked as he got up.

"What is it to you? This band clearly doesn't mean anything to your pretty head!"

"You know it does – so did you?"

"Yes your majesty," Shu said bowing, "and I gave you plenty of guitar exposure like you requested."

"Awesome! We'll kick major ass this weekend."

"Yeah whatever. I do all the work and you take the glory, meeting all the big shots."

"Stop complaining, you know you want to."

"Fuck you!"

"If you want me all that bad, all you have to do is ask, you don't have to insinuate that much, Shu-i-chi-kun." Hiro said pinching his friend's nose.

"I hate you, Hiro, you know that?" Shuichi responded pushing him again.

"Yeah, yeah I love you too."

XXX

"Excuse me Seguchi-sama." Usagi came in and Tohma held a hand, halting her as he spoke on the phone.

"Right… I'll be sure to tell him… of course… I love you too, bye." He ended his call and put his cell phone away.

"Is everything alright, Seguchi-sama?" Usagi asked.

"Yes, well my father-in-law just had another seizure and they can't find Eiri. Elusive little fellow don't you think, Usagi-chan?"

"I am very sorry to hear that."

Tohma smiled making her blush. "What is it Usagi-chan?"

"Oh, yes, sorry for the interruption, only, I have the information you requested." Usagi came closer to the desk. She had two manila folders. "There are two people under that name in this city, one is a computer engineer from the IBM company, and the other does not have a job currently, he does however play in a band at an underground club on Friday and Saturday nights. I assumed this is the person you meant, so I took the liberty to get all the information I could on him."

"Thank You Usagi-chan." Tohma smiled and she bowed, setting the folder down on the desk.

"Will you be needing anything?"

"No, that's all." Tohma smiled pointing at the door. Usagi left. He stared at the folder for a full minute, then took it and opened it slowly. There was even a picture of the boy, a high school yearbook shot. Tohma took it from the paper clip that held it, and looked at it carefully. Not a very old picture he noticed, the hair was a little shorter, but no other difference that he could see. He read the file, set down the folder once done, then sank back on his chair deep in thought.

"You are a musician, I am the president of a recording label and a producer, yet you have not called me – _why?"_ Tohma asked to the empty office. A slow easy grin eased on his face. "Interesting… very interesting." He shot up and looked at his watch. It was 6:30 pm on Friday night, and according to that file he played at around 9:00 pm. "First things first," he said aloud, taking a phone out of his pocket and dialing a number he knew only too well.

"Eiri-kun," Tohma said warmly as soon as the deep voice answered. "I have good news and bad news."

"_What… who's this?"_ the sleepy voice said.

"You answered the phone without knowing who it is… very un-celebrity like." Tohma joked.

"_Huh, Tohma. What is it? This has better be important. I worked all night and I'm tired," _Eiri grouched.

"I said I have good and bad news."

"_What's the bad news?" _Tohma smiled, how typical of him to say that.

"Your father had another seizure. They're expecting you. The good news is that I arranged a mini tour for Mika starting in about two weeks."

"_Two weeks! Why that long, can't you get her on the road sooner?"_ Eiri complained.

"That's as fast as I could manage. Don't worry; in the mean time I am already arranging her summer tour, that should get her off your back for a while. You'll owe me another one," Tohma smiled

_"Yeah, come get your payment,"_ Yuki snapped. Tohma smiled again and shock his head. _"About you, are you going to Kyoto tonight, I'm not going by myself, I don't understand. Why the sudden love for their first born?"_

"I was going to, but something came up. I will see you tomorrow morning though, as early as I can manage, I promise."

There was a pause on the other end. _"Fine, but I'm only doing this out of charity."_

"See you tomorrow Eiri-kun."

XXX

"Alright! The club is fuller than usual, Hiro. All the better to hear my ass kicking song!" Shuichi said excitedly as he looked at the crowd outside. Hiro was polishing his guitar and seemed to be miles away. "Are you listening?"

"Huh, what?" Hiro looked at Shu absently.

"What's the matter with you? You have been acting weird all day." Shuichi walked to his best friend and took the guitar away. Hiro didn't even look up -bad sign- he never allowed anyone to touch his _Jackson. _

"Sorry man, I just don't feel up to it tonight." Hiro replied.

"Well, you better get "up" to it soon, we're next."

"I know I'll be alright."

"You want to talk about it?" Shuichi asked concerned.

"Is nothing, I just had an argument with my folks, that's all." It must have been a very bad argument, Shuichi thought; Hiro rarely even paid attention to them, let alone worried like this.

"Let's go, man. Let your lover make you feel better." Shuichi said handing Hiro his guitar. The longhaired man smiled bitterly as he took it.

"It'll be alright," Shu said and they went on the stage as the DJ introduced them.

"HEY EVERYBODY!" Shu yelled over the mike and turned around to look at Hiro. His friend was already smiling and waiving at the chicks at the front, he looked up and gave him the thumbs up. "HOW ABOUT A NEW SONG TONIGHT!" The crowd went wild. They were very well known at this club and, unbeknownst to them, many just came to see them play.

"YEAH! SHUICHI GOT OFF LAZY ASS AND WROTE A NEW ONE FOR Y'ALL!" Hiro cut in, and the crowd went wild again.

"YEAH WHATEVER, MAN! AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, WE"LL BRING YOU"

"RAGE BEAT!!!" They both yelled and began playing their sweet music.

XXX

A/N What's the deal with Tohama? And why does the world seem to revolve around him?I mean C'mon I thought this was a Yuki/Shuichi fic!!

Blue to annoying alter ego: Its a multi-couple with preference towards Yuki and Shu, you know this! Just give it some time, we have to explore each character first.

Blue's alter ego: My ass!! I want Yuki/Shu action NOW!

Blue: Well, that will have to wait a little,but there will be action alright... but not who you might expect.( Blue snickers 'cause she know exacly what's going to happen in the next chapter)

Next Stop: **Blind Game Again **oh yes, some action on the way

XX

I gotta say that I'm a little dissapointed with the lack of feedback, I thought I had a good thing going. Oh well, what can one do?

**Lady Insomnia:** Thank You, your feedback makes me feel very good. I don't know about passing for a pro, but if you like it its enough for me lol

**MC-88:** If you thought that was "outside the box" the next one is gonna have you going.. Huh... what the fuck!?

**Miserable Midori:** Now why would you change your penname, I thought Frozen Rainbow was so cool.And why are you green and micerable?


	5. Blind Game Again

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/anime within this story.

Many thanks to **Ember**, for her very insightful and speedy beta efforts

**R: Please heed rating, this chapter contains adult material, you have been warned**

**Chapter Four: Blind Game Again**

Tohma made his way through the crowded club. It had not been easy to find, and the part of town it was located in left a lot to be desired. He only hoped that coming all the way here had not been a big misjudgment on his part. Fighting his way to the bar he took a stool and looked around at the countless bodies moving to the rhythm of a very fast song.

All of this brought memories of those early days, when he had finally tasted freedom in the ultimate form… _Nittle Grasper_

A bartender approached him and set a glass down in front of him to order. "Midori Sour," Tohma said as loud as he could manage.

"Fancy drink, eh buddy?" the man said conversationally looking at Tohma suspiciously. "You got an ID?"

"Do you have the drink?" Tohma countered politely. The man nodded and Tohma pulled out his wallet showing the man an ID that read "Yuki Uesugi" obviously a fake. Tohma couldn't go around telling people his real identity, especially after all the trouble he had gone through to disguise himself. The man looked at the ID. He couldn't tell it was a fake, of course, because it was the best money could buy. The name was an inside joke as well, the pen name of his most important someone –Eiri- and the last name of both, him and his "first" woman – Mika.

The man smiled and poured the green sweet liquor into the glass he had previously set down. A band took the stage and began playing an old song from Grasper's first album. Tohma almost choked on his drink. The irony of it was almost too funny. He turned around to look at them, a pathetic bunch, teenagers that didn't even look old enough to be there. He paid close attention to the main keyboardist and almost laughed out loud at how bad he was – they all were.

The pathetic excuse for an imitation ended and Tohma couldn't be more thankful for it. A DJ made a short comment, asked everyone to applaud and support the 'band' and again, regular music began blasting and the floor filled itself with dancing bodies once more.

"Another one?" The same tender asked.

"Do I have to?" The newly blonde music industry mogul asked.

"If you want to stay seated."

"In that case, if I buy the whole bottle, will that be enough to buy me the seat?"

"Hey if you can afford it… hell yeah!" Tohma smiled and put a few of the highest notes on the counter.

"After that performance I think I need the bottle." Tohma smiled and the man laughed out loud.

"Yeah, they were pretty bad, but don't worry, the next number is a real treat."

"Can I ask you a question?" Tohma asked politely.

"Sure for one of those bills you can ask me to dance naked if you want."

"Is there a Nakano Hiroshi playing here tonight?"

The bartender seemed to think it through, then hit his head on the side. "Nakano…ah Hiro! Yeah he's playing here tonight, they're next," _Hiro… has a nice ring to it,_ thought Tohma, repeating it in his head. "You should have said you were Hiro's friend before, you don't need to buy no bottle of booze to sit here! Any friend of Bad Luck's is a special guest of ours," the man smiled. Tohma held up a couple of notes as tip and the man took them bowing respectfully.

"Is he that good?" Tohma continued amazed.

"They're awesome! I have no idea why they haven't been scouted yet."

Tohma just smiled."Who knows… let's just wait and see," he said more to himself than to the man.

"ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY!" suddenly a young, high-pitched voice yelled, and the music halted as everybody began to cheer. Tohma turned towards the stage again and felt something warm course through him as he laid eyes on the leather pants and purple open shirt-clad figure of Nakano – Hiro. He was smiling and giving the thumbs up to the crowd. He looked exactly like the rock stars in the American magazines, holding a Jackson "Old school" black guitar. "HOW ABOUT A NEW SONG TONIGHT?" The young boy with Hiro yelled, and once again the crowd went wild. Tohma looked on, the anticipation and exhilaration,felt very acute to him at that moment. He instinctively moved forward to hear them and see them all the better. He had not felt anything of the sort since he himself took the stage night after night with his own band.

"YEAH! SHUICHI GOT OFF HIS LAZY ASS AND WROTE A NEW ONE FOR Y'ALL!" Hiro yelled, giving Tohma a very sweet chill down the spine, which ended in his stomach. Whether it was the drink, the anticipation or the sound of Hiro's cool and crisp voice, Tohma couldn't tell.

"YEAH WHATEVER MAN! AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, WE"LL BRING YOU" The boy yelled and they both laughed as the crowd chanted "_Bad Luck! Bad Luck!"_

"**RAGE BEAT**!!!" Hiro joined to announce the song, and the music began.

Tohma was rendered speechless. The music flowed into every pore of his body. Hiro's intro gave him chills and the sweet adrenaline rush that he'd all but forgotten. He closed his eyes and let the melody carry him down memory lane:

X

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** Grew up in a happy family, with loving parents and a twin sister. They always supported them in everything they might want to do. Early on it was discovered that Ryuichi was very intelligent and had a very acute ear for music. He learned how to play guitar on his own and how to write music scores. His parents encouraged Ryuichi to develop his full potential, by taking him to concerts, ballets, plays and everywhere they could think of in order to help Ryu decide what he wanted to do with his innate talent.

Everywhere Ryuichi went he made fast friends and soon became the favorite to all. In school, at church –in which he singed in the chorus- and even thought it was a small audience, since Christians were not very well looked upon in Japan, he always gave it his all.

In High School the girls fought over him, and the guys idolized him. He was every teacher's pet and no one seemed to neither to care nor get jealous. All in all, Ryuichi Sakuma had a very fulfilling childhood.

By the time University entrance exams came along, he decided not to go to college at all and dedicate himself to music instead. His sister Aiko however, wanted to be a doctor but was very scared of going on her own, and since Ryuichi and herself had been virtually inseparable since birth, he agreed to take the test with her, to give her confidence.

His test result was among of the highest, scoring him admittance at the very prestigious "Tokyo U." He was not interested in academics, but to make his parents happy he attended along with his sister.

From day one, he became very popular and known throughout campus. Not long after starting school, he became good friends with a law student named Noriko and a classmate of his in arts named Yoh. They formed a band and played at every party and gathering in school and the surrounding areas. It didn't matter to Ryuichi whether he made it in the music business or not. All he wanted to do was live and breathe the music for his own enjoyment and the enjoyment of those he knew and loved. But to his band mates however, it wasn't as simple. They wanted fame, glory and everything that came with it.

By his last year in school it had become an obsession to them. And since Ryu wanted to make them happy, it became an obsession to him as well.

Ryuichi's sister Aiko was involved in her own thing, but they still told each other everything. Things like she was madly in love with a very rich classmate of hers, Seguchi Tohma, but that he hardly ever spoke to anyone. She had fallen for him earlier that year, when she attended a private party with her friend and classmate -Mika Uesugi- and he played the piano for the few guests. Ryuichi listened to her intently like always, taking this bit of info and locking away in his head. He also admired Tohma Seguchi- they all did- he was so cool and elegant, so fashionable and he always looked as though he were torn right from the pages of a fashion magazine. Of course Ryuichi never thought himself worthy to befriend such a person, but fate never spared anyone.

XX

"Seguchi- sempai!" Tokyo University's most popular kid was calling his name.

"Yes?" Tohma answered shyly, he was very surprised that Sakuma Ryuichi even knew his name.

"I was told that you could play the synthesizer." Ryu-kun asked hopefully with big, brown puppy eyes.

"I play the piano," Tohma found himself responding, wondering how this bit of info made it to Mr. Popularity's ears.

"I need your help, Seguchi-sempai," Ryuichi confessed. "We're supposed to play at a club tonight, but our synth player got into an accident and can't make it.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Tohma concerned. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he'll be Ok, but we need a replacement for him tonight, there's gonna be a big time music producer at the club." Ryuichi sounded desperate; he had to be in order to be asking a total stranger for help.

"Well… I have never played a synthesizer, or in front of a crowd for that matter… and its been a long time since I last played."

"Please Seguchi-sempai. I'll do anything, I'll give you a score, and we'll go over it and rehearse before tonight's show, plus Noriko-chan can teach you the basics… please tell me you'll do it!" Tohma ordinarily would dismiss such a request, but there was something about Ryuichi Sakuma that prevented him from denying him.

"I can try…" Tohma found himself saying very much against his will, and Ryuichi threw himself at him and gave him the tightest of embraces before Tohma could even finish the sentence.

They played that night in front of hundreds- at least it seemed that way to Tohma. And for the first time in his life, he felt truly alive; he found out what freedom truly meant. It was like an electric current coursing through his body, reorganizing his subconscious so that he became part of the music itself. It was exhilarating, he felt as if he was high on the most powerful drug. On stage Tohma's natural shyness and nervousness went away and transformed him into someone totally different.

They got scouted on the spot that night… thus _Nittle Grasper_ was born.

XXX

The young boy playing the synth began his song, an up beat love lyric with nothing new to offer, but the intensity and the feeling he was pouring into the song, was enough to make it stand on its own. Hiro's guitar was superb; Tohma could tell they'd been at it for a while. His professional ear was never wrong. The bartender was right, it was short of a miracle that they had not been scouted yet. Tohma smiled happily, the possibilities were endless, not only was Hiro proving to be a very interesting man, but he was also going to be NG's next "big thing" along with his partner. And he, Tohma Seguchi, president and producer extraordinaire, intended to give them all the attention they deserved.

XXX

"Wow man, did you see that crowd? It went wild!" Shuichi slapped Hiro on the back as they walked off the stage, Hiro's previous mood all but forgotten. They were laughing and pushing each other like little kids high on sugar, as it happened every time they got on stage.

"Man, that song is way cool, are you sure you wrote it Shuichi-kun?" Hiro asked pinching the shorter band member's face. Shu pushed him and gave Hiro a couple of Bruce Lee style kicks. Hiro evaded them and pretended to be Ken Masters – from his favorite video game, and they both began playing arcade style. Neither of them noticed the figure who came back stage and stood by the doorway staring at them for a few minutes, feeling a bit jealous of the close interaction.

"Hiro-kun," Tohma said after he had enough of it, and both friends turned sharply as one.

"Oh my God," Shuichi whispered in awe, too shocked to say anything else. Hiro just stood there staring disbelievingly at the young blonde man, wearing a Metallica shirt, ripped jeans and a backwards cap, he lowered his gaze as a little blush graced his face.

"I thought you would call me for these," Tohma said holding a pair of "Neo" shades –the upgraded version of the ones Hiro had.

"Seguchi-sama," Hiro said, bowing lower.

"Please, Hiro-kun, may I call you that?" Hiro nodded still slightly bowing and blushing. "Don't do that, it makes me feel old!" smiled the industry's most powerful man.

"I… it was my fault, you didn't have to go through any trouble on my behalf." Hiro responded fidgeting.

"It was not trouble at all. I am actually glad I came, you had me in for a real treat." Tohma smiled again.

"Did you see us play?" Shuichi asked, coming out of his shock

"Shuichi!" Hiro reprimanded, elbowing his imprudent friend on the side.

"Yes I did," Tohma replied. " I think you two have a lot of potential." He got a card out of his jean pocket and walked over to Shuichi, passing Hiro in the process. "I'll have you give me a call this time, I am afraid I will never hear from you guys if I give this to someone else I know," and he winked at Hiro making him blush deeper. Shuichi took the card almost aggressively and stared at it as if it was gold. Hiro couldn't be more embarrassed, this was exactly what he had wanted to prevent to begin with. "Well I think I have done enough damage around here," Tohma continued after he gave Shuichi enough time and space to drool.

He then turned, meeting Hiro's eyes and staring right into them for what seemed an interminable length of time. Hiro cursed himself inwardly for blushing like a schoolgirl, but tried to meet the intense gaze with one of his own "I hope to hear from you very soon." The music mogul said more to Hiro than anyone else; of course Shuichi was oblivious to any of this and just nodded like an idiot. Tohma smiled at Hiro one last time and walk away, losing himself in the crowd.

Shuichi stared after him in awe, and Hiro looked to the side pensively. "It **_was_** preordained," Shu whispered sarcastically after a while.

"Shut up!" Hiro smacked him, a bad feeling creeping into him.

XXX

Tohma was too high on adrenaline to go home just yet, he had driven one of his cars so no one knew where he was. He took a turn into a familiar street and parked in front of a building he hadn't been to in a long time. He knew _he_ would be there, most likely working. He took the short elevator ride to the second floor, thinking, picturing the whole event over in his mind. The way Hiro moved, danced to the music, bobbed his head this way and that, to the rhythm of his own guitar, how the sweat dripped down his face. Tohma smiled humming the contagious, melody that stuck in his brain like a bad habit. The elevator door opened and he walked the short distance to the only door on that floor.

Tohma opened the door and he was standing in front of it, holding a beer, already waiting for whoever had triggered the motion sensor downstairs.

"Tohma…" The deep voice began with a grouch; and Tohma threw himself at him and kissed him long and hard, the way he had not kissed anyone in years. The other man responded in full not questioning the sudden intrusion. Tohma's hands began to work on the partially opened white shirt, pulling it off at the shoulders. The willing participant broke the kiss, staring intently, and then laughing out sarcastically.

"What the hell are you doing here, and why are you dressed like that?"

"Just shut up and fuck me," Tohma said falling to his knees, deciding to leave the shirt alone and concentrate on better things

"Oi, what are you doing? Sex is the farthest thing from my mind right now," replied the tall blonde man, but he was already taking hold of Tohma's head and removing the cap, to run his fingers though the silky and wavy hair. "What did you do to your hair?" he whispered, as a mouth took in the already hard member. Yuki Eiri threw his head back and let the sensation take over his mind. _They hadn't done this in…years._

"If you insist," Yuki whispered, grabbing Tohma's head with both hands and moving it up and down fast. He fell to his knees as well and kissed the swollen lips of his once mentor- then lover and now best friend and most important someone- tasting himself in them. Yuki got to his feet and carried the older man to the sofa, throwing him carelessly on it. He locked lips with Tohma once more and ripped his

T-shirt while bruising his lips all the more. Yuki was not the one to look at the gift on the horse's mouth, and it had been so long since he and Tohma had joined each other in their loneliness and desires.

He kissed his way down Tohma's neck, collarbone and down to his chest, taking one of the taunt nipples in his mouth and teasing the other with his fingers. Tohma let out a moan as he grabbed Eiri's head and played with his hair. The ripped jeans came off next, revealing the all to ready sex for the world to see.

"Eh… bigger that I remember," Yuki teased coming back to Tohma's lips and whispering seductively as his hand grazed the hard and hot shaft.

"Don't tease," Tohma managed to let out, "just do it." He implored it with an urgency Yuki had only seen on their first time.

"And where is my fun in that arrangement, Mr. President?" Eiri licked the side of Tohma's face, tasting the bit of sweat that had gathered there. He got to his knees and teased the member with his tongue and fingernails next, eliciting more seductive moans from Tohma. Eiri was not a sexual creature by nature, but once aroused, he could not stop until he was completely satisfied. And he found that the only one who could accomplish that was Tohma. Women held no interest to him – never had. The times he had sex with Mikka, were few and far apart, more of an obligation than anything else. He loved her, in his own way, he knew, but the love he felt for her was more like a brother to a sister

-_funny that he had two sisters named Mika_- Yuki thought absently, still caressing the smooth skin below him.

He took the whole of Tohma's length into his mouth and by the loud gasp, and tightening of the hands on his head, Yuki could tell he'd hit a spot. He sucked hard and fast, then maddeningly slowly. The hand on his head opened and closed desperately, he could hear shallow breaths that were causing their effect in him as well. He let go of Tohma's length and was awarded with a disappointed whimper; the musician sat up and took a hold of Eiri's shirt again.

"Little boys lay back and let the experts do their thing," Yuki whispered cruelly, pushing Tohma back down and licking two of his own fingers, inserting them deep within Tohma. He arched his back letting out a loud gasp

"Deeper!" he whispered next, almost choking. "Deeper!"

Eiri smirked, all too happy to comply.

In the beginning, when they started this relationship of sorts, it was more of a business arrangement. Yuki had wanted his work to be published, and Tohma was the only one who could help. Eiri hadn't cared that Tohma was going out with his sister when he offered himself as collateral. It had been surprisingly very pleasurable that first time, so they had continued doing it often there after. Eiri got to explore as much as his young curiosity allowed him and fulfill many fantasies thanks to Tohma, who would literally do whatever the young Uesugi Eiri asked. The sexual desire for each other weaned down over the years, but the indestructible bond and love was still there, and would probably never die.

After torturing his victim enough, Yuki got on the couch to position his own neglected sex and end it before the over stimulated man passed out on him. He played a little, pulling his fingers in and out of his best friend, while with his other hand he stroked his engorged length, making Tohma emit wild growls and shake his head from side to side.

"Oh God… Hiro," Tohma whispered, and Yuki raised a brow and smirked evilly plunging himself hard into the tight opening. Tohma's mouth opened agape in a silent plea. A few thrusts was all it took and it was over. Eiri reached out over him to the coffee table and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it, he draped his arm over Tohma and rolled over making both of them land on the carpet bellow. He took a few puffs and when he felt Tohma's breathing steady a bit smirked again.

"Don't get too comfortable… It's not over yet."

"Thank god for youthful energy," whispered Tohma happily. Taking the cigarette from Eiri's hand and taking a long puff from it. Yuki leaned on one elbow and looked down at the serene and satisfied expression.

"Who's Hiro?" he asked, kissing the smooth forehead below.

"I thought you were going to Kyoto," Tohma whispered, ignoring the question.

"Good thing I didn't… who's Hiro?" Yuki asked again as he kissed the bridge of Tohma's nose this time.

"Hmmm, wouldn't you like to know," Tohma whispered with his eyes still closed.

XXX

A/N: OMG Tohma and Yuki!!! What the hell is going on, I thought this was Yuki/Shuichi fic… Not to worry my dears, It will happen… sooner or later

Next Stop: **Welcome to my Romance. **This chapter will star the second part of this fic "Yuki" Yes you guessed it, Yuki will be the main character- _finally_- don't miss it

XX

**Lady Insomnia:** Thank you, thank you. Trust me I'll make it work, and also, Ipromise that I will include Tatsu a lot more in later chaps

**CassiToTheStars:**Yes I started posting here first, but now AFF and MM are all caught up, so I'll be posting simultaniously.Thanks for the advice as well

**MC-88:** Good! recomend it to as many people as you can As far as Hiro and Tohma goes, starting from the next chappy I'll give them a little rest... to concentrate on the pair you hentais are all waiting for

**AnimeGoddessS:** I can't promise I will kill Tohma, I love him too much... but I can kill Yuki if you want evades rottentomatoes furiously Ok, ok I won't kill him either! but I'll think of something to make it worth your while

**anime-freak-yay:** I hope this chap was hentai enough for you... don't go and report me now >.

**The Plot Bunny** Whisperer: Thank You, I'll try.

**Miserable Midori:** See? All updater, aren't I quick?


	6. Welcome to my Romance

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga within this story.

Many thanks to **Ember**, for her very insightful and speedy beta efforts.

**R:**for language, Yaoi and sexual situations.

Ok, I decided to change the spelling of the "Mikas" Yuki's sister will be spelled the same as in the manga "Mika" while his fiancée will have an added K "Mikka"

Part Two "Yuki"

Chapter Five: Welcome to my Romance

"What the hell is this?" Yuki Eiri snapped as he sat at his desk going through the latest issue of _Ruroni Kenshin,_ his current "_baby._" As he browsed through the pages of the pre-press copy, he could not help but to feel his anger rise. There were two pages not drawn by himself, but by the inker, that and an array of other mistakes that he could see at a first glance. It literally made his blood boil. Incompetent, half-witted idiots surrounded him and never failed to surprise him on a monthly basis, how stupid and out of their league they were. He was a perfectionist, and all he was asking of his staff was perfection. He paid them top salaries and gave them all they could possibly need and more to do their jobs properly. He'd been called a Nazi to work for, but everyone knew that he didn't ask for what he wouldn't do himself.

His project manager, Onizuka Hamaru stood rigid in front of his desk wiping his brow with a handkerchief. It made Eiri sick to his stomach, but Yuki put up with it because- even though he'd never told him- he trusted the man. It had been the same for the past eight years, he'd figured they might learn something sooner or later, but that was more wishful thinking on his part than reality. Yuki pushed up his glasses and made yet another face.

X

Onizuka jumped with every movement of the grumpy mangaka. "We needed to add two more pages to meet the standard, I tried contacting you Yuki-sama, but your phone seemed to be off, a decision needed to be made and I made it." The operations manager defended his position, although it was just as well, Yuki Eiri didn't like excuses. The said writer shifted his eyes and hardened his cold stare. Onizuka lowered his head to avoid meeting those eyes which had giving him many a nightmares over the years.

"I don't pay you to make decisions, I pay you to do exactly as I ask you to do. If the volume needs more pages, you wait until I bring them, otherwise it does not get published, nobody touches _my_ stories," Yuki Eiri said in a cold emotionless voice. "If this is too hard for you to understand…let me know so that I can look for a replacement."

"I…I am sorry, they were only filler pages, and did not change the story in any way," Another murderous look from the younger man, " it will not happen again." The man said bowing, and waited for Yuki to finish writing his corrections.

"How many appointments do I have for today?" Yuki asked disregarding the apology.

"Yes," Onizuka said pulling his digital organizer and accessing the appointment pages.

"That won't be necessary," Yuki said halting a hand to stop the man from reading them aloud, "Cancel them all, I don't feel like seeing anyone."

"You have two interviews that have been postponed from last month," Onizuka reminded.

"And that would be relevant because…?" Yuki raised his cold gaze to the older man. Once again Onizuka looked down and remained silent. Yuki handed him the corrected manga, along with a few notes he scribbled. He stood up and walked to the door.

"Make sure they are followed to the letter, do you think you can handle that?" Onizuka nodded. "Good, assemble everyone for this afternoon. We're having a meeting, and there will be a lot of changes around here." With those words, Yuki stormed out of the office.

XXX

Mikka Costa sat in front of a big screen TV watching the video everyone was making a big fuss about: Yeah, catchy song, good music, good looking guys… but hardly enough to take all of Tohma's time away. On top of that there was a very strong buzz going that Mr. President had a little more than a professional interest in one of these guys-- it was all the talk at NG.

She watched the brownish haired singer as he sang his lyrics; he was dressed in black leather pants and nothing more, other than a pair of black wings. The other band member was somewhere in the background, playing guitar, sporting exactly the opposite. She watched intently, noting the fact that never in her entire career had she seen such a high budget video. Why, it was full of computer graphics and all sorts of special effects. Had she known things would be this different after coming back from her big summer tour, she would have postponed it, it's not like she needed the money, nor the exposure.

What's worst, she'd been back for almost a week and had not even crossed paths with Eiri. He was always working, and they never really got to spend much time with each other. But, they _did_ live together, and he hadn't even come into their bedroom to say hello. Lately his studio apartment was becoming his only home.

Mikka sat back and again let her eyes wander to the figures on the screen, and listened to their little song intently…

"I don't care what you have to do, I want it published tomorrow, or it's your job!" The deep voice of her fiancé intruded her thoughts. Mikka smiled like she always did upon hearing it, it was incredible that after all these years it still caused the same wanting sensation in her. She got up and walked around the sofa and laced her arms around Eiri, pressing herself on his back, she felt him stiffen a bit in shock, then loosen up as realization hit him. "I have to go," he said curtly and hung up.

"Mikka, I didn't know you were back," He said, turning around. She loosened her arms to allow him the movement.

"I did leave a message on your voicemail, I get to talk to it more than I get to talk to you," She said smiling, never able to be mad at Eiri for too long. She ran her hands over his back, then under his shirt at the front, feeling his toned muscles, then tracing his navel and nipples with her fingertips.

"What are you doing? I have to work," Eiri said taking her wrists and gently pulling her away.

X

_What the hell is Mikka doing back so soon?_ Yuki's thoughts went back to calculate how long she'd actually been gone for. Again she put her hands on his back, he knew exactly where she was going, and he didn't feel like a mercy lay at all at the moment. He walked away from her, going around the sofa to grab something from the coffee table he needed for his meeting, and set to head for the door before he got stuck fucking her.

Then a melody made its way to his ears and he found himself looking for the source of the sound. Yuki looked at the TV screen and saw the most beautiful face and most expressive eyes he's ever seen invading it. He froze and stared at it disbelievingly. Never had he seen a face that caused such reaction in him--- except that once--- at his first public appearance as a mangaka, when that little boy smiled so innocently and purely at him, all those years before.

_Was it a man, a woman?_ The face took most of the giant size screen giving him great detail, but making it impossible for him to tell. Then a voice came out of his lips in a sweet and melodic song, definitely male. And the feeling that was being poured into the lyric, gave him butterflies in his stomach. He stared at the images stupefied for a few seconds. Then the camera backed slowly showing a background of what seemed to be a mixture between heaven and hell. The singer's full body came into view and Eiri almost gasped at the sight. A slender young boy wearing nothing but a black pair of leather pants and gargoyle style black wings…_a fallen angel,_ his longish hair blew softly and his eyes seemed to be staring right at him.

"We haven't seen each other in months," intruded the feminine whine, the TV screen suddenly went off, and Eiri almost whimpered at the loss of the voice penetrating his soul. He turned to her furiously giving her a hard glare. "Eiri…" Mikka repeated almost apologetically reaching out a hand to him. He hardened his eyes on her and walked away, leaving before he said something he would regret.

XX

Yuki got in one of his cars and drove to the only place that served him as solace. The images played in his mind over and over, the face, the eyes, the whole of him He would not let them go. He wanted to remember every detail of the one who had enchanted him like nothing else ever had. He came into his studio and got a pad and pencil and began drawing furiously. One after another, the sketches were being torn, crumpled and trashed. He could not get it right, could not conjure the same emotion, the same clarity and innocence in those eyes. After a handful of failed attempts, Yuki went inside and turned on the TV-it had been years since he'd done so- and began rummaging through all the channels in the hopes to catch the video one more time. A few hours later, after frustration threaten to eat him whole, he again went back to his pad and tried once more to give his _fallen angel_ life. He drew until his fingers felt numb… No use, he could not bring his angel to life.

XXX

"I can't believe it's finally happening!" Shuichi awed as he stared at himself on the TV screen. He looked so different, older, cooler, sexier. Not even in his dreams had he looked so good. Hiro sat across from him, but his expression was very different, he was staring unblinking, almost coldly, and standing by the window was the manager Seguchi-san assigned for them, Sakano-san. Their first video was awesome, Shuichi had no idea how they were going to top it, but according to Seguchi-sama, they would get better and better.

It all happened so fast. After the night at the club, it all seemed like a dream, both he and Hiro had been caught in. Shuichi called Seguchi-san the very next day-- much to Hiro's objection-- and Seguchi-san himself saw them the very same day. And from there it all went down like an unstoppable snowball. Now, six months later, their dream finally came true "Bad Luck's" debut single "Glaring Dream" hit the airwaves with a breathtaking, and mind-blowing video to go with it.

"So what does it feel like?" Sakano-san asked warmly.

"Awesome!" Shuichi couldn't even begin explain what he felt. Hiro remained silent, he'd been acting very strange lately, and Shu couldn't wait to be alone with him to ask him about it.

"You ought to be the luckiest people alive. Seguchi-san has never taken anyone under his wing before, and he is going to great lengths to promote you." Sakano came over and sat next to Hiro, and he too watched the video as it was ending.

"_And that was Back Luck, the newest band to spawn from the prestigious NG label_…" The announcer began, and Sakano-san turned off the television set. Shuichi wanted to hear it, to know everything they said about them, to record it and watch it again and again if it was possible.

"We have a few radio appearances and a signing session at Tokyo Records, to promote the new single. In the mean time we'll pay the top shows to continue playing your video. Hopefully with enough exposure, we can get it on the charts." Both Shuichi and Hiro listened to Sakano-san making calls, but it was very hard to concentrate when Hiro looked like someone was pulling his legs.

"Sakano-san," Shuichi interrupted as politely as he could.

"Yes?"

"Is there any way you can give me five minutes with Hiro?" Sakano-san looked puzzled for a second, then smiled and nodded, getting up and exiting the room.

"Alright mother-fucker, what the hell is the matter with you?" Shuichi yelled as soon as the door closed behind their manager.

"What are you talking about, man?" Hiro snapped back defensively.

"Why are you acting up?" Shuichi came face to face with his friend.

"Get away from me you freak, nothing's the matter, why are you such an asshole?" Hiro pushed Shuichi back and he landed sitting down on his side of the couch.

"Hiro, you can lie to your mother, but you can't lie to me, spit it out before I kick your sorry ass." Shuichi screeched.

"Don't you think this is weird?" Hiro blurted out suddenly calming down somewhat. "I mean, don't you feel like things are happening way too fast? I mean, I know we've been at it for a while, but, Seguchi-san comes in and for no apparent reason stuffs us down every throat in the business." Shuichi listened to the words and could not believe his ears; the desire to pound his best friend was threatening to overpower his reason. He breathed deeply and calmed down and looked into Hiro's eyes.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Shuichi asked exerting great control.

"Think about it man, isn't it suspicious?" Insisted Hiro.

"Hiro, we have paid our dues, for a year and a half at that rat hole we played every weekend, and long before that, I don't believe things happened overnight."

"Sorry if I analyze things in more depth and I don't take things as lightly as you, but it bothers me." Hiro let out with a hint of sarcasm.

"Don't you realize what an opportunity this is? Hiro do not ruin this for me, I'll never forgive you if you do."

"You would throw away our friendship over a music contract?" Hiro asked shocked, Shuichi looked at him intently, then looked away towards the window.

"Yes," he responded barely above a whisper. Hiro looked at his friend for a long time, Shuichi couldn't meet his eyes, he didn't regret what he said, not now, not when he had a little glimmer of hope to ever meet _him_. Hiro got up and left the room.

XXX

"Hi, I'm glad you could make it," Mikka kissed her future sister in law on both cheeks.

"Of course, I didn't know you were back, so how was your tour?" the other woman did the same and they both sat at the darkest most secluded table available at their favorite restaurant.

"About a week ago, I called you but you were on Vacation, so where did you go?"

"Oh my, news _does_ travel fast!" Mika Seguchi smiled, blushing lightly. "I went to Greece, and I had a blast."

"Did you go on your own?" Mikka asked already knowing the answer to that question. The marriage between Eiri's sister and Tohma Seguchi was the strangest one she's even seen, she was surprised they lived together at all.

"No I went with my lover." The older woman said shamelessly.

"Hey, you never know who's listening," Mikka warned, looking from side to side.

"So what if people find out? Is not like my husband doesn't know, feh, sometimes I think he hands pick them for me," Mika said, the hurt very apparent in her voice. "But enough about me, what's up with you?" she asked cheering up.

"Not much, I came back from my tour to find new crown kings at NG, a couple of little boys are all the rage now a days. Tohma took them under his wing and they're well on their way to become a phenomenon."

"You sound jealous."

"I'm not, I should be, but I have other things on my mind right now."

"Let me guess. Eiri?"

"I just don't get him, I mean, I'm back for over a week and he hasn't even been by the house. Sometimes I think he hates me." Mikka said, tears welling in her eyes.

"You know him better than anyone, if he hated you he wouldn't be with you, you know his way of showing love is rather… different, at least he doesn't stuff men down your throat to keep you away from him." Mika Seguchi kidded in an attempt to make her only female friend feel better.

"Anyhow, I have not seen him since I came back, he got mad at me for whatever reason and I have no idea why, please tell Tohma to talk to him." Mikka implored. Her future sister in law gave her a pained look and put her hand on hers.

"Have you thought about leaving him?" she asked after a little while.

"Never! I'd die without him!"

"Then maybe he knows that, and that's why he treats you the way he does. Mikka, don't let my brother take you for granted like he does everyone else. Teach him a lesson, trust me, if he cares about you he'll come back with his tail between his legs." Mikka looked at the love of her life's sister in shock, and although it seemed a bit cruel, she had a valid point. But… _What if Eiri didn't come back?_ The possibility was very tangible, at times it seemed that he was waiting for _her_ to end it. "I'll talk to Tohma," Mika Seguchi said seeing her friend's skepticism.

"Thank you,"

"Enough of these men! Lets have lunch I'm starving. I brought you the most gorgeous gown from Greece; you're coming to have dinner with us tonight, maybe I can get Tohma to call that knuckle head brother of mine…"

XXX

Yuki sat in front of the TV watching _Glaring Dream_ for the hundredth time, his face stood inches from the screen, drinking in every detail of the one who was responsible for his lack of sleep. The video ended and Yuki ran to his studio to continue, with his masterpiece. He'd been working on it since that first day he saw him over a week ago. He uncovered the oil painting and began where he left off. The body and the background were done; the wings needed a few final touches, but the face… the face laid untouched, a white patch of canvas that stared right at him. Yuki graced his fingertips ever so slowly along the long legs and torso without touching them, then he let his hand linger where the eyes should be…

"_Talk to me,"_ he whispered to the nameless angel of darkness who was plaguing his very existence with his light. A sound intruded on his senses and he turned sharply to the cell phone lying carelessly on his desk. He didn't feel like talking to anyone, but he'd been holed up long enough, if it was Tohma, no doubt he'd be by later, and if it was Mikka, she'd keep on calling until he picked up. Yuki walked to the desk, and grabbed the noisy object answering it curtly.

"What?" There was a pause on the other side, then a sight. "Thank goodness you're alright, you had me worried." Tohma's voice sounded truly relieved.

"Why wouldn't I be?" the mangaka asked grouchily, looking at the painting on its easel.

"I kept calling and calling, them your sister called me today to tell me that you and your significant other had a fight and that she hasn't seen you since." All this was said calmly and collectively.

"Whatever, what do you need?" Yuki asked already wanting to hang up.

"Don't miss me that much, I feel guilty to rob so much of your heart." Tohma returned with a dose of sarcasm of his own.

"I'm fine, if all you wanted to do was check on me, I'm alright, I have a lot of work and less that two weeks to finish it, so if that is all I'm hanging up."

"Eiri… can I come over?" Tohma asked lowly. Yuki looked at the painting once more and felt a tightening in his loin.

"Yeah," he responded simply and hanged up.

XXX

Seguchi Tohma stood behind a one-way glass room at the recording studio, watching his newest recruits rehearse the next single of their upcoming album "Gravity" He noticed some tension between the two band members, which he was more than a little glad for, he hated to admit it, but he, Tohma Seguchi, one of the most powerful men in Japan, was jealous of a little boy. That was the least of his concerns though, worst comes to worst and they decided that fame wasn't their "_thing_" he would not let Hiro go, he would support and work with him closely.

Tohma had heard the rumors going around and it surprised him that people could read him so easily. He considered himself a very private person who rarely if ever showed his true feelings… except to Eiri. But if he analyzed the whole situation from the start, it did seemed rather obvious that he favored Back Luck. He tried not to approach them too much or unnecessarily, but mainly because he couldn't bear it. His infatuation with Hiro had taken a very severe turn, and he could not possibly be in the same room with him for too long.

From the top!" Shuichi-kun yelled and they started the fast paced melody again. Tohma looked intently at Hiro's movements, he could not get enough of them, he literally saw them in his dreams. It had been six months since he took Bad Luck under his wing and he had yet to make any sort of insinuation to the man who was slowly turning his world upside down, he couldn't fathom these feelings-- he couldn't explain them, and that scared him more than anything. Tohma always needed to be in control, to know exactly where he was going. But all that had changed, and it was driving him insane. His desires were never that great to begin with—except years ago when he saw Eiri for the first time—but even back then it didn't feel like this. Sometimes he felt as though his skin burned, and it was always the same thought that was responsible for it… _Hiro_.

"_Why do I want you so?"_ Tohma whispered to the boy, _"Why can't I just have you like I have everything else I want?" _He closed his eyes and images invaded his mind. The phone rang and he looked at it, thankful for the intrusion. He picked it up and listened to his wife's bickering for a moment.

"Fine," was all he said after she was done and hanged up immediately dialing another number. Eiri answered after a few rings and Tohma felt so relieved to hear his voice. He needed him, now more than ever. After a short conversation, he took one last look at the cause of his distress and headed out to submerge himself in the arms of the one who understood him best.

XXX

A/N: There's a series of things I can point out being terribly wrong, like Tohma being a little too obsessed with Hiro. And what in the name of hell is wrong with the longhaired guitarist? I mean you got your fame, take it and shut up… why all the suspicion and antagonism for, can Tohma just be doing it for the goodness of his heart ? I tell you some people! throws arms up in the air

And Yuki… OMG talk about love at first sight! Ok, and it sounds to me like these Mikas are a little too in love with our studs… but as we all know, in this story, women are like a wagon's fifth wheel Poor things… they'll will come to learn though --

Next Stop: **Sleepless Beauty**. I see dead people… I mean there will be dead people, and more drama, and another unlikely lemon, and more obsess people of course… I'll leave you with that thought for now… muahahahaha.

XXX

**LadyInsomnia:** I'm glad I'm making you see the light. I always thought Tohma nd Hiro were made foe eachother

**MC-88:** Didn't I tell you I was gonna blow your brains out? and the next lemon is just as weird Eiri and Shu will ge their day in the sack... but not before I make Eiri pay for being such an ass. But fret not... when it comes it _**WILL**_ be awesome!!

**kurah:** I'm glad you're enjoying this little fic of mine... next chappy will be up next **Sunday **morning (don't tell anyone though )


	7. Sleepless Beauty

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga within this story. Many thanks to Ember, for her very insightful and speedy beta efforts. 

**NC-17** for language, Yaoi and sexual situations.

Chapter Six: Sleepless Beauty

That time of the month was upon them again and they were not ready- not by a long shot. The day before printing, Tokyo's highest skyscraper busied itself in preparation for "the visit." Every time, no matter how well they thought they did, it seemed they were never ready for him. This month was worse than ever, they were simply not ready. Yuki-sama had called a meeting the previous month, which he never showed up for or even called to cancel for that mater. In the hopes that the reason for his ulcers would grace them with his wisdom, Onizuka halted preparations for over a week- a week that cost them dearly.

The hall busied, and everyone ran around at the buzz that **_he_** was on his way up. They all gathered standing outside the elevator door, lining on either side of it, much like the Star Wars movie—they were waiting for _their_ Darth Vader. Yuki Eiri-sama exited the elevator, with his personal assistant on one side and his secretary on the other. Onizuka bowed, holding his handkerchief tightly—his old heart couldn't take much more of this, he was going to suffer a nervous breakdown any day now. Everyone else bowed as well, and without any acknowledgment, the tall handsome mangaka made his way to his office; followed by his top three man… _heads would most likely roll_.

On top of everything else Yuki-sama had been late with two of the mayor titles, but regardless of that he expected everything finished on time nonetheless. As the door to his office closed, the sighs and phews from his team of geniuses could be heard throughout the large office.

"He seems in a good mood today, ne?" The head inker whispered to the dialogue editor. On the once a month visit day, everyone involved with the projects was expected to be there.

"How can you tell? He always looks the same to me," the other man replied looking at the closed door, not envying Onizuka's position one bit.

"I don't know, but I think he is, didn't you see his eyes though, I bet he hasn't slept in days."

"Inspiration must be finally leaving him," the inker snickered.

"Yeah, like that would happen! man I tell you, if it wasn't for the pay, and the fact that people would kill to work for him, I don't think I'd be able to put up with the stress."

"Yeah, me too."

XX

Yuki-sama sat at his desk going through the pre-press pages that needed to be approved. _Déjà vu_. Every month it was the same, he would find a million things wrong, demand for them to be corrected, hold a meeting to tell the staff how incompetent they were, maybe even get rid of a couple of people, leave the scrip for the following month and then leave. He was acting very strangely, however, and seemed out of it. First of- Onizuka noticed, he looked as if he hadn't sleep in days, he browsed through the pages of _Kenshin_ and it was as though he was not seeing them at all. He even put on is sunglasses as soon as he sat at his desk—very strange for him to behave like this.

Yuki-sama put the book down and without any comment moved on to the next—_Weiss Kreuz_, one of their newest project, sort of a Charlie's Angels type story, but a lot more violent, gory, sexually oriented and with men as protagonists, the fist one of its kind for Yuki-sama.

Onizuka didn't know whether to ask, or just count his blessings and be quiet. He browsed through it in the same manner as with the other- a blank expression on his face. After the third book, he removed his sunglasses and Onizuka was shocked, his initial thought was seriously wrong, the man looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks, the black bags under his eyes were very pronounced, and with his pallid complexion, it made him look zombie like. None of the fierceness and coldness could be seen on his features. Onizuka knew the man preferred to work at night, but he'd never looked anything like this. Yuki-sama rubbed the bridge of his nose as if to release tension and looked up setting his deep gaze on him.

"Coffee?" The mangaka said barely above a whisper. Onizuka was already used to his tones and always ready to fly if possible to comply with his boss's requests, but even the usual sarcastic remarks were miraculously absent. The manager pressed a button and ordered the hot drink, taking it upon himself to ask for some aspirin as well. Then promptly getting ready for the storm to come. Yuki-sama sat back and put his hand under his chin—Onizuka waited.

"Onizuka?" the tall man said after a while and he almost jumped out of his skin.

"Yes Yuki-sama?" the nervous wreck asked hesitantly, wiping his forehead with his handkerchief.

"I need you to get something for me."

Onizuka bowed waiting for instruction, all the while wondering what was wrong with his boss. He never thought he would live to see the day he felt worried for the cruel and grumpy younger man.

"I need you to get me every music magazine you can find. I also need you to get a single called _Glaring Dream_, and if there is a DVD for it, get it as well. I don't know the name of the band who plays it, but it's been on TV enough, you shouldn't have a problem finding it." Onizuka listened to all this shocked. Not only didn't Yuki-sama say a word about the mangas, he was making such an unusual request.

"Yes Yuki-sama," was all he was able to say after taking notes. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, let me see my appointments for today and tomorrow."

"Yes, of course," Onizuka said still waiting for any comments on the mangas, but was afraid to ask. He needed them to be approved for printing. Onizuka stood waiting for more instructions while Yuki-sama looked over his appointments. The coffee came—thanks god—he was beginning to wonder what was taking so long. The new intern served it nervously and again Onizuka found himself waiting for some sort of lashing from the short tempered man… none came. On the contrary, he took the cup, drank a long gulp of the hot liquid, not taking his eyes off the small digital organizer.

"Thank you," he muted to the nervous secretary, who, more likely than not, had heard countless horror stories about the tyrant they all worked for. She bowed and exited swiftly. Yuki-sama lifted his head from the digital organizer and looked at him.

"Isn't there anything you need to do… like getting what I asked for? I'm expecting those things before I leave today."

Onizuka bowed again, took a deep breath and braved himself for the worst. "Err… Yuki-sama, how about the books?" Incredible that such a simple question could implicate so much.

"Those are fine," Yuki-sama responded absently dismissing him. Onizuka gathered them up, not able to wait and see everyone's faces when he showed them the miraculously uncorrected pages, and exited quickly before the golden tyrant changed his mind.

XXX

"Gentleman, have a seat," Tohma Seguchi greeted as the members of Bad Luck walked into his office. They were coming fresh out of rehearsal. He could still see the sweat glistering on Hiro's face, it literally made him shudder, and he had to revert his attention to a random object on his desk to stop the erotic images from flooding his mind. He waited for the two youths to be seated before seating himself. He opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a magazine, set it in front of them and waited for their reaction. Tohma never bothered to do this sort of thing for any other band, but lately he found himself looking for an excuse to summon his obsession to his office, silly of him to behave like a schoolboy.

"Oh my god, that's _Pop Beat_ magazine!" Shuichi exclaimed taking the magazine and staring at it. "We're on the cover," the young singer said barely above a whisper. Hiro took it from the hands of his band member and stared at it too, his reaction was nothing like Tohma expected or hoped from him, he seemed as if offended by it.

"The issue hits the stands tomorrow, and as you can see, you are already number one on the pop chart, with _Glaring Dream_," Tohma continued peeling his eyes off Hiro and watching Shuichi page to the charts.

"Oh my god! Hiro we're number one." The young singer awed again in the same disbelieving voice. Hiro took the magazine again and looked at it, showing a bit of emotion for the first time.

"You have done extremely well, I must congratulate you, and collect my bet wins from the people who doubted you." Tohma said once again directing his gaze at Hiro… _god how he wanted to touch him, to run his fingers through his hair and kiss the bridge of his nose, and…_

"I want to take you both out to celebrate." With this said Tohma pressed a button and Usagi came in a second later.

"Yes Seguchi-sama?"

"Is the reservation I asked for confirmed?"

"Yes Seguchi-sama, for nine o'clock this evening like you asked."

"Thank you Usagi-chan." The secretary bowed and left, and Tohma turned back to his guests. "I hope you don't mind. I picked the place, I hope you like American food."

"We couldn't impose Seguchi-sama," Hiro cut in before Shuichi could say something stupid.

"Nonsense, you have proven to be very profitable, it's the least I can do."

"Thank you Seguchi-sama," Shuichi got to his feet and bowed low, Hiro followed suit.

"Just be at the Hard Rock café at nine, you may bring whoever you wish." Tohma smiled and changed the subject to business as usual.

XXX

Onizuka came in the office with an array of cd's, dvd's and magazines. He didn't understand the strange request, but if it kept Eiri-sama off their backs-- god bless the media. He knocked, mainly to announce his return and let himself in. Yuki-sama was on the phone, and without missing a word of what the person on the other end of the line was saying, beckoned for Onizuka to come closer.

"I understand…" Yuki was saying, as Onizuka came closer. He set all the material down and Yuki eyed him dismissively, and then set his eyes on the neat pile on the desk.

"I'll call you back," he said to whomever he was talking to and hanged up. He took the first magazine and seemed to read the cover; he opened it and browsed through it stopping at a certain article. Onizuka noted his reactions carefully, noticing the deep eyes open a little wider as he looked over the pictures on the colorful page.

"Thank you Onizuka, you may go and continue with your work." Did Yuki-sama say 'thank you'? The overworked man could not believe his ears. The man bowed and exited quickly lest he make the man mad. He could not wait to tell everyone of this new development.

Yuki Eiri ran his fingertips over the glossy picture before him. It was not of his fallen angel, instead it was of a young boy, smiling and giving the thumbs up to the camera. He looked almost exquisite in his simple beauty. Yuki felt stuffed and unable to breathe as he stared at the well-defined torso under the semi transparent shirt he was wearing.

"Why are you making me feel like this?" Yuki whispered softly turning the page and looking at yet another too sexy to bear shot, a pull at his loin gave him a wicked desire to relieve himself of the mounting pressure. He hummed the song he already knew by heart focusing on the vivid violet eyes, then the lips, and the neck. A stronger pull and a certain part of his anatomy getting extremely tight in his pants followed. Yuki brought a hand to it absently, and begun rubbing it against it to relieve the rapidly building pressure.

"Why are you doing this?" he whispered closing his eyes and letting images flood his mind as he let the sensation his own hands were bringing take over all else. He rested his forehead on the desk and let a moan escape his lips; he wanted to call his name, his angel's name, and as he realized he didn't even know it, he shot his eyes open and sat up straight feeling disgusted with himself—he had never done such a thing, and to think that some little boy he didn't even know could make him do it was degrading. Eiri focused his eyes on the boy in the magazine again and a white flash of anger took a hold of him.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he yelled at the dark walls, then threw the pile of media flying through the air and watched them until they landed on the other side of the room. "This is fucking rich, I'm acting like I never did when I was sixteen!" He brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tightly, as if this would make him forget somehow, he lit a cigarette and sat back smoking it slowly trying to focus on something else… he could not. Again he focused on the discarded pile, letting his eyes fall on a DVD this time. Yuki got up, walked to it slowly, looked at it as if it were poisonous, battled with his inner self, then bent to pick it up when the battle of will was lost. He went to sit on the stuffed leather couch in his office- one he was sure he'd never occupied before- turned on the TV, set the DVD player and let the images fill his head. It was not the video he'd watched over and over, this time, it was some sort of interview, his eyes fell on the boy on the screen.

_"Hey everybody! I'm Shindou Shuichi and this knuckle head is Nakano Hiroshi, but you can call him Hiro."_ Yuki perked a brow, Shuichi… Shindou, for some reason that name sounded strangely familiar, but then again he'd heard so many names. He repeated it lowly, smirking at the sound of it in his own voice. He watched as the two boys gave a virtual tour of some sort around a recording studio, the whole thing looked homemade, but Yuki guessed that was what they were going for. Then the two stopped in front of a door and acted as if some big secret was behind it, the whole thing was rather humorous… and disturbingly sexy at the same time.

_"This is our boss' office,"_ Shuichi said barely above a whisper, then knocked, they waited a little while, and Yuki found himself waiting as well, wanting to know who was behind it. A puzzled Tohma opened the door and looked at the two… Tohma is their boss? _Nakano Hiroshi, but you can call him Hiro_— Shuichi's words came back to Yuki as if they were spoken just then. An evil smirk graced the mangaka's lips… so this is the infamous Hiro… _I'll be damned_.

He picked up the CD that lay carelessly on the floor, set it with the volume high and sat back on the couch to listen to the song that still gave him chills every time he heard it. At this point he didn't care anymore, he closed his eyes and along with the music he touched himself for the very first time.

XXX

"I can't believe it Hiro… we're number one!" Shuichi laughed like a schoolboy, still in complete shock. Who'd ever thought that the song he wrote for his love so long ago would ever wind up being the most played in the entire nation. Hiro just nodded as he stared out the window of their van.

"Don't you have anything to say?" Shu asked too happy to be concerned---_have you heard my song to you Eiri? _His mind asked as he stared at his own image, on the cover of Japan's most sold music magazine, and reading the big bold black letters spelling **"Bad Luck"**

"That I'm not buying it," Hiro articulated carefully, not to set off the over exited singer.

"Again with that Hiro?" Shuichi was tired and not at all in the mood to fight.

"I don't care what you say, I know Seguchi Tohma has some sort of ulterior motive, I just can't put my finger on it," Hiro begrudged.

"Everything is some big conspiracy to you Hiro, can't you be happy, can't you be satisfied?"

"Not like this, I'm not easily bought or fooled, until I find out what his true intentions are, I'm not going to fully enjoy any of this."

"Whatever man, its not like we're going to settle this, so, let's talk about the important matters at hand," Shuichi said grinning devilishly. Hiro frowned knowing too well what that meant. "So… are you talking somebody to diner?"

"Yeah…One of the twenty chicks I'm currently fucking. Why you ask, you know I don't have a girlfriend." Hiro answered sarcastically raising a brow.

"Well, you know… I might know of a certain someone who came home from Boston on a holiday brake." Shu said innocently.

"Maiko is home?" Hiro asked excitedly. He had had a crush on her for the longest.

"Yup, for a whole week, enough time for a stud like you to set the moves. Maybe now that you are famous she'll give you the time of day." Shu elbowed his old friend on the side.

"Wow I can't believe it! All right man, I'm asking her to come with. If having dinner at the Hard Rock Café with Seguchi Tohma, former member of Nittle Grasper and the hottest, most talented guitar player in Japan, don't turn her on, I don't know what will!" For the first time in months Hiro seemed like his old self. Shuichi was glad for it—he had no idea what the man saw in his sister, but if it made him feel happy, he would bless it any day. He was glad, that at least for a week Hiro would forget about his conspiracy theory.

XX

They reached Shuichi's parents house. They had not been there since Shu moved out to live with Hiro at the apartment NG leased for them. Maiko came running and hugged her older brother tightly.

"Let me see you, let me see you!" The over hyper girl shook Shuichi and then gave him a look over, "Oh my God, look at you, a Super Star! The first time I saw you in a mag I almost passed out!" Maiko squeaked. Then looked past her blushing brother and set her eyes on Hiroshi.

"Hey." The usually cool as cool can be guy said shyly.

"Hey Hiro, you look good." Maiko smiled, "I got about a hundred request for you to autograph!" She continued saying to Shuichi, saying nothing further to Hiro.

"Wait, are we famous in America too?" Shu could hardly keep his voice in check.

"There are a lot of Japanese girls in my class… you know, exchange student programs genius, you know you're not _that_ good."

"Whatever, like I'm doing you any favors for free… hundred bucks a pop!" Shu joked reminiscing old times, when he and Maiko would argue like little kids; he didn't realize how much he missed his fucked up sister until now.

"I'll sign them," interrupted Hiro.

"You are so nice Hiro-kun, unlike this leech over here." She hit Shu on the arm.

"Traitor!" Shu glared at his best friend.

"Hey you know we're going out to dinner tonight to celebrate our number one hit and very first magazine cover."

"No way!" Maiko gasped.

"Oh yes way, and here is proof, hits the stands tomorrow in the AM." Shu bragged proudly holding the pre press copy up for her to see, Maiko wasn't even listening to him anymore; as she snatched the magazine from his hand and paged through it.

"Can I keep it?" she begged.

"Hell no! Go buy it tomorrow like everyone else."

"So do you want to come to dinner with us?" Hiro interrupted not wanting to let the subject go.

"If I were you I start getting ready right now," Shu looked at his watch—it read 3pm—"The dinner is at nine, and we don't want to be late." Maiko punched Shuichi again and ran upstairs.

"So are you coming?" Hiro yelled after her.

"Of course… I'm going to get ready!" she yelled.

"You know, that was a joke," Shu stared stupefied after his crazy sister.

"You should know better man."

XXX

Yuki came in with the intent of gathering a few changes of clothes and get out before Mikka even saw him. But as he was met by her intense gaze as soon as he stepped foot in the house, he knew he was up to his head, would probably have to give her due as well.

"Hey," he greeted dryly—hopefully if she saw him in a bad mood, she'd leave him alone, that seldom worked, but it was worth the try.

"Where have you been Eiri?" Her voice told him that he might be looking at spending the night even—_damn._

"Working, not that it is of any relevance," Yuki responded as dryly as before.

"You mean to tell me that I can come and go for months at a time and not even offer an explanation?"

"Isn't that what you do?"

"I go on tour and you know it, I can't count the days to come back to you Eiri, you don't even leave the city but you avoid me as if I were the plague!"

"I am working as well, you know better than anyone that I cannot concentrate with you around."

"But must you leave for weeks on end? You don't even answer or return my calls."

"Dammit Mikka, what do you want from me?" Yuki asked irritated.

"What do I want from you? Eiri, we are engaged, you barely speak to me, I bet your staff gets better treatment!" Yuki was tired, frustrated and wanted nothing more than for the woman to shut up. He walked to her and kissed her roughly—that ought to shut her up—She promptly laced her arms around his neck and kissed back in full_… where was the argument, the reproach? It always ended up the same_. Yuki took her in his arms and without missing a step or a stroke to her tongue, went into their bedroom, throwing her on the bed roughly, running his hand all over her heated skin. Mikka let out a sigh of pleasure and he almost laughed out loud at how predictable she was, he ripped her clothes off and began to make his way down her body, hating every minute of it. She reached out and played with his hair and ears almost making Yuki lash a punch at her, he hated his ears being touched, almost as much as he hated having sex with her, but of course he would never tell her either. He reached her core and lapped at it with abandon, making her scream his name over and over, like a prayer--- _just as always_. His thoughts deviated from the annoying noise, and to a certain fallen black winged angel. He needed the thoughts in order to prepare his body and mind for the less than pleasurable act he was about to commit.

Mikka let out one last cry as her body convulsed with the waves of pleasure that coursed through her. Yuki positioned himself at her entrance as if her climax was his clue to end it, only to be pushed back on the bed and a greedy mouth covered his own. Soft feminine hands were all over his chest and abs, going lower and lower, finally taking a hold of his neglected sex.

"My turn," Mikka's husked whisper almost made him wince, as the realization of who exactly was above him hit home. Her hot mouth engulfed him hard and deep, he just wanted it to end so that he could get some clothes and go back to work. Mikka's head bobbed up and down and Yuki found himself counting to see how many strokes it would take to make him feel anything at all. His cell phone rang and he reverted his counting to the rings it took for whoever was calling to desist--although if it was Tohma-- Yuki sat up holding Mikka's chin, she looked up to him in disappointment, imploring with her eyes for him not to answer. He ignored this and took the phone from the forgotten pair of pants on the bed.

"Eiri here," he said dryly, watching Mikka giving him a mortified look.

"_Eiri,"_ The urgent voice of his sister exclaimed at the other end of the line.

"What is it Mika?" Yuki asked just as dryly, not caring about the urgency in her voice.

"_It's father… he died."_ The voice broke down and began crying. Yuki never thought this moment would ever come, or how he would react to it _"Tatsuha just called, I tried calling Tohma but I can't get through." _The wails were almost making her words slurred.

"Calm down, I'm coming over, we'll drive to Kyoto together, you can keep trying to contact Tohma from the car."

"_Ok,"_ a little voice that sounded much like a little girl's responded. Yuki hanged up and threw his phone on the bed; he didn't even know what to feel.

"Everything ok?" Mikka asked reminding him that she was even in the room.

"My father died," Yuki announced coldly. Mikka brought her hand to her face and gasped.

"Oh my god, when, how?" She asked in disbelief.

"I didn't ask, but I have go to Kyoto."

"I'll go with you!" Mikka exclaimed getting up. Yuki grabbed her by the wrist before she could get away.

"No, wait, that won't be necessary." He threw her down on the bed flat on her stomach and lifted her hips plunging himself deep within her and began thrusting hard… _Yuki Eiri was now in the mood._

_XXX_

**A/N**: I know you guys didn't think I was going to kill one of the main characters… or Mikka huh? That would have been too much of an easy way out for Yuki, who by the way is acting like an asshole (it gets worst in the next chappys) Anyhow I can see him changing for the better already though… I hope you guys too.

Next Stop: **Tearless**. We'll find out exactly what happened to Uesugi-san and also one of my favorite characters will come in the picture… don't miss it!

XX

MC-88: Oh yes shot through the heart is the right expression!! Let the SOB be the one who suffers for a change Anyways it won't be for the long though...so enjoy it while you can. Sorry to dissapoint you... about the lemon evades shoes thrown at herbut didn't I say there would be no more Yuki/Tohma action?

Kanasua-angst-angst-angst: Thank you, thank you! your coment made my day huggles **best writer** award You guys have to stop changing your pennames on me though. I'm old and feebleandI suffer from memory lapses

NightstarAngel: Thank you kisses best writer award I try to update once a week, so wait for them

TaraYuki-Uesugi: You are so seriously mistaken... Yuki is **MY** husband... you can get Ryu

Raven : Thanks a bunch. I'm a plot and detail freak!! I get really happy when its appriciated, but... If a do get a little too rambly you will let me know right?

Boy I miss my feedback from **Lady Insomnia**.. LADY,WHERE ARE THOU!?

I hope you all had a great holiday with your family and love ones, me... huggles Sesshoumaru sama action figure an Vincent Valentine resin statue Santa left under my tree I had a very good holidays.


	8. Tearless

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga within this story. Many thanks to **Ember**, for her very insightful and speedy beta efforts. 

**R**for language, Yaoi and sexual situations.

Chapter Seven: **Tearless**

"Whatever you do, don't embarrass me in front of my boss." Shuichi warned Maiko as they waited for the Maitre d' to attend them.

"May I help you? As if on cue the man raised his gaze to them, eyeing the two pop stars up and down, making them feel painfully underdressed.

"Yes, Seguchi Tohma should be expecting us. My name is Shindou Shuichi, and this is Nakano Hiroshi and a guest." Shu said with confidence, the man looked at them, then turned to his list, opening his eyes a little wider upon finding the mentioned names there.

"This way please." The man's disposition immediately changed. They walked through the expensive and trendy restaurant. Shuichi spied a few celebrities he could recognize, his inner self jumped with joy and excitement. His outer self, however, remained cool and collected. He rolled his eyes as he heard the little gasps that escaped his sister's lips. They were taken to the furthest end of the place and up a set of stairs, to an even more elegant and lavish setting.

"This way please," the Maitre d' said gesturing for them to follow. Maiko gasped again at the same time their producer and boss Seguchi Tohma came into view.

"Right on time." The agreeable, and fashionably dressed man smiled at them. He was by far the coolest person Shuichi knew or ever hoped to know. He wanted to steal a glance at Hiro so badly, his dumb friend always seemed to blush upon seeing Seguchi-san, and as much as he fought it and proclaimed the man to be evil, Shuichi knew better, he himself was on the same boat with a certain blond haired mangaka.

'Hiro-kun!" Seguchi-san began, and this time Shu did steal a glance at his friend-- who was, of course, blushing hopelessly. Upon closer inspection, Shu realized Maiko was holding Hiro's hand. " I didn't know you had such a beautiful girlfriend stashed away? Although if I had such a pretty flower I would hide her as well," the man said tightly, ignoring the lead singer altogether. Shuichi wasn't sure whether that comment was supposed to be a compliment or not.

"Seguchi-sama, Maiko is, well…" Hiro began nervously.

"Shindou Maiko." Maiko introduced herself bowing low- Shuichi only prayed she'd behave. "I wanted to thank you for all you've done for my brother and boyfriend," She bowed low again and Shu almost laughed out loud as Hiro's shocked up cough made its way to his ears.

"Ah! You are Shuichi-kun's sister…what a small world we live in, ne?" For some reason that comment didn't sound as warm as it was intended to be, Seguchi-san even looked a little scary for a second. "But please let's sit, what are we all doing still standing?" He continued, returning to his usual cheery self.

The waiter who still lingered set the menus in front of them, and bowed. "Anything to drink for our guest?" He turned to Maiko first of course.

"Midori Sour," she immediately said without even glancing at the menu. Shu could tell he wouldn't be able to enjoy the dinner affair with her here-- their mother always told them never to order expensive things when someone else was paying. He rolled his eyes trying his best to ignore his obnoxious sibling, and glanced at the menu, keeping an eye on Hiro, poor guy looked like he was having a worst time than he… _why_? The fact that Maiko called him her 'boyfriend' should have made him happy --- happy!

"Ah that's my favorite drink!" Seguchi-san chirped, "I'll have one as well."

"I'll just get a coke." Hiro said politely.

"Designated driver?" Seguchi-san asked warmly.

"A coke?" Maiko raised a brow, rudely cutting off Tohma. "You're celebrating your first number one single ever, and you're drinking Coke?"

"You know I don't drink honey," he smiled, playing along the charade… _smooth Hiro-kun._ Shuichi thought smiling.

"But, we're celebrating."

"I'll have a Coke too," interrupted the forgotten lead singer. Maiko looked at them with a puzzled look on her face but said nothing else.

"You can have whatever you like." Seguchi-san said, referring to what he told them before at the studio.

"Seguchi-sama, I am the biggest fan of yours!" Maiko began before Shuichi or Hiro could say anything. "I mean of Grasper. Oh my God! I think I cried when I heard about the break up." Shuichi wanted to dig a hole and bury himself in it. In all the months he'd had the good fortune to be in contact with one of Japan's biggest celebrities, he had not once mentioned Nittle Grasper to him. He had wanted to, Oh god, how he had wanted to! Almost to an unbearable urge to be disrespectful, but he had not. "My brother used to dress up like you and Sakuma-san and sing and dance in front of the mirror for hours." Hiro gave a loud laugh—of course Shu had never told his long time buddy about that embarrassing part of his life—He wanted to grab Maiko by the neck and wring it until the bones popped.

"Maiko… Seguchi-san doesn't want to hear what I did as a child!" Shu begged for a miracle. Maybe Seguchi-san wasn't paying attention; maybe he suffered from short-term memory… maybe…

"Nonsense, of course I want to hear it, what did Hiro-kun did as a child?" Seguchi Tohma smiled naturally again. Hiro looked at Shu, with a scared look on his face…_ why the hell did they bring Maiko? _

"We met when he was 13, he used to dress like a vampire and chase every big breasted girl at school."

"Maiko-chan!" Hiro gasped.

"Big breasted huh?" Seguchi-san repeated with a half smirk. The drinks arrived and Shu wanted to grab his Coke and dump it on Maiko's head, and by the looks of it Hiro wanted to do the same.

"I know what I want to order," Seguchi-san mercifully changed the subject. The waiter who remained lingering took his order pad and came closer to the table "Fillet Mignion and American style French fries, I love those fatty and salty things" He smiled at them.

"They are the best!" Maiko once again opened her yap. "I eat McDonalds all the time, when I come back to Japan, that's what I'm going to miss the most, the fast food joints… Wendy's, Taco Bell, they're the best! Its not the same here."

"Are you schooling abroad?" Tohma asked, leaning forward in his seat and arching a brow, as if this interested him very much.

"Yes, I'm going to Harvard University in America."

"Very impressive," Tohma-san smiled. "_Do you speak English?"_ He asked perfectly in the said language… was there anything this man couldn't do?

"_Of course I been studying it since I was nine, the whole reason I went to America was so that I could practice it." _Maiko responded in the language, Shu could only hope she was not saying something idiotic.

"_How long have you and Hiro-kun been together?"_ Shu heard Hiro… Seguchi was asking something about Hiro; he glanced at his friend's pallid face compassionately.

"_About three years," _What the hell were they talking about? Shu was almost to the point of pulling his hair.

"That's so nice, that you know each other for so long, very important in relationships… am I prying too much Maiko-san?" Did he call her Miko-**san**? That's gonna go right to her head—thought Shuichi, as frustration was taking a whole new meaning.

"Oh of course not! Seguchi-san, you are doing so much for them. When we get married I'll make you Hiro's best man instead of my knuckle head brother." Seguchi-san gave a short laugh, one that people usually give when they were laughing at a joke that was not funny at all.

"I'll have the Caesar salad, and also braised chicken with French fries as well." Hiro interrupted in the hopes to shut Maiko up.

"Yeah, me too." Shuichi cut in, he hadn't even looked at the menu, he only wanted to change the subject very badly.

"What no steak Shu? I always thought you were like a lion - the redder the meat the better."

"I don't want steak, Maiko" Shuichi articulated tightly.

"Have it, this place is the best for it, believe me I have tried everywhere else," Seguchi sided with Maiko. "Do it as a favor to me, you can eat chicken everyday, besides this is a special occasion… _Nittle Grasper's genius keyboardist_." Maiko almost spit out her drink as she laughed loudly. Shu's face got so red, that he would have put a tomato to shame. "About you Hiro-kun, have a steak."

"Well… Ok," Hiro responded shyly looking away.

"Hiro doesn't eat red meat." Maiko said matter-of-factly. "He insists on not eating those poor defenseless animals who are brutally slaughtered, as if fish and chicken are not slaughtered." Hiro, for the first time ever gave Maiko a hateful stare.

"Oh. My apologies," murmured an embarrassed Tohma.

"Please, not at all, you have to excuse my "girlfriend" she doesn't get out much" Hiro mumbled tightly, still glaring daggers at her.

The food was brought and the conversation seemed to have deviated to their music—thanks god—Seguchi-san spoke of future projects, TV appearances, mini tours, the works. When he spoke business, Tohma Seguchi was a totally different person. Shuichi also noticed that every so often their boss would look at Hiro with strange glassy eyes, and at Maiko, with even stranger ones. He himself almost seemed nonexistent. Not that he minded at all, Shuichi hated to be the spotlight of any conversation, especially one his sister was participating in. A phone rang, and Seguchi-san excused himself, taking it out from within his jacket and answering it.

"Eiri?" He said immediately, apparently knowing whom it was. Upon hearing the name, Shu's heart skipped a beat…_could it be?_ Nah, it would be too much of a coincidence. Seguchi Tohma listened for a moment, then his face changed dramatically.

"Hold on," he said and looked up to them.

"If you'll excuse me, its a personal call." Then he got up and walked a few paces away from them to continue his conversation. Hiro looked intently as if trying to decipher what was being said. Maiko ate her food as if nothing was happening, and Shu was reminded of his god so couldn't care less of what was going on. A moment later he came back with a darkened and somber expression.

"I very regretfully have to cut our evening short," he said tonelessly. "Please do enjoy yourselves, and again congratulations on a job well done." He smiled bitterly and signaled for the waiter to come.

"Is everything alright Seguchi-sama?" asked Hiro, looking very much concerned. It was very strange for him to pry into other peoples business. Seguchi Tohma looked as if he wanted to give him a hug, but gave a little bitter smile instead.

"My best friend and wife's father just passed." The waiter came and Tohma reverted his attention to him. "These gentleman and lady are my very important guests, see to that they get everything they might want." He pulled a credit card out of his wallet, handed it to the waiter and walked away.

"Seguchi-sama!" Hiro called standing from his chair, the man turned, "I am very sorry about your loss." He looked at Hiro for full thirty seconds, then smiled and walked away.

"I didn't know he was married, did you?" Maiko said absently, reassuming her meal. Shuichi looked at her disgustedly and Hiro just sat and stared ahead. "What? You don't expect me to feel sorry for him, I don't even know him." Maiko looked from one disapproving male to the other.

"You know, sometimes I wish god would have given you more of a brain, how tactless can you be?" Shu accused.

"You guys are too much!" Hiro snapped and left, leaving the siblings to bicker over their pettiness.

XXX

"What happened?" Tohma asked as he walked into the family room of the Uesugi shrine. Eiri's mother cried on Mika's shoulder, Eiri stood leaning against the furthest window and Tatsuha knelt on the floor with his head in his hands.

"He had a heart attack when he found Tatsuha fucking a man." Eiri said tactlessly. The Uesugi threesome's mother cried louder and Mika shot a glare at her cold brother, while Tatsuha remained immobile.

"Eiri!" Mika admonished sternly.

"It's the truth," the cruel mangaka responded coldly. Tohma didn't know what to say, he knew about Tatsuha's less than adequate choice of partners, but he never thought he would be stupid enough to get caught, and by his father no less. He turned his tired gaze to the teenager, feeling a bit sorry for him, true, he didn't always like the libertine boy, but surely no one would hold him accountable for the death of his father. As if on cue Uesugi-san screamed at the boy.

"Get out! Get out of my house, murderer!" Tatsuha lifted his head; tears stained his usually cheerful face, guilt and pain written all over it.

"Mother…" Tatsuha reach out to her.

"Get out!" The woman screamed again, Tohma had to look the other way, not able to take in Tatsuha's pained expression.

"Why are you so surprised brother?" Eiri said with a hint of sarcasm. "They had you to replace me. I wonder if she'll do the same now." The older woman shot a tearful glare at her older son, dropping her eyes as his cold and accusing stare penetrated her very soul.

"Eiri!" Mika snapped angry, hugging their mother tightly.

"What?" Yuki smirked. "Are you going to tell me that I'm lying? I owe nothing to this family, I can say what I please." He turned to Tatsuha, who was just staring at the floor in disbelief. "If it makes you feel any better I fuck men too." Both Tatsuha and Mika turned to him as one, and Tohma just shook his head. "But since I'm not the graced son, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Eiri continued with his cruel lashing.

"Eiri, stop it!" Tohma begged unable to take it anymore, he knew Eiri's real feelings about the whole situation and as tough as a front he was putting up now, he knew he was hurting as well. Mika began crying along with their mother and Tatsuha stared at his older brother mortified.

"Fine," Yuki relented. "Who's taking care of the burial?"

"I don't want either of you to do it," Uesugi-san let out in a small voice.

"Don't worry… mother, I have no intention in dirtying my hands with either one of you."

"I will." Tohma intervened before Eiri could do anymore damage.

"Fine," Yuki snapped again, pulling himself from the wall he leaned on, and walking towards the door. He passed his mother, giving her a cold merciless look. "Tatsuha, get your things ready, you're coming with me," he said dismissively as he walked passed the. teen.

"But…"

"You heard her, she wants you out, and I will not offer again." Tatsuha looked at Tohma who nodded silently, and the youth rose and followed without looking back."

XX

"Isn't Mikka-san going to be mad?" Tatsuha asked trying to start a conversation with his older brother as they rode the snowy streets of Japan.

"What for?" Eiri said dryly.

"Y'know, you're bringing me to live with you and all… without asking her."

"Who said anything about you living with me, I'm keeping you while your mother cools off." The young monk looked down disappointed, it _had_ been too good to be true.

"She's your mother too." Tatsuha pouted.

"She stopped being my mother the day she conceived you." Yuki responded with no regards toward his younger brother.

"You resent them that much?"

"To resent someone would take to have feelings toward them… I don't."

"But you…"

"Enough of this senseless talk, if you don't shut up I'm turning this car around." This was said without looking at the passenger. Yuki took a cigarette and lit it without missing a turn. They rode in silence the rest of the way, each with their own dark thoughts. Once at the elegant penthouse of one of Tokyo's most expensive buildings—where Yuki Eiri lived along with Mikka—Tatsuha couldn't help but to forget his tragedy and guilt, and be awed by his surroundings. He'd never been to Eiri's home before. He barely knew him, or the woman he'd been engaged with, like…forever.

"Is it true what you said?" he asked remembering the shocking confession.

"About?" Eiri asked setting his keys down and lighting another cigarette—the man could smoke like a chimney—A maid came in to take their coats, "Bring me a beer, is Mikka home?"

"Yes sir, and no sir, Costa-san isn't back yet." The woman replied, bowed and went to do what she was told.

"Y'know… about… what you said, at the house." Tatsuha lowered his face, too embarrassed to just blurt it out.

"About me fucking men? Why would I lie, certainly not to protect you?" The teens face got redder; he couldn't even begin to imagine his high and mighty brother, plugging or being plugged by a guy, the desire to know who his partners had been made Tatsuha forget all about his dilemma. "Listen, here's the rules." Eiri changed the subject as if they had been talking about the whether. The maid came back with the beer and a cup of cocoa for the younger Uesugi, which he took gratefully. Yuki opened the can took a big gulp of it and continued. "Stay away from me, from my studio, and my imported beer." And with that he began to walk away.

"What about Mikka-san," Tatsuha slapped himself inwardly for being such a moron, but his sharp tongue was more often than not faster than his brain. Eiri perked a brow.

"Giving your sexual preference, I doubt I'll have to worry about that. In any event, you're welcome to try." And with those astounding words the blond mangaka left, leaving his guest alone in the room. Tatsuha threw himself on the couch and looked intently at the patterns on the ceiling, he sighed loudly. He wanted to be sad over the loss of his father, he wanted to feel guilty, but he found that he could not. He wasn't the biggest fan of the old man either, plus, finding out about his godly brother's "earthly" habits, and the prospect of spending some time in Tokyo was just too exiting.

…_Wait for me Ryuichi… I'm coming to get you…_

XXX 

A/N: Whaaaaaaaa Yuki is gay!? And I didn't know about it, how could he tell Tatsu-kun before he told me o

Well, well, well… more people to the equation eh? I wonder what role will Tatsuha play in future chapters… if he's around that means that a certain someone else will be around as well… OMG this is getting to complicated pulling hair frustratingly

Next Stop: **Seven Days **Tohma comes back from Kyoto to find a few complications with one his "boys" and yet another twist and turn in the path of Bad Luck's future… don't miss it!

To answer the universal question… When is there going to be Yuki/Shu action? I have this to say rubs her crystal ball Two chaps, the next one and one more (hopefully I don't feel the need to blabber some more or to add another turn to the plot) Is highly unlikely though, my hentai heart is demanding a hot lemon with the asshole writer and our boy as well

XXX HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE XXX

**Twilight347** I try to update every Sunday or Monday... so be alert, If you want me to ad you to my update list email me 

**MC-88**: Oooh Yuki was naughty...Don't make too much of Maiko and HIro, you'll see next chappy. Anyways I'm not killing Mikka (you're evil ) And to answeryour question... as soon as Yuki/Shu meet there will be hot sex (Yes! Yes! yes!) willthat last...is anotherquestion altogether,mwahahahahaha!!

**Raven** : I know... that_** IS**_ sexy >. I just think that Yuki tortures Mikka for sport... we'll see though, we'll see.


	9. Seven Days

**Disclaimer**; I do not own Gravitation or any anime/mange within this story

**NC-17** for adult content and Yaoi

Many thanks to **Deformography** for her speedy beta efforts.

**Chapter Eight: Seven Days**

Mikka woke up alone in her bed; a scenario that seemed to be occurring more and more often. It didn't even seem like she had a fiancé anymore. She knew Eiri was back; he had called from the road telling her that he was coming the night before, and, of course, stupid she had waited up all night to see if her prince charming needed her comfort. …_Of course he did not._

She got up and walked to the window, setting her eyes on the busy city below. How she whished to be one of those normal people who had happy relationships and could just wander the streets without having to worry about paparazzi stalkers, and those who simply wanted to know when she'd finally get married.

Mikka went to her bathroom, showered and dressed, feeling quite relieved that she'd told both her manager and personal assistant to take the day off. And although it didn't seem like she was going to be spending any time with Eiri as she had planned, she could at least get some things done, or just be alone without all of those people who always surrounded her, and be able to mind her own business for a change. She considered calling Mika to comfort her about her loss; hopefully her old friend needed a shoulder to cry on, unlike her cold brother.

She made her way to the room Eiri used as a studio when he couldn't get to his apartment, and although he hardly spent any time there, she was hopeful that he'd at least stayed around long enough for them to cross a few words. While on her way to the room, she heard a loud laughter--male laughter, and got excited to think that Eiri was actually laughing at something, though highly unlikely. Hurrying to the source of the sound, She sighed disappointedly as she found it was only Eiri's younger brother Tatsuha, lying on the couch watching and laughing like a little boy at an American episode of _Friends_.

"Tatsuha?" Mikka let out, and immediately the boy got to his feet and bowed.

"Mikka-san," he gasped, "I… I mean, Eiri brought me to stay over, we…I mean, I got in trouble with my mother." The younger, black haired spitting image of Eiri explained shyly, bowing even lower.

"Aren't you acting bit too easy going for someone who just lost his father?" Mikka asked perking a brow, thinking about how lucky she was that she didn't leave her room wearing lingerie…or worse.

"I'm not sad, if that's what you mean. I'm sorry it happened the way it did, but I'm not sad." Tatsuha replied, getting serious.

"Do any of you Uesugi have love for anyone other than yourselves?" Mikka snapped, going to the studio and knocking on the door loudly. To her surprise, the door opened and a disheveled Yuki peered from the door, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Oh, you're here," Mikka said, the surprise evident in her voice.

"You were knocking on _my_ door. Who did you expect?" Eiri shifted his gaze to Tatsuha, who was standing a few paces behind. "Was he bothering you?" He asked dryly pointing his chin to his younger brother.

"No, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm alright." And the door closed.

"Are you mad because I'm here, Mikka-san?" Tatsuha asked after he saw Japan's hottest pop star had no intention of moving from the spot she stood, staring at the closed door.

"No, of course not." She replied, barely able to keep the sadness from her voice. She let out a heavy sigh, went back to her room, threw herself on the bed, and cried her heart out.

XXX

Seven days passed before Seguchi Tohma was to return to Tokyo, in which time Bad Luck did a series of radio interviews and record store appearances. They were a bonafied hit. In every signing session, there were tens of hundreds of fanatic screaming girls. In every interview, the main focus of the questions was about their love lives.

Hiro had wanted this with all his being, but for some reason, all of this attention left an empty and bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe he was being over analytical and a psycho, but this wasn't what he had dreamed of. There was a bad feeling in the bottom of his gut that would not shake, no matter how positive he tried to see things. Every time he tried to talk to Shuichi about it, his long time friend would get mad and start an argument making the drift that had inevitably come between them bigger. Hiro stole a glance at the said friend, who sat back on a chair staring intently at the ceiling, pen in hand.

"Ne, so… what happened with Maiko last night? She said you guys were going on a date." Shuichi shifted his eyes from the ceiling to Hiro, with a very perverted expression on his face.

"Nothing, really. She's not the Maiko I remember." Hiro replied calmly.

"That's it? You've been in love with her since you moved next door to us, and all you have to say is _"she's not the Maiko I remember!_"Wait, are you thinking that she might be involved in Tohma-san's evil plot, too?" Shu laughed wholeheartedly.

"That's not funny man! Your sister is just as obnoxious as you, if not more. I can only take one of you at a time!"

Alright, alright, I was only joking!" Shu feigned hurt, "C'mon man, give me some ideas!" Shu begged, changing the subject—Sakano-san had come up with the genius idea to have Shuichi take two hours daily to write new songs.

"I'm not a song writer." Hiro replied nonchalantly, as he polished his guitar.

"Aw man, what good are you?" The singer pouted as he blew a loose strand of hair off his face, and reassumed his ceiling observation.

"I don't see what's wrong with using the songs we already have." Hiro added, matter-of-factly.

"Sakano-san doesn't want anything that's been heard before; Glaring Dream was the one and only exception because I bitched so much about it." Shu responded, hitting his head with the pen.

"Why? I don't see the reason to go to such measures… unless of course they think our material sucks?"

"I don't know. I'm sure Sakano-san would have told us if that were the case."

"So, you just do what you're told without asking for a reason?" Hiro accused, anger starting to take a hold of him, as it did every time they discussed this.

"Yes…so…" Shu got annoyed as well. "So what? They know what's best for our career, maybe you should try and put a little trust in them too."

"Whatever man, I'm not a sell out." Hiro's voice elevated to an angry, sarcastic half yell.

"Sell out? Don't make me fucking laugh! What do you know? You're so wrapped up in your own little conspiracy world that you can't even see what's going on around you. We wanted this, we strived for it! So live it, or shut the fuck up so that I can!" Shuichi's face was red with rage.

"Fine, if you fucking want to live being Seguchi's lap dog with no voice or opinion, until he finally gets tired of you, be my fucking guest…I'm out!" Hiro turned to leave, but the dark gaze of the one standing at the door stopped him dead in his tracks.

Shuichi's eyes went wide with shock, then fear; he'd never seen Seguchi Tohma look so dark and angry. Hiro just stood in silence, as if the man's very gaze held him in place.

"Shuichi-kun," Tohma snapped not looking at the singer, and Shu couldn't find it in himself to move faster. Tohma moved out of the way for Shuichi to leave, and then closed the door, peeling his eyes off Hiro. He walked to the piano at the center of the room and sat on the chair previously occupied by Shuichi. The former keyboard player of Nittle Gasper closed his eyes and began playing.

The sad song penetrated Hiro's bones, and literally gave him chills. It made his body sway with every change of melody, like a sunflower seeking the sunlight. It was as if the music was telling him what Seguchi Tohma would not. The song ended and there was an interminable silence. Hiro stood rigid and when Tohma finally opened his eyes and set them on him, it was as if someone had dealt him a terrible blow.

"I have to play to release my anger, otherwise I might say something I will regret." Tohma's expression was once again his serene façade.

"You can say what you like, I'd probably deserve it." Hiro responded, lowering his face, unable to meet the older man's eyes.

"Tell me… what have I done wrong…how have I mistreated you in any way?" The calm and toneless voice was worse than anything. Hiro kept his eyes fixed on the floor, unable to find a straight answer to that question.

"Say something!" Tohma Seguchi roared, slamming his palms on the piano. Hiro's heart jumped at the hollow noise, but he stood impassive. "If there is one thing I hate, it's people who cannot stand by their own words!" Tohma walked to where Hiro was standing and put both hands on either side of Hiro's face, holding it tightly and bringing it up to meet his own. He looked into the longhaired man's eyes intently, as if fighting an inner battle that he could not lose. "How have I made you feel like a lap dog?" Their faces were so close that their lips almost touched, the music mogul stared into Hiro's eyes as he fought to keep his voice and body in check. The violent desire to cover those lips, even after uttering those cruel words, was threatening to overpower Tohma.

Hiro fought to keep his cool, Seguchi's hands on either side of his face felt like molten lava, burning him; they were so close that he could feel his hot breath…_why did he care so much what the man thought? Why couldn't he say what he feels? Why couldn't he question the man's integrity? _Slowly, Hiro brought his hands and took the man's wrist, pulling the burning digits and lowering them-- he did not let go, however. They stood facing each other, as if waiting for the other to falter.

"I… I feel that things are going too fast, and that there is no reason for you to go through such lengths for us," Hiro began lowly, "I, I'm new at this, and I can't adjust to it as easily as Shuichi." He realized that he still held Tohma's wrists. With a deep blush he let go and bowed low in apology. Tohma blushed as well and gave a little whimper; he looked at his wrists as if they were on fire, and then looked up to meet Hiro's eyes once more.

"I will never get tired of you." The words were said barely above a whisper, and then, as if catching himself added, "Of either one of you." He skeptically touched the side of Hiro's face, "Don't say those things ever again," then Tohma ran his fingertips delicately down Hiro's cheek, to his chin and brought the pained face to meet his own once more, "Don't ever say you'll leave again." The imploration and urgency in Tohma's voice brought sensations Hiro had never felt before. The eroticism in the man's manner, the depth of his eyes, the timber of his voice stroked places Hiro didn't know existed… _what was this feeling? _

Slowly, as if painfully, Seguchi Tohma dropped his hands from Hiro and left as silently as he came. The door opened and closed, loud steps faded away, and still, Hiro stood in the same spot he'd been left like a lost child, his face burning, his heart aching… and he didn't even know why.

XXX

Tohma ran into his office, locking the door behind himself. He grabbed a throw pillow from his overstuffed sofa and hit it with his fist over and over, then brought it to his face and roared into it until his throat was raw. The tears streamed down his face and he couldn't stop them. Realization hit him like a brick wall falling over him; it was not infatuation what he felt for Hiro… _it was love_.

Hiro's words still stabbed at him like a knife… _Seguchi's lap dog_… It hurt, oh god how it hurt.

Tohma calmed and collected himself, replaying all those months and analyzing what he could have done wrong. He would not be denied, could not. If necessary he would play dirty to get what he wanted. He had tried the honest approach, he had tried to win Hiro by doing right by him, but apparently that had not been enough. In the meantime he'd distance himself from Hiro; at least until he could face him and act rationally without seeming to melt in his presence. Also, Hiro needed to be taught a lesson. Tohma got up and went to his desk; pulling his digital organizer from the drawer, he looked for a number he hadn't dialed in a long time.

XXX

Shuichi came running after he saw that Tohma was well out of sight. He found Hiro just standing there like a mannequin staring at the floor as if it held some ancient secret it refused to yield.

"What happened?" He asked, shaking Hiro out of his thoughts. "C'mon man, don't do this to me… what happened?" Shuichi's face didn't seem his own. Hiro brought his dark eyes to look into the lavender inquisitive ones of the friend he almost let down. There was real fear in them. Hiro hadn't realized or wanted to acknowledge how much all this meant to Shuichi… his only friend. Painfully, he realized that thanks to his own blind selfishness, they almost lost everything that was important.

"Nothing…don't worry, we didn't get kicked out of the label." Hiro said, watching Shuichi's expression take a dramatic change.

"So, what did he say? I hope he put you in your place for being such an asshole," Shuichi joked to lighten the mood. Hiro didn't find it funny at all, but had to admire the younger man for trying so hard to stay positive. He grabbed his forgotten guitar and put it in its case. "Are you going to tell me what Seguchi-san said?" There was only silence on Hiro's part. "Fine, be like that!" Shuichi threw his hands up in the air returning to his worry free obnoxious self.

"I know why he's doing so much for us." Hiro announced tonelessly.

"Did he tell you?"

"No… he didn't need to."

"Why?"

"I have to be sure," Hiro replied, taking his guitar and getting ready to leave.

"Hiro, do you like him?" The question was asked as naturally as if asking about the weather. Hiro stopped in shock… _could it be that Shuichi realized something he, himself did not?_

"Of course not… what are you saying you idiot!?" Hiro's face felt hot.

"Hiro, it's alright if you do." Shu continued pressing his buttons.

"I said no… I'm not gay." The conviction in those words was simply not there.

"So what if you were? Love does not discriminate; the heart doesn't care whether they're a man or a woman." How ironic that the usually self centered and obnoxious knucklehead would be giving _him_ love advice. Hiro looked at Shuichi for a few seconds and walked away without saying another word.

"Hiro… the day you let go of your pride and inhibitions and admit what you really feel… the better off you'll be."

"I… I don't like him, I think he likes me." Hiro confessed immediately regretting it. He hadn't meant to reveal his suspicions to anyone, especially Shuichi… _damn his shallow pride!_

Shu looked at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing, confusing the hell out of his longhaired friend. "Don't be pretentious, dude!" The moment of deep sharing was gone and Shu was once again his loud mouthed self, "If Seguchi-san, for some miracle of nature were to be into dudes, I'm sure he'd fall for someone like Ryuichi Sakuma or Yuki Eiri… but you? C'mon man, let's get real!" Hiro rolled his eyes, cracking a smile as well-- Shuichi always knew how to get him off his dark moods. Hiro rolled his eyes again and walked to the door. Shu came running behind. "C'mon man, it was a joke! You're a stud like the best of them. If I weren't in love already, I would fall head over heels for you too" Hiro kept on walking, more embarrassed than annoyed, "Hiro… c'mon man, don't go! I have to turn in a song by tomorrow… I need your help!" Shu begged half jokingly.

"Good luck with that." Hiro joked back waving a hand and giving his friend a mocking smirk.

XXX

As soon as they set foot in the studio the next day, Tohma Seguchi summoned them. As they stood outside his office, Shuichi turned to Hiro. "It better be something good. If I get in trouble because of your mouth, I'm kicking your ass so hard…"

"Shut up! Did you write the song you were supposed to?" Shuichi turned to Hiro with watery eyes and shook his head. Shu was painfully reminded of the hell he'd gone through the night before to produce a half decent song with no success. Hiro gave him a wink and knocked. The door was immediately opened by a very agitated looking Sakano-san.

"Good morning." Tohma Seguchi greeted gleefully as always and signaled to the chairs for them to sit. "I have wonderful news for you both." He smiled wider, almost maliciously, "As of tomorrow, Bad Luck will have a new member." Both Hiro and Shuichi stood as one, eyes bulging open.

"What!" Shuichi yelled first, somewhere in the background Sakano-san whimpered and there was a gasp from Usagi who had never heard anyone talk to Seguchi-san that way. "Bad Luck is just me and Hiro, always been always will be. We don't need another member to…to do what? Catch the groupie's panties that are hurled to the stage?" Tohma's face remained calmed and collected; these kinds of situations were his specialty.

"I understand your feelings, and believe me, I thought this long and hard and trust me when I tell you it's for the good of the band." Tohma began calmly.

"How is it good, why? Aren't we good enough!" Shuichi was yelling now, Hiro put a hand on his shoulder to clam him down. It didn't help that NG's president seemed to be very much enjoying the show.

"May I remind you that you are under contract with my company and I get to make these kinds of decisions on your behalf," Shuichi's face changed from anger to shock… _so this is the cruel world of show business? _"You can rant and scream all you like, the decision has already been made. I am merely letting you know."Shu let himself fall on the chair and stared ahead. Hiro looked at Tohma with all the contempt he could muster, but the man seemed unaffected.

"That is all, gentlemen." Tohma said after allowing them to absorb the news, "Try to get along and do your best." And the trademark smile adorned Tohma's features, as if he had told them something trivial instead of something that just ruined their lives.

"I'm having a bad dream…" Shuichi sighed as he stared ahead. Hiro sat across form him and Sakano-san just stood, not knowing what to do with himself. He had been the first one told about this sudden decision and had known that it wouldn't sit too well with the two friends. And the fact that Seguchi-san failed to tell them "who" this new band member was, meant that he, Sakano would have to take the wrath of Bad Luck when he broke the news.

"Its alright… we'll just ignore the dude!" Shu stood up and announced solemnly.

"Shuichi, I" sure that whoever this person is, has no fault whatsoever. Let's just give him a chance." Hiro reasoned.

"Hiro! If it weren't for you and your big mouth, we wouldn't be having this problem. Let me deal with it as I please, alright?" Shu shot sarcastically, glaring at his long time friend. Hiro just rolled his eyes; he couldn't really blame Shuichi for feeling that way.

"Fame can seriously change a person. Where is the agreeable, way too trusty and obnoxious, over the top kid I knew? The one who would have said _"the more the merrier"_ I'm not sure I'm liking you anymore."

"Hiro, I'm still the same, but my priorities are not. I have a goal and until I achieve it I cannot risk anything."

"A goal? Do you think you are the only one with goals? Until now, I been following yours blindly. I thought my goals and yours were the same, and I thought you cared. But I can see that's over with. If you don't care about other people's feelings and ideals, I won't care about you. If you're mad because you're not getting your way anymore, then go cry to your mother! Grow up and act like a pro." Hiro's feelings had never been as hurt. To think that his best friend was in it only for himself was too much to take.

"Look who's telling me to grow up! You, the one who thinks your own shadow is out to get you!"

"At least I was right about that… wasn't I?"

"It's your own fucking fault! If you hadn't patronized Seguchi-san, he wouldn't have done this out of spite."

"You take that back!" Hiro yelled and hit Shuichi square in the face before he could stop himself. Shuichi stood stupefied holding his cheek, then hit Hiro as well. And then all hell broke lose. The two rolled on the floor around the studio trying to get the last "good one", screaming all the obscenities known to man. Sakano tried to get the two apart, only to get a few punches himself.

"Take it back," screamed Hiro, chocking his long time friend.

"Fuck you!" Shu spat, punching Hiro in the groin.

"Fuck you, too!" Hiro roared.

"Double fuck you!!"

"Eh…Excuse me. I hate to interrupt, but I thought I'd come a day early to introduce myself." A small voice said hesitantly, making the two stop their cursing match and turn to the one uttering the words… a child, fifteen…sixteen at best. "My name is Fujisaki Suguru and I'm the new member of Bad luck," The boy bowed low, "I will do my best to help the band reach greatness and to honor the trust you and Tohma-kun put in me." Hiro let go of Shuichi and straightened his clothes, bowing as well. Shuichi looked the other way, ignoring the agreeable boy.

"You called Seguchi-sama "Tohma-kun". Are you related to him somehow?" Hiro asked and Shuichi turn his eyes sharply to them, not noticing the familiarity at all.

"Well, yes…"

"I'm so glad you could come, Suguru-kun. Let me show you around, and then we can hear Bad Luck's material to see what you can do to improve it." Sakano cut in before it was too late. If Hiro and Shuichi found out, that'd be the end; they wouldn't even give poor Suguru a chance. Shuichi stood in front of the boy to block the way, while Hiro bowed and politely asked:

"What is your relationship to Seguchi-sama?"

"Tohma-kun is my cousin." Suguru smiled and went to follow Sakano.

XXX

A/N Well my pretties, there was Suguru-kun in the horizon like some of you asked for… or about. I just had to keep it to myself there I love him and BL wouldn't be the same without him. o Also did any of you noticed how I used the same thing Hiro said to Shuichi in the anime… but in reverse?

That despicable Tohma and his evil ways… how dare he make Hiro and Shu mad!! Acting out of spite like that! Anyways I think he'll get over it… and Hiro too ne?

Oh, And that scene there with Yuki and Mikka in the beginning was there only because of the contract agreement I have with them (have to be in every chapter in part two) Seriously though. For all those of you who have asked, I will get to the reason why Eiri hangs on to her

Next Stop: **Super Drive. **my baby is coming, my baby is coming!! And he's bringing a pink bunny with him

XXX

Guren: Thank you, I try to update once a week, so keep that in mind, from hero on out the story will unfold a little faster

MC-88: She _IS_ a bitch! I've always known it. Anyways the countdown began last week... one more chap, and I'll rip open that can oflemon juice... oooh its gonna be good and satisfaying. And since you are my most faithful reader hands reader of the year award I will dedicate a second little surprise to you

AyakaChan: Sorry for making you wait soooooo long, but I like angst and the longer and more chaotic the uphill climb is, the better the downhill I always say... but don't fret... one more chap and the... hentai glare

Raven: Yuki is my favorite character in the anime/manga/remixes... you name it. At least his personality I'll keep intact (IMO) I will continue to write him to be his asshole, unaproacheble lost soul selfin the upcoming chapter until he realizes Shu is his one and only love!!

thebrunetteditz: Thank you, thank you bows one tries her best to make him the cold bastard that he is, but he will change in later chaps... for the better though.


	10. Super Drive

**O**K people's I promise the next chapter will be nothing but hot and steamy get togethers So bear with my drama queers for one more week, so, bear with it a little longer and I promise it WILL be worth your while. After that the fic goes downhill from there, you know your typical distrust issues, the Mika's out of the way and so on

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga mentioned within this story.

**R**for Yaoi and sex of course and Yuki's assholness.

Thankies to my wonderful beta **Deformography **for her wonderful work and remember that I do not own any of this people (as much as I would like to)

**Chapter Nine: Super Drive**

"When I heard you were back I could not believe you didn't call." Tea was being poured into fine china cups as the affectionate words were said.

"I know, I planned to, but I had a load of things to take care of. I've been away for so long." Tea was drunk, cookies were eaten.

"Anyhow, I'm glad you came to see me… I've got a nice treat for you!" Double mahogany doors opened to display a hidden giant television screen, a few buttons were pressed and a fast paced music video began to play. A pair of big brown eyes were immediately glued to it, and a pair of black ones to a certain guitar player. The fast song ended and the ones watching were smiling from ear to ear.

"So, what do you think?" The big brown eyes gleamed and the contentment emanated from their owner.

"Wow, Tohma that was so cool!" The words were spoken so honestly and reverently that it made Tohma smile at how one could be made happy with so little. It reminded him of why he loved this man so much.

"It was cool, wasn't it?" Tohma smiled, pouring more tea in the cup in front of his guest.

"I liked Glaring Dream very much… but I think I like this song better. It's so much happier… and the video, sugoi! Only you, Tohma-kun, can come up with such cool stuff." The easy smile grew wider, "Tohma… I can't wait to meet them! Can I see them today?" Big brown puppy eyes begged.

"I don't think so, but I promise I'll call them in tomorrow just for you."

"Cool!!"

"So, what do you think about my proposal?"

"I'm so doing it! Did you talk to her yet?" more cookies were devoured.

"I wanted to make sure you'd do it first. You know that without you we can't give Bad Luck a run for their money." An easy going smile was flashed.

"The first time I heard their song, I could tell that you handpicked them… wasn't I right?"

"Of course."

"Seguchi-sama…" Usagi came in looking somewhat pale, "There is someone outside who'd like to see you. He doesn't have an appointment. I told him you were in a meeting, but he insisted…" Usagi looked down blushing; whoever it was must have caused a big impression in the usually conservative woman.

"Who is it?" Tohma asked at the same time a blonde head popped in through the door. Tohma broke into a smile. It was very unlike Eiri to come in during business hours.

"Oh my God… Yuki-sama!" Cookies were forgotten and the other man in the room literally ran to wrap his arms around the mangaka's waist. Yuki Eiri looked down at the shorter man, then at Tohma with an expression that threw the NG president into a laughing fit. Yuki put both his hands on his assailant's shoulders as if he were a live wire and pushed him away.

"Oh my God, I'm your biggest fan!" The man continued disregarding the fact that he had been rudely rejected.

"Who the hell is this?" Yuki asked Tohma, ignoring the man and his comment completely, but with his hands still on his shoulders to keep him from hugging him again. Tohma laughed harder, putting a hand on his stomach. Usagi just looked from one to the other-- she'd never seen her boss laugh like that before... it was what one might call, a Kodak moment.

"You heard him… he's you biggest fan." Yuki shot Tohma a none too amused glare, "Sorry, sorry Eiri, let me introduce you properly. This is my ex band's lead singer and dear friend Sakuma Ryuichi. Ryu-kun, this is my brother-in-law and best friend Uesugi Eiri." Yuki looked down to meet big brown puppy eyes. He'd never seen Sakuma Ryuichi before, but he did know that the man was considered a legend in the music industry, even more so than Tohma. He certainly didn't expect him to be such a … _baffoon._

"You're Mika-chan's brother… sugoi! I had no idea, Tohma-kun I hate you, how could you not tell me!" Ryuichi pouted, hugging the pink bunny he had been holding tightly. "You could have gotten me an autograph, at least."

"Ryu-kun, come and sit down." Tohma commanded somewhat sternly, and the singer obeyed at once, never taking his eyes off Yuki. "It's fine Usagi-chan, you may leave. Do bring another cup of tea for Eiri." The woman bowed, stole a last glance at the tall mangaka, blushed and hurried out. "Another devoted fan, ne Yuki-sama?" Tohma joked staring after his secretary, "I'm disappointed. I thought she was in love with me."

"Yeah well, maybe we can invite her over to watch us fuck," Yuki begrudged, peeling his eyes from Ryu. Tohma snickered and Ryuichi seemed like he was about to cry. "Would you stop staring at me?!" Yuki snapped, not turning to look at the silly singer holding the pink stuffed animal.

"Get him, Kumagoro!" Eiri stepped aside to avoid the pink bunny thrown at him, looking even more disgusted. Tohma went into another laughing fit-- he hadn't laughed so hard since he got a stripper for Eiri's twenty-first birthday bash.

"Don't be mean to your biggest fan, Yuki-sama." Tohma managed to say between giggles.

"Is this guy for real?" Yuki exclaimed, throwing a hand in Ryu's direction disbelievingly. Ryuichi shifted his eyes from one man to the other.

"Well, you can have your autograph now, ne Ryu-kun?" Tohma added, and Yuki watched the expression of Nittle Grasper's former lead singer change from hurt to total bliss in a matter of seconds.

"I can see that you're busy," Eiri directed his gaze to Tohma, ignoring the weird episode.

"Oh no, don't worry about me!" Ryuichi yelled quickly getting up, "I want to go downstairs and see if I can find Shuichi-kun. Do you think they're back, Tohma?" Eiri's eyes snapped back to the most obnoxious person he's ever seen at the mention of that name.

"I don't think they'll come today, Ryuichi. They have a couple of interviews, but do go downstairs, and I'll meet you there in a few." Ryu nodded and went to where Yuki was still standing. The mangaka readied himself to have his personal space violated once more, but it didn't happen. Ryuichi clasped his hands together and bowed low, as if his idol were a saint.

"Next time would you sign my manga, Eiri-san?" The singer asked, almost singing. Eiri rolled his eyes and looked the other way.

"Whatever." Yuki responded dismissively, and Ryuichi smiled as wide as he could and ran out the door.

"What the hell was that about?" Yuki turned to Tohma who was smiling warmly. "How old is that guy, anyway?"

"A year older than me." Tohma responded, laughing at Yuki's priceless expression, "I'm happy you came to see me."

"Yeah, how was the funeral?" Eiri came to sit opposite from Tohma and helped himself to a cookie.

"It was hard to explain to your relatives why both sons were not present at their father's last farewell."

"Yeah well, I'm sure you managed fine." Yuki snorted.

"Mika is devastated."

"Don't act as if you care."

"Of course I care. Believe it or not, I care about your sister Eiri, not as she might like me to, but I care for her deeply." Tohma replied seriously, "How's Tatsuha doing?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since I dumped him at my house. I think he's trying to put the moves on Mikka," Yuki smirked.

"Would you die of a heart attack if you find Tatsuha and Mikka at it?" Tohma snickered

"I'd die of shock, but then again, I might watch and give the boy some pointers. It's the least a big brother can do."

"Sounds like you alright, but why would you be shocked? I'm sure you neglect that poor lonely woman more that you neglect me, and Tatsu-kun looks so much like you… I sometimes wonder if I should use him as a back up." Tohma said snidely, much to Eiri's very apparent displeasure

"Whatever, I'm not here to talk about any of that."

"I thought as much. So, tell me, what can I do for you?" Tohma walked around the coffee table and straddle Yuki, giving him a sensual look. Yuki arched a brow.

"Why was he here, anyway? He doesn't strike me as someone you'd have tea with for the hell of it."

"Ah, we were in the same band for years, and I haven't seen him in so long… but you know me too well. I can't fool you, can I?" Tohma kissed the bridge of Yuki's nose, "Don't mind me, I'm just very happy. I'm releasing a Grasper's greatest hits album and I want to record a couple of new songs with my former band… is that acceptable with your highness?"

"If it's going to make you act like a whore… bring it on." Yuki said holding Tohma's hips and rubbing them back and forth to rub against his sex.

"Who's acting like a whore now!" Tohma laughed, throwing his head back.

"What does he have to do with Bad Luck, anyway?" Yuki asked getting serious; Tohma snapped his head back up to look at the mangaka, perking a brow.

"My, I didn't know you were so well informed about music, Eiri-kun." Yuki's cheeks turned red for a second; a second long enough for Tohma Seguchi to notice. "Don't tell me the great high and mighty Uesugi Eiri has been listening to my boys and didn't tell me about it?" Again, Tohma laughed wholeheartedly.

"Yeah… and I know who Hiro is, too!" Yuki snapped blushing deeper, making Tohma laugh louder.

"Are you jealous?" NG's president asked amusedly after a while.

"You wish… anyway," Eiri snapped, "I need you to keep me informed of all their activities, interviews, performances… I want to know everything." Tohma got serious and looked at his friend and lover intently.

"And why is that?"

"Because I want to know. Don't worry I have no intention of taking your Hiro away from you," Yuki looked toward the window and said lowly, "It's the other one I'm interested in." Tohma broke into a wide smile and hugged the younger man tightly, "Has Yuki Eiri finally met his match?" The music industry mogul asked affectionately. Eiri didn't reply, instead, he nudged the older man to get off him, stood and walked to the door.

"Just do that for me." He said dryly and went out.

"Eiri!" Tohma called after him, and his blond head popped in the door a few seconds later, "You'll owe me… you know I'm coming over tonight to collect." Yuki smirked and left the room.

XXX

"I hate him." Shuichi whispered to Hiro as they listened to Suguru's arrangement to their next single "Super Drive". It had been two days since the over talented heir to the NG empire joined the band, much to the displeasure of everyone.

"Why, because he's good?" Hiro joked.

"Shut up! He's not that good." Shu glared at Hiro. After their little fistfight to let off steam, they were getting along much better. They actually forgot all about past pettiness. Shu didn't care about Hiro accusing Seguchi-san of being evil; in fact, he thought the same right now. He was now concentrating all of his spite on this way-too-young-to-be this-good kid. If he was honest though, he'd have to admit that he was feeling more than a little threatened by the boss' cousin.

"Quit whining. I think he's working out just fine, besides Sakano-san is right, with Suguru-kun around, you can focus in looking good on stage... maybe you can even get a girlfriend." Hiro mussed Shuichi's hair.

"Shindou-san!" Suguru called once the mix was over, "What do you think?" The teen's smile was enough to make it all worthwhile, but of course, Shuichi was not ready to admit that just yet.

"It was alright," Shu yelled back making a face and looking away from the boy. Hiro, along with the rest of the staff, gave him the thumbs up. Shuichi got up and walked to where Suguru had just preformed. He stood with arms crossed, staring boringly as he waited for the youngest member of the now trio to step aside.

"Now, watch the master do it." Shu added sarcastically.

"What… Tohma-kun is coming to play?" Suguru looked this way and that with his hand over his forehead as if looking for someone. Hiro along with the rest of the staff laughed hard at the clever joke, Shu on the other hand looked as if he wanted to kick some ass.

"Leave him alone Su-kun, he's on his period." Joked Hiro, still laughing. He came over and took the teen by the shoulders and led him away to watch Shu release some stress. The song began and once behind the mike, Shuichi was a different person.

"Wow, he's so good," Suguru awed, "I can see why Tohma-kun likes you guys so much." The teen added, Hiro looked at him, inwardly debating whether to ask the few questions that been plaguing him.

"Tell me Suguru-kun, how well do you know Seguchi-san?" Hiro decided to give it a shot.

"Back when he was in Grasper, he taught me how to play the synth. I was taking piano lessons and at the time I hated it, so Tohma-kun introduced me to the best alternative in the world," Suguru's eyes shined with pride, "Since then, I've been striving to catch up to him, or at least to make him proud of me. I was so happy when he called me to join Bad Luck."

"I see. I would want to make him proud, also." Hiro commented. The both of them were looking ahead at Shuichi play his tune, "What about his family? We've been working for him for a while and we still don't know anything but his name." Hiro hoped the teen didn't take offence in his questioning, but he had wanted to know about the man who had changed their lives, and Bad Luck's newest member was the only way how. On top of that, since the little episode in the recording studio, Hiro found himself thinking about their producer a great deal.

"Well, his parents died when he was sixteen, and my mom was his father's sister. At the time, she, along with the rest of the family, opposed of Tohma-kun being in charge of his parent's state and fortune. He proved them all wrong and went to Tokyo U, graduating with honors. He joined Sakuma-san and formed Nittle Grasper, met Mika-san and got married, Grasper separated, he founded NG…and that's all I know…Since he got married, I don't get to see him that much. I went to his wedding and I've been to his house a few times with my parents, but other than that, I see him the same as everyone else: in magazines and TV, he's a very private guy." Suguru smiled, looking at Hiro as if he had rehearsed and memorized this little bio and was expecting praise from his teacher for it.

"You didn't need to give me that much detail; I'm not trying to pry,"

"Of course not," Suguru smiled

"He doesn't have kids?" Hiro continued after a little while, Suguru smiled again, and Shuichi's awesome efforts were being completely ignored by the two other band members.

"No, and I don't think he will."

"Oh, that's too bad, eh?"

"You know, there's a rumor going on in the family," Suguru got closer to Hiro and whispered, "That he only married Mika-san to get to her brother."

"Her brother?" Hiro asked, obviously shocked.

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't say a word." Hiro nodded firmly, finding it very hard to keep the interest out of his tone.

"Tohma-kun got involved with Mika-san when he met her brother Eiri… Yuki Eiri."

"The mangaka!" Exclaimed Hiro shocked.

"Shhhh," Suguru covered his mouth with one hand and signaled for silence with the other.

"It's only a rumor, but I know for a fact that Eiri-san is Tohma-kun's brother in law. For some reason, they didn't tell our side of the family that Yuki-san was part of the Uesugi clan." Suguru whispered carefully, taking his hand away from Hiro's mouth.

"I'll be damned…" Hiro whispered in awe, trying to imagine the implications… Tohma Seguchi and Yuki Eiri, as lovers. For some reason that knowledge stirred something deep within him, something he couldn't explain.

"Sugoi!" A loud yell intruded the studio, followed by applause. Hiro looked up, regretting the intrusion; he had wanted to know more about this little rumor that will not let him sleep. Shuichi had finished his piece and was currently staring ahead, stupefied. He turned his head to look at Suguru, who was staring in the direction Shu was, with pretty much the same expression. Hiro turned to see who struck them with look at the dumb expression on my face arrows, and found himself face to face—almost touching—with former member and vocalist of Nittle Grasper, Sakuma Ryuichi.

XXX

It can't be! Ryuichi Sakuma stood not even ten feet away from him—Shuichi's head was spinning and his legs felt as if they could not hold his weight. He stared stupefied at the man he had admired for so long, the reason he was even into music, applauding his performance… his, no one else's but his.

"Sugoi, sugoi… that was incredible, can you do it again please? I didn't get to see the whole thing." Ryuichi Sakuma walked towards him smiling from ear to ear. He looked exactly as he did when Grasper was still together, his hair was longer, but the rest was the same. He came to stand in front of Shuichi and bowed slightly… bowed to him! Shu felt as if was going to pass out. He was so happy, yet he couldn't bring himself to say anything, if this was his reaction towards Ryuichi he didn't want to imagine what would be with a certain blond person he loved more than life itself.

"I'm Ryuichi, you can call me Ryu. Can I call you Shu-kun?" Shuichi almost fainted upon hearing his own name out of those godly lips; he nodded like an idiot and was rewarded with another wide smile from the other singer.

"Wow, today has been a great day. I got to see Tohma, meet Yuki Eiri-san and Shu-kun… I'm so happy." The former Grasper singer sang happily with gleaming eyes, and hugging a pink bunny tight. Shuichi froze at the mention of "that" name, and for a moment Ryuichi wasn't his adolescence idol anymore, he was the one who could answer a question that could change his life… give meaning to his life.

"Sakuma-san… is Yuki Eiri-sama in the building?" Shu asked weakly, wanting to hear a positive answer more than anything. He wanted to run already and look on his own, but where?

"Wow, sugoi! …look at that synth, it's the same kind Tohma-kun and Noriko-chan used!" Ryu exclaimed completely ignoring the question. Shuichi wanted to slap him, shake him, anything to make him talk.

"Ryuichi-san…" Shu begged in a small voice instead.

"Ryu-kun, call me Ryu-kun!"

"Did you meet…?"

"Ah here you are Ryuichi. So you got to meet my boys?" Seguchi Tohma said as he made his grand entrance, cool and stylish as always. Shu felt like crying, getting an answer now was impossible. Ryu moved to where Hiro and Suguru were and bowed slightly to them, introducing himself as if the two had just gotten there and not been standing looking like idiots the whole while. Tohma came to stand by them and Shuichi noticed Hiro blushing like a schoolgirl again and Suguru looking ready to pass out.

"Shuichi-kun," Tohma-san called and he was forced out of his daze. "Come, since I have all of you here, I have an announcement to make," Shu walked to them. He should be excited, happy, elated, but instead he felt like running away from it all, to look for "him." Why did being in love had to be so hard? And why did he have to be in love with someone he could never meet? Shu stood next to Hiro and waited for the _"big news"_.

"NG is proud to announce the release of Nittle Grasper's greatest hits album, along with a Mikka Costa new double single."

"Wow that's great Tohma-kun!" Suguru was the first to say.

"Does that mean the Nittle Grasper is getting back together?" Hiro asked not at all impressed.

"Yes, and that's not all," The NG president smiled wickedly. "We're releasing them the same day Gravity is scheduled to come out." Shuichi snapped his eyes to the blond mogul, his world collapsed like a wall of dominoes falling in a chain reaction, for the first time in his life he felt… _betrayed._

"Seguchi-san!"

"Tohma-kun!" Hiro and Suguru yelled in unison, making the cruel producer smile wider.

"Don't you think it would add more interest to the whole affair? I'm dying to see who will emerge victorious in this little race… of course I'm cheering for Bad Luck."

"Little race?!" Hiro spat, "You know exactly who will win this "little race." How can you do this to us? Isn't it in your best interest that we sell records? What games are you playing?" Hiro was so mad that he could barely keep his voice in check. Shuichi could literally see the steam coming out of his ears; he'd never seen him so upset.

"Of course it's in my best interest… do you have that little confidence in yourself? I wouldn't have made this kind of decision if I didn't think you're ready. What do you think, Ryu-kun?"

"It's gonna be great! I can't wait to sing together," He turned to Shuichi smiling broadly. Shu could not find it in himself to say anything to his idol, and the saddest part was that he didn't even care one way or the other… all he wanted to do was to run as fast as he could to look for Eiri Yuki, to find out if he was, or had been in the building.

XXX

Yuki stood behind the one-way glass window watching the whole tirade unfold. He could not take his eyes off the young god standing not twenty feet from him looking so lost.

"Beautiful…" he whispered to himself touching the glass as if reaching to him. "Your eyes… I want to touch them…" The lavender eyes that had been haunting him for the past two months were even more mesmerizing in person. The desire to go through that door and hold the young beautiful face close to his was overpowering, but… what would he say… what would he do? He was not in that deep yet as to be irrational about things, he would keep tags on him with the help of Tohma and when the time was right. He would have what he so wants. Yuki sighted frustratingly and watched them argue over Tohma's little game a few minutes longer.

"_Another night, with my own hand as my lover._" thought the irritated mangaka, rolling his eyes annoyingly, then turned and left quickly.

XXX

A/N Tohma is getting on my nerves… what does he have up his sleeve? Is he such a brat that because Hiko-kun isn't doing what he wants, he has to act like that? I'm telling you, I hope Hiro makes him suffer…or maybe give it to him so that he acts normal again, either or

Next Stop: **In The Moonlight.** Oh yeah! The awaited moment of truth… Yuki and Shuichi's eminent reunion, where will it take place, how, will they fuck? I think all of those key questions _WILL_ be answered in the next exiting chapter… don't miss it!!!

XXX

Ok Guys I'm having a little trouble here. The next chapter containg graphic content... more do that the previous chaps. I know this website does not take that very well. So here is my question. Will an edited version of the chap be acceptable? I will poet the full NC-17 version at AdltFanfiction and Mediaminer. I'm afraid I'll get reported if I post it here.

Tell me what you guys think... Blue


	11. In the Moonlight

The Day of reckoning is finally here… your patience will finally pay off And as a reward for waiting this long and putting up with my rambling… SUPER SIZE TRIPLE CHAPTER YAY!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga mentioned within this story.

**R** for cursing and adult situations

**Chapter 10: In the Moonlight**

Hiro stood outside Seguchi Tohma's door. He didn't know what he would say or do, or even if he had any right to be there. But somehow, he felt that all these sudden changes that were affecting Bad Luck's future were his fault. Hiro took a deep breath and knocked, the door was opened a second later by the moguls' secretary Usagi-san.

"Nakano-san, may I help you?" She asked somewhat surprised.

"I… is Seguchi-sama available?" Hiro asked shyly.

"Well, he is, but…"

"Usagi-chan, who is that?" Seguchi's cool voice came from inside the office, giving Hiro a little shudder.

"Nakano Hiroshi, Seguchi-san," she turned and replied.

"What are you waiting for? Let him in," Came the immediate response. Usagi stepped aside, allowing Hiro to come in. He walked into the spacious office hesitantly- he'd never been there on his own before, and it made him nervous. He tried not to look into those agreeable eyes, that as of late had been plaguing his very existence twenty-four-seven. Also the fact that he hadn't mentioned "that" incident at the recording studio made matters worse.

"Hiro-kun, have a seat." The man who had virtually taken his ability to sleep said casually, "What can I do for you?" Hiro looked around uncertainly, he didn't even know himself, "Usagi, bring some tea for Hiro-kun," The secretary bowed and left to do the chore, leaving him painfully alone with the person, who for some reason he now feared the most.

"I' am sorry to bother you like this," Hiro began shyly.

"It's no bother at all. In fact I' am very happy you came to see me, I feared I went too far the last time we were alone with each other." The erotic manner in which the words were spoken made Hiro gulp aloud. He didn't know what to make of it, " Suguru tells me you asked about me, I would have answered any question you might have had… still can." Hiro snapped his eyes to the man, all the shyness and hesitancy was replaced by anger.

"Is that why you made Suguru part of the band… so he cam spy on us?" Hiro spat.

"No, not 'us'… you, I did ask him to keep an eye on you." Tohma replied in his usual cool tone, with no intention to hide the fact.

"Why?" Demanded the infuriated guitar player.

"Because I care. You already tried to leave me once, I want to have a fair warning if there were to be a second time."

"I won't leave!" Hiro shouted going forward in his seat.

"I don't know that." Tohma replied calmly

"Is that why you're doing all this?"

"All of what?" NG's president and owner asked arching a brow.

"Suguru, Nittle Grasper's sudden reunion, Mikka Costa's CD, what you said about working us to the bone… out of spite… to get me?"

"Now why would I do that?" Tohma gave a short amused laugh that made Hiro want to punch him in the gut very badly, "You don't seem to understand… Hiro, I've spent a great deal of money and effort to promote Bad Luck, it is in my best interest that you do well. By you leaving before your first album is even released would somehow make that a little hard… don't you think?" Hiro's eyes deepened, his hands clenched into fists, his jaw set tight making his teeth grind.

"So what if we don't do well? He asked tightly.

"You will, I know this business better than I know myself… trust me."

"Somehow I find that very hard to believe at the moment."

"You say such hurtful things, Hiro-kun."

"What if we don't do well," Hiro asked again ignoring the previous comment.

"We'll cross that bridge when and if we get there." Tohma responded after a long silence, in which his eyes never left the longhaired man's. After that, they stared at one other for a full minute before Hiro rose to go. It had been futile to come, "I didn't trust you before… but now I can honestly tell you why." He turned to leave.

"That's a cruel thing to say Hiro." Tohma replied barely above a whisper.

"I don't know what games you're playing, but I refuse to fall victim to them again. Do as you like, add more members to the band, make us play classical music, set bugs in our apartment, I don't care. Now that I know the real you, I'm ready for anything, I won't give you the satisfaction to see me beg." Hiro walked to the door.

"Hiro!" Tohma called, for the first time sounding like a real human being rather than the programmed doll he pretended to be. Hiro stopped at the door not turning to look at him. He couldn't, he wasn't sure why, but he could not let the man see his face. He felt two arms wrap around his waist and a forehead lean on the back of his neck… Hiro froze.

"Why do you hate me so much?" before the man could say anything else in that imploring voice, Hiro ran out of there for dear life.

XXX

From the day Tohma Seguchi announced the reunion of his old band, it had been nothing but hard work for the members of Bad Luck. Getting up at five in the morning to do interviews, photo shoots and such, then getting home past midnight, only to get up at five again; was a regular occurrence as of late. Tohma Seguchi had not been kidding when he said that hard work was only beginning

Their van pulled in at Virgin Records Tokyo on that particular morning- the largest in the World, even bigger than the famous New York City branch. There were countless of fans waiting, cameras in hand for the arrival of the guests of honor.

"Look at all these people!" Both Shuichi and Suguru marveled as one, Hiro and Sakano remained calmed and collected even thought the noise outside threatened to make them deaf. "I can't believe they're all here to see us." Shu waved at the crowd even though they could not see him through the dark tinted glass. They rounded a corner that had been blocked off to traffic, and came to a secure entrance reserved for celebrities.

"The rumor NG put out about Grasper's reunion is spreading like a virus, I'm surprised there are so many people here." Hiro commented.

"Why would that be? We're making headlines even though our album isn't due to release for two more weeks." Shu countered earning nods from Suguru and Sakano.

"That is only because Grasper's Greatest Hits have not been announced."

"Mikka Costa's single was." Suguru stated the fact.

"She doesn't even matter, we have different music styles. Don't forget that some people seem to think we are Grasper wanna be's. Imagine whose album they're going to buy when all is said and done." Hiro added matter-of-factly.

"Why do you have to be such a party pooper Hiro?" Shu pouted.

"Because someone has to be, and neither of you seem to realize how our boss' head works."

"Oh and you do?"

"I think that I can have an educated guess."

"Regardless of that, today is our chance to give your fans the best impression that you can. Make them fall in love with you, make them want to buy your record." Sakano interjected as he hardly ever did. The van stopped and two huge security guards came along with some five bulky guys wearing black suits.

"Look Suguru, they look like the American secret service," joked Shu as they got off the car.

"Welcome, welcome!" An American man with very long blond hair tied up in a ponytail, and a very visible holster carrying two big magnums came rushing from within the store, "I'm K-san, but you can call me K-san. Seguchi put me in charge of your security, these here," he smirked mischiviously, signaling at the burly secret service men, "These man are your bodyguards."

"Wow we get to have bodyguards?" Suguru exclaimed.

"Not just any bodyguards, the best in the field, I hand picked them myself for you. I am also the one who provides security to all events from the label and I personally bodyguard Sakuma Ryuichi." K-san replied emphatically.

"You are Ryu-kun's body guard?" Shuichi asked looking at the man and then at the other five with him, noticing that even though the American was tall, he was half the size of the others.

"Of course, and I am also his manager."

"MANAGER?" All three members of Bad Luck exclaimed shocked.

"Yes, but come let's go inside, everyone is waiting." K-san led them to the back.

"SHU-KUN!" A very familiar voice yelled and two arms came from behind to wrap around the singer's neck, Shuichi turned to face his idol with a big smile. Saku… I mean Ryu-kun, you're here too?" Shuichi smiled back hugging the man as well, they almost looked like twins.

"K-kun told me you were coming, so I'm here to get your autograph too,"

"You can get my autograph any time Ryu-kun,"

"I know, but this is cool… here say hello to Komougoro," A pink bunny was put in front of Shu's face, which he took and hugged close as well—they had no idea how childish they looked.

"Ok we're letting people in, you've got five minutes." Someone yelled and a few make up people showed up with their pallets and brushes.

"I'll see you out there Shu," Ryuichi waved and went outside with K-san.

"Wait you'll get mobbed!" Shu yelled back as a woman powdered his face.

"Don't worry I got K-kun and a guise." He gave him the thumbs up, and the two were gone.

"Wow, he's so cool!" Suguru marveled after the older singer.

"He's a little… weird, but hey, I guess he's past all judgment." Hiro mumbled from somewhere in the background.

"Ok ready, let's go." Sakano came in and announced as someone introduced them to the crowd and screams and cries could be heard. The three went out and greeted their adoring fans.

Everything went smoothly except for the little scene K-san caused with one of his guns. Ryuichi did the line three times to get their signatures, each time wearing a different cap and shirt. Out of all of their previous sessions this one had been the best. There were tons more people and it was very organized. Shuichi felt such contentment and sense of worth; finally their day in the sun arrived, hard work didn't scare him. In fact, he was enjoying every minute of it, and the roller coaster ride was just beginning. The only thing left now was to meet _"him"_ When, and how? He didn't know, but it must happen, there were no if or buts about it. Whether he was a sell out and a poser, he didn't care, as long as he met Yuki Eiri and somehow make his feelings known to him was all it mattered.

X

"Sugoi Shu! You're so cool" Ryu came running and gave him a big hug after the session ended and all the people had been cleared out of the store. All were used to the obnoxious, over friendly man with a bunch of earrings and a pink bunny.

"I can't believe you weren't found out!" Shu hugged back and they stood in the middle of the store holding each other like long lost brothers, no one even paid attention to them anymore. However, to the tall man, wearing dark glasses and a hat, leaning on a wall at the furthest end of the store, who glared at the bunny holding man with hate so great that it could pierce, didn't seem harmless at all. He glared at the two smiling and laughing men and wanted nothing more than to run over and punch the ridiculous man to the ground.

"Nice to see you here" A familiar voice pulled the man out of his dark and bloody thoughts.

"Do you follow all your bands around?"

"Only the ones with gorgeous long haired guitar players." Tohma smiled watching Ryuichi and Shuichi act like children as well. "What do you see in him? I would have never thought him to be your type."

"No… what's my type?" Yuki asked peeling his eyes off the two singers and lowering his glasses to look into Tohma's eyes.

"I don't know… me?"

"But you're already taken Seguchi-sama," Yuki smirked and continued to watch over his obsession.

"Why are you stalking him? Go talk to him, I'll introduce you if you like." Tohma put a hand on the mangaka's shoulder.

"What would I say? Besides you know me, I like to complicate things." Yuki winced as Ryuichi took Shuichi by the waist and lifted him up in the air; the beautiful boy threw his head back laughing like a child, hair shaking deliciously, and the one named Hiro trying to get them to shut up.

"I'm working on something that might interest you." Tohma added.

"What is it?" Yuki asked a little more interested than he'd like to be.

"I'll tell you when I know for sure, in the meantime would you like me to get you an autographed naked picture of our dear Shu-kun?"

"Fuck you," Yuki muttered, walking away.

XXX

"Oh man, oh man I'm so fucking late… Hiro is so going to kill me!" Shuichi ran as fast as his feet could carry him looking at his watch every ten seconds, as if that would change the fact that he was over three hours late. After partying with K-san and Ryu-kun half the night and thinking about Yuki Eiri the other half, he'd finally managed to fall asleep an hour before his alarm was supposed to go off. Of course he slept right through it and fucking Hiro didn't even have the decency to wake him up… but oh, he's been quick to leave nasty messages in his voice mail every two minutes. The last one sounded menacing even, so he knew he was in deep shit. He ran faster, not even looking at where he was going, his only objective right now was to reach studio thirty-six… Bad Luck's headquarters.

As he ran, he saw out of the corner of his eye someone rounding out the corner heading in his direction, and before the longish haired singer could even attempt to stop, he collided into the poor passer by, hurling him about three feet away.

"Oh my God… I'm so sorry!" Shuichi stood faster than fast from the spot he'd fallen and came to help the man up – _thanks god it wasn't a woman._

"Ouch, that's Ok… man you must have been running a hundred miles an hour!" The fallen man joked as he looked down and rubbed his head as if he had hit it. Shuichi just wanted to make sure he was fine and be on his way already… Hiro could be quite vicious when he was pissed.

"Hey listen, are you alright?" Shu asked more anxious than concerned.

"Yeah I'm alright, the man who sounded very young replied still looking down.

"Listen, I gotta go, but here," Shu took a business card out of his pocket—first time he'd get to use one—and handed it to the guy, he looked up and Shuichi's eyes went wide with shock. The man he just bumped into was the spiting image of Yuki Eiri, only he had black hair and eyes, but everything else, the face, height, set of the eyes, even the hairstyle was the same.

"Hey, you're Shindou Shuichi from Bad Luck!" exclaimed the boy who looked just like his god. A little smirk graced the boy's lips, a smirk just like _"his"_ from all those years before.

"Yes…" was all Shuichi could manage to let out.

"Oh my God, this is awesome! What are the odds that I would bump… literally bump into you?" The replica of god himself mused happily. "Hey, are you alright, do I have something on my face, did you make me bleed?" The boy who was still sitting on the floor said inspecting his face with a mirror he pulled from his jean pocket to make sure everything was in order.

"Ah no it's not that . I'm sorry, you just look like someone I know." Shu responded immediately with a little more confidence in his voice.

"Oh man, I'm a big fan of your band… can I have your autograph?" Asked the boy politely.

"Sure," Shu held out a hand to help him up.

"Here sign here," He accepted the hand and pulled out an autograph book from his pocket. Shu looked at it feeling a little jealous, the book was almost full. The only signature he had ever managed to get was Yuki Eiri's. He was curious to know whose signatures the guy had. As if reading his thoughts he began:

"I got Mikka Costa's, Hyde, Gackt, Tohma, Noriko and a whole lot more, the only one I don't have is the one I want the most."

"Who is that? Shuichi asked marveling at the impressive list he was just given.

"Sakuma Ryuichi of course. I came to see if he was here today, but I'm out of luck, I'm so glad I bumped into you though." The boy talked excitedly, and Shuichi found himself wondering how he managed to get them all, and how he managed to get into the highly secure NG building.

"Can I get Hiroshi-san and Suguru-kun's sig as well?"

"I don't see why not." Shu smiled not able to get over the uncanny resemblance to the man of his dreams, "Do you only have musician's autographs?

"Mostly, but I have a few movie stars too, but if I could trade them all for a Ryuichi's signature I would in a second!"

"Wow, that's some devotion." Shu laughed reverently, understanding the boy's feelings completely. He himself would give an arm to see Yuki again.

"There must be someone _you_ want to meet right?" Yuki's double asked curiously it seemed.

"Yeah, I've seen him once, but I really want to see him again and get him to sign all my books." Why was he confiding this sacred secret to this boy? Shuichi didn't know, but for some reason it felt so easy to talk to this kid whose name he didn't even know.

"Ah you must mean Yuki Eiri; it always gets me how people can be so much into him when he's a total ass." The guy smirked and Shuichi almost punched him.

"Don't you dare say those things about him!" Shuichi yelled, turning red with rage.

"Alright, don't get so exited, but trust me I know what I'm talking about."

" I saw him once, when he signed my NeoGenesis number one issue, he wasn't an ass!" Shu continued to yell at the ignorant boy.

"Yeah, then how come he wouldn't even give his own brother a lousy autograph huh?" The boy began to yell as well. Shuichi's heart almost stopped, his world began to turn round and round… _did he hear right, did he say brother?_ The boy, who was not a boy, but the flesh and blood relative of the one who has ruled his existence since he was twelve years old, had to hold him up to keep him from falling.

"Hey are you alright Shindou-san?" He asked concerned, and Shu nodded weakly unable to form words. "Don't pass out on me alright?"

"Sorry, I just, I haven't eaten anything since who knows how long, they're working us like dogs here," Shuichi managed to excuse his bizarre reaction. "But more importantly, Yuki Eiri-sama is your brother?"

"Yeah, and there's nothing so regal and mighty about him let me tell you… Man, you should really take care of yourself; I wouldn't want you to drop dead before your can go on tour" Shuichi smiled weakly, again, marveling at the similarities… it made so much sense now, there was no way two beautiful beings such as them could exist and not be related.

"Who should I make this out to?" Shu asked opening the autograph book and wanting to know his name very badly.

"Uesugi Tatsuha, no wait, make it out to Tatsuha, no, better make that Tatsu-kun." Tatsuha said handing Shu a pen. The singer began scribbling; the only thing in his mind right then was to take Tatsuha somewhere private so that he could ask him all sorts of questions about Yuki Eiri.

"Your last name isn't Yuki?" He asked the first obvious one.

"No… Yuki is Eiri's penname; our parents would have disowned him had he desecrated the "prestigious" Uesugi name. Not that Eiri cares one way or the other, but he doesn't want anything to do with out us either." Tatsuha stated.

"Why?" Shuichi had butterflies in his stomach and his head was still spinning from the emotion he felt.

"Long Story… thank you." Tatsuha replied taking his book and bowing, "I thought you had to go?" the teen added concerned.

"Yes, I did, didn't I?" With a hand behind the back of his head Shu smiled trying to think of an excuse to see him again.

"Listen if I see Ryu-kun I'll ask him for a sig for you."

"Really?" Tatsuha's eyes gleamed, "Do you know him?"

"Yeah, in fact we're doing a colab for their upcoming Greatest Hits album." Shuichi lied.

"No way! Oh my God…" It was Shuichi's turn to hold the teen to prevent him from falling. "So it is true! And Tohma-onisan didn't tell me anything… the bastard!"

"Tohma- onisan?" Shu repeated slowly.

"Yeah, he's married to my sister… how do you think I get an all access pass to this building? He might be a cheap Ryuichi and Eiri hogging prick, but at least I get that much out of him… oh he's gonna hear me!" Tatsuha roared.

"No! Don't tell him anything; no one is supposed to know. I'll call you when I see Ryu-kun, and then you can help me get your brother to sign my stuff." Shu whispered tightly covering Tatsuha's mouth… _is this how it would feel to touch "him"?_

"You would do that?" the young monk clasped his hands together and asked teary eyed," I can't get you my brother's signature though, he hates me… but I can tell you where you can find him." Shuichi thought he died and went to heaven. This day was proving to be the luckiest of his entire life; not even the day they got a break from Seguchi-san seemed so great… although if it wasn't for that, he would have never met Tatsuha… who cared! _He was going to meet Yuki Eiri._

_XXX_

"Where the hell have you been?" Hiro yelled as soon as he stepped foot in the studio. After he and Tatsuha Uesugi exchanged phone numbers, email addresses… blood. Shuichi had not come directly to the studio; there had been something he needed to do before that.

"Where is Seguchi-san?" Shuichi asked ignoring his irritated friend's questioning.

"I kept calling you man! I was getting ready to go get you… we need to talk."

"Yes, talk, that's exactly what we need to do, but first where is Seguchi-san?" Shu asked again.

"Why would I know… what for?" Hiro asked suspicious.

"I have an idea he might like."

"Idea? Listen to me, you are four hours late and you know damn well we're under Seguchi-san's microscope, he is watching our every move. On top of that we have a squeak among us who runs and tells him everything we do, don't you see? He's trying to sabotage our career before it begins! And you come in here asking where he's at because you have an "idea" he might like? You amaze me, dude." Hiro threw his hands in the air.

"I really need to talk to him, Hiro." Shu replied stubbornly, "Wait, how do you know, he's trying to sabotage us… did he tell you?"

"Not in those words, but he implied as much… Shuichi, he got Suguru in the band to spy on me!"

"That's right. You said he likes you right?" Shu clasped both his hands, his mind already formulating a plan.

"Shuichi! Are you listening to me?" Hiro tried to reason with his ignoring friend.

"If he likes you so much then he'll listen to you, ne?"

"I didn't say that… wait a fucking minute, don't change the subject! This is serious." Hiro's already short patience was reaching its limit.

"Yes Hiro, this is very serious, you have to ask Seguchi-san to let us do a colab with Grasper." Shuichi stated seriously.

"What?" If looks could kill, Shuichi would be six feet under by the way Hiro glared, "Are you out of your mind! There is no way I'm asking that man for anything!" Hiro snapped firmly. Shuichi came closer to him and put his hands on his best friends shoulders – to anyone coming from the outside, it would seem as if they were kissing—"C'mon man, this is important to me, if you do this, I will never ask you for anything ever again."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe, besides I won't ask him for anything."

"Why?" Shuichi begged.

"Because…"

"Excuse me… am I interrupting something?" Tohma Seguchi's voice reached Shuichi's ears, and he let go of Hiro as if he were a livewire—afraid of the man's reaction for some reason- he went to the other side of the room to tinker with his keyboard, afraid to look at the man. Hiro stood glaring at their producer, and the man himself looked ready to kill.

"Of course not…" Shuichi managed to stutter realizing something needed to be said, and wondering exactly what the man thought had been going on.

"Anyway. I just arranged a singing spot on tonight's "First Stage", so I would begin rehearsing if I were you," Tohma Seguchi announced coldly, and then looking around asked, "Where is Suguru?"

"I sent him home, I didn't know whether Shuichi would make it in and he had homework to do." Shu shot a glare at his snitching friend.

"Call him, rehearse whatever song you think would be easier for him to learn, make sure he plays it perfectly by tonight. The show is live, so there will be no room for mistakes." Tohma spoke sternly and left without waiting for a reply.

"I thought you had to talk to him?" Hiro teased.

"Shut up!" Shuichi began playing a few random noted on his synth, "Why is he so mad anyways? I'ts like he's really got something against us," He added, paying close attention to his friend's reaction. It felt to Shuichi as if he was missing some important piece to a puzzle where those two were concerned. But regardless of that, he'd be damned if he'd let his plans of meeting Yuki get ruined, because Hiro made the boss mad… or jealous, or whatever the reason may be.

"Because he's a brat like you; he's not getting his way, so he takes it out on us." Hiro took out his cell and paged through his directory, finding Suguru's number and dialing it. He hadn't said anything to the boy about Tohma's admission of him being a spy… What would be the point of that? Instead he had decided to give the newest member of the band nothing to snitch about. After seconds, Suguru's voice came on.

"What do you mean?" Shuichi yelled.

"Hey Suguru, get over here pronto, we have a live gig tonight and we have to rehearse." Hiro spoke into the phone ignoring Shu. "I don't know, I forgot already, something about _'stage'_ anyways hurry up, we need to get tuned." Hiro continued, "I guess so, just get here fast!" and then hang up.

"Hiro…" Shu whispered.

"What?"

"What happened between you and Seguchi-san at the studio that day?" Hiro snapped his eyes to Shuichi's accusing glare.

"Nothing man, I know what's going through your mind, and it's not it… I told you I'm not gay!"

"Then why does Seguchi-san acts all weird around you, and why does he always looks at you as if he wants to eat you, or burn you alive? And why do you get all embarrassed when he's around?"

That's not true!" Hiro countered the harsh tone with one of his own, wondering just how much of his feelings was he letting out, and who else had noticed.

"Spare me Hiro, I'm not an idiot. I didn't say anything before because it's none of my business, but when it affects the band, it's a different matter."

"Whatever Shuichi, think whatever you like, I have nothing to explain to you, but let me say this… I have no feelings towards that man." The words were said more for Hiro's own sake, than to convince Shuichi.

"Maybe you do have feelings for him, you just don't know it." Their eyes met and Hiro had to look away, unable to meet Shuichi's gaze, "If I ask him to do the colab… would you do it?" Shuichi continued lowly.

"Whatever," Hiro let out lowly as well, turning to his guitar.

"No, not whatever, yes or no?"

"Yes…"

"Thank you." Shu smiled feeling more relieved than he should have, considering his friend's feelings.

"Don't need to, for once I agree with you, a colab with Grasper would benefit the band… would Seguchi do it? That's the real question."

"I'll ask him tomorrow, or even tonight, he might be at the show," Shu continued casually, at that moment Suguru came in running.

"Is it true Shu-kun… are we playing at First Stage?" the teen rushed excitedly.

"Yeah" Shu smiled in spite of himself and Hiro ignored them both and went to assume his position at their rehearsing stage. Suguru and Shuichi did the same.

"Alright Glaring Dream, from the top!" Shu yelled and began playing the tune. Both Hiro and Suguru looked at each other confused. "What's the mater, did you forget the song?" the lead singer asked sarcastically.

"Why Glaring Dream? That's an old hit, how about Super Drive… or our next single… Spicy Marmalade?" Hiro asked puzzled.

"Because I wrote Glaring Dream and that's the only original song from our old clubbin' days… ahhh… who cares, just do it!" Shu yelled

Whatever man… if Seguchi-san yells at you tomorrow, don't come crying to me." Hiro shrugged.

"He's right Shu-kun, I don't think Tohma-kun will…"

"Little boys listen to their grown ups, shut up and begin already." Shu interrupted Suguru.

"Then I guess he won't be allowing… you know what?" Hiro smirked.

"Then I guess we wait for him to cool off, then you ask him?" Shu smirked back.

"Me? Hell no, it's all on you dude" Suguru watched from one to the other, missing some big point to this whole argument.

"Oh, but I think he'll listen to you in a heartbeat"

"Give it a rest about that!" Hiro snapped annoyed. "Forget I said anything to you about that!"

"Oh but you did and I will never give it rest." Shu smirked wider and Suguru scratched his head... suddenly realizing what they were going about.

"Idiot!" Hiro snapped.

"Arrogant ass!" Shuichi snapped back.

"At least I have something to be arrogant about!" Hiro shouted louder.

"Shut up! How old are you?" Shu elevated his tone as well.

"Older than you!"

"Both of you SHUT UP!" Suguru finally had enough of the bickering, and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Glaring Dream… from the top!"

XXX

A phone rang and even though he was in the middle of an important re-structuring of the company conference, he answered at the first ring

"Eiri here," he let out in a hushed voice as he mildly paid attention to the slide presentation a printing company was offering.

"Did I interrupt something?" Tohma asked noticing the peculiar tone.

"Not really, got anything for me?"

"Yes, tonight, First Stage. Mikka will be there too,"

"Was that necessary?" Yuki asked nonchalantly, not to alert his staff at how annoyed this little piece of info had really made him.

"Sorry Eiri, have to promote her coming single, there will be other opportunities for you to see your boy. Their album is scheduled to come out in two weeks, and after that, they'll be very much in demand… are you coming? Tohma asked after a second.

"Thank you." Yuki whispered not replying the question and hanged up the phone, turning with a happy smirk to his staff- lucky bastards had no idea how this sudden news had just made their workday so much better.

XXX

The moment of truth finally arrived. Their first appearance on live TV, Shuichi, Hiro and Suguru stood watching stupefied at the buzz and goings on behind the scenes at one of Japan's most tuned in television programs. A show where Nittle Grasper had been a regular guest in their glory days.

"This way to the dressing rooms," A man wearing a head set snapped at them and walked away expecting them to follow.

"Man, talk about rude!" Suguru begrudged.

"I'm sure he sees celebrities all the time… I bet he's seen Yuki Eiri too." Shu whispered feeling a little jealous of the man.

"What's your obsession with that guy? You mention him at least once daily," Suguru noted, knitting his brow.

"Glad you noticed; because he's a genius." Shu winked his eye.

"I don't know, I have never been able to get into his stuff, it's so… tragic"

"Shut up before I pound you here and now" Shu snapped harshly, "I bet you freaking read 'Fruits Basket' or some cutesy shit like that!" Hiro looked at the both rolling his eyes at their immaturity.

"Not true!" Suguru shouted. The man stopped and they almost bumped into him, "First door to the right, Fujisaki-san, second Nakano-san and third Shindou-san. You have forty minutes after the show starts to be ready. You are expected at the wings at nine forty-five. Your performance comes just before the show ends.You will only perform the song you rehearsed, there will be no time for an interview since you were fitted in at the last moment. There are screens in your dressing rooms in case you'd like to watch the show before you're due on stage." The man said as if it was something he'd memorized, bowed and left

"We have our own dressing rooms," Shu awed.

"What are you wearing, Shuichi-san?" Suguru asked his new idol, entirely forgetting their little 'misunderstanding'.

"My lucky shirt." He responded with a wink, walking to his 'dressing room'

"That old and beat up Evangelion shirt…you have got to be joking! This is our first live television appearance… get real man!" Hiro protested.

"Sorry man, I vowed to a higher, divine power that if I ever made it in the business I would wear that shirt to my first gig as a pro." Shu replied matter-of-factly.

"What kind of vow is that?" Hiro threw his hands in the air indignant by with his friend's carelessness.

"It sounds like a desperate vow to me!" laughed Suguru, "Technically this isn't your first gig as a pro. That would have been your first signing session, or your first radio interview… or when Glaring Dream video was filmed, or…"

"Shut up ok! I get the point! I said I'm wearing it, and I'm wearing it, regardless of the 'technicalities'"

"Be my guest, but when you come out in every 'worst dressed' list in next week's gossip columns, don't come crying to me," hmphed Hiro, walking to his own dressing room and disappearing into it.

"I won't!" pouted Shuichi.

XXX

You look radiant Mikka-san." The make-up artist gleamed at her finished work of art. Of course it helped a great deal that the pop singer was so flawlessly beautiful. The said pop diva inspected her reflection in the mirror with apparent pleasure.

"She does look… nice." Came a deep voice Mikka hadn't heard in days.

"Eiri!" She exclaimed running to him and locking her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips.

"Mikka-san, your make up!" the other woman exclaimed nervously—there was not time to do it over.

"Yes Mikka, your make up." Yuki tapped her nose with one slender finger as he reprimanded.

"What are you doing here?" Mikka asked happily, excitedly. The thought that her fiancé came all the way here to see her, was already making her forget the hurt she'd been feeling at his neglect. "How did you find out?"

"A birdie told me." Yuki replied.

"Was it Tohma?"

"It was a bleached out birdie" Yuki referred to the now permanent blond locks of his accomplice. "So who else is in this show?" He asked dismissively walking to a couch by the TV screen and making himself comfortable on it. "How about some of that wine?" Pointing to a bottle of fine white wine Eiri addressed Mikka's assistant.

Mikka came to sit by him, and began talking excitedly, "Miyamoto Shigeru, and Takeshi Kaneshiro, and… me" She batted her long eyelashes to her love.

"Are you singing, love?" She was delighted the he once again called her that, it felt like old times, when she was truly sure of his feelings for her.

"No, I'm just answering a few questions about my new single… did you listened to it yet?"

"Uh… yes, of course, nice song? Yuki lied, not wanting to get into it. He could not tell her that the only music he'd ever listened to was American heavy metal and as of late… Bad Luck.

"I'm so happy you're here Eiri," She came close and kissed his lips taking care not to ruin her make up, Yuki allowed this, after all, it was the least he could do for the deluded woman.

"I thought they always had a musical guest in this show?" Yuki commented smirking as he realized that Tohma had failed to tell Mikka that her nemesis at the label would be here as well… _evil Tohma_… that's why he loved him so much.

"Now that you mention it, you're right… but who cares, you're here and that's all that matters. Are we going out to dinner afterwards?"

"Can't, I have a lot of work." It was too much for Mikka to hope for, but as much as the cold words saddened her, she was still thrilled that he was here with her.

"Costa-san, ten minutes!" A voice yelled from outside and she got on her feet sipping a little of Eiri's wine and giving him little peck on the nose.

"I'll see you later." She whispered seductively in Yuki's ear and went out to wait for her introduction. Yuki settled on the sofa and turned on the TV… his heart beating a little faster as he prepared to wait for the longest hour of his life to end.

XXX

Shuichi looked into the screen in disbelief as the host announced Mikka Costa as a guest. The woman came out looking radiant as always and Shuichi felt a surge of hate and envy coursing through him. The audience applauded her heavily, even more so than the awesome action movie star Takeshi Kaneshiro. She kissed the host on the cheek—so flaky- and sat next to the movie star, just giving the handsome man a gracious nod … _why would you want a movie star when you already have a god?_ Thought Shuichi. A series of questions were asked about her upcoming single and CD. Toward the end of the interview—which Shuichi watched intently—the question he dreaded came.

"Mikka-chan, so when is the big date?" She laughed a little with the host and shook her head.

"You'll be the first to know when we set a date." The woman laughed and Shuichi felt as if he couldn't hate more, it wasn't her fault he knew, but he couldn't help it.

"I'll hold you to that," The host joked, "But at least let me see it, I've read so much about it, and I've seen countless of pictures, but' I've never seen the real thing." The woman reached for Mikka's hand. Shu felt an urge to turn off the set, but couldn't. Mikka Costa held her left hand to show a huge ring—way to big and grotesque for her slender digit.

"Oh my God it's beautiful!" The host exclaimed and even Takeshi scooted over to see it.

"Wow, we have to take a break, but we'll be back with the video games industry's most innovative and influential man, Miyamoto Shigeru-sama… please stay tuned" And the woman turned to Mikka's ring as the camera pulled away and they went to commercials.

XXX

The music began and the crowd went wild, he had no idea how many people were really into them. Shuichi didn't find out until the last minute that they were surprise guests; this fact made him more than a little happy. He could not wait to see Mikka Costa's face when she saw them on stage singing their love tune. True to his dreams, he fixed his eyes on her—discreetly—and relished at the look of pure hurt on her face… _yeah show off your ring now!_ Laughed Shuichi inside, as he looked at her and smiled, waiting for his cue to begin with the song.

He wasn't playing his synth tonight. Hiro and Suguru, plus the hired drummer were doing all the instrumentation. All he needed to do was make sure that his song reached the one he wrote it for… _are you watching, Eiri?_ He allowed himself the luxury to picture his love just before his cue. And then, he let his voice sore into the plea he'd written so long ago:

_nigiyaka na hitogomi ni _

_tokeru tsubuyaki ga_

_ashi moto ni _

_chirabatta omoide nijimaseru_

His voice rose higher and sweeter, letting all his pent up emotion merge with the song… _their song, _He averted his eyes to the crowd and felt his heart skip a beat as he saw people actually singing with him. He looked higher, almost choking as he saw girls crying as he husked the empty love promises… _since when do I make girls cry?_ Shuichi thought as he began making his way closer to the first row.

_mayoi aruku _

_machi no kagayaki wa glaring one way_

_kogo e sou na _

_boku o terasu_

The crying girls seemed to get more exited as he came closer to them. He targeted a pretty young black haired girl and extended his hand reaching out to her. She took his hand and he sang to her, as if they were two lost lovers finding their way to each other, making her tears fall in glistering rivulets down her pretty face. He let go of her and moved on afraid that she would faint.

_tsumetai toki ga_

_yume o furaseru_

_kono te no naka o suri nukete_

_negai kazo e_

_mezame ta toki ni_

_yureru maboroshi ni_

_kimi ga utsuru_

_boku o michibiku_

_kasu kana shiruetto_

He made his way back to where Hiro and Suguru were playing, but not before stealing a glance at her… the woman he hated more than anything: Mikka Costa who sat watching him expressionlessly. This was the very first time he'd seen her in person and she was as always undeniably beautiful. He felt so small in her presence, so insignificant, and that made him hate her even more. He closed his eyes and lowered his voice seductively, smiling a little as he elicited some groans and cries from the crowd. It seemed as if he were singing to her, to his nemesis in love. Shuichi steeled his eyes to hers and sent a silent message that by the looks of it, seemed as if she received it. Her gaze hardened and the two held their eyes to one another for a few seconds, sealing their rivalry.

_nagasareru fuan dake o_

_tsugeru yasashisa mo_

_eien ni mita sareta_

_ashita mo hoshi kunai_

_kimi ni todoke_

_ruhazuno kotoba wa it's talk to myself_

_kage mo naku_

_hibi ni ochiru_

He took the center of the stage again as he sang… _are you watching my love, do you even know I exist? _His thoughts raced as he forgot where he was and poured his heart out into the melodious tune... his message of love that would probably never reach its destination.

_furueru yubi de_

_yume o kasaneru_

_iki mo dekizuni kuzureteku_

_tashi kana koto_

_futashi kasugite_

_nani o shinji reba_

_kimi ni aeru?_

_shiroku kieteku ano hi no shiruetto_

Shuichi slowly opened his eyes and fixed them on her again, dropping his voice a little lower as the slowest part of the song was coming up. He deepened his eyes on hers once more, who was now watching him without any intent to hide her dislike… _that's right, hate me, hate like I hate you, and even if you never get to know the reason why, know the feeling of an envious heart. _

_awaku somaru kisetsu o miageru_

_Life Winter Dream_

_tachi domaru_

_boku o sarau_

And then, and then… right in front of his eyes, stood his god… Yuki Eiri made his way from back stage and walked the short distance to the guest area and sat almost absently on the only empty couch, never taking his eyes off him… _him._

Shuichi stop singing and he almost choked, his legs grew weak, he wanted to scream, to run, to hide, to go to him and hold him tightly in his arms all at the same time. Hiro and Suguru, noticing something amiss kept on playing, improvising an extension to the bridge.

After the initial shock, Shuichi took a deep breath and began singing the chorus once more. By now everyone had noticed that the song had been modified, and the back stage producers picked up the unrehearsed extension with a wince. Otherwise everything was fine, the audience unsuspecting and seemingly enjoying the change.

Eiri's eyes on him were physically weakening, so intense was his gaze the he could not suppress a little moan that was not lost to his best friend who had trotted his way to him and played his guitar close by, with questioning looks. Shuichi kept on singing his song, suddenly the lyrics were not empty promises anymore; and he bared his heart and soul to his love. Shuichi found himself walking toward him, everyone was gone, and to him Yuki was the only soul in existence. His honey colored eyes darkened by the intensity of his gaze, it was almost as if he felt the same burning passion, the same intoxicating need for contact. Shuichi was drunk, sunk into those eyes that have obsessed him for years. Chills ran up and down his spine, he felt nauseous and butterflies swarmed about in his stomach as he approached. Yuki was sitting so close, no more than a few steps away, yet it seemed like miles.

He came to a halt right in front of his god. Shuichi bowed in respect and admiration. That was all he had planned to do. But suddenly the urge for more took an overpowering hold of him and his body moved on its own. Shuichi took another step and extended his hand to his god as if asking for guidance. He must look like an idiot, but he didn't care, if Yuki Eiri made a fool of him on national television, he didn't care, but he needed to know, he needed to touch him, if only in the most innocent of hand shakes. Eiri's eyes widened a little as if he were shocked and perplexed by this. And when Shuichi thought that he would deny him of the honor of his hand Yuki Eiri raised his full length and held out his hand holding his firmly.

Shuichi could have died right then and there and be happy, but no, it couldn't be that easy. When he thought he couldn't do anything more stupid than what he had just done, Shuichi smiled, his most sincere and heart felt smile to his god, and embraced him… in front of millions, on live TV.

_Push me if you must, shun me, and berate me if you will… I don't care. I'm holding you now and this is all I need, I can die happy now... _Shu's head screamed as he squeezed his arms with all his might, expecting to be pushed any minute now. Then, he felt two strong arms embracing him as well, engulfing him with unbelievable warmth… then he heard a deep voice whispering in his ear.

… _You just made me day…_

_XXX_

_It's him!_ The little boy from years before whose smile etched itself in his mind like a fire emblem for months. A smile that he sometimes remembered even to this day- Yuki's thoughts raced as he held the slender being who had plagued his dreams for who knows how many agonizingly long months. He had not planned to come out on stage, he had just wanted to hear him sing live and gone home like in all those many occations in the past few weks. But once he was out on the stage, singing the tune that played in his mind day and night, he couln't help it and as if his body had a mind of its own, he came out to the stage. Eiri felt all eyes on them; and the only sound was the music the other band members thankfully kept on playing. He knew he had to put a stop to this, but he found that he could not move, already feeling intoxicated by the mere feel of the boy, the smell of his soft hair. For the first time he didn't care what other's thought. He felt the slender arms tightened around him and for a second it seemed as if their souls melded into one being.

"Eiri…" He heard Mikka whisper; he could perceive the shock in her voice. He shifted his eyes angrily at her, but it didn't do any good. Shuichi stiffened realizing their transgression, and painfully tore himself away from him, regretfully terminating their warm embrace. The boy smiled at him, with that innocence that didn't fail to melt him, and he found himself lost in those expressive lavender eyes. For anyone watching him, he would seem expressionless, but inside Yuki was nearly in tears.

XXX

"Nice shirt," Yuki's deep voice said, and he remembered that he was wearing the very same shirt he wore that day so long ago—it had been awfully big then, now a perfect fit. With an easy smirk, his god pulled a pen out of his pocket and began scribbling on his shirt. Every stroke of the pen against his body made his legs grow weaker. Suddenly it downed on Shuichi Shindou that all eyes were on him. He tore his senses from his love and listened to the music, waiting for the precise moment to continue the tune as. Slowly he brought the mike to his lips and sang with all his heart as Yuki signed his shirt:

_kaze ni kisareru_

_torinoko sareru_

_mune ni kaji kamu akogaremo_

This time he locked eyes with the man of his dreams, and he gave an almost soundless gasp and his deep eyes warmed, showing more emotion than Shuichi had ever seen in his life.

_tsumetai toki ga_

_yume ni tadayou_

_sono te no naka ni uketomete_

_negai kazo e_

_mezame ta toki ni_

_yureru maboroshi ni_

_kimi ga utsuru_

_boku o michibiku_

_kasu kana shiruetto_

The song ended and the show's host spoke a few words of thanks to the audience and sponsors, and some cue was given announcing the credits were rolling. Yuki finished scribbling his shirt and extended his hand, which Shuichi took and held firmly. Then another quick embrace, but this time it wasn't him who started it.

"You sound better in person." Yuki Eiri said as they parted. Shuichi wanted to cry, if this was a dream, he never wanted to wake from it, but as he saw his god move on to pay attention to the others, who most definitely were seeking his attention, Shuichi knew that his mind could have not come up with such perfect scenario.

"Shuichi!" Hiro called, as he and Suguru came to him. The cameras no longer rolling and the audience already clear. The three band members had the opportunity to talk freely. Shu was in la-la land and was mildly aware of them approaching. Yuki spoke with Miyamoto-sama- that woman hanging from his arm… glaring daggers at him, Her cold stare, penetrating his bones.

"Well done." She mutterd tonelessly, and for some reason he didn't understand, he let his own hate for the woman come forth, and with a half grin he bowed slightly muttering back:

"Thank you…"

"C'mon, let's go change," Shu heard Hiro say and a hand was put on his shoulder.

"That was awesome!" Suguru exclaimed excitedly, "I didn't know you actually knew Yuki-sama, I thought you were just obsessed. Tohma-kun has never introduced him to me," Then looking at his shirt, "Oh my God! Look at your shirt," Shuichi did for the first time, almost fainting as he saw a newly drawn Eva on it. The sixteen year old continued his marvel as they made their way to the dressing rooms. Suguru went to his and Hiro and Shuichi were finally alone.

"What was that about?" Hiro asked a little more than curious.

"What do you mean? I _am_ his number one fan, after all" Shu replied playing the fool, remembering the feel of those strong arms around him, the sound of the husky voice whispering in his ear, the warm soft breath as every word was uttered making him feel as if he was going to die all over again, and he had to hold onto Hiro for balance.

"That's exactly what I mean! You looked like you were going to jump him. You should have seen Mikka Costa's face, she was ready to kill you!" Hiro laughed holding his friend, the fact that Shuichi's reaction had been more than just a fan standpoint, not escaping him.

"Her problem," Shu snapped, " I was just paying my respects, if she can't take it, that's on her."

"Yeah whatever," Hiro smirked suspiciously.

"What is it to you anyways?"

"Nothing other than the fact that I remembered a certain obnoxious person telling me that it didn't matter whether you like a man or a woman… I don't know, it just got me thinking. Besides, if you were to be involved in a scandal the band would suffer."

"Since when you care about the band so much? If I remember correctly, you were the one wanting to leave." Shuichi turned away. Sometimes he felt as if he didn't know his best friend anymore, as if they were drifting farther apart.

"I do, you know that, I thought we were friends."

"We are, why would you say that?"

"I feel like there's a lot of things you're hiding from me." There was no anger or reproach in those words, only a little hurt.

"Every man has his secrets Hiro, but that doesn't mean I don't trust you or anything." Shuichi replied tonelessly.

"I don't," Hiro responded nonchalant. And stopped in front of his door, opening it and stepping inside the small room behind it.

XXX

"Yeah I'm sure…" Shuichi whispered as his friend went in and closed the door, he stared at it for a few moments, thinking how ironic at all was. He could never bring himself to talk about his feelings for Yuki, he had wanted to, many times, especially when it got so suffocating that threatened to eat him alive. But each time he tried, some thing kept him from it. He would never be able to express his feelings, not to Hiro or anyone else.

… _Had it been that obvious?_ Yeah maybe, Shu thought with a warm smile remembering once more, looking at his T-shirt. He made his way to his own dressing room, wanting to change quickly and go home to replay the evening over and over in his mind while touching himself.

"Shuichi." A voice halted him, and he thought he would faint. The deep voice belonged to the man of his dreams, the one who held his life for all it was worth… _but it could not be_… the voice was calling '_his_' name. Shuichi turned slowly, as if afraid he would find nothing but empty space, but knowing that that was probably not so. His eyes opened wide, Yuki Eiri stood not ten paces away from him, a hand in his pocket, and the other holding a cigarette, tall and rigid, looking very much like the god he was.

"Yes…?" Shuichi managed to say; at least he thought he did.

"Do you have anything to do now?" The question was asked in a tone somewhere between contained urgency and implore.

"No…" Another weak response was all Shuichi could manage.

"I thought you might like to come over to my studio, to see some of my… work" Yuki immediately looked the other way as if embarrassed… _but that can't be_. Shuichi's heart skipped a beat upon hearing those words. He didn't respond, couldn't respond. Yuki Eiri stood there a while and then turned and began walking away.

"Please don't go!" Shuichi shouted imploringly as he took a step, reaching out to him. Yuki looked over his shoulder with those intense eyes that gave Shuichi a hard on every time he thought about them.

"If you want to come, follow me," He replied tonelessly and continued walking away. Shuichi's feet carried him by themselves. They came to a side door—hidden from view—and Yuki pushed it open and went through it. Shuichi followed close behind. Once outside there was a black Mercedes Benz. Shuichi heard the alarm click, and Yuki opened the passenger door for him. It then became painfully clear that he was to ride with his god…_ Alone_. He could feel himself growing weaker, he could feel his arousal coming to claim him… _this can't be, this can't be happening_! Shuichi's mind screamed, _What am I going to do?_ His heartbeats came so hard and fast that it seemed his heart would burst right out of his chest.

"Buckle up… I drive very fast." Yuki's husk intruded his senses breaking him into goose bumps all over. With that said they took off into the night.

XXX

Hiro walked into his dressing room wearing a big grin on his face. The night had been perfect. He'd never known how much he'd enjoy a televised live performance. Other than Shuichi's bizarre behavior towards the mangaka who came out of nowhere, everything had gone as smooth as silk. He closed the door and turned feeling a chill go down his spine as he set eyes on Seguchi Tohma sitting on the overstuffed chair in the middle of the room, staring at him with an intensity he'd never seen on the man. His eyes looked as if on fire as he ran them over the now paralyzed form of Hiroshi.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Hiro-kun?" The producer husked, sending another shiver down Hiro's spine.

"Wha—what are you doing here?" Hiro managed to say looking the other way, ordering his body to move, but unable to get any results.

"I thought I'd come to congratulate you." Tohma continued in that husky half whisper that was proving to be very disturbing to Bad Luck' guitarist.

"Thank you" Hiro let out unsure of what else to say. They had only seen each other in passing since the time Hiro went to the man's office. Avoiding eye contact at all costs, and now he was here, in his dressing room. Hiro managed to move over to his wardrobe, and pulling out a plain cotton shirt and a pair of pants, he waited.

"Go ahead," Tohma smiled, "I'm, not going anywhere." Hiro didn't turn around to look at him, afraid that his face would betray him. He didn't understand this cat and mouse game they were playing, all he knew was the he could not lose it.

For some time now, he'd known that deep down he was somewhat attracted to his boss. The proof of that had come when he finally got Maiko to go out with him, and when all was said and done, and she was willing to take it to the next level, the only thing in his mind was the sad expression of the handsome producer as he told them his father in law had died, and the disappointment he felt as he found out he was married, and the curiosity to know what his wife looked like. Feeling a bit more confident, Hiro took off his sweat drenched silk shirt, displaying his backside to the silent spectator. He heard a little gasp and a hiss of air from behind, and could not help to feel a little proud that he had elicited that reaction from the powerful man. Hiro walked toward the shower, but was stopped by two arms around his waist. Hiro froze, the same way he had when those same arms engulfed him once before. Then he felt a cheek press against the naked skin between his shoulders and literally got goose bumps all over. He turned fast to face the beautiful man with the innocent face and the angelic smile.

"I gather you've guessed how I feel about you…Hiro" Tohma continued in a seductive tone, putting his hands on Hiro's hard chest.

"Listen," Hiro wanted this to stop, or more accurately, needed this to stop before he'd lose himself to this man's beauty and charms and get in far too deep to do anything about it. But as he tried to move he found it that he was paralyzed where he stood, the feelings of those hands over his naked flesh making him feel things he didn't know. With all of his will Hiro put both hands on Tohma's shoulder and pushed gently away. "I—I don't know what you're talking about… I'm not gay," The words were said with no conviction whatsoever, and although he pushed the producer away, Tohma's hands were still deliciously running over his muscles, from his chest, down to his abdomen. The air was coming out in ragged gasps from the both of them. Hiro wanted to push him hard, make him fall on the floor, see that careful placed mask in shame and pain, but he couldn't. The sensations coursing though his body totally and completely prevented him from it, and it was scaring him, this feeling, _so good… too good_.

"I can't take it anymore…Hiro," Tohma whispered desperately as he began to kiss his way from Hiro's chest, up to his neck. "I tried being patience, I tried doing this right and win you over, but the more I do the more I earn your resentment," Hiro chocked a moan upon hearing the despeate plea. He had to do something, this could not happen… _he was not gay… he was not!_ He had his pride and refused to be manipulated by this man on this as well, he had dreams, and those dreams were to marry Maiko and have a bunch of kids with her.

But as he thought on the dreams he once had, they seemed frivolous and stupid. All he could concentrate on now were those lips, grazing and nipping at his neck, his ear lobe… his lips, slowly asking for access. Hiro parted them open and let himself go for a moment wanting to feel more, to relish in the sweet taste of Tohma Seguchi's mouth.

X

Tohma kissed those glorious lips, slowly at first, trying to contain his own passion, not to scare the object of all those sleepless nights, of all those months of anguish. But it soon proved to be too much. As Hiro responded to his hands and lips Tohma's vision clouded, his loin tightened, he wanted one thing and one thing only… be one with Hiro. Their kiss became more frantic, almost desperate. Tohma wanted to stay like this forever, but at the same time he wanted to move forward to what he craved the most. In a matter of seconds, the kiss went from total bliss, to a race to some finish line he had to reach no matter what. Tohma ran his hands along Hiro's hard body, feelings each muscle, gasping into those soft lips he had craved for so long. Lower and lower his hands went, until they reached Hiro's belt. Desperately and with clumsy fingers, he undid the demon that kept him from true heaven and plunged his hand to find the center of it all.

X

A hand took hold of his manhood, and to his surprise, Hiro was hard… _very hard_, almost painfully so. Over a man he thought he hated. As the hand stroked the fires within him, Hiro broke the kiss and threw his head back, mouth open agape. The skill in which that devilish hand moved was enough to drive him mad, and the lips that were ravishing his neck, were completing the task. Hiro was gasping for air, his hands had moved on their own and were fighting with Tohma's clothes, unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it down to reveal creamy shoulders. Then the lips were gone, the hand stopped and Hiro looked to see the man on his knees, mumbling something as he took in the sight of him. Hiro opened his mouth to say something, but the only thing that came out, was a deep-throated moan as the hot mouth swallowed him whole.

"Ah…" Hiro couldn't stop moaning, the sensation of wholeness was more than he could take. Never in his twenty-one years, had he felt anything like it. Sure he'd gotten sucked by girls countless of times, but this… this was heaven. He watched the head bobbing up and down as the beautiful man ate him desperately and completely, his wicked tongue doing things, lapping, flickering over the tip of his all too ready manhood.

"Hiro…" Tohma whispered against his sex. Looking up and meeting Hiro's glazed green eyes, as he pumped and flickered his tongue in exactly the place that made Hiro almost cry out.

The eyes that met his were clouded with pleasure, the pink tongue that flickered over his hard sex, felt deliciously hot. Hiro was almost at a point of no return, he deepened his eyes as if not knowing what to expect.

"Tell me what you want?" The man below whispered so sensually that it gave him chills… _what do I want…what do I want?_ Hiro thought, then everything came down to the wire, his reason returned to him and he felt ashamed of what he almost allowed to happen. _This is wrong!_ He was a man, and the one staring at him with misty eyes was a man as well… and a married man… _married to a woman!_

"This is wrong." Hiro whispered, "This is wrong!" he repeated with a little more conviction and tried to move away from those lips and hands that may very well drive him crazy. No sooner than he tried, two arms steeled him in place.

"No!" Tohma yelled, "Hiro, don't deny me, not after going this far!" Hiro desperately tried to flee, to break free from his grasp, but it was futile. As he struggled, they both fell on the floor.

"Let go of me," Hiro begged. If Tohma heard he didn't give a sign. The deceivingly strong man crawled on top of him, shaking his unbuttoned jacket and shirt off, and he lay on top of Hiro's half naked form, hot skin against hot skin.

"Don't do this… I beg you." Tohma implored.

"This is wrong," Hiro repeated lowly, all self-assurance gone.

"Why, why is it wrong… don't you like it… don't you need it?" Tohma begged coming to Hiro's lips and trying to capture them with his own.

"I'm not a toy, you can't come out of the blue and expect me to give in to you…I'm not…gay. Hiro breathed defeated, the battle already lost.

"You keep saying that, but you want this as much as I do… let me have you… please." Hiro tried weakly to shake him off, each attempt weaker and weaker, the only definite fact was the sensations Tohma's hot skin against his were causing, and the mixture of pleasure and guilt that was threatening to consume him alive.

Hiro felt the man shift, each subtle movement rubbing against his needy member sending him deeper and deeper into the road of perdition he didn't know the way back from. To his utter dismay Hiro realized what Tohma had been doing. Now the man lay on top of him completely naked, he could feel his shaft rubbing against his own.

"Please don't…" Hiro begged."

"I can't stop… don't want to stop," Tohma rasped grinding himself almost violently against Hiro's tortured body. "I can't take it anymore," The man whispered against his lips shuddering, each ragged breath sending shivers down Hiro's spine, he closed his eyes, refusing to behold the beautiful face twisted in pleasure. "I can't take it anymore," Tohma whispered again, and Hiro's eyes shot open as he was plunged into a hot and tight paradise he didn't know existed.

X

"Oh God…" whispered Tohma as he sat on Hiro's rigid sex. He closed his eyes waiting for the uncontrollable shuddering to subside. He was so big, reached him so deep. It was a totally different feeling from Eiri, who was seemingly bigger, but not nearly as intense. Two hands came to take a hold of his hips and Tohma completely lost it. He began moving slowly at first and with each stroke to his insides he felt the agony of sweet oblivion coming to claim him. He didn't want it to end… ever, but knew that he could not hold out for any decent length of time. Faster and faster he let himself rise and fall on his love… he was so close…so close. Tohma looked at Hiro's face, feeling his blood boil at seeing the usually unexpressive face contorted in the most exquisite mask of pleasure. As a small series of gasps reached his ears, and he came down gasping as he met those soft lips he'd dreamed for so long. And almost screamed at the stimulation the movement awarded him. They kissed for a long time, and then Tohma ran his hands over Hiro's toned torso, taking one of the hands from his hips and moving it to his own neglected shaft. Hiro opened his eyes a little wider, but soon began stroking him in rhythm to Tohma's movements.

X

Hiro's reason was slowly leaving him, and was being replaced with an animalistic need he'd never known. His hand stroked Tohma cruelly; he brought his other hand to Tohma's soft blond hair, and let his fingers run through it, realizing how much he had wanted to touch it. Gently he pulled those lips to his own again, he was not fighting it anymore, and just giving in to the pleasure he was feeling now. He'd deal with the consequences later. He began pumping faster, not wanting to end it but desperately needing to reach heaven. Tohma fastened his pace and they both gasped and moaned into each other's mouths, until there was nothing left but the sweet agony of pleasure itself.

They lay in each other's arms in silence long after it was over, each contemplating their own thoughts. Hiro, wondering where would this road lead him were he to follow it. And Tohma, listening to the soft thumping of the heart he so desperately wanted to possess.

XXX

They came to a two-story building, very elegant but not very impressive. Not standing out in any way. They went up an elevator in silence, Shuichi still not believing that he was standing next to the man he'd dreamed about since he could remember, each breath becoming very difficult for the young singer to manage. The elevator's door opened on the second floor revealing a very elegant hall, filled with paintings of the manga Shuichi knew and love. He gasped aloud eliciting—unnoticed to him—a small smile from the mangaka's lips. They walked the short distance to a door, which Yuki opened and stood to one side for him to enter.

"Anything to drink?" Yuki asked once inside, setting his keys down on a side table. Shuichi felt so small and vulnerable, and for the first time a little afraid.

"No, thank you," He managed to say. Yuki regarded him for a few seconds, then left, and Shuichi didn't waste time, his jaw dropped as he drank in his surroundings, marveling at the simple, yet very contemporary and elegant décor… _And the walls_! Filled with drawings and paintings, no doubt made by the master himself. Yuki came back with a can in hand, took a big gulp from it and set it down, turning again to leave.

"Come," He commanded this time, sounding a little detached. Shuichi followed watching entranced as his idol took off his jacket and threw it absently on a chair, every movement now free for the agitated singer to see. Yuki's limbs seemed to move deliberately slower than a normal person, almost cat like as he walked ahead. They came to a door and upon opening Shuichi almost gasped as he realized it was not a 'studio' it was a bedroom. He held on to the doorframe so as not to collapse. Yuki turned and fixed his now gleaming eyes on him. Shu took in the spacious surroundings a little apprehensively, the sparse space, the simple furnishings, the floor to ceiling window that illuminated everything even thought it was almost midnight. Shuichi's mind raced … _why would Yuki Eiri bring him to a bedroom?_ Although there was but one clear answer to that question, he dared not get his hopes up. _After all, why would Eiri want him?_

"Come in," Yuki commanded, softly this time, sensing Shuichi's hesitancy. Shu took a step in, all the while watching his god, and although his face was hidden by shadows, he fancied he could see his eyes, his smile. He came to stand right in front of him, not knowing what to expect. Then he felt a hand take a hold of his chin and bringing his face up, forcing him to meet the penetrating gaze.

"This is as much control as I can exert," And with those almost desperate words, Shuichi felt warm lips descend on his own. He didn't think twice, didn't stop to ponder on this miracle and opened up like a book. All the years of dreaming, desiring, worshiping came down to this very moment. He threw his arms around the broad shoulders and let go… who cares why or how… it's happening, and even if it's only for this one night, he will belong to Yuki, fully and completely.

Two strong hands held him and lifted him up. Parting lips, with full and suffocating lips. Shuichi was carried and thrown roughly on the bed, his shirt being torn off, as greedy hands and lips were all over his body.

_Yuki is touching me… kissing me!_ Shuichi let out a loud moan and took a hold of Yuki's head, relishing in the softness of that hair he had so yearned to touch

_Don't stop… don't ever stop…_ Shuichi's mind begged. His pants came off next and a gasp that was not his own, graced his ears echoing in his mind like the sweetest melody. Rough hands took a hold of his hard sex and began pumping the over stimulated organ.

"Where have you been all my life?" Yuki's hissed in a ragged voice kissing his whole face, Shuichi moaned again, his voice alone threatening to send him over the edge. He felt as if he would cry.

_This is a dream… it must be a dream, tomorrow I'll wake up in my bed like always._

Rough lips took his in a searing kiss that was almost painful and the hand continued to stroke him cruelly. "You're so beautiful…" Yuki whispered kissing his eyelids, cheeks… his whole face. Shuichi could do nothing but moan helplessly. Then the mouth made its way down his body and as realization hit him Shuichi opened his eyes wide, at the same time a hot mouth enveloped his very core.

"Ahh!" He almost screamed, arching his back and holding Yuki's head tighter. His hips thrusting on its own in perfect sync with the bobbing head of the owner of his soul.

Yuki devoured Shuichi almost savagely. He had sworn to control himself, but he found it impossible. All those weeks of imagining what it would be like to hold the beautiful intoxicating singer and do the cruelest things to him came from deep within to comman his body. Shuichi's hands tightened almost painfully on Eiri's hair, making the mangaka even more aroused. He could not remember ever feeling like this, never feeling the need to posses someone so fiercely.

"Don't stop… oh god don't ever stop!" Shuichi cried out, shaking his head from side to side. Sheer will being the only thing holding the explosion his body demanded for. The warm mouth left him and he almost cried at the loss. He felt his legs being spread apart as wide as they could go, and another loud moan from deep within Yuki's throat. Again those glorious lips devoured his own once again, letting him taste himself in them.

"Say my name," the voice that had plagued his dreams for years demanded in a husked plea, stroking him wildly.

"Ah Yuki… Eiri… God Eiri, make me yours." Shuichi could hardly articulate the words.

"Oh God… I want you so much…" And with those rough words a tearing pain shook Shuichi to the core, filling him, making him whole. He screamed in pleasure and pain. His eyes on the god above, drinking him in, watching and feeling his body shake with the intensity of their union. Yuki began to move, slowly at first, then faster and faster as both their bodies demanded release. Turning his head to one side, Shuichi moaned loudly as Yuki sucked his earlobe.

_Not yet… not yet…_ his mind implored his over stimulated body, he didn't want it to end, but knew that he wouldn't last long. He opened his eyes that had been shut tight; enjoying the sensations his body was feeling for the first time. Trying to focus his mind on anything, but the pleasure, he looked around, looking for something dull to put his mind on, he needed to hold his passion, to prolong this magical moment for as long as he could. But that thought was short lived, as he set his eyes on the wall ahead. There he stood, illuminated by the moonlight, as a fallen angel, painted in vivid colors watching his own earthly sin. With a feral roar everything inside him exploded.

X

Eiri heard Shuichi's seductive sex cry at the same time as hot seed sprayed on his body and face. The sound so arousing, the smell so intoxicatingly sweet, the hold of his inner passage so amazingly tight, that Eiri felt overcome with his own passion. Arching his back as the heat concentrated in his loins. He threw his head back and with what sounded almost like an animal growl… he climaxed into the very threshold of heaven, in a mind blowing orgasm he did not know his body could ever achieve.

Falling onto the body below, shuddering until the last vestiges of his passion subsided, Eiri rolled onto his back, bringing Shuichi to lie on top of him. He smirked at the boy who seemed disoriented, as if the pleasure had been too much for him. Eiri felt such feelings for him he couldn't explain it. Not even Tohma had been able to elicit such emotion from him. Smelling the soft hair, he kissed his head, nudging the young singer a little.

"Mmm…" Shuichi responded happily, contently.

"Don't fall asleep on me… we're not done yet."

XXX

A/N :Wew… OMG that took long to write! (Siren kisses her bandaged fingers) Well peoples, I hope you're happy, didn't I promise sexy get togethers? I decided to post the chapter as it was meant to be...so... don't report me

Oh and for those of you who found Yu and Shu's lemon short… fret not, the night is still young (hentai grin)

Next chapter will mark the beginning of the third part of this tale: **"Love Stuff" **In here you will get to see a little of Mikka and Yuki's as well as Tohma's past and also the impending reasons why the Mikas are even in the picture. There will be plenty of fights and uncertainties for our new couples, as well as a lot more drama… I LOVE ANGST! There is no name yet for the next chapter, so I guess I'll have to keep that as an involuntary surprise. Also since I like to have at least two chapters in the bank, I will be taking a couple of weeks off to catch up on the fic. Because of the length of this chapter I fell painfully behind.


	12. No Style

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation, or any anime/manga mentioned within this story

**R**for Yaoi, bad language and sexual situations.

I would like to give many thanks to **Deformography** for beta reading this for me

**Part III: Love Stuff**

Chapter Eleven **"No Style"**

"Eiri!" Mikka called to the annoyed mangaka. After the show ended, he dutifully had to talk to every single panelist, and the host of this stupid over-rated show. And although his talk with Miyamoto Shigeru proved to be very productive, he was in no mood to deal with nonsense… he had his prey to catch. "Eiri, would you please stop!" He did, not realizing that he had quickened his pace. God knew he had not the time to deal with Mikka or her foolishness at the moment; he turned to look at her and could immediately tell that she was angry, not that it mattered to him, but it would take even more time- which he didn't have- to get rid of her.

"What is it?" Eiri tried to hide his annoyance and play it cool, but was finding it to be a bit difficult.

"What do you _mean_ 'what is it?'" Mikka repeated, not bothering to hide her indignation from prying eyes. "What was _that_ about?" She asked, lowering her voice as she noticed eyes were turning their way.

"What are you talking about?" Eiri said in a cool voice, he had no intention of explaining himself to her; at this point, all of his worries were about catching Shuichi before he had time to leave the television studio.

"Eiri, stop it!" Mikka pursed her lips until the edges of her mouth were white—a habit she only showed when she was very frustrated or angry.

"I have to go." Eiri said simply, whilst looking over his shoulder, not wanting to get into it, and hoping she would just let him go. He turned to do so, but Mikka almost ran to catch him by the arm. Yuki turned to her, his eyes deepened in anger.

"What was that?" Mikka repeated, lower still. Eiri looked around at the increasing prying crowd and decided to honor her; after all, he doubted the boy was even in the building by now.

"The kid came to me. What did you expect me to do… embarrass him?" his voice cool and matter-of-fact, and just loud enough so that only she could hear.

"The Eiri I know would have without hesitation." Mikka replied nonchalantly.

"Well, he just caught me in a good mood."

"This will bring about a lot of talk," Mikka admonished lower still.

"Is that so?" asked Eiri sarcastically, noting the woman's ability to anger him on cue, "And here I thought you were jealous."

"…Of a high school boy?" Mikka bit back, not wanting to admit to herself that she was, in fact jealous.

"I don't care; you know very well I've never been very concerned with what people have to say. I'll let you handle it, since you're so good at it." Eiri gazed darkly at his fiancé.

She stared at him as well, and they stood as such for a long while, "Let's just go home." She finally said, sighing as the day's activities finally descended on her tired body.

"I told you, I have work to do," Eiri took her hand and slowly brought it to his lips, kissing it gently, as a truce of sorts. "I'll see you tomorrow. We'll go to dinner; I promise," He continued in a smooth seductive tone, which immediately showed the desired effect on Mikka…_You're so fucking predictable_… Yuki thought as he topped off his promise with a sexy smirk that finished melting her—as usual.

"I don't get you," Mikka said finally.

"You don't have to," Yuki replied in the same seductive husk. He kissed her forehead and turned to go before she could object.

XX

She watched Eiri walk away a little too fast for his usually elegant and composed manner. A dreadful thought crossed her, and in a second she made up her mind. Mikka would have never considered doing such, but the situation demanded it. Eiri was acting way too strange, and it was not only tonight, it'd been going on for weeks, maybe even months; she was not sure why she hadn't act upon her hunch, but now, the need to know _"why"_ was almost unbearable—no matter what she might discover, she needed to know. Waiting for Eiri to be out of sight, Mikka took off in the direction he had walked to, keeping close watch, but not close enough for him to see her. She followed him to where was clearly not outside, and froze when she heard him:

"Shuichi!" Eiri called aloud—_isn't Shuichi...?_ Mikka hid behind some lights and watched in horror as the singer of Bad Luck stood staring stupefied at her fiancé- _what on earth could Eiri possibly want with him? _Mikka's heart began beating faster. Why was she feeling like this? Like a teenager all over again, when she used to stalk Eiri everywhere he went. She took a closer look at the young singer and decided that he couldn't be more than nineteen, twenty at the most. Eiri walked closer to the kid and Mikka strained her ears in order to hear what he was saying.

"_Do you have anything to do now?"_ She gave a little gasp; never before had she heard that tone from Eiri. It seemed almost as if he were begging the kid for an answer. Quickly, Mikka covered her mouth so as not to be heard. Bad Luck's brat shook his head and gave a little whimper; if Mikka didn't know any better she'd say he was…blushing. _"I thought you might like to come over to my studio, to see some of my…work." _Continued her fiancé, in the same gentle tone; at this her heart sank. Eiri was inviting this… _child,_ to his studio, a place she'd never even been to. Mikka fought to keep the tears from falling. Why she felt the need to cry was beyond her. She knew, somehow knew in her heart what her rational mind wouldn't admit. Eiri said a few more words that she didn't even want to pay attention to, and at the moment, her pain was too great for her to even care.

As the two men began to walk away, she steadied herself and waited like she had before, making sure they were out of sight. Then she followed them to a side door, where Eiri's car was parked. Eiri opened the door for the kid—something he never did for her—got in the driver's side, and took off. Desperately, she looked around, not even brooding in what she intended to do; upon seeing no one who could aid her, she headed back to her dressing room.

"Mikka-san, I was looking for you! I thought you went home with Yuki-san." Mikka's assistant confronted her before she could make it into the room.

"I have no time, where is the car parked? Give me the keys!" Mikka snapped at the puzzled woman, every second playing against her.

"It's out back," The woman said as she took a set of keys out of her pocket and signaled to where the car was supposedly parked. Snatching the keys, Mikka ran to the back. She was sweating and panting by the time she made it to her car. With a little difficulty, she took off and drove in the direction she thought Eiri and brat had gone. Of course they were long gone; the way Eiri drove left little doubt of that. She wouldn't be surprised if they were already at his studio. She didn't even know where his apartment was. Every time she asked him about it, Eiri would change the subject in that smooth way of his.

Now a dreadful feeling formed in the pit of her stomach and crawled up to her throat in the form of bitter bile… what if Eiri had taken other women there? She shook her head immediately clearing those thoughts, just as another even more terrifying feeling crept in on her as she remembered the conversation between her love and that third rate singer.

…_It can't be possible!_ Mikka's mind screamed…_ It can't be possible! _And yet Mika's words about Tatsuha came to her as clear as crystal _"Father found him in a homosexual relationship…" _

She straightened and composed herself as she noticed she was shaking. After a few moments, she pulled out her cell-phone and dialed the familiar number. A couple of rings later, Mika Seguchi's sleepy voice could be heard.

"Hello," 

"Mika, it's me. Did I wake you?" Mikka tried her best to sound calm; the last thing she wanted to do was alert her friend of something being amiss.

"_Mikka, is that you…? Eh, don't worry about it. What is... is everything alright?"_ Her friend asked, obviously concerned.

"Yes, everything is fine. I take it you didn't watch 'First Stage?'"

"_No, did I miss something good?"_ Mika replied, now feeling more awake.

"Not really, but you'll probably find out about it tomorrow. Is Tohma around?"

"_You're asking if the man who allows me to be unfaithful, and who hasn't touched me in nearly a year is around at,"_ there was a pause, _"Eleven forty-five?"_ There was a short ironic laugh on the other end; Mikka could no help to feel sorry for her friend; for the first time she felt as if she truly could relate to her.

"Sorry I asked," Mikka smiled ironically to herself as well, "Maybe you can help me. Do you know where Eiri's studio is?" There was yet another pause.

"_You don't know?"_ Came the shocked question.

"No…"

"Sorry, I don't. Mikka, is everything alright?" 

"Yes, I just wanted to send him a painting I bought for him," Mikka said the first thing that came to her.

"_Mikka, don't lie to me. What's wrong?"_ Of course she could not fool her friend.

"I'll ask Tohma tomorrow," She said lowly as she hang up and turned the phone off, not wanting to get into any details and speculations about the whole thing with Eiri's own sister. There was only one thing she could do, and for that, she needed to be cool headed. Mikka sighed and drove home to her lonely apartment and empty bed.

XXX

The moon was still high in the sky. Yuki watched the lithe body next to his, his every subtle movement, the raising and falling of his chest with every breath he took. Slowly, Yuki brought a hand to the soft hair he'd yearned so much to touch. After their first desperate and demanding coupling, he'd left the boy to rest while he regained his reason and could enjoy more of what he'd obsessed about. Yuki ran his fingers through the soft locks, then bent to kiss Shuichi's forehead, then his nose, and his cheek; soon he was grazing his lips all over the youth's face, relighting the flame that had consumed him a couple of hours before.

"What are you doing to me?" voiced the mangaka softly as he made his way from Shuichi's jaw line to his earlobe. Yuki prided himself for having absolute control over his body and emotions, but in these past weeks, he found it harder and harder to suppress his desires where this kid was concerned. And now that he was finally lying on his bed next to him, Yuki felt fear; fear to fall in too deep, fear to let this boy he didn't know into his heart and wind up getting hurt. Shuichi's eyes fluttered open and he graced him a smile that took his very breath away.

"Yuki…" Shuichi whispered softly, as if he had fully expected him not to be there. Eiri took this as an invitation, parting Shu's soft lips with his own; Yuki began exploring the all too willing mouth of his young victim. Shuichi's arms came around Yuki, and his hot body pressed up against his, making him moan. They kissed long, tenderly at first, taking time to relish in what they could not before in their rush, and then as the fires within them lighted anew, the kiss became more frantic, more intense. They kissed with such urgency that it was almost painful. Eiri let his hand wander over Shuichi's heated skin, while the singer's hands ran through his hair and delicately touched his ears, making the mangaka moan even louder. Eiri had never cared for his ears being touched in any sort of manner, but in this case, it just felt too damn good to complain.

"Yuki…" Shuichi whispered again, his voice thick with desire. Yuki smirked evilly, parting his lips from Shu's, only to make his way down Shuichi's throat, to his collarbone, then his chest, then…

"No!" The boy all but shouted, grabbing hold of his head and pushing him away. Yuki's deep penetrating gaze met- almost angrily, the hazy, desire filled lavender one, but he said nothing.

"Let me do it!" Shuichi breathed pleadingly, pushing Yuki back on the bed, mimicking the long trail descent down to his god's aroused sex. "You smell so good." Shu said between nips and kisses to Yuki's stomach, eliciting an almost amused laugh from the mangaka.

"I smell like you." Eiri let out almost purring, as Shuichi's soft lips were feeling a bit too stimulating. He wanted it to last long, to pleasure his angel properly, but again his rising need threatened to take control of his actions. The pleasure was slowly blinding him, and taking away his reason.

"I've dreamed about you for so long," Shuichi, confessed, almost to the point of delirium, breathing heavily above Yuki's engorged sex, and then holding it as if it were the most precious thing in existence. Slowly, tentatively, he ran his tongue over the tip, his whole body shaking with the intensity of his desire. Yuki gasped and shuddered, bringing his hands to Shuichi's head, urging him to continue. Shuichi began running his hands along Yuki's thighs and hips and with his tongue he ran slow circles over the head of Yuki's sex. It was all he could do not to cry aloud. He wanted to give Yuki pleasure; to make him scream like he had, to take it slow, but it was still all too overwhelming. And, just as their first time, it seemed Shuichi was not going to hold out.

"God, kid… what are you doing to me?" Eiri breathed and pushed Shuichi's head again, as if to tell him to take him whole. Shu was all too happy to oblige. He took him in deep, the big organ touching the back of his throat… it was heaven incarnate. And even though this was the first time he ever did it, his body knew exactly what to do. Shuichi lost all reason and devoured his god as if his life depended on it. Yuki's loud moans and twitches fueling him all the more, to do it harder, faster, and deeper, if that were even possible. Shuichi's own throat emitting wild sounds that unbeknownst to him were driving his victim mad. Yuki took hold of his hips and pulled Shu to him; he couldn't even think, and when his lover's mouth took him in deep, he had to let go of his treasure to scream in pleasure.

"Oh God…Yuki!" He gasped repeatedly as he was consumed by the sensation of both devouring and being devoured. He felt a finger at his entrance and it all got to be too much. Arching his back, Shuichi roared as his orgasm hit him full throttle. "Oh God… Yuki…" He let out once more, and with his body shaking uncontrollably, he found himself being lifted, flipped over and thrown back onto the bed. He felt Yuki's hands taking his hips and lifting them while the rest of his body lay helplessly on the bed. Had Eiri Uesugi been able to see, he would have laughed at the idiotic expression on Shu's face, but at the moment he was too aroused to even care. Shuichi knew what was coming and he could not wait any longer for it. "Ahhh…" He let out arching his back, as a hard and hot shaft penetrated the most private part of himself, a part that now belonged fully and completely to the blond god.

"Sorry angel," Yuki grunted as he thrust forcefully, almost violently, "I won't last long; you have your tongue to blame for that," And with those chocked words and a few thrusts, a throaty, most beautiful sex cry made its way to Shuichi's ears and a heavenly heavy body fell on top of him.

XXX

Hiro walked into his room and threw himself on his bed heavily. What was he supposed to do now? He closed his eyes sighing loudly while replaying the whole event in his mind…Remembering how Tohma's hands felt on his body, his lips as they kissed his skin and lips, how he felt as they consummated what Hiro could only describe as a passion that crept onto them and consumed all reason.

"I'm fucking gay!" Hiro opened his eyes and stated what he so potently had tried to deny all these months. The admission was mainly to the empty room than to himself, for he knew. He had known all along.

"What the hell am I going to do?" He whispered not knowing the answer. Will things be the same? Would he have the guts to see Tohma again? Would Tohma even want to see him? Of one thing Hiro was sure, he could _not_, under any circumstance, let anyone know about his transgression. _Especially_ Shuichi. Hiro got up and went to his friend's room to let him know he was back…Not that he had to give him any account, but he felt kind of bad; they were supposed to ride back together. Hiro knocked twice and then let himself in; his obnoxious friend was known to sleep through anything. The room was empty.

"Damn, is he still waiting for me?" Hiro cursed aloud, although it was highly unlikely, and he hadn't seen anyone around when the cleaning crew came to kick him and Tohma out, but Shuichi… well he _was_ Shuichi after all. Getting his cell phone out and checking his messages he realized there was not a single one from his friend. Hiro dialed, waited a few rings and didn't bother to leave a message when Shu's voice mail came on. He went back to his room refusing to worry about it more than he had to. He was not in the mood to brood on the whereabouts of his 'old enough to take care of himself' friend.

Again he found himself remembering Tohma and what lay ahead. Not before long, Hiro arrived to the conclusion that it had been a mistake, granted, a very pleasurable mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. He decided right before the day's weariness came to claim him into deep slumber that he and Tohma Seguchi could simply not be.

XXX

All night they explored each other, tenderly, desperately, and fiercely. Shuichi couldn't think straight anymore, he wasn't sure whether he was dreaming or if it was really happening. Yuki Eiri was on top of him, loving him, kissing him, and doing all the things he'd fantasized over the years- and some he hadn't even conceived possible. And all he could do was submit himself blindly. He could not get enough of it, of him, of touching him, of running his fingers through the silky blond hair he'd dreamed so obsessively about.

"Yuki…" Shuichi called for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, and the mangaka brought his lips to his and kissed them tenderly as he quickened his pace, making Shuichi let out a deep throated moan. "I can't believe this is happening," Shu managed to say in a series of choked gasps as he was nearing his climax. Yuki broke the kiss and bit his earlobe tenderly, then sucked it and blew on it, making Shuichi literally see stars. Heaven's doors opened once more to let him glimpse pleasure as never before. Arching his back, Shu came, for what… _the fifth time?_ As his growls subsided, he caught the most beautiful sight of Yuki's head thrown back, eyes half misted, mouth barely open as he came to his own peak. Falling on top of him, they held each other for a long time as they waited for their thumping hearts to slow down. Shuichi turned his head to the side and again stared, fascinated at his own image in the giant portrait that adorned the wall.

"When did you paint that?" He asked lowly, testing the grounds. Since they started to make love there had not been too much room for conversation, and he was not sure whether Yuki would appreciate it or not.

"Go to sleep." Yuki responded somewhat dryly, after about a minute or so, Shuichi felt seriously disappointed but said nothing and continued to stare at the painting. Yuki got up and walked to the window, grabbing something from the side table. Shu soon discovered as Eiri lit a cigarette that their intimate session was over… _fuck; I had to go and ask that?_ Shuichi admonished himself. He watched him smoke while looking out the window, every movement so sensual, so mesmerizing, and so flawlessly perfect. Shu wanted to commit to memory, every magical second, every detail of this night that he feared was coming to an end. He wanted to ask him so many things, to hear his deep sensual voice one more time, but the realm of dreams was slowly pulling him under its spell. The last thing he remembered as he lost consciousness were those glorious honey colored eyes turning to meet his.

XXX

Eiri watched the sleeping form of his angel. He was truly beautiful, and not only that, he had been untouched, he didn't know how, but he knew this. _"Were you waiting for me?"_ Yuki smiled, really smiled at the thought; then as if remembering that he was supposed to be a heartless asshole, he deepened his eyes almost hatefully, "What are you doing to me?" He asked at the sleeping figure in bed. He shifted his gaze back to the moon outside, then sighed and went to the nightstand to retrieve his only friends from the drawer. He went to sit on the only chair in the room and sighed again as he began to draw. Every curve, every loose strand of hair as it fell on the serene face, even with his eyes closed the expressiveness was short of remarkable. Yuki felt an overwhelming feeling of warmth, an inexplicable need to keep this boy by his side. It terrified him to need him so, he was not used to this wanting, this vulnerability: never allowing himself to grow attached to anything or anyone other than his pencil and pad. He told himself that he didn't need it, didn't need anyone. Tohma had been the only one who ever got close to his real self, the self who felt fear, sadness, need, loneliness; the self that he would never show anyone else. But it had taken time, time this boy hadn't had the luxury to share. And yet Yuki felt an inexorable dependency.

He stood and went inside to lie on the sofa. As much as he wanted to ponder on these things… next to the boy, and feel the warmth of his body, he did not. He had to figure out a way to let Shuichi off swiftly and painlessly. But right now, he could not bring himself to think about it. He had to sleep; his eyes were already feeling heavy. The last thing he thought about were those lavender eyes, half misted as their owner climaxed in his arms for the first time.

XXX

Shuichi woke up on a bed that wasn't his own. He looked around and the first thing that caught his eye was the immense painting on the far wall facing the bed_… it was not a dream._ Shuichi smiled. It was high noon and the sunlight bathed the whole room. He took the pillow and hugged it tight, smelling the musky aroma of Yuki Eiri.

He got up noticing with another smile that he was incredibly sore in the posterior area. He made his way to the painting and examined every little detail.

"Amazing…" Shuichi whispered in awe, as he traced his own face. A surge of love so great washed over him that he had to wipe away a tear that formed in the corner of his eye. To think that the man he had loved for so long knew he existed, and on top of that had dedicated days, maybe even weeks to paint this perfect recreation from the video of the song he wrote for him so long ago. He brought the pillow he was still holding to his nose, once again breathing in Yuki's scent. He wanted to see him, to kiss him so badly it was painful.

"Yuki…" He whispered and ran to look for him, then stopped realizing he was still naked. Looking around he saw a white shirt thrown on the floor, Shuichi took it and clad himself with it, and walked out of the room in search of Yuki.

He sauntered inside the spacious apartment and almost stopped breathing when he saw Yuki lying on the sofa, sound asleep. He made his way over and planted a soft kiss on the barely parted lips. The hazel eyes opened immediately, vague and absent at first, then hardened as they met Shuichi's.

"Morning," Shu whispered tracing Yuki's face, pushing a lose strand of hair out of the mangaka's face.

"What time is it?" Yuki sat up rubbing his eyes, ignoring the greeting.

"I don't know," Shuichi replied, a little hurt. Yuki straightened and turned to get his cigarettes, lighting one and inhaling a deep drag from it.

"You know is bad to smoke so early in the morning, especially when you haven't eaten anything." Yuki shifted his cold gaze towards Shu, then took another long drag and blew the smoke just avoiding Shuichi's face. The singer fell silent and looked around uncomfortably. "Do you want me to make you some coffee?" Not knowing whether Yuki drank any but wanting to be of help.

"Just because I fucked you once doesn't mean you're my wife." Yuki said coldly, almost angrily. At this Shuichi couldn't hide his hurt.

"Of course not… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to impose." He replied lowly after the shock and pain passed. He waited for Yuki to finish his cigarette, all the while thinking for something clever to say to make his love smile. "It was more like five times," Shu joked.

"What?"

"You know… we fucked five times." Yuki's face hardened and Shuichi immediately regretted having said that. A phone rang and the handsome mangaka shifted his eyes to it. Shu sighed and went back to fidget with the end of Yuki's shirt.

"Eiri here," Yuki answered the phone in the deep sensual voice that gave Shuichi the chills. With a series of grunts and short sounds, Shu gathered that whoever he was talking to, was asking a series of questions and that the hmphs and grunts were really 'yes' and 'no' "Yeah, he's here." Yuki said and Shuichi snapped his head to him… _was Yuki referring to him, and who the hell knew?_ Getting up and lighting another cigarette, Yuki handed him the phone and without a word walked back into the room.

"Hello…" Shuichi asked tentatively assuming the worst. _Maybe it was Mikka Costa… or maybe even Hiro; God please let it not be Hiro…_ Shu prayed while he waited.

"Did you have fun?" Came Seguchi Tohma's voce. Shu almost dropped the phone from shock… when… how? But then he remembered Tatsuha saying that his boss was married to his and Yuki's sister, which meant the love of his life and his boss were actually family.

"Yes…" Shu let out not sure what he was expected to say.

"Good, so now the fun is over and you need to get yourself over here. Everyone is waiting for you." _Shit!_ He had forgotten all about work. But how did Seguchi-san know to call Yuki's phone number? It was all so puzzling, and if he started thinking about it, he would give himself a headache.

"Yes Seguchi-san, I'll be over right away," Then hesitantly, he asked, "how did you know I was here?" he was too curious not to ask.

"Who do you think told him you'd be at the show last night?" And with that confession, his boss hung up. Shuichi smiled from ear to ear and ran into the room. He heard the shower going and thought about getting into it with his love, but then he remembered how cold he'd been, and how he looked at him when he handed him the phone. Sighing, he put on his own clothes and left without saying goodbye.

XXX

HAPPY VALENTINES!

I hope you like the chapter, I know I took a little long, but I had other things going, hopefully this will be the ONLY brak I take from this fic. Now:

A/N: That Yuki is sure an ass, I mean… c'mon! Why can't he just admit he's developing feelings for the boy and live happily ever after? I tell you, he is one complicated dude.

Next Stop: **Anti Nostalgic**: we'll have a little tiny look into the past of a certain pair, and the much awaited reunion of Hiro and Tohma. Also some Tatsu mischievousness on the way don't miss it.


	13. Anti Nostalgic

  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

**R**for Yaoi, language, adult material and sex.

This week I must apologize to my readers, as I had no beta for this chapter. I went over it twice and corrected any and all mistakes I could see, still, if there is any left… GOMEN NASAI… HONTO NI GOMEN NASAI bows profusely

**Chapter Twelve: Anti Nostalgic**

Mikka lay in bed staring at the ceiling. In the past few hours, she'd learned more about her seemingly perfect life than she could even begin to digest. It suddenly made so much sense. Eiri's coldness, distance, disinterest. The apartment that even thought she knew existed; she'd never set foot in, or didn't even know where it was for that matter. Slowly, she brought her left hand up to stare at what she had thought was the proof of his love and devotion. The ring she had so wanted, and up until a few hours ago, had thought to be so beautiful and meaningful, but now seemed so grotesque and tacky.

With all her might Mikka wanted to dismiss everything as a misunderstanding, some horrible mistake of her overworked and lonely mind, but as the hours passed and she had more time to put all the pieces of this puzzle together, the little details that should have bothered her throughout the years, she realized that it was not simply her imagination playing tricks on her. There must be some truth behind it all. She now had little doubt that the man who literally ruled her existence has been or is been unfaithful to her.

"_Why Eiri… aren't I enough?"_ The question was whispered to the four walls that surrounded her, the four walls that had seen her in happiness, loneliness, misery and despair, the ones that knew her better than anyone. Mikka closed her eyes and went back to a time when she had been truly whole, a time she wished she could go back to and re-write the chapters of her false existence.

_**xxxFlashbackxxx**_

"Hi!" Mikka came to school extra early to make sure she got to Uesugi Eiri first. Since he transferred to her school, he'd been the obsession of every single girl on campus. Mikka herself had changed from all business, strict to the bone, and unapproachable, to an obsessive, bordering to stalker empty-headed girl; the same kind she had hated with all her being not too long ago.

The upcoming school festival was only a week away and she knew Eiri had rejected every bold invitation made to him to the bonfire afterwards.

She stood right next to him on tiptoe, staring up at his beautiful profile, and even like that, he seemed like a giant compared to her. He shifted his deep gaze to look at her for a few seconds, then back to the blackboard as he erased the writing on it. Mikka wasn't surprised or offended by this reaction, she knew first hand, that no one could get two words out of the extremely elusive blond Uesugi god. "I was wondering if you'd like to come to the festival bonfire with me?" Mikka chirped enthusiastically, only to be ignored, "I know a lot of girls have asked you already, and I know you haven't accepted any invites yet." Again Eiri shifted his eyes to her, and then back to the board. Mikka pursed her lips and decided to try another approach. " I have to come. As the student body president, is my duty to attend, I normally wouldn't, because I find these type of events boring. But… you know how it is," she continued trying to sound casual, " Of course I will need someone to help me, you know… to carry materials, supervise the events, to make sure everyone is in their best behavior… you know, that sort of thing." She slapped herself inwardly for sounding like such a dumb blonde; but god knew she had no control over her actions where Eiri Uesugi was concerned, bracing herself for the worst, she was surprised when he didn't say anything at first. He shifted his gaze back to her after a while, keeping his eyes on hers a little longer, and then moved from the board over to the teacher's desk, and began cleaning it without saying a word. Mikka followed him hopeful, he hadn't told her to go to hell yet, which was a good thing. "So do you want to help me?"

"No" came the crisp reply, startling her.

"Why?" She was truly disappointed, but refused to show it. Instead, Mikka made a little bow to herself; she would pest him until he had no choice but to accept.

"Because I don't want to." Eiri replied not even bothering to make up a lame excuse.

"Why not? C'mon it'll be fun" Mikka took his arm for emphasis, but the look of pure contempt Eiri gave her, made her back away, a little afraid, then he kept on with his task as if she weren't even there. She planned her next words carefully. "I know that…"

"Why are you stalking me?" Eiri asked suddenly, cutting her off. He sounded angry even; the first time Mikka heard any emotion in his usually toneless deep voice. She blinked, taken aback, not knowing what to say.

"I'm not…" She began defending herself, but she suddenly realized that she was in fact stalking him. "I just want to be your friend," She replied lowly, looking down while playing with her hands.

"I don't want any friends." Eiri stated after considering her reply.

"Is it so bad to be able to talk to someone, to trust, to be able to rely on others? I'm not sure why you are the way you are, I know you must have your reasons, but its wrong! Everyone needs friends." Mikka pleaded as if she was in front of a jury, and Eiri was the judge.

"What is it to you?" Eiri asked in an even angrier tone, she should have been afraid, but she wasn't. She wanted to reach deep down and grab his heart with her bare hands and squeeze it, until all the ice around it melted to reveal the real Uesugi Eiri that must be buried within somewhere.

"Because I care!" She yelled. With shocked eyes, Eiri regarded her for a full minute without saying a word, before turning and heading to the student desks to clean them as well. Mikka stood on the spot, a tear running down her face. She was crying, not for the rejection, but for the man who was much too young to be so lonely and bitter. She decided then and there that no matter what the cost, she would break the ice, she would make him see that there was so much he was missing. Then embarrassed that he had seen her cry, she ran out of the room.

_**xxx End of Flashback xxx**_

"Yuki came out of the shower to find Shuichi gone. "Hmph, so the kid can't take rejection," he half mused feeling a bit disappointed- but refusing to acknowledge it- while drying his hair with a towel. He walked to his cigarettes, and as he took them, saw the bright red light of his cell blink rapidly, telling him he had several messages. No doubt it was Mikka with her foolishness. He lit up a smoke, again, regretting the kid being gone, but knowing it was for the best. Pushing that thought out of his mind quickly, he sat down and grabbed the apparatus to see what the woman wanted. Looking at the screen, he was a bit taken aback to see Mikka had left thirty five messages in the space of two hours, there was also a couple from his annoying sister as well. There were no Tohma messages, which meant there was no emergency. Yuki listened to the first couple that said nothing other than "_call me_", he erased them all rolling his eyes, not even bothering to listen to his sister's calls. "What the hell am I doing wasting so much time… I'm so fucking late with Kenshin…" Yuki whispered to himself lamenting, most likely he would have to work all day, and pull an over nighter to have it ready. Although the delay had been worth it, he did have millions of fans to answer to after all. With a small smirk, he remembered Shuichi's lithe body under his, and the intoxicating moans of the singer. Yuki shook his head roughly to push the intruding thoughts away. He could not afford to get so caught up with Shuichi.

Yuki sighted, and dialed Mikka's number—god only knew that she would not let him work in peace until he called- before the first ring was over she was on the line.

"_Eiri?" _

"What is it?" he asked dryly, a little too dry.

"I kept calling and calling."

" I noticed, I thought someone died… I told you I have a lot of work, I'll see you later today, I'm sure whatever it is can wait until then." There was silence at the other end.

"_Sure, it was nothing really, I just thought you'd be up and I wanted to say good night."_ To this Yuki raised a brow… thirty five times just to say goodnight? _"So we're still on for dinner?" _Mikka asked after a few seconds, she sounded surprised actually.

"Didn't I promise?" Yuki replied- the fact that she was acting strange not escaping him.

"_Alright, I'll see you later then, bye,"_ and then a second later _"And Eiri… I love you."_

"See you later," he said hanging up, he looked at the phone a second or two, trying to make any sense out of the whole conversation, then sighted and set it down.

Damn, I have so much work to do!" He admonished himself for procrastinating so much instead of just getting it over with. But even as he thought this, he walked to the TV and sat down to watch his _"Bad Luck: Full Access"_ DVD.

XXX

Hiro walked into the studio at around noon. Suguru was already rehearsing some of the songs from their upcoming album. He liked the kid, he was so young, but very professional and dedicated. It seemed as if, it had been yeas ago that he had had a problem with their 'trust', now it seemed as if Suguru had been part of the band all along and that they couldn't do without him. In short, the kid was everything some obnoxious lead singer Hiro knew—who of course wasn't around- could ever hope to be.

Hiro wondered mildly where Shuichi was at the moment; he went by his room before leaving to make sure he had gotten home safely, but he had not been there. As much as it annoyed him, Hiro was beginning to worry; it was very unlike Shu to spend the night out, and without telling him on top of that. Hiro then smiled as he thought that Shuichi might have a girlfriend stashed somewhere. Then pushed the though, remembering that in all the years he knew Shuichi, he'd never met such a lucky gal… or pal.

"Hiro-kun!" Suguru yelled as soon as he spotted him, bringing Hiro out of his thoughts of Shuichi's "loveless" love life. Hiro waved back and walked to get his guitar. "Tohma-kun came down looking for you," Suguru chanted a little too suggestively. Which made it almost impossible for Hiro to suppress a blush cross his features- a blush that Suguru didn't miss. "He asked me to tell you to come to his office as soon as you got here," The blush grew deeper and so did Suguru's smirk. Hiro sighted and put his guitar down, he would have to deal with it sooner or later, and he supposed that sooner was the way to go.

"Thanks," Hiro muted heading to the elevator.

"Isn't Shu with you?" Suguru asked as if remembering there _was_ another member in the band.

"When does he ever comes in early with me as he should?" Hiro replied sarcastically, making Suguru smile knowingly and roll his eyes. "I shouldn't be long, I'll call him when I come back, just keep practicing dude." The nervous guitarist said dismissively and walked away.

X

"Morning," Tohma's face lit up as soon as Hiro walked into his office. His assistant, left the office soon as she opened the door for him, apparently having been told to do so. "How did you sleep?" Tohma asked still smiling, as he walked to Hiro and put his arms around the longhaired guitarist's neck, and giving him a small peck on the lips. Hiro shuddered as he felt the softness of Tohma's lips on his own, again, the memories of the night before came full force, making a certain part of his anatomy react. Tohma noticed and smiled wider and sweeter, nuzzling on Hiro's chest. Hiro had come only to tell the man they couldn't 'continue' what they so thoughtlessly started, but the man's happy smile, soft lips, and mild perfume Hiro could still smell on himself, melted him all at once. And without meaning to, Hiro wrapped his arms around Tohma's small waist- a gesture; the blond man took as an invitation, to kiss Hiro's lips again. This time slowly and thoroughly, exploring the mouth, he'd had no time to pay proper attention to the night before.

It went on for a long time. Slowly, Hiro brought a hand to Tohma's wavy hair, threading his fingers through it, then holding the back of his head, to bring him closer. Tohma deepened the kiss and slowly pushed Hiro towards one of the sofas in the spacious office. Straddling Hiro once he fell on it. Breaking the kiss, the seemingly innocent producer threaded his fingers through Hiro's hair as well.

"I thought you'd fight me today as well, I was ready for war." Another peck on the lips and a smirk followed the soft-spoken words.

"I was going to… but what's the use?" Hiro replied resigned to the fact the he was inexorably attracted to the man, that in all aspects—except for having wings—resembled an angel, "We'll play it by ear." The longhaired guitarist added, allowing the sensations his body was starting to feel take dominance of his actions. Running his hands down Tohma's back, Hiro kissed him again, then with a trail of nips and little pecks, he made his way down the pale throat. Tohma threw his head back to give him full access, A little moan escaping his lips, as Hiro unbuttoned his shirt to go lower still.

"This isn't what I called you for…" Tohma breathed playfully, but Hiro was too far gone to pay him any mind. A phone rang, and for a moment, neither man heard it. Until it became apparent that it would not stop ringing until it was answered. Hiro with an annoying groan realized it was his phone making the infernal noise.

"You should answer that," Tohma smiled nipping Hiro's nose, "It may be your girlfriend." Hiro looked confused for a moment, then remembered about Maiko

"Or maybe is your wife calling with a warning that we must stop before we fall too deep, and she'd have to kill me." Tohma didn't look too amused at the remark at first, but soon broke into another breathtakingly beautiful smile. Hiro took the phone out of his pocket and rolled his eyes upon seeing whom it was.

"What do you want?" He asked curtly, mad that Shuichi wouldn't tell him where he went after the show, but quick to call from who knows where to interrupt his make out session with—as much as Hiro hated to admit—his gay lover.

"_I need a ride."_ Shuichi replied without any prelude.

"You what!" Hiro couldn't believe the bastard's nerve. He glanced at Tohma, who listened to this exchange with a worried expression. Hiro brought his hand to the man's face, and delicately caressed his cheek to reassure him.

"_I need a ride, please Hiro, I'll explain later."_ Hiro realized his friend sounded somewhat stressed, and decided to drop it for now.

"Alright, but don't think I won't ask where you were."

"_Thanks..."_ Shu whispered.

"Where are you?"

"_I don't know exactly, the street sign reads, "Kamagura Michi"_ Shuichi said reading the sign at the intersection, _"I'm at the intersection of that road and Hibia Dori."_

"Kamagura Michi and Hibia Dori… I don't know where that is… call a cab." Hiro began grouchily.

"_I don't have my wallet on me… Hiro please."_

"I'll send my chauffer to get him." Tohma interrupted taking the phone from Hiro's hands. "Shuichi-kun, stay where you are, I'll have Tomoe get you." He spoke into the receiver.

"_Seguchi-san!"_ Shuichi exclaimed shocked, wondering what his friend, and the producer he swore to the world he hated were doing in the same room. _"Please don't tell Hiro about…"_ He didn't have to guts to finish from fear that Hiro might be listening.

"Don't worry I won't, but let's get you here, so you can go back to work,"

"_Thank you Seguchi-san."_ Shuichi said as he hanged up.

XXX

Yuki spent all day thinking about Shuichi. He could not believe, the boy was already so etched in his mind as to not allow him to concentrate in his drawings. All the mangaka could think about were, the boy's full luscious lips, soft hair, arousing scent, and long limbs around him. It was driving him crazy. He lit up another cigarette and puffed at it almost aggressively, then putting it off before it was done He could not allow things to progress any further than they already had. He could not become more dependent on this kid, who held a power over him, the boy better not know he possessed. Sighting, Yuki light up yet another cigarette and puffed angrily, while staring at the painting he should have never hanged by his bed—or painted for that matter.

"You'll be the end of me if I let you…" Yuki sighted, mad at himself for not realizing how deep he was falling. He went back to his drawings, and again found himself thinking about the feline boy, whose intoxicating scent still lingered all over that place. Rolling his eyes, Yuki decided that it would be futile to even try and get his work done. He needed to distract himself, to be around other people, so he wouldn't have to think about Shuichi, "… _lucky you Mikka, you're the only one I got."_ Yuki smirked ironically, and getting his phone, he placed the call to his manager, Onizuka, who of course was gone for the day.

Leaving a hasty massage and hanging up. He begrudge himself at how sorry he had to be, if he needed someone else to finish what he normally wouldn't allow anyone to touch… _his art_.

Yuki put his cigarette out, and grabbing his keys went out the door… he had a promise to fulfill.

_**xxx Flashback xxx**_

The festival had been a success naturally. Mikka wanted nothing more than to go home and fall on her bed clothed and all. She was so tired… and disappointed. After the episode with Eiri in their homeroom, he had not spoken a royal word to her. And for the first time, she'd been thankful for it. The embarrassment came back every time she saw him in class.

"Mikka-sempai!" a lower grade student called to her, Mikka stopped walking and waited for her to catch up, "Souma sensei asked me to get you," The girl panted, catching her breath.

"Right now?" Mikka asked, she was so tired, she couldn't even think straight… _couldn't the man wait until the morning?_

"He said before the bonfire ends," The girl looked around, spotting a group of friends and waiving to them.

"Thank you," Mikka replied, and the girl went running to meet the group. "Let's get it over with…" Mikka sighted and made her way to the teacher's office.

"Hey!" Another voice interrupted her thoughts—a male voice this time—"You don't look like you're having fun." She turned rolling her eyes… Youji always seemed to find her, no matter where she hid.

"I'm a little worn out. Actually, I was called by Souma sensei, and then I'm going home," Mikka replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, why? Aren't you staying for the bonfire?" The sleek boy asked getting a little too close to her.

"I already said I'm going home." Walking a little faster to avoid looking at him, Mikka kept on straight, hoping Youji would take that as an end to their conversation.

"I was actually looking forward to spend some time with you." The way he said it, gave Mikka the chills. As graduation neared, his attempts to get her were bold and bordering indiscreet.

"Well, sorry to disappoint Youji…"

"Can I walk you home then?"

"No, thank you."

"Why not?" Mikka tried to look for an answer that would not sound extremely rude. She knew a girl who had dated the rich boy, and she had nothing good to say about him… and his temper.

"Because she's walking home with me." Mikka's heart stopped, she looked up, and saw her dream materialized right in front of her eyes. Uesugi Eiri stood, by the fountain, wearing all black. He looked amazing. With a smile from ear to ear, Mikka went to him and stood looking up to his hazel eyes.

"I didn't know you two…" Youji said glaring in contempt. It was a known fact that Mikka liked him, as did every other girl…but Uesugi had never paid mind to any of them.

"Well now you know," The tall blonde senior replied, and offered his arm for Mikka to take. She did, almost passing out from happiness. Youji fell back, not wanting to get involved with the tall guy. The heir to the Uesugi shrine had only been involved in one fight since he transferred- but had sent the other kid to the hospital, marking himself dangerous. Youji looked after the girl he'd obsessed about since ninth grade and kicked the ground angrily as she walked away.

"I can't believe you came!" Mikka exclaimed once they were far enough. "I'm so happy!"

"Yeah well, I had nothing to do…" Eiri replied tonelessly.

"Thank you, this means a lot to me." Mikka whispered relishing in the feel of Eiri's toned arm.

"I wasn't looking for you, you just happen to walk by, I know that kid is up to no good." Eiri said simply.

"I don't care if you weren't looking for me… we're together now, so you better be ready to have a good time!" Eiri gave her a puzzled look.

"I hope you don't mean sex, because I just had a fight with my… significant other."

"Of course not! What do you think I am?" that had been exactly what was on her mind, then her face grew grim, " I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"Why wouldn't I.? I'm good looking." There was no pretension whatsoever in those words.

"I guess… did you break up?"

"I don't know."

"Why did you fight?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok… so you want to go karaoke? Another baffled look from Eiri told her that wasn't a good idea

"About we go to my house?" He asked matter-of-factly, and she felt like crying.

_**xxx End of Flashback xxx**_

Mikka jumped out of the couch as soon as she heard the key, she had waited all day, but knew better than to call her fiancé when he was working. Of course the seemingly endless hours served her to remember old times, and put her thoughts back together. And in the end, love won over all else, and she decided that whether Eiri had been unfaithful or not, their relationship was worth a lot more than any little whore that might have thrown herself at _her_ man. Mikka, decided not to mention anything, but to watch closely—for the first time- her fiancé's activities.

Eiri walked into the room, meeting her anxious gaze. "Sorry I'm late," He said in a cool voice as he walked to her, "So… where are we going?" Mikka met him half way and got on tiptoe to kiss him, putting her hands around his neck. She was surprised when he kissed her first. She closed her eyes and let herself go limp in his arms; it had been so long since he'd done anything like that. Mikka felt lightheaded from the depth of the passionate kiss. Eiri was spearing no part of her body and soul with the mind numbing exploration of her mouth. Breathlessly, she had to break it, before she passed out then and there.

"Eiri…" Mikka breathed not able to say anything else, he seemed unaffected as always. "What was that about?" she managed to say.

"Is it that unusual that I would kiss my fiancé?" Mikka gasped, that was the first time he actually said the word when referring to her.

"No… I mean…" She was at a loss for words. Eiri deepened his gaze to that seductive stare that melted everyone he gave it to, then took her in his arms and carried her back to the couch, throwing her on it roughly, and promptly ravishing her, as he hadn't done in years.

"Eiri… Tatsuha might come!" Mikka laughed like a schoolgirl, while Eiri sucked her ears- _the way Shuichi had to him-_

"Let him come, he might learn something."

XXX

Onizuka sat at his desk staring at the phone; the called he had received earlier in the day was disturbing to say the least. That, and the series of events that unfolded throughout the day left him much to think about. Replaying the whole thing in his mind, the overworked manager tried to make sense to it all.

X

"Did you see First Stage last night?" Upon entering the busy studio, he was asked by one of the inkers. Onizuka had not time for such trivialities. Especially since Yuki-san was already late with Rurouni Kenshin. Their boss was acting stranger by the minute and it was showing in his work. Onizuka wondered if it finally all the pressures were claiming the reserved mangaka's reason.

"No, why would I want to see that?" He replied somewhat dryly, anxious to get to his office and place a very much-feared call to the man.

"Well you missed something alright!" everyone seemed to be very exited for some reason.

"I doubt it," Onizuka replied without stopping.

"Yeah, Costa Mikka -san was there for an interview," Someone else began, "And there was this new pop band Bad Luck playing, and you won't believe what happen! Yuki-san came out from back stage to watch them play, then the lead singer came to the panel and hugged Yuki-sama… and he HUGGED him back!" To this Onizuka stopped, turning to them.

"You must be mistaken." Onizuka knew how much Yuki-san disliked being touched in any kind of way.

"As if you could mistake Yuki-sama, and you should have seen Costa-san, she looked like she wanted to kill the poor boy, then Yuki-san autographed the singer's shirt and hugged him AGAIN! Onizuka-san what world do you live in, this is the only thing everyone is talking about, even the radio stations are taking calls about it."

"Well that isn't any of our business, besides we have a lot of work to do, we're already late with Kenshin." Onizuka brushed the unbelievable event not wanting to pry, but feeling a bit more disturbed than he should. He left the staff to their gossip and went into his office to call Yuki-san. As he sat at his desk, he listened to his messages, scared out of his skin upon coming to a heart stopping one.

"Eiri here… call me ASAP." Onizuka took the phone immediately and dialed the seldom-used number. His heart beating so fast, it couldn't be healthy. His boss came on the line a few seconds later.

"Onizuka where were you?" The man snapped angrily "I'm sending a messenger with the material I have for Kenshin, I won't have time to get it done, have Makoto finish it, he's good enough, make sure he follows my specific instructions to the letter or its your job, I'll be over before printing to go over it and approve it," And the line went dead, before the shocked and confused manager could say anything.

X

As Onizuka sat still replaying it all, again a bad feeling crept in on him. Yuki Eiri never allowed anyone to draw his manga. The manager wiped his brow, remembering with a chill a couple of months back, when Makoto had done two filler pages. And now, the man was giving the task himself. To say he was acting strange was not even close… but why, and how will these changes affect the company?

What is going through your mind Yuki-sama… what is going through your mind?"

XXX

Mikka hummed her latest song, as she got ready to for her 'date' with Eiri. After enjoying the hottest love making session in years, they decided upon that little French restaurant they used to love back when they first moved in together.The phone rang, and she dashed to her bedside table to get it.

"Hello?" Mikka sang.

"I'm glad to hear you sounding so happy, you left me worried last night." Mika replied from the other end.

"Oh yes, I am very happy, but I'll tell you all about it later, Eiri and I are getting ready to go out to dinner."

"You're joking!"

"Not at all," Mikka beamed.

"I wish Tohma would come around and take me out once in a while too," came the lament from the other side.

"Who is that?" Eiri walked in the room, looking amazing. It literally made Mikka's mouth water.

"Your sister," Mikka replied admiring him openly.

"Hmph!" Eiri sat on the bed.

"Is that Eiri?" Mika asked from the other end, "Pass him the phone," she commanded.

"What?" Eiri replied once given the apparatus.

"I don't know what bug bit you, but I'm coming with, I'm on my way to NG, come get us there." Eiri rolled his eyes, but in reality was glad Tohma would be there.

"Does he know this?" He asked sarcastically, almost laughing at the silence on the other end.

"Just come to NG and get us," and Mika hanged up, Eiri set the phone down and turn to Mikka.

"Change of plans, we have to go get the happy couple at the NG building." Mikka looked disappointed, but said nothing. Getting up, Eiri walked to the door and said over his shoulder. "You look fine, let's go"

XXX

"Seguchi-san, Mika-san is here to see you." Usagi called at the same time as Mika let herself into Tohma's office.

"Mika!" Tohma was shocked to say the least. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to see my husband, why so surprised?" She came over and planted a kiss on his lips, Tohma fought not to push her away.

"I'm working… as you can see." Tohma let out .His wife sat across from him and smiled sweetly, letting him know that she had no intention in going anywhere.

"I can see that, do you really need to work so late?" Mika asked innocently. Tohma winced, thinking on what he had planned to do with Hiro. "Eiri and Mikka are on their way to get us, we're going to have dinner together with them honey…" He hated to be called that, and she knew it. For years she'd known that he no longer—if ever- had romantic feelings for her, but she refused to give him his freedom. Tohma had never actually asked for it, but now, for the first time, he was putting things in perspective.

"I don't have time for social gatherings. I have a Greatest Hits album, a Mikka single, and my new band Bad Luck's first album, coming out in less than two weeks." Tohma said matter-of-factly, but still sounding apologetic to his wife. He wanted her to leave already so he could go down to get Hiro and have a romantic evening with him.

"I'm sorry, but family comes first, I don't ask much of you, but I'm asking… no… I'm demanding you honor me tonight." Tohma held her gaze, he knew there was no way out of it. He sighted audibly, and took off his glasses, putting them away in his' desk drawer.

"Seguchi-sama, K-san is here to see you," Usagi called through the intercom. Tohma looked at Mika, who was daring him with her eyes to answer.

"Tell him to come in." He felt, rather than saw, his wife's disappointment, but Tohma didn't care, he was disappointed as well, and if she wanted to spend the night with him that badly, she'd have to do it on his terms. The door opened, and others, besides the one Tohma expected came in.

"Mika!" Mikka Costa yelled, and came running, his wife stood to hug and kiss the other woman. Tohma and Eiri shared a sympathetic look but neither said anything. Tohma's cell rang, making his heartbeat a little faster as he thought Hiro was calling him, and without looking at the caller ID the mogul immediately replied.

"Hello,"

"Hey Tohma! Where are you?" K yelled from the other end, "I thought you were coming down"

"Down where?" Tohma asked puzzled, K never ceased to annoy him, but he had to admit he was the best.

"Down to studio thirty-six, Ryu wanted to see Shuichi-kun, so I brought him, come down, I got something to tell you." Tohma rolled his eyes,

"I'm on my way" The producer replied, normally he would reprimand the American man for being so impetuous, but he really wanted to see Hiro, so he swallowed it. "I have to go downstairs for a bit, I meet you in the limo." Tohma said already walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" Mika asked.

"To Bad Luck's rehearsing studio," Tohma said curtly, looking directly at Eiri, "Want to come?" He asked dutifully to his ex-lover.

"Why would I?" Eiri replied annoyed.

"I want to!" Mikka chirped.

"Me too!" Mikka followed, grabbing Eiri by the arm—much to Mikka's disapproval-. Tohma rolled his eyes and went out the door.

XXX

"So are you going to tell me why you been moping around all day?" Hiro sat next to Shuichi. Because he had been so late, they were ordered by Sakano-san—much to Tohma's objection—to stay late. Although by the end of the day, the man did find a convenient excuse to stay behind.

"I haven't, I'm just tired, I didn't sleep well last night that's all." Shuichi replied tonelessly, without looking at his friend, sure that he would know something was wrong. In fact, the more time passed, the more he realized Yuki had only used him for the night. After all these years of wanting him and imagining what it would be like to be with him, and building false hope. It had all come down to a single night of pleasure that will never repeat itself again. At the very least, Shuichi though optimistically, he could say he had been with his god. But the knowledge that by the end of that magical night, he had been noting more than who knows how many others hurt… god how it hurt!

"You never told me where you were, I hate to admit it but I was kind of worried." Hiro observed his friend closely.

"I was around… I went Karaoke with Ryu-kun," Shuichi lied, how could he tell his friend the truth? That he was a gay failure of a man.

"You hang out with him a lot lately eh Shu?" Hiro smiled feeling a bit better, "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he is a little weird, and you are weird enough on your own."

"Thank you for the confidence, Hiro," Shu shot him a look that was meant to be insulting, but it came across as sorry instead. "I'll be alright once I get some sleep." Shu gave a little smile, and then the whole studio froze as a crashing sound followed by a gunshot came from outside. Shuichi smiled feeling a bit happier in spite of himself and waited for the trademark cue.

"Shuuuuuuuu-kun!" Ryuichi Sakuma ran in and came directly to hug his now "best friend in the whole world" as if he'd known where Shuichi would be seating all along. Shuichi stood up before the older singer reached him and opened his arms to catch him before the hyper man tackled him to the ground. "I told Tohma about that thing we talked about… he said it's a great idea! Didn't I tell you he would like it?" Ryu began without greeting anyone. Shuichi had suggested they did a collaboration, the day they hanged together, after the Virgin Records session. At the time being with Yuki Eiri was still a dream, and Tatsuha his only means to achieve it, now however… things had dramatically changed in matter of days. Shu smiled weakly again, remembering Yuki once more.

"What are you talking about Ryuichi-san?" Hiro, who still sat near by asked as he looked at the exchange a little suspiciously, wondering exactly what the relationship between the two absent minded singers was.

"Oh hello Hiro-kun," Ryu greeted, and Hiro was shocked that the man even remembered his name, "about the colab idea… its pure genius, I want to sing with Shu… we'll kick mayor ass too!"

"We're doing a colab with Grasper!" Suguru who had been lurking about, listening to the whole thing yelled suddenly.

"Oh yeah, that's right, you'll get to play with Tohma, Suru-chan… oh man I can't wait, this is going to be awesome!" Ryuichi exclaimed, still hanging from Shu's neck.

"Suguru is a guy," Hiro smirked winking at Suguru, who looked the other way blushing.

"I know, I call him like that since he was little… ne Suru-chan?" Ryuichi replied.

"Is my mom's fault! She always used to dress me up in stupid girl looking clothes when I was a little, and Tohma-kun took me to the studio looking like that all the time." Suguru explained tightly.

"I did think he was a she at first… I said Tohma-kun "your cousin is so cute!" You're still cute Suru-chan, do you have a girlfriend?" Suguru-blushed deeper—if people only knew whom Suguru really liked.

"Oh my fucking GOD!" They all look to the door at the one who had uttered those intruding words. Tatsuha stood, looking at Ryuichi with wide yes, and then at Shuichi, deepening his glare as he saw the arms of his idol laced around Bad Luck's vocalist neck. Shuichi almost whimpered at the sight, the resemblance to a certain person who just the night before held him, was too much to bear. Ryuichi looked at the intruder puzzled, as did everyone else, Shuichi took Ryuichi's wrist and took his arms away, setting them to his side.

"Hey!" Shuichi smiled feeling a little guilty for allowing Ryuichi's warm embrace to console his pain. Suguru rolled his eyes and went back to his keyboard—knowing exactly who the gorgeous brat was. "This is Tatsuha," Shu continued, leaving out the most important detail. Tatsuha walked into the room, and with a wide smirk and extended his hand to Ryu.

"Sakuma-sama, it is an honor to finally meet you." Ryu looked up to meet the penetrating gaze. And slowly, as if intimidated took the hand, and shook it. Tatsuha's eyes closed for a brief second, then opened and he smiled coolly—damn, were all the Uesugi's so dammed cool mannered? Wondered Shuichi, as he watched Ryuichi look lost in Tatsuha's eyes.

"Don't tell me you know that brat Shu-kun?" Suguru grumped.

"Oh Suguru, you're here too? Last time I saw you, you were this small." Tatsuha put his hand out to his mid thigh, and smirked evilly.

"We are the same age you know?" Suguru replied sarcastically knowing that Tatsuha hated to be reminded that he was underage. Tatsuha immediately glared, he should have known better than to tease the short teen in front of his idol.

"Wait a damn minute!" Shuichi yelled above the bickering, "How do you two know each other?" Ryuichi put his arms around Shu's neck again, hiding from the younger Uesugi penetrating gaze.

"We met at Tohma-kun's wedding, he was chosen to be the ring bearer because he's taller than me… ha, but look at me now. I'm a member of Bad Luck!" Suguru propped himself. Tatsuha wasn't even paying attention to him anymore; instead he had walked around Shuichi and was whispering something in his ear. It always was the same with him, Suguru pursed his lip, and began playing, he had thought Tatsuha would be impressed; he had been actually waiting for the right time to tell him. But as always, the clueless Uesugi only had eyes for Sakuma-san, and now- at least it seemed that way—Shuichi

"I thought you would call me when you saw Ryuichi" Tatsuha stood directly behind Shuichi and whispered in his ear, disregarding everyone's in the room. It looked almost sensual as the two men sandwiched the young singer. Hiro shook his head not even wanting to go there, and Suguru glared jealously.

"Shu-kun, is he your boyfriend?" Ryuichi asked suddenly in awe. And before Shu could even opened his mouth Tatsuha put his arms around the singer's waist.

"You could say that?" The young monk husked, and Shuichi turned his head to object, but was met by Tatsuha's lips.

"Tatsuha!" a feminine voice snapped, and the boy cringed.

"Oh shit…" Tatsuha cursed, and let Shuichi go. Smiling widely, and putting a hand behind his head, Tatsuha wondered how he was going to get out of this one. "Mika… hey, what you doing here?" He took in the rest of the crowd, and almost flipped to when he saw Eiri and Mikka Costa with her. "Hey!" Tatsuha waived innocently.

+X

"You can't stay out of trouble can you!" The gorgeous woman with Yuki and Mikka Costa snapped. Shuichi wanted to dig a hole on the ground and bury himself alive… did Yuki see that? What was he going to do? Shuichi dared a look at Yuki, and the cold eyes held no recognition whatsoever. It pained him to see that he didn't even care. Shuichi lowered his gaze and stared at the floor ashamed, why should he be? He didn't know.

"Let's go!" The woman added angrily.

"Go where?" Tatsuha asked,

" I came to get Tohma to go have a nice dinner with Eiri and Mikka, but you had to go and ruin the whole thing for me, how selfish can you be Tatsuha? Father just died and here you are with a new lover!" To that Shuichi cringed, he dared look up again.

"Hello Shuichi-kun," Mikka Costa said smirking maliciously, staring directly at Ryuichi's arms tightly around his neck. Shuichi didn't say anything and looked at Yuki uncertain.

"You surprise me every time kid." The blond God said tonelessly and walked away.

"We'll wait for you outside Mika," Mikka smiled looking at Shuichi, and waiving goodbye innocently. Mika Seguchi acknowledged this with a nod.

"And you young man, I hope you know that Tatsuha is only sixteen years old!"

"Mika!" Tatsuha snapped, going to her and, taking her by the shoulders. He turned her towards the door, "Let's go!" He turned to Shu and gave him an apologetic look, and then a lustful one to Ryuichi, and left.

"Wow, that was weird…" Ryuichi said in awe, and Shuichi just wanted to go home and cry.

XXX

**A/N** OMG! I can't believe Tatsuha did that! And on top of them Yuki-who by the way barely goes to NG—saw the whole thing… well I guess Bad Luck is not just a name ne?

Next Stop: **Smashing Blue **yes, the fight amongst siblings, a little bit more of the past – in Yuki's POV this time- And the mangaka and Shu's encounter… don't miss it!


	14. Smashing Blue

Disclaimer I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

NC-17, for Yaoi and sexual situations.

Many thinks to **MC-88** for her wonderful help with the proof reading efforts

I must apologize for taking so long to update. I thought I would finish the fic and then just update weekly until it was done, but RL caught up with me and that would just have taken too long… no too fare to the fans ne? So, hopefully I'll go back to my regular updates

**Chapter Thirteen: Smashing Blue**

"Who was that woman?" Hiro asked, already knowing the answer, but deluding himself that he could be wrong.

"Mika-san, Tohma-kun's wife." Suguru replied. It made no sense at all; the woman was stunning; tall, elegant, clearly refined. Better than any babe Hiro himself could get, even with his newfound fame. Why would Tohma have to look for pleasure elsewhere? Hiro felt a stab of jealousy cut through, but hid it well from the other three people in the room. Instead of brooding over it—as there would be plenty of time for that later— he went to his best friend who looked about ready to die.

"Shuichi…" Hiro called softly, the singer turned to him, looking like a lost little boy.

"I'm sorry, I can't rehearse anymore… I have to go home." Shuichi stated absently, Hiro shifted his gaze to Sakuma Ryuichi, who, for some reason, still held on to Shuichi's neck.

"What's wrong with you Shu? You went cold all of a sudden. Is your boyfriend mad at you?" Shuichi turned sharply to the older singer shocked, and then as if realizing something, smiled bitterly.

"I guess we aren't getting anything else done, so let's just call it a day." Hiro decided for them all, god knew he didn't feel like playing after seeing his 'competition' and the other two didn't look up to it either. He could only imagine what Shuichi must be feeling at the moment; the woman had treated him worst than dirt. At that moment Sakano-san, and K-san decided to make their entrance, apparently they had been outside talking the whole time.

"What's going on here?" K asked taking in the scene, "Did someone die, you all look awful." To all three members of Bad Luck, that seemed like a major understatement.

"I'm Ok!" Ryuichi smiled, "I'm taking Shu home." He declared, and as alone as Shuichi needed to be with his pain, he gave the older man a teary grateful gaze.

"Absolutely not!" K-san exclaimed, "You have an early day tomorrow, I was just talking to Tohma, and it seems that Grasper is doing a collaboration with Bad Luck. We only have a little over a week to come up, and record a song with Bad Luck for your Greatest Hits album… so c'mon, let's go! Kami knows I won't be able to get you out of bed tomorrow morning if we don't leave now." Ryu made a face, but knew better than to argue. Finally letting go of Shuichi, he took his Komagorou out of a backpack that no one noticed he was carrying before.

"Here Shu, you can sleep with him tonight, he'll make you feel better. I'll apologize to your boyfriend tomorrow." Shuichi took the pink bunny with tear brimmed eyes, and held it tight. Hiro just watched, wondering what the hell was wrong with his best friend. True he had mopped around all day for some reason, but now he looked as if he was in physical pain, it couldn't be what Tohma's wife said? Hiro wondered if it had anything to do with his whereabouts from the night before—which he still didn't know. The longhaired guitarist noted that it had gotten a lot worse since those people came in… then as an after thought, the words of the mangaka came back to him —_You surprise me every time kid._ --no, not those people, the mangaka. Hiro shook his head out of it all. What did it matter? Right now he just wanted to go home, he suddenly felt so tired; and yearned for his bed, and for a dreamless slumber away from the studio, and more importantly, away from Tohma Seguchi.

XXX

"What is it with you Tatsuha, why can't you stay out of trouble!" Mika reprimanded, as they rode in a stretch limo to the French restaurant. Tatsuha was sitting next to her, looking down and playing with his hands. In truth, he didn't give a damn what his sister was saying, he wasn't even paying attention. He was just embarrassed about the whole scene that had unfolded in front of his idol, and he was also hurt, and envious of the closeness he seemed to have with Shuichi. To say Tatsuha was jealous, would be putting it mildly.

The teen looked up realizing his sister was waiting for an answer. He looked at Tohma, who was looking out the window lost in thought; he seemed worried about something—very strange for the cool headed man. Then he shifted his gaze to Eiri, who sat directly opposite from him, staring daggers. His older brother wasn't even masking his contempt. Tatsuha felt chills crawl up and down his back as he met the cold honey colored eyes. Eiri never gave him the time of day before, and now, the clearly shown, and unmistakable dislike, made the young monk weaken.

It had all started when Tatsuha had gone to the studio to talk to Shuichi and to ask him about the "First Stage" bit. Eiri had never, ever, done anything remotely as shocking, and the way he had looked at the young singer was actually disturbing. Tatsuha couldn't say he knew his brother a whole lot, but he knew him enough to know that he did not acted like himself. Now, the man he had wanted to reach more than anything at one point, sat across from him looking as if he wanted to kill him. It made the young monk wonder, what exactly was his brother's interest in Bad Luck's vocalist? He kept thinking about what he said to him back in Kyoto _"If it makes you feel any better… I fuck men too"_ could it be?

"I don't see how am I getting into trouble?" Tatsuha shrugged, hoping Mika would drop it. Getting scolded like a two year old in front of Japan's biggest pop star, most powerful music personality, and on top of that his brother, was not his idea of a great time.

"Tatsuha, father just…" Mika couldn't finish the sentence, and Tatsuha couldn't be more grateful for it "Why can't you just be like any normal boy your age, why can't you get a nice girl and lots of friends to hang out? It's not like you're not good looking enough, or cool enough, or rich enough!" then her expression grew somber, "Is something bothering you, do you need help?" Tatsuha rolled his eyes; he preferred the scolding rather than therapy—which of course he did not need—why couldn't these people understand that he was a normal man, who was hopelessly in love with a _male_ a rock star?

"Please…" Eiri muttered rolling his eyes.

"Eiri, you're not helping, you were supposed to take care of him!" Mika now turned her wrath to Eiri, much to Tatsuha's gratitude.

"I never said I would do such thing! I took him in because his hormones got him in trouble, I can't be responsible for what he does, or who he does it with." Eiri replied angrily, his usual cool and impartial tone completely forgotten. "Why don't you take him if you think you can do such a great job!"

"Maybe I will!" The two older siblings continued their screaming match. "It's your bad influence that got him like this!"

"What?" Eiri snapped loudly. "MY bad influence? I hardly talk to the brat… how is it my fault that he fucks anyone with a willing dick? How it is my fault that he caused your father to drop dead!"

"Mika, Eiri… calm down," Mikka pleaded putting her hand on Eiri's arm to soothe him. This was definitely not her idea of a nice, romantic evening.

"Tohma, say something, that boy works for you… fire him!" To this Tohma turned, and for the first time since they got in the car, showed any interest to what was going on. He had been worrying over Hiro being angry, and was formulating a plan to get out of the dinner affair and go to him.

"What do you want me to say Mika?" He asked calmly, "I am certainly not going to fire a profitable addition to NG, because your brother can't keep his hands to himself." Tohma stole a glance at Yuki, and wondered how he was taking it, he knew he cared; he could sense it. The fact that the man he knew better than anybody was loosing control over his emotions was proof enough. How deep Eiri's feelings ran for the singer? and what was Shuichi's relationship with Tatsuha? Tohma wished he had been there, although he had gotten a very good description of the events from Mika. He could only imagine what had happened. He knew Ryuichi was harmless, he didn't think anything about going around hugging people… but his brother in law… now _he_ was an entirely different matter. Tohma sighed, he didn't really care at the moment, all he had in his mind was Hiro and the need to see him, touch him… love him. He'd talk to Yuki about the whole thing later…right now, he just wanted to talk to Hiro badly and make sure he was not mad, all Tohma needed now was for Tatsuha to ruin yet another relationship.

"Your profit is more important than your family?" Mika snapped stunned.

"No, it is not Mika and you know it, but I just can't cater to your brother after every blunder. I supposed I can deny him access to the NG building form now on, but that's about it."

"What!" Tatsuha shot forward, "You can't do that Tohma-onisan!" The only perk of being related to these people was the fact that he could go in and out of the building when he pleased, if they took that away, his life would be over. Tatsuha glared at Mika daring her to say something.

"Yes, he can, and he will," She replied matter-of-factly, and then turning to Tohma, "You do that, if he doesn't want to reform on his own, we'll make him do it."

"You know what… fuck you Mika, fuck you all!" without even thinking Mika slapped him across the face, it was the first time Tatsuha had ever gotten hit—by anyone, Mikka gasped and the other two man exchange looks. Tatsuha stayed immobile for a few seconds, shocked, and then turned to his sister with such hatred, that it distorted his flawless features.

"Stop this car, I'm getting out." The monk stated calmly after a minute of silence.

"You are certainly not!" Mika snapped.

"If you don't stop this car, I'll jump out!" Tatsuha said louder, but not loosing composure. Eiri pressed the button for the driver,

"Stop the car." The mangaka said as the man answered. The car came to a halt and Tatsuha got off and ran away from there as fast as he could.

XXX

Shuichi lay on his bed holding Komagorou tight. The tears had not stopped falling since he locked himself in his room.

…_He saw me… he saw me kissing with his brother_. The scene repeated in his mind like a death sentence. Forget trying to explain anything to Yuki now. If the blond god had been aloof before, the very same morning after he'd finally realized his most private dream… Shuichi had no choice of ever getting Yuki to talk to him now. Shu hugged the pink bunny closer still, the smell of Ryuichi Sakuma on it, making him feel strangely comforted.

…_What's going through your mind Yuki?_ _Do you really believe I would betray you with your own brother… do you even care?_ Then his love's words came back to hunt his sanity:

"_You surprise me every time kid."_ The way he said it, the contempt in his deep eyes. More tears found their passage down the young singer's face. His life as he knew it was over. Neither fame, nor money could replace what he'd most likely already lost.

There was a sound in the distant, which pulled Shuichi from the dark recess he'd submerged himself in. Shuichi sat up on his bed, and realized that it was the phone in his pocket. His heart stopped, glancing at the clock—it read eleven-thirty—No one ever called him at that time other than Hiro-who was already home- or his parents, and that was unlikely… there was only one other person he could think of, and at that moment Shuichi prayed to god that it was it. He took the phone from his pocket, slapping himself inwardly for letting it ring so long. He inhaled and exhaled to calm himself down, and without looking at the phone screen, he answered:

"Hello," He said nonchalantly—according to him.

"Shuichi! Thanks God! I thought you wouldn't answer," The disappointment Shuichi felt at hearing Tatsuha's voice could not even be described with simple words.

"I shouldn't have," He found himself replying, as the anger he felt towards the teen hit him full force.

"I know, listen I'm so sorry about before, I always seem to pull stunts like that, I wasn't even thinking. I swear though, I didn't know they were in the building," It was mutually understood who "they" were.

"It doesn't matter if you knew or not, you can't just go around sticking your tongue down people's throats… besides, what makes you think that I'd appreciate it?" Shuichi's sorrow seemed to melt for the moment, and was replaced by anger and frustration towards Tatsuha.

"I know… I just… I was jealous," The teen paused and took a deep breath, "You know, the way Ryuichi was holding you, you seemed so…close. Shuichi, are you and him…?" Tatsuha fell silent, not able to finish the question.

"No, of course not! If you knew him, you'd know that's the way he always acts, but even if we were involved, that gives you no right! It's none of your business! I'm in deep shit with your family now, because of your immaturity." Shuichi was so infused, that if Tatsuha were to be in the room, he would most likely get his ass kicked.

"No, you're not. Tohma is not doing anything to you. I'm the one who got canned. I'm not allowed at the NG building anymore." Tatsuha confessed gravely, taking Shuichi by surprise... the man _knew_ about him and Yuki, and was doing nothing to penalize him for "betraying" his brother in law.

"Did Seguchi-san say anything else?" Shu asked not sure of what he was looking for as an answer.

"No… my fucking sister made him do it. I doubt he cares one-way or the other… I'll tell you everything, but right now, I need your help," The young monk paused again. "I had an argument with Mika… my sister, so right now I'm in the middle of the city, with no place to go," He paused again, "I'm not going back to Eiri's place." Tatsuha ended.

"Wait a minute! Do you live with Yuki?" Shuichi almost shouted.

X

"I was staying with him for a while… long story, but I doubt he wants me there now, he got yelled at by Mika too, but unlike me, he don't let her get to him, although, he did loose his cool there for a minute," Tatsuha said as if to himself, wondering why Shuichi cared so much what his asshole of a brother thought, "He's the one who let me out of the car," shivering in the cold, the monk closed his shirt tighter around his neck, whishing Shuichi would just come and get him. There was a pause on the other end of the line and then a heavy sigh.

"Fine…where are you?"

"Downtown Tokyo, Kamagura road, there is a Karaoke bar across the street called "_The Singing Machine_" Tatsuha read the English words without knowing their meaning.

"I know where it is, wait for me inside, they should let you in even though you're underage. I'll be there in about half an hour." And the line went dead. Tatsuha put his phone away, and hugged himself as he crossed the street to the bar. Hopefully, if he was lucky, he could talk Shuichi into buying him a drink.

XXX

"Why did you let him out of the car?" Mika snapped at the blond haired mangaka, who had gone back to his aloof and detached self, after the teen made his dramatic exit.

"Because he wanted to get out," He replied matter-of-factly. He could not remember a time he had ever disliked the kid as much as he did now.

"He is sixteen years old Eiri, he doesn't know the city all that well! Sure he might look like an old pervert, but he's only a little boy!" The woman broke into sobs; she was very successful at annoying everyone, but not so skilled at getting sympathy from the ones listening to her wails.

"A sixteen year old, who has had more of a sexual life than all of us put together… I hardly call that a little boy." Eiri said as impassive as before, "Let him be cold for a couple of hours, he's got a phone he can call crying when he has had enough of a lesson." Eiri finished

"Enough of a lesson?" Mika shouted, turning to her distant husband, "Tohma say something!" The music producer peeled his eyes off the window long enough to give her a disapproving look, then went back to look outside at the passing streetlights.

"Tohma!"

"I think Eiri is right Mika, Tatsuha does things without thinking about consequences. He'll be back with his tail between his legs as always, I'm sure." Tohma spoke softly, not really caring about the outcome of the situation. What was really on his mind was Hiro, he had wanted to spend the night –and every night—tangled in his longhaired lover's arms, god knew he'd deprived himself enough for all those agonizingly long months. And knowing that Hiro was willing to give it a chance, made it even more frustrating to be here listening to his wife bickering over Tatsuha. Then Tohma wondered mildly how Mikka convinced Yuki to come along, especially since he and Shuichi… Tohma sighed again, and tried to shut them all out.

"You two are the worst!" Mika began crying inconsolably again. Eiri rolled his eyes and Tohma just shook his head, not even turning. Mikka scooted over to sit next to her friend and patted her back softly. She had wanted this night with Eiri to be perfect, but since there was no helping it now that it was ruined, might as well stick with her friend.

"Let's turn around," The pop diva gave the two men a stern look, "He might still be walking up the road."

"He's not going to my house." Eiri stated matter-of-factly. Tohma just gave him a knowing look, he didn't know exactly what was going through Eiri's mind, but he knew one thing… he's never seen Eiri so jealous before.

"We'll take him in," Mika sobbed, Tohma shifted his eyes to her, but said nothing. The mogul pressed the intercom and gave the command to the driver. Eiri glared at him, but Tohma ignored it, he'd much rather apologize to his friend later, than to put up with Mika's cries, then he went back to look out the window, maybe he'd get his chance to call Hiro after all, he doubted they were going anywhere at this point.

They drove up and down the road Tatsuha had got out on a couple of times, but couldn't see the boy. Mika's wails got louder as the minutes passed as there was not sign of her little brother.

X

"Mika, if you don't shut up right now, I swear I'm slapping you." Eiri warned once he was at his breaking point. The evening, which had started bad, the minute he had the genius idea to "share" it with Mikka was now officially the worst of his life. At this point, Yuki was convinced he should have stayed home, mopping around, masturbating, and thinking about the boy he could not see anymore, than to submit himself to this…but then again, had he done that, he would not have seen what the singer was really all about. Just to remember the sight of him kissing Tatsuha, and the other imbecile holding on to him, made his blood boil. He deserved it though, for falling for a stupid little boy who probably didn't even know what he wants himself. Mika's sobs quieted and Yuki couldn't be more thankful for it. He turned his gaze to Tohma, who had just been looking out the window pensive; Yuki wondered what was going through his mind. But then he remembered he was mad at the bastard for offering to take that brat in, when he had wanted to send him away, back to Kyoto to that bitch who had given birth to them. True he had no intention since the beginning, on seeing Shuichi ever again, but he'd be damned if he allowed his brother have him either. With a frustrated sigh, Yuki sat back, and as he closed his eyes, another time came to him, a time when another one he loved had betrayed him just like this.

_xxxFlashbackxxx_

Eiri lay on the shallow bed, panting and sweaty from love making; he lit up a cigarette, a habit he had picked up to annoy his parents. A hand snatched the cigarette and put it out in the ashtray on the table next to the bed.

"I need that." Eiri snapped, there was no anger in his voice.

"I told you, you do what you want at home, when you're with me you behave." Tohma's soft voice reprimanded, Eiri straddled the musician and rolled his hips suggestively over his awakening shaft.

"But I really want it… you're that good." Eiri brought his lips to almost touch Tohma's, and ran his tongue slowly along them, getting the musician to grab him roughly and kiss him full force.

"You're not even old enough to buy cigarettes," Tohma laughed after he broke the kiss as abruptly as he had started it.

"I'm not old enough to fuck either… and here I am…" Eiri gave the man a seductive gaze. At sixteen, Eiri had lost all traces of childhood, and was transformed into the most sexual and sensual being he himself couldn't even begin to comprehend. He had care nothing for girls and sex, or anything of the sort, until Mika brought her University classmate home for a "study" session. Eiri had come to the family room—as he seldom ever did—to demand that someone got Tatsuha out of his hair. Then he had seen, for the first time, someone who triggered any sort of pull to his loins. Eiri had been as rude as usual—if not worst—but that night had gone to bed, for the first time thinking on someone other than his _Evas._

Months went by, and the incredibly beautiful student—who Eiri learned, belonged to the most popular rock band in Japan—came more and more frequently, and every time he did, Eiri would find a reason to make an appearance. Never actually speaking to the man, only stealing glances here and there. Soon he found himself buying magazines, and even creating a character that looked just like Seguchi Tohma. For the first time in his life he cared about something other than his small imaginary world, and had felt extremely jealous when he found out that Tohma and his sister were actually dating. Then the moody teen decided to take matters into his own hands, and came up with the perfect excuse to get close to him… _his manga_.

"You're the one who does all the fucking," Tohma joked, nipping his nose and grabbing Eiri's ass to rock him harder against his now fully erect sex. There was nothing better than an afternoon long fucking session with his… significant other, as he referred to Tohma. Especially after a stressful day at school, with that annoying Mikka Costa stalking him everywhere he went.

Tohma stopped his sexual harassment, and grew serious—almost frighteningly so.

"We have to talk." Tohma said sitting up and setting Eiri next to him, he got up and walked to the window, his naked form looked perfect in the evening orange hue.

"Hey… why the long face?" Eiri asked feeling less than confident.

"Eiri, you know I love you." Tohma began, in his usual low voice, but this time there was a tinge of regret to it.

"Wait a minute, are you going to dump me or something?" Eiri asked slyly, trying to hide his fear, "Because if you are, let me remind you who started this whole thing."

"Would you please listen to what I have to say?" Tohma snapped frustrated running a hand through his longish hair; he seemed stressed, sad even. Eiri had noticed something amiss, but had credited to stress brought by his band or something like. Tohma had been complaining about the band having problems, especially where Sakuma's maturity issues were concerned.

"I'm listening," Eiri let out tonelessly, crossing his long arms across his chest, he now stood by the bed, naked as well.

"I'm marrying your sister." Tohma stated simply, and Eiri felt as if a blow to the stomach had been dealt to him. He'd never asked Tohma to break it off with Mika—more out of pride than anything else—but had assumed that it would happen sooner or later. He just stood there, face hardened, refusing to let Tohma see his hurt.

"Don't you have anything to say… don't you want to know why?" Tears were falling from Tohma's eyes now, if Eiri didn't know better he'd say, his "lover" was in pain too.

"What's the point, its not like I'm going to try to persuade you against it." Yuki wanted to with all his might, but his pride would simply not let him.

"You're so cold… do you even care?" Tohma gave a short ironic laugh, and looked out the window.

"Do you want me to?" Eiri asked, suddenly wanting to leave, to be away from Tohma so he wouldn't see him break down.

"She's pregnant," Tohma whispered, and Eiri was taken aback, "I told her a few weeks ago that it was over, she… talked me into it, and wound up pregnant." He continued without waiting for Eiri to reply.

"Am I supposed to congratulate you?" Eiri added sarcastically, but feeling incredibly relieved that it was that, and not… love. Tohma gave him a hard stare, and then moved to get dress. "You're the one who fucked her, even though you told me you weren't anymore, got her pregnant, and now you're mad at me! This is rich Tohma." Eiri threw his arms up.

"I shouldn't have expected you to understand."

"What am I supposed to understand? That you played with mine and Mika's feelings?"

"Look who's talking about feelings…" Tohma begrudged, Eiri hardened his stare, and began getting dress as well. "Do you even know what that is Eiri, how many times have I said I love you, to have you either grunt or ignore me altogether?"

"Like it matters whether I say it or not,"

"Yes it does goddamit! Maybe I want to hear it, maybe I need to be pampered and comforted from time to time… but no! "Yuki Eiri" only needs me to pimp him out to the manga distributing companies." Eiri clenched his fist and gritted his teeth, that comment hurting him more than he was willing to admit. "Eiri… I'm sorry, I just…"

"You know what Tohma? Fuck you, fuck you and Mika, I hope the both of you live happily ever after, and you can shove your connections up your ass, because that's the only thing you're going to have up there." And with those angry words Eiri left the room, with the intent of never speaking to Tohma Seguchi again.

_xxxEnd of Flashbackxxx _

"There's a bar over there, let's get off and ask!" Mika exclaimed, bringing Yuki out of his memories, she was looking directly at him, curiously. She then looked out the window and pointed to a Karaoke bar with an English neon sign… _why would they know the stupid brat had been there?_ Eiri wondered rolling his eyes, but if checking, made his hysterical sister shut her pipe, who was he to object?

"I'm not going in." Eiri stated dryly, crossing his arms, then Mika turned to Tohma, but turned quickly away, probably figuring that he'd be mobbed if he were to go in there, same as Mikka. Then she reached over and pressed the driver's intercom and ordered the man to go in and check. The man stopped the car, got out and went into the establishment. Mika watched hopeful for a few minutes, and Eiri just wished he could go to his apartment and draw the night away. The man came out a few minutes later and came to the window.

"He's in there with another boy." The driver said as soon as Mika lowered the glass. At this Yuki perked up… _with another boy?_ He snapped his head to the driver, a move that was not lost to Mikka, by the way she glared at him from his sister's side, "I didn't approached him, I wanted to check with you first Seguchi-san." The man said to his sister, bowing politely.

"What did the other boy looked like?" Yuki snapped urgently.

"Didn't see him too well," the man replied, and the mangaka felt like punching him in the gut for being so stupid, "Young kid, longish brown hair, weird color eyes," the man continued and Yuki felt the bile coming up to his mouth. Without thinking, he got out of the car and almost ran into the place to see it with his own eyes.

"Eiri!" Mikka called to him, voice full of resentment and disbelief, but he didn't care.

XXX

Shuichi came in and spotted Tatsuha right away sitting in a corner table with a drink. Shuichi rolled his eyes, wondering exactly how the sixteen year old had gotten it.

"Hey!" Tatsuha exclaimed as soon as Shuichi made his way to him. Again, the singer was taken aback by the resemblance to his Yuki, making him remember his sorrow once more, "I'm so glad you came, I thought I was alone on this one."

"I shouldn't have," Shuichi tried to sound angry and failing miserably at it, "I just can't let a little kid fend for himself in the middle of the night after all… call me a wuss." He sat and signaled for the server, god knew he needed a drink badly, "Midori Sour," Shuichi said, he'd never had one, but seeing how popular the drink was, he decided this was as good a time as ever to try it out. The man eyed him suspiciously.

"You got an ID?" He asked skeptical.

"Does he?" Shuichi pointed his chin to Tatsuha, who was now smiling from ear to ear, reassuring Shu, that there was alcohol in whatever drink he was consuming. The man frowned, obviously being the one who had served the charming rich kid, so without saying another word he bowed and went to get what was ordered.

"Bring some stuffed mushrooms too!" Tatsuha yelled after the man.

"Don't tell me you flirted your way into getting a drink?" Shuichi asked with a mixture of disgust and awe, this kid was truly something else.

"Of course!" Tatsuha replied winking his eye, "You're pretty smooth too." He said sensually, then flashed a smile

"You are…" Shuichi was at a loss for word. His drink arrived along with the appetizer, Tatsuha eat a few, and then rolled his eyes in ecstasy, as if he was having the most intense orgasm. Shuichi just looked at him in wonderment.

"Oh my god…these are better then sex!" Tatsuha let out, and Shuichi just raised a brow, and then shook his head.

"What do you know about sex?" Shu asked afraid to hear the answer, but mildly amused by him. Tatsuha was in fact very fun to be with, the few times he'd seen him; he'd always had that feeling of easiness around him. Shuichi wanted some of that, he wanted to be able to be as easy going and just enjoy life for what it was. But lately he had become some sort of a nervous wreck, and as of that very morning a broken hearted bitter man as well.

"I'm a slut." Tatsuha replied shamelessly, popping more mushrooms in his mouth and rolling his eyes the same way as before. "That's why my sister, thought that… you know, you and me…"

"Yeah, that and the fact that you had your tongue stuffed down my throat." Shuichi pointed getting angry at the thought of the woman seeing that… _of Yuki seeing that_.

"So you and Ryuichi are not involved?" Tatsuha asked changing the subject, getting a little pull in his groin as he remembered the short… but hot lip lock with Bad Luck's lead singer, and the way Ryuichi watched the whole thing with glassy eyes.

"No, we're just friends. There is such a thing called friendship without attachments, you know?" Shuichi admonished.

"I know, I know… I just get so jealous where he is concerned. I always do things without thinking ahead, and a lot of times I get, or get others in trouble. Don't worry, once my sister cools off, I'll explain the whole thing and clear your name." Tatsuha said sincerely, and then ate more appetizers and again his pallet orgasm displayed itself.

"You're weird," Shuichi almost laughed, it was impossible to stay mad at this kid for long.

"Try growing up in a shrine, with an hysterical mother, an elusive brother who only talked to me to insult me, an unstable and obsessive sister who all she ever did was talk about Tohma-kun this, and Tohma-kun that, and a fanatic father who wanted me to be this perfect little monk and honor the family name… that'd mess up anyone's character don't you think?" Tatsuha begrudged, all his perkiness gone as he briefly described his life.

"Sorry to interrupt your date, but the little boy's bedtime is way passed." Shuichi snapped his head around in horror… _let it not be… let it be a mistake, God please…_ Yuki Eiri stood tall and ominous right behind him, his face unreadable.

"What are you doing here? I'm not going back with you!" Tatsuha snapped. Shuichi's eyes searched his love's face for some acknowledgment, recognition, anger… anything, but the man's face was blank.

"You're coming to Mika's place, and so help me god, if you don't get up from this chair and follow me out, I'll drag you by the hair, punk." The words were almost a spat. Tatsuha glared for a long while, and then got up, it first time he ever heard that tone form his brother, and he was not about to contest it. The monk marched out defiantly, brushing Yuki's shoulder as he walked past him and towards the door.

"See you later Shu, thanks for coming." Tatsuha said over his shoulder as he walked away. Yuki stood rigid, and then for the first time he turned to meet he singer's eyes. Shuichi almost cried out in agony as the deep hazel eyes regarded him hatefully.

"Yuki…" He whispered, but it was too late, Yuki's face said it all. It was over, over before it even started. Yuki took a deep breath, and for a second, Shuichi thought he saw sorrow, pain… betrayal. But as quick as it came, it went away… and so did the man of his dreams.

XXX

A/N: I don't know man, but that Shuichi must have pissed off higher authority… OMG can anything else go wrong? And that Tatsuha (roll eyes)

Next Stop: **Spicy Marmalade**, oh yes, more drama… God I love drama! The Bands finally come together for the collab… some secrets will come out. Also, another crush will begin… or manifest, however you prefer… Plus Yuki's plan to "forget" a certain someone Don't miss it!


	15. Spicy Mermalade

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

**NC-17** for adult themes, cursing and Yaoi

Thanks to **MelizaMac** for her wonderful and speedy beta efforts

**Chapter Fourteen:** Spicy Marmalade 

Tatsuha got into the limo and sat next to Mika, crossing his arms and looking down with poorly hidden contempt. After he and Eiri left the Karaoke bar, his brother had not uttered a single word, making the short walk to the car seem like miles. Tatsuha was so embarrassed. Eiri never cared about him before… _why now?_ And in front of Shuichi on top of everything; first Mika now him! His crazy siblings were going to scare off his friends before he could even secure them. But that aside, the teen had never seen his brother so angry; at one point, Tatsuha thought he heard Eiri's teeth grind.

"Oh, thank god you found him!" Mika cried and threw her arms around Tatsuha; the teen instinctively stiffened looking at the others, scared.

"Was he with… Shuichi?" Tohma asked tactfully. After Eiri had left the car, the two women were left to wonder – very vocally – the meaning of his anger. The mangaka turned a sour face to his old friend but made no reply.

"I don't get it. What is it to you who I see?" Tatsuha blurted, after freeing himself from his sister's grip.

"Because you're sixteen, and because is not natural for you too see boys," Mika was quick to reply. "Tatsuha, why can't you get a nice looking girl, I bet you have them dropping from the sky" she ignored her brother's scowl, "And a rock star on top of that! We know all about those."

"What is _all about those_… enlighten me please, because_I_ don't know!" Tohma said defensively.

"You are different Tohma," Mika replied softly, remembering that Tohma had been in Nittle Grasper when they got married… god it seemed like eons ago.

"I wasn't referring to me per se," the producer grumbled, turning to Tatsuha and ending the subject. "I didn't want to get involved, but your mother gave me full leave in making decisions as far as you are concerned, and since I see you get in one blunder after another, I will take matters into my own hands. We cannot have your past… mistakes repeat themselves."

"I'm not going back to Kyoto!" Tatsuha snapped sternly.

"No, you will not, at least not yet, I doubt your mother would want you there right now, and since you will be living under my roof: first, you will be enrolled in school, and you are not to see Shuichi again."

"What?" Tatsuha yelled in disbelief. He had not wanted Tohma to get involved, although his brother-in-law was one of the coolest people he knew, he was strict to the core… probably the reason he went so far in life at such a young age.

"You heard me," Tohma replied calmly.

"Shu-kun is my friend; nothing's going on between us!" Tatsuha appealed the harsh decision.

"Judging by what Mika told me, I'm inclined not to believe you," Tatsuha shot his sister a glare.

"It's not so, she just jumped to a conclusion without even asking… as always."

"You were kissing him!" Mika exclaimed, eliciting a wince from Eiri – which was not lost to his less than happy fiancé.

"Regardless," Tohma intervened before the conversation could escalate to a full-blown argument between the two hotheaded siblings, "I don't want you to see him anymore." Tohma was angry, and even if he didn't loose his composure like Mika, or had an evil aura glowing around him like Eiri, everyone in the car could tell.

"Why?" The young monk asked defiantly. Tohma didn't have a valid reason other than the fact that Yuki had been obsessed to the point of stalking, and was now involved with the singer. Also, the fact that his old lover was beside himself with jealousy – or so it seemed. At any other time Tohma would have resented Shuichi, the boy had gotten more emotions out of Eiri in these past few months than he himself had in all the years they knew each other, but now that he had Hiro, Tohma completely understood Eiri… god knew he would retaliate against whoever tried to come between Hiro and himself.

"Because you can't be trusted," Tohma replied. Tatsuha pursed his lips and crossed his arms stubbornly once more; there would be plenty of time to appeal his case later.

"As long as he goes to school and stays out of trouble, I say let the brat see whoever he wants," Eiri blurted, surprising them all. Tatsuha snapped his hopeful eyes to his brother, "If he does it here, at least we'll be sure he won't kill the bitch back in Kyoto of a heart attack too."

"Eiri!" both Mika and Mikka exclaimed in unison. Tatsuha lowered his head – in shame this time – but said nothing.

"I don't think it is a good idea…" Tohma began, only to receive a glare from the blond mangaka.

"Where to?" came the driver's voice. Both women looked at one another, as if deciding what to do.

"I'm getting off here," Eiri added opening the door.

"Eiri…" Mikka whispered but knew better than to antagonize her fiancé when he was mad. Eiri got out of the car and slammed the door shut, neither Tohma nor his wife tried to persuade him to stay. Tohma turned the intercom and instructed the driver to get Mikka home, and then to head of to their own penthouse in the middle of the city.

"I so wanted tonight to be special… like old times," Mika sighed as the car drove off. Mikka just lifted her head long enough to give her friend a small, ironic smile, and Tohma kept on staring out the window; if he heard, he showed no sign of it. Tatsuha just sat there, wanting to be invisible for the moment. Mikka had turned to him, and was now glaring, as if wanting to say something but deciding against it. The minutes passed and the tension in the car could be cut with a knife. This was worse than being back in Kyoto on the day their father died.

"Where do you suppose Eiri is going?" Mika asked, trying to ease the mood.

"To his studio I suppose," Mikka lamented, she had wanted the night to be special as well. She couldn't really blame Eiri; he had tried, if only his family wasn't so dysfunctional, none of this would be happening.

"So… am I going to your house Mika?" Tatsuha asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Yes," his sister replied.

The young monk flashed a smirk and dialed a number; both women watched him, wondering who in the world could he be calling. A few moments later he spoke:

"Hey, Shu… I just wanted to apologize…I know you're mad, I won't bother you long, I just want to make sure we're cool," All others in the car turned to the impetuous youth and glared with incredulous faces.

"You've got some nerve!" Mika begrudged through her teeth, and Tatsuha only smiled at her sweetly.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, I gotta go before my sister beheads me," He closed his phone, put it away, and looked out the window much like Tohma had been doing.

"Tatsuha," Mikka said carefully, "What is your relationship with that boy, and how did you meet him?" The young monk turned to her.

"I already told you, we're friends; I mean, I'm trying to be his friend, but you people keep butting in and embarrassing the hell out of me," He pointed a stern look to his sister, then continued, "I met him at NG, he bumped into me and we hit it off, he's friends with Sakuma-san, so if you guys leave me alone long enough to establish a friendship with him, maybe I can get him to help me get an autograph from my all time idol… since someone I know won't do it," Tatsuha looked to Tohma this time, who didn't seem to hear.

"All that for an autograph!" Mika shouted, "I can get you one, I know Ryuichi too. I don't like him, and I can't fathom why everyone does, but I can get one for you, so please Tatsu-kun, stop being so… irresponsible."

"No can do… I like Shu, so I want to be his friend, besides you laughed at me when I begged you to help me before," Tatsuha flashed a smile, happy to see his sister so distressed.

"Tohma say something!" she snapped.

"You're such a baby, you always run to Tohma-kun when you don't know what to do… See he doesn't care, he can't even hear you, he's totally tuning you out," Tatsuha laughed watching his sister get red faced.

"Tatsuha," Tohma warned sternly without turning.

"I am older than you! You will respect me you little brat, or it's back to Kyoto with you. See how you'll get to see your precious Shuichi or Ryuichi all the way from there."

"Snake!" Tatsuha snapped, loosing his cool.

"Whore!" Mika retorted back.

"Both of you stop!" Tohma snapped loudly, Tatsuha jumped in place, it was the first time he ever heard his brother-in-law raise his voice. "Let's just drive home in peace," the blond man continued in his usual soft tone.

They rode in silence the rest of the way. Once in front of Mikka and Eiri's place, the pop singer kissed Mika and nodded her farewell to Tohma.

"Walk me up," she directed Tatsuha.

"Yeah, I gotta get my stuff," the teen replied. He immediately got out of the car and walked toward the building with her. Tatsuha didn't particularly talk about anything with her, the charming man in him was dying to, but he knew better. He had sensed a lot of turbulence between his brother and his gorgeous fiancé in the little time he stayed with them. Once in the elevator, she looked him directly in the eye.

"How well do you know that boy?" she asked.

"Who… Shuichi?"

"Yes."

"Not too well, I only met him about a week ago," Tatsuha replied wondering why Mikka would care.

"I see… do you know anything about him? I mean, if he has a girlfriend… boyfriend, you know that sort of thing," It suddenly became very clear to the monk, what she was driving at. He remembered the show, and the expression she had had. It was almost funny that she would be jealous of Shuichi, but considering how Eiri had acted that night… and tonight, he couldn't really blame her.

"I don't know, we haven't gotten that close yet. He does want me to help him get Eiri's autograph though," Tatsuha said, testing the waters.

"Why would you need to help him, I suppose he can ask him himself," Mikka replied.

"I met him before the show," Tatsuha watched her flinch, at the mention of that fiasco.

"Oh, you saw that," she murmured.

"Half of Japan did… if not more," Tatsuha observed.

"Whatever, can find out for me what his intentions with Eiri are, please. Can I trust you?" Mikka put emphasis to the last part.

"Yeah," Tatsuha said as if stating the obvious, even though he had no intentions of letting her know more than it was necessary for her to find out, of course he wasn't going to tell her that, but he played along. "I'll ask him next time I see him."

"Please don't tell him Tatsuha," Mikka stressed with a glint of worry in her voice.

"I'm not telling him, is not like we're blood bonded or something; besides, I've known you for a lot longer, I know where my loyalties lie."

Satisfied with the answer Mikka smiled and rewarded the precocious teen with a kiss on the cheek. "Now, get your things quickly and get going before Mika throws a fit."

They both smiled rolling their eyes. Tatsuha knew exactly what Mikka meant.

XXX

Yuki walked down the street, letting the cold breeze hit him in the face and soothe his rage. The whole scene played itself over and over. At the NG studio, then at the bar.

"Fucking whore…" Yuki swore lowly, lighting a cigarette; it served him right though, he should have known better than to fall for the little punk. And the worst part was that it hurt, it hurt more than he'd ever hurt before. Part of him wanted to dismiss the whole thing as a "good fuck" and that's it, but another part wanted to confront the singer and

demand an explanation. Yuki had thought about going back to the bar, but then decided not to; he had no business demanding anything from the child, especially since he had treated the kid so shabbily that very same morning. He hailed a taxi and went to his studio, maybe a good dose of drawing would make him feel better… god knew he'd been neglecting his only friends in the world long enough. Forget that any of this ever happened, forget about the beautiful singer who stole his sanity, and go back to live his life as he'd done before. At least he had learned one good lesson out of the whole thing… _never fall for anyone again_.

XXX

"I'd say this has been one long night," Mika sighed as she threw herself onto the spacious bed. Dealing with her brother was something she had not prepared herself for. She turned her head over to look at her husband… her beautiful husband. The man who had swept her off her feet at first sight with his charm, his soft voice, his elegance, the man who had given her the most intense pleasures, as well as the most acute pain. Mika loved him; she loved Seguchi Tohma so much it hurt.

Since they'd married, and even before then, she had known that he didn't return that love. She'd even known about his affair with Eiri, but had been too in love to care.

She had been right on one thing in the end; both Eiri and Tohma got each other out of their systems and moved on. Eiri with Mikka, and Tohma… well. Mika had never been able to make him love her in the same infatuated and unfathomable way she loved him, but he was with her, and that was all that mattered; although these past few months, Tohma's rejection was piercing her soul.

She watched him take off his jacket and set it on one of the chairs in the room, his every movement so flawless, so perfect. He hardly ever slept in their bed anymore, and he allowed her to have affairs with whomever she pleased. Sometimes she did it to hurt him, to humiliate him, but he didn't seem to notice nor care. He hadn't even touched her for almost a year, and yet… she would not give him up.

"You seem very absent-minded today Tohma," Mika observed absently, admiring for the first time in months, the man who supposedly belonged to her.

"I've got a lot of things on my mind," Tohma replied with the same elusiveness as usual.

"I'm very sorry about tonight; I wanted it to be a special evening."

Tohma turned to her and watched her curiously for a few moments. "I don't know why you are so surprised."

"I'll make it up to you," Mika husked making her way to him, and pressing herself against his back, as she put her arms around his narrow waist. Tohma walked towards his closet as he undid his tie, easily freeing himself form the loose embrace. Mika watched him, hurt stinging her eyes, and then followed.

"No need for that," Tohma muttered, realizing she was behind him.

"Tohma… am I that disgusting?"

He gave her a little smile and shook his head, "Now why would you say that?"

"Because you avoid me like the plague that's why! We don't see each other anymore, and when we do, you don't have anything to say. I am your wife dammit! And to talk to you, I need an appointment. I bet Mikka, Eiri, and even those Bad Luck boys see you more than I do!" To this Tohma turned with a stern look. Mika vowed not to cry in front of him, not to show him how frustrated he made her feel, but the hot wetness made its way down her face nonetheless.

"Mika I_ am_ very busy at the moment, I have a lot on my plate," was all Tohma said, and coldly turned, going into his closet and closing the door behind him. Mika stood looking at the closed door stupefied.

"Tohma you are a coward!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. A second later the door opened to reveal a half naked Tohma. Even as mad as she was, Mika couldn't help but to admire his perfectly toned upper body.

"Don't I give you whatever you want, don't I let you do anything you wish… what do you want from me? Tohma's pitch sounded almost out of place from the angelic face. Mika pursed her lips, and stood her ground, she would not let him get away… not this time.

"I don't care about money, and what good is freedom if I cannot share it with the one I love? Maybe I want you to care about what I do, what I feel," Her tears were blinding her, but right now she didn't care.

"I care not for your affairs," Tohma let out, throwing that in the already thick air.

"Have you wondered why I have affairs Tohma… it isn't because I don't love you."

"Whatever the reason, I'm tired; I want to go to bed. You already rendered my evening to waste; and I have to go to the studio early," Tohma continued matter of fact, completely disregarding Mika's admission,

"Say what's on your mind Tohma… let me hear it please, let me not believe that you are a heartless doll!" Mika screamed, frustrated at his evasiveness, carelessness and disregard. How can the man she's given herself to so completely, care so little for her?

"What's on my mind, you really don't want to hear," Tohma begrudged, darkening his gaze.

"I do, I really do want to hear it!"

They stood facing each other like in one of those old western movies, one waiting for the other to falter. After what seemed like hours Tohma sighed and went into his dressing room, closing the door behind him.

XXX

"I want to see you," the soft voice whispered.

"Seguchi-san?" Hiro said uncertainly, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Hey, what's that? I thought we were more… acquainted than that," Tohma joked softly realizing that it was past two, and Hiro must have been asleep.

"Sorry… old habits die hard."

"Can I come over?" the need-dripped voice gave Hiro a pull in his loin. Of course he wanted Tohma to come over, and run his hands over his hot skin, soft hair, kiss the sensuous lips and hear the man moan under him… but then a picture of the man's wife came immediately to mind.

"Shuichi is home, I'd rather he not know about us yet," Hiro murmured, trying to omit the jealousy from his voice.

"Of course, I understand… let's meet somewhere then. I need to see you badly," Hiro thought about it, it would be so easy to submit, pushing his own feelings aside, but his pride screamed otherwise.

"I can't… we have to be at the studio early… you too. K-san said we're doing a colab with your band in the morning… we'll see each other then," Hiro could feel Tohma's disappointment, but moments passed and the man said nothing.

"Alright," came the low reply, "I'll see you then." The line went dead. Hiro laid awake the rest of the night, wanting, but also dreading the morning to come.

XXX

Shuichi had sat on a stool at the bar, staring blankly at the wall, until the staff kicked him out at closing. He wanted to die, crawl on his bed and sleep forever. Or wake up next to Yuki, to find that this had been nothing but a nightmare. But no such luck, it was real, all real. The man of his dreams hated him; and their possible relationship was over before it even started. He walked the streets aimlessly, until his feet were numb.

"Why me?" he whispered into the night. He found a desolated park and sat on one of the benches, willing a gang to come and beat him to a pulp… anything to take his mind off Yuki, if only for a second. No such luck – the place was as lonely and dark as his soul. Shuichi threw his head back, looking at the stars as if they held the answer to his question. He pulled a pad and pen he always carried with him for whenever inspiration hit him… and poured his heart and soul onto it.

The next morning, after writing his last love song to Yuki Eiri, and roaming aimlessly all night, Shuichi decided to forget anything ever happened with the mangaka. Hard as it might be, there was no way the man was ever interested in him, and as things stood, not even for a good casual fuck. He should have known the minute Yuki asked him to go to his studio that he was never meant to be anything but a one-night stand. And he had willingly played the whore; just thinking about it made Shuichi mad. He had been so heart broken at the bar, even felt guilty, but after analyzing the situation he thought himself in, he realized – much to his hurt – that Yuki didn't even care.

"Look who decided to grace us with his presence," Hiro smirked.

His best friend looked very happy… at least somebody was, thought Shuichi jealously. He took in the rest of the faces staring at him, noting several he didn't know.

"Shu-kun, Hiro has been trying to call you all morning," Suguru began. Shuichi shot him a glare that told the teenager that he was in no mood to be antagonized.

"Who are these people?" Shuichi asked, not bothering to reply Suguru's comment.

"They are Grasper's people… did you forget? We are to record a collaboration with them… your idea, if I may remind you," Shuichi nodded, noting that said band was not around, which meant that he was not that late.

"Where are they?" Shu asked.

Hiro shrugged and began playing a few notes on his guitar.

"Are you alright?" the longhaired man asked, after a few minutes of watching Shuichi closely.

"Yeah, I just need some coffee," the singer replied absently, making his way to the kitchenette.

"You sure?" Hiro insisted – Shuichi did not drink coffee – earning a similar glare as Suguru had before Shuichi walked away.

"Alright man, that's what I get for worrying about your ass. Anyway, if you don't trust me enough to tell me what's on your mind suit yourself, its not like I don't have my own shit to worry about. I just thought since you've been acting weird since "First Stage" I'd check on you… sorry if I stepped out of line," Hiro ended sarcastically.

Shuichi softened his expression and gave his friend a grateful look. It's true that Hiro had always been there for him, but there was nothing anyone could do now. He would have to deal with the loss of Yuki all on his own.

"Shuuuu-kun!" In spite of his sorrow, an unconscious smile made its way to Shuichi's somber face at the sound of that familiar voice. Then it grew wider as the arms that followed it came around his neck.

"Is your boyfriend still mad at you?" Ryuichi's lips were right next to his ear, and for some reason, his tone didn't have that staple innocence that made Ryuichi… well Ryuichi. The timbre Shuichi so loved from his idol was simply not there. He turned slightly to avoid touching Ryu's lips with his own.

"He's not my boyfriend Ryu-kun. Tatsuha is just my friend, he's just… weird like that."

Ryuichi smiled widely; Shu wasn't sure if he liked that smile at all.

"Where's Kumo-chan?" the singer asked suddenly worried.

"Kumo-chan?" Shu repeated confused, then it hit him, "Oh, bunny-kun, I'm sorry, I forgot to bring him," Shu apologized, not wanting to make his "other" idol mad. Ryu's arms went from his shoulders to his waist and held him tight, startling Shuichi.

"It's ok, I can get him later. Did you sleep with him… does he smell like you?" Ryuichi muttered softly in his ear, tightening his arms around him all the more. Shu was taken aback by this sudden aggressiveness from the older man.

"Sorry we're late everyone, we were having a meeting and it dragged a little longer than expected," Tohma Seguchi explained while entering, followed by Sakano-san and Ukai Noriko. It was the first time they all got to see her in person – except for Suguru of course.

She smiled widely, taking in everyone in the room and waved. K-san, of course, had to make his entrance very vocally – and annoyingly.

Nakano-san went to Hiro and began talking to him as if he were the leader of the band, not that Shuichi particularly cared at the moment. Seguchi walked past Hiro and Suguru, completely ignoring them; in fact, he seemed in a pretty sour mood… _great!_ Thought Shu rolling his eyes… _a great start for a stressful day_

"Ryuichi," Tohma Seguchi called sternly. The singer let go of him and sauntered over to his band member, but not without giving Shuichi a look that gave the younger singer the chills.

"Here are the lyrics to the colab song. Shuichi, here is your copy of the score, learn them by tonight, the same goes for you Ryuichi. We'll rehearse all day today and record tomorrow; if we want to release on time it has to be that way. I will accept neither mistakes nor excuses of any kind," Tohma looked around the room, his eyes falling for a second or two on each and every person in the room, to emphasize the fact.

"Shining Collection…" Ryuichi read aloud, and smiled from ear to ear. "I like it!"

"Like I said, today we concentrate on learning the score and coordinating our styles, and tomorrow we record," Tohma walked to Suguru's keyboard, the teen instinctively moved aside to make way for his mentor. Tohma turned the synth on and set the score on its proper place. "I'll play it once on my own, to give you the feel, then we'll do it together." Then, the blonde producer looked around, as if realizing something he hadn't before.

"What's wrong?" Noriko asked.

"It seems there are too many keyboardists," Tohma announced matter of fact, Noriko began laughing hysterically, and poor Suguru looked scared, naturally, since he was the new comer, the obvious choice would be to cut him off the project. "Noriko, please, I have a headache," Tohma added tonelessly, but with a stern face that said it all.

"Sorry, sorry, it just sounded too funny," the voluptuous woman replied still snickering.

"Noriko will play for Grasper, and Suguru for Bad Luck, Hiro will play his guitar, and both Ryuichi and Shuichi will do vocals."

"What about you?" Hiro jumped the gun, "…Seguchi-san," he added as an after thought.

"I'll mix the arrangement," Tohma replied without even looking at Hiro, then turned his attention toward the score, after setting the instrument to his liking, he began to play. Shuichi realized why the man was called master; he played effortlessly, as if he had played the song a thousand times. He changed the setting and styles a couple of times. Shuichi could tell, because he had a trained ear, and played synth as well, but to anybody else the song would have sounded flawless. Finding the right sound for it, Seguchi-san stuck with it until the end. Once finished, everyone was speechless. Shuichi thanked god he didn't have to play in front of the man; he was simply too good, impossible to match. Ryu began applauding and rooting.

"Man… Tohma-kun you're better than I remember!" Suguru turned to the older singer with a lost expression on his face. Shuichi could tell that he was feeling pretty intimidated as well.

"Hmph, a little rusty I see, ne Tohma?" Noriko let out… rusty_, did that mean he could actually do it better?_ Shuichi didn't know what to think, in that moment he felt so small and undeserving of his good fortune.

"Unlike others, I do not have time to practice," the mogul returned sarcastically.

Shuichi wondered why he was so angry, and then he froze, thinking that somehow he was responsible for it… _damn Tatsuha!_ Shu cursed inwardly

"What's wrong with you? I better have a talk to Mika," Noriko smirked, earning a glare from Tohma… and Hiro.

"Yeah Tohma-kun why are you so mad?" Ryu followed, and Seguchi just rolled his eyes.

"I have a few things to take care of, I trust you all will do what I told you… or do I have to send Usagi to supervise?" Tohma said looking straight at K-san, who miraculously had remained quiet throughout the whole session.

"Hey… you doubt me Tohma?" the blonde man laughed lightly. "I'm the one in charge of Ryu's career remember?"

"Exactly," Tohma replied coldly and K-san fell silent, whatever was bothering Seguchi- san, Shuichi wished he could fix it; he was scared of this vicious person who acted exactly the opposite of the generous producer he knew.

Tohma Seguchi went out the door without a further word. They all stood looking at one another, as if not knowing what to do.

"I've got something to do. I'll be right back," Hiro muttered and went out as well.

"Hey! You heard the boss, you're supposed to rehearse!" K-san shouted after the longhaired man, without getting any reply.

"Let him go," Suguru added absently, "If you all want to have a pleasant day, let him go talk to Tohma-kun."

Everyone turned to the youth.

"What do you mean?" Shuichi asked puzzled.

"You're pretty dense to be adults," Suguru smirked at the confused crowd.

"I _am_ dense, so if you know something I don't, why don't you tell me?" Shuichi said annoyingly, he hated the way Suguru thought himself so damn smart.

"I thought he was supposed to be your best friend," the teen looked accusingly, as if Shu was supposed to know what was going on.

"No!" exclaimed Noriko all of a sudden, then began laughing hysterically again, "And I said I should talk to Mika, when the root of the problem was standing right next to me!"

She could hardly keep her voice straight. Ryuichi exchanged looks with Shu, and they all ran out the door at the same time.

XXX

A/N: OMG! Don't tell me they'll find out about Hiro and Tohma! Kyaaaaaaaa… I hope they do, psst… is not like Tohma tries to hide it or anything. Yuki and Shuichi deserve an award for being such morons. They love each other… so suck it up and just be together man!

Next Stop: **Far East of Eden**, A lot of thing will happen... but my lips are sealed o.O All I can say is this: DON'T MISS IT!


	16. Far East of Eden

I apologize for the delay; the next chapter will be out a lot sooner. In fact is ready to be sent for proof reading, so… I'll leave it all in Jana's hands (good way to pass the "fault ball" out of my court ne?)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation, or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. Thanks to **Jana** for her beta efforts.

**R-** for adult situations and Yaoi goodness.

**Chapter Fifteen: Far East of Eden**

"Tohma!" Hiro called. The man turned, and the look on his face made Hiro stop in his tracks.

"May I help you?" The producer asked dryly, no expression on his boyish face whatsoever.

"Why are you so mad? Hiro asked concerned. True, he was jealous of Tohma's wife and shouldn't have come following after him like a little puppy… but that was just it, he cared that much for the man who had changed his life so completely.

"I am not mad, like I said; I have things to take care of. I would be rehearsing if I were you." The dryness in the usually warm voice was killing Hiro. He should be the one upset, he should be the one feeling used, but no, here he was… begging.

"I thought you were mad about last night." Hiro added. Tohma looked puzzled for a few seconds, and then shook his head.

"Hiro, how old do you think I am?" Of course Hiro didn't know, as well as he didn't know many other things. In fact, Hiro now realized, he didn't know anything about the man who could make his skin burn in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry I bothered you with my concern," Hiro returned as dryly, and then turned to head back into the studio. Tohma's expression saddened as soon as Hiro's eyes looked away.

"It just gets me how attached I seem to be; how much I need you. I don't like to lose control, and lately, that's all I seem to be doing." Tohma's tone was soft, almost back to normal. Hiro immediately turned and went to him, grabbed the back of his blonde head and gave him a quick, aggressive kiss.

"And how do you think I feel… I can't compete with that!" Hiro whispered against Tohma's lips. Tohma smiled so widely and beautifully, that it literally took Hiro's breath away.

"Is that it?" Tohma kissed Hiro this time, but tenderly, "You are jealous of my wife?" Tohma let out almost laughing as he put his arms around Hiro's neck, and kissed him deeply. They kissed for a full minute, before they realized they were in a very public place. Letting go of each other as if they had been caught red handed, they both looked about to see if there was anyone around. Tohma smiled. He was back to his normal self, and Hiro felt such a rush of desire… and something else.

"I won't take no for an answer tonight," Tohma warned, pointing one slender finger at the long haired man.

"Yes boss," Hiro saluted, and then bowed giving the blonde man a lopsided grin.

XXX

"I can't hear a thing," Ryu complained. They were all hiding around the corner, witnessing the incredibly erotic scene with incredulous eyes.

"Oh my fucking God, I leave for a little while, and I miss all the juicy ones!" Noriko whined in a low voice.

Shuichi just stood there stupefied. Never in his wildest dreams, would he have thought Hiro was gay, and involved with Seguchi Tohma on top of that. Man… had he been so caught up in his own little collapsing world to see what was going on around him?

"I think he said_… I won't take no for an answer tonight_," K-san said, straining himself to hear.

"Oh man… Tohma's getting some tonight!" Ryu rubbed his hands together as he made the comment.

"You don't sound surprised. Wait a minute… did you know Tohma is… you know rooting for the same team?" Noriko fisted a hand full of Ryuichi's hair in her hand, and turned his face to meet hers.

"Yeah… we did it once," Ryuichi stated matter of fact, and all turned to him in unison.

If someone would have told Shuichi a year ago that he would be here, at NG studios, witnessing his best friend make out with Japan's music industry's most powerful man, and that he would be listening to Ryuichi Sakuma admit that he had been involved in a sexual relationship with the same man… Shuichi would have laughed.

"You and Tohma?" Noriko almost yelled, catching herself before they were discovered.

"Yes!" K-san interrupted, "And I stood guard by the door, to make sure you didn't show up."

"I can't fucking believe this!" Noriko threw her hands up in the air.

"Me neither…" Suguru let out in awe. Just what kind of person was his cousin really? If he had thought him cool before, now, he was above God.

"Did you really sleep with Seguchi-san Ryu-kun?" Shuichi could barely form the words

"We didn't sleep… we fucked," the singer whispered in his ear seductively, then he turned to the rest smiling goofily, "It was a one time thing though, I won a bet so he had to put out, but he was way too easy to get into, so I know he must have done it before… lots of times… I wonder with whom?" The singer wondered, pensive.

"Eiri Yuki… or so the rumors say…" Suguru added feeling proud that he could add something to the conversation. Shuichi almost choked at the mention of that name… _it can't be true, it just can't be._

"That makes sense. No wonder the day I met him he said he would fuck Tohma and let me watch," Ryu smirked.

Shu turned to him sharply; this conversation was proving too much for Shuichi's heart to take. He felt ill, all the hatred he thought he developed for the mangaka the night before, evaporated and became hurt instead.

"Damn… Tohma the babe magnet, do you know I wet my pants every time I hear Yuki Eiri's name… I hate that bitch Mikka!" Noriko whispered envious. "So if you lost the bet, was he going to fuck you?" she asked Ryuichi, very interested. 'That bet makes no sense to me."

"No, he was going to take Kuma-chan and give it to Su-chan!" Suguru snapped his eyes to the singer. "Can you believe the nerve to even suggest something that cruel!" the older singer cried.

"Hiro's coming," K-san snapped and they all scrambled back into the studio and pretended to be busy. Hiro came in with a smile from ear to ear; he went to his guitar, and without paying any mind to anyone, began to play the first few notes of the new song. Shuichi couldn't take his eyes off him. He realized now, how little he knew his friend. He had thought him the least likely person to understand what he was going though… and look at him! Not only was he in the same boat, but with the man he had sworn again and again he hated more than anything. Shuichi sighed and went to his place in the studio, followed by Ryuichi. Once there, he took another look at his friend, the friend he thought he knew, but did not. His view of Hiro was now changed… forever.

XXX

Yuki stood heaving in the middle of his room. Everything lay in disarray around him. In his blind rage he had destroyed everything in his path, except for the painting that hung majestically staring down at him from its place on the wall.

"Why can't I fucking get you out of my mind?" Yuki asked staring at Shuichi's image with contempt. He grabbed a lamp from the floor and threw it forcefully missing his target… on purpose. For some sick reason he could not bring himself to hurt him, even an inanimate form. Sitting on the bed, and sighing frustratingly, Yuki pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a deep drag from it.

"Hpmh…At least you didn't wait until I've fallen too deep." The mangaka puffed at his cigarette a couple of more times and put it out, then went out of the room, daring one last glance at the fallen angel he had loved but a day before. Going into his studio, Yuki drew until his fingers felt numb. He had forgotten the feeling these past few months. He had been after the kid so obsessively that had neglected his only friends in the world. For the first time in months, the images flowed effortlessly onto the paper as if they were drawing themselves. By the end of the night, Yuki was the calmed and collected man he had once been. Before… _him_.

He came to the decision to devote himself to his manga once more, something he never should have stopped to begin with, Yuki realized a little too late. No little boys were worth the trouble, or to come between himself and his creations.

That morning Yuki Eiri walked into his office startling everyone—including a very worried Onizuka—with two months worth of Kenshin and Weiss, and also a brand new adventure, "Angel Sanctuary," about angels and demons, and a young hybrid between the two who very much resembled a certain singer. And a nemesis, who was the spitting image of Yuki himself.

XXX

"Alright, from the top!" Shuichi yelled, pumped with adrenaline. They had been at it all day. Ryuichi seconded him loudly, and everyone else moaned and whined.

"Oi, let's take a break!" Hiro complained, rubbing the back of his neck. "Besides, I have to go potty."

"Where… to the top floor?" Noriko asked flashing him a sarcastic grin. Hiro looked at her. He'd noticed the woman's teasing all day long, and it was getting on his nerves. He was two seconds from telling her off, the gig with Nittle Grasper be damned.

"I'm sure you know… there are bathrooms on this floor as well." He replied as sarcastically.

"Yeah, but the ones upstairs are 'prettier.'"

"Noriko-chan," Ryuichi came to her, smiling goofily, "leave Hiro-kun alone"

"Yeah, why don't you pick on Su-chan?" Shuichi smirked, giving Suguru a mocking glance.

"Don't call me that!" Suguru snapped.

"Why does she have to pick on anyone?" Hiro asked confused.

"Because I am a woman... I have to pick on someone. It's an unwritten rule. Today you were the unlucky one, that's all… don't take it personal… so please don't tell the boss." She batted her lashes and smiled innocently.

"Whatever…," Hiro mumbled walking away. At that moment Tohma walked in, almost bumping into him. Seguchi smiled warmly, first at Hiro, then at the rest.

"All set for tomorrow's recording session?" He asked sounding somewhat exited -very strange coming from him.

"I think so," Hiro replied.

"Good, so let's take a break. I have a lot of things to discuss with you all."

"I'm starving," Noriko whined, followed by me too's from everyone but Hiro. "I feel like eating steak... let's go to the Hard Rock Café!" She exclaimed hopeful they would all agree.

"Sounds good, we can discuss everything I have planned. We will be a very, very busy in the next few weeks. I have a full schedule for both our bands." Tohma pulled his cell phone and called his driver, telling him to bring the limo to the front. Shuichi couldn't stop staring at the man... _how could he not tell?_ His every gesture showed, though they were not feminine, but there was something… elegant, yeah that was it, a little too elegant. Hiro on the other hand seemed so natural, like nothing had changed. Shuichi wondered yet again, how long had they been "involved."

"Let's go." Seguchi said and walked ahead. Everyone seemed to fall a step behind to allow Hiro to take the spot next to the blonde producer.

"Shu-kun, did you know?" Ryu whispered conspicuously, no elaboration needed.

"No…" Shu whispered back, noticing somewhat uncomfortably the closeness of the older singer.

"Tohma told me a while back that he had a "thing" for your friend," Shuichi snapped his eyes to Ryuichi's, "but he also told me that Hiro-kun wasn't… you know, into guys,"

"How long ago was this?"

"When he called me to propose the greatest hits thing... I think." Ryu answered pensive.

"I see… so that's why he gave us a chance?" Shu said, more to himself that to Ryu.

"He didn't say that, but he really does think you guys have talent… I think so too." Ryuichi came even closer to Shuichi, giving him another uncomfortable shudder.

"Hey, what are you two shushing about?" Noriko demanded, coming between the two.

"Nothing you'd want to know." Ryu replied sweetly, "only us boys care about this sort of thing." Hiro turned to look back at them puzzled, and Suguru just shook his head, feeling very much left out.

"Tell me and I'll decide whether I care or not."

"Fine, don't complain though. I said, 'Noriko-chan put on some weight since last I saw her.'" Ryuichi mocked sweetly.

"You fucking fag!" Noriko shouted making everyone turn towards her. Ryuichi took this as an opportunity to make a run for it. She ran after him, pushing everyone out of her way. "You better pray I don't get you!" She screamed furious.

"You're so fat… you can't outrun me!" Ryuichi yelled back.

"You bastard… I hate YOU!"

"They never change…" Tohma shook his head, smiling warmly, remembering some of their "altercations" from long ago.

"Are you the only 'normal' member of Nittle Grasper?" Hiro joked.

"I'd say the most 'mature,' not normal." Tohma winked, eliciting a warm smile from Hiro. Both Suguru and Shuichi rolled their eyes to one another.

X

As it turned out, Noriko was the only one in the mood for steak. Since Hiro didn't eat red meat, he suggested sushi, and to everyone's complaining Tohma ordered the driver to take them to Tokyo's most exclusive sushi house.

"Must be nice to screw with the boss," Noriko whispered into Ryuichi's ear, who in turn did the same to Shuichi. The only ones left out were Suguru, and of course the individuals in question.

"What are you guys whispering about? I'm starting to feel bad," Hiro said eyeing them suspiciously after a while.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Suguru replied. He was two seconds away from blowing the whistle. The only reason why he didn't was the small fact that because of his comment they all found out; otherwise he would have a long time ago.

"Yes I would." Hiro turned to him, as if the teen held all the answers.

"We were talking about you and Tohma-kun," Ryuichi said with a devilish grin, before Suguru could make something up. Noriko hit him in the arm, and both Shuichi and Suguru covered their mouths in shock, "What? It's no fun if they don't know we know!" Ryuichi whined rubbing his arm, and again Noriko hit him, but much harder this time.

"Well, so much for secrecy." Tohma let out annoyed, watching Hiro carefully, and wondering, how in the world they found out?

"Don't look at me! Su-chan told us." Ryu defended his integrity.

"I did not!" Suguru shouted, looking at Tohma like a deer caught in headlights. Hiro's face underwent a drastic change of shades, until it settled back to his normally fair one.

"Alright! Who cares? Let's not talk about it, Ok?" Hiro snapped, avoiding Shuichi's eyes.

The rest of the drive was very awkward to say the least, but they managed to get there.

Once the car stopped, Hiro was the first one to jump out Tohma followed but not before turning a stern look at the remaining crew.

"I would hope this doesn't reach my wife." He pointed a direct look at Suguru, then at Ryuichi, and then turned to follow Hiro without waiting for a reply.

"You guys are the worst!" Suguru begrudged and went out of the car as well. The others just looked at one another, shrugging and snickering. All but Shuichi seemed to be cool with it.

The conversation went from anything and everything, once past the "Hiro and Tohma being involved" awkwardness. The two bands were actually having a great time. The food was ordered, brought, and the casual talk deviated back to the collaboration and the next few weeks. Tohma wanted Bad Luck to go on tour as soon as possible; to have them fresh on everyone's minds. Also he didn't want to overlap Mikka Costa's tour with the band's. Of course Nittle Grasper would not be touring, just doing TV shows, radio and such, to which Bad Luck would perform as well. Tohma wanted to focus on the new material in the Greatest Hits album, rather than the old songs. "Shining Collection" would be the first single, followed by the other three new songs.

All in all, when Tohma said they would have a busy schedule… he was not joking. Shuichi, Suguru and Hiro listened to the man talk as if he were a prophet; while Ryuichi and Noriko were more focused on the food in front of them, no doubt accustomed to it all. Shuichi's blood flowed rapidly, pumping him with adrenaline; he was so ready for this. He'd waited all his life for it. And finally at long last, his dream would become a reality. Until now Bad Luck had been on trial, the real test was about to begin. After their album was released, they would be a bona fied, honest to goodness band.

"Any questions?" Tohma addressed them, once he finished going over his plans.

"I'm cool." Noriko replied dismissively.

"Me too, you're the master Tohma-kun, I'd go to hell if you tell me to… and so would Hiro-kun." Ryuichi added shifting his eyes to the guitar player, who only glanced and rolled his eyes. He figured early on that Ryuichi Sakuma said exactly what was on his mind, without any regards for protocol or feelings.

"Ryuichi… stop it." Tohma warned sternly.

"I was just joking; you two are so uptight… I need Kumagoro, Shu let's go to your place to get him." Shuichi, as much as he liked and admired the older singer, did not want to be alone with him, not after all the very noticeable advances he had pulled all day.

"You're not funny." Noriko noted, stealing one of his sashimi.

"Tohma!" A female voice exclaimed and they all turned. Mika Seguchi, and Mikka Costa stood not ten paces away. A waiter was taking then to their table, and not far behind Tatsuha came to join them.

"Hey Shuichi!" He greeted as soon as he spotted him, and came to their table.

"We'll sit with them." Mika stated. The waiter immediately bowed, and from out of nowhere other waiters came with chairs, menus and services for them. Tohma's face took a somber look to it, but didn't object. Hiro squeezed his thigh gently to reassure him that everything was fine. The producer smiled a bit at this, then turned to his wife.

"We were having a meeting," Tohma said calmly, as soon as the staff was out of ear shot.

"Go on; don't let us disturb you… I'll just say one thing; I registered Tatsuha in school today."

"Mika!" The teen hissed between his teeth embarrassed. He had cleverly positioned himself between Shuichi and Ryuichi; Tohma rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"We can finish tomorrow after the recording session; I assume you all tuned the song to perfection." Tohma added turning away from his wife.

"What song?" Tatsuha interrupted.

"Our collaboration song." Shuichi whispered as if he was doing something wrong.

"Oh my god, nobody told me this!" The monk exclaimed utterly offended.

"Noriko… how are you? I haven't seen you in years!" Mikka quickly changed subjects away from the monk's schooling, much to his relief. "How are your husband and baby?" She asked casually.

"They're fine, Saki is already five." Noriko replied just as frivolously.

"Oh my god, how time flies, I remember when you were pregnant."

"Yeah… me too," Noriko rolled her eyes, and the three women laughed, "But you guys haven't aged a bit, Mikka. Last time I saw you was at your engagement party. My, you look even younger now… how _do_ you do it, sleep in a bubble?" The older woman awed, and all the men were left to look at one another and hope they didn't go on and on with their frivolous conversation. "So when are you finally getting married?" Grasper's keyboardist asked in a little tone.

Shuichi tried to focus on his food, but he could feel Mikka Costa's piercing gaze burning a whole on him. He tried not to show his nervousness, but was not at all sure if he was succeeding.

"Soon, very soon," The pop singer replied proudly, "On another note, Tohma we do have to talk, or have you forgotten that I am to release an album as well?" Mikka directed to the mogul.

"Of course not, I've already set up a meeting with your manager; I am sure they'll let you know." Hiro on the other hand could not help but steal glances at Mrs. Seguchi; the woman was more stunning up close, and again, his jealousy and insecurities surfaced.

"So, can I come to the studio and see you guys in action?" Tatsuha interrupted again. He was near the point of melting just by sitting next to Ryuichi, whose leg he kept rubbing with his own by "accident"

"Absolutely not!" Mika snapped immediately.

"Why not?"

"You have school."

"Not until Monday!" Tatsuha argued.

"We don't mind… ne Shu-kun?" Ryuichi added running one smooth hand over Shuichi's hair, as if to emphasize that he was speaking to him. Mikka's eyes opened wide for a second, and Tatsuha felt like smacking Shuichi, who was so mortified, he could just pass out.

Tohma stood startling everyone, "If you'll excuse us, we have work to do; in fact we were right about to leave before you came," Both bands looked at one another and stood as well.

"You haven't even touched your food," Mika noted, contesting the veracity of her husband's words.

"Can I come?" Tatsuha asked, standing as well.

"Not now," Mika muttered, grabbing him by the jacket and pulling him back down.

Tohma Seguchi gave his spouse such a hard stare, that those who knew him well were shocked. "It's almost nine; don't tell me you are going back to work?" she added accusingly. Tohma continued to stare at her intently.

"Yes I am. I will call you later," he finally said and began walking away.

"I wish I could believe you." Tohma ignored her and went to the nearest waiter to take care of their check. The rest followed suit, bowing and uttering quick goodbyes to the one's remaining.

"Mika I want to go too!" Tatsuha whined, as he watched the man of his dreams walk away, rather too close to Shuichi.

"Not now I said!" Mika's tone was not her own, as she just watched Tohma walk away without giving her a second thought. Her heart constricted in her chest and she could feel the tears rise.

"Let him go," Mikka interrupted, "So we can talk quietly." Mika didn't respond, just stared in Tohma's direction. Tatsuha gave the singer a grateful bow, and ran after the departing group.

XXX

"What was that about?" Noriko pointed one slender digit at Tohma. "You didn't have to be such an ass… she's your wife for crying out loud! If that was me, I would have slapped you in front of everyone, or at least you would have worn my drink on your pretty head." The woman accused her old friend as soon as they reached the limo.

"But that wasn't you was it, Noriko-can? So stay out of my business." He warned sternly. Noriko held her hands up in surrender and bit her tongue.

"Hey wait up!" Tatsuha yelled as ran out of the restaurant. Tohma rolled his eyes, and the rest looked puzzled.

"Wow, who the hell is the kid?" Noriko ask as if annoyed, but in fact was giving Tatsuha a glance over, marveling at the uncanny resemblance to her secret love, Yuki Eiri.

"Shu's boyfriend…" Ryuichi joked, earning a stern look from the singer and a jealous one from Suguru.

"Mika's brother." Tohma replied without turning. Tatsuha caught up to them, and before Tohma could object, claimed that Mika herself sent him away. The mogul went into the limo without acknowledging him, followed by Hiro, Noriko, Shuichi and Suguru.

"Shu told me you're not his boyfriend," Ryuichi grabbed Tatsuha by the arm and whispered in his ear before he could go in the car. The monk visibly shuddered at the close contact -visible to Suguru at least- who sat in the car glaring at the two.

"He told you huh?" Tatsuha managed to reply, frozen by the look on the older singer's face.

"I'm glad…" Ryu whispered, loud enough for only Tatsuha to hear. "I hate competition," he stated, his face dead serious- the way it only got when he sang.

"Are you guys coming or what?" Noriko shouted from inside the limo. The older singer flashed Tatsuha a smirk, and then put on his happy go lucky face for the rest to see, as he entered the car, leaving Tatsuha shaken to the core.

XXX

"What was that about?" Mikka asked watching the mortified look on her friend's face.

"I don't want to talk about it." Mika responded browsing through the menu. Mikka pursed her lips, and then continued nonetheless.

"You let him treat you like that in front of those people?" The pop singer demanded. The Mika Seguchi she knew wouldn't have allowed that.

"What am I to do? And how is that any different from you and Eiri?"

"He wouldn't undermine me like that and you know it… Mika what's going on?" Mika turned form the menu to look into her friend's eyes. Mikka could see the tears forming in the older woman's eyes.

"I think Tohma is having an affair," As the words were said, Mikka watched the tears fall from her friend's eyes.

"Is that it?" Mikka had assumed that since her friend had a stream of lovers, that they were in an open marriage. The two women had never talked about it, but judging by the mortified look on Mika's face, it was obvious that they did not.

"What do you mean '_is that it'_?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to offend you, I just thought, since you… well?" Mikka didn't know what to say without making it worse.

"It's ok; I know what you mean, and I know it is silly of me to feel this way, but I do." The woman sighed, "You must think I am a self-centered, selfish woman."

"No I don't; I just can't understand you guys sometimes."

"Neither can I. I love Tohma, and you have no idea what I went through to get him to marry me. I might be self centered and selfish, but when it comes to Tohma, he is mine and mine alone."

"Then, why do you have affairs with other men? Why don't you try to work things out with him?"

"I went through a lot to get him to marry me. He didn't love me. I knew it, and I didn't care. I am paying dearly for it now, but at times I thought that we were connecting, that we would be alright… but I guess…" A waiter came and took their order. The younger woman's sadness and frustration went away, and in its place was once again the fake façade she always displayed to others.

The woman could put up a tough front; Mikka thought as she watched her friend act as if nothing was amiss. She wished she could have that inner strength to deal with her own petty problems, to deal with Eiri and his disregard, but she was not that strong.

"It sounds as if you already gave up." Mikka added as soon as they were alone again.

"What can I do? I don't want to lose him, but if I pressure him in any way he will leave me." Mika whispered in a defeated voice.

"Isn't that better than to live everyday knowing he does not love you; to live with the fear that he can leave anytime?" Mikka thought about her own fears with Eiri, "Mika, I don't know you right now." She said finally, looking the other way

"I just don't know what to do. You tell me Mikka; how would you deal with someone who does not love you and does not consider you worthy of his time?"

"Simple, I would leave."

"Would you really?"

"Eiri and I are not the same as you two!" Mikka let out defensively.

"Then why are you getting upset."

"When did this conversation become about me. Are you in such denial Mika?"

"I think the one in denial is not me. I know exactly how Tohma feels; I'm just not willing to let go, even though I probably should."

"What is that supposed to mean… I'm not in denial!" _Why was she getting so upset?_ Mikka suddenly wanted to leave; she had not talked to Eiri all day and she was starting to worry. He had been mad the night before, and his failure to call her, told her that the magical time they shared the day before was over.

"I wanted to ask you about that boy." Mika changed the subject; she had no intention in discussing Tohma and her suspicions, with someone whose relationship was on the brinks of ending.

"What boy?"

"The boy on the TV show; the one kissing Tatsuha... Shuichi, isn't it?" Mikka shot her eyes to her Mika, shocked at first, but recovering quickly

"Oh, you saw it too." Mikka remarked absently, waiving a hand.

"Yes I saw a replay on 'Star Access'" Mika said calmly, getting the desired expression from her friend.

"Star Access!" Mikka repeated shocked. That the whole incident had been weird was a fact, but from there to become a worthy of a comment in the highest rated celebrity gossip show was whole different matter.

"I've never seen Eiri act like that before. He seemed almost…happy when he hugged that boy. No wonder he was so mad when he saw him with Tatsuha."

"Is this why you called me today?" Mikka asked resentful.

"Doesn't it worry you?" Mika drank some of her wine, observing the younger woman's expression closely.

"Why would I be? He's a little boy, and c'mon, are you implying that Eiri is interested in men?" Mikka gave a short laugh, but in reality was feeling less than confident. She knew the whole thing would be in everyone's mouth for a while, but that didn't bother her as much as the thought that Mika might be right… Eiri might in fact be interested in Shuichi Shindou.

"Just be careful, that's all I'm saying." Mika advised.

"You know, I have no time for this." The pop singer stood, "I'm going to see if Eiri is alright…I will see you later." Mikka said tightly.

"Do you even know where he is?" The oldest Uesugi asked, no sarcasm or reproach in her voice, just merely stating a fact they both knew. Mikka set her eyes on her for a minute, sighed, and then left more disturbed than she cared to admit.

Mika watched her friend go with a worried expression on her face. She was seeing herself in her friend. She wondered if she should tell Mikka about Eiri and Tohma's old romance, but then decided against it. The young singer would most likely not understand; besides Mika was not ready for Tohma to know of her knowledge on the matter. That little ace, she would keep up her sleeve for now. Sighing, she pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Where is he?" She said simply.

"At the studio." A male voice replied.

"Good, keep me informed."

"Should I call you once he leaves?"

"Only if he goes somewhere out of the ordinary." And with that Mika hung up the phone. Hiring a detective was low on her part. But she was determined to find out what Tohma was up to, whether her feelings would be destroyed or not.

XXX

A/N: I was told by a reviewer that **Far East of Eden** is not a Gravitation song. Let my clarify this by saying "Shindou Shuichi: Vocal Collection" Oh yes, there are a lot of unknown songs in that one-- my personal favorite is "Blade"-- Not heard in Gravitation, nor the OVA, but I guess inspired by it… like Predilection… good enough for me.

On another note, what is that Mika up to? Don't tell me Hiro and Tohma will be caught! NOOOOOOOOO!

Next Stop: **Sweet, Sweet Samba**. More Hiro and Tohma goodness (this time there will be 'goodness' if you know what I mean) Enjoy it while it last, because I will be wrapping up their story soon… to give way to the "real" point of the story YUKI AND SHUICHI MAKING UP ALREADY!


	17. Sweet, Sweet Samba

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/anime mentioned within this story, I do this for fun… so don't you dare squeak to Murakami-sama.

NC-17 for mature content and sexual situations, and of course YAOI goodness. Thanks to **Jana** for her beta efforts

**Chapter Sixteen: Sweet, Sweet Samba**

"Wow, they're awesome!" Exclaimed Tatsuha as he watched his idols at work; Ryuichi and Shuichi sang in perfect sync, their voices almost echoing each other. The young monk was so happy; coming to Tokyo had definitely been the best thing ever to happen to him.

"You missed Tohma-sama this morning. It was beautiful." Sakano-san added remembering his beautiful boss playing the very same song to perfection that morning.

The quiet manager would have much rather have him recording the tune instead of Suru-kun, but he had to admit the kid was very good as well. That aside, Sakano found himself feeling very sad at the moment. K-san had told him about Shashou-sama and Hiro-kun and he could not believe it…or wanted to think about it.

"Tohma-oniisan played this morning! Man, I so would have so wanted to see that. The videos do not do him justice!" Tatsuha swayed this way and that to the rhythm of the song. "I'm definitely coming to the recording tomorrow!"

"I'm afraid I cannot let you do that Tatsuha-kun." Sakano responded pushing up his glasses.

"Why not? I'll behave I promise, you won't even know I'm here… please Sakano-san," Tatsuha pouted. He took one look at Ryuichi and thought his world would collapse if he didn't get to see the man of his dreams in action... again

"Sorry, it's the rules. Even if I were to let you in… which I'm not… Seguchi-san would forbid it."

"Oh man, this fucking world is so unfair." The doors opened and K-san came in loudly as always, followed by Tohma. Tatsuha thought about asking him to let him come to the recording session, but one look at his face told the teenager that he was better off hiding all together.

"Alright, let's call it a day!" K shouted and pulled his gun, giving Tohma a smug look. Apparently he was the only one who didn't give a crap if the head of NG was upset.

"If you so much as touch that trigger, I will personally make you regret it." Tohma warned in an icy tone. Since the restaurant, he had had the same sour face. The only person he kind of gave any other sort of expression, was the long haired guitarist from Bad Luck, whose name Tatsuha couldn't remember.

"C'mon Seguchi-sama… who do you think I am?" K-san replied smugly, earning another icy look from the blonde producer. Everyone had stopped playing already and were talking to each other about their performances. Tohma walked over to them and stood next to Hiro.

"Shall we go?" He commanded softly, not even acknowledging the others, and began walking away.

"See you all tomorrow." Hiro waved and went with Tohma. Tatsuha thought this to be very weird; he was no genius, but he could tell that those two were a bit too close to be just "business partners."

X

Shuichi didn't understand what the hell was going through Hiro's mind; he was acting like Seguchi's bitch. Not only was he most certainly his lover, not caring that the man was married, but he hadn't even mentioned a royal word to him about it, and since the restaurant, was avoiding him at all costs. Now here he was, following the man out, past midnight to god knows where.

"Hiro!" Shuichi called. "Are you coming to the apartment?" Hiro looked at Tohma, then back at him.

"Yeah… why?" He replied hesitantly.

"We're riding together in the van, right?" Shuichi could feel Hiro's apprehension and Seguchi's disappointment, although the older man said nothing, it was clear that he wanted to hog Hiro all to himself. Shuichi had other plans though, and those included talking some sense into his clueless friend. Shuichi had a duty as a friend, to remind him of the Maiko crazed man he used to be.

"Sure…" Hiro responded skeptically. He wanted to be alone with Tohma so badly, to ask him about his wife and try to make sense of it all, but he couldn't leave Shuichi hanging either. Especially since he felt so guilty for not telling him before and having him find out through Suguru.

"We'll take my car." Seguchi said tonelessly and walked towards the door. Shuichi gave Hiro an annoyed look and followed.

"Shuuuuuu-kun!" Ryuichi ran towards him and threw himself on his back, "You were great!" The older singer whispered in his ear giving him the chills. Shuichi had no idea what got into his idol, but it was starting to scare him.

"You were great too Ryu-kun." He managed to say, before Tatsuha was all over his face glaring daggers.

"Yes Shu-kun, you _were_ great," The monk let out tightly.

"Wasn't he?" Ryuichi agreed jumping from Shuichi's back, "Let's go to your place to get Kuma-chan." Shuichi did not want to take Ryuichi to his place. Ordinarily he would have killed for the opportunity, but as things stood now, he wanted nothing to do with either of the two men in front of him.

"I'm kind of tired… I promise I'll bring him tomorrow." Shu replied absently, looking in Hiro's and Seguchi's direction and wincing when he realized they were already gone.

"No fair, I need Kuma-chan, besides I really want to see your place," The older singer husked. Shuichi gave him a half smile and went after his room mate/ "best friend."

"We'll hang out tomorrow, I promise." Shu waived already on his was out. Ryuichi took his arm to stop him.

"You won't escape tonight…Shuichi-kun" The way Ryuichi said it, gave Shu the creeps. The young singer gulped audibly, earning a smug smirk from the older man.

"Hey, hey, I'm sure he's tired. Don't you guys have to be back tomorrow really early?" Tatsuha stood in between the two vocalists. Shuichi couldn't be more grateful for it. Ryuichi let Shu's arm go and just stared at him with disappointment clear in his green eyes.

"We'll hang out tomorrow Ryu-kun, I promise." Shu repeated and went quickly out the door before something else came up.

"Why did you do that?" Ryu asked, shifting his eyes to Tatsuha. The young Uesugi flashed a cocky smile, although in reality, he was feeling very intimidated by the godlike man in front of him. Ryuichi's eyes were as if on fire, and Tatsuha could not help to feel a bit scared, but also very turned on.

"You chased him away… you're gonna have to keep me company now," Ryuichi continued lowly. It was Tatsuha's turn to swallow hard.

"Hey I'm here too, I can keep you company as well." Suguru added from his synth. Tatsuha turned to him and gave him a venomous look, which the other teen ignored.

"Cool!" exclaimed Ryuichi changing demeanor, and giving Tatsuha a smile pretty much as the monk had done him, not a minute before.

**XXX**

"Wait up!" Shuichi caught the two lovers as they were getting into a sleek, black sports car. Hiro beckoned, to allow him to get in the back, and Seguchi didn't even look at him.

"What took you so long? We almost left without you." Hiro whispered as the young singer passed him; Shu made a face and went in the car. Hiro sat up front in the passenger seat, and Seguchi took off in full throttle right away, without even waiting for them to buckle up.

"Killer ride!" Hiro commented stretching in place. "Can I borrow it sometime?" He joked.

"Sure," Tohma Seguchi replied, sounding cheery for the first time all day.

"I was just joking… I wouldn't know what to do with all these horse power" Hiro smiled.

"That's the same thing I thought, but I wouldn't drive anything less now." Seguchi smiled back and gave Hiro a little wink.

Shuichi felt like gagging, and it was not because he was overly disgusted about the whole affair. It was jealousy. Hiro and Seguchi seemed so natural around each other, that it was almost revolting. He had wanted that kind of relationship with Yuki, dreamed of it for years, and now it would never happen. Shu blew a stray strand of hair out of his eyes annoyed, and looked out the tiny window. He couldn't see anything, but it was better than to look at the two in front of him getting all mushy.

"How are you feeling Shuichi-kun?" Seguchi asked warmly. Funny how the guy changed his whole _"I'm the boss around here and you better do what I tell you," _demeanor as soon as they left the NG building.

"I'm alright," Shuichi replied nonchalantly. He couldn't help but feel a certain dislike for the guy, every time he remembered his poor wife's face as they left the restaurant.

"How are … things?" Seguchi asked. Shu knew exactly what he meant, and had no intention of discussing Yuki with him. If he wanted to know so badly, he could ask him himself.

"Fine," Shu replied absently.

"Glad to hear it," The man answered with a small wink, and turned his attention back to Hiro, giving his best friend what was possibly the biggest smile Shuichi had ever seen. Another little stab of jealousy tugged at Shuichi. He only hoped to get home soon so he could take a shower, go to sleep, and hopefully never wake up.

XXX

Tohma walked into the room, and the smell of Hiro was everywhere hitting him deliciously and stroking all of his senses. Hiro walked in after him and closed the door softly.

"I Like it." Tohma smirked sarcastically, looking at the various rock and metal posters plastered on the walls. Letting his eyes linger on a Nittle Grasper one on the ceiling, right above the bed. There were faces of other rock stars pasted over Ryuichi and Noriko's faces. "That one kind of looks out of place though." Tohma pointed at the giant almost life size image of himself.

"Yeah well, I couldn't find one of you alone… all sold out. Still to this day you guys are hot." Hiro muttered absently taking off his shirt. Tohma turned his attention to him, admiring his well defined back.

"Do you… think I'm hot?" The producer walked to Hiro and traced a finger down his back. The long haired man almost jumped, startled, and then turned to meet his life's biggest dilemma's eyes.

"I think you look better in your Grasper days." Hiro teased, "… you know, all wild." Tohma smiled and kissed the tip of Hiro's nose. "About the restaurant…" Hiro began; Tohma covered his lips with his own, before Hiro could finish the sentence. Hiro closed his eyes, trying to forget the woman's sad gaze as they left the restaurant, but utterly unable to do so.

Putting his hands on Tohma's shoulders, Hiro pushed him away gently to make his lover face him. "We have to talk about it."

"No we don't; there's nothing to talk about. I've been married to Mika for years, and I don't feel anything other than brotherly love for her. That won't change, and it has nothing to do with you. I don't want to talk about it… especially to you," Tohma concluded, matter of fact. Hiro held Tohma's gaze, he wanted to say "fine by me" and continue as if nothing was wrong, but he had so many questions that demanded answers, and he wasn't that kind of person.

"I can't, I mean, if we are to be together we have to be honest with each other. You might not love her like you said, but that doesn't mean you can go around hurting her."

"What are you saying?" Tohma's face took on a grave look.

"I don't know what I'm saying," Hiro admitted. He knew they shouldn't be together, but he wanted to be with Seguchi, and was tired of doing what he "should" instead of what he wanted.

"Hiro," Tohma took a hold of his face, and kissed his lips tenderly, "Why do you have to complicate things?" If her own brother didn't mind, why should you?" Hiro looked puzzled for a moment, and then remembered Suguru's gossip.

"So it's true. You and Yuki Eiri were lovers?" He gave a short ironic laugh and looked the other way. Tohma seemed shocked that Hiro would know… but then again.

"I don't want to hide anything from you. Yes Eiri and I were lovers. From before I even married Mika, but that is over now." Hiro was a bit taken aback to hear that. If they had been lovers from before, that meant the relationship between the two men ran deep. And if it continued so long after Tohma married Yuki's sister, it must have been very meaningful. Hiro wondered, a bit more concerned than he should be, why they had finally ended it.

"Just as I'll be when you find someone else," The guitarist blurted, feeling a bit hurt; he had so wished that rumor was nothing but gossip.

"You're different," Tohma countered, feeling just as hurt.

"Yeah, how would you know that? We don't even know anything about each other. To you I'm probably nothing but a 'new' fuck," Hiro blurted, realizing too late that he didn't mean it. Tohma's face remained the same, but his eyes clearly showed his pain.

"Let's not fight," The mogul whispered imploringly, lacing his arms around Hiro's waist, and pulling him close.

"Yeah… let's not, but your wife part the arguments isn't over," Hiro warned, giving Tohma a peck on the nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, it's just that there are so many gorgeous people in your life that I cannot comprehend what you see in me."

"Yes it is. Mika is not a subject I want to discuss with you, I'll handle my problems on my own, and spare you the grief" Tohma whispered back searching Hiro's lips with his own. "And don't you ever compare yourself to anyone; you are you and I…" He looked the other way, then back at Hiro smiling.

They kissed long and tender, then more passionately as the minutes passed, Tohma running his hands over Hiro's back, and Hiro, undoing Tohma's shirt

"I have to take a shower," Hiro let out, kissing Tohma's face in between words.

"So do I." The smirk in the usually cool headed producer's face almost made Hiro laugh.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, naughty, naughty," Hiro clicked his tongue, while pulling Tohma's shirt off and guiding him to the bathroom. Both men were shivering with the anticipation of their own passion.

"I'm not too good at this…" Hiro whispered parting his lips from the older man; Tohma smiled warmly, knowing exactly what his young lover meant. Slowly, seductively, Tohma stripped, allowing Hiro to drink him in, and then came to him and did the same, guiding him to the shower and letting the warm water caress them both.

"I'll show you," Tohma whispered, releasing a throaty gasp at the sight of Hiro's rigid sex in front of him. He kissed Hiro, ravaging his mouth almost brutally, then broke the kiss and began nipping and licking his way down Hiro's body just as desperately. Tohma's mouth working its languid, torturous way, from the neck, to the shoulders, to the taunt nipples, not sparing any bit of flesh, until he took Hiro's need into his mouth, inch by inch, until the whole of it reached the back of his throat. Tohma began expertly tasting his young love in abandon. Hiro gasped, throwing his head back, letting his back rest on the white tiled wall, relying on it to hold his body up from his weakening knees.

"Oh god… how I wanted to do this..." Tohma murmured anxiously in a raspy voice, barely able to keep himself from climaxing right there and then.

"Hey!" Hiro held his lover's head lovingly, but firmly, "Go easy on me? You'll break it off." He threaded his fingers through the blonde wet locks; almost pulling them as the producer not only disobeyed his lover's request, but sucked harder, eliciting another deep moan from the younger man. "Damn you and your expert mouth!" Hiro joked, trying pathetically to regain composure, Tohma made no reply, as he busied himself in the task of pleasuring his new lover.

Hiro's moans intensified and lengthened, bringing Tohma close to completion. He quickened his pace, but was stopped by shaky hands once more. "No…I don't want to come yet…" Tohma complied by kissing his way up to claim the guitarist' lips forcefully once more. They kissed roughly and explored each other everywhere their hands could reach.

"I… need… to," Tohma rasped desperately. Hiro needed no more words, taking the slender hips; he flipped Tohma, chest flat on the white tile and parted his legs, pulling him up towards him.

"I don't want to hurt you," The long haired man hissed concerned--but just as desperately-- hoping he didn't have to stop.

"You won't… just fuck me?" Hiro's shaft pulsed at the raw words, loving the sound of them in the angelic voice. Nipping Tohma's back, he entered him as gently as he could possibly bring himself to, given his current state of need. The even needier producer was in no mood for tender loving and pushed his hips back hard, ramming Hiro's rock hard sex into himself.

"Oh God!" Hiro exclaimed as the intense sensation shook him to the core. He didn't move, couldn't move, but again, his skilled lover rewarded him with another piece of heaven, as he began to move his hips in a …oh so provocative manner. "God… Tohma, I'm not going to last." The younger man held on to the slim hips as if they would hold him from falling to his knees "Tohma…Tohma…," Hiro called over and over, relishing in the sweet sound of his lover's moans. He began to move as well, in a circular motion, the way he had liked—eons ago it seemed—when he did it with women.

"Ahhh!" It was Tohma who was rendered speechless this time. With shaky hands, he took one of Hiro's hands and guided it to his own neglected shaft. No instruction needed, Hiro took it, and in sync with his own thrusts, pumped away.

"Oh god… how I love you," Tohma whispered almost too low for the younger man to hear the words, but he did. Hiro's eyes opened wide in shock at the unexpected admission, and something warm coursed through him. Then everything exploded as he hit the most intense, mind blowing orgasm of his entire life.

Tohma was sent to heaven as well as the sensual vocalizations of Hiro's passion reached his ears, and the shuddering weight of his satisfied body fell on him. Time stood still, and so did they. As soon as their hearts calmed and went back to a normal speed. The two men looked at one another and began laughing like two little boys who had gotten away with mischief.

"I love you too…" Hiro mumbled after the laughter subsided.

"Shh," Tohma put one digit over Hiro's lips, "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I do mean it."

"No you don't, but that's alright… I can wait. I can wait forever." They kissed tenderly for a few seconds, and then actually took a shower.

XXX

Mika sat at home alone… again. The look Tohma gave her at the restaurant would not leave her mind. It hurt more than anything. She looked out the window, remembering the past, the past that never failed to hunt her like a demon, especially in nights such as this, when Tohma in his subtle ways reminded her of the reason of his unhappiness.

_**xxx Flashback xxx**_

"Seguchi Tohma is a great catch Mika-chan," Her mother said, while she helped her make tea for her boyfriend. Mika was happy that her mother thought so, but truly didn't care. She had fallen in love with the mild mannered and beautiful college student from the moment she laid eyes on him, and no one, not even her parents would come between her and the man she'd chosen for herself.

Now, there were two issues coming between her dream and reality.

First, that as hard as she had worked to get Tohma to go out with her, he was being seduced by Sakuma Ryuichi to join him in his music band. Of course she was completely against it, but there was no changing Tohma's mind. And since she had already decided to play the helpless little lover who would do anything for love to make Seguchi Tohma hers for good, even if that meant acting like the supportive damsel to a lost cause, so be it. He would come to his senses eventually.

Second, the real problem was the interest Tohma had seemed to develop for Eiri. Since he'd seen him wandering around the pond, there had not been a day since that Tohma hadn't asked something about the blonde, pretentious asshole.

In the beginning they had been simple questions such as what was his age, why was he so mean, how come he never came out to say hello, to the more personal and disturbing questions Tohma was asking lately… Does he have a girlfriend? Do you think he likes me as your prospect boyfriend? Would he like to come to one of our gigs? Is his blonde hair and light eyes natural? Mika was tired of Tohma bringing him up every single time. And Eiri wasn't helping matters much either. He didn't leave his room much, but every time Tohma came about, he found some excuse to pop up. It was beginning to frustrate her.

She took the tray and warned her mother not to come in and ruin the mood.

As Mika walked carefully with the delicate pottery, she thought she overheard voices.

"Damn Tatsuha!" Mika cursed, her little brother always came barging in. She had warned the kid time and time again not to interrupt her when Tohma came to visit. Tohma on the other hand, thought the kid was so cute, that all he wanted to do as soon as he saw him wandering about was to play with him, forgetting all about her. As she came closer, she realized the alien voice she was hearing was not Tatsuha's, but Eiri's. She set the tray on the floor, and went to eavesdrop. Eiri had never talked to any guest who came visit… ever.

"Eh, so you're in a band now?" Eiri stood not three paces away from Tohma, in a rather personal posture, one hand on his hip, and the other falling casually to his side. His long and slender figure looked almost feminine, and his longish blonde hair looked almost luminescent against the approaching dusk

"I've been for a little while. We're releasing our first album in a few weeks. Don't tell your sister though; she thinks I'm still thinking about it… you should come see us Eiri-kun," Tohma said in his agreeable voice. It almost sounded as if they knew each other well.

"Is that an invitation, or a command… Tohma-oniichan." The sarcasm mixed with seduction was not lost on Mika. That and the fact that she had never heard her brother talk like that to anyone.

"It is not a command, but I'd really like you to come and see me play. It would mean a lot to me."

"Wouldn't your woman get upset?"

"You enjoy taunting me, ne Eiri?" Tohma stood and faced Eiri; they were so close that it seemed as if they would kiss. Mika looked on, not knowing what to do, or what to think. Even she didn't get that cheeky with Tohma. She thought about going in and demanding Eiri to leave Tohma alone, but something told her to look on; that something would happen.

Eiri took another step forward; their bodies were actually touching now. Eiri brought his face down to meet Tohma's, and smirked in such a seductive way that it even gave Mika chills.

"I enjoy doing other things to you Tohma-oniichan." Then he ran his tongue over Tohma's lips slowly. Mika had to hold her mouth to keep from gasping aloud. Then Eiri took a few steps toward the exit. "I'll go see your band, but only if you let me do naughty things to you afterwards."

"Is that a promise?" Tohma replied in an identically sensual tone.

"I'll be very, very naughty… _that_… I promise."

_**xxx End of Flashback xxx**_

Mika's thoughts were interrupted by the ring of her phone; she looked at the caller ID wearily. She didn't feel like being bothered tonight; but she winced as the name of the private eye she had hired was displayed on the screen.

"Yes," She replied coldly, not wanting the man to know how affected she was by it all.

"Seguchi-san, sorry to disturb, but…" The man began.

"Get to the point."

"Yes of course. Your husband just pulled in at an apartment building in the center of Tokyo; very exclusive I might add."

"By himself?"

"No, with two other men."

"Men? Describe them to me please."

"One has long hair, somewhat tall, and the other one, it's hard to say, he already went in the building… I've seen them before, I just can't remember where."

"Where is this building?" The man gave her the address, and to her dismay she realized it was but a few blocks away. She hung up her phone and ran to her car. Ten minutes later she was there. Of course there was nothing but a very posh building, and no way for her to find out anything more. The private eye came to meet her, and told her he had taken some photos. He handed her a Polaroid, and promised professional quality ones by tomorrow night. The picture was very fuzzy and dark, but even so, she could tell it was the Bad Luck boys Tohma was with. Then something struck her. Upon closer inspection of the photograph, she gasped. Tohma was holding hands with one of them. She sat in her car crying. The feeling of betrayal she felt with Eiri came back all over again tenfold.

"You owe me, bastard!" Mika pulled her phone and dialed a number. "Oh, you owe me."

XXX

A phone kept ringing and ringing. Shuichi was about to go find it, grab it and smash it against the wall. It wasn't enough that Hiro and Seguchi were very obviously doing things he didn't even want to think about, but that damned phone hadn't stopped ringing ever since. He knew it wasn't Hiro's; the ring was different, and his own had Glaring Dream as a ringer. _How pathetic_, Shuichi thought mildly as he got up from his bed and went to look for the infernal device.

"Who the fuck gets a ringer that loud, for Kami's sake?" The singer whined, but in truth, it wasn't that loud at all. It was just the emptiness of his heart the reflected on everything else. Shu followed the sound, and soon discovered that it came from a dark designer blazer that could only belong to Seguchi Tohma. He contemplated whether or not he should take a peak to see who it was, but then again, it was none of his business. He most likely wouldn't know anyway… however, the phone had not stopped ringing for a long time, five minutes or longer, Shuichi calculated, which meant, it had to be an emergency. He made up his mind, and rummaged though the pockets coming across two phones--Shu wondered why his boss needed two of them—as he took the one making the irritating noise, and without looking to see who it was, answered it.

"Tohma... what the fuck took you so long?" Shuichi let the phone drop from shock, then quickly picked it up. He couldn't possibly talk to him… _what the hell was he supposed to do?_ "Tohma I'm in no mood to play?" His love grunted. Shuichi breathed in and out in a pathetic attempt to calm his heart.

"He…Hello," Shu replied nervously, trying his best to mask his voice.

"Who the fuck are you? Where is Tohma?" The voice on the other side snapped impatiently. Shuichi felt like crying but would not let him sense it.

"Hi, yes… I'm sorry Seguchi-san is not available right now, would you like to leave a message?" Shu could barely manage the words and hoped to heaven Yuki didn't recognize him… then again, why should he? They hardly spoke to each other the night they were together. The man might not even remember what his voice sounded like.

"What the hell are you doing answering Tohma's private line, are you Hiro?" Shuichi's heart nearly stopped… _Yuki knew about Hiro?_ Just exactly how long has his best friend been involved with their producer? Shuichi remembered what Suguru had said about Yuki and Seguchi, feeling relief that it might very well not be true. Of course it wasn't. If it were, why would Yuki know about Hiro? And why would he accept it? Shu's heart began beating fast in his chest, all his emotions in turmoil. "Well?" Yuki demanded.

"Yes… I'm sorry, Tohma is not around. Actually he left his jacket here. He forgot it." Shuichi replied nervously.

"I see," Yuki said tonelessly. "Does he have his other phone?"

"No, both of them are here."

"Shit! Do you know where to find him?" Yuki snapped. In fact, he sounded stressed. Shuichi wondered what in the world was making his love so upset. He wished he could be right there with him, and make all his worries go away.

"Yes… I think so." Shuichi replied after a few seconds.

"Good. Tell him to get his ass home fast. It's my sister, he'll know." Yuki instructed.

"Is there something wrong with Mika-san?" Shuichi asked concerned, he remembered her sad face as Seguchi walked away from her at the restaurant, remembering the hurt in her eyes. He himself understood so well what she was going through. Shuichi made a small vow to talk Hiro into reason. His best' friend latest acts, proved that he did not know him as well as he thought. But Shu was sure that Hiro did not hurt people intentionally, and that he could talk some sense into him.

"What would you care?" Yuki asked amusedly. "She's the enemy; you're not supposed to care." His love laughed as if the pain of his own sister was funny.

"I do care! I'm not some heartless bastard like you!" Shuichi yelled, forgetting his pretence. "Not everyone is an asshole!" The singer continued, his own pain speaking now. 'Not everyone uses people and dispose of them as if they were toys!" The tears streamed down his face, and the words were beginning to choke in his throat. Shuichi covered his mouth and hanged up realizing what he had just done.

"Shit, shit, shit!" He cursed as he forcefully wiped his tears away. "Now you've done it!" Shu put the phone back, and no sooner than he had accomplished this, it began ringing again. This time, he let it ring for an eternity, each ring pulling him deeper and deeper into that black hole he'd been the night before. Although this time, Shindou Shuichi saw a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

…_Maybe Yuki Eiri isn't who he thought; maybe the cold and emotionless front is not a front, but the real man. Maybe he has been so in love with an illusion all these years that he had failed to see reality…I'm a fool…Shuichi thought, a fool with a child's dream, but no more. It's time to wake up and grow out of it once and for all…_

As Shuichi thought these somber thoughts, something lifted inside of him, and for the first time in a long time, he felt… free.

XXX

**A/N:** Ok so Tatsuha didn't really get anything like I promised last chapter, but that's only because I had to cut this chapter short. It was dragging too long and I know some of you prefer shorter chapters. Next chapter though… something good is going to happen. I promise on my honor as an angsty drama queer writer.

Now: What does Shuichi mean by **FREE**! Don't tell me he's gonna forget all about Yuki. I"LL KILL HIM! Why am I writing this for then? (Throw hands up in the air and waive them as she just don't care… but she does!)

Next Stop: **Masking Pleasure Around.** Yes! Tatsu-kun will get his pay day! Or is he? Don't miss it!

If you like to be added to my update list, let me know in the form of a review or email me at my yahoo email adress (which for some reason won't save when I type it )


	18. Masking Pleasure Around

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/anime mentioned within this story.

**NC-17** for Yaoi goodness and adult content. Thanks to Jana for her insightful beta efforts

**Chapter Seventeen: Masking Pleasure Around**

Tatsuha sat quietly staring at his idol-- the man who was responsible for his homosexuality. Ever since he saw him, back when he was but a small child, he knew, from the bottom of his soul that he wanted to be with him. At the time, the young Uesugi had had no idea what sex, love, passion, or even relationships were. The only thing he knew was the overwhelming warmth Sakuma Ryuichi invoked in him, a feeling that threatened to eat him whole.

After the awesome rehearsal session; Tohma, Shuichi and the guitar player from Bad Luck left in the same car. Ryuichi had wanted to go with them, but Shuichi had said that he was tired, and that had been that. Ryuichi had whined and complained, but the promise from the younger singer that they would hang out the next day, calmed Ryuichi down and he let him go.

Tatsuha was overcome with jealousy, as blind as he was in his infatuation with the older singer, he could tell that his idol was really into Shuichi. That and of course Ryuichi's own warning after they all left the restaurant.

Noriko left by herself, Sakano-san went to his office to take care of some legal matters, the rest of the crew of course were the first to leave. And so, that left Suguru, K-san, Ryuichi and himself left in the studio.

"We should go." K said putting a hand on Ryuichi's shoulder, "We have to be back early in the morning to record the new song."

"But why didn't Shu-kun want me to come along? I need Kuma-chan." Ryuichi wailed pouting.

"He said he was tired and needed to rest… same goes for you." K spoke to the singer as one would to a child.

"I know, let's go to his house!" Ryu brightened, ignoring his manager's advice.

"Ryuichi, let's go home, you'll get Kumagoro tomorrow. I think-- if you allow me to give you my opinion that is, that you're scaring Shuichi-kun."

"I'm not! Am I scary Tatsu-kun?" Ryuichi turned to the monk, giving him chills at the sound of his own name in his godly voice, and warmth to his gut because the man remembered it.

"Of course not!" Tatsuha said confidently, thanking once again his ability to remain cool and collected, no matter what he was feeling inside.

"Am I scary Su-chan?" The singer turned to Suguru after hearing Tatsuha's answer.

"No, not scary… intense I would say." The teen replied.

"Intense," Ryuichi repeated proudly. Tatsuha noticed a glint in his eyes, a glint that spoke of a passionate man, of a man who got what he wanted, when he wanted it. A man, Tatsuha wanted to belong to more than anything. "I don't feel like going home yet… let's go Karaoke!" Ryuichi suggested, earning a disapproving eye roll from K-san.

"I know a great bar!" Tatsuha jumped with anticipation. He could already see his idol singing by the purple neon lights at the bar he and Shuichi had been at the night before.

"Cool… Let's go!" Ryuichi put his arm around the young monk's shoulder, making Tatsuha's knees go weak.

"I'm coming too!" Suguru got up from where he sat and joined them. Tatsuha glared at him, but the annoying brat didn't seem to care.

"Yay! The more the merrier." Ryuichi laughed, putting his other arm around Suguru's shoulder and marching to the door.

…And here they were now, listening to God himself sing.

Ryuichi was in the process of singing one of Mikka Costa's most popular songs. God, if the woman could only hear him, she'd be jealous and embarrassed at how much better the song sounded in Nittle Grasper's front man's voice.

"Wow, Sakuma-san you're great!" Suguru yelled as he applauded profusely. Ryuichi jumped down from the little podium, and ran to cover Suguru's mouth.

"What are you doing Su-chan; you want us to get mobbed?" Suguru shook his head rapidly. Ryuichi let him go, and then flashed him a smile. "Then let's keep our names to ourselves ne?" The man husked and turned to Tatsuha, "eto…" Ryuichi stared at the monk trying to remember his name, "Tatsu-kun! is your turn" Tatsuha got another pull to his loin, but didn't show it. He got up and went to the Karaoke machine, inserted his token and hit the random button. _Glaring Dream_ spelled out in big bold letters on the screen. The monk shook his head and smirked, "Damn… the song already made it to the Karaoke bars." Tatsuha sighed and went on to the little singing stage.

"Wow Tatsu-kun, you're so lucky. I wish I had that song!" Ryuichi said envious as the music started. Tatsuha took the mic and winking at the older man, then began to sing.

He didn't even have to read the lyrics; he already knew them by heart, he began to sing the romantic lyrics, and both Suguru and Ryuichi listened intently-- Ryu drinking from his pitcher, and the brat biting his nails-- He didn't sound anything like Shuichi. His voice was much deeper, but he thought he was doing pretty well for being a monk with no talents other than to seduce people. Tatsuha closed his eyes and imagined he was singing for his god and his god alone.

"Whoo, hoo!" Ryuichi rooted once the song ended, "Man that was awesome! Come here, I'll buy you a drink!" Tatsuha smiled proudly as he made his way back to them. Suguru gave him a disapproving look.

"That _was_ good, but you know you're not old enough to drink Tatsu-kun." The straight arrow kid admonished with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you ever relax?" Tatsuha got close enough to the teen's face to allow him to smell his breath. Suguru inhaled, and closed his eyes. "See, I've already had some, a little more won't kill me. Maybe Su-chan, you should have a drink too, it'll help you loosen up." Suguru opened his eyes hopeful, but the monk had already moved on and was drinking with Ryuichi.

The three of them stayed at the bar singing, drinking and being obnoxious until the place closed. Suguru had no idea how- being as loud as they were- no one recognized Japan's number one pop idol.

Tatsuha on the other hand, didn't miss any opportunity to get close and touch the older singer. And the man was so oblivious in his drunkenness that he was actually doing the same.

"Why don't you fuck him right here and now?" Suguru let out sarcastically as the monk helped Grasper's lead singer to his feet; Tatsuha shot him a glare, and then a mischievous smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to see that… ne Su-chan?"

"Whatever man, we have to go, the place is already closed, and Sakuma-san and I _do _have to work in a few hours… unlike certain people I know." The disgust in the teen's voice was unmasked. It made Tatsuha smirk widen.

"Then go, nobody is stopping you."

"K-san told me to keep an eye on him." Suguru argued defiantly pointing his nose to Ryuichi-- who had sat back in his chair looking disoriented.

"That's ok, I'll take over your precious task; I doubt you can protect him anyway."

"Fuck you!"

"Wouldn't you like that…? Suguru-kun" Tatsuha got on Suguru's face and husked seductively, running his tongue over the teen's cheek, making him jump, shudder, and then blush, all in a space of a few seconds.

"Get away from me you freak!" Suguru pushed the taller boy forcefully, but Tatsuha didn't move an inch.

"Fine, let's go," Tatsuha said switching gears. Ryuichi tried to get up, but fell right back on his ass.

"Ryuichi-san… you're really drunk," Tatsuha whispered as he helped his idol stand, and putting one of the singer's arms around his own shoulder.

Tatsuha had watched him down one beer after another, and then hard liquor as if it were water. The monk in him knew the man was getting hopelessly drunk and that he should have said something, but yet, he allowed Ryuichi to lose all awareness of his actions. Deep inside, Tatsuha wanted Ryuichi to get so stoned that he would do just about anything.

"Just call K," The singer slurred, giving Tatsuha a breathtakingly beautiful smile.

"Where's your cell?" The monk asked wincing. He wanted this chance to take the idol home, but couldn't force it either. So he did his hest to frisk him, without seeming too conspicuous about it. The feel of Ryuichi's lean muscles almost made him gasp aloud.

"It's not by my dick… that's for sure." Ryuichi slurred and smiled again, tripping and making them both fall.

"Here… I'll look for it." Suguru offered casually rolling his eyes, then looking through the man's pockets, Tatsuha frowned annoyed, he had forgotten all about the stupid brat.

"Why don't you get going? I'll take Sakuma-san home. You got an early day tomorrow… I mean this morning. Oh- my- god, look at the time!" Exclaimed Tatsuha feigning nothing but good intentions, but Suguru knew better and gave the monk an accusing glare in answer to his comment, and went though Ryuichi's jacket next.

"I want Kumagoro-chan…I know, let's go to Shu's place!" Ryuichi yelled suddenly, pulling Tatsuha in the direction he thought Shuichi lived.

"It's late Sakuma-san, he's probably sleeping."

"Ooh, do you think he's doing yummy things to my Kuma-chan?" The glint in Ryuichi's eyes gave Tatsuha the chills.

"I don't know." Tatsuha swallowed, imagining a few yummy things he himself wanted to do to a certain pop idol.

"His cell is not here, he must have left it at the studio." Suguru interrupted, "Do you know K-san's number Sakuma-san?" Ryuichi thought for a moment, and then shook his head.

"No." he pouted, "Let's go to your place, uh..."

"Tatsuha." The monk reminded Ryuichi his name for the hundredth time that night, after the singer got so stoned, he couldn't even remember his own name. "We can't, Tohma and Mika will kill me." He knew he could actually take him to their place, and they would most likely contact K, but the monk had other plans in mind, and didn't feel like explaining anything to his overbearing sister. "Why don't we go to a hotel?" Suguru's face betrayed his hurt, then his anger and disgust. He knew exactly what the young monk was implying.

"That's a great idea!" Ryuichi hiccupped, putting his arms around Tatsuha's neck, and kissing his cheek like a little boy. The teen almost passed out from the sensation the idol's lips brought to his body.

"If you take him to Tohma-kun's place…" Tatsuha shot Suguru a glare before the boy could finish the sentence.

"Shut up!" he was beginning to get annoyed by the over jealous kid. "Why don't you go home and let me handle things from here on?" Tatsuha snapped, and Suguru deepened his glare, then shrugged and walked a few paces away to hide his frustration and humiliation.

Tatsuha waited until the nagging teen got into a cab and went away, before hailing one of his own.

"To the nearest hotel… decent hotel." The monk snapped, handing the driver a couple of high bills. The man looked at them and smirked.

"You got it pal," The driver chirped and off they went. Ryuichi fell asleep as soon as he set his head on Tatsuha's lap.

The teen looked at him lovingly; he'd never seen such a beautiful and peaceful face. The feelings that overcame him were almost alien to him. He'd never known love, devotion, trust, or friendship. The only feelings he's ever felt from his family, and the casual lovers he'd had back in Kyoto, could not even compare to this feeling he had no name for. Love and desire intertwined together, running through his veins and intoxicating the whole of him.

Tatsuha let his fingers thread along the soft brown hair. "Is he your man?" The driver asked, watching the heartwarming scene from his rearview mirror.

"Just drive!" Tatsuha replied coldly, hating the curious and mocking question.

Once at the hotel, he and a groggy Sakuma Ryuichi went up to the "only room left" according to Tatsuha… a suite.

"Kyaaa… what a big bed!" Ryuichi chanted throwing himself on it arms wide open, "Mine is bigger though, I need lots of space." He added happily

"Yeah well, tonight you don't, I'm not sleeping on the floor or the couch, so we're sharing the bed." Tatsuha said, cool on the outside, but melting on the inside. Not even in his wildest dreams he could have conjured such a scenario. He turned to see what his idol was doing, since he had fallen silent. And his eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he laid eyes on the form of a stark naked Sakuma Ryuichi standing on the bed, facing him, not even two feet away.

"I sleep naked!" The happy go lucky man stated, hands on hips, smirking down at the sitting teen. Tatsuha could swear that his nose was bleeding, if it wasn't, his blood must surely all be in his head, because it felt as if it would explode. How in the hell was he to pass up this Kami given golden chance?

"Me too…" The monk husked, getting on the bed and crawling to Ryuichi. The singer watched him curiously without moving. Tatsuha stopped not two inches from the man's sex… _hard sex_. With all his might Tatsuha tried to contain himself, but the more he thought about it, the less he saw the need for it.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" Ryuichi asked, his lightheaded tone gone, and replaced by a horny husk.

"I might be…" Tatsuha dared a sly look at the beautiful face, with the huge green eyes staring down at him. A lopsided smirk played on Ryuichi's full lips. They stayed like that for a moment, each waiting to see what the other would do. Then Ryuichi brought both hands to hold Tatsuha's face firmly, and he lowered his own face to meet the teen's shiny black eyes.

"Didn't your mommy ever tell you never to tease a drunken man?"

"I never listen to my mommy." Tatsuha husked, and with that, he closed the distance and devoured the man almost savagely. They rolled around the bed and onto the floor, tearing at each other's hair and clothes, biting lips, earlobes, and everywhere they could reach. Tatsuha had never been involved in foreplay as savage and intense… and he liked it.

What was proving very hard, was his ability to hold his passion at bay. He was almost to the point of bursting, but he didn't want it to end. He wanted to roll on the floor kissing every part of Ryuichi's lithe body forever.

"I've never been bottom." Ryuichi breathed roughly against Tatsuha's lips, and that almost sent the teen over the edge, forget about lasting any length of time once they moved on to the hard core phase of their union

"God you're beautiful!" Tatsuha breathed back, nipping Ryuichi's lower lip, and pushing him, changing their position with him being on top. "I've never been bottom either, and you're drunk and I'm not, so I'd say I have the advantage here." Tatsuha sucked the man's earlobe and with a shaky hand, grabbed the man's rigid sex and stroked roughly. Ryuichi let a loud moan escape his lips in that heavenly voice of his, and then pushed Tatsuha, once again regaining the top spot.

"Vicious little boy!" The singer husked, ripping Tatsuha's pants and flashing a mischievous smirk, before turning around and plunging the monk's engorged shaft into his mouth. Tatsuha couldn't even think straight as indescribable pleasure took over his body. He let out a chocked moan, and devoured the glorious member above him dripping pre-cum on his face. It didn't take long for Tatsuha to lose it. His orgasm hit him with an intensity he didn't know could possibly be achieved. His body trembled and tingled from head to toe. Tatsuha set his black eyes on the scene below, and the mere erotic sight of Ryuichi lapping at his still hard shaft as if it were a lollipop, sent him over the edge again, his hot seed shooting all over the singer's face, making the man laugh like a little boy.

Ryuichi turned to meet his face; showing Tatsuha his own glistering semen dripping from his face. For as long as he lived, Tatsuha would never forget that moment, that face, that expression, that intoxicatingly arousing smell.

"Oops… I don't think you're in shape to do any fucking." Ryuichi whispered against Tatsuha's quivering lips, allowing the teen to lick his own seed.

"Fuck away…" Tatsuha breathed, lapping at the creamy seed still. And no sooner said, than his legs were spread wide open and a searing pain took over his senses.

XXX

Yuki dialed again, "Shit!" he cursed aloud. That _had _been Shuichi, he wasn't sure at first, but when the singer started cursing and yelling, the mangaka recognized the sweet voice he had fallen for. The phone rang, and rang for what it seemed an eternity.

"What the fuck am I doing? And what the fuck were you doing answering Tohma's phone!" Yuki snapped at the phone as if it would tell him what he needed to know "Answer dammit!" He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and after what it seemed like forever, Yuki threw the apparatus, breaking it into a thousand pieces as soon as it hit the wall.

"Fuck!" He stood cursing, and began pacing the room, running his hand again through his blond hair. "What the hell do I care?" The mangaka snapped stopping, and lighting a cigarette, then throwing himself back on the couch. "I have no time for this shit! I have to deal with Mika." He took his cell phone out of his pocket, and dialed his sister's number. After there was no reply, Yuki hanged up and dialed another number, "I got no time for this!" He snapped as he waited… again.

"Eiri?" Mikka's voice answered almost immediately.

"Has Mika called you?" He snapped.

"She's here with me." Yuki almost sighed in relief. He didn't care about her one way or the other, but he would not have anything happening to her in his conscience. After his distraught sister's call, he had no choice but to get involved.

_**+ Half an hour earlier+**_

"_Eiri here."_

"_Eiri," Mika's voice came from the other end._

_Yuki rolled his eyes, "What is it? Haven't you caused me enough grief?" He admonished sternly._

"_It's Tohma." Mika cried._

"_Something happened to him?" Yuki managed to leave his alarm, and worry aside and sound as impartial as always._

"_No, he… just went into that boy's apartment with him." And she broke down; leaving Yuki to wonder what the hell she was talking about._

"_Calm down!" Yuki snapped, "What are you talking about? What boy?"_

"_That Bad Luck boy!" Mika sobbed barely intelligible words, Yuki wondered how the hell she found out about him, and at the same time was relieved that it wasn't anything "serious" _

"_Is that's what you called me for? I'm sure your husband just paid him a business visit. Go home and take a pill or something." Yuki yawned, eyeing the time._

"_At one o'clock in the morning?" The woman tried to regain her composure, but was failing miserably._

"_I don't know how your husband operates, but I wouldn't read too deep into it if I were you." Yuki yawned again, feeling an unbearable urge to hang up._

"… _they were… they were holding hands!" Mika said lowly, as if deciding to tell the truth just now. Yuki's eyebrow perked, then he smirked at the irony of it._

"_Were you following him?" Yuki asked almost laughing._

"_Yes." _

"_I'm sure he's got his reasons; just go home and ask him when he gets back. Why are you calling me anyway?" Yuki felt like an idiot giving his sister advice, trying to console her from the pain a man- he himself had loved over and over- caused her._

"_Are those the same reasons he had to visit you?" Yuki's eyes opened wide… what the hell? She couldn't possibly know about them… could she?_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked after a long pause._

"_I know all about you two." Yuki froze, "And I also know that Tohma has a line just for you… so call him Eiri, call him now. You owe me!" She almost screamed the words. For the first time Yuki was rendered speechless. How, when, since how long had she known? "Are you going to deny it?" Mika asked coldly._

"_I'm not going to ask how you know, nor am I going to apologize. I have nothing to do with the problems between you two." Yuki spat as coldly._

"_How typical. I wasn't expecting anything from you, but you will tell me what I need to know. Are they lovers?"_

_How would I know? And what would you do if they were?" Yuki wiped his forehead, realizing in annoyance that he was sweating._

"_Call him Eiri. Tell him to come home." _

"_Fine, I'll call, but I'll have you know that he doesn't always answer."_

"_Just do it, and don't tell him that I know."_

"_What are you planning?"_

"_That's none of your business." And the line went dead._

_**XXX**_

Yuki stared at the phone for a long time before dialing the number he had called so often not too long ago. Then Shuichi had answered and said those bitter words, and even though he didn't want to admit it … it hurt

"Where the hell are you Tohma… where the hell are you?

XXX

Shuichi stood outside Hiro's door. He toyed with the idea of not telling Seguchi-san about Yuki's call; god knew he didn't have a valid excuse for answering the man's phone. He also knew however, that his boss would find out sooner or later, and the later he did, the worst off he would be. Arming himself with valor, Shu took a deep breath and knock on the door.

XXX

Tohma's soft moans filled the room. Hiro held on to the slender hips as the blonde man rode him up and down with maddeningly slowness. Hiro had given up all hopes of doing the right thing and cut the man loose. All he wanted was to feel like this forever, to look at Tohma's beautiful face, and to hear the sound of his soft voice, and most of all, he wanted to hear those three stupid words he didn't know he craved for so much.

"Hiro...," Tohma rasped speeding up his pace. Hiro could tell his lover was close to climax; he wanted to see, again and again, that intoxicating expression. "Promise me that you won't leave me no matter what." Tohma whispered, moaning in between words.

"Why'd you say that? I couldn't even if I wanted to." Hiro was close to release himself but wanted to prolong the night for as long as possible. He closed his eyes to shut out the boyish face that could take him to heaven with one look alone. "I don't know what spell you cast on me Tohma Seguchi, but you're stuck with me." Hiro couldn't help opening his eyes, to see the youthful face brimmed with happiness.

"I'm glad." Tohma smiled and threw his head back releasing a deep moan announcing his orgasm.

"Damn you're beautiful!" Hiro grabbed the back of Tohma's head and brought it down to meet his lips for a quick aggressive kiss, and with a few thrusts into the tight embrace of his love's insides, he climaxed as well, making his moan, a little louder than he should have.

"Hey!" Tohma laughed, "Do you want the whole building to know what we're doing?" Hiro laughed as well, kissing Tohma's lips once more.

"We should get some sleep, at this rate; I'll be falling on my face tomorrow at the studio… damn I'll be like… Shuichi!" Tohma threw his head back in laughter.

"Or worse… like Ryuichi."

"Noooooooooooo!" Hiro screamed shielding his face, feigning fear. A knock on the door interrupted their moment.

"Great, I woke up Shuichi for real! He'll be a real bitch in the morning." Hiro mumbled getting up and putting on his pants, Tohma got under the covers. "I'm going to kill him." He waited for Tohma to be situated and opened the door. Shuichi stood there, looking like a lost little puppy. Hiro rolled his eyes.

"If you say something dumb I'm going to kick your ass," Hiro warned, meaning every word. If Shuichi interrupted his love making session with Tohma just to be obnoxious, he was going to make sure that his friend went to work limping.

"I have to tell Seguchi-san something."

"And what would that be?" Hiro raise a brow.

"I mean, you know, I kind of have a message for him." Shu fidgeted.

"A message, from whom?" Shuichi looked to one side as if afraid to say it. Hiro's curiosity perked up even more.

"What is the message?" Tohma opened the door wider, wearing nothing but pants. Shuichi turned away with a small blush gracing his face.

"I'm sorry Seguchi-san," Shuichi bowed low, " I didn't mean to meddle in your business, It's just that… it was making so much noise, and I thought it could be an emergency…I'm really, really sorry."

"Shuichi-kun," Tohma snapped sternly, "Calm down," then smiled warmly once he got the singer's attention, "What is it so important that it couldn't wait until the morning?"

"Well… Yuki Eiri-san just called. He said to go home. Is about his sister, he said d you'd know what he meant."

"Eiri?" Tohma wondered aloud. He walked past them to retrieve his phone, dialed, and waited. "What is it Eiri?" The producer listened for a moment, then his face obscured in such a way, that it made the two friends exchange worried looks. "I see, thanks for letting me know." Tohma continued lowly, "What do you think I should do?" Another agonizing moment of silence, "I am asking you because she is your sister, I don't want bad blood between us… You know I love you." Shuichi watched his best friend's expression closely, noting unmasked jealousy in the usually cool-as ice-face.

"How are you doing? I'm sorry you had to get involved in this," another pause, "I'm glad to hear it," Then he looked directly at Shuichi, "Yes he's here, would you like to speak to him?" And yet another heart wrenching pause. "Alright, I'll most certainly see you tomorrow." Tohma hung up up.

The producer walked back to Hiro's room and entered it, coming back out a few minutes later fully dressed. Hiro and Shuichi had not moved an inch from where they had stood all along. Tohma kissed Hiro quickly on the lips and walked toward the front door.

"Tohma!" The long haired man called, "Is everything alright?" He asked concerned. The blonde man nodded, smiling warmly.

"Yes, I just need to close one chapter of my life, in order to begin another one." And with those soft spoken words he went out the door.

XXX

The two best friends stood staring after him for a long while. Shuichi was the first to break away from the spell; he turned to his best friend with a fiery look in his eyes.

"Alright Hiro, are you're going to tell me what the hell is going on or what?" Shu asked accusingly.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Hiro shrugged going back into his room. Shuichi followed him inside.

"I don't mean just now, I mean about the whole damn thing! Since when are you and Seguchi lovers? I thought you were supposed to hate him." Hiro turned to Shuichi angrily.

"Since when is my life any business of yours?" He snapped

"Since always you asshole! We're best friends. That's what friends do-- care about one another." Shu snapped back.

"Yeah… spear me! I can say the same about you. I know you've been hiding shit, like Sakuma Ryuichi. I know you have something going with him… it's so obvious! But unlike you, I don't pry my nose into other people's problems."

"No it's not! I have nothing to do with him, or Tatsuha, I love…" Shu turned the other way before he said too much.

"See what I mean? You ask me to be honest, when you are the biggest liar of the two of us." Hiro spat and walked back to the door and waited for Shuichi to leave.

"I love Yuki Eiri, but he dumped me, alright! There I said it, are you happy now?" Shuichi's eyes brimmed with tears. Hiro softened his expression, but didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry man. I didn't know…," Hiro murmured.

"Yeah, like Seguchi didn't tell you." Shu spat.

"No he didn't, I really am sorry."

"I'm ok." The young singer answered wiping his tears.

"I guess we haven't been the best of friends lately huh?" Hiro came to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Guess not." Shu smiled bitterly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, not really, I vowed to myself to forget about that asshole. What I want to know is, how come you're involved with Seguchi even though he's married?"

Hiro sighed heavily, "I don't know, I just fell for him."

"That's not a good enough reason to break up a relationship." Shuichi begrudged.

"I know, but its not as black and white as you think, besides, you ought to thank me." Hiro arched a brow as he spoke.

"Why is that?"

"Because since Tohma is seeing me, your Yuki Eiri is now available."

"Tell me it's not true! Tell me he and Seguchi are not lovers like Suguru said!" Shuichi grabbed Hiro's shoulder and shock him as if he were at fault. Hiro grabbed his friend's wrists, and made him look into his eyes.

"Yes it is true, but that's all in the past, and neither you nor I can change it." Shuichi's world turned round and round, he heard the words, but they wouldn't register in his brain.

He walked away slowly, and made his way into his own room. Hiro followed him closely and stood by the doorway watching his shaken friend closely. "You didn't think the man was a virgin did you?" Hiro asked carefully. Shuichi lifted his head and set his lavender eyes on his friend.

"Doesn't it bother you…? I mean, he played with me… they're playing with us, the both of them!" Shuichi let out defeated, his new hate for the blonde god rising anew.

"Love is trust; there can't be one without the other. If you cannot understand that, then you don't love, passion, attraction and desire is not the same." Hiro continued lowly.

Shuichi shot a short ironic laugh at this definition. He wanted to believe this to be true, but he could not, especially after the way Yuki had misjudged him and disposed of him without even asking for an explanation, upon seeing his own brother kissing him.

"I wish I could think like you man, that just show me who the better man is." Shuichi took the pink bunny on his bed and held it tight, the smell of Ryuichi, oddly comforting him. "I don't care anyway… its over," he muttered bitterly; "I don't want to see that man ever again."

Hiro watched his friend's pained expression for a full minute, before sighing and heading out the door.

Tohma couldn't drive fast enough to Eiri's place without killing himself. Once there he slammed the door of his car and threw the key forcefully to the valet not caring that he hit him in the face with them. He pressed the elevator button with alarming fury. Seguchi Tohma had never been so angry in his entire life, or more accurately, he had never shown it to this extent before. The elevator doors finally opened, he went in and pressed for the top floor. He began pacing back and forth as soon as the doors closed; he needed to gain control of himself, to calm down before he did something he would regret later. Breathing in and out a few times, his thoughts began to collect, as the elevator made it to the top floor; he was confronted by Mika as soon as the doors opened.

"You came." Mika whispered.

"Didn't you call?" He replied tightly, restraining himself from slapping her.

"Is it so wrong of me to worry about my own husband?" She said with a hint of sarcasm.

"What do you want Mika?" Tohma asked coldly.

"Where were you?"

"We both know that… apparently."

"Why… since when?" Mika's tone went from a detached whisper, to an anguished one.

"Mika," Tohma brought his hand to the bridge of his nose, and held it between his fingertips there. "I am not here to give you any explanation of my actions," He raised his eyes to hers. "Where is Mikka?" He asked, remembering where they were.

"Out."

Let's go inside… we need to talk." He motioned towards the apartment.

"Yes we do." Mika muttered going on ahead.

"Sit down." Tohma requested softly once they were inside. Mika complied silently, she had been so angry; she had so many questions that demanded answers, so many things to say to the man who now stood in front of her, melting her heart as he always did when he was near.

"I don't want us to fight anymore Tohma," Mika began softly.

"I don't see why we should," The blonde man replied nonchalantly. "Eiri told me a few things…" Mika winced inwardly, cursing her own stupidity for trusting the bastard would keep his mouth shut.

"That saves us some time don't you think?" He waited for her to say something, but since she didn't, he continued. "I'm not going to apologize, because I am not sorry. I'm not going to ask for forgiveness, because I don't need it," Another wince from Mika made Tohma pause, "Eiri is one of the people I love the most in this world… and now Hiro. I'm not going to explain why, because is none of your business." Mika opened her mouth to say something, but Tohma raised a hand to stop her. "Mika I love you as well, but not the way you want me to. Our marriage was never supposed to happen. It has never been a marriage, and its time we both admit it and move on."

Silence filled the room. Mika's chest constricted in her chest, her world shattered into a thousand pieces, and her vision clouded with tears.

"Are you saying that you regret being with me?' Her voice barely was above a whisper.

"No, I'm not saying that, I do not regret knowing you, I do not regret the time we lived together, what we've learned from each other. But I do regret the weakness, and selfishness, that kept me from doing this sooner."

"And all for some teenager who you only just met?" Mika spat.

"He isn't the reason; he only opened my eyes and gave my will the push it needed to finally do the right thing by you."

"The right thing… What makes you think this is the right thing, and what makes you think that I will make things easy for you?" The pain was slowly receding, and was being replaced by anger. Mika would not let Tohma slip though her fingers. He belonged to her, and no matter who he bedded, at the end of the day he always came back.

"You don't understand Mika; it is over, whether you want to accept it or not. We can do this the easy way, or we can go through hell together… the choice is yours." As the words sank in, Mika realized that for the first time, Tohma meant every single word. They had gone through this before—of course not as severe—and always she ended up changing his mind. Tears fell freely from her eyes and onto her lap, she shut her eyes tightly to try to stop them, but there was no use. Before she could realize it or stop it, her sobs filled the room. Tohma came to her and knelt by her side, resting a hand on her knee and the other one took her chin.

"Let me go Mika," Tohma whispered imploringly, "I don't want it to be bad between us." She shifted her eyes to his, and what she saw in them told her that this battle was lost. Putting her arms around his neck one last time, she buried her face in his shoulder and cried her heart out.

XXX

**A/N:** Well there you have it… one Mika out of the picture… or is she? . .

What will the future bring for Tohma? I know many of you are booing, because he got out so easy… or did he? . . But if you think about it, this story is not about him, and I was beginning to focus too much on what was supposed to be a secondary pairing. To whoever likes long fics, I assure you there's still plenty to go around, I'll run out of Gravitation Song titles before I run out of twists and turns. Be patient with me peoples, I'll get to Yuki and Shu soon enough.

Next Stop: **Rockin' Station**: It marks the beginning of the fourth part of this tale. **"Shuichi"** yes you guessed it, Tohma and Hiro will be thrown to the back burner to give way to the other couples on the stove.

Drama, drama  ok, not so much drama on the next one. The bands finally get together to do the 'actual recording' and a few surprise meetings will occur, other than that… drama, drama. Don't miss it!


	19. Rockin' Station

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gravitation yada, yada…

For mature readers only.

First I would like to apologize for taking so long to update. I don't want to give you any excuses, so I'll get to the point. This chapter is not betaed so forgive any errors. I went over the chapter twice to correct anything I might have missed.

** Part IV: Shuichi**

**Chapter Eighteen: Rockin' Station**

Hiro walked into the studio, unconsciously looking for Tohma. Since his lover left the night before, he hadn't called to tell him what had gone on and the more Hiro thought about it, the more he wanted to pull his hair. The guitar player wouldn't normally care had this been any of his former flames, but for some reason the blonde producer had etched himself into his skin and mind like a tattoo.

He looked around, and other than the crew, there was no sing of anyone from either band.

"Morning Hiroshi-san! You're the first one in." One of the crew members waived from his place by the mixers.

"Hey!" Hiro waved back and went to his guitar. A woman immediately came to offer him a cup of steaming coffee. Hiro smiled at her as took it gratefully. He hadn't been able to sleep after Tohma left, so he found himself needing the java very badly. "Is Seguchi-san in yet? He asked sipping some of the hot liquid.

"I haven't seen him." The woman replied sitting next to him, "Did Shuichi-kun come with you?"

"Does he ever? I thought it was your job to make sure he came on time. Aren't you his assistant?" Hiro joked, knowing full well that it was virtually impossible to keep tabs on his dear friend. Although this time, Hiro knew the hyper active singer had a good reason to sleep in late.

"I been calling all morning, but I think he's not listening to his messages." The woman whined frustrated. Hiro realized why Sakano-san had pick her to be Shu's do girl… she sounded just like him.

Hiro got up and handed her the cup. "I'm going upstairs; I guess they'll call me when the others get here." Hiro said and went out of the studio almost bumping into a running Suguru.

"Good morning Hiro-kun? Is Sakuma-san here yet?" The boy seemed more stressed than usual. Hiro ordinarily would have teased him, but he wasn't in the mood at the moment, he just wanted to get upstairs and find Tohma.

"Nah, I'm the first." He shook his head.

"Fuck!" The boy cursed knitting his brow; Hiro raised his, but didn't ask.

"I'm going upstairs; call me when everyone gets here ok?"

"Yeah, sure…" Suguru agreed, and went inside the studio lost in thought. Hiro watched him for a few moments, contemplating whether he should go back and ask if everything was fine, but decided that he really wasn't in the mood, and really didn't care at this moment. He went to the top floor and into Tohma's office without knocking, and was surprised to see him sitting at his desk staring out the window with a glassy look in his eyes.

"Hey" Hiro sad softly as he made his way towards him. Tohma shifted his eyes and his whole face brightened by a breathtakingly beautiful smile.

"Hey," The older man replied softly.

"Been here long?" Hiro kissed the bridge of Tohma's nose lightly, but the producer held on to the back of his head and gave him a yawning fervent kiss that almost took Hiro's breath away.

"A couple of hours," Tohma let him go, and replied the question Hiro had already forgotten.

"How did it go?" Hiro wasn't sure what to ask. He wanted to know of course, but he would not push Tohma into telling him anything he felt uncomfortable talking about.

"I told her it was over." Tohma let out softly, "I thought I'd feel dreadful, distraught, guilty, anything! But I'm not. I'm such a horrible person." He breathed softly to himself.

"Is this what you've been doing here for the last couple of hours, thinking about how horrible you are?" Hiro took the man's hand and guided him to the sofa. "You are not horrible. People change, their priorities and feelings change, but that doesn't make them bad. If you were to leave me to go with someone else, that wouldn't make you horrible, nor would it make me a victim. The point of life is to look for happiness, find it, and enjoy it for the rest of your days. You don't stop looking for your paradise until you find it." Hiro spoke the words so close to Tohma's mouth that it seemed they were breathed into him.

"To many that would sound selfish." Tohma breathed back.

"Then be selfish." Hiro took the older into a crushing embrace that ended with another searing kiss. Tohma could not remember a time when he felt more alive, needed… loved. Slowly he brought his arms around the young man who had captured his heart completely and they stayed just like that for a long time.

"I love you." Tohma whispered after a while.

"I love you too." Hiro breathed back, holding the man so tight, he might crush his bones.

XXX

Tatsuha was the first to wake. The sun hit him right on the face. His skin still tingled from the mind blowing dream he'd had the night before. He closed his eyes invoking the still vivid images.

"Damn… why did I have to wake up?" He groaned frustratingly, blowing a stray strand of hair from his face. He fancied that he could still smell the intoxicating scent from his dream. Could still feel the softness of Ryuichi's hair as it threaded through his fingers, his soft lips, hot skin… the whole of him. "Am I a fucking looser or what?" Another deep sigh left the teen… then another, but this one, did not come from him. Tatsuha turned sharply, his heart beating fast as realization hit him…_oh my god, oh my god_... the teen thought as the simple act of turning his head around took forever. Gasping loudly when he saw, laying next to him, the man of his dreams, Sakuma Ryuichi.

A smile spread across Tatsuha's face, and a tug at his heart that grew in intensity with each passing heartbeat.

"Oh my fucking god… it wasn't a dream!" The young monk whispered in quiet awe. Getting on one elbow, Tatsuha watched the sleeping form of his love for a few minutes. Then, bringing his lips an inch from the singer's; he let the warm breath of his love wash over his face. Closing the distance, Tatsuha kissed the pink lips below softly. And hesitantly, brought a hand and let it rest on Ryuichi's smooth stomach. Green eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning love." Tatsuha whispered, another deep sigh escaped Ryuichi, and the feeling that overcame the young monk scared him. It was so intense, that it couldn't be real. For a moment Ryuichi didn't seem to know where he was. So Tatsuha took this as an opportunity to become bolder in his explorations. The monk kissed the rosy lips again, but more aggressively this time, and let his hand travel the short distance from the smooth belly, to the core of his obsession's body. Running it the length of it a few times, and waking it from its limp form.

Ryuichi's eyes opened wide, and he sat up suddenly, "Kuma-chan!" The singer exclaimed and searched around the bed, ignoring Tatsuha -who just sat back and stare-completely.

Then, Ryuichi grabbed his head, as the splitting headache, from his impending hangover hit him full force. "Where is Kuma-chan?" He asked again barely above a whisper, wincing from the pain.

"Morning." Tatsuha chanted again lovingly, obviously not knowing what the singer was talking about.

"My head…" Ryuichi whined, still not acknowledging Tatsuha, who waited anxiously, for those beautiful green eyes to turn his way. They did, but still no recognition in them. "Did we…?" Ryuichi asked, and then realizing that the answer was pretty obvious, he lowered his head and seemed to be lost in thought.

Tatsuha hid his disappointment behind a cool smile. He stretched pretending it was no big deal, but inside he wanted to scream.

"Shu has Kuma-chan!" Ryuichi brightened as he remembered his best friend's whereabouts. "I hope he brings him to the studio today… I really miss him." The older man got up from the bed, and stretched languidly, looking almost feline. Another pull hit Tatsuha, only this time it wasn't desire, but hurt instead.

"At what time did you have to be at the studio?" The teen asked casually, hiding his emotions well under cold black eyes-- the way he always did when he felt rejected.

"Huh?" Ryu looked puzzled for a second, "Oh right! The new song… what time is it?" He asked alarmed.

"About ten." Tatsuha blurted dismissively getting to his feet as well and stretching again. The magical night was definitely over.

"Dammit! I'm already late! How come K-kun didn't wake me up?" Ryuichi exclaimed rummaging around for his clothes.

"Bathroom's that way," Tatsuha pointed anticipating the question, "Do you remember anything?" he asked hopeful.

"I never do!" Ryuichi as he dashed to the bath. Leaving Tatsuha alone in the room, sitting on the bed to wonder on the meaning of that statement. He was not one to sweat the small stuff, and although this was not the outcome he had dreamed of, he had been through enough of Eiri's disregard, and the rest of his family's mental abuse to let this minor setback get him down. Tatsuha bowed to himself to win the absent minded singer's heart no matter what the cost, one way or another. Last night had proved that it could be done, hell! He got Ryuichi into bed in the first try… the rest should be a piece of cake.

Ryuichi came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed with his hair dripping wet. He headed toward the door without a word to Tatsuha.

"Hey, wait up! I'll take you to the studio." The teen got up and searched for his clothes.

"It's ok, I'll hail a cab." Ryuichi smiled warmly.

"Do you even know where the NG building is? Besides, you don't have a wallet."

"How do you know that?" Ryu asked confused, searching his pockets.

"That's why we wound up here," Tatsuha stated, heading to the bathroom. Once in there, the monk closed the door and leaned against it for a few moments; fighting with his emotions not to take over. _"Calm down man… you'll get him."_ He told himself. Sighing deeply, the monk went into the shower and let the cold water hit him full force.

He came out once dried and dressed, to find Ryuichi looking out the window deep in thought. His green eyes looked almost glassy in contrast with the shining sun.

"Ready?" Tatsuha asked softly, not to startle him.

"Eh? yeah. I was trying to remember what happened last night." Ryuichi said lowly. A little glimmer of hope lighted Tatsuha's heart.

"Did you?" The monk asked hopeful.

"Not really, but whatever it was, I want you to know that I'm sorry for causing you trouble."

"For causing me trouble?" Tatsuha repeated amusedly, but deeply hurt "We had sex… believe me, it was no trouble at all. In fact, you can cause me trouble anytime you want." He joked. Ryuichi smiled again and nodded, heading toward the door.

"I don't want you to hate me, but I like someone else. I like him a lot, and I don't want you to think that I'm always like this." Ryuichi added over his shoulder, as Tatsuha followed in silence. The monk nodded, he could not let the older man see how much those words affected him. He flashed his trademark smirk, and came closer to Ryuichi.

"Hey, what's that? No need for apologies. I was drunk too; just not enough not to remember." Tatsuha put a hand on Ryu's back and led him to the elevators. "I'll have the front desk get us a taxi."

"Oh right, I owe you don't I? I'll tell K-kun to get in touch with you."

"C'mon now… you already paid." Tatsuha flashed him another smirk.

"I'm not sore, which means I had all the fun." Ryuichi smirked as well, "Was I good?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh you were, I'm almost jealous of the 'someone' you like"

"Ah, don't be mean to my Shu!" Ryuichi smirked wider and grabbed his head again, wincing, "I better take something for this headache."

"Yeah, you won't make it through the day if you don't." Tatsuha laughed, cursing Shuichi inwardly.

"I don't care about the 'whole' day, I just want something to get me through K-kun's nagging," Ryu added rolling his eyes.

"K… What about Tohma?" Tatsuha could almost hear his brother-in -law preaching.

"Oh, Tohma-kun is ok, he won't bother me… he got some last night, so he should be in a pretty good mood today."

"Got some last night?" Tatsuha raised a brow.

"Yeah, he'll be alright, thanks to… what's his name again? Oh Hiro-kun." Ryuichi said as he pressed the button to call the elevator.

"Hiro! Isn't he Bad Luck's guitarist?"

"Yup, Tohma and he are… you know." Ryu raised his eyebrows up and down rapidly.

"What?" Tatsuha's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

"Yeah, didn't you know? Fuck, you didn't! Don't tell anyone I told you please." Ryuichi begged worriedly. It never failed to happen. He could never keep a secret for long.

"What the hell! How do you know?" Tatsuha asked incredulously. Although it actually made a lot of sense. He had noticed the two act a little too familiar with each other the night before at the studio.

"Su-chan told us, but we saw them kiss and stuff," To this Tatsuha had to hold on to the wall. It all sounded so unbelievable. Tohma was not one to display affection in public in any form. Tatsuha had certainly never seen it. Even when the monk was little and the producer had played with him. His brother-in-law was very careful not to show too much attachment.

"You're not gonna tell are you?" Ryu asked gravely.

"Who am I going to tell… my sister? Are you crazy?" The monk shook his head. Who would have ever imagined… his brother with Shuichi, because now, Tatsuha was sure that Eiri and Bad Luck's singer had something going. And now Tohma and Hiro… damn! Was there anyone straight at NG?

"Why would you tell your sister?" Ryu asked puzzled.

"Mika is my sister… you know, Seguchi Mika."

"Oh, I knew I've seen you before!" Ryu smiled, "You do look like her, but you look just like Yuki-sama."

"Yuki-sama?" Tatsuha arched a brow. Of all people to call his brother such undeserving title; Sakuma Ryuichi was the most unlikely of them all. "Yes, Eiri is my brother as well." Ryuichi's eyes brightened.

"I love your brother, he's awesome! I'm addicted to Kenshin." Ryuichi said with utmost seriousness. Tatsuha felt like slapping the tall Mr. no personality Uesugi. What did his bastard brother had that caused people to drool like idiots when they spoke of him? "Tohma is so lucky," The singer continued, the elevator finally arrived and they stepped in.

"Why is Tohma lucky? 'Cause he hooked up with Hiro the guitar player?" Tatsuha asked sarcastically.

"Who cares about Hiro! Tohma-kun hooked up with Yuki-sama before that." Ryu's eyes shined at the thought, and Tatsuha's eyes did pop out of their sockets this time.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tatsuha grabbed Ryu by the arms a little too roughly. He was afraid of the answer, but at the same time, wanted to hear it more than anything.

"I'll tell you since I already screwed up and opened my big mouth, but you have to swear secrecy." Ryuichi pointed one stern finger at the teen's chest.

"Of course! Who do you take me for?" The monk stated solemnly, his thoughts spinning 'round and 'round.

"Tohma and Yuki-sama were lovers for a while, but then they broke up. And now Tohma-kun is with Hiro-kun." Tatsuha heard the words, but somehow they didn't add up in his brain… _was it possible? Of course it was!_ Eiri himself had told him that he fucked men. And who better than their brother-in-law? Eiri was socially impaired, so he wouldn't actually go out to meet people, let alone get acquainted enough to establish any sort of sexual relationship. The teen wondered where Shuichi fit in the whole scenario, and how his brother had come to like him. If in fact he was in the scenario at all. Tatsuha was beginning to doubt Shuichi and Eiri were involved. It was just too 'convenient' too out of a cheap manga.

"Do you know if my brother is seeing anyone now a days?" Tatsuha asked as if he didn't really care.

"No… Mikka Costa-chan I guess." Ryu replied loosing interest in the subject. "Do you think Shu likes me?"

"I don't know… didn't you love my brother?" Tatsuha decided to leave it alone for now. if he wanted to get answers, he would have to go directly to the source.

"Yeah… but not that way. I want Shuichi." The singer declared, "But I don't think he wants me."

"How do you know?" Why wouldn't he want you?" Tatsuha asked, each word cutting his throat.

"I don't know, I get that vibe."

"You'll get him. I'm sure of it." The young monk encouraged his love putting a hand on his shoulder and smiling confidently. He had gained a lot more than he had bargained for. He definitely had to go to NG and straighten a few things out.

They finally got into a cab and headed to the building in question. They rode in silence. He, digesting all that he'd just found out, and Ryuichi humming _Shining Collection_ in his godly voice.

XXX

Yuki sat at the head of his conference table listening to Onizuka read the latest numbers. Sales had gone down 10 due to the fillers they've been publishing. Fan mail was piled in the mail room demanding an explanation to the rushed work. It was as if he had stepped out of a long illness to come back and find everything crumbling right before his eyes. The company was barely held together, making him realize for the first time, how incompetent everyone around him was. And how much rode on his back. Luckily he had woken up from his nightmare before it was too late.

Yuki let his hazel eyes fall on the figure of his incompetent manager, and watched the man's lost expression without uttering a word. The man was waiting for him to say something, - they all were. - Yuki got to his feet, startling them all. He walked to the chart and stared blankly at the numbers. He wished he could care, he wished he could get the will to care, but he could not. Suddenly he realized that what had constituted his whole life before, didn't mean much now.

"_Angel Sanctuary_ should shut the public's mouths; we can say I was working on that in full, to justify the fillers. I'm planning to end Kenshin soon; In fact I'll get to that immediately. In the meantime, I want Makoto to take over Weiss, that'll give me more time to worry about the other projects." The mangaka looked around the room for any sign of disagreement. He saw none; he walked to the door, opened it, and turned to the men and women assembled in the room. "I'll be in my office, whoever bothers me, will find himself out of a job." And with that said, he walked to his office and locked himself in it, sitting on the floor against the door, smoking one cigarette after the other, for what turned out to be a whole hour. Thinking on any random thing that came to mind other than the problems he had to face. Mika, Mikka, Tohma, the company… and lastly Shuichi; were eating his brain slowly, demanding attention, but he refused to give it to them. He used to think- as a child- that if he avoided something long enough, it would just go away. He knew now that was not so, but he just didn't want to deal with it; was afraid to deal with it.

"Damn, I haven't been in this place in a while," Yuki muttered lowly. Getting up and lighting yet another cigarette. He made it to his desk, but not before stopping in mid stride to stare at a copy of _Bad Luck's full Access_ DVD lying on the coffee table- exacly where he left it the last time he'd been in. He grabbed it, and stared at the young face he was trying with all his might to forget.

"You fucking pop up everywhere I go!" He spoke to it with a small ironic smile. "If I didn't know better I'd say we're meant to be." He sighed and threw it in the trash can forcefully. Taking a long drag from his cigarette, he threw himself on the couch and stared at the ceiling. At that moment his phone rang, he took it out of his jacket and stared at it deciding whether to answer it or not.

"Eiri here."

"_Eiri! Where were you? I been calling and calling all morning."_ Tohma's worried voice demanded.

"I had a little accident with my phone so I don't have it anymore." Yuki replied boringly.

"_I see, did you speak to Mika?" _

"No, why would I?" Yuki arched a brow. Is not like he was planning to apologize to her. If anything, he thought that she should to him, for ever lying about being pregnant.

"_Is over."_ Tohma muttered lowly. Eiri's shocked expression would have made the producer laugh had he's seen it, _"Don't you have anything to say/"_ Tohma asked after a moment.

Yeah, I do!" Yuki snapped "You wouldn't break up with her for me, but you did it for a long haired punk? Had I known you were into that, I would have let my hair reach the floor!"

Tohma laughed wholeheartedly. _"Do you ever take anything seriously?"_ He had been a bit worried about his ex lover's reaction.

"I take my manga seriously. How did she take it?" Yuki asked.

"_She is devastated, but I'm confident that she'll get over it… It had to be done, you understand."_ Tohma whispered.

"I guess."

"_How are things going with you?"_ Tohma had had little time to worry about Yuki and Shuichi's relationship, with all that's been happening to him.

"Fine, how would things be?"

"_I mean with Shuichi."_

"Oh that, that was a one time fuck, nothing to fuss over." Yuki replied dismissively.

"_You can't lie to me Yuki-sama."_

"Then don't make me do it."

"_I want to see you happy."_

"I am happy, happier than ever," Yuki lied, "Don't worry about me, go run your hands through that silky long hair or something." Yuki grouched puffing his cigarette.

"_You're the worst!"_ Tohma laughed.

"No, you're the worst, trading me for some punk."

"_Hey, what about you?"_ Tohma teased.

"Anyhow, I'll see you later; I'll be by your office. I guess we have to talk or something." Yuki let his eyes stray to the garbage bin.

"_Don't sound so concerned Eiri, you'll get an ulcer."_ The producer let out sarcastically.

'Yeah well, you know me; I'm all about other's feeling before my own." The mangaka replied as sarcastically scratching his ear.

"_I'll be busy all morning. Let's do lunch, come at about one or so."_ Tohma said switching to business mode.

"Oi, I'm not going to get my ass kicked by a jealous long haired punk am I?" The blonde mangaka leaned over and picked up the DVD from the trash. Tohma laughed again.

"_I'll tell him about our date. I'm sure your pretty ass will be safe."_

"Alright, see you then." Yuki hanged up, and stared at the DVD.

"… You'll be the end of me little boy." He sighed and set the disc in the player, sat back, and started the DVD to play the songs he knew by heart.

XXX

"Look who decided to show up!" Noriko snapped as soon as Ryuichi stepped into the studio. The singer gave her a goofy smile and a wink.

"That doesn't work on me mister! Do you know how long we've been waiting? Even K didn't know where you were" Tatsuha walked in at that moment, and everyone in the studio turned their sights to him.

"Don't yell at me Noriko-chan, I have a headache." Ryu pouted playing with his fingers.

"A headache? A hangover you mean!" The woman carried on as if she was yelling at her late for curfew child. "Suru-kun told us all about it!" Tatsuha turned viciously to the teen, who was glaring daggers at him as well.

"Where's Shu?" Ryuichi asked disregarding Noriko's tantrum, and walking further into the studio.

"He's another irresponsible one!" The keyboardist raved to herself since no one was paying her any mind, "I tell you, men get a little famous and lose all sense of duty and respect for others!"

"Noriko-chan, I'm really hurting, why don't you be quiet now." Ryu protested, Noriko glared in his direction, but quieted nonetheless.

Tatsuha made his way to Suguru and stood next to the teen. "You know Su-chan, to be someone who has no business whatsoever with anyone here, you sure keep tabs on everyone. Why don't you get a life already and leave the rest of us alone?" The monk said casually playing a couple of notes in Suguru's keyboard.

"Hmph, like I care. They asked so I told them. I have no reason to cover for you." He stepped forward, forcing Tatsuha to move aside.

"I thought you and I were friends." Tatsuha leaned over and whispered in Suguru's ear. The teen gulped, and then put on an angry face.

"You wish!" The teen snapped grouchily. Tatsuha smirked and blew warm air into Suguru's ear; his smirk grew wider as he watched the shorter boy tremble.

"Look, you got goose bumps all over!" Tatsuha teased innocently.

"Get away form me you freak!" Suguru turned and pushed the taller teen away from him.

"And you stop butting into my business!" Tatsuha countered angrily.

"Yeah… what business you whore!" Suguru returned ever angrier.

"I bet it kills you to know what happened last night, so you can go and tell everyone who'd pay you any mind… how old are you Su-chan? Are you such a looser without life that has to be content with talking about the life of others?" Tatsuha's face took a scary expression to it

"Shut up! What the hell do I care what you do? You think you're so hot and important that anyone would give a shit? My cat's life is more interesting than yours!" Suguru's anger and frustration was reaching its limits. The usually mild and cool headed teen always seemed to lose himself when it came to Uesugi Tatsuha.

"Oh yeah? Did your cat have hot sex with Sakuma Ryuichi?" Tatsuha got so close to Suguru's face as he husked the mocking words. Suguru's eyes betrayed his hurt. He had assumed that they wound up at a hotel somewhere, and that Sakuma-san had passed out. Maybe that Tatsuha had taken a peek at the drunk singer's body or something like that, but he had not imagined-or want to- think that they had actually slept together.

Tatsuha smirked at the stark silent kid. He actually enjoyed teasing him, the monk knew how Suguru felt about him, had known for the longest time. Of course the grumpy kid would never have chance, but Tatsuha wasn't usually this cruel. It was just that the kid's meddling in his family's business was really starting to piss him off.

"It was…" Tatsuha closed his eyes and put on a face of pure bliss, then opened them slowly and looked right into Suguru's orbs. "The best night of my life."

"Fuck you! I don't care what the fuck you do. You and your whole family are whores!" Suguru modulated, he sounded as if he was going to cry. Tatsuha felt bad, but it was too late to take it back.

"Yeah? And what about your Tohma-kun, cheating on my sister with Hiro."

"I have nothing to do with that." Suguru said firmly.

"Are you two going to kiss or what?" Noriko yelled from the other side of the room. Both teenagers turn to the woman and saw that everyone was watching them. Ryuichi was doing rooting signs to Tatsuha, and Suguru rolled his eyes and walked away from the monk fast. At that moment Shuichi walked in looking as if struck by lightning

"Shuuuuuu-kun!" Ryuichi exclaimed and threw himself on the singer. Shuichi opened his arms instinctively to the older man, and allowed himself to be hugged by the hyper singer.

"Oh, your majesty, glad you could join us," Noriko bowed mocking respect.

"Where's Kuma-chan?" Ryuichi asked once again ignoring the raving woman.

"I got him in my bag." Shuichi took his backpack off, and took the stuffed animal out. Ryuichi snatched from his hands and smelt it.

"Ooh… it smells like you." Ryuichi sang happily.

"Is that a good thing?" Shu asked smiling. His bright lavender eyes, shined for the first time in days.

"A _very_ good thing." Ryuichi husked in his 'other' tone.

"Are you two going to kiss too?" Noriko threw her hands up in the air frustrated, and jealous. "Where the hell is Tohma and Hiro?" She snapped rolling her eyes.

XXX

Tohma pressed the speaker button off. Hiro was at the verge of laughing. He hadn't imagined the mangaka had a sense of humor, let alone be so cool about him and Tohma.

"Once you get to know him. You'll love him as much as I do… well, I mean, I hope not 'as much' as I did." Tohma smiled coming to straddle Hiro.

"Hey, if he wants to run his fingers though my silky long hair… who am I to say no?" Tohma kissed him roughly, and Hiro wasted no time getting his hands down the producer's pants. "Ah, someone wants to play," The guitar player husked stroking Tohma's stiff sex hard and fast. Tohma threw his head back, and let out a deep moan.

The doors flew open and a furious Noriko barged in with Ryuichi, Shuichi, Suguru and Tatsuha behind her. They all stopped in their tracks as they took in the scene. Hiro took his hand away faster than fast and covered Tohma with a throw pillow. The producer fixed himself as dignifiedly as he could. And looked the other way embarrassed avoiding eye contact with the others.

"Oh this is just rich! I'm growing roots down there and here you two are just about to fuck!"

"Noriko!" Tohma snapped, immediately shutting her, "Let this be the last time you ever do something like this." He set his eyes on Tatsuha. "What are you doing here?" Tohma asked.

"I came to drop Ryuichi-kun off." Tohma turned to Ryuichi and shook his head, not even wanting to ask any further.

"Well, Ryuichi is here so you can leave now."

"I don't want to." Tatsuha contested defiantly.

"If you are not going to listen to me, then I will have to send you back to Kyoto." Tohma said calmly.

"You're so unfair! What is it to you if I stay?" The teen whined.

"I will not say it again." Tatsuha's eyes turned ice on the producer.

"Fine," The monk snapped angrily and left, but not before stopping next to Shuichi and whispering something.

"You didn't have to be so hard on him." Hiro said as soon as the teen was gone.

"Yes I did." Tohma replied gently, and then turned to the others, "Let's go." He snapped and walked out of the office with everyone in tow.

XXX

"_You and I have to talk."_ Tatsuha whispered as he headed out of Seguchi's office. Shuichi didn't want to be here today. The day was already proving to be a disaster waiting to happen. He followed the others in silence, wondering what Tatsuha could possibly have to talk to him about. His tone didn't sound too candid. Shuichi also wondered why Seguchi-san had been so mad as he left the apartment the night before.

"Ne Shu… are we hanging out tonight? Remember you promised me." Kumagoro was laid on his shoulder, and moved from side to side as if he were the one who had spoken.

That was another thing Shuichi wanted to avoid. For some reason, Sakuma Ryuichi was acting weirder than usual, and not in a pleasant way. In fact it was giving him the creeps.

"Yeah… sure." Shuichi replied unsure.

"You don't look too happy. Are you mad because I slept with your friend?" Kumagoro was gone and in its place, Ryuichi came close to him with a worried expression.

"You slept with Tatsuha?" Shu whispered disbelievingly. Well that answered the "subject" of Tatsuha's talk. Still, Shuichi didn't understand what that had to do with him.

"If it makes you feel any better, I was super drunk and I don't remember a thing about it." Ryu pouted playing the victim.

"He took advantage of you!" Shu exclaimed again.

"That's right, he did!" Ryuichi's eyes glint, seeing his chance.

"I'm so sorry," Shuichi blurted. Feeling sorry for having introduced the precocious teen to his idol.

"You have to make it up!" Ryuichi held Shu tight, "You have to go out to lunch with me, and then we'll go to the arcade and karaoke!"

"Sure." Shuichi nodded obligated, but wishing he could get out of it. He had a feeling those were not Ryuichi's only plans.

"You promise?"

"I promise," Shuichi agreed not wanting to think in what he was getting himself into.

XXX

"Oi Tohma, are you going to ignore me all day?" Noriko sat next to the producer. After the little incident, the rest of the morning had been very productive.

The bands were now taking a short break. The song was almost done, which meant the album would be out on time.

The members of Bad Luck had actually whished for a delay, but no such luck. Coming out with a debut album on the same day as Nittle Grasper, was suicidal. True they were doing great but still, Grasper was Grasper. And this was the first time in five years the powerful band came together to record new songs… intimidating to say the least.

"I'm not ignoring you; I just don't have anything to talk to you about." Tohma replied coldly.

"That's cold Tohma-kun. I already said sorry about a hundred times. Hiro's not even annoyed, why do you have to make such a fuss?" Noriko blew a strand of hair form his face.

"Yeah well, it wasn't his dick you saw." Tohma replied re-arranging his hair. Noriko arched her brows, shocked to hear him say that. Tohma had sounded just now… as he once did so long ago. She smiled warmly. Glad to see her old friend returning to his old self. She didn't understand his relationship with the young guitarist, but she could see how much it was changing Tohma. And for that, she was grateful.

"Oh! that's what you're so worried about?" Noriko laughed, "It's so small I didn't even see it." Tohma turned to her about to say something, as a can of iced coffee was put in front of his face. He looked up to see Hiro smirking down at Noriko.

"That small dick, among other things turned me gay." Hiro winked at her, and she began laughing like a child.

"Oi! What's so funny?" Ryuichi yelled from the other side of the room.

"Oh, nothing!" Noriko yelled back waiving her hand, "Just keep playing with Kuma-chan," Ryu pouted- but didn't push it- and did what he was told;

"Kuma-kuma super punch!" He yelled and threw Kumagoro on Shuichi, who shielded himself from the attacking bunny.

"We should get back to work!" Suguru called from his keyboard. He was still wired and upset about the morning events. He'd get Tatsuha, oh he'd get him alright. He didn't know how yet, but he would not let him make a fool out of him… again.

Usagi came in and told Tohma something, the producer got to his feet and walked to the door.

"Someone is here to see me. Let's break for lunch. We'll meet back here," He looked at his watch, "At three," Then he went out.

"What, you're not going?" Noriko asked Hiro after Tohma left. He hadn't even gotten up from where he had been sitting.

"Nope, family matters," the guitarist said matter of fact, "Although you might want to go check it out Shuichi." Shu looked at him confused, and then realized what he must mean. "Go man, go!" Hiro rooted, and Shu got to his feet and made his way to the door, but a hand grabbed his sleeve before he could even take a step.

"You promised," Ryuichi's eyes were somewhat scary. Shuichi smiled at him, thankful for the reminder of the promise he made to himself the night before. He begrudged himself at how easily he gave into his petty feelings.

"I know Ryu-kun, I'm sorry. Let's go." Ryuichi jumped to his feet and gave Shuichi a quick hug, then pushed him to the exit.

"Make sure you come back on time!" Noriko yelled after them.

"So, where are we going to munch?" Hiro asked Noriko.

"Me? I'm going to eat with my honey… have fun you two!" She waived and left as well.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me." Hiro turned to Suguru, he had noticed the teen to be moodier than usual, but bad company was better than no company.

"I'm not hungry. I'll stay here and grab something from the cafeteria." Suguru grouched.

"Hell no, you're not! I'm not risking you getting food poisoning right before our album release! C'mon man, let's go, my treat." Suguru pursed his lip, but moved to follow. "What you feel like?" Hiro continued.

"Killing Tatsuha!" Suguru let out with a malevolent glint to his eyes.

"Sorry, I don't know any place that has that in the menu, how about Chinese?"

"Chinese is fine," Suguru responded embarrassed to have let his guard down.

"Then Chinese it is!" Hiro smiled, "So, this Tatsuha, is that the kid who's been causing trouble everywhere he goes?"

"The one and only," Suguru agreed.

"And you like him?"

"Since we were little" The teen finally admit it to another soul.

"Well, that's not very long." Suguru snapped his green eyes to the long haired guitarist, not finding his joke funny in the least. Hiro broke into a mischievous smile, which the teen couldn't resist.

"Yeah, well, he's a whore though." Suguru smiled back.

"So I gather."

"But he's so cool though," Suguru's eyes shined with admiration as he described the love of his life. "He's so tall and quick witted, and he can do all kinds of tricks with his bike…"

"Is this going to be a lovey dovey mush talk?" Hiro asked, feigning a yawn

"Hey! You invited me, so now you take it!"

"Alright, alright, so he's so dreamy, he's got sparkles shinning all around him… what else?" And the two left as well.

XXX

"Did you wait long?" Tohma rushed to the lobby to meet Yuki.

"Too long!" The blonde man grouched putting out a cigarette.

"Sorry, I was busy at the studio."

"So I heard, are you happy?"

"Very! I almost forgot what it felt like. Although I'm not recording today, I'm just mixing; you know we're doing a collaboration with Bad Luck." Tohma smiled mischievously.

"Hmph… why should I care?" Yuki went on ahead. "We'll take my car." He said over his shoulder changing the subject. Tohma couldn't help to smile and shake his head.

C'mon Shu!" Ryuichi's voice filled the lobby as the thirty some year old man pulled the younger singer, "You're too slow! I'm hungry." Shuichi allowed himself to be pulled by the hyper active singer as if he were his Kumagoro plush. Shu wore a big smile on his face, but as soon as he set eyes on the tall, blonde mangaka, he stopped dead on his tracks.

The two would- be lovers stood staring at one another. Ryuichi shifted his eyes from one to the other, and Tohma just stood back, allowing the two to scrutinize each other.

"C'mon Shu-kun" Ryuichi encouraged by throwing his arms around the younger singer's neck, and clearly giving Yuki a challenging look.

"Yeah… right." Shuichi looked the other way nonchalantly and headed out the building with Ryu.

"Hmph, the kid does get around." Yuki said dismissively and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.

"I don't think he has, but you know, he does have an undeniable charm. To have melted the ice around your heart and to have held Ryuichi's five minute attention span this long... you have to give him some credit." Tohma smirked at his ex's crystal clear jealousy.

"To melt what ice?" Yuki spat disgusted, "The kid's not even a good fuck." The taller man stormed away, and Tohma just followed shaking his head.

"Yuki Eiri!" A female voice yelled. Both men turned and saw Noriko running towards them. "Oh my god! I finally get to meet you. I am your biggest fan!" The woman gushed turning all shades of red, "I was at your engagement party, but I wasn't lucky enough to be introduced." She directed a stern glance at Tohma. Yuki just stared at her with an expression between puzzlement and annoyance.

"This is Ukai Noriko," Tohma said flatly, "The third member of Grasper… I didn't introduce you before?"

"No!" She pointed another accusing glare, and then she turned back to Yuki, all smiles "I know this is a bad time, but would you mind giving me your autograph? I've read all your books and I even went to a couple of your book signing events, but I've never been able to get to you before you leave." Yuki turned to look at Tohma and the blonde producer just shrugged.

"Is she for real?" The mangaka asked annoyingly, then rolled his eyes and took a pen from his jacket.

"…So anyways, there was this one time my mom took me to their temple, and he got me in so much trouble… he said that if I ate a sacred offering from the shrine I'd have good luck forever…" Another set of voices disrupted the lobby. Yuki perked his eyes as he saw Hiro coming their way with Suguru. The long haired man stopped a few paces away, and looked at the taller man respectfully. Yuki smirked, and forgetting all about the obnoxious woman, made his way to him.

"So… Hiro-kun I presume. We finally meet." Hiro bowed low and then met the deep hazel eyes.

"It is an honor to meet you Yuki-san, and allow me to apologize if I inconvenienced you in any way." The youngster whispered respectfully bowing once again.

"What are you apologizing to me for? I think there's another person who you should be bowing to," Yuki's smirk widen, "Anyhow, silky haired Hiro-kun, let me give you two good pieces of advice. First, do not cut your hair, and second, take care of my Tohma if you don't want my foot up your ass."

"Eiri!" Tohma exclaimed embarrassed.

"Will do," Hiro smirked as well, "Let me say something to you in exchange for the good advice," Yuki arched a brow, "He might be stupid and obnoxious, but he's got a big and honest heart." The two men exchanged looks for a moment.

"Hmph." Yuki blurted and walked away. Tohma looked about to make sure there were no prying eyes, and gave Hiro a quick peck on the lips before following his ex lover out the building.

"What about my autograph?" Noriko cried, but the two men were already out of sight "It's all your fault!" She turned to Hiro viciously, "You have to get Tohma to get a sig for me." Hiro raised his hands to shield his face from her.

"I can't if I'm dead!" Hiro joked.

"Let's go already," Suguru urged. Not very interested in these developments. He was eager to continued his story, now that he had found someone who would listen, he was not about to give him up.

XXX

"Beautiful isn't he?" Tohma gushed once they were in the car.

"Not as beautiful as me, but I guess he's alright." Tohma threw his head back in laughter, "I haven't seen you like this in years." Yuki let out seriously.

I'm sorry if I seem too overjoyed after what I did to your sister, but Hiro makes me whole." Tohma replied seriously as well.

"Don't need to explain anything to me… just be careful," Yuki warned concerned.

"Thank you, I will…" Tohma replied smiling warmly.

"Sorry I couldn't make you whole." Yuki whispered after a while.

"You did… in the beginning, but then you closed yourself like an oyster and I couldn't get in. Eiri, is time for that shell to open and the pearl inside to see the light."

"What are you talking about? I'm open like a book." Yuki pulled another cigarette. Tohma took it, and broke it.

"Those will kill you."

"I have to die of something." Yuki winked and pulled another one, "My car, my rules," he husked, lit it, took a drag from it, and let the smoke hit Tohma on the face, then he winked again.

"Get over yourself and ask Shuichi what's killing you to know." Tohma scorned.

"I didn't come here to talk about me," The mangaka snapped annoyed.

"You have to deal with it eventually."

"No I don't, and if you keep butting in, I'm dumping your ass in the middle of the road."

"Fine, but this conversation is not over." Tohma shrugged.

"Hmph… whatever."

XXX

**A/N**: Whew! Finally. I bet you all thought I died and my carcass was eaten by hyenas… no such luck. I'm still alive and kicking and have plenty more in store for you all. Now what the hell is up Ryuichi's sleeve… I don't think he even knows. And that Tatsuha, so cruel. Poor Suguru I fell like comforting him. Tatsuha is definitely not good enough for him. And Shuichi and Yuki, are those two ever see the light or what?

Next Stop: Well so far the next Chapter is called **Blade**, but that might be subject to change. Of Course we'll have 'the talks' Tatsuha and Shu and Yuki and Tohma… and then some (maybe even a lemon hehe). I'll put it out a lot sooner than I did his one. Again sorry for the delay. Enjoy.


	20. Blade

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any of the manga/ anime mentioned within this story.

For mature readers only.

**Chapter Nineteen: Blade**

"Do you know Yuki-sama?" Ryuichi asked innocently once they were in his car. Shuichi had fallen silent after seeing the reason for his angst talking so casually with Seguchi, and seemingly not caring that he was there glaring daggers—at least he hope he had—The bastard didn't even faze. It made the young singer so angry he could cry.

"You could say that." Shu replied looking absently out the window.

"He doesn't seem to like you too much though." Ryuichi added, sitting Kumagoro on Shuichi's lap.

"Yeah… he doesn't, but who cares? Is not like we're a couple of anything crazy like that. He doesn't like me because he thinks I'm perverting his little brother Tatsuha." Shuichi half smiled.

"Oh really? Then he'd really hate me!" Ryu laughed, "Although I don't think Tatsu-kun can be any more perverted than he already is." Shuichi had to smile at that one, "Anyway, you owe me a lot of dates." Ryu added getting serious.

"About that; I wanted to ask you… I mean… you know… what do you feel about me, that is…"

"I like you," Ryuichi blurted, replying the question before it was asked. Shuichi's eyes betrayed his shock, "I like you a lot, and I want to have sex with you… very badly." The sincerity and straightforwardness of his idol left Shuichi speechless.

"Ryu-kun…" Shu barely managed to let out. "I don't think…"

"I don't worry about stuff like feelings and complicated relationships, I just want to feel good, and make people around me feel good." The older singer added more serious than Shu has ever seen him.

"Ryu-kun…" Again, the younger man had no words. The philosophy was so simple, and yet, so… feasible.

"You don't have to say anything; I always get what I want, one way or the other." Shuichi was taken aback by those words. He should feel flattered, but was not in the least. He was scared to let his once idol- now friend down. Scared of losing that friendship, scared of not being able to say no and disappointing him. Just as he did Yuki.

"Ryu-kun…"

"I told you not to say anything… I'm hungry, I want Sukiyaki!" All seriousness was gone from Ryuichi's face and his goofy self took over once again. If he ever said anything he acted as if he forgot "Sukiyaki, sukiyaki, sukiyaki!" He chanted now, throwing Kuma-chan up and down.

"Ok, I won't say anything, but can I ask you something?" Shuichi asked coming out of his embarrassing shock.

"Sure, but if I don't like your question I won't answer." Ryu smiled.

"If I told you that I already like someone else, and I can't be anything more than a friend to you, would you hate me?"

"I don't care if you like someone… I never take no for an answer. I'll get you when I want you bad enough."

"But…"

"You said one question. You're talking too much Shu-kun, I want to sing! C'mon, sing with me…" Ryuichi chanted and began to sing the lyrics of Glaring Dream. Shu felt such a rush of happiness that his idol knew the lyrics of his tune, that he himself got carried away, and began singing with the older man forgetting all about his blonde God… at least for the time being.

X

At the restaurant they chose-- which of course had a Karaoke bar-- they ordered food for a battalion, and made the manager open the Karaoke section just for them, with the promise of autographed pictures giving props to the place.

They ate, drank and sang all the songs they loved. There was no more talk about feelings and relationships, just innocent fun. Shuichi felt so at easy with Ryuichi, so much that he was actually was beginning to contemplate getting involved with him.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here?" Tatsuha's voice halted the two in mid song. The younger man seemed to be everywhere as of late. Shuichi noted a bit annoyed. Ryuichi jumped from the stage and ran throwing himself into his arms.

"We saw your brother!" Ryuichi said happily, "He looks better and better every time I see him." he gushed.

"Really?" Tatsuha arched a brow, "Hello Shu-kun, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," the monk shifted his eyes to the younger man; Ryuichi let the monk go and sat at the table and began eating. Tatsuha sat down as well, not taking his eyes off Shuichi.

"Not at all, why would it bother me?" Shuichi replied, but in truth he was somewhat annoyed with the kid, and Ryuichi, who didn't look like the victim he claimed to be at all.

"So what's this about my brother looking good?" Tatsuha turned back to Ryuichi, disregarding Shuichi's answer.

"He does!" Ryu quipped and put Kumagoro on Tatsuha's head.

"He's a grouch, he looks older than he is, and he is socially impaired. Honestly, I don't see what people see in him." Tatsuha laughed fixing Shuichi a knowing glare. He took the bunny from his head and made it dance on the table, "So, was he at NG?" the monk asked dismissively.

"Yeah," Shuichi answered casually.

"What for?"

"I don't know; he left Seguchi-san."

"Really? I though Tohma was going with your friend." Shuichi was shocked that even Tatsuha knew, had he really been the last to know?

"Who told you?" Shu asked, and Tatsuha looked at Ryuichi, who busied himself with the sushi rolls.

"I got my ways to find things out." The monk smirked.

"Ryu-kun did you tell him?" Shu directed sternly to the older man.

"It wasn't me… it was Kuma-chan!" Ryu took the bunny from Tatsuha and shook it, and reprimanded angrily. "Bad Kuma-chan!"

"Don't worry about your friend's integrity… who am I going to tell?" The teenager replied calmly stealing food from Ryuichi's plate.

"Your sister," Shuichi said trying not to sound worried. He remembered the phone call from the night before. Hiro hadn't mentioned a word of what had happened, and he was dying to know.

"I hate her; I could care less if her man is cheating on her. Serves her right, if she can't do the job, somebody's got to do it."

"That's such a mean thing to say, she your sister!" Shuichi spat disgustedly. Were all the Uesugi so cold?

"And my brother is engaged with Mikka, but if she would want me to take care of her… I so would." Tatsuha continued nonchalantly.

"You're too much." Shu murmured dismayed.

"Hey, to each its own"

"What are you doing here anyway?" Shu asked clearly annoyed now.

"I told you, you and I need to talk." Tatsuha met the lavender eyes fearlessly.

"Do I have to leave?" Ryuichi wined.

"Of course not Ryu-kun, but you can go sing something for us." Shuichi turned to the singer, warming his expression. Ryuichi smiled widely and setting Kumagoro on Shu's lap, he kissed the singer's cheek affectionately and ran to the stage faster than they could take another breath.

"What do you want me to sing?" He yelled from the stage.

"How about… Break Through?" Tatsuha suggested. Shuichi nodded profusely, he so wanted to hear his idol sing his favorite Grasper tune.

"Alright!" Ryu yelled looking for the song. Tatsuha had observed the whole display from before with poorly hidden jealousy, but decided to leave it alone for now. And to move on to the more important topics.

"So what's the deal with my brother?" He asked without preamble.

"What?" Shu shifted his eyes to him almost choking in his drink, "What are you talking about?" Tatsuha didn't repeat the question; instead he calmly turned his attention to Ryuichi who had started his song and was currently dancing around on the little stage. A pull to his loin reminding him of the night before almost made him forget the matter at hand, but that could wait, he needed to deal with the competition first.

"I'm not stupid. I know Eiri better than he thinks. I spent my whole childhood idolizing the bastard, before I realized he's not worth it. But that's of no importance. I think I can tell when two people have a thing for each other, call it a sixth sense if you will," the teen monk returned his cold eyes to Shuichi, and the younger singer couldn't even meet the cold penetrating gaze he knew so well in a lighter color eyed version. He wondered mildly how similar Yuki and Tatsuha really were. Their likeness seemed to be much more than physical. Shuichi shook his head dropping the stupid thought. HE really should be wondering… how the hell did Tatsuha found out? And who else knew?

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shu responded after a – little too long of a pause.

"Spare me." Tatsuha spat," I can help you get him you know. That is if you haven't already call for a pillow on his bed." The monk added slyly.

"Tatsuha," Shu was almost shaking from anger, but he managed to remain calm by some sort of miracle, "I truly wish for you to stop assuming shit. I have no clue where you got such an absurd idea, or what rumors are going around, but I warn you… stop!"

"Or what?"

"Or…" Shuichi had no idea how to deal with him. He was certainly smarter than most people he'd ever had to deal with, other than Hiro, but his best friend wasn't a bastard like these people. The Uesugi were in a entirely different league. No wonder Seguchi wanted out of his marriage. "Or I will begin a very 'hot and sweaty' affair with Ryu." Shuichi threatened out as a last resort. It was low he knew, but he didn't care. He was sick and tired to have to deal with these bastards. Tatsuha's face took such an angry countenance, that even Ryuichi stop singing.

"What's wrong Tatsu-kun?" Ryu asked, looking from Shuichi and Tatsuha concerned.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Tatsuha replied smiling and going back to his normal self.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I just… you just got me angry that's all." Shu looked down to his plate and picked at the food.

"Why would you get angry, I mean, if there's nothing going on with my brother, you shouldn't care what I say, ne?" Tatsuha looked at Ryuichi again, and nodded smiling reassuringly.

"I know this might sound weird, but I know you and Yuki-san don't get along, so I thought you wanted to use me to get him.

"Why would I want to do that? And why would I know to use you to get to him? I thought you said you didn't know what I'm talking about?" Tatsuha took Ryuichi's glass and drank from it. "You know, this conversation is proving very interesting Shu-kun."

"You have a way to confuse people." Shuichi let out tonelessly.

"I learned form the best." Tatsuha reached out and took Kumagoro from Shuichi, "I want him," he added softly pointing his chin to Ryu, and I will do whatever it takes to make him mine. And if that means to play match maker to my asshole of a brother, so be it.

"I don't…" Shu began.

"You might not know what you want. But I know he has a thing for you."

"You lie! How would you even know that? You three don't even like each other." Shuichi almost screamed, his anger getting the better of him. Just remembering Yuki's disregard, made his blood boil.

"I know and that's all there is to it. Do you want me to help you yes or no?"

"No! I don't have a thing for your brother. Don't worry though; I have no intention in taking Ryu-kun from you."

"Suit yourself, don't say I didn't offer." Tatsuha replied shrugging.

"Shuuuuu-kun! Ryuichi finished his song, and threw himself from the stage to fall on Shuichi's back. The older man hugged Shu tight from behind and blew on the back of his neck. Making the younger singer visibly shudder, and the monk blow steam from his ears. "We have to go back." Ryu said lifting Shuichi's wrist to show him his own watch. Bad Luck's singer stood up, gently shaking Ryuichi off him.

"Right, we do. I'll talk to you later Tatsuha." Shuichi said thanking god for the golden ticket out of the suddenly cramped place. Shuichi walked ahead hurriedly leaving Ryu behind.

"I think you're scaring him Ryu-chan." Tatsuha joked raising a brow.

"He's so dense. I think I'm gonna have to spell it out for him." Ryu laughed, "I don't care. The harder they fight, the sweeter they fall," He held his lips pensive, "Or is it, the more they fight, the better they taste?" The puzzled look on Ryuichi's face, made Tatsuha throw his head back in laughter.

"You're too much, you know that?" The monk laughed, "You go and chase after him, but in the mean time, if you need to vent… here I am." He smirked.

"Ooh, I do need to vent. Let's vent tonight!" Ryu smirked mischievously.

"Your wish is my command." Tatsuha bowed low, and with a quick kiss on the cheek, Ryuichi went out to follow Shuichi.

XXX

So what happened?" Yuki asked as soon as they were seated.

"I told her everything. I also told her that I could not keep up the charade. That I want to move on and live my life as I please, and that she should do the same." Tohma began lowly.

"Sure, as if she's going to actually listen. You've been through this before; she never has taken you seriously." Yuki took Tohma's hand from under the table in one of the very few and far between displays of affection. Tohma smiled at the irony of it. A few months ago he would have given anything for it, but now, it seemed almost funny that Eiri would comfort him like this. "I tried calling her, she's not picking up. I'll go by your place later on and see what's up. The mangaka looked out the window at the passing people. He always chose a table next to the a window for that very purpose.

"That's unexpected. Are you feeling guilty… or worried perhaps?" Yuki turned to the blonde producer sharply.

"No, not guilty, but I am worried. I told you, I don't want to have anything in my conscience."

"Or you might be worried because she's your sister and you love her." Tohma added matter of fact.

"Felling guilty sounds better." The blonde man replied sarcastically.

"Don't worry; I'll do right by her. I told her if she needed anything that I'll be there for her. I do care for her…" It was Tohma's turn to stare at the passing crowds.

"I hope she doesn't do anything stupid." Yuki added sounding very much the concerned brother he wasn't known to be.

"She won't. She's too proud for that. Mika will most likely try to prove to me that she doesn't need me. And eventually she'll come around."

"I'd still keep an eye on her if I were you." Yuki observed, "I've never seen her like this... it's going to be hard to deal with her I'm sure. Once it sinks in that you're serious, she's going give you a fight you won't forget"

"I know, and I'm ready for it." Tohma sighed, "Don't worry though, of course I will keep an eye on her. Don't think that I will distance myself completely. I might not love her romantically, but I do feel responsible for her… like a brother."

"Like a brother that I'm not?"

"I didn't mean it like that Eiri."

"I don't care, is true. I'm no brother to her or the brat I know… by the way, how is he doing?"

"I saw him this morning at the studio. Although the situation didn't lend itself to ask, but for the looks of it, it seems as if he is fine… and as if he already knows." Tohma sipped from his tea, pushing thoughts of his young his brother-in-law far, far away from his mind.

"Really?" Yuki quipped, "I wonder what he thinks. As weird as that kid is, he's probably the most normal of us all."

"I'm not too sure about that," Tohma smiled, feeling a little guilty for not taking care of the kid as he had promised.

"Anyhow. I'll be very busy for a while. In the months that I wasted chasing…" Yuki stopped himself from finishing that statement. He wasn't sure why, but he disliked talking about Shuichi altogether. "The company went into the dumps, and I have assumed the bastard boss role again."

"Don't talk as if you didn't like it. You live for it. In any case, all your books are still in the top spots, I have no idea what you are referring to when you say 'in the dumps'"

"To me it is, and that's all there is to it. I started another book to bring us back to number one, so I'll have very little free time… do try to get Mikka off my back soon, if you can by the way."

"Another one?" Tohma raised a brow.

"Yes, I'll send you a copy once the first issue is ready." Yuki offered dismissively and had some of his tea. He really didn't want to dwell on it. It reminded him of Shuichi and the reasons why he had given up on him… and that made him feel frustrated and angry.

"You know," Tohma smiled, that little mocking smile of his, that made Yuki very much want to punch him, "I noticed that you only do that when something mayor goes on in your life. As if submerging yourself in work will somehow free you from your problems."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Yuki snapped, three seconds from actually punching him.

"NeoGenesis: to deal with your parent's rejection and your loneliness. Kenshin: when I told you Mika was pregnant and that I would marry her. Naruto: When Mikka talked you into moving in together. Weiss: when you two got engaged… and this one. Well we both know why this one came about."

"I don't fucking know where you come up with all these crap. I'm not even going to reply to it." Yuki tried to sound as if he didn't care; he took out a cigarette and lit it.

"Of course you can't reply, because you know I'm right, just as I'm right about you smoking more out of nervousness than actual addiction." Tohma took the cigarette from Yuki and threw it on the floor, stepping on it and pointing at the 'no smoking' sign.

"You think you fucking know it all." Yuki articulated fighting to keep his anger in check. The worst part was that Tohma was right, and deep down he knew it.

"Not everything, but I know you, and it hurts me to know that you cause your own pain." Yuki got to his feet.

'I didn't come to be lectured. If Mika calls you, let me know. I'll do the same." And the tall mangaka walked away. Lighting a cigarette as soon as he stepped outside. Tohma shook his head, sadness filling him… why couldn't Eiri admit that he was lonely, and seek the one who could end that loneliness and fill his soul?

XXX

The bands reassembled and every member seemed to be dealing with a different drama. --Except for Hiro and Ryuichi of course-- Even Noriko seemed unusually quite after she returned from lunch.

"So, did anybody die while I was away?" K came in and asked as he took one look of the assembled crowd. "Where's Tohma?"

"Not here yet," Suguru replied not looking up from his keyboard. He was feeling worst than he did before lunch, all that reminisce about the love of his life got him down.

"Wasn't he the one who said, 'be back by three'?"

"He's the boss…" Noriko blurted getting up from her seat and heading out.

"Where you going?" Hiro asked.

"To make a phone call."

"You can do it here, you know Noriko-chan. We'll be really quiet." Ryuichi offered, putting Kumagoro in front of his face.

"Personal stuff," She went out, and came back in a second later." And don't be trying to listen to my call if you don't want to get your asses kicked!" Ryuichi looked down, his cheeks turning a light shade of red.

"You're too much Ryu-kun," Shuichi laughed taking Kumagoro and running the other way.

"Oi, give him back Shu-kun!" The two singers began running around the studio. And the others rolled their eyes collectively. Tohma came in at that moment taking a look around the room, then went straight to Hiro.

"Where's Noriko?" He asked once he came to stand next to his lover.

"Making a 'private' phone call." Ryuichi stopped chasing Shu long enough to reply.

"Would you two stop?" Suguru pulled his music sheets off his keyboard right before they were blown and scattered all over the room, "What are you, in Kindergarten?"

Shuichi stopped and Ryuichi bumped into him. "Aw Su-chan is jealous 'cause he don't have nobody to play with." Shu chanted mockingly. Suguru calmly put his notes back in place and then turned to his band's lead singer.

"For someone who just got dumped you sure look very happy." Shuichi's color drained from his face. He turned sharply to Hiro, who held his hands up in innocence.

"I don't need anyone's gossip to discern the obvious." Suguru added smiling sarcastically sweet at Shuichi

"Let's continue, shall we?" Tohma interrupted before it got ugly. He wondered how his cousin knew, and what he knew. The producer walked into the mixing room, making a mental note to have a word with Suguru later.

They all went to their places and someone was sent out to find Noriko. At less than two weeks to release date, they were really running against time. Tohma would do everything in his power to have the Album mass-produced and distributed the day before release, but if there was conflict between the bands, that would prove a little hard, if not impossible. Noriko came, and they continued with the recordings.

After that little conflict between Suguru and Shuichi, the two were tense in the beginning, but before long, were submerged in the project in full. By the end of the day the song was recorded and Tohma intended to stay overnight to mix it and have it done by morning. Hiro of course would stay with him. And the rest went their separate ways.

There was nothing to do now but wait.

X

"So what you doin' now Shu-kun?" Ryuichi asked as they stood in the lobby.

"I'm going home to get some sleep. I didn't get any last night. About you?" Shu asked fearing he answer.

"Oh, I have a date."

"A date?"

"Yeah, with Tatsu-kun." Ryu smirked.

"Oh, I see… so you guys are going steady or something?"

"Oh no, he likes sex and so do I, so we get along great." Shuichi just nod, not knowing what to say to that. He could not understand the older man even if he tried. "Let's do something tomorrow. We have nothing to do before the albums release."

"I know, isn't that weird? Shouldn't we be promoting or something?" Shu was not the most knowledgeable guy in the business, but he knew that much, he'd seen enough pre-release interviews in his life to challenge anyone to a trivia quiz.

"Tohma-kun doesn't like it. He's likes to make everyone wait and bite their nails until everything is said and done." Ryu replied used to it all.

"Why?"

"That's his style… it works, so I don't care."

"It may work for Grasper, but Bad Luck needs all the help it can get."

"Tell him… or better yet, have Hiro-kun tell him." Ryu elbowed Shu playfully.

"What am I? I'm not going to use my friend's romance with the boss to get stuff done." Shu snapped a little too angrily.

"Don't be mad at me Shu-kun, I was only saying, you're so uptight sometimes."

"I'm not like that ok?"

"Ok, but I don't see what's wrong with it."

"We're not going to agree on that, so let's not talk about it ok?" Shu hugged the older man and headed on out. His van was already waiting outside. "I'll call you tomorrow." The younger singer said over his shoulder, waiving.

"I'll be waiting!" Ryu waived back holding Kumagoro in the waiving hand, the bunny's pink ears flipping from side to side.

X

Suguru was already in the van when Shuichi got in. The two ignored each other. It was very awkward without Hiro, but Shuichi guessed he'd have to get used to it, since most likely his old friend would now be Seguchi's shadow.

"I'm sorry I said that before." Suguru blurted uncomfortably. Shuichi just nodded, but said nothing. "I know it was out of place, but you got me mad. I know you were referring to Tatsuha." Shu looked up to him.

"The thought didn't even cross my mind," Shu said, " I did notice you two got some issues… but then again, who doesn't have issues with him?" Suguru smiled knowingly

"I guess you're right, anyway, I'm sorry."

"It's cool, although I have no idea what you were talking about."

"It seemed to me like you did." The van began moving. Suguru saw a figure he knew well… very well. "Stop!" He commanded and stared at Tatsuha going into the building. He reached for the door handle but Shuichi stopped him from opening the door.

"You don't want to know where he's going."

"Do you?" Suguru turned to him sharply.

"I'm not telling you."

"Just tell me this, is it true that he's involved with Ryuichi-san?"

"If I tell you that, then I'd be answering your first question." Shu smiled slyly.

"I'm not playing Shuichi-san." The seriousness in the teen's face made him look much older than he was. Shu sighed and nodded his head. Suguru nod saying nothing; he looked towards the entrance of the tall building.

"Let's go." Shuichi commanded, and the driver took off.

X

"Hey!" Tatsuha greeted casually. Ryuichi threw himself into his arms and kissed him full on the mouth. The teen was not one to complain and answered in full. K stood there rolling his eyes at the annoying, but very erotic display of affection. There was a flash coming from somewhere. K looked around worriedly, and the other two didn't even seem to notice.

"C'mon Ryuichi, let's go." K urged. Tatsuha and Ryuichi let go of each other and stood there looking at one another.

"Damn!" Tatsuha shook his head from his current dizziness, "What was that all about? Not that I'm complaining of course"

"That's how horny I am, I been waiting all day!" Ryu winked his nose at the teen.

"Is that because of me, or because you spent all day singing next to a sexy, sweaty Shindou Shuichi?" Ryuichi just smirked. Another flash came and went. This time K went around the lobby looking for the jerk who dared to snap pictures of Ryuichi, and then a very bad feeling came over the usually careless blond American.

What was that all about?" Tatsuha asked as the manager as he came back from his search, with a worried expression.

"Nothing to worry about yet…. Let's go."

XXX

Yuki sat back and admired the page he had so diligently been working on. It usually took him very little to put his ideas on paper once he got a particular scene or plot in mind. For some reason however, this new project was proving to be more than he wanted to handle.

He stared at the panels one by one and tried to concentrate on the artistic aspect of it, and what needed to be fixed, rather than the actual content of the page. Or more accurately, the 'object' in the page.

"The wings are all wrong." The mangaka whispered tracing his finger over the, would be ebony feathery appendages. Then they went to the boyish face, the slender chest and flat stomach.

"What the fuck am I doing, why can't I get you out of my mind?" He dropped his hand, and turned his gaze away, trying to take the kid off his mind, but the harder he tried, the more he thought of him and Tohma's words. He knew with every fiber of his being that his drawings were a means to escape reality. He just didn't like to hear it out loud.

But Shuichi… he was an entirely different matter. Not even the comfort his pad and pencil had awarded him in the past, seem to work against the young boy's charms.

"It would help if I quit drawing you, now would it?" Yuki whispered, setting his cold eyes back on the drawings in front of him. He stared at the angel in front of him for long time, then closed his eyes and dared to invoke the images from that night. Yuki moaned as the memories from their passionate, rough embrace came flooding in.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" He yelled snapping out of it. He got up and walked to the couch and threw himself on it. Taking his glasses off and setting them on the side table next to it, he sighed and stared at the ceiling for a long time.

"Humph, is not like you're even good at it." The mangaka let out sarcastically with a little ironic mock. Sighing deeply again, he closed his eyes, letting the day's frustrations and mental exhaustion take a toll on his tired body. Closing his eyes, the last thing he Yuki saw as sleep took a hold over him, was the sweet smile of a thirteen year old Shuichi at that convention so long ago, when he had thought his life was not worth to anyone and he been at the verge of taking his own life.

XXX

A/N: Well, well, well. Our story is slowly coming together ne? Now mostly everything is out in the open, and sooo ready for a conclusion already (sorry, but that's not gonna happen yet hehehe)

My question is… Where the hell did Mikka Costa go? And what will Mika do once it sinks in that Tohma don't want her for real? Well, I guess we'll have to read to find out ne? And what about those flashes (the Star magazine perhaps)? …. Very suspicious I'd say

Next Stop: **Bird**: This is your typical filler chapter, with a nice trip to the Hot Springs and all. Y' know… anime style! I know I promised lemon for this chapter… but guess what? You'll get… not double, but TRIPLE dose on the next one. Don't miss it!

Random question: Since I'm about to run out of Gravi song titles, I was wondering if it would seem too out of pattern to use the 'instrumental or mixes' song titles, like _Power Cave_ or _Missing Piece_ and such? Let me know. Also I want to know who is getting bored with the story? I mean, I have noticed that feedback has decreased, and that a lot of the reviewers ask for Shu and Yuki already… am I boring you kids? Tell me so that I know if I should speed things up or keep building up.

"Till the next one.


	21. Bird

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any of the anime/manga mentioned within the story.

**For mature readers only.**

Yay! I found a beta. Thanks so much to Reyn for her great and speedy, speedy work

Thank you all for your input. I see a few of new faces (names, whatever) and some I haven't in a while. I appreciate each and every comment, and I look forward to them each time I update. I write for myself, but I do like to please the masses, so I listen to your props and complaints (if you will) as well.

I'm happy to see that most of you are happy with the pace of the story… you all know I like to complicate things… if you guys haven't noticed yet. I love angst! And the more the better, I guess you could say I have a sappy heart that will not be satisfied until those two knuckle heads suffer. On this chapter however, I have a little surprise for you all… I hope this is enough to keep you guys off my back (for a little while at least)

I know I still have a lot of song titles left. But judging by the way I'm going, I think I'll run out before the story is done. I guess if that happens, I can always turn to my Gakuto (Gackt) or Laraku (L'ArcenCiel) or Luna Sea, or Diru (Dir en Grey,) Or Kagrra… hell! Even Malice Mizer if need be for cool song titles. But let's just hope I get my act together before I have a chance to worry about this.

Kyaaa, Long A/N! I promise at the end I'll be brief (maybe not)

Best regards… Blue

**Chapter Twenty: Bird**

Shuichi let the warm water wash over his tired body to release the stress he was most definitely feeling. The day had proven to be a really fucked up one. Tatsuha's words had not left him all day; distracting him to the point where Seguchi had had to stop the recording a couple of times because he'd forgotten the lyrics to the song.

"_I can help you get him you know…"_ Shuichi mimicked Tatsuha angrily, "What do you know bastard? And who the fuck do you think I am?" the young singer spat, hitting the white tile with the palm of his hand. He could be many things, but he had his dignity. He held onto the cold slippery wall with both hands, and shut his eyes tightly, trying with all his might to take the blond bastard out of his mind. But hard as he tried, he kept seeing his face, as it was when he disregarded him in the lobby at the NG building that very same afternoon, and the way he had glared at him at the Karaoke bar when he found him with Tatsuha a few nights back.

Every single memory Shuichi had of the handsome god showed him exactly how little he cared for him. And yet, Shuichi would give anything to be in his arms once again.

He shook his head as an image from the one night they spent together making love, came so vividly to invade his senses, and threatened to weaken his resolve to forget Yuki Eiri ever existed.

"Leave me alone!" Shuichi begged, already breathing hard, as Yuki caressed his most intimate parts in his mind's eye, " …leave me alone," he begged again with very little conviction. He threw his head back, and opening his eyes, he focused on a water spot on the ceiling. Looking at it as if it held all the answerers he seeked. Anything to take his mind from the bastard that was slowly taking away his ability to live.

"What the hell is wrong with me!" He asked himself, running a hand through his wet locks, still holding onto the tiled wall with the other, as if it would collapse on him and crush him. His heart began beating faster and his eyes were stinging as he fought the tears hiding behind them.

"No! I can't go on like this! I swore I would forget you." He reminded himself of his oath. But the deep hazel eyes would not stop haunting him.

Shuichi tried to deviate his thoughts to the upcoming release of Gravity and Grasper's Greatest Hits. On all the awesome plans Seguchi had in store for them. This was his time to shine, the moment he had been born for. He should be enjoying every minute of it, instead, here he was thinking about a bastard who didn't even give a flying fuck about his feelings. Who didn't deserve to have a space in his heart.

The harder he fought it, the faster the erotic images poured in. Yuki kissing him, Yuki caressing him, devouring him…loving him. Soon the images became too much, and Yuki's face transformed from the spiteful, full of disgust stare he gave him at NG that afternoon to the pleasure filled one from that magical night they spent together.

Shuichi could hear the moans that had escaped his love, could feel his hot breath on his face. The singer screamed and held his head tightly, shaking it until it throbbed.

"Don't…do this to me!" He begged himself. He could hardly breathe, and even though he was under the warm stream, he knew he was sweating. He leaned his back against the tile, closing his eyes tightly; His thoughts still on that night of passion that will never repeat itself.

"Why can't I get you out of my mind…my heart? You're a heartless jerk who doesn't care about anyone but yourself. So why do I love you so much?" The tears that he had fought to keep within himself made their way down his face freely, mingling with the streaming water. Shuichi's hand came to shield his eyes as in shame someone would see him like this. He was ashamed of how stupid and weak he was.

He didn't even fight the images anymore, he began welcomed them instead. Slowly, the hand that covered his eyes traveled down the path it knew all too well. What did it matter that he wanted to hate him and give up on him, if when it all was said and done his weakness won over all reason? His hand found his center, and a hot flash of pleasure gripped him as he held his hard sex and stroked it slowly. More images of Yuki made their way into his mind, and soon, Shuichi's moans filled everything. He buckled his hips as he struggled to reach the pinnacle of his shame, that little glimpse of heaven that always left him yearning for more. He stroked faster and faster, and called the name of the one who had turned him away over and over.

"Yuki… oh Yuki... god." The erotic images stopped, and the disgusted face he had giving him that very afternoon came back to remind him how petty his feeling were. But he didn't care, it was far too late, he was far too gone in the sweet pressure building inside him to feel saddened. His moans increased in volume, and his hand stroked faster. He slid himself to sit on the cold floor; legs spread wide open, head shaking from side to side, eyes shut tightly. His other hand found its way to the portal he had given but to one person alone. Shuichi arched his back as two digits entered his tight opening.

"Ah…" Shuichi cried, stroking himself violently, as his fingers caressed his insides deliciously and the water stroked his body like a thousand feathers. The pain he felt was nothing compared to that time, but it was almost as good. "I hate you…" he whispered, and the room went round and round as empty pleasure gave way to an emptier orgasm that was over all too quickly. He withdrew his fingers and drew in his knees, holding them together with his arms. Resting his forehead down upon the appendages, he cried. For himself, for Yuki, and for everything that he was holding inside.

"I hate you…" he repeated between bitter sobs, even though deep down he knew it was a lie. He could never hate him, and that made him hate himself. Weakly he lifted a hand and shut off the warm stream, making the water icy cold.

"I should have fucking done this in the first place!" he admonished, trembling as the cold water hit his skin. Then hung his head and cried once again until there were no more tears left.

XXX

Tatsuha took in his surroundings in quiet awe. His face remained the same impassive, cool façade, while his heart was beating so fast it was getting hard to breathe. He could not believe that he was standing in Sakuma Ryuichi's place! The singer had left him alone in the living room to go and change into something more 'comfortable.'

He walked around the huge and very tastefully decorated penthouse apartment. The style was very contemporary. Black, white and chrome dominated the decor, giving the visual impression of a much bigger place still. It was very unlike its resident's personality; for some odd reason Tatsuha had imagined Ryu's place to be much warmer and colorful sparkly, just like he was.

The far wall was lined with the band's platinum discs and other awards, while the other walls were lined with various pictures. The young monk went to them eagerly and inspected each of them reverently. All of them were from his Grasper days. Younger versions of Tohma and Noriko were in many of them, as well as K-san, and many other people he didn't know. There were lots of live pictures, and pictures with other celebrities they might have worked with, as well as a lot of shots with show hosts and such. These—Tatsuha noted-- were all portraits of Ryuichi's professional life. Tatsuha smiled warmly as he noticed Kumagoro present in many of the elegantly framed shots.

"You want something to drink?" Ryuichi asked startling him. The monk turned to him and had to hold in a gasp as he saw that his idol wore nothing but a small pair of denim shorts.

"You got beer?" Tatsuha asked slyly, hiding his awe behind a cool grin.

"You're not old enough to drink, don't think I don't know how old you are." Ryu smirked slyly as well.

"I'm not old enough to have sex either… and yet here I am." Tatsuha replied mischievously, coming closer to the older, yet shorter man.

"Who said anything about doing it?" Ryuichi's expression was equally mischievous, "You think I'd go to jail for a stupid thing like that?" Tatsuha was now standing directly in front of the older singer. His smirk grew wider as he saw the clearly pronounced bulge through the tiny pants.

"You say that…but…" The monk let his hand caress over the tight denim. Making its way to unbutton the shorts and free his prize.

"I'll get your beer." Ryuichi chanted and sauntered away before Tatsuha could accomplish his task. The teen was almost shaking, the memories from the night before came flooding back, doing nothing to calm the fires within him.

He looked around once again, trying to find anything to take his mind off the erotic things he wanted to put his idol through. Tonight, Tatsuha was determined to maintain some semblance of control.

He spied to the far end of the room, the entrance to another section of the enormous apartment. Without thinking, he made his way to it, and was surprised to find a very spacious room, decorated very unlike the one he'd just come from. Aside from a couple of warm color couches, a big, mahogany coffee table, and a piano, the room was almost bare. Tatsuha found a light switch and the room came alive. This room looked a lot cozier than the other one, complete with a fireplace and all. It was rectangular in shape, with great floor to ceiling windows overlooking downtown Tokyo on the opposite side. The fireplace was on one side, and a wall lined with more pictures was on the other. He walked to them expecting to find more Grasper shots, but instead, the monk noted these were personal pictures with people—Tatsuha had to assume— who were his family and friends.

He looked at each picture carefully, drinking them in as if his love's life was being narrated through them. There were many with Tohma, in a park, at a club with a group of people with them, at a party, some wearing swimsuits, some with heavy coats and scarves… they looked so young and happy. There were also several shots with Ryuichi posing with a beautiful young girl. Tatsuha felt a bit of jealousy looking at the two together. She seemed so innocent and care free, that one might say they looked alike. There were a few shots of them with an older couple who were more than likely Ryu's parents, and some of them had Ryu alone with another young boy.

These photos ranged from them as little boys, to all the way through High School and college. Tatsuha felt such a rush of love for the vision of Ryuichi as a child. He looked exactly the same, only shorter, and with that cuteness only children possess.

He saw the boy in some pictures from Ryu's Grasper days even, could see all the changing seasons through the shots; their changing styles, hairdos. He was truly jealous now.

"Who are you?" The monk whispered, running a digit over the smiling, unknown face.

"That's my ex." Ryuichi's voice interrupted, making the monk almost jump out of his skin… again.

"Oh," was the only thing Tatsuha could utter after that admission from his god.

"Here's your beer." The singer held out the icy can. Tatsuha walked away from the wall nervously, and took it. He wanted to ask him so many things, but Ryuichi's playful demeanor seemed to suddenly disappear. The singer walked out of the room as soon as Tatsuha took the can from him. The monk followed, smacking himself inwardly for being such a moron.

Ryuichi sat on the couch, opened his beer and took a big gulp from it. Tatsuha did the same, and the two remained silent for what it seemed like hours.

Tatsuha wished he could turn back time and never wandered into Ryuichi's personal sanctuary, but being the stupid ass that he was, he had to go and ruin everything. He played with the cold droplets as they slid down the cold can, looking for something to say that could possibly redeem his dumb self.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," He opted for the logical thing to say.

"I'm not upset," Ryu replied absently. He seemed to be in another world, as if deep in thought or… reminiscing.

_Great Tatsuha no baka!_ The monk thought as he watched Ryuichi lost in his memories. _You made him think about his ex lover…way to go. _"I should have asked before barging in like that."

"Yeah…you should have." Ryu agreed as absently as before.

"Sorry." Tatsuha murmured again, not knowing what else to say.

"Is fine, I said I'm not upset." Ryuichi set his beer down on a side table and stretched languidly, like a cat. He crawled to Tatsuha and straddled him. The teen took a deep breath and closed his eyes to calm himself, but the scent of Ryuichi invaded his senses, taking away his ability to think.

"Let's not waste anymore time." Ryu whispered, blowing warm air over Tatsuha face, then ran his tongue over the monk's half parted lips. Tatsuha shot his eyes open, and was met by an empty smile he didn't recognized to be Ryuichi's. "Let's get to the point." The singer uttered and began kissing his way down the monk's neck. Tatsuha threw his head back to allow him more access. He was in heaven, and yet, he felt that things somehow had changed from when he first came into Ryuichi's place.

He could feel the emptiness in his love's kisses, in his cold embrace. Gently, but firmly, Tatsuha put his hands on Ryuichi's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze to call his attention. As expected, the singer stopped his descent, and shifted his green eyes to meet Tatsuha's onyx ones.

The monk almost whimpered at the sight of them. They had a glassy gleam to them. A gleam he himself wore when he slept with the random men and women he allowed to get close to him when he thought loneliness would get too overwhelming to bear. It broke his heart to know that he didn't mean a thing to the man he would give his life for. That to Ryuichi it didn't matter who it was as long as he didn't have to spend the night alone… just like himself, before he came to Tokyo.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't to." Tatsuha let out softly.

"Is ok, didn't you come to have sex?" Ryu smiled that empty smile again, and resumed his descent down the teen's neck. With all his might, Tatsuha held his face and moved it to meet his.

"No, that isn't the only thing I came for. I came to be with you, and by that, I mean doing anything you want. Whether it's just to talk, sit around, or watch TV, then that's exactly what we'll do." Ryuichi seemed unprepared for such selfless words. He looked at Tatsuha confusedly, not knowing what to do or say. Then slowly, he crawled to the other end of the couch.

They sat in silence for a long time. Ryuichi was sitting back, with his head on the back of the couch staring at the ceiling; and Tatsuha was cursing himself for blowing it again. Deriding himself for daring to think that Ryuichi might have wanted anything from him other than sex.

"Do you know why Nittle Grasper disbanded?" Ryuichi asked suddenly. His voice was nothing like the bubbly chant Tatsuha loved so much. The monk shook his head slowly, wishing he could take back the stupid words that made Ryu feel like this.

"At the time I was really depressed." Ryu smiled bitterly, all sparks from his face gone. Tatsuha swallowed hard and waited for him to continue. "We had worked so hard to get where we were, our albums were selling so well. We were on top of the world, from tours, to TV shows, photo shoots, fans throwing themselves at us. I thought I didn't care about any of those things, but I was having such a great time, that I pushed everyone around me aside." Ryuichi looked towards the room where the pictures from his past were.

"We were together since elementary. Always the three of us-- my sister Aiko, Yoshiki and me." Tatsuha had no idea Ryu had a sister. In fact he didn't know much about it him other than he had the voice of angels and a face and body to match. Ryuichi never talked about his personal life in interviews. He gave everyone the impression that Grasper was his life.

Tatsuha had always wanted to know all about him, and Tohma, the only one who could tell him anything, always told him that it was not his place to talk about it every time he asked. Hearing this now, however, didn't feel half as great as he thought it would. The way Ryuichi looked, so sad and lonely, made the teen feel helpless. "During our senior year in High School Yoshiki and I became lovers. The first one I told was Aiko, she was so happy for us. She gave us our space and all. Then I told my parents, and even though they were not as ecstatic, they supported me… they always do." Ryuichi took a deep breath, then slowly took his beer and held it to the light, and stared at it.

"Then Grasper took off, and I didn't have time for him anymore. We spent less and less time together. I quit college so that I could dedicate myself to the band, and he continued. His dream was to become a writer. After I left we hardly saw each other, and the few times we met, all we did was have sex. We had nothing in common anymore, nothing to talk about other than Aiko, and how she was doing." Ryu sighed again, "But I loved him…" He felt silent again; it was as if the memories were physically hurting him.

"You don't have to talk about…" Tatsuha implored, hating to see him hurt.

"No! I want to, you said we could talk." Ryuichi shifted his eyes to Tatsuha imploringly.

"Of course." The teen whispered moving closer to him.

"One day Yoshi came to see me. It was during the 'Sleepless' tour. As soon as I saw him I knew something was wrong. After that night's concert we went to my hotel room, and he told me it was over. He said that he loved me, that he always would, but we lived in different worlds. He said he had found somebody else and I should do the same. I knew everything he said was true, but I didn't want to give him up… it just hurt too much." Tatsuha scooted the rest of the way and held the older man tightly in his arms. "He said we'd always be friends…" Ryuichi whispered and fell silent.

Suddenly he understood everything. Ryuichi's immaturity was all an act. It was the only thing he could do in his denial. They were the same, Tatsuha thought bitterly. He pretended to be strong and cold, but in truth, he needed love and attention so desperately that he willingly gave himself to whoever wanted him.

Tears clouded his vision. They were the same; Ryuichi and he were the same. Tatsuha swore to himself that no matter what happened, or how much into Shuichi, Ryu was, he would not abandon him as Yoshiki did.

Ryuichi sighed deeply, making Tatsuha aware that he'd fallen asleep. An overwhelming love filled the teen's usually empty heart. He held his love tight and kissed the top of his head tenderly. Carefully sliding into a comfortable position on the oversized couch, with the warm body of Ryuichi on top him, Tatsuha closed his eyes and he too let the dreams come.

XXX

Yuki woke up with a start as a loud noise made its way to his ears. He sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes and trying to adjust his vision to the dark room. The cool air chilled his skin making him sneeze. Again the noise intruded his senses, this time fully awake and aware of himself, Yuki realized that it was actually a loud moan coming from somewhere in the apartment. Shocked--and curious-- he immediately made his way into the living room, only to find it empty. More long moans could be heard, each of them sounded as the person eliciting them was reaching to some climatic point.

"Tohma?" Yuki called already beginning to pant from anticipation, he ran to his bedroom, fully expecting to find his old lover in there. He opened the door, stopping dead in his tracks as he was confronted by the sight of Shuichi naked on his bed pleasuring himself. His lean body was covered by a thin layer of sweat that made it look almost glossy. And his white skin seemed luminescent against the moonlight filtering through the window. Yuki gulped loudly, he was too stunned to move or do much else.

_When did he… and how? _Yuki began to wonder, when more moans that grew louder and more intense, interrupted his train of thought.

"Ah God…" Shuichi's head turned his way. His eyes were shut tightly, his chest heaving as each breath left him, his back arching, his legs spread wide open, and his hips buckled frantically against an invisible lover. "God…Yuki…" As he breathed the words, two of his fingers found their way to his mouth. The beautiful boy sucked them desperately, while his other hand worked over his sex so fast that it almost seemed inhuman, "Ooh… almost there…oh God." Shuichi rasped. Yuki could take no more of it, he forced his muscles to obey the commands his brain gave them, and moved towards the man he's been obsessing over, tearing his clothes to shreds along the way. He didn't care how or why anymore. All that mattered was that Shuichi was here and he was gong to have him. He took Shuichi's hand away from his sex, and covered it with his mouth, sucking it violently… how he wanted this… how he needed it.

Shuichi gasped and got on his elbows, ready to attack the predator who dared touch him, but as soon as he saw the blonde head bobbing up and down over his over-stimulated skin, his eyes filled with tears.

"Yuki…" he whispered lowly, "You came, you came to me." Yuki shifted his deep honey eyes to the lavender ones for only a second, but a second long enough to show him the desire written within them. Yuki forcefully pushed the younger man to lay on his back, and he began to kiss and suck his way to Shuichi's lips, leaving no inch of skin unexplored, and covered them with his own.

They kissed as if their very lives depended on it. Yuki, caressing Shuichi's face and threading his fingers through his silky hair with one hand, and spreading his legs apart with the other. And Shuichi, trembling unable to make his limbs move.

"Don't be scared…" Yuki breathed against his lips, and brought up two fingers to them, which Shuichi sucked as he had his own.

"I'm not scared… I'm happy." The singer smiled as he ran his tongue over Yuki's digits. The mangaka took them away and replace them with his lips. Shuichi's back arched as the wet digits penetrated deep within him. His body shook from head to toe, welcoming the overwhelmingly pleasurable invasion. He ran his hands over Yuki's back, baring his nail and scratching him frantically as the mangaka caressed his insides and sucked at his tongue in perfect rhythm.

"Oh god Yuki." Shuichi choked breaking their infatuated kiss. "I can't believe you're here… that you came to me. Yuki kissed the boys' face, neck, and collarbone, then back again to take an earlobe into his mouth and suck at it.

"It took me too goddamned long." Yuki breathed more to himself than anything. Suddenly Shuichi brought his palms to Yuki's chest, and pushed him off, making him fall from the bed. His eyes opened wide in shock. "What the hell?" he whispered. Shuichi stood on the bed, his skin gave a fluorescent glow that made him look almost holy. Then horror filled the mangaka as two black wings sprung from Shuichi's back and spread ominously almost as wide as the room itself.

"You left me; you used me and disposed of me as if I were but a toy. You took the only thing that was mine alone to give; you took your pleasure from it and broke my heart caring naught for my feelings… Now is my turn, now you will suffer as I did." And with these words, Shuichi came down and flipping Yuki over on all fours buried himself deep within. Tearing and burning as he entered his being.

"Does it hurt? Does it burn?" Shuichi hissed into his ear. Yuki's mouth opened agape, but no sounds came out. He wanted to beg this merciless angel to fuck him senseless, to make him feel pleasure and pain like he's never had, but he knew he didn't have the right. He was at the mercy of this black angel of desire, and he would take anything he had in store for him.

Shuichi began moving slowly, he pulled almost all the way out. Only to ram himself forcefully back in. He did this a few times, eliciting cries from the one below.

"Yes, yes, yes…" Yuki, breathed out, as every cell in his body tingled with pleasure.

"Oh, you like it don't you?" Shuichi let out sarcastically, thrusting into Yuki's body even more violently. He pulled the bruised mangaka up by the hair and made him rest his back against his chest while still thrusting hard. "That's fine, enjoy it all you want, just know that when it's over, my loneliness will seem like nothing compared to yours."

Yuki heard the words, but they really didn't seem important now. He shook his head from side to side as he rode the waves of pleasure, wishing it was never over. He was not used to these exhilarating sensations, and he realized now how much he craved for them, needed them. Shuichi sucked at Yuki's lobe, breathing in choked gasps that were driving Yuki wild. Shuichi's hands held his hips as he thrust in and out fast. Then one of those hands moved to take hold of Yuki's neglected hard shaft and ran its length with maddening slow strokes. That was all it took to make Yuki loose all composure, he threw his head back against Shuichi's shoulder, and let out a long, strangled moan that sounded like a cry for help.

"Does it feel good?" Shuichi asked in a mocking sneer. Yuki nodded his head not able to draw words. "You like it so much that you could die?" Again Yuki nodded wishing this sweet pain would never stop. "Do you want to come? Yuki opened his mouth to say yes, but no sounds came, instead his shaky hands reached back to grab a hold of Shuichi's hips to move them even faster. "If you ask me nice, I might let you." The black angel spat mockingly.

"Please… let me." Yuki choked. Shuichi's cold hand took his hard, ready to explode organ and pumped a couple of times, just enough to give him a taste of heaven, but not enough to reach it. Then, Yuki felt a rush of air, and his body left the ground. He looked to one side and saw black wings spread open majestically as they were lifted into the air…

Yuki awoke with a start, darkness surrounded him, and sweat drops slid down his face in rivulets. He was alone, there was no merciless angel whispering cruelly in his hear, no sweet pain, no black wings lifting him in the air. Realizing it had been nothing but a dream, the mangaka began laughing ironically at the idiocy of it all. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" he muttered aloud looking down to see his hand around his engorged sex. He'd been so close to release, he could actually taste it, his skin still tingled from the vivid images…

"Serves me fucking right!" Yuki let out, throwing his head back. He closed his eyes and invoked the images of his dream, what did it matter to hide it anymore? He brought two fingers to his mouth and sucked them just like Shuichi had, stroking himself in perfect sync.

"Oh little boy… what are you doing to me?" Yuki breathed arching his back as a violent orgasm shook him to the core. His semen shot out in an arc and landed onto his stomach and chest. Heaving until the last vestiges of his orgasm left him, he realized that the angel in his dream had been right. The loneliness and frustration he felt scared him.

XXX

Shuichi lay in bed staring at his treasure. He had had half the mind to get rid of the autographed picture of Yuki, but in the end, he knew he could not. He stared at the hard eyes that had plagued him for so long, wondering why he couldn't hate the man.

"I should sell you on Ebay." he spoke to the portrait, and put it back in its place in the top drawer of his bedside table. He stared at the ceiling knowing that sleep would not come easy.

He heard moans, and rolled his eyes in annoyance… and jealously at the two in the next room. _Can't you jerks go to a hotel?_ He rolled his eyes again, _there's no fucking respect around here_! Putting a pillow over his head he tried to shut them out, no such luck, then he turned on his stomach and tightened the pillow over his head, almost to the point of cutting off his air supply. No matter, he knew they were there and knew exactly what they were doing. Jealousy stabbed at him again, _Hiro you're so fucking lucky!_ He thought, _you get to fuck Seguchi, while I'm here… alone and thinking about 'king of the assholes' on top of that._

Shu tossed and turned looking for a comfortable position to try and get some much needed sleep. Then a loud moan-that was unmistakably Hiro's- came, followed by softer-but still audible- one. Shuichi sat up, picked his alarm clock from the side table, turned around, and banged the wall forcefully.

"Hiro you jerk! Do you mind, I'm trying to get some sleep here!" He heard laughter, and cursed the day he had the great idea to shack up in the room next to his best friend's.

"Sorry man!" came Hiro's the half laughing reply.

"Jerk!" Shu snapped softly to himself, "Tomorrow I'm definitely moving across the hall."

XXX

After his pathetically weak resolve was broken, Yuki thought about his relationship with Shuichi-if it could be called that- for a long time. There was no point in denying he still had strong feelings for him. The dream had been a solid proof that he was constantly on his mind. What he felt for the kid was alien to him, not even Tohma, who he had thought he loved more than anything, came close to what he felt every time he thought about the young singer. It was a different sort of love altogether. When and why he had fallen so deep, not knowing anything about he kid, couldn't be explained, but the fact was there and he could do nothing about it. Yuki also knew that he was scared of the feelings Shuichi invoked in him. He thought of the time when he had loved freely, and had gotten hurt to the point of almost killing himself. He didn't want to go through that again. True, Shuichi's comment, back when he was a kid, plus Tohma's persuasions made him change his mind, but that was just it. He could not be with someone who had that kind of control over him. Yuki liked to be in full control, and he was nothing but, as far as Shuichi was concerned.

Also the fact that he was younger both in age and mind. Although the age gap was exactly the same as Tohma and himself, they were still too different. In short, there was nothing in common they shared, other than the overwhelming physical attraction, but, judging by the way Shuichi carried himself around Sakuma Ryuichi and his own brother, Yuki was not entirely sure they even shared that.

"What am I going to do?" The mangaka whispered to the dark. He dressed slowly, deciding to do the same thing he always did when he was scared.

X

Mikka could not sleep at all. She had tried to call Eiri, but as usual he didn't call back. Mika's words were haunting her… what if it was true? What if Eiri was infatuated with Bad Luck's lead singer? As ridiculous as it sounded, there were clear signs that her fiancé was not totally indifferent toward the kid.

She looked at her watch, it read almost two in the morning. She had to go to bed; there were a ton of things she had to do before the release of her album, from interviews, to TV and radio appearances. She knew Tohma would do nothing to promote Grasper, and that gave her little over a week to get ahead of the game. Bad Luck was not even a challenge, judging by the one song they had out, she knew they were no match. She put her journal aside, and headed to her room. She heard the sound of keys, and her heart began beating a little faster.

Yuki came in and stood at the doorway looking at her. "Eiri!" She gasped, sounding surprised, obviously not expecting him. He wished there was another way to deal with his doubts, but right now he didn't want to be alone, and being with her was better than to be alone while obsessing over a certain singer.

"Hey," he greeted feigning warmth, setting his keys down on the antique table by the door.

"Rough day?" Mikka asked coming out of her shock, as she sauntered to him, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips.

"Yeah," Yuki blurted, bringing his hands to her wrists and removing her arms from around himself so he could walk into the spacious place. He went into the kitchen and got a can of beer from the fridge. Mikka followed him in silence and stood by the doorway watching him. "What's wrong?" Yuki asked.

"Nothing, It's just that is a bit strange of you to remember you have you home." She said. There was no reproach in her voice whatsoever; she was merely stating a fact known to them both.

"Yeah well, consider it my once a month visit." Yuki replied, a bit annoyed. It never failed to happen, he came to her because he felt lonely, but as soon as he heard her voice he wanted nothing more than to leave.

"What's the matter with you?" Mikka asked following him inside. Yuki set his beer down and took off his jacket, throwing it carelessly on a chair.

"Nothing's the matter," he replied, fighting an overwhelming desire to leave, and yet, he didn't want to be alone. Instead he pushed the feelings aside and made his way to her. He put his arms around her waist, and kissed her forehead. "I'm just tired."

Mikka's arms came around Eiri on their own, and held him tightly. He seemed so helpless, so vulnerable. All the rage she felt vanished and there was only the overwhelming love she felt for him.

"You live here you know. You can come around more than once a month," she joked, letting him go and kissing him on the lips. Eiri smirked, and carried her to the sofa. She threw her head back sighing deeply - all her worries and fears gone for the moment.

"I guess so…" Eiri whispered, throwing himself on the couch with her on top of him. Blinking confused, she began laughing like a child, realizing he was answering to her joke- something he very rarely did.

"We should do something together. My new album comes out in a week and after that I'll be too busy, even for you… ne what do you say?"

Yuki looked at her as if she had proposed the unthinkable. It would do him good to get away, but then again, but that would mean spending more time that he was willing to give, even to her. He turned the other way contemplating whether or not he should. His dream came to mind. He made up his mind.

"Go where?" Yuki asked.

"I don't know, anywhere. To France! Ooh Eiri, we haven't been to France in such a long time." Her heart was beating so fast at the prospect of going away with Eiri. "It will only be a few days, c'mon Eiri, if you do this I promise I'll leave you alone for a whole year!" She rushed excitedly.

"A whole year, huh?" Eiri stroked his chin weighing the offer

"Eiri!" she hit him on the arm, "You're the worst!" Mika's words from days before, words that had taken her ability to sleep were totally out of her mind now. She berated herself now for ever giving them any thought.

"To France? You don't go to such a place with only a couple of days to spare. Let's just go somewhere here in Japan, about Noboribetsu hot springs, in Hokkaido?" He suggested. Mikka's heart was about ready to blow, she felt dizzy from the excitement. "Besides, I just came back to the company full time again; I don't want to go so far this soon," Eiri added.

"I don't care; anywhere is fine, as long as we're alone together it will be fine."

"Alright, I guess I can use a good soak." Mikka squealed in delight and kissed her man deeply.

"I love you." She showered him with kisses.Yuki sighed exhaustedly, closing his eyes, and hoping this trip would help him clear his mind, rekindle his relationship with Mikka and above all, take Shuichi out of his mind for good.

XXX

Tatsuha woke up to a sweet pleasure building up inside of him. He lifted his head groggily to see Ryuichi's head bobbing up and down as the beautiful singer worshipped his fully awakened sex. He watched the erotic sight with glassy eyes. Aside from the physical pleasure, he could not remember ever being this happy. The teen brought his hands to hold Ryuichi's head, threading his long fingers through Ryu's soft brown mane. Ryuichi shifted his eyes to meet Tatsuha's and began running his tongue seductively over the tip of the monk's engorged shaft.

Tatsuha let out a long, loud moan, thinking that he must have died and gone to heaven. Nothing could begin to compare to the pleasure he felt, there were simply no words for it.

"Horny little boy," Ryuichi husked, blowing cold air on the hard member. "I woke up this morning, and I found this…" Ryuichi pumped the over stimulated sex a few times, "begging me for attention. Little boys these days are so energetic." The singer smirked, none of his playful demeanor present, only his other side, a side that few ever saw.

"Little boy, little boy… you keep calling me that," Tatsuha husked as well and sat up, grabbing Ryuichi's head, bringing it to his, and kissing him roughly. "And yet you treat me like a man."

"Ah, a man you say, I guess I can treat you like one if you want me too." And no sooner was this said that Tatsuha was pushed forcefully back down. Ryuichi began devouring the teen; he kissed him with such bruising force the monk could barely breathe. The singer made his way down Tatsuha's body in the very same way, sucking his skin, biting his nipples, grazing his teeth over the young skin, flicking his tongue over his navel and then back up to kiss him roughly.

The over stimulated teen couldn't even moan. He responded to the kiss in full, and with a shaky hand, found the object of his desires and stroked it clumsily.

"You need some practice," Ryu murmured flicking his tongue with Tatsuha's.

"Are you… gonna… let me practice?" Tatsuha breathed, stroking faster.

"Until you get good," Ryu breathed back, rolling his eyes to the back of his head and sighing deeply.

"I can't be that bad," the teen whispered a little more confidently, mesmerized by the expression of pure ecstasy on his love's face.

"No, you're not, but there's always room for improvement," Ryuichi asserted, going back to his previous task, this time sucking fast - eager for Tatsuha to reach his peak.

He didn't have to work to hard at it. As the increasing pressure built inside his body, Tatsuha found himself loosing all composure. The monk moaned loudly, almost to the point of growling, his eyes fixed on the display below. He wanted to prolong this moment forever, but he was barely able to breathe at this point. He held Ryuichi's head and made it move faster, bucking his hips in time with the bobbing head.

"Oh don't stop…" Tatsuha choked, ready to pass out, as Ryuichi sucked harder and faster still. "Oh god," Tatsuha moaned loudly as a white flash passed before his eyes and an indescribable pleasure took over everything. His body shook uncontrollably and he though he would die.

"Hey!" Ryuichi took Tatsuha's quivering lips with his own; he could taste himself in them. The monk kissed back with everything he had. "Next time you're gonna shot, let me know," Ryu laughed. "Cum isn't my breakfast of choice." Tatsuha laughed coolly as well, trying to gain back some semblance of self control.

"What are you talking about?" He asked playfully. "Semen is a nutritious part of a complete breakfast." Ryuichi threw his head back I laughter.

"Oh, so that's why I'm so short!" he said matter of fact.

"You're too much Ryu-kun!" Tatsuha laughed and kissed Ryuichi tenderly, then another wave of pleasure overtook him, as his still hard sex was engulfed by a tightening heat as Ryuichi sat on him. Tatsuha's heart stopped, his breath stopped, everything came to a halt, and time stood still and there was nothing but the feeling of Ryuichi's insides.

"You're so big…" The singer whispered as he descended slowly on him, and began moving, his face contorted in a mask of pure joy. Tatsuha couldn't even think straight, let alone show any kind of gratitude for the compliment.

The monk's hands moved in their own accord to caressed Ryuichi's chest, stomach, arms and everywhere they could reach. In fact, Tatsuha had no control of his body; it was as if his mind and body were two separate entities. The one acting on instinct alone, while the other was too overwhelmed to even think… but the pleasure… oh, he could not get enough of it.

Ryuichi seemed to react kindly to the stimulation and began moving a bit faster. Tatsuha's hands went from caressing his god's soft skin, to tweak Ryu's pink nipples. To this the singer threw his head back and opened his mouth, letting out a throaty moan. Tatsuha took it as an invitation to become bolder. One of his hands traveled the path down to Ryu's neglected sex and attempted to stroke it the way Ryuichi had done him, but was halted by the older man's green eyes snapping to his own.

"Don't touch it!" he snapped. Tatsuha was a bit taken aback, but obeyed, reassuming his caresses to Ryuichi's body. Finally his hands found their way to Ryuichi's slender hips and held them, unconsciously moving them up and down and driving himself deeper within.

"Ahhh," Ryuichi's eyes rolled back, and he began biting his own lower lip - a sight so erotic that it almost brought Tatsuha over the edge again. He pushed the need to down, he was determined to hold out for a long time, he would not disappoint Ryuichi anymore that he already had.

"Stop looking so sexy or I'm gonna cum," Tatsuha choked, watching his lover's intoxicating expression.

"If you do before me, I'll kill you." Ryu choked back dead serious. Tatsuha sat as best as he could, bringing Ryuichi with him, without leaving his love's tight embrace. The monk began kissing his way down Ryuichi's neck, collarbone, and shoulders. He pushed him back a little so that he could run his tongue over the hard nipples, which immediately caused a rather loud reaction with the singer.

"Oh, so that's your weak point." Tatsuha smirked and sucked at them hard, making Ryuichi scream in ecstasy. The singer moved faster, aided by Tatsuha's hands.

"Tatsu…" Ryu cried once and moved so fast that Tatsuha didn't even see his own orgasm coming to claim him; he shut his eyes and rode the waves of pleasure that seemed too much for him to take. Ryuichi's lips descended on his own and the two kissed hard, devouring each other as if it were the last thing they'll ever do.

In the back of Tatsuha's mind was the disappointment that he failed the love of his life again, but as his body still tingled and trembled from going to heaven, he felt hot liquid splashing on him and a series of loud moans that were music to his ears. He opened his eyes as the same time as Ryuichi's lips parted his, and the older man fell limp on his chest. "Damn I'm messy." Ryu sighed contently.

"Hey, if you gonna shoot let me know." Tatsuha joked contently after his pulse returned to a normal rate. "Cum isn't my moisturizer of choice."

Ryu sighed and kissed his chest tenderly, "What are you talking about; semen will keep you young forever." Tatsuha laughed and kissed the top of his head.

"I thought you said you've never been bottom."

"Eh, did I say that? You should know better than to believe a drunkard." The two stayed in silence for a long time.

"Yoshiki married my sister," Ryuichi murmured after a while. Tatsuha didn't understand at first, but then remember the night's before tale. "I never finished telling you my story," the singer continued lowly.

"Bastard…" Tatsuha breathed disgustedly wanting very much to kill the man.

"I'm cool with it. I don't think I would have wanted anyone else to replace me."

"Ryuichi." Tatsuha was at a loss for words.

"They have a little boy," Ryu continued. "When I found out Aiko was pregnant I got really depressed. At that time Tohma had found out that Mika-chan had faked her pregnancy so he would marry her, and Noriko was so huge that she could not work anymore. I didn't want to bother them with my petty problems." Tatsuha caressed Ryu's head tenderly as he listened to his tale. Who would have thought that the happy go lucky pop god had gone through so much? "But then our problems got the better of us and it started showing in our work, so we decided to call it quits."

"I don't know what to say," Tatsuha whispered, he for one had no idea Mika had never been pregnant. He remembered the big fuss his parent made when she 'lost' the baby. He wondered mildly if Eiri knew.

"You don't have to say anything, thank you for listening to my sap."

"Any time, but if I ever meet that bastard I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Yeah, you give him a hard one for me." The singer smiled jumping to his feet, and Tatsuha whimpered over the loss of his heat. "I know let's call Shu! I wonder what's he doing today." Tatsuha smiled determined not to show Ryuichi how much it that comment bothered him.

"Let's take a shower first, then have some breakfast… then call him, Ok?" the monk suggested, wanting to prolong his time with Ryu as much as possible.

"OK!" Ryuichi smiled giving him the thumbs up.

XXX

A/N: I bet you all though that Yuki was gonna screw Mikka? I got you all. eheheh! Well I'd say Yuki has some serious issues ne? And the two of them masturbating at the same time is kind of scary; do they have ESP or something?

Next Stop: Ok I have a little issue here. If you guys remember the last chapter's A/N, I talked about a Hot Springs Trip. Now, I can write it in the next chapter (it will be about 40 pages long) in which case it would be titled **"Minna, minna, minna".** Or I can mention it (there are a few important things going on there, but should not take too much away from the plot), and move on. In which case it would be titled **"Lost Complex"** ( it will be about 20 pages long this way.) I'll let you decide.

In any case if you guys want to go with door number B (I did that on purpose) I will release the Hot Spring Special as an alternate chapter. Don't miss it! (Either of them… ehehe)


	22. Lost Complex

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of the anime/manga mentioned within this story.

Well I'd say it's been a long time. I have a perfectly good excuse this time (at least for the first month) Wilma did a number on me and my home, I was out of power for two weeks and without internet for almost a month… yeah, yeah so what you say. It still doesn't justify all these time! I know I know, but at least I'm posting a long, long chapter… well two chapters

Like I said previously, you don't have to read Minna, minna, minna, but it would be very, very helpful to understand the rest of the plot (plus you never now what will happen with those two, yeah… _THOSE_ two)

I will try to explain as much as I can along the way though for those who decide not to read it, so if I sound like I'm repeating myself… you know why. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and have a great holiday (whichever one you celebrate) with you family and friends.

A shout out to Reyn for proof reading this for me

**Best Regards. Blue**

**Chapter Twenty-one: Lost Complex**

Shuichi came into the dinning room to find Hiro already sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading a music magazine.

"All you need is the dorky glasses, and you'd be the man of the house," Shuichi noted sarcastically taking his usual seat across from his best friend.

"And all you need is a ruler and you'd be Tanaka-san." Shuichi cringed at the mention of their High School biology teacher. His best friend smirked, flipping him the bird.

"Very funny… lucky those who had a good night's sleep," Shuichi mumbled annoyed.

"Who said I had any sleep?" Hiro winked mischievously.

"Yeah, rub it in… jerk." Shuichi poured himself a glass of orange juice, and got a couple of French toast pieces from the big feast before him. "What's with the American style breakfast? Don't tell me you cooked for your man? Aww, how cute!" the signer laughed.

"First of all, I didn't cook," Hiro replied calmly, "Tohma's chef did. Second, Tohma is not my man."

"Your woman then, thanks for the info, I really did want to know which one of you two wore the pants, I was betting on him though." Shuichi stuffed his mouth with the steamy food. "Oh man, this is the best! Must be nice to have a chef following you around, huh?" he remarked, getting a couple of pancakes this time.

"Funny, but no, we are two individuals in love, who share equal rights on a relationship based on trust." Shuichi stopped eating and looked at his best friend seriously for a moment, then began laughing hysterically.

"What's wrong with you man!" Hiro snapped getting annoyed, but trying not to show it.

"Sorry man, it's just that I thought you said 'equal' and 'based on trust' relationship," Shuichi kept snickering as he said the sarcastic words. Hiro looked none too pleased, committing these little comments to memory to get him for them later.

"Anyway," Hiro changed the subject, "sorry about last night."

"Yeah, that reminds me. Are you gonna give me nightly concerts every night? Cause let me tell you…"

"Yeah… about that," Hiro put his magazine aside, getting serious. Shuichi got serious as well, noting change of mood.

"Where's Seguchi?" Shuichi asked lowly, sensing that Hiro's change of mood had something to do with him.

"Sleeping," Hiro replied.

"So what's wrong, what happened the other day?" The singer asked curiously referring to the little incident of the other night.

"Well, Tohma and his wife separated." Shu's eyes opened wide.

"Over you?"

"No dummy, there was a lot of other stuff going on. Anyway, Tohma doesn't want to move into any of his other apartments without checking in with Mika-san first. And obviously he's not going to bother her with that just yet. So I told him he could stay here," Hiro finished casually, as if he had been talking about the whether.

"You told him what!" Shuichi snapped getting to his feet.

"You don't mind do you?"

"Yeah, I do!" Shu looked around making sure Seguchi was not coming, and leaned towards Hiro. "He's richer than rich. I'm sure he owns a hotel or two, and if he doesn't he can certainly afford to stay in one," Shu whispered angrily.

"He also owns this apartment," Hiro observed.

"I'm sure he's getting rent fees from our pay. Hiro he can't stay here!"

"Why not? I don't want him to stay at a hotel. He insisted on it, but I convinced him to stay here with me." Seeing Hiro's determined face made Shuichi realize how serious he was about their boss. He'd never seen his friend like this. Not even when Hiro swore Maiko was the future mother of his children.

"Oh sure, and Shindou-kun eats flies! You could have at least checked in with me." Shuichi's anger was dissipating quickly, how could he come between lovers?

"I'm checking in with you."

"I mean 'before' you offered."

"He won't bother you. He has tons of work to before we release, so he'll hardly even be here."

"You say that, but I bet he'll be here for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner's fuck. And that's on top of the nightly serenades," Shuichi protested.

"You have an over active imagination Shuichi!" Hiro arched a brow. "Anyhow, how does that affects you?" Shu hmphed loudly and looked the other way crossing his arms stubbornly, the battle already lost.

"I just wish you would have considered my feelings."

"I'm sorry, but when it comes to Tohma, it's like I'm not myself," Hiro apologized.

"Yeah, your small head takes over, I see."

"I just want to see if we're doing the right thing by being together… you understand right?"

"I guess." Shu turned back to face his friend, his anger already gone.

"He'll only be here for a little while. After the release, he'll have more time to look for a place."

"That's fine," Shuichi finally agreed nonchalantly, there was no point in arguing anymore. He couldn't say he blamed his friend, God knew he would do the same thing for some asshole he didn't even want to think about.

"Good morning." As if on cue, Seguchi Tohma made his grand entrance, dressed in Hiro's clothes. Shuichi almost spit the juice he had just drunk at the sight.

"What? Don't you think they suit me Shindou-kun?" He asked admiring himself.

"Yeah… if you were a foot taller," Shuichi replied trying not to laugh at the man who paid his bills.

"Anyway…" Hiro interrupted, "Shu is cool with you staying here, see? I told you."

Shuichi eyed his friend but said nothing. Hiro stood as Seguchi made his way to the table and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Shuichi instinctively looked the other way, blushing and feeling a little jealous at the familiarity the two men shared.

"Really Shindou–kun? I don't want to impose." Tohma brightened; Shuichi had to admit that when he was not in his business, super hotshot producer mode, the man was all right.

"It's no problem, but I will be moving across the hall," the singer stated, giving Hiro a pointed look. "And I know someone is gonna help me move my stuff." Seguchi's cheeks turned a lovely shade of red and Hiro smirked.

"Yes, of course we will help you!" Seguchi immediately replied.

"He meant me, dummy." Hiro knocked Tohma on the head affectionately, making Shuichi more jealous.

"He can help, he was making noise too," the singer added slyly.

"What? Did you have a glass against the wall or something? We weren't that loud…" Hiro remarked amusedly.

"Whatever." Shu ate some more of his toast and watched jealously as Hiro poured Seguchi his coffee and prepared it, knowing exactly how the blonde liked it. He had to admit that the two made a cute couple; so unlike each other, and yet so similar in many ways. He thought about Yuki and how he had wanted their relationship to be just like that, the one caring for the other. He knew now that those dreams would never come to pass.

Tohma noticed the singer's gloomy look all of a sudden and felt - as he had for the past week or so - anger towards his ex lover. When would he learn that others always got hurt because of his selfish actions? He himself had been so many times in the past, yet he always went back because he loved him and knew that Eiri felt the same for him, but was too stubborn to admit it or apologize. He could see something of himself in Shuichi, but the younger man was not as strong as he had been, and was just as stubborn as Eiri. If neither of the two knuckleheads swallowed their foolish pride and acted like the bigger man, what could be a perfect relationship would be over before it even started.

Although he couldn't really blame Shuichi, and Eiri would very much deserve if the hyper kid moved on for good. But…Tohma wanted Eiri to find the same happiness he had found with Hiro--even if most of the time he didn't seem to deserve it.

"So, what are you doing today Shuichi?" Hiro asked noting the heavy silence. Shuichi opened his mouth to respond, but was halted by the ring of his cell phone.

Shuichi looked at the ID and rolled his eyes when he saw who it was. "I swear I'm going to kick that jerk's ass one of these days!" he sighed answering nonetheless.

"Hello," he spat in annoyance.

"_Shuuuuu-kun!"_ The familiar voice of Ryuichi came full throttle. _"Are you mad at me Shu?"_

"Hey, what's up?" His whole face brightened. Hiro and Tohma looked at one another wondering who it was. "Of course I'm not mad at you, but how come you're calling from Tatsuha's phone, Ryu-kun?" Shuichi asked in a whole different tone from his initial one. The other two rolled their eyes and continued their breakfast.

"Sakuma Ryuichi and Uesugi Tatsuha together in the same room at this early hour? What's wrong with that picture?" Hiro murmured sarcastically into Tohma's ear, but loud enough for Shuichi to hear. The singer gave him a face, and turned around.

"I gave you my number Ryu; I even added it to your phone book," Shu continued, trying to imagine the current picture of the two at a hotel… naked, or at Ryu's place… _Damn even a sixteen year old jerk was getting it! Was everyone getting with someone but him? _

"_Who cares, Tatsu-kun dialed for me,"_ The air headed singer responded happily.

"I almost didn't pick up," Shuichi admitted.

"_Why? Tatsu-kun is super nice."_

"If you say so. Anyways… what's up? You're up early."

"_Yeah, I've had a great morning so far, Tatsu-kun and I…"  
_

"I'm sure Ryu-kun, but I don't want to hear what you were doing with pervert-san if you don't mind," Shuichi said as he frowned.

"What, what were they doing!" Hiro leaned on his elbows, pretending interest. Tohma laughed and hit him on the arm.

"_Who's that?"_ Ryuichi asked a little annoyed.

"Nobody… only Hiro and company." Shu eyed his friend frowning.

"_Ooh is Tohma-kun there too?"_ Ryu lightened up.

"Yeah, I get to see my boss in the comfort of my own home, too," Shu said boringly.

"Lucky you I let you feast your eyes on my beautiful angel!" Hiro snapped him on the head.

"Hiro!" Tohma blushed.

"_Can I talk to Tohma?"_ Ryu begged. Shuichi turned back around and gave the phone to his boss; who in turn took it uncertainly. And as soon as he did, Shuichi grabbed Hiro by the collar and shook him hard.

"Ryuichi?" Tohma asked, obviously knowing that it was his absent minded - but too smart for his own good - band mate

"_Tohma-chan! What are you doing at Shu's place? Eh! I'm so jealous! Is he naked, does his hair stick up in the morning… what's he wearing…?"_ The singer went on like a little boy, making - unbeknownst to him - a certain monk angry as hell.

"Ryuichi, calm down!" Tohma ordered sternly, making the other two turn to him. "It's not my place to comment on that," he continued.

"_You're no fun Tohma! I don't know how you get with such cool people like Yuki-sama when being such a sour puss._" Tohma frowned, remembering that his affair with Eiri was now public knowledge_. "Anyways, I'm here with Tatsu-kun and we did yummy things all morning…"_

"Ryuichi, I don't need to know what you were doing with him. You do know he is sixteen, right?" The producer asked seriously.

"_He sure doesn't act like it,"_ Ryu quipped. _"So what are you guys doing today?"_

"I don't know what they'll do, but I have to work," Tohma responded. "So, let me go Ryu, I have to get ready. I'll give you back Shuichi."

"What! You don't have to work today do you?" Hiro let go of Shuichi and turned to his lover. Tohma looked at him apologetically and nodded handing Shuichi back the phone.

"I do. You guys might be off, but this is where the fun starts for me."

"C'mon, I thought we'd go somewhere romantic and mushy today," Hiro whined like he'd seen Sakuma Ryuichi do.

"Please do not do that, Hiro-chan," The producer said, scared. Hiro pouted and gave him big puppy eyes, Sakuma style. All he needed was Kumagoro and he'd be set.

Tohma realized just then why he couldn't deny Ryuichi anything… it looked just too cute. He thought for a moment, then, bringing his fingers to hold the bridge of his nose conceded. "Fine, I guess I can take the day off."

"Yes!" Hiro exclaimed jumping off his chair and raising his arms. "I gotta take lessons from a certain somebody more often," he quipped.

"I'll dump you!" Tohma warned seriously.

"You two are disgusting," Shuichi remarked while watching the two as he closed his phone and set it down on the table.

"Yeah, you're one to talk. I'm sure if a certain mangaka was here you'd be acting worse than me." Hiro raised his brows.

"Hiro…" Tohma warned.

"Don't worry, Shu can take it like a man, ne Shu-chan?"

"What mangaka are you talking about… it's not that Murakami Maki wench right? 'Cause she fell from the ugly tree, plus, I don't read yaoi," Shuichi tried to joke, but it was very apparent that he was not amused. "Anyhow, Ryu and Tatsuha are going to a hot springs resort in Hokkaido, and Ryu wants us to come with."

Tohma eyed Hiro, ready to burst out laughing. He'd faster be caught dead than hanging out with those two. Hiro on the other hand seem to be considering it...

"Can we bring someone?" he asked. Tohma choked on his coffee and stared at his lover as he were an alien, but offered no protest.

"Who?" Shuichi squinted his eyes suspiciously.

"Suguru, you idiot," Hiro replied. Tohma understood why and smiled, squeezing his lover's hand, and loving him all the more.

"I guess…We can make it a Nittle Grasper/Bad Luck hot spring special!" Shu laughed. "Just like in anime!"

"Please don't invite Noriko," Tohma immediately asked.

"Why? Noriko-san is cool," Hiro protested.

"She is loud and obnoxious; you have not been out with her… I have," Tohma rationalized.

"Yeah…. She is annoying, and she's always picking on me," Shuichi added.

Well, on that I can't really blame her," Tohma agreed.

"You two wait 'till I tell her what you said," Hiro warned, glaring at the two.

"When did Fujisaki got here?" Shuichi looked about looking for the moody teen, and then eyed Hiro accusingly.

"Hey! We can ask Yuki-san if he wants to come!" Hiro exclaimed ignoring Shuichi's comment.

"Can it!" Shuichi threw a bagel at him and Tohma laughed when it hit his lover right on the face. "It's not funny anymore."

"Who said I was trying to be funny? And who said it's for you? I want to see him naked; I bet he has a big boner." Shuichi got to his feet and walked away.

"I'm going to get ready. Call Suguru if you want him to come." And he went to his room. Tohma grabbed the same bagel Shuichi had thrown, and threw it at Hiro hitting him hard.

"You're so insensitive! And to think I thought you were so cute for wanting to help Su-chan win Tatsuha's graces… you're the worst. Shindou-kun is your best friend!" Tohma accused.

"I know him, and I know how far I can push. Trust me, when you want to forget someone, the best thing to do is think of that person as much as possible."

"I didn't know you were a therapist," Tohma reproached still upset.

"It's also pay back from back when I used to like his sister and he'd rub it in every time she slept with someone." Tohma rolled his eyes.

"You guys are too weird for me," he said shaking his head.

Hiro stood. "Let's go take a long shower before we leave. Suguru better kiss my feet for the sacrifice I'm about to make for him." The longhaired man held out his hand to his lover.

"What aboutthe sacrifice_ I'm _about to make?" Tohma smirked.

"Ah, but I fully plan to make it up to you my love." Hiro bowed and met the eyes of the man who was holding his heart captive with a wide smirk.

"Well, if he doesn't kiss you feet, I will."

XXX

"How are you doing?" Mikka asked. Her friend had been sitting without even blinking for half an hour. "C'mon honey, you have to pull through." Seguchi Mika snapped her eyes to the younger woman resentfully. "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sure it's just like every other time. He'll be back soon enough."

"He won't… not this time," Mika murmured softening her gaze, remembering the determination in Tohma's eyes as he let her down that night.

"He will, I just know it. But even if he doesn't, you're young, beautiful, and rich. Men will fall at your feet." Again Mika hardened her gaze.

"The only man I want falling at my feet is somewhere with another man…a boy!" A tear slide down her face, and Mikka cursed herself for making her only friend cry.

"Mika-chan, please don't be like this. I don't want to leave knowing you're this miserable," Mikka pleaded. She had thought her friend would try to look unfazed like she always did when she and Tohma had a fight, but seeing her like this really broke her heart… _what the hell was he thinking!_ Shacking up with a man.

"Leave? Where are you going?" The older woman asked scared.

"I'm going away for a few days. I'll be back before the week is over." Mikka smiled reassuringly.

"By yourself?"

"With Eiri, we'll be going to Hokkaido." Mika watched her friend jealously. How ironic that her life was over because of her despicable brother. And the bastard was going on a nice little romantic trip. She blamed Eiri for Tohma's taste for men. If he hadn't pimped himself out to get his idiotic manga published, Tohma would have never strayed and would still be with her. The oldest Uesugi sibling contemplated telling her friend just who her 'perfect' little fiancé really was. If her life was to be over, so should his.

"I'll call you everyday. Eiri spoke to Tohma, and he said he'll call you too." To this Mika perked up.

"When did Eiri talk to him?"

"Yesterday, they had lunch together. Tohma is worried about you, he said he'll give you a few days to recover and he'll call to see if you need anything. See? He won't desert you." Mika's heart warmed… there was hope still. "Eiri is worried about you too," Mikka added lowly.

"Hmph," Mika replied turning her head the other way, "Feeling guilty you mean," she whispered to herself.

"I'm sorry? I didn't hear you."

"Nothing, you go ahead and have fun, hon. I'm sure you'll be super busy after your release," Mika took Mikka's hand and patted it affectionately. She had to admit that the younger woman has always been there for her.

In the beginning Mika couldn't always say she had cared for the younger woman. She had found her to be low class and clingy, but grew close to her, so that she could keep an eye on her relationship with Eiri. From there, little by little Mikka Costa had earned a place in the oldest Uesugi's heart.

Mika vowed to find a way to make Eiri pay without hurting her friend. His crime could not go unpunished. But first things first, before anything else, she would do anything and everything necessary to see that Hiroshi bastard pay dearly for taking her Tohma away from her… even if for a little while.

XXX

"I will be leaving town for a few days. I trust you can handle that Onizuka." Yuki pointed an accusing glare to his manager. Yuki knew very well the man was capable, and had done everything in his power to cope with the fact that he himself had almost neglected all his duties as the head and main artist in the company. But he was not about to praise him, or acknowledge that he appreciated his manager's efforts and loyalty.

"But Yuki-sama, where will you be going? Will I be able to contact you?" Onizuka wiped his forehead nervously, they had just gotten Yuki-sama back and he was already leaving them again. He only hoped that their moody boss didn't decide to make it another two months before he decided to come back.

"If it is absolutely necessary. But of course I'd rather you deal with anything that might arise on your own, before calling me." Yuki gave the man a look that told him he meant every word.

"Of course Yuki-sama, just knowing that you can be contacted gives me great peace of mind. I will do everything in my power to run things smoothly without having to bother you." The man bowed as he said the words.

"Good." Yuki nodded curtly and turned to the others present. "Now, let's talk about what I have planned for the next couple of months. I want full advertisement for 'Angel Sanctuary', starting right after we announce the end of 'Kenshin'. I want to assure everyone that we have something new to offer in its place." Nods of agreement all around met the mangaka. "I will take work with me, and I will be working in full on it. I should have two issues ready when I come back. Unlike Kenshin and Weiss and all my other works, with the exception of NeonGenesis, I know exactly how his one is going to end."

"When are you planning to release Yuki-sama?" Onizuka voiced the question in everybody's mind. As their boss kept talking about the new project, and even about ending Kenshin to work on it in full, his team had no choice but to wonder what exactly was behind it. What could be motivating their boss to make such a drastic change?

"Depends on how much I have done by the time Kenshin ends. I'm shooting for the same week, but who knows. This trip will set me back some." Yuki stopped before revealing any personal details. "I'll let you know for sure when I come back." Everyone nodded in agreement. Then the meeting turned into planning for the upcoming season and to review the offers from various animation companies for turning Yuki's works into anime.

That had been something that had never really interested him before, but now, he'd gladly take on any project just to keep himself occupied, and a certain singer out of his mind.

"…Well," Yuki announced getting to his feet after the long meeting came to an end, "I trust we're all on the same page. Onizuka, I'll be at my studio if you need me, but let's hope you don't." The manager bowed slightly, as did the rest. And the mangaka left hoping he could get enough done before Mikka began nagging him with the trip.

XXX

"Shuuu-kun!" Ryuichi ran to him as soon as he spotted him. Tatsuha stood by Ryu's limo wearing the expression of one who did not want to be there. Ryuichi wore a simple male grey kimono that made him look even younger. He stopped once he reached the younger singer, and instead of throwing himself on Shuichi as he always did, he bowed properly shocking them all. He did the same to each of them, smirking widely once he turned to Tohma.

"I see you still own that kimono Ryu-kun," the producer observed smiling as well. The older singer nodded giving him the thumbs up.

"Why, what's with the kimono?" Shuichi asked confused, to him it looked like a regular male kimono. Ryuichi smirked and turned, showing printed on the back of the grey tunic - a giant Kumagoro.

"Tohma-kun gave it to me for my twentieth birthday," Ryuichi beamed.

"It was for you thirtieth," the producer corrected rolling his eyes.

"Shhh Tohma! I don't want then to know that I'm old!" They all laughed and shook their heads collectively… all but Suguru.

"Hello Tatsuha." The teen took a few steps towards the monk.

"Hello," Tatsuha responded politely. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Hiro-kun invited me, is there a problem?"

"No, of course not, I mean the whole circus is here, one more clown won't make a difference."

"Glad to hear… speaking of clowns," the teen turned to Ryuichi, "Sakuma-san, your kimono is so cute, it looks great." Suguru smiled sarcastically.

"Do you think so too, Su-chan?" the man beamed, oblivious of the bad blood intended in the comment. "Ok, let's go to the Hot Springs!" he shouted and took Shuichi's arm. "Na no da!" he sang marching and dragging Shuichi towards the limo.

All of them eager were to get there for their own personal reasons.

XXX

**For those of you interested in Yu&Shu mega-super-angsty and childish interaction, refer to the Minna,minna, minna chapter for more. The rest of you go on reading… but you'll be missing some good stuff… really good, that may or may not affect the whole plot form here on out. **

XXX

The week went by in slow motion. Since coming back from Hokkaido, Shuichi went out of his mind, from denial to self-pity, then to rage. He decided that blocking the hellish trip out of his mind and devoting himself to his work was the sensible thing to do. Counting the hours until their album's release was the only thing keeping him sane now.

In fact, there had been quite the hype about it, just like Seguchi had predicted. And the beauty of it all was that they didn't even have to promote it in the past few weeks… just like Seguchi told them. He had to admit that the man was a real genius in what he did. Although, Shuichi would have been happier mingling with the crowds, doing autograph signings, radio interviews, maybe a TV show or two, and all that fun stuff. But he guessed their boss knew best. After all, he was the most successful producer in the whole nation.

Now as he sat alone on the balcony agonizing, trying to hold on for just one more day of this torture, waiting eagerly for it to end. He reflected on the past few hours, as there was nothing else he could do.

It consoled him that at least he wasn't the only one who felt this way. He had sat at home the previous night with Hiro and Suguru, completely stupefied while watching the official NG press conference held by their boss. In it, he confirmed the rumors of their collaboration with Nittle Grasper. Rumors he himself had told them to keep under wraps. Telling them that he would keep that as a little ace up his sleeves and would let fans find out once they came home with the album and listen to it, creating even a bigger buzz.

The fact that Seguchi had done the opposite worried Shuichi greatly_. Was Seguchi worried they wouldn't sell and that's why he felt the need to announce it? Or was he just quenching press curiosity? Or was there no reason at all? _Shu could pull every hair in his head trying to answer these questions to no avail. On top of that, Hiro had been equally surprised by the announcement, which meant Seguchi had not run it by him, and that scared him even more.

But… regardless of the reasoning behind it, there was a bigger problem to face. Now that the word was out, everyone was expecting greatness from the new comers who were the first to ever collaborate with the music industry's biggest titans. Granted, this would of course help boost Bad Luck's popularity a lot, but it also raised the bar on people's expectations of them. Shuichi had been worried about that all along, and now they had this great reputation NG had created for them to live up to… God, it was all too stressful for Shuichi to handle.And even though Seguchi reassured him of his talent, and Ryuichi swore to him that he was a lot better than when his idol started, to Shuichi it was not enough. Now, he was worried about selling anything at all. Would people buy because they wanted to listen to their music, or because they were the band that collaborated with Grasper?

Who cared about expectations anymore! Even if he was good—which he seriously doubted as of late—if the band didn't sell records, they would be dropped from the label like flies, thus adding another failure to his long list of.

All in all, with one more day to go until release, Shuichi could hardly breathe from the agony of it all.

Hiro seemed to be doing great in spite that everything could go totally wrong, which infuriated Shuichi. He seemed as if he could care less whether they bombed or not. At least, that's the impression he gave Shuichi. On top of that, he was hardly ever around anymore, following Seguchi around like a shadow. They didn't even seem like they were friends anymore… where had they strayed so far apart? Shuichi couldn't take it. There were so many things he wanted to talk about to his best friend and partner in crime, so many doubts. He felt as if he didn't even know Hiro anymore, and since they came back from Hokkaido they had hardly talked to one another.

Hmph… Hokkaido… he didn't even want to remember those awful two days. _"Best not to think about it,"_ he whispered to himself, but he couldn't help but to go back to that paradise that had been his hell on earth. _Just forget it… you were doing so great_! _Don't think abut it… don't think about him!_ The voice inside his mind whispered.

Hiro came in at that time, and he couldn't have been gladder for the intrusion. "Hey!" the guitarist greeted him as soon as he spotted him sitting out in the terrace.

"Who are you? Somebody… call the police there are strangers in my house!" Shuichi tried to joke, but he was just not in the mood.

"Very funny." Hiro smacked him on the shoulder, and sat on the chair next to him. "What are you doing out here? It's kind of cold."

"I have nothing to do really; I mean, I don't have a busy boyfriend to run after." Hiro got to his feet.

"If you're going to be like that, I got better things to do." His friend walked back in the apartment.

"No man. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit jumpy that's all, sit with me a while, we haven't talked in ages," Shu begged.

"A bit jumpy is understating it a bit; you've been a real bitch since the trip," Hiro asserted.

"Yeah well, that was not the most relaxing experience I've ever had. Anyway, let's not talk about that, ok? I was thinking about our release tomorrow, I mean, I thought I was ready, but the more I think about it the more I realize that nothing can prepare me for it," Shu sighed and stared ahead at the setting sun.

"I know exactly what you mean, but there no sense in stressing about it, just take it one step at a time." Hiro leaned back on his chair and took a deep breath of fresh air.

"I wonder sometimes if you even care if we fail or not?" Shuichi turned to him with serious expression on his face, Hiro looked at him for a few minutes then turned back to look at the view ahead.

"Why? Because I don't carry on like I'm about to lose my right arm? Listen Shuichi, when we decided to form the band we always strived for the top; we knew that we'd make it no matter what. At least that's the mentality I always had. Yes, it happened sooner than I thought, and not really in the circumstances I pictured, but it's here and I'm ready for it. If we make it, great, if not, we'll just dust ourselves off and try again. We proved that we could do it."

"But don't you wonder sometimes, were we scouted because of our talent, or because Seguchi had the hots for you?"

"It doesn't really matter anymore, does it? We are here now, and we are about to debut, that's all it matters. It might have been true that Tohma had ulterior motives, but ultimately the outcome will depend on our talent alone."

"You make it sound so easy…" Shu sighed.

"And you make it harder than it has to be. Just relax and enjoy the ride."

"Ride? More like a roller coaster if you ask me."

"Well, then look at it this way. You've already rode the way up; all you need to do now is brace yourself for the way down."

"Which is the scariest!"

"But you know it will be over soon." Hiro's phone rang; he quickly answered it and listened for a few moments. "Tomorrow? What about you guys, are you planning to play with Grasper at all?" Shuichi tried to make out the conversation. Hiro listened a little while longer, and then started laughing like a kid. Shuichi could kick him on the balls. Here he was stressing, and Hiro had the gall to talk to Seguchi about God knows what and not even tell him not to worry. Hiro hanged up and turned to him.

"We have a gig tomorrow… on TBS," Hiro announced.

"Tokyo Broadcasting Station?" Shu yelled. "What show?" Shuichi jumped off his chair, apparently forgetting his angst for the moment.

"Tohma didn't say, he just told me to be at the station by four in the afternoon."

"On the day of release… not too shabby eh?" Shu smirked. "So, how about them, are they promoting?"

"He doesn't want to, but knows it's unavoidable, so he'll stall for as long as he can."

"Damn! Must be nice being a music god. Although, knowing Ryu, I doubt he'll hold out without performing for too long."

"I know." Hiro got up and stretched, "Well, I'm taking off now, I'll see you later."

"Where are you going? It's already late." For some reason, Shuichi did not feel like being alone.

"I'm going to have dinner with Tohma, you wanna come with?" Hiro asked sarcastically.

"Jerk!" Shu took a cushion and threw it at him.

"No, really, do you want to come? Then after dinner, you can stand outside our room and listen to us do it." Hiro threw the cushion back to Shu.

"Like I don't hear you guys regardless."

"Nah, man! Don't even try, I don't care what you say, I'm not letting you watch." Hiro pretended not to hear.

"Eww! Get out before I kick your ass!" Shuichi threw the cushion again. Hiro caught it and bowed.

"Thank you Shindou-sama." And his friend was gone, leaving him alone once again.

XXX

"Alright, it's my turn!" Ryuichi threw the dice and jumped in joy when he got a high number. Tatsuha sat quietly on the floor staring at his god, still aching from the overwhelming love he felt towards the older man - and still hurt from what happened at the Hot Springs.

After he came back alone, Tatsuha swore to himself never to see Ryuichi again. He thought they had made great progress, seeing how Ryu told him a part of his life he must have not talked about it years, but no, of course the music icon was still after Shuichi like a moth to the flame, and he made that very clear in Hokkaido. Tatsuha knew what he had gotten into, and swore that he would not let it discourage him, but in the end, all plans sounded better on paper.

Then, the very next day Ryuichi had called him and asked him to meet, as if nothing had happened, and he, the stupid little monk, just obeyed like the little puppy dog he was… it all confused the hell out of him.

Ryu moved his piece on the game board and did a little pre-victory dance when he got two spaces away from the finish. Tatsuha took the dice and blew them in his hand for good luck without taking his cold eyes from the man.

"You look scary, Tatsu-kun!" Ryuichi whined sitting still for the first time in the last hour.

"I don't know what you're celebrating for. It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings." Tatsuha ignored Ryu's ranting and threw the dice getting the right number he needed, then got up and did a victory dance of his own.

"No fair, you're cheating! You got to be, how come you're winning in all the games we play?" Ryu snapped angrily. Tatsuha had never heard such a tone from him, well kind of; he had sounded pretty upset back in Hokkaido. But instead of upsetting him, it actually made the monk feel good that he could elicit anger from the man who apparently didn't know the meaning of the word.

"That's what all losers say," Tatsuha provoked, exaggerating his dance all the more. Ryuichi turned the board forcefully, scattering all the pieces across the floor. "You know the losing party has to put away the board," Tatsuha continued in his little tone, enjoying the face of pure rage from the older man.

"This is my house and I do what I want!" Ryu snapped getting to his feet and throwing himself on the couch. "You're no fun anymore, Uesugi Tatsuha." The teen stopped dancing and stood facing his-- Tatsuha still had no definition to what they were. He realized that the man had never called him by his full name before, and that he must be really upset. Although the way he was feeling now, he didn't really mind, in fact he was enjoying it. He had to put some distance between them, before he angered Ryuichi beyond salvage, and before he himself got frustrated to the point of wanting to do just that.

Tatsuha walked to the chair he had thrown his school jacket and slowly put it on. Remembering with a small smile, how Ryuichi had gone wild when seeing him in his school uniform for the first time. The monk made his way to the door slowly and stood by it waiting for Ryuichi to say something. He didn't, and Tatsuha realized with a little stab of pain, that his 'lover' just didn't care.

Ryu's cell phone rang, Tatsuha stayed put by the open door to see who it was. Another tug invaded him when Ryuichi stood and turned to face him with his whole face lit like a Christmas tree.

"Shuuuu-kun!" The singer yelped excitedly. "I was just thinking about you, I want to see you so badly…" Tatsuha didn't need to hear the rest; he made his way out of the apartment closing the door softly as to not disturb the one inside.

X

Ryuichi stared at the closed door for a full minute; Shuichi's words were but an unintelligible sound at that moment. He wanted to hear them, to see the young singer he'd been obsessing about for months, but in the back of his mind was Tatsuha and the angry expression he had as he left… just like that time in Hokkaido. He grabbed Kumagoro from where he sat on the couch and threw it forcefully to the door ahead.

"Tatsuha no baka!" he yelled, wishing he had not gotten angry at the precocious teen. He didn't care about the stupid game; he had been upset at himself because little by little he was beginning to fall for the young monk. He had promised himself never to fall in love again, just to have fun, but oh was he falling for the black haired beauty with the deep penetrating onyx eyes.

In Hokkaido, he had decided never to see the teen again, but when he left him all alone, Ryuichi felt as he did when Yoshi left him all over again. So, he came back and begged Tatsuha to come see him, but things from there had just gone down the tubes.

"What did that jerk do?" he heard Shuichi ask in the distance. Ryuichi pushed Tatsuha's thoughts aside and put on a big fake smile that no one could see.

"Oh, nothing to worry about. I can't believe you're calling me, I've been thinking about you all day. Are you ready for the big day tomorrow?" Ryuichi asked in his fake happy-go-lucky monotone, in fact, and this baffled him--because he had wanted Shuichi to call him for the longest time—he was in no mood to talk to him. He wanted to call Tatsuha and make sure the monk was not too mad.

"Yeah, kind of… I mean… not really, that's why I called; you must think I'm a jerk. I only call you when I need something," Shuichi let out on the other end.

"Hey, what are friends for? I'm glad you called. I know exactly how you feel. I can still remember when our first album came out. I was scared shitless, even though I swore I didn't care how we did." Ryu walked over to the door and picked up his best friend from where it'd fallen. He took it and went to sit on the same sofa he and Tatsuha had sex on a regular basis… _Tatsuha._

"Do you want to meet somewhere?" Shuichi asked sounding desperate almost.

_This is it!_ thought Ryuichi, his golden opportunity, what better time than now to prey on the slender beautiful boy with the voice of angels.

"Sure," he found himself replying. Tatsuha's expression was still vivid in his mind, but he was not going to let the kid carve himself any deeper than he already had. He decided at that moment not to see the monk… again… for both their sakes. "Where should we meet? I know this great Karaoke bar Tatsu and I went to the other day."

"Singing Machine?" Shu asked not surprised to hear that Uesugi Tatsuha, Sir-assholness, took Ryuichi there.

"How do you know!"

"I had a hunch," Shu laughed.

"Cool, so I'll meet you there in an hour." Ryu hung the phone and made his way to his room, already knowing what he was going to wear. He wanted to look extra special for his new 'special' someone to be. "Na no da…" he sang all the way to the shower, determined not to let Tatsuha's 'ugly' face ruin his night with Shu.

XXX

Shuichi was already sitting with a drink when Ryuichi arrived. The younger singer waved, immediately recognizing him in his 'guise'. "Hey, over here!" Shuichi shouted and Ryu smiled, waving back and making his way to the table.

"Hey… you!" He came down to whisper in Shu's ear. "What's your name?"

"My name?" Shu asked, and then laughed aloud, "Oh… my name! Yuki." The name came out on its own, he swore not to think about the bastard, but he would simply not leave him alone.

"Cool name. I'm Tatsu-kun." Ryuichi smiled.

"Why am I not surprised, in fact I'm shocked he's not here tailing you." The younger singer smirked; he had actually expected the teen to come as well.

"We broke it off," Ryuichi stated coldly, signaling the waiter. Shuichi didn't expect to hear that anytime soon, if ever. They had seemed to have the perfect understanding; he wondered what happened between the two.

"What happened?" Shuichi wouldn't help but to ask.

"I don't want to talk about it," the older man warned seriously, and then he broke into a wide grin as he came closer to the younger man. "Let's sing. It's just you and me tonight… and I will not take no for an answer." Shuichi had some of his drink, and raised his glass in a toss to give up being a victim and begin to live his life to its fullest.

"And that's an answer I do not intend to give," he declared raising his cup.

XXX

Tatsuha came into the dark apartment. He wasn't sure whether Mika was there or if she was hiding from reality; he didn't care either way, although he could use someone to antagonize. The way he was feeling right now, he either had to fuck someone or just make someone really mad. He wandered through the place looking for his sister, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Hmph…That was a long grief," the teen sighed, assuming she was with some random man. The monk went to his room and sat at his desk, taking his homework from his bag. He intended to have a Ryuichi-thoughts-free evening. But so far he was not being very successful.

He sighed, letting the bag fall to the floor and leaning back on his chair to stare at the ceiling fan. The worst part of it all was that he had known all along the type of relationship he and Ryuichi shared. Now the god was upset with him and possibly would not see him ever again, and that was something he didn't even want to think about. If Ryuichi decided not to see him anymore he would positively die. Tatsuha leaned back on his chair further and closed his eyes. He would call tomorrow and beg if need be. He would kneel and say he was sorry, whatever it took to get in Ryuichi's graces again.

After for what it seemed like forever, Tatsuha got up and threw himself on his bed. He didn't have to pretend anymore; there was no one watching him, no one expecting him to be strong. Images of his god flooded his mind and all his frustrations and fears came down on him. The tears began pouring and he couldn't stop them

"Please don't sleep with him Ryu-chan…" the teen whispered, closing his eyes, and falling into the dark abyss of his own loneliness.

XXX

Shuichi was not having as great a time as he thought he would. He had not felt like being alone, but right now that's exactly what he wanted to be. Ryuichi was singing a popular song that he hated and he couldn't wait for to end, even in the godly voice of Ryuichi, it just wasn't reaching out to him… then again ALL songs weren't reaching out to him tonight.

The two drank and sang for hours and not much else. It seemed as if there was nothing else for them to do. Ryu was not in his usually talkative mood, and all he wanted to do was sing to avoid talking altogether. It was just as well for Shuichi, he had lost all desire to talk to the man as well. He wasn't sure how he was going to keep good on his promise, but knew he had to. He had to move on with his life once and for all, and stop being such a martyr. He could not understand for the life of him what the hell wrong with him. Why couldn't he just forget Yuki ever happened and get on with someone else… who the hell was he saving himself for anyway? Here was Ryuichi ready to be with him, and he was hesitating because of a petty one-night stand; even though Yuki had clearly shown him in Hokkaido exactly how much he cared for him.

"You alright?" Ryu asked. Shuichi had not even realized the song was over.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Shu drank some of his liquor and smiled, feigning excitement. Ryuichi gave him a long look and sat down having of his own hard drink.

"You're drunk… and so am I, let's go somewhere." The older man stood dropping a wad of bills on their table and walking away. He was acting strange; he seemed mad even, Shuichi thought worriedly. Maybe his idol realized that he didn't want to be here and was not too sure whether starting a romantic relationship was the right thing to do. Shu hoped Ryu wasn't angry.

They wound up at a nearby hotel. The two walked into the room like robots programmed to follow certain commands. Ryuichi walked to the window and looked at the sparkly city below, he seemed as unsure as Shuichi did.

"I can't get enough of this view, look how it all sparkles." He turned to Shuichi and fixed his eyes on him, making him gulp.

_This is it_… Shu thought scared, _it's now or never. _Ryuichi came to the bed and sat on it, patting next to him for Shu to sit-- much like he had in Hokkaido. The singer did so and the two stared at each other not knowing what to do next… deja vu.

Ryuichi's face came close to his and grazed his lips lightly with his own. Shuichi didn't move an inch; he was finding it harder to breathe by the second. He knew this would happen, he'd willed it... wanted it—or so he had thought earlier-- but now that he was facing the one he thought could make him forget Yuki, he realized that it was a big lie. Ryuichi didn't deserve this, he'd been so nice to him, so supportive, and gave him the one thing many people would kill for… allowing him to sing with him.

He sighed and closed his eyes preparing himself mentally for the next few seconds… _this is it…_ he could either push his friend away, or let him believe that they might have a shot. Both choices would have their consequences, and Shuichi was not sure whether he was ready to face them. He needed to be a man about it once and for all.

"Aren't we gonna kiss?" Ryuichi whispered not very convinced himself. In fact, Shuichi had noticed, the absent minded singer seemed distant, and kept on looking toward the entrance at the club at the bar every so often.

"Yeah… I guess." Shuichi smiled uneasily, and before he could get ready mentally for it. Ryuichi's lips descended on his own. He replied in full, and then the older man put his arms around him and held him tight. He did the same, and they kissed. But even though it was a passionate attempt, it felt wrong. As if he were kissing … a brother.

"I can't." Ryuichi pushed him somewhat roughly and got to his feet. "I'm sorry Shu, I want to, I really do, but…"

"But you are really hung up on Tatsuha," Shuichi completed the sentence, actually glad that his idol felt the same way as he.

"I like you, I really do, but I… I don't even know when I fell for the kid." He ran a hand through his messy hair. Shuichi marveled the fact that for the very first time Sakuma Ryuichi sounded like an adult. He liked this side of him, although he liked the Kumagoro wielding kid at heart a lot more. Shuichi was also glad to see that Ryu had feelings for the teen that cared about him so much—even though he was a jerk who didn't really deserved it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shu smiled warmly.

"You're not mad at me are you Shuichi?" Ryuichi sat down and took his shoulders.

"Why would I? Now that we got this out of the way, we can truly be friends." Ryuichi smiled so broadly and beautifully that Shu almost felt sorry to have let the chance go by… _almost._

"That baka didn't come after me!" Ryu whined sounding like his usual self. "I swore he'd come for me!"

"Would you have left me hanging like that?" Shuichi hit the singer on the arm.

"Of course! It's not like you wanted to be there either, I can tell you were miles away when we kissed… Shu-kun, are you still in love with Yuki-sama?" Shu was shocked to hear that from him.

"How do you…"

"Hey, I might not look like it, but I'm actually pretty smart. I can tell you two are into each other, it was pretty obvious actually." Ryu smirked.

"He hates me," Shu let out, he did not want to talk about this with Ryu.

"You _are_ dense. The man couldn't take his eyes off you at the springs, and he would not have bothered to make such a scene with Mikka had he not cared you were there. You two need to get over yourselves and get back together." Shuichi was taken aback. To hear that from Ryuichi was the last thing he'd ever expected to happen.

"What about you?" Shuichi defended. "You and Tatsuha fought, and I bet it was something really stupid."

"It was, and tomorrow I'm going to his school and beg him to take me back."

"Well is not as simple between Yuki and I. He dumped me without a reason. I shouldn't have to apologize; I didn't do anything to begin with. If he wants me like you all say, he should be the one to come to me."

"Think that way and you'll die alone," Ryuichi admonished.

"I'm not liking the grown up you… here's Kumagoro." Shuichi grabbed the bunny from where it had lay forgotten, and handed it to the singer, "Now go back to be five." Ryuichi took the bunny and hit the younger man with it.

"Shuuuu-kun! Get over yourself and go talk to Yuki-sama," he whined like a little boy, earning a sarcastic glare from Shu. "Let me take you home. It's late and tomorrow is your big day; you want to be wide awake for it… trust me." Ryuichi got to his feet and went to the door.

"Ryuichi," the singer turned, "thank you for being my friend." The older man smiled giving him the thumbs up.

XXX

A/N: OMG what a trip! (if you didn't read it I guess you won't know what I mean hehe) I tell you things go from bad to worst for Shu ne? Anywho at least Yuki is suffering too I'm so glad Ryu is not on Shu's throat anymore, I think Tatsu suit him better, but wait… will he forgive him? You know how prideful that little monk can be… had to be Yuki's brother!

I have to tell you guys that I'm on my way down the hill now. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, a few more chapters and it all be good… so have faith in me.

Next Stop: **Shinning Collection**. YES! Finally the day of the big release is here! How will destiny treat our boys? Will they bomb? Will they Break Through? You will have to stay tuned to find out (no, it will not be another three months for this one)


	23. Minna,minna,minna

**Alternative Chapter: Minna, minna, minna (The Hot Springs Chapter)**

"Correct me if I'm wrong Sakuma-san," Suguru began, fixing his gaze on the hyper singer sitting opposite him- on Tatsuha's lap- "I thought you liked Shindou-san." The said individual shifted his eyes from looking out the window, and set them on the annoyed teen—every time Suguru was mad he called everyone by their last name, which was almost all the time—Shuichi had not said anything or bothered anyone since they began the two hour drive to Hokkaido, and yet, he still got mixed into their quarrels.

"Of course I like Shu, but Tatsu-kun is good in bed, so I like him too." Ryuichi replied casually. Suguru turned his sour glare to Tatsuha, who just smirked and winked evilly.

"Ryuichi, I most certainly do not want to hear about my sixteen year old brother-in-law's bed habits." Tohma cut in before his cousin and the loose-tongued singer could go any further with this conversation.

"Seventeen, and ex-brother in law, remember you dumped my sister for guitar boy there," Tatsuha corrected matter-of-factly, pointing at Hiro with his chin, and giving the producer a snide look. Neither Tohma nor Hiro bothered to reply.

"Being so promiscuous ought to be illegal," Suguru grumbled under his breath after a very uncomfortable pause.

"Why?" Ryuichi looked at the teen confused, "You ought to try it Su-chan, maybe you'll stop being so mad all the time." The singer said innocently, Tatsuha began laughing hard, almost dropping Ryu off of him. Shuichi rolled his eyes, and Tohma gave Tatsuha a stern look. Hiro gave Suguru a little squeeze on the shoulder to keep him from replying to Ryuichi's innocent comment.

"You know what Sakuma-san? You might be right." The teen ignored Hiro's warning and surprised them all with his seemingly good-natured reply. He paused, measuring whether his next words to the biggest star Japan has ever seen would impact Bad Luck in any way. And after some consideration, his desire to insult the man, to see his happy face hurt, won over all else, "I should become a spineless whore. I mean, since it seems to work so well for you two, it might really be worth trying… thank you for the good advice Sakuma-san." Suguru bowed lowly. Tatsuha stopped snickering, and Ryuichi just looked straight ahead for a few moments, analyzing Suguru's words it seemed. After a couple of minutes of uncomfortable silence, Ryuichi put his arms around Tatsuha's neck and got so close to the teen's lips, it looked as if they would kiss.

"Am I a spineless whore Tatsu-kun?" The singer pouted, almost about to cry.

"Of course not Ryu-chan. He's just jealous because we all love you so much." Ryu smiled and then threw himself back falling right on Shuichi's lap.

"Do you luuuv me Shuuuu-chan?"

"Of course I love you Ryu," Shuichi replied immediately, eying Suguru reproachingly. He could not believe the moody brat had actually had the guts to say that aloud—he had to give him credit for it; he himself would have never had the spine.

"Oh please!" Suguru rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Suguru! stop." Tohma warned sternly. Suguru eyed him with hurt filled eyes, and then turned toward the window without another word.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Ryuichi sang all the way, and not before long, they were all trying to keep up with the gifted man-- all but Suguru.

Once there, Shuichi was immensely glad he'd come. Having been busy all of his life trying to 'break through' in the music business, and his worshiping of Yuki had led him to miss out on all the things he could have enjoyed outside of Tokyo. Of course, save for the break Hiro and he got from Seguchi, he truly regretted it now. He couldn't believe how clean and fresh the air felt in this splendid place, or how spacious and green it all looked.

"Amazing isn't it?" Ryuichi husked lowly into his ear.

"Yeah…" Shuichi replied too in awe to be freaked out by the older singer.

"As beautiful as you," The singer got even closer to Shuichi, his lips grazing his ear with each word Ryuichi uttered. Shuichi took a step to get some distance between them and turned his eyes to the idol who was smirking mischievously "Wait 'till you see the forest behind the resort." Ryu quipped sounding once more like his childish self. "It's great to play hide and seek, but let me warn you, I'm really good at it." Shu turned looked at him puzzled. Hard as he tried, he could never understand what went on Ryuichi's head half the time.

"I made reservations 'till Monday," K came to stand next to Ryu and announced to the group. He had been surprised when Ryuichi called him to have him bring them here. It had been such a long time since he last came… ever since he and Yoshi broke up some six years before to be exact. This used to be one of their favorite 'hiding from it all' spots, but after the break up, Ryu had sworn never to set foot here again. K was glad his charge was beginning to let go of the past, even though he'd prefer it not to be with neither of the two he was after, but hey! If it made Ryuichi happy, he was all for it.

A few attendants came to get their luggage.

"I'm going back tonight," Tohma announced, "You can stay if you like Hiro. This place is amazing at night." The producer put his arms around Hiro's shoulders. He was acting more and more out of character these days. Everyone noticed, but no one dared commenting on it. Those who knew him well for one, were glad that he seemed so happy, and those who weren't glad, simply didn't care.

"I'll take you Tohma, I was going back right now and come back Monday for you all, but I can wait for you 'til tonight, I could sure use a soak as well." K offered, Tohma was not his top choice to be in a car with for two hours with, but it was better than to go alone.

"I think I'll take you on your offer, thank you K." Tohma smiled grateful.

Tatsuha couldn't believe the nerve of his brother in law; _you're fucking to old for this shit!_ The teen thought as he eyed him smooching with the longhaired guitar player not three feet form where he stood. Although he didn't care either way, he still wished he didn't have to see it. Although in the end it was all better if his annoying guardian was too busy being all mushy with guitar boy to notice what he had in his agenda. Tatsuha had thought about telling Mika as soon as he got home, but then again, she might already know who her 'man' was with, so decided he didn't have the time to worry about such pettiness. If she didn't know, let Mika realize on her own what her man was up to… or up whom. The monk turned to Ryuichi getting even more upset upon seeing him whispering something into Shuichi's ear.

If you go I'll go too, I don't want to stay here by myself," Hiro whispered loud enough for only Tohma to hear.

"You'll regret it." The blonde producer whispered back.

"You two are disgusting!" Shuichi rolled his eyes and made his way into the enormous, temple like resort.

"My thoughts exactly," Tatsuha muttered and took Ryuichi's arm guiding him inside as well. Hiro shrugged and Tohma grinned, knowing exactly what the source of Shuichi's angry comment was.

They all had separate rooms except for Tohma and Hiro who got to share- obviously. Tatsuha was upset to find that he would not be staying with Ryuichi, especially after witnessing Ryu's advances towards Shu out at the entrance and in the car, right in front of everyone no less, he didn't make a big deal about as infuriating as it was. He figured he'd have plenty of time to get the godly singer alone.

"Eh, your grandfather doesn't think you're worthy anymore?" Suguru commented smirking at the clearly upset monk. Tatsuha shifted his eyes to him, but said nothing. He took his key from the attendant and marched towards his room to change. Suguru stared after him surprised that Tatsuha didn't retort with some snotty remark or made fun of him. The monk didn't seem like himself at all anymore… was he really that hung on Sakuma Ryuichi? Suguru felt bad, because obviously the man was not serious at all about him, but he couldn't really feel sorry either, since he was in the same boat with the tall, beautiful black-haired monk. He just wished Tatsuha would open his eyes to reality and realize that the idol was only using him as a temporary fix.

…And so, they all went to their respective rooms to change, rest, and prepare for the fun afternoon ahead

X

A feast was prepared for them… Hokkaido style! There was meat, seafood galore, and everything from raw vegetables to steamed seaweed. Everyone wore matching robes, except for Ryuichi of course who wore a matching robe to the kimono he had on earlier.

The singer busied himself eating everything in sight much to everyone's amazement. Kumagoro sat on the table, leaning against a sake pitcher.

"Where do you put all that food, you're so thin Ryu-kun." Shuichi laughed, Ryuichi gave him a big smile as he pointed at his private parts.

"Oh Gwad!" Suguru rolled his eyes at the man. Hiro almost choked on his food as he let out a laugh and Tohma patted his lover's back to keep him from choking. Tatsuha kept on eating as if nothing was said.

"After we eat, let's Karaoke!" The singer chanted happily, mouth full, and holding a shrimp kebob.

"Is that all you know how to play Ryu-kun?" Shuichi laughed again, liking the idea very much. No matter how many times he heard it, he could never get enough of his idol's voice.

"No is not," Ryuichi replied looking directly into his eyes, that predatory glint not at all lost to Shuichi… or Tatsuha, "But it is my favorite game… after foreplay of course." Shuichi gulped and Tatsuha slammed his teacup on the table, grabbing a piece of meat from the nearest plate and eating it quietly, a little vein popping out of his forehead.

"I can't sing," Hiro stated raising his hand dutifully to lighten things up, he'd noticed the mood thickening.

"Neither can I." Tohma followed suit.

"Oh hush, you sing better than me!" Ryuichi slapped his band member on the back.

"He doesn't mean that," Tohma waived his hand blushing like a girl.

"I didn't know you could sing onisan… I can still call you that I presume?" Tatsuha asked merrily, In spite of having to spend the night alone and witnessing Ryuichi's blatant flirtations with Shuichi, he was determined to have a good time, even if only for show.

"Yes you may, and don't believe a word he say." The producer blushed again.

"Oh it's true! I've heard him, he used to play the piano and sing our songs when he wrote them." Ryu yelped excitedly.

"You lie!" Hiro perked, very much wanting to hear his lover's singing voice. God knew he could not get enough of Tohma's moans and the sensual sounds he made when they made love, just the thought of hearing him sing gave the long-haired man a hard on.

"No I'm not! Ask Noriko-chan." Ryu exclaimed. "I saw a piano in the other room, let's have him do it!"

"Wait a minute now!" Tohma interrupted tensely.

"I wanna see it too!" Tatsuha exclaimed, sounding very much like the seventeen year old that he was.

"I've heard him too, he** _is_** really good," Suguru added to the mix, forgetting to be sarcastic for the first time all afternoon.

"I'm not, I mean I haven't done it in a while… please don't make me do this, Hiro don't let them do this to me!" Tohma begged, trying to make himself be heard above all those shrieking, but it was useless, his fate had already been sealed.

"Aright! It's decided then. After our meal we're all going to the piano room to hear Tohma-chan sing!" Ryuichi stood and yelled exited.

"Yeah!" The rest added in unison. And even though Shuichi was a bit disappointed that it wouldn't be Ryu, he did want to hear his boss in action as well.

XXX

After the two-hour drive, and the passionate all-afternoon lovemaking, Yuki and Mikka were famished. Yuki actually couldn't wait to soak himself in the healing springs, he felt relaxed for the first time in years, and Mikka's company was not half as bad as he'd thought.

They took a private open dinning room overlooking the beautiful lake in the middle of the forest beyond the building. They ordered a lot more that they could eat, and a bit too much to drink—not that anyone was keeping scores.

"God… I almost forgot what this place looked like." Mikka sighed contently, filling her lungs with the fresh, clean air.

"Me too," Yuki replied groggily, feeling light headed for the first time in ages. If this went on like this all weekend, there was no hope of him doing any drawing at all, but at the moment, he didn't care. There was laughter coming from one of the other rooms, making the pop diva turn towards it annoyingly.

"I wish they would simmer down, there are other guests here you know?" She criticized annoyingly.

"We were told there was a large party, besides, people come here to have a good time." Yuki reminded her, feeling too relaxed to care.

"But they are so noisy."

"Don't pay them any mind Mikka-chan; I'm starting to feel left out." Yuki leaned close to her, and whispered in her ear. She smiled sensually and kissed his forehead, then frowned when the loud laughter came once more. Yuki sat back and looked out to the trees beyond, he was actually getting annoyed at her for being so childish "What are you going to do after dinner?" He asked seriously, changing the subject.

"Aren't' we going to take a walk in the moonlight?" She asked as if it were obvious.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to the springs." Yuki said drinking some tea. "Since I'm here I might as well soak, ne?

"I guess I'll do the same then, I just hope there are no women in that group that might be using the springs. I'd hate to be surrounded by low class wenches" Yuki smirked, trying to picture Mikka in that very situation.

"Let's hope not, I'd feel bad for them." He replied getting up without finishing his food, "I'm going to take a nap, wake me up at around eight." He kissed her forehead and headed to their room.

XXX

"Wow Tohma that was… amazing!" Hiro hugged his lover so tightly, lifting him off the ground and swinging him from side to side as he did so. Everyone else applauded agreeing one hundred percent, "Who made Sakuma-san the lead singer?" Hiro joked.

"Hey!" Ryu pouted, "I can play guitar, should I leave Grasper and join Bad Luck?" he threatened in mock defense.

"No thank you, I don't think the world is ready for two air heads in the same band." Suguru replied eyeing Shuichi snidely.

"I think we'd be a hit… ne Shu? Ryuichi threw his arms around Shuichi's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'd have to agree with Su-chan on this one," Tatsuha added tightly, taking Ryuichi by the shoulders and gently guiding him away from the younger singer.

"Where are you taking Ryuichi?" Shuichi asked not wanting the life of the party to leave.

"To the hot springs, didn't we come to soak?" The monk winked and went his way, guiding Ryuichi with him.

"I'm going too." Suguru seconded, heading in the same direction. Tatsuha glared but said nothing to stop him.

"Me too!" Shuichi followed. "I've never been in a hot spring!" Tatsuha shifted his eyes from Suguru to Shuichi and rolled his eyes defeated… he would not get to be with Ryu alone any time soon.

"Go on Hiro, I have to get ready to go back." Tohma urged his lover with a tender kiss and a little push towards the door.

"I'm going back with you." Hiro insisted.

"I will not have it; you'll stay and enjoy this break, for it may be the last one you'll get in a while. I'll see you tomorrow night." Tohma insisted.

"I came to have fun with you," Hiro whispered in his lover's ear. "If you're not here, there's nothing for me to do." Tohma smiled, understanding exactly what Hiro meant.

"What, you two are not coming? It'll be fun!" Ryuichi yelled, popping his head through the door.

"C'mon man, you've never been in a hot spring either." Shuichi called popping his head right bellow Ryuichi's, and then Kumagoro's pink head dutifully made its appearance above Ryuichi's head.

"Nah, I'm going back, but you have fun Shu, I'll see you tomorrow." Hiro responded.

"You two are pansies!" Ryuichi whined throwing Kumagoro at Tohma, who caught it easily.

"I guess we can go in an hour or so." Tohma finally conceded; he'll have to put on a lot of overtime to be ready to release on time, but so be it, he'll deal with it. Somehow it didn't matter as it used to, just to see Hiro happy made it all worthwhile. Ryu and Shu gave the lovers the thumbs up, and came to push them all way to the hot bath.

X

"Kyaa, this is the life!" Ryuichi let out satisfied, leaning against a stone—Kumagoro sat safely behind him in a plastic bag. Tatsuha sat right next to him, waiting for his chance to feel under the singer's towel. Suguru sat not too far from them, and Shuichi sat on the other side of Ryuichi—pretty much in the same relaxed position he was, leaning back and staring up to the stars. Hiro sat directly opposite from them, with Tohma sitting between his legs leaning against his chest

"Now we know who the wife in that relationship is." Tatsuha whispered to Ryuichi eying the two jealously.

"Was there ever a doubt?" Ryu whispered back giggling.

"Hey! Shut it you two," Shu snapped smirking as well.

"What time is it?" Tohma asked as if on cue, oblivious to the whispers on the other side of the bath.

"Eight fifteen," Suguru replied dryly.

"We'll leave at nine." The producer turned to Hiro and gave him a small peck on the lips, then back to lean against him. Hiro nodded and leaned back a bit more, lacing his arms around Tohma's shoulders bringing him down with him.

"Hey! not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but I rather not see your X rated show… I'm not old enough." Tatsuha let out naughtily. Neither of the two seemed to hear him or care.

Ryuichi got to his feet, a little too fast, almost falling on Shuichi who eyed him suspiciously while holding his arms out to catch him.

"Sorry Shu," The singer smirked.

"Please don't say you want to sing Sakuma-san," Suguru grouched rolling his eyes, but before the singer could reply, Shuichi got to his feet—almost falling from dizziness as well— and putting his hands on his hips, he turned to the younger boy.

"I do!"

"Hot Springs are to relax, not sing," Suguru reasoned as grouchily as before.

"Me first!" Shuichi barked excitedly ignoring Suguru, almost falling again--too dizzy from all the sake he had, and the hot healing waters. Climbing to a random stone, he put his hand on his chest and announced solemnly, "My first piece will be…"

"First piece? Is there going to be more than one?" Suguru whined.

"Hush, you will hear it and like it!" The singer snapped sternly, "As I was saying, my first piece will be _Sleeping Beauty_!"

"Yay!" Ryuichi jumped and began mimicking the popular tune's intro. Shuichi began singing in his best Sakuma Ryuichi voice, and the two lightheaded singers began dancing as they sang the chorus together.

Shuichi noticed Suguru turn white all of a sudden, "Oh my god!" Both the grumpy teen and Tatsuha let out at the same time turning equally white… as if they had seen a ghost.

"Oh yeah baby… We're that good!" Ryuichi sang happily, noticing the faces of the two teens were not exactly impressed, but rather scared. He turned to see what the deal was, and smirked widely as he saw what they were looking at. Hiro and Tohma turned around and turned white as well. Shuichi stopped with his fooling around and turned to where the others were looking as curiosity got the better of him.

…Bad Luck's singer almost passed out from what he saw.

Yuki Eiri stood with a blank expression on his face, wearing nothing but a small white towel not ten feet from where Shuichi stood.

XXX

Mikka opted for a luxurious bubble bath rather than the springs. She hated crowded places --very ironic given her trade—and also didn't want to see anyone other than Eiri, even though-- besides the noisy group-- there were virtually no other guest in the resort, according to management. She just didn't feel to be bothered.

If only she had been able to convince Eiri to stay in the room with her… no matter, she'd gotten him here, they had made love like they hadn't in years and everything was perfect between them. There was very little more she could ask for right now. As a matter of fact, there was only one thing… that he'd marry her.

"Go slow Mikka…" She told herself as she submerged into the steamy tub, "Don't rush him, he will come around." She had thought about it the whole afternoon. In fact she had come to a decision; her career be damned. Her top priority right now was herself and her happiness. It was time to realize her dream and become Mrs. Eiri Uesugi once and for all. But for that to happen, she'll have to take drastic measures. She glanced at the wastebasket where she'd thrown her pills in, and smiled widely.

"I should have thought of this years ago!" She chipped happily, humming her upcoming single, and thinking of baby names.

XXX

"Eiri!" Tohma was the first to react. Yuki shifted his gaze from Shuichi to his ex-lover, then to Hiro, who realizing the position he and Tohma were in, blushed profusely.

"What a small messed up world we live in, ne?" Tatsuha said unable to hide his excitement. Shuichi dancing provocatively with Ryu, Tohma and guitar-kun in a very compromising position… this is the stuff scandals were made of. The monk smirked and sat back to wait for the shit to hit the fan, as dark a he was feeling, he wanted to see his high and mighty brother lose his composure more that anything.

Tohma was as confused as the rest, he got to his feet and began making his way to his ex lover not knowing what to do.

"Don't bother," Yuki halted a hand to stop him, "Don't trouble yourself on my account, I'll be back when there's less of a crowd." The mangaka said casually trying with all his might to keep his eyes off Shuichi, who in spite of the compromising situation he was in, looked decisively good enough to eat.

"Hey bro!" Tatsuha waived smirking widely, taunting him, eyes glinting with spite. The monk would not rest until he got his scene, "C'mon get in with us! We'll be here 'till late, so might as well, ne?

Yuki shifted his eyes to his younger brother, not even wanting to know why he was here… why none of them were here.

"Does Mika know you're here?" Yuki asked coldly without greeting back.

"Oh, I think Mika has more important things to worry about other than little 'ol me.,. ne Tohma-onisan?" He shifted his black eyes to Tohma and glared at the producer. Ryuichi signaled for him to stop by knitting his brows at him, but Tatsuha ignored him, after all it was his damn fault that he felt the way he did.

"Give her a call." The mangaka commanded coldly turning to go.

"You are in no position to tell me what to do, dear brother." Tatsuha replied sweetly, again ignoring Ryuichi's dark gaze. Yuki ignored him and walked away.

"Eiri!" Tohma got out of the water regardless of Yuki's warning, and went after the blonde man.

"Oi, Hiro! Aren't you going after your man, they _were_ lovers you know?" Tatsuha turned to the longhaired man, his voice dripping with sarcasm. The monk was truly enjoying this little endeavor. Hiro ignored him and fixed his eyes on his best friend.

"What's he doing here?" Shuichi whispered disbelievingly, coming out of his shock. These things only happened to him, the singer thought bitterly. He turned to Ryuichi, "Did you invite him Ryu-kun?"

"Me! I don't know him, I've only seen him a few times," Ryu held up his hands in his defense.

"I wonder who?" Suguru turned his glare to Tatsuha.

"Yeah, like he would listen to me?" Tatsuha blurted enjoying this way too much. Ryuichi just gave him another disappointed look and a small shake of his head. Which again, Tatsuha chose to ignore, since the singer had been so busy all day flirting with Shuichi to pay him any mind, he was way past caring whether the godly singer was mad at him or not.

"I'm going to my room," Shuichi blurted disconcertedly, apparently not hearing any one around him. He couldn't hide his sadness even if he wanted to, and right now he didn't give a damn who noticed.

"Hey man!" Hiro went to him.

"I'm alright; all this heat gave me a headache that's all." He smiled.

"You were fine a minute ago." Tatsuha chanted.

"If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to kick your ass!" Hiro snapped his eyes to him and pointed a finger at the teen. He'd never been so mad at anyone in his entire life. The kid's arrogance and spite had been eating at him all day; even Suguru couldn't be this spiteful even if he tried. He frankly didn't see what was so great about him and why Sakuma-san and Suguru liked him so much. Right now, the usually quiet man really wanted to pound the brat.

"You and what army?" Tatsuha got to his feet lunging forward ready to fight.

"Let's go to my room, ne Tatsu-kun?" Ryuichi got between the two, grabbing Tatsuha by the arm, and leading him away. Mad as he was with the black haired beauty, he was not about to let Hiro-kun pound him.

Shuichi left, with Hiro not far behind, so that left Suguru alone wishing very much he hadn't come.

XXX

Tatsuha came into Ryuichi's room behind him. The singer had said nothing on the way over. The monk knew he'd gone too far but could not bring himself to care. On top of that, he could sense that the usually perky singer was not too happy about it—Ryu was probably mad because he had messed with his precious Shuuuuu-kun.

Ryuichi turned to him and for the first time looked as the adult he was. Not even on the night he had told him about his old lover had he looked this serious. It made Tatsuha even angrier that Shuichi could bring such emotion form the older man, and the only thing he could do, was being at the receiving end of that wrath, and be jealous about it.

"Why did you act that way?" Ryuichi asked tonelessly.

"What way?" The monk asked knowing exactly what he meant.

"I thought you were kind, I thought you were Shu's friend." The singer continued.

"I am," Tatsuha replied not liking Ryuichi's tone, just now he realized, after the hurt and rage was gone, that he had angered the one he promised he'd never hurt. He wished he could take his actions back, but he could not. The best he could hope for was to get Ryuichi to forgive him. "My beef is with Eiri." Tatsuha excused himself pathetically.

"I couldn't tell." Ryuichi's tone didn't change. Tatsuha made his way to him and put his arms around the older, shorter man's shoulders.

"C'mon, it wasn't that bad. Shuichi is a big boy, he'll understand, besides he knows I hate my brother." The teen kissed the side of Ryuichi's face, but the singer remained unmoved. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll apologize." Tatsuha offered realizing the gravity of the situation.

"You can do whatever you want." Ryuichi replied untangling himself from Tatsuha's hold and walking away. "I'm tired; I want to get some sleep now."

"Is he that important to you?" Tatsuha asked fighting to keep his cold façade in check.

"I told you that from the start." Ryuichi replied lowly, then sighed, "I'm not sure I like the way you're turning out to be." The words cut Tatsuha like a knife; still he would not allow his childhood love to see him weakening.

"What do you care what I turn out to be? The only thing you want me for is sex right?" Tatsuha hardened his voice.

Ryuichi looked at him perplexed, "Right now I just want to sleep." He replied after a moment. The two stared at one another, and then Tatsuha bowed low and left.

"This wasn't supposed to be this complicated…" Ryuichi sighed after the door closed behind the teen, and threw himself on his bed ready to sleep it all out of his mind.

XXX

"Eiri wait up!" Tohma called struggling to keep up with the taller man in front of him. Yuki turned, and the rage on his face halted the producer dead on his tracks.

"I don't even want to know what it is that you're doing here with that bunch of clowns." Yuki spat.

"I work with those clowns." Tohma replied defensively.

"Since when do you 'hang' with your underlings?"

"Don't take it out on me." Tohma said calmly, coming closer to the tall mangaka.

"Take what out on you? I gather you people are the 'large party' that's causing all that ruckus?" Yuki added, ignoring Tohma's previous comment

"Maybe, but don't change the subject. They're not here together if that's what you're thinking."

"I don't give a fuck."

"Then why are you so upset?" Tohma asked knowing the answer, but wanting the stubborn man to admit it.

"Who said I'm upset?" At that time Shuichi came into the hallway and stood stupefied staring at the two men. Hiro came right behind him and stood in front of them as well.

"Don't worry Hiro-kun, I'm not keeping your man long, we're just chitchatting a bit. I'll send him right up." Yuki said all sweetness, the venom that emanated from him a moment before was completely gone.

"Not at all Uesugi-san," Hiro bowed politely, Shuichi turned to his friend with a shocked expression, "Tohma take all the time you need, I'll be with Shuichi." The longhaired man bowed again, and took his friend by the shoulders guiding him away.

"Aw, isn't he the best friend ever! You're so lucky Tohma-kun" Yuki sang sarcastically the minute they were out of sight.

"If it bothers you that much, you know what you have to do." The mangaka's gaze on his ex-lover hardened significantly.

"It doesn't bother me for the reasons you think." Yuki replied.

"Then what reasons do you have to be upset?"

Yuki glared, and then ran a hand over his hair looking for a suitable reply, he really wished he had a cigarette, and was dying to get back to his room so he could get one. "Listen Tohma, you and I are over. You don't need to baby-sit me anymore."

That's not it and you know it. I loved you as a man, and now I love you as a dear friend, and by doing so I want the best for you."

"Look, I'm here spending a romantic weekend with Mikka and no little boy is going to change that." Yuki finally said, more to convince himself than anything else. Of all the places to be, of all the people to meet, what were the fucking odds to meet the very reason for his escapade?

"Then have a good time." Tohma replied coldly and walked away from the proud knucklehead. "If you get over your denial and want to talk about it, I'll be at the "Gardenia suite" until tomorrow morning." The producer said over his shoulder.

"I'd take care of Hiro-kun if I were you, instead of bothering with the problems of others." Tohma turned and gave his old lover and long hard look.

"That's the difference between you two; he worries about others as well. To him, it is the right thing to do, not a bother like you say." He then walked away without looking back.

Yuki stood staring after him, hating him—not for the first time—why did he always have to be right? It was as if Tohma could read the inside of his soul and say what he would not. It didn't matter really, Yuki thought—he had already made up his mind to forget Shuichi and even if that meant to move out of Japan, that's exactly what he was going to do.

"Didn't he look so sexy in that little towel?" A sarcastic voice whispered close to his ear. Yuki felt the overwhelming desire to hit the moron and blow all his teeth to keep him from smirking the way he knew the brat was doing right now. The fucking kid grew more annoying each time he saw him. He turned his head slowly to face the spit image of himself.

"Who's that?" Yuki asked coolly, he was not about to be antagonized by the moronic brat.

"Shu-chan who else?" Tatsuha smirked, after he left Ryuichi's room he wanted to hurt someone the way he was hurting… lucky him he found the perfect victim.

"Shouldn't you be playing with him, instead of wasting your precious time with me?" Yuki replied flatly refusing to fall for it.

"Oh, but he doesn't want me… he wants you." Tatsuha replied slyly, "Besides, I'm into older men."

"Good for you," Yuki began walking away ignoring his brother's taunting.

"I mean didn't you see him? he looked as if he was about to cry… he misses you a lot, he told me." Yuki's expression didn't change; he kept on walking and stopped right as he was passing the bastard. They were almost the same height.

"I don't know what your game is, but I warn you little boy… don't fuck with me. I'm not Mika or our parents; I'm not someone you can manipulate. If you mess with me, you will get burn."

"Why would I even try to mess with you?" I learned all my tricks from you Eiri-onisan. I'm just trying to help a friend get back with the man of his dreams that's all. Although to tell you the truth, I can really say I get what he sees in you." Yuki regarded his brother coldly and kept on walking.

"Call Mika." He said over his shoulder without looking back, and then re-entered the springs. Since the 'NG party' had left, there was no point in not enjoying what he'd come here to do.

X

Yuki went into the healing warm waters, there was no one left save Fujusaki Suguru, keyboardist from Bad Luck. He'd seen the kid so many times in the DVD he still watched from time to time, that it was as if he knew him. He put his damp towel on his head and leaned back on the same stone—unbeknown to him-- Shuichi had.

The image of Shuichi dancing almost naked came back to his mind to torture him, the image of him leaving with Hiro… he did look about to cry. Was it because of him? He didn't want to think about it, it was of no concern to him, but still…

Yuki opened his eyes and fixed his gaze on Fujisaki and smiled warmly, the teen turned his eyes away blushing like a schoolgirl.

X

Suguru watched Yuki-sama come in and settle in the water. He'd seen the man up close only a few times, and each one of those times he looked more impressive than the last. Tatsuha was the spit image of his older brother; save for the hair and eyes they almost looked like clones. Yet there was something special about the older Uesugi that set him apart, something the monk lacked. The teen tried to move a bit closer to the mangaka, inch by inch, until he was but a mere few feet from him. Then Yuki-sama turned to him and smiled agreeably. Suguru hadn't noticed that he was staring at the blonde man stupefied.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Yuki Eiri asked in a warm tone. Suguru almost jumped in place; not realizing the man had been observing him for a while.

"Eh… oh no… I mean, I didn't mean to stare, it's just that I…" Suguru managed to stutter turning a bright shade of red.

"Is quite alright, I'm used to it." The man replied agreeably. "You're from Bad Luck aren't you?" The mangaka asked smiling, giving Suguru a warm tickle down his back.

"Yes" He managed to reply.

"So what are you all doing here?" Yuki-sama asked in that deep voice of his. Suguru could hardly get over the fact that the manga god was talking to him and the he knew who he was on top of that. This must be the luckiest day of his life. He began to feel dizzy; he didn't know whether it was the excitement or the hot water or both.

"We came to celebrate the end of our collaboration with Nittle Grasper." Suguru answered sounding robotic.

"I see, and how did my brother collaborated on that project?" Yuki-sama asked warmly giving Suguru another tingle down his spine.

"He came with Sakuma Ryuichi." Suguru wasn't sure what Yuki-sama knew about that, or if it was a good idea to say anything, but what the hell, he owed nothing to the monk; besides, somebody had to put that old pervert in jail for getting it on with a minor.

"Is that right?" Yuki-sama remarked smirking, he sounded so nice. It was hard to believe he was the asshole everyone made him out to be… especially Tatsuha. "A nice little honeymoon trip among co-workers ne?"

"Yeah well, some of us came alone." Suguru replied uncomfortably, noting a bit of sarcasm in the man's voice, "I mean is not like I want to have somebody… I could if I wanted to…"

"I'm sure." Yuki-sama smiled leaning further down into the water.

"Anyhow, Sakuma-san doesn't really want to be with Tatsuha," Suguru added to keep the man interested into talking to him longer.

"No?" It did, Yuki-sama raised a curious brow at the comment.

Yuki on the other hand looked infinitely more interested that he really was. He'd put on a show, as long as it kept the kid talking… _meh, who said I need Tohma to get info? _He thought.

"No, he want to get with Shuichi-kun, everybody knows that, even Tatsuha." Suguru continued proud that he could be of service. "He just might be able to pull it off, Sakuma-san is very persuasive."

"So I'm told." Yuki remarked, the image of the three of them kissing at the NG studio the night right after he'd been intimate with Shuichi made its way to his mind. Making his blood begin to boil again, to think that some kid had made a fool of him.

"I'm sorry about Tohma-kun." Suguru said after a while, the two had been silent for some time and Yuki hadn't even noticed.

Yuki eyed the teen confused, and then he understood. "Thank you, but you needn't be." He pushed down his anger at the insolent comment with a smile. "What's your name again?" He knew it perfectly, but of course he would not tell the kid that.

"Fujisaki Suguru." The teen snapped dutifully, Yuki nodded and got up.

"I'm through here, but I'm sure I'll see you around, hey! Maybe we can play ping pong or something fun like that before I leave."

"Oh my god of course!" Suguru was just about to pass out from the excitement. Imagine that! Uesugi Eiri-sama playing ping-pong with him! Who would have thought he'd make a friend out of the untouchable Uesugi god. Yuki smiled again and got out of the spring. He looked majestic, with water dripping down his perfectly sculptured body. Suguru found himself blushing and hiding a hard on.

Yuki waved over his shoulder one last time as he exited the bathing-room. Suguru stared after him long after he was gone, with a huge smile on his face.

XXX

"Dumb ass!" Yuki spat as soon as he was in the building. He made his way to his room lost in his own thoughts. Why did he feel the need to talk to some kid to find out about Shuichi? And why did he care whether he'd been with his brother or the other moron? He told himself that it was a pride issue, but if he was honest with himself, he did wanted to know where his brother fitted in the whole picture. Not only did the brat got everything he himself didn't as a child, now he might potentially be moving into his territory with Shuichi.

"_Shuichi is not your territory_," he reminded himself, running a hand though his hair… god he wished he had a cigarette!

He returned to his room to find Mikka asleep in their bed, wearing revealing lingerie. It almost made him laugh to think that after all these years she still thought he got exited over those things. If she only knew that he had to picture Tohma… and now Shuichi just to get a hard on when he was with her, she'd die.

"I should give you some credit though," he whispered pulling the covers around her carefully not to wake her. "You try so hard." He kissed her forehead and watched her snuggle against the pillow.

"…Eiri…" Mikka whispered in her sleep

"Are you dreaming about me?" He smiled ironically and watched her for a little while longer, then made his way to the window and sitting on its sill, he fixed his eyes on the forest beyond. All the day's happenings coming once again to mind.

"Are you pushing us together?" He asked looking up to the sky giving a short bitter laugh. "Too bad I'm too stubborn to listen."

XXX

"Why is he here Hiro?" Shuichi threw himself on the bed, "I bet it was that fucking Tatsuha." The singer let out poignantly.

"I wouldn't put it past him, but I don't think that is the case," Hiro sat on the bed next to his friend.

"I don't get it; I mean we had sex once right? Then he dumped me like a used tissue, but every time he sees me he looks at me as if I've done him some horrible wrong!" Shuichi lamented remembering the disgusted face of the man he loved.

"Well, you don't help matters by looking like a deer caught in headlights either." Hiro observed.

"What do you mean?" Shuichi sat up defensively.

"I mean look at you! Here you are acting as if it's the end of the world. I thought you were going to forget about him and move on."

"It's not as easy as it sounds. You don't even know what it is to love someone for so long, only to discover that everything you thought you knew about that person is fake, that he is an asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself." Shuichi turned and stared at the ceiling blankly.

"Sure I do, I thought I felt the same way about Maiko, but look at me, I found Tohma and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with, just have faith man, you'll find someone to cover that hole in your heart." Hiro felt so impotent, this was the very first time Shuichi truly needed him, and he couldn't do anything.

"I know… I mean, my mind knows all this, but my heart doesn't seem to care." Shuichi whispered, reaching out and spreading his fingers against the light above.

"Well, maybe it would help if you socialize more, you never know, you might meet someone to replace him, giving that, that is what you want of course."

"Yes, that's exactly what I want! I want to forget him and move on! I want to forget that night… I want to forget everything." Shuichi let his hand fall to his face and covered it, hiding incoming tears. Hiro looked the other way to allow his friend to at least to keep his dignity.

"Then you should find someone you have things in common with, someone who can make you happy." The longhaired man said after a moment.

"Yeah, like who?" Shu snapped.

"How should I know? We been friends for years and I never even knew you had a thing for Eiri-san. Yeah I thought you were weird and all for not dating, but hey! You're a nutcase right? I never imagined what you felt like... I suck as a friend." Hiro said jokingly trying to cheer up his friend.

"Thank you for being my sucky friend," Shuichi half smiled and turned away from Hiro.

"Seriously Shuichi, I don't like to see you like this, you don't deserve it."

"But what can I do?"

"You got two options: one, you talk to him and ask him why he resents you so much, and beg him to take you back. Two: you forget about him for real, and find warmth with someone else. Whatever option you take, only you can decide."

"I know," Shuichi replied barely above a whisper, "Hiro…"

"Yeah?"

"I want to be alone now." The singer turned to him smiling. Hiro could see the sadness behind his friend's lavender eyes. He felt so helpless but there was nothing he could do, Shuichi had to find a way to cope all on his own. He made his way to the door.

"If you need me, you know where to find me."

"Yeah, like I'd want to put up with a jealous Seguchi." Shu tried to joke.

"Oh don't worry, he's not jealous of you… you're too ugly for me." The guitar player smirked giving Shuichi the finger, and left closing the door softly behind him

XXX

A knock on the door woke him up. Shuichi tried to ignore it, but when it came a second, and third time, it was obvious to the groggy singer that whoever it was would not go away.

"Coming!" He yelled struggling his way in the dark, "Who the hell needs me at this hour?" the singer wondered, freezing instantly… _it can't be_! His heart began to beat faster at the possibility of Yuki being the one behind his door. He opened it to find Suguru holding a tray with tea for two, looking very much like the cranky kid that he was. Shuichi felt disappointed beyond words, he could swear it emanated from his pores, but then again it was his own fault for being such a hopeless dreamer. Suguru gave him a half smile, which made Shuichi feel even worse.

"Fjisaki!" Shuichi exclaimed feigning surprised, "I know you're not here to seduce me, so spill it out." He was wide-awake now, and very curious to know what could possibly make Suguru knock on his door at this hour-- Although he had a pretty good guess.

"Can I come in?" Suguru asked shyly, making Shuichi lift a concerned brow.

"I guess so, since you brought booze." Shu eyed the tray and moved out of the way for the teen to come in.

"It's not booze, it's just tea" Suguru knitted his brow in reproach and made his way in, "Where should I set this/" he asked looking around the place.

"Over there, on the table," Shuichi pointed and followed the teen as he headed in that direction.

"Did I caught you at a bad time/"

"It's always a bad time, but hey! I got two minutes to spare." The singer stated.

"I can go if you want." Suguru asked.

"I'm joking with you, you're so uptight Fujisaki." Shu smiled.

"Sorry, I know is late, I guess I'd be annoyed if it was me, so I thought…"

"So what's up?" Shuichi asked cutting him off, as much as he'd like to chitchat, he wanted to know what brought him here.

"Well… I don't know where to start, I mean, I kind of need a favor from you and…"

" Let me guess. You want me to keep Ryuichi entertained so you can seduce Tatsuha?" Shuichi half joked hoping to lighten him up. Suguru turned all shades of red before finally lowering his head to stare at the floor. "Is that it?" Shuichi exclaimed surprised, he didn't think Suguru that gutsy.

"Would you?" Suguru asked in a small voice.

"So you're technically using me like a piece of bait on a hook?" Shuichi feigned hurt,

" What do I get out of it?"

"You know Sakuma-san likes you, he's been flirting with you all day, that's the reason for this whole trip, we all know it, even you. Besides, he's not even minding Tatsuha anymore! It's not like it'll be so hard for you, besides maybe you can use it to your advantage." Suguru ended in a rush of words,

"To my advantage?" Shu raised a confused brow.

"You know, maybe you can get Yuki-sama jealous by flirting with Sakuma-san." Shuichi stared at the kid with pure shock in his eyes. He would have not come up with an idea as such, and here was a sixteen year old showing him the way… damn, was he clueless or what? "Don't look like that, we all know you were really affected by him being here, I could tell, and I bet so could he." To this Shuichi seemed to react, his expression changed from shock to plain fear. "Will you help me?" Suguru asked carefully. Shuichi got out of his shock and looked at the teen for a moment.

"Do you even know if Tatsuha wants you/" Shu asked still shaken by the teen's comment, and seriously hoped that Suguru would drop the previous subject, he didn't want to know how Yuki felt… couldn't handle to know.

"Tatsuha is a brat who doesn't know what he wants!" Suguru stated angrily, sitting on Shuichi's bed forcefully, the tea he brought forgotten.

"But do you know whether he wants you?" Shuichi asked grateful that Yuki's subject had been dropped for the time being.

"No he doesn't, but he'll take me if he gets mad enough and wants to get back at that old fart."

"And are you willing to live with that?"

"Shindou-san… you don't know what it's like to idolize someone for as long as you can remember, to the point of fantasizing day and night, and living your life trying to make that person take notice of you, even if it is to hate you? Shuichi… I'm not gay, but I want Tatsuha more than anything… does that even make sense?"

"Yes, it does." Shuichi whispered understanding exactly what Suguru was saying; it was as if he were describing his own dilemma.

"I just…" Suguru hesitated, "I just have to get him out of my system." The usually confident teen whispered lowly.

"I don't know if this is the best way, I mean, look at me! See what I got for getting with 'the man' of my dreams?" Shuichi mocked himself.

"Is different, besides it's a consequence I'm prepared to live with." The both looked at one another. Shuichi admired Suguru's resolve; he himself had proved again and again what a wuss he was, "So you'll help me right?" Suguru demanded eagerly.

"But what exactly do you want me to do?" Shuichi asked unsure, and Suguru smiled satisfied, he'd gotten what he'd come for… an accomplice.

"I know you're not into Sakuma-san the way he's into you, so I won't ask you to seduce him or anything like that, but just try to keep him away from Tatsuha. I don't know… flirt with him, make Tatsuha jealous, if you do, the more chances I'll have that he'll retaliate… with me"

"What if he doesn't?" Shuichi asked not liking the plan at all.

"I won't bother you anymore and I'll find another way." Suguru concluded with a smile.

"Alright," Shuichi conceded skeptically, although he couldn't really blame Suguru for stooping that low, he would probably do the same if he knew he had any hopes with Yuki.

"Thank you," Suguru said sincerely, it made Shuichi laugh how nice he could be when he really wanted to.

"But you'll owe me big time, you know Ryu doesn't deserve to be played like that, so you better be ready to give me your first born." Shu joked.

"He's a whore! Of course he deserves it. He doesn't care who it is as long as he gets laid. If you ask me he should be in jail!" The keyboardist replied getting upset.

"Ook, I can see you're not so hot about Ryuichi."

"He's obnoxious and too old to be carrying a pink bunny!" Suguru added getting angrier still.

"Alright, you made your point, let's not get all exited."

"Sorry, I just let my emotions get the better of me sometimes." Suguru apologized.

"Sometimes?" Shu arched a brow. "Now get out of here before Tatsuha sees you with me and thinks we have something going." Shu pushed the teen towards the door.

"Yeah, like that would happen!" Suguru smirked.

"Why not?" Shu feigned hurt, "I'm a good looking guy."

"I told you I'm not gay, I just like Tatsuha,"

"Right…" The singer rolled his eyes as he opened the door,

"And his brother," Suguru blurted and ran fast down the hallway.

"What did you say! I'll kick your ass you hear me!" Shuichi half joked popping his head out the door.

XXX

"Tatsuha stood outside Ryuichi's door. He'd given the older singer exactly five hours to sleep off his anger. The monk hoped that it had been enough time. He knocked low not to startle his love. A few moments later a groggy Ryuichi opened the door, showing a bit of surprise on his face.

"Tatsuha!" Tatsuha winced at the singer's coldness but didn't show it.

"Were you expecting someone else?" The monk asked tonelessly.

"No, but I would have like it to be Shu-kun." Ryuichi replied making it clear that he was still upset.

"Are you going to let me in?" Tatsuha asked choosing to ignore the comment.

"Yeah," The singer replied moving aside. Tatsuha let himself in and immediately put his arms around the older man, searching for his lips to steal a kiss. The singer didn't return the hug and moved his face to the side, avoiding the searching mouth.

"I'm going to get dressed," Ryu announced moving away from the monk. Tatsuha's arms fell limp to his sides; his onyx eyes followed the shorter man as he moved through the room. Once dressed, Ryuichi took Kumagoro from the bed and without a second glance to the teen, he headed to the door. "I'm going to see Shu, you can stay here if you want." Ryuichi said tonelessly. Tatsuha blinked and willed his mind to let go of his pride and go to the one he loved, but as usual, his foolishness won out.

"There's not point to it, I'll just go," That is not what he had wanted to say, not at all, but he guessed that his defense mechanism was already in place and from this point on the bastard within him had taken over.

The two headed down the hall in silence, Tatsuha wanting very much to be back in Tokyo, to put some distance between the two to let things cool down.

And Ryuichi on the other hand, confused at the fact that Tatsuha was not begging for forgiveness. In fact that was one of the things he liked about the teen, his pride… and what pride that was! He was not only beautiful, and interesting, and enigmatic, and smart. He was cool as ice under any and all circumstances. Tatsuha knew exactly how to behave, and how to hide his feelings. Something that he himself did not possess, He could still remember how he had cried when Yoshi left him. The two were so engrossed on their own thoughts that did not noticed Suguru rounding the corner running towards then, until he bumped into Tatsuha.

"Watch it dork!" The monk snapped angrily as soon as he realized who it was.

"Who do you think you're calling a dork/" Suguru snapped back, eyeing Ryuichi, then back at the monk.

"How old are you five? What the hell are you doing running down the hall at this hour?" Tatsuha continued with his lashing.

"For your information… not that is any of your business… asshole. I was having tea with Shuichi." At the mention of the singer, Ryuichi's attention turned to them.

"Is Shu-kun still up?" He asked eagerly. Suguru turned to him completely turning his back to the monk.

"Yes, he is, and he was just telling me how much he wish he could see you!" The teen smiled sweetly at the older man, all the while eying Tatsuha defiantly.

"Really? I was on my way to his room right now!" Ryuichi quipped happily.

"Great! Shuichi-kun will be so happy." Suguru let out as sweetly as before.

" I'll see you guys tomorrow," The older man waved dismissively and headed hurriedly in the direction Suguru had come from. The two teens watched him until he rounded the corner. Suguru turned to the monk with a smile from ear to ear.

"So, you take turns or something? He fucks you first, then the rest of the world?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Tatsuha snapped wanting to slap the brat very badly.

"See you tomorrow," The shorter teen chanted unaffected and began to walk down the hall.

"Hey!" Tatsuha called out, Suguru turned still smiling, knowing that's exactly what would happen.

"Yeeees?" He asked.

"Did Shuichi really say that?" The monk asked leaving all pretence aside.

"Of course. Why would I lie? And the teen walked away suppressing an irresistible urge to laugh.

Tatsuha stood in place not knowing what to do, what to feel. He knew Ryuichi never said they were steady lovers or anything, and that the whole trip was pretty much an excuse to get into Bad Luck front man's pants, but still… it hurt.

"_Why do I always do this to myself?"_ The monk asked aloud, thinking in all those casual lovers he had allowed himself to get close to. In the end it was all the same, no matter how devoted or affectionate, or how committed he pretended to be, they didn't give a flying fuck, and the only thing they wanted from him was sex. He hadn't cared; because all he had ever wanted from them were the few minutes of pleasure and the chance to forget the reality of the life that he so hated and pretend to be someone else at least for a little while.

But Ryuichi was different, he knew it and that was the main reason he felt this way. He hadn't care whether those lovers were married, or had families. Nothing beyond the sex really mattered, but with Ryu was all the opposite. He wanted to mean something, he wanted Ryuichi to look at him and see the person that he was inside, that he was heart as well as body. Not only some willing participant to kill time while the "one" came along.

The young monk sighed and made his way to his room, lucky he had thought about stealing some sleeping pills from Mika just in case something like this happened.

"Sleep tight Tatsuha… sleep tight." He said aloud and hurried his pace to sweet, mindless oblivion.

Suguru came out of his hiding place, and looked after Tatsuha concerned. He'd never seen him quite like this. His face just now held such sadness, such loneliness, that it gave the young teen chills. Thinking back, Suguru now realized that he'd never concerned himself in considering what was it that Tatsuha really felt, or what drove him to be the way he was. He'd only seen him as a beautiful and promiscuous creature he wanted to be with.

"Hmph… I condemned you for being shallow, and look at me? I guess I don't deserve you as much as I thought." The teen whispered to himself and headed back to his own room, hoping tomorrow would be a better day.

XXX

Ryuichi stood outside Shuichi's door. The morning had started great. He'd had the best sex in a long time with Tatsuha. And it had not been only carnal pleasure; he had actually felt loved and cared for, something that he had not felt since Yoshi left him.

Tatsuha… he was great! Fun, beautiful, smart… and god was he great in bed! The singer wasn't even sure why, but he felt so free when he was with the young Uesugi. Like he could be himself, and talk about all those things he had bottled up inside. Even now that he had been angry, he didn't have to pretend and smile like a fool, making his Kuma-chan talk as if he were him or anything foolish like that. The only other person he'd ever opened up and talked about what he went through with Yoshi was Tohma, and that was because he knew him too well and did not leave him alone until he got it out. After that, he thought that had been a closed chapter in his life, but last night with Tatsuha had felt so right.

When he found the teen looking at the memories of the happy life he had once had, he realized that chapter was not over at all, and so he had let the dark haired beauty in his most private thoughts, and after talking to him about it he had felt, as he hadn't in years… alive.

However the day had gone from great to horrible in a matter of hours. Tatsuha acted like a real jerk all day long, and even managed to get upset Tohma's lover Hiro-kun, who by all means always seem so collected and rational. Ryuichi couldn't understand what had made Tatsu act like that, especially towards Shu, he had made sure to tell him his intent with the singer from the start. Maybe he had given him the wrong impression. Maybe, by trusting him and relying on him so much had accidentally made him believe there was something serious between them. Although honestly, he himself didn't know where Tatsuha fit in his life now. The more he thought about it, the more confused he got. He knew however that there was no way there could be anything serious between them. Even the casual sex they'd shared was far too much, given the huge age gap between them.

In Ryuichi's view, that was the biggest obstacle. He knew if the knowledge of it ever fell in the wrong hands, he'd be in a heap of trouble. Also the fact the he was related to Tohma's family didn't help matters much either.

Ryuichi sighed wondering where would it all lead. He had planned this trip to finally seduce Shuichi once and for all, but now, he didn't even feel like seeing him, still he couldn't let some teenager run his thoughts like this.

Sakuma Ryuichi made up his mind, he had had his fun, and now it was time to move on to his 'real' target. He knocked Shuichi's door, and pushing Uesugi Tatsuha out of his thoughts, focused on the groggy young man who opened it.

X

"Ryu!" Shuichi was surprised to see the singer standing at his door.

Hey!" Ryuichi smiled waiving a Kumagoro filled hand, while peeping inside the room. "Can I come in, or do you have some hot guy in there?" The older singer quipped. Shuichi smile warmly, Ryu never failed to bring his spirits up. "I wish, I got no luck with men… don't you know that's what Bad Luck stands for? Shuichi's bad luck in love." Shu complained rolling his eyes.

"That's 'cause you want to, you know Kuma-chan and I want to do yummy things to you." Ryu emphasized the last part with a wink. Shuichi moved over to let him come in, choosing not to reply to that. Ryuichi came in noticing the teacups on the table.

"Did you have visitors?" He asked, he knew Su-chan had been here, but wanted to see what Shuichi would say.

"Yeah, Suguru came to pay me visit. Basically to beg me to help him get Tatsuha." Shu covered his mouth but it was too late, he slapped himself inwardly for forgetting the 'small' fact that the man in front of him was sleeping with the monk in question.

Ryuichi on the other hand, felt something he had only felt once before… jealousy. He tightened his clutch on Kumagoro and hid it well behind his goofy smile. He was here for Shuichi damn it… Shu-i-chi! Tatsuha be damned!

"Oh…I thought Su-chan acted weird around Tatsu-kun!" The older singer said tightly, impressed yet again at how oblivious he was to everything.

"Yeah well, It isn't a state secret," Shu said as tightly, "please don't tell anyone I told you ok?"

"Who am I going to tell? Besides I'm not here to talk about them." Ryuichi's eyes sharpened turning him into his 'other self' the self Shuichi was afraid of, And more so now that they were alone in a bedroom with nowhere to run, no one to hear his screams.

Ryuichi made his way slowly to his prey. Cursing Tatsuha inwardly again for sneaking his way into his mind with the memories of the monk doing exactly the same to him. He tried to focus on Shu, how cute he looked, how desirable, but all he could do was wonder if Tatsuha was upset.

"Are you aright Ryu-kun?" Shuichi's voice brought him back to the present, shifting his green eyes to the inquisitive lavender ones staring at him.

"Yes, why do you ask?" Ryuichi snapped, he had not noticed that he was standing in front of Shuichi like a lifeless manikin. He had waited all these time to get the singer like this, and all he could do was think about Tatsuha… damn the brat!

"You were spacing out." Shuichi replied stepping back.

"Sorry…I'm just a bit tired that's all, you know, the hot springs make you sleepy." Ryu warmed once again returning to his normal happy go lucky demeanor.

"Maybe you should get some rest." Shu offered concerned.

"Are you kicking me out?" Ryu pouted jokingly.

"Of course not, but if you're tired you should get some rest, we can hang tomorrow." Shu replied hopeful Ryuichi would take that option.

"Maybe I will," The singer walked to the bed and sat on it, patting next to him for Shuichi to sit. Bad Luck's singer obliged hesitantly, and the two faced each other in silence for a long while.

"I'm not ready," Shuichi muttered, knowing, or at least thinking he knew what was on the older man's mind.

"Not ready for what?" Ryuichi asked raising a brow mischievously.

"You know…" Shu whispered turning red.

"Does it bother you so much that Yuki Eiri is here?" Ryuichi asked sensing that to be the source of the problem.

"Why would it bother me?" I have nothing to do with him… why everybody assumes stuff?" Shuichi was somewhat taken aback with the question.

"I'm not assuming anything, but you got really down since you saw him. And why are you getting so upset?" Ryu countered. Shuichi stood and faced the older man, who just followed his movements with his eyes from where he sat.

"I'm not upset!" Shuichi snapped pushing Ryuichi to fall back on the bed, the singer fell back and just waited for Shuichi's next move.

Shu took a deep breath and leaned towards his idol, supporting himself by placing his arms on either side of Ryu's head, and parting his legs with his own knee. Ryuichi didn't move, he was beginning to enjoy this aggressive side of Shuichi… maybe there was hope for him yet.

Bad Luck's front man however was not feeling as hot; he lowered his face to linger mere inches from Ryuichi's. He could feel his idol's warm breath on his face… God was he ever so beautiful! Shu had never seen greener eyes, smoother lips –except for Yuki's of course—so why couldn't he bring himself to want the man he had idolized since he knew what idolizing someone was?

Ryuichi brought his hands to the younger singer's chest and pushed him away.

"You're right… you're not ready." The older man got up and slowly walked to the door. Shuichi just stared after him not knowing how to apologize. Once at the door, Ryuichi turned to look at the younger man once more and gave him a warm smile, "That's ok… I'll wait for you a little longer." And with that, he left.

"Idiot!" Shuichi whispered to himself, " Why am I such an idiot?" He covered his face with his hands. If there were an award for idiocy, he'd get all winning places. He shook his head, making a mental note to apologize to his idol first thing in the morning; he was too tired to even move right now. The day's weariness came down on him full force, he laid down on his bed. All he wanted was for the morning to come so he could get the hell out of here and go back to Tokyo.

XXX

After a hefty breakfast, and much convincing from Shuichi—who in turn got convinced by Ryuichi-- not o go back just yet; Hiro, Tohma and the rest of the group moved to the ping-pong tables. Shu was so glad for it, now that Yuki was around, Shuichi did not want to be on his own to deal with it.

"I'll just play one game and that's it. I have a thousand things to do and only a week to do them, I can't be here relaxing like you guys" Tohma whined, as Ryuichi pushed him towards the game room.

"Yes, yes, of course you have tons to do…" The singer mimicked his band mate. It was funny to see their roles changed, Ryuichi acting the pushy adult while Tohma the whiny overgrown child. Hiro walked right behind them, snickering all the way with Shuichi, and Suguru walked in front leading the way, while a very upset Tatsuha walked way behind the group, wanting very much to go back tot Tokyo but not doing it out of pride. Since they've come here he had not had a moment alone with Ryuichi, and to make matters worst, the older man was still upset with him. The fact that he had barely said good morning was proof enough, and that was frustrating him more than he would usually allow.

"Alright, we'll do teams," Ryuichi began matter of fact—incredible that such a thing as a game of ping pong would cause him to act somewhat his age—"Bad Luck against Nittle Grasper, Since Noriko-chan isn't here, Tatsu-kun will stand for her." He announced.

"I don't want to play." Tatsuha blurted walking to a sofa and sitting, crossing his legs and looking right at Ryu. The singer set his green eyes on him the same way for a few moments, and then shrugged, "Ok then, we do two and two, the MVP will play with the remaining player."

"I'm with Hiro!" Tohma took his lover's arm and smiled broadly.

"And I'm with Shu!" Ryuichi came closer to the younger man and threw his arm around his shoulder.

"Tatsuha, play with Fujisaki!" Shuichi encouraged, giving the teen a pointed glare.

"I said I don't want to play." The monk replied calmly.

"I don't want to pair with him!" Suguru snapped and walked to the doorway. "I'll be right back," He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. The others looked at one another, shrugging and shaking their heads.

"So if we can't play we should go to the forest… you know to explore and stuff." Ryuichi draped his arm around Shuichi and husked, blowing a stray strand of hair out of the young singer's face. Tatsuha looked the other way, indignated and humiliated that Ryuichi would so openly flirting with Shuichi, and make a fool of him in front of the others. Especially after the little episode they had the night before. The teen monk wondered a little worriedly if the two singers had finally been together, the way Ryu acted and Shuichi allowed it, it all seem to point to that direction. He got his cell phone and dialed a random number; he was determined not to show his childish jealousy to these people, especially Ryu.

"Yeah, I know exactly what kind of exploring you intend to do." Tohma laughed, "You have no shame Ryuichi."

"I do so! I just don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about; it's a natural carnal need… ne Shu?" Shuichi smiled slightly, feeling suffocated by the older man being so close to his face, he wished Tatsuha would throw a fit or something, but the teen was too busy chatting away on his cell to notice his man straying.

"You're so weird Sakuma-san." Hiro laughed as well, and went to the ping-pong table; "Let's warm up Tohma while we wait for Suguru."

"Hai, hai" Tohma chanted happily and obliged.

XXX

Suguru stood outside Yuki Eiri's room. He knew the man hadn't really mean what he said the night before, but he didn't want to lose face in front of Tatsuha and the others, so he would give it a shot. Taking a deep breath, and gulping audibly a couple of times, he armed himself with enough valor and knocked twice; waiting patiently for the door to open or an angry Eiri-sama to yell for him to go away. After a few minutes, Suguru gave up and turned to go back to the others. Now he'd be even more embarrassed than before, but was actually glad that Eiri-sama would never know he'd been here to bother. How in the hell had he figured this was ok? He turned to go, but was halted as the door opened abruptly.

"May I help you?" A female voice asked, he turned to face Mikka Costa. Suguru had only seen her in person once before… she was stunning, even more so than in posters and magazine pictures. He gulped again not being able to bring himself to talk. "I asked you what you need, are your deaf?" The woman snapped, clearly angry for the intrusion.

"I'm sorry to be a bother," Suguru began nervously, "I was wondering if Yuki-sama…"

"Who is it?" A male voice came from within the room, and a few seconds later Yuki Eiri appeared behind his fiancé. "Well, hello there Suguru-kun" The man chanted so amicably that even his girlfriend seem a bit shocked

"Where do you know this boy from Eiri?" The pop singer asked curiously, with a completely different tone of voice.

"He's in Bad Luck," Yuki stared as if it were obvious.

"Bad Luck!" Mikka exclaimed surprised, "What are you doing here? And what do you want with Eiri?" She was definitely angry now. Suguru looked at her scared; this was not his idea of a first meeting with the pop sensation.

"Mikka calm down, you're scaring the boy." Yuki said softly, putting a hand on his fiancé's shoulder. He was also very curious as to know what the kid wanted with him.

"Well, we're playing ping pong, and since Tatsuha doesn't want to play we need an extra player, I remembered you told me you would play with me, and since I need a team partner I came to see if you'd like to play now." The words rushed out of the teen's mouth in a blur of barely intelligible words.

"Wait a minute, Tatsuha is here too?" Mikka cut in, turning to Yuki.

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you, I bumped into them last night. The mangaka said innocently.

"Who is them? Mikka asked afraid of the answer, if this kid was here, and Tatsuha, most likely the other Bad Luck members were here as well… including that Shindou Shuichi bastard.

"You know… them" Yuki pointed to Suguru, "Bad Luck, Tohma, Sakuma Ryuichi and my brother. Isn't that right?" Yuki smiled at Suguru, there was something malevolent in his face that Suguru did not know what to make of.

"Oh my God!" Mikka exclaimed, "I can't believe this, and Tohma is here too? After just breaking it off with Mika… bastard!" She snapped. Suguru just stood there not knowing what to do with himself, Yuki turned to him and smiled broadly.

"Give me a minute to change." He said snidely, eyeing his robe. Suguru blushed nodding dutifully.

"You're not serious are you Eiri?" Mikka blurted not believing her ears. The Eiri she knew would not in a million years even consider such a thing. Yuki smiled and went inside, wanting very much to see a certain someone's reaction when he showed up.

"Why not? I'm on vacation, besides I haven't played ping-pong in ages. I used to be good you know." He smirked, "What room are you?" He turned to Suguru.

"I'll wait for you here," the teen whispered shyly on the outside, but doing back flips of joy on the inside.

"I'm coming too!" Mikka announced.

"Hey! The more the merrier, you can cheer for me." Yuki said winking at Suguru while he kissed the top of her head, "We'll be right out." And the door closed.

XXX

"What the hell is taking Fujisaki so long?" Shuichi whined. Since the teen left, some fifteen minutes before, Ryuichi had not let go of him. He had guided him to a chair, and now he was sitting on it with the idol sitting comfortably on his lap while his legs were going numb, Kumagoro was on his head and he was dutifully trying to balance the two—a true Kodak moment—Tatsuha still chatted away with whoever he had called, bursting into laughter from time to time. Hiro the bastard was still playing with Seguchi, not even looking his way or attempting to save him from the ton of bricks sitting on top of him. He had promised Suguru he'd keep the man busy, but what good was it doing if the moody kid was not even here to take advantage of this golden chance and attempted to seduce Tatsuha.

Suguru ran into the room, brimming with happiness. Shuichi had to look at him twice to make sure he was not mistaking him with someone else, he'd never seen the kid so happy.

"I got a partner!" He gushed excitedly. Shuichi wondered whom, but his answer didn't take long. Yuki Eiri and Mikka Costa came in holding hands.

"Yo!" Yuki greeted amicably not looking at anyone in particular. Shuichi's heart felt as though would stop at any second, Ryuichi's weight on him felt like a ton of iron. Why did every time Yuki saw him, he was in some compromising position with another male, looking like a whore? And why the hell did he care so much? As if he had voiced it aloud Ryuichi got off of him, and gave him a quick peck on the lips and sauntered to where Yuki stood. Shuichi could have slapped him, but then again, he doubted the asshole even saw it or cared for that matter. Tatsuha dropped his phone and held his chest feigning shock.

"My brother… socializing? This has got to be the end of the world!" The mangaka didn't even look at him.

"Eiri!" Tohma smiled happy to see his old lover, but fearing the reason for his sudden gracefulness. "Mikka, how have you been?" The producer turned to the singer and nodded politely, she set her eyes on him, then Hiro and nodded back.

"I been busy," She replied dutifully and turned away, dying to tell him what a jerk she thought he was, but holding herself.

"Wow Yuki-sama, we're so happy you came to play with us!" Ryuichi perked flirtatiously, "Ne Shu, aren't we happy?" The singer turned to Shuichi who was still sitting on the chair, willing for his legs to wake up so that he could get the hell out of here.

"Yeah, really happy Yuki-sama," Shuichi replied as naturally as he could, and got to his feet hoping his legs didn't give out… they didn't.

"Ok, so I'll pair with Yuki-san, who'll go first?" Suguru asked coming a bit closer to his partner and eying Tatsuha while doing so. The monk hadn't move from his sit, and was glaring daggers at his brother… or was it Ryuichi?

"Noriko isn't here I see, I guess she's not pretty enough for your circle of friends?" Mikka said to no one in particular but turning her head slightly to fix her eye on Tohma.

"Ukai-sensei is in the hospital, she couldn't come." Ryuichi replied seriously. Tohma turned to him eyes wide with shock.

"When did you find this out Ryuichi?" The blonde man asked completely ignoring Mikka's snide remark.

"Yesterday when I called to invite her to come,"

"Why didn't you tell me? Is he all right? What's wrong?" Tohma sounded truly concerned, he might not like Noriko's obnoxious personality all the time, but he loved her nonetheless.

"You didn't ask… he's fine, just another one of his relapses." Ryu pouted at Tohma's stern face.

"Still you should have told me." Tohma scorned. Hiro put a hand on his arm to calm him down. Both men oblivious to the venom on Mikka's face.

"So are we going to play or what?" Suguru repeated.

"I referee!" Tatsuha stood and walked to the table, as he walked by Shuichi he leaned over and whispered in his ear with a little smirk, "Doesn't he look gorgeous with his shiny blonde locks, and honey colored eyes?"

"Shut up!" Shuichi exclaimed loudly, and on instinct hit him hard on the arm. Tatsuha threw his head back in laughter.

"What's so funny?" Ryuichi whined, throwing himself on Shu and putting his arm around his waist. Shuichi's face went red; he just wanted Ryuichi to stop harassing him like this-- Even though he deserved it for never stopping him before, but then again why should he care? Is not like Yuki was paying him any mind, and even if he was, it's not like he cared. Besides he had promised himself to forget all about him and give Ryu a chance—who was he kidding!

Slowly he put his arms around the older singer as well, and fixed his eyes on Yuki, who was staring right at him with his disgusted eyes. A stab of rage filled the young singer and without even realizing it he took Ryuichi's face and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"Nothing, Tatsuha is a jealous jerk." He muttered, but still loud enough for both Tatsuha and Yuki to hear. "So let's play!" Shuichi exclaimed letting Ryu go and striding past the mangaka to grab a paddle.

"Yeah let's play!" Suguru did the same.

"So how do we decide who goes first?" Hiro asked matter of fact.

"I'm the referee so I'll decide. I say the oldest person here gets to choose partner then goes first." The teen turned to Ryuichi, "Ryuichi and Shuichi will go first,"

"Ryu-kun you're older and Seguchi-san?" Shuichi leaned towards the singer to whisper in his ear. Both Uesugi's hid their anger well.

"Is that a bad thing?" Ryuichi whispered back noting Tatsuha's sour glare, and for some sick reason loving it. The older singer threw his head back in laughter at the younger man next words, making everyone in the room roll their eyes.

"Can we maybe start playing or you guys need a few minutes in the genitors closet?" Suguru asked sarcastically, but glad that Shu was holding to his word so well, he could literally feel Tatsuha's jealousy floating in the air.

Tohma and Hiro were trying very hard to keep a straight face; Shuichi's intentions of making Yuki jealous were so obvious to them. What they didn't know is that Ryuichi was doing the exact same thing to get to the other Uesugi sibling. The two singers went to the table and took their paddles.

"I'm gonna pulverize you Tohma!" Ryuichi exclaimed pointing his paddle at his band's leader.

"Ooh I'd really like to see that." Tohma declared just as defiantly cracking his neck.

"Ah that sounds like a challenge ne Ryu?" Shuichi got in the mix.

"You know we'll kick your hard headed asses!" Hiro looked down on the two, glad that Shuichi was acting so bravely, leaving the mess he had been last night forgotten in his room.

"Kyaaa Hiro-kun you're so scary. I'm gonna piss my pants" Ryuichi mocked bouncing the ball a few times.

"Can you guys get on with it already?" Suguru cut in. Yuki had settled on a chair, bringing Mikka with him and sitting her on his lap. Shuichi noticed, but would not let them get to him… would not!

"Fine!' Hiro replied and stopped the ball, taking it to serve.

"Why are you serving? Ryuichi is the oldest?" Mikka cut in looking at Hiro as if he'd done the unthinkable. They all turned to her collectively surprised by her intrusion.

"Mikka is right?" Tatsuha conceded.

"Sorry, I always get to serve when I play with Shu… habit I guess, sorry." Hiro replied agreeably and bounced the ball back to Ryu.

"Its my turn, and I say Hiro-kun serves," Ryu bounced the ball back.

"I don't have to…" Hiro replied lowly.

"Just serve Hiro-kun, I'm growing roots here," Yuki said agreeably to the man who now owned the heart that once belonged to him. Those who knew were actually shocked he was so cool with Hiro, but then again, they also knew that Shuichi was in the picture. The only one blissfully unaware of anything was the pop diva sitting so comfortably on his lap. Tatsuha glared at his brother with contempt.

"I'm the referee," He stated, "Go ahead and serve Hiroshi." He added turning to the guitarist. Hiro threw his first ball, and it was war from there. Both teams were actually very good and were not letting their guards down.

"Whoever we play up against… do not make me look bad or I'll kick your ass." Yuki warned Suguru, who gulped uncomfortably. He was good, but nowhere near the level the ones playing were displaying.

Mikka could not take her eyes off Tohma and his lover, she was no expert but no one needed to tell her this one. She'd never seen her producer so happy in all the years she knew him; the two men seemed so comfortable and in sync with one another as if they been together for ages. Poor Mika, if she ever saw this she'd die. On the other hand she was pleased to see that her fears about Bad Luck's singer were unfounded. The way he behaved around Ryuichi left no doubt in her mind that they were lovers… was every male at NG gay? She thought holding on to Eiri a bit tighter.

In fact speaking of Eiri and the Bad Luck kid, he had not directed a civil word to Shindou, which was weird given the way he acted on live television not too long ago.

"I'm not this good…" The younger member of the mediocre band lamented.

'That's fine, if Tohma wins, leave it to me, we've played millions of times, I know all his moves." Yuki stated fixing his eyes on the game, studying every move the two singers made. He would not lose to them…he would not!

"Where have you played Tohma a million times?" Mikka asked curiously, she didn't know the two to be so close.

"What if Sakuma-san and Shuichi win?"

"Then you better get good really fast." Yuki replied ignoring Mikka's question. She'd never seen him so competitive in something so trivial before, then again she'd never seen him doing anything trivial before. The pop princess didn't know whether to be worried, or happy about Eiri's changing behavior, although it seemed to be working great for her, she knew better than to get too comfortable, she had learned the hard way throughout the years.

Shuichi slammed a ball, which Tohma couldn't hit. It went to the wall and hit it so hard that it bounced back away from the table. Tatsuha caught it in mid air then walked and handed it to Ryuichi without a single word.

Shu noticed the two acting weird around each other but didn't say anything; Ryu will tell him in time,

"Yes!" Bad Luck's lead man turned to his partner and high five him. Ryu celebrated as well, the older singer grabbed him by the waist and lifted him, swinging him from side to side. They had no idea how sexy they look and how mad were they making a certain pair of siblings. Each singer did hope however, they were making their respective Uesugi green with jealousy.

"Stop that and keep playing already, you two are so gay!" Tatsuha snapped showing his displeasure. Butterflies danced round Ryu's stomach. It was so silly he knew, but he loved the feeling of having Tatsuha so jealous over him.

"Look who's talking!" Suguru rolled his eyes. Mikka snapped hers to the younger teen.

"What do you mean?" She asked in a grave tone,

"Nothing, he doesn't mean anything." Yuki whispered, grabbing the back of her head and bringing it close for a deep kiss. Shuichi saw it out of the corner of his eye, and all he could do to keep from crying was hold on to Ryuichi tight.

"Mush aside please, "Tatsuha added, turning to his brother. Ryu let go of Shuichi and grabbed the ball.

After seeing Yuki kiss that woman, he lost all concentration. Tohma and Hiro had an easy win and moved on to the next round.

"Sorry we lost," Shu mutter to his idol.

"That's ok, I had a lot of fun, besides…" He came closer to whisper in Shu's ear, " Do you really want to play with him?" He said pointing his chin to Yuki, Shu smiled.

"Guess not."

You two are out, you can go to the genitor's closet and have a quickie now." Tatsuha let out standing in front of the two singers.

"Only if you join." Shu quipped back.

"Ooh that'd be so hot!" Ryuichi yelped earning a cold stare from the young monk, Suguru, Mikka and of course Yuki.

"Enough cheap talk… let's play!" Tohma interrupted, hoping to stop what could turn into an ugly spat.

"Yes… let's" Yuki got up and made his way to the table, but not before kissing his fiancé long and deep, making her blush, "for good luck," he smirked. "Are you ready Hiro-kun?" The mangaka asked once facing his opponents, "Give me all you got." He winked at the longhaired rival. He actually liked the kid, and thought he made a good partner for his Tohma. Of course he would never tell them that, at least not to Hiro. Tohma knew him too well and more than likely already knew how he felt.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Hiro winked back.

"I didn't know those two were such good friends." Ryu whispered to Shuichi, who just glared feeling betrayed.

"Since they share the same ass, I see no reason for them not to be pals." Tatsuha whispered coming down between the two.

"You know man? You're getting nastier by the minute… how do you put up with him Ryu?" Shuichi turned to Ryuichi not looking at the teen.

The older singer shrugged. "I don't, I just ignore him." To this Tatsuha gave Ryuichi such a hateful glare that it made Shuichi's blood run cold. The monk then nod to himself, as if deciding something just then and went to stand by the table to referee the next game.

"Wasn't that a bit cold Ryu-kun?" Shuichi asked leaning closed to the singer so no one could hear them.

"No, he's been acting like as asshole, I just told the truth… I never lie Shu," Ryuichi replied matter-of-factly, his eye on the game, but shifting to Tatsuha every few seconds. The look the monk had given him felt like a physical blow, he knew he should apologize, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to.

X

Yuki was actually having a great time" it had been years since he played. Back in the day, before they got so big, he and Tohma used to play every weekend. The blonde mangaka had forgotten how much fun it was. It helped too that Hiro was very good at it and was actually giving him a challenge. Too bad he couldn't say the same about his partner… no matter, he was not playing to win, just to have fun. Yuki kept a watchful eye in everything Shuichi did as well as the game. How stupid could he be, he had actually thought the kid had been faithful and had nothing to do with Tatsuha, when in fact, the bastard was clearly involved with the idiotic singer. _Oh… how must you be laughing at me!_ Yuki thought hitting the ball with all his might, hitting Tohma right on the forehead in the process.

"Owch!" his ex yelped holding his forehead. Hiro let the paddle go and immediately turned to his lover concerned.

"Sorry Tohma. I just don't know how strong I am sometimes." Yuki apologized, about to laugh at the sight.

"You did it on purpose because we're winning!" Tohma let out rubbing his head.

"Hey, at least you have an excuse to make Hiro-kun kiss it better… you should be thanking me." Yuki asserted matter of fact pointing a finger at his ex

"I do all my kissing behind close doors." Hiro smirked. Shuichi could just kick him, how dare he fraternize with the enemy, and in his presence no less!

"Oh that's so not true I…" Ryuichi began.

"Do not continue." Tohma gave his band mate a warning, then turned to Mikka and gave her a warm smile. " I'm ok, let's keep playing." He told Yuki and Suguru.

"All right, but let me rub my good luck charm," Yuki quickly went to Mikka and kissed her again not caring that everyone was looking at him perplexed.

"Do you need the genitor's closet too?" Tatsuha asked with a mixture of jealousy and disgust.

"No closet for me," Yuki let his fiancé go and went back to play, "Alright… you better watch out Tohma!" The producer served, and the battle began once again.

Shuichi was having such a hard time keeping his emotions hidden. He knew some of his hurt must have been showing, he felt it emanating from every pore. He could swear that Yuki knew it and was enjoying it… the bastard! Instinctively, he moved closer to Ryuichi and held him a little tighter. At least that gave him some comfort.

The game went on for some time. Hiro was worried over Tohma, the red bump on his forehead warning enough. He knew his lover too well and knew that he would go through the discomfort rather than to be a nuisance. The longhaired man practically gave a pass to Suguru, who of course couldn't have miss it even had he wanted to. Tohma gave him a stern look, but said nothing and kept on playing. After another few minutes of no scoring, Hiro, very inconspicuously gave an easy pass to Eiri-san this time. The mangaka took it and slammed the ball harder than the time he hit Tohma. Making it bounce on the floor for the win. Tohma slammed his paddle on the table and turned to his lover furious.

"You gave our game Hiro!" The producer shouted furious. It literally made everyone jump—except for Yuki of course— he'd seen Tohma like that plenty of times

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Hiro feigned shock.

"Don't be a sore looser Tohma-chan." Yuki chanted. His ex-lover glared, then turned back to Hiro, who was already inspecting his bump.

"Yes! We won!" Suguru jumped up and down and made a victory dance.

"Please do not do that." Tatsuha begged sarcastically.

"Don't be a hater Tatsu-kun." The teen made his dance even more obnoxious.

"Yay!" Mikka exclaimed and ran to her fiancé, throwing herself into his waiting arms. Yuki lifted her off the floor and swing her much like Ryuichi had done Shuichi before, only once done with that, the blonde man threw her back and kissed her deeply-- old movies style.

"So what do we win?" Suguru asked excitedly turning to Tatsuha, "Well… referee-san?"

"You win that I won't kick you ass for being so bad at ping-pong!" Yuki laughed still holding on to his woman.

Shuichi positively wanted to die, after seeing that last kiss, he could not possibly stomach anymore, He got to his feet arming himself with courage to do what he must, he made his way to the tall man who held his heart and soul in a dark place with no hopes to return.

"Hey, where's Tohma and Hiro-kun?" Ryuichi asked suddenly, no one had noticed them leave.

"Hiro and Tohma are back in their room, "Yuki announced, "You know… the booboo." He added pointing at his forehead.

"Damn you're cold!" Tatsuha spat disgustedly

"I'll go check on them," Shuichi was quick to offer, and practically trip on his own feet as he changed his destination and ran to the door. Once there he turned and fixed his lavender eyes on Yuki's honey ones.

"Congratulations on your win Uesugi-sama," he bowed low in respect to the man who cut his insides every time he laid eyes on him, and then turned to Suguru, "Fujisaki." Then he ran out.

"Well that was fun." Yuki blurted as soon as Shuichi made his exit. He winked at Suguru, and taking his woman's hand made his exit as well.

"This is no fun. We're supposed to celebrate!" Ryuichi whined.

"The tree of us can still celebrate," Suguru proposed, of course he wanted nothing more than to see Ryuichi Sakuma go after Shuichi, so he could be alone with Tatsuha, his childhood love was so mad, he might actually fuck him this time.

"You mean the two of you… I'm going back to Tokyo." Tatsuha stated walking to the door as well.

"You're going now?" Ryuichi asked in a grave tone.

"Yes, my cab is probably waiting by now. I called it while you were… ignoring me." The resentment was clear in the young monk's eyes. Ryuichi was taken aback, but didn't reply.

"I was thinking on going back too, can I pitch in and go with you?" Suguru turned to the monk and tried one last time to get what he wanted.

"Hell no! Get your own taxi!" Tatsuha snapped and went out, leaving Ryuichi to stare after him.

XXX

"Shuichi" Yuki called. After leaving Mikka in their room with the excuse that he needed a soak, he'd gone out by himself and was going to the forest outback when he spotted the beautiful bastard who literally took his breath away running down the hall. The singer froze, then turned slowly as if wishing him away.

"Uesugi-sama," The boy modulated as if his mere name burned his lips. Yuki winced inwardly hating the sound of the respectful title from him.

"Hey, why the pomp, you didn't call me that when we fucked." Shuichi wheezed notoriously, "Lucky me to find you wandering all alone, ne… where are your lovers?" Yuki continued sarcastically. The hurt in Shuichi's eyes turned his heart a bit, but not enough to pacify his jealous rage.

"If you mean your brother, Tatsuha and I are friends" The singer let out trying to sound normal.

"I meant the other moron you seem to cling to so much, just curious… not that I really care," Yuki continued coming closer to him, letting the musk smell of the singer fill his senses. Shuichi stood frozen, unable to escape, "You didn't congratulate me properly you know." Yuki husked making Shuichi gulp loudly.

"Yes, I… I did," Shuichi was barely able to reply.

"Ah, but where is my kiss? I mean, you do kiss anyone and everyone; I'm starting to feel left out. I wouldn't be surprised to find out you've already been with Tohma." Yuki stopped so close to the singer that their bodies seem to touch. Shuichi fought with all his might the urge to throw himself at his love and beg him to forgive him… for whatever it was that caused Yuki to hate him so. Yuki lowered his head to Shuichi's; their lips mere centimeters from each other… _why can't you leave me alone, why do you have to torture me like this?_ Shuichi thought fighting tears. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Be what it will be—_he thought, but deep down he hoped that Yuki would kiss him, even if it were to mock him.

Yuki stared at those rosy lips… what was it about this man that drove him to humiliate himself and act so childishly. Even now after seeing how cozy he looked with Sakuma and how happy the two had looked, he wanted him; he wanted this man like he'd never wanted anyone, and that infuriated him. Rage overtook his reason once more, he wanted to hurt Shuichi, to make him feel the loneliness and frustration he felt. But at the same time he wanted to be with him, loving him and being loved by him.

Moments passed and Shuichi thought he'd go out of his mind. Slowly, he opened his eyes to face Yuki once and for all. What he saw hurt him more that words could express. Yuki's disgusted face would stay in his mind forever.

"You're not even worth it…" The man of his dreams whispered and walked away. Shuichi's tears fell free now that he wasn't looking… _I can't leave it like this… I can't!_ A voice repeated over and over in his head.

"I may not be much, and I may not be worthy of a lot of people, but _you_… are not worthy of _me_." Yuki kept on walking, Shuichi stood staring after him long after he was gone. Everything had been said between them.

XXX

Yuki stormed into his room. Mikka followed his every movement with her eyes but said nothing. She knew better that provoke Eiri when he was mad. He paced the room, went to the window, looked out of it, and then went back to pacing. He turned to her and the fire in his eyes scared her a little. Whatever happened to make him look like this would be forever a mystery to her, and she didn't mind one bit.

He came to her and roughly pushed her on the bed and began kissing her hard. He ripped her camisole with one swift pull and kissed his way down her body. All concerns and questions evaporated from her mind. There was only Eiri and the pleasure he was bringing her. Mikka arched her back as the biggest orgasm she'd had in years hit her, numbing her, and removing her from reality.

Before her body could even catch up with it, Eiri parted her legs and entered his savagely pushing his way into her to bring her to a climax once more. Each thrust seemed to go deeper, harder, It hurt, but it felt so good, it felt as if he truly needed her for the first time in…ever.

Yuki removed himself from her and flipped to lie flat on the bed and pushed his way into her as hard as he could. He thought that by raping Mikka would somehow make him feel better… _you're not worthy_… the words kept repeating in his mind, words he hadn't heard since he was a child.

"I am worthy…" He whispered. "I am worthy!" thrusting harder, hearing the small gasps below. He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he came to a climax. Slowly he removed himself from her and laid next to her staring at the ceiling numbly. "I am worthy…"

"You said something?" Mikka asked making him aware that she was still there. He turned to her and took her by the shoulders.

"Let's do it," He said.

"Let's do what?"

"Let's get married.

XXX

Ryuichi found Shu standing in the middle of the hallway staring into space. His face was so sad that it made him forget his own pitiful sadness over Tatsuha's departure.

"Are you alright Shu-kun? Shuichi's lavender eyes shifted to him.

"I want to go back," The younger man replied lowly. Ryuichi nodded smiling, there was nothing for them to do here any longer.

"Alright Shu… let's go pack."

XXX

A/N: If you made it to this part congratulations on your tolerance for sap. As you can see this is not so "alternative" after all, but we won't tell those lazy bums who didn't read it now will we? That Mikka is getting on my nerves! And how will Shu fight back… will he fight back? OMG… the suspense is killing me!… Wait, I know what will happen. But you don't so stay tuned to find out.

PS: Ok,I have no idea how to play ping-pong, so if I used wrong terms and whatnot… sue me!


	24. Shinning Collection

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga mentioned within this story.

NC-17 for language and adult situations

**Chapter Twenty-two: Sinning Collection**

The day finally arrived. Shuichi lay awake all night tossing and turning. Panic plunging him deeper and deeper into that dark recess he's found himself lately with each tick of the clock. He looked at the time and decided he couldn't wait any longer, the weight on his shoulders was too great to just lay in bed. He got up, and slowly went through the simplest tasks such as showering and dressing, as if he were heading to the electric chair to carry out a death sentence, instead of outside into the balcony --which as of late had served him as a refuge from it all.

As Shuichi passed the living room, he spied Hiro already up and dressed, watching TV, looking refreshed as if this were any other morning and not the most important one of their lives.

"Hey." Hiro waived cheerfully as soon as he saw him pass.

"Hey," Shu waived back feeling awkward for some reason. "You've been up a while?" The singer asked not really interested in the answer.

"Since around five. Tohma left about an hour ago, he said there's a lot to do today at the office… you know, with three mayor releases and all." Hiro smiled.

"Are we considered mayor?" Shuichi raised a brow.

"Are you kidding me? Tohma said since he announced our joint effort with Grasper we been hotter than ever!"

"Because of Grasper?" Shuichi let out lowly, already having figuring it out long ago, but bombed to actually hearing it.

"What's wrong with you man? You'd figure you'd be a bit happier today." Hiro knitted his brow, out of annoyance or concern, Shuichi couldn't tell.

"I am happy, I was just wondering." Shuichi countered and went into the balcony. Hiro followed him in silence and sat in the same chair he had the day before.

"Don't let him ruin the day you been waiting for all your whole life bro" Hiro began lowly.

"What do you know what I've been waiting for my whole life?"

"After telling me so about a million times, I think I can vouch for it." Shuichi turned to his friend.

"What the fuck is wrong with me Hiro?" He asked helplessly.

"You're crazy… that's what's wrong with you." Shuichi smiled and nodded.

"I'll agree with you just this once," He turned back to the raising sun. "I'm just a nerve wreck that's all. What if we bomb? I don't think I can take it." The two remained silent for a few minutes, watching the sunrise over Tokyo. It was beautiful-- funny the little things people took for granted, Shuichi thought as he let the orange light bathe his face

"Hiro…"

"Shuichi…" both began at the same time.

"You first?" Hiro pressed.

"Are you scared?" Shuichi asked

Hiro looked at the sun and then back at Shuichi, "God yes! I mean I wasn't even worried before, but now it's like it finally hit that we're actually releasing an album for the whole nation to hear… it's so surreal." Shuichi felt connected to his friend for the first time in months, he felt exactly the same. He was so happy that he wasn't alone with his fears that he could cry.

"What if we suck, what if no one buys our cd? I can't even imagine what I'd do, I can't even think on how I'd deal with it… I _don't _think I can deal with it!" Shuichi completed Hiro's thoughts. The longhaired man nodded agreeing one hundred percent. It didn't matter what Tohma said, or how much he reassured him. The fact of the matter was that no one knew for sure. Yes, they had a single on the charts, but there was a ton of 'one hit wonders' out there. Hiro didn't want to be that. "I can't be a one hit wonder. I want to shine like Ryu, I want transcend time… I want to break through." Shuichi ended lowly echoing Hiro's thought to the letter.

"We'll be fine. You worry too much." Hiro assured his friend after a moment, not sounding too convinced himself, Shuichi gave him a wary look, then turned back to watch the sun." Hey! So what you doing today, I mean, we have that show at night, but in the morning, what are you planning to do while we wait?" Hiro changed the subject abruptly, not wanting to think about it anymore than he had to, in fact, the less he brooded over it, the better.

Shuichi turned to him and gasped upon seeing his friend's eyes. They had that glint they always got every time he had a 'plan'

"I thought I'd stay here and pull my hair out one by one… about you?" Shu replied unsure.

"I'm not staying here! I'm going out to scout the area." The longhaired man smirked.

"Scout the area?"

"Yeah… you' know, going from store to store to see how well we're doing." Shuichi's face brightened-- just like Hiro knew it would—

"Why didn't I think of that?" Shuichi snapped sounding like his cheery self.

" 'Cause you're crazy…" Hiro replied snidely. Shuichi got up and ran to the door.

"C'mon man, what are you waiting for… let's go!" He yelled.

"Shuichi, is six-thirty in the morning, there are no record stores open at this hour." Hiro added matter of fact.

"Holy shit… I can't wait until ten… I gotta go now!" The singer whined. Hiro's phone rang, he answered and spoke into it for a few minutes, then hung up and turned back to Shu.

"What did Seguchi say?" Shu chanted already knowing who it was.

"That we'll be a hit, that we have his complete support and that he won't let us fade." Hiro smiled with that puppy face he always got every time he thought of his lover.

"Do you want that?" Shuichi's face turned serious.

"Of course not!" Hiro snapped, " I want to shine on my own! Because I have something to offer, not because my rich producer lover pays anybody off!"

"I thought so. But how would you stop him from doing it?"

"Tohma wouldn't do that to me, but just in case I warned him." Hiro replied knowing full well that his lover would not dare to interfere more than he already had. Now it was all up to them.

Shuichi's phone rang this time; he looked at his ID and was surprised to see Fujisaki bothering him bright and early. "It's Suguru," He announced to Hiro as he replied. "Hey! You ready for the big day man?" He listened for a few moments nodding, "Hiro and I are going around town, I can't stay here growing roots," He listened some more, "Don't worry man, we'll guise ourselves… yeah come by later… hey, call me before you do ne?" The singer listened for a few more moment than hung up.

"So, what's he doing?" Hiro asked.

"He's staying put. He said there's no point in risking recognition and causing a riot." Shu laughed, "He's so uptight!"

"That kid… sometimes I wonder how old he really is?" Hiro smirked.

"Yeah, me too, he acts like an old man. I bet he'll die before hitting forty" Shu laughed.

"Or he might outlive us all" Hiro laughed as well.

"Anyway… what store should we hit first?"

"The one where I met Tohma for the first time… I think that place was our lucky ticket to stardom." Hiro replied without thinking twice.

"Your lucky ticket to get laid on a nightly basis you mean." Shu smirked.

"Said the jealous soul." Hiro quip.

"Whatever… about we hit Amano-san's store. God knows the man gave us enough credit when we were making peanuts at the club." Shuichi suggested excitedly.

"Oh yeah! We should autograph some cd's and take some pics for him to hang on the wall!" Hiro added as excitedly.

"Yeah, like he would want that!" Shu laughed.

"Why wouldn't he? We're hot right now."

"Hiro, the only one who thinks you're hot is Seguchi, and the man clearly needs glasses." Shuichi teased.

"Oh yeah, I should say the same about Sakuma Ryuichi, the poor guy is getting blind in his old age." Since coming back from the trip, Hiro hadn't ask about Ryu or the juvenile scene they made at the ping pong match in Hokkaido, but he had been teasing him a lot with the older singer. Shu wondered whether he should tell his friend that Ryu and him straightened out their feelings for each other and were now just friends. Although telling Hiro would give way for him to go back to tease him with a certain asshole he better not think about_… oh, what the hell?_

"Ryu doesn't need glasses, and he's not into me anymore." The phone rang again, Shu looked at it and smirked.

"No! What happened? Did he get contacts and realize how ugly you are?" Hiro joked.

"No… let's just say he likes holy man now a days." Shu smirked getting the phone. "What's up Fujisaki?" Shuichi listened to the teen making gestures with his hand for him to get on with it.

"You mean he's taking that jerk Tatsuha over you?" Hiro interrupted wanting very much to gossip about it.

"No Suguru, Tatsuha is not here, Hiro just ask me something." Shuichi turned sharply to his friend and gave him a warning look.

"So?" Hiro insisted. Shuichi nodded and Hiro started making mocking gestures to Shuichi's annoyance.

"Cool, we'll wait for you, but I'm warning you I'm already stressed out, so you better make it snappy!" Shuichi snapped, then hung up. "You're such a jerk you know that?" He turned to Hiro who was still laughing.

"So is Suguru coming with?" Shuichi nodded adding nothing further.

"So, clarify this for me. Sakuma gave up on you because of that asshole?"

"Isn't life a bitch?" Shuichi said between his teeth.

"Man, the kid must be good." Hiro snickered; he couldn't understand for the life of him what was it about Uesugi Tatsuha that people found so irresistible. Granted, he was good looking, but his personality countered all his good looks in Hiro's view.

"Why don't you give it try?" Shu asked none too pleased with Hiro's teasing.

"I'm not a pedophile, plus why would I trade my Tohma for a Yuki Eiri cheap clone?" Shu fell silent; he looked at his watch uncomfortably. Hiro noticed the change in him at the mere mention of the mangaka. He wished Shuichi would forget him once and for all, but knew that in love, things did not always had to make sense.

"Sorry man, that was way out of line." Hiroshi muttered in apology.

"Sorry for what? It's true, although the original isn't that big of a deal either. I'm waiting half an hour, if Fujisaki doesn't make it, I'm going without him." Shu changed the subject.

"It's early still, what are you going to do wandering the streets 'till ten?"

"I can't take it man!" Shuichi whined pulling his hair.

X

Suguru came in some time later carrying loads of breakfast. The other two members of Bad Luck couldn't be more thankful for it as they took the food from the teen and carried it to the table.

"Some day you'll be a great wife." Shuichi joked setting on the table what he was carrying and sitting in his usual place, immediately helping himself.

"And someday, you might be a wife at all." Suguru quipped snidely.

"Shut up!" Shu snapped.

"You shut up!" Suguru spat back, sparks flew between the two knuckleheads.

"You both shut up!" Hiro slammed the palm of his hands forcefully on the table, making the two turn to him with wide eyes, "If you two are going to behave like this all day I'm not coming along." The longhaired man wondered if they were going to get like this every time they got together, if so… he better buy some hair dye.

"No man! What are you saying? We have to go together… remember our dream dude!" Shuichi begged with watery eyes, and Suguru just rolled his eyes at their proud 'leader'.

"Where is Tohma-kun?" Suguru asked looking around for his cousin, ignoring the crying man sitting next to him.

"He left really early to get ready… you know about these things better than I do." Hiro replied eating some soba.

"I can't believe he's actually staying here!" Suguru marveled.

"Why you say that?"

"Are you kidding me? His bedroom closet is bigger than this room! Damn, his office is bigger than this room… you guys seen it"

"His office is not _that_ big" Shuichi said unimpressed.

"Well, I must have something he can't resist ne?" Hiro winked at the teen.

"Please… don't put that kind of pictures in my head on the most important day of my life." Shuichi stated halting his hand.

"He's getting a place in a couple of weeks." Hiro continued nonchalantly.

"Oh… so you talked to Sakuma-san?" Suguru turned to Shuichi changing the subject.

"No, was I supposed to?"

"Grasper is releasing today as well… man the press is talking about nothing else."

"Yeah, but to them is not the same," Shu observed.

"I know Tohma-kun don't care, but Sakuma-san… you figure he'd be exited.!"

"I haven't seen him." Shuichi lied, choosing to keep the meeting from the night before to himself. Fujisaki didn't need to know about Ryuichi's plan to sweep Tatsuha off his feet today.

"We should get going." Hiro interrupted the two. He got up and went towards his room. "I'm going to guise, you guys do the same."

"I didn't bring anything to guise myself with." Suguru admitted worriedly.

"You weren't planning in going as yourself were you Fujisaki-kun? Weren't you the one who told me not to risk recognition, remember? As uncool as you might be, you're still in Bad Luck… people can recognize your ugly self." Shuichi quipped graciously.

"Can I borrow something from you Hiro-kun?" Suguru shouted at the departing man, turning his back on Shuichi to show him just how funny he thought his joke was.

"Sure come with me," Shuichi stared at the two and a big smile spread across his face… _Finally… one of my dreams is about to come true!_ The fear he'd harbored these past few days melted away, and gave way to an overwhelming excitement that threatened to make his heart burst… _If only my other dream …_

XXX

"So, Here's the plan; we'll hit a couple of stores in guise, just to see what's up, and then we'll make an unannounced appearance at the old store Shu and I used to hang at." Hiro said as he drove the busy streets of the Shinjuku district.

"Are we even allowed to do that?" Suguru asked shocked.

"Why wouldn't we? But even if we're not, I don't give a fuck! I'm going to Amano-san's store and cause a riot!" Shuichi's eyes shinned with anticipation.

"We'll deal with the repercussions later." Hiro added winking at the worried teen.

"If you two are going to take responsibility. I guess it'll be fine." Suguru said getting as exited. Hiro saw a record store with a huge line waiting for the shop to open. They looked at each other and smiled like idiots. Hiro parked the car wherever he could, and throwing sunglasses and hats on, they went out to face the crowd.

Shuichi had no problem getting around the countless young boys and girls—who by all means looked as if they'd skipped class, some were even wearing uniforms-- Hiro and Suguru just leaned on a wall across the street drinking everything in, while waiting for their extroverted leader to return with the scoop.

After several minutes, Shu crossed the street running, almost getting hit by a car in the process. "Holy shit! Every person I talked to is buying both Grasper and Bad Luck's albums… and believe you me, I talked to a _lot_ of people!" The singer gushed excitedly. "I didn't even hear Mikka Costa's name… and Oh my god! They have a huge poster of us right on the front door! Not even Grasper's poster is so huge!" Shu let out almost about to pass out.

"Yeah… Tohma told me he's pushing Bad Luck a bit harder than Grasper." Hiro noted, his eyes shinned with happiness as well, "I gotta go and see for myself!" He ran across the street as well, Suguru eyed Shuichi and the two ran after him as well. The day had just begun, and it was already looking great for the fresh band with the happy-go-lucky lyrics of love.

XXX

"Seguchi-sama!" Sakano came running into his boss' office like a bat out of hell. Tohma wasn't too surprised, since the man was such a nerve wreck, but this time he positively looked scared.

"What's the matter Sakano-san?" The producer asked not very interested, he'd been trying to call Hiro for the past hour and was getting no answer.

"Please look at this!" The man turned on the TV and changed it to the mid-day news.

"…_We're here at Amano's record store in the Harajuku district. Where swarms of fans are fighting their way to get inside the small shop and see the popular band Bad Luck. Who is releasing their debut album titled **Gravity** today. _

_The album is being produced by the biggest record label in Japan "NG Records" owned by no less than Seguchi Tohma, member of the legendary band Nittle Grasper. Who are also releasing a Collection of Hits today as well. And after three years of absence from the charts, they are gracing us with three new songs, one of which, is a collaboration with Bad Luck. This is very exiting news, since this is something Nittle Grasper has never done before… but back to our topic. Bad Luck apparently just showed up unannounced and caused a riot as fans got word of the surprise signing session. Apparently, the band members used to get their own CD's here before they hit stardom_

The camera moved from the reporter and focused on the riot outside the small shop. Tohma smiled inwardly thinking it was just like Shuichi to come up with a stunt like that—not even imagining that it had been Hiro in fact who came up with the scheme-- but put on a stern face for his hardest working manager.

"Why is your band holding a signing session and you're not there with them Sakano-san?" The man was rendered speechless yet again by the charismatic producer. "Why did you come here to show me this? If I were you, I'd get over there and keep them from screwing up. Sakano almost tripped and fall as he ran out the door to do his bosses' bidding, cursing himself again for letting him down.

"I am so sorry Seguchi-sama," Sakano popped his head and said a second later, then disappeared before the mogul could even realize what had just happened.

Tohma sat back and sighed, whishing very much he could be there with Hiro, sharing his moment in the sun with him, and telling him how proud he was.

"…_We were finally able to get through the crowd and inside the store to talk to our young stars!" _Tohma turned his attention back to the screen, and watched the three sitting at an improvised signing area. "_ Shindou-san! Please give our audience a few words!" _The woman shoved the mic at Shuichi, who grabbed it from her and turned to the camera smirking evilly.

"_You people better buy our album or I'm coming to eat your souls mwhahahahaha!" _Shuichi laughed maniacally into the cameraTohma laughed loud, setting his eyes on Hiro, who sat next to the crazy kid. Shuichi gave him the mic, and his longhaired love just smiled waiving at the camera.

"_I love you T… don't be mad at me, it was all Shu's idea!"_ it was all he said, and then he handed the mic to Suguru who took it rolling his eyes. Tohma put his hand over his mouth to keep the laughter from growing louder, he felt so overwhelmed with love for Hiro that it ought to be a sin.

"_Thank you all for your support, and we hope our album is everything you, our fans, hope for it to be."_ Suguru said respectfully, bowing low and eyeing Shuichi embarrassed, as the singer kept on laughing like a maniac with some fans in the background.

…_Well, there you have it Japan, buy their album or your souls will be eaten by an angry Shindou Shuichi… although, I wouldn't mind having my soul eaten by such a stud… Back to you studio. _

XXX

Yuki turned off the television and threw the remote to it frustrated. It seemed that he could not escape Shindou Shuichi, even in the sanctuary of his own office. Throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling, he pictured once more the last meeting he and the singer had, to get his anger going, but no such luck, the frustration was stronger than his resolve to hate the beautiful man.

He'd come to work early to escape from Mikka and her nagging, he drew all morning until his finger were numb, so he'd taken a small break to put his ideas in order and to give his fingers a well deserved break. But instead of relaxing, he got more exasperated as he watched the mid-day news and saw _him_. Enjoying himself, flirting with the whole county… Shuichi looked so good… and happy, it made his heart ache.

Yuki had not been able to take him out of his mind since he came back from Hokkaido. His only consolation was that Shuichi had been as depressed as he, but judging by what he saw just now, that didn't seem to be the case anymore. He should be glad that the kid had forgotten about him and moved on, but he was not. He wanted Shuichi to need him, to obsess about him just like he did.

"_What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ Yuki asked himself with a small ironic laugh, he sighed deeply willing his heart to harden back to its stone cold self. _"Wasn't this what you wanted?"_ He whispered to himself then opened his eyes and smiled_ "…Coming to eat your souls huh?" _Yuki repeated lowly, _"hmph… you already swallowed mine."_ He stood and walked to his desk determined, then dialed a number

XXX

"Shit… I've never seen record stores so packed before!" Shuichi sighed, throwing himself on a couch exhausted. After going from store to store to wind up at Amano's and having the most massive, improvised signing session and interview, he was about ready to pass out.

"Most people were wearing Grasper shirts though." Suguru added matter-of-factly.

"Shut up! There was a lot of Bad Luck fans too," Shu snapped feeling warm all over at the memory of a girl wearing his face across her chest.

"Yeah, and don't forget the attack of the killer Kumagoros!" Hiro laughed holding the bunny he picked from the floor. "I'm giving this one to Tohma." He added happily holding the plush close.

"Yeah… I'm sure Seguchi would like that very much." Shu mocked.

" I didn't know they mass produced them." Suguru said amazed, he'd never seen one save the worn out bunny Sakuma Ryuichi carried everywhere.

"Of course they mass produce them you dork! Where do you think Ryuichi got his to begin with? I bet though, they started selling a hell of a lot more of them since Ryuichi started carrying Kuma-chan everywhere!" Shuichi laughed.

"I think they're even called Kumagoros now." Hiro observed looking at the tag.

"Shit I want something to be mass produced and named after me!" Shuichi sighed jealously.

"We know its not going to be condoms." Hiro smirked.

"Shut up you… oversexed asshole!" Shuichi threw a cushion at his friend.

"Hey… the truth hurts." The longhaired man threw it back.

"Anyway… how do you think we did? Amano's is just one store, remember Mikka Costa and Grasper released today as well" Suguru took the cushion and held on to it so they wouldn't keep on throwing it back and forth.

"I don't know, but I saw a lot of people getting Grasper's and Bad Luck's cd together." Shuichi got serious.

"Me too, and curiously enough, I didn't see many people getting Mikka Costa's album." Hiro noted with a smirk to Shuichi.

"That's because she's a bitch!" Shuichi spat, remembering her little snide smile at Hokkaido.

"The fact that she is the love of your ex's life, doesn't make her a bitch, or a bad artist for that matter," Hiro eyed his friend.

" Listen Hiro, I'm fucking tired of you throwing shit on my face every chance you get, Yuki Eiri and I were never together, and will never be together! It was a one night stand gone wrong, so give it a fucking rest already!" Shuichi spat at his friend infuriated. Suguru looked form one to the other sensing tension between the two.

"I thought you liked him and he knew about it, but… I didn't know you actually slept with him," the teen let out in awe.

"You too!" Shuichi turned viciously towards the younger man. "Fuck you both!" The singer yelled and got up to go. The door almost hit him as it opened and Seguchi Tohma made his way in, taking in the tense sight.

"Sorry I'm late, I had loads to do… what's going on?" He asked eying Hiro. The said guitar player came to his lover and gave him a tender kiss on the forehead.

"Nothing important… look I got this for you." He held the Kumagoro doll, Tohma took it and stared at it stupefied, then turned to Shuichi.

"That was quite a show you guys put on." The producer said seriously.

"You saw that Tohma-kun?" Suguru asked scared.

"Yes, and so did half Japan, I got the ratings from the news cast." He turned to Hiro again and smiled "Half Japan is wondering who _'T'_ is." Hiro smiled wide. It gave Shuichi a toothache just to see it

"I didn't know you were going to be here, I thought Sakano-san was going to meet us here." Shuichi said wiping off the stupid puppy in love look from their faces.

"He's here, I left him talking to the producers of the show to clarify a misunderstanding." Tohma replied.

"What misunderstanding is that?" Shuichi asked still upset. Tohma looked at him sternly, not appreciating the tone the young singer had used. Shu realized this and immediately lowered his head, "I'm sorry… I just had a very rough day." He apologized.

"It didn't seem that way to me, but regardless, don't let them get to you. You will have plenty more, and it wouldn't be wise to go off on people because of it." The producer replied nonchalantly and turned to his lover.

"I wanted you guys to do an interview rather than performing this time around, but it seems that Mikka's manager beat us to it. She will be a panelist, while you will perform a song at the end of the show… like last time.

"Wow… dejavu…" Hiro let out, "Since you said we'd be interviewed, we're not ready to do a song.

"I know, Sakano is talking to the producers of the show as we speak, if worst comes to worst, we'll get your equipment, that's not a problem, but I don't want to let them think they can push you around." Tohma said matter of fact.

"What song should we play?" Suguru asked, he would much rather perform than be interviewed, especially in the mood Shuichi was in.

"But why can't Mikka Costa play? She has not promoted her album nearly enough." Shuichi whined.

"That's not for us to decide," Tohma said, "She's not much of a live act. In any case, we have to be ready for anything.

"She's a fake!" Shuichi blurted and walked back to the couch. The other two just looked at him but said nothing.

"Shuichi," Tohma began after a while, " You have to take control of your emotions, "The singer turned sharply to his boss, "You can't let your personal life take precedence over your professional one. You are no longer entitled to these petty emotions. Tough it up, and put on a big fake smile for your fans… you're a pro now, and that's what you're expected to do." Hiro expected his friend to blow up, and Suguru pretty much took cover behind a couch and waited for the storm to hit… it never did. Shuichi kept his eyes on Tohma, and then lowered them to stare at the ground.

"I know," was all he could say. At that moment, Sakano came in with a scared look on his face—as usual—

"No good, they cannot change the set up in such short notice. They need a performing act, and they been running advertisement for the show's line up since yesterday. They said they already did you a favor by fitting us in such short notice Seguchi-san." Sakano said in a grave tone.

"I think we should do Blade." Shuichi blurted surprising them all. "I want to do something new and upbeat, Glaring dream is a ballad, so the pop contrast will be great."

"That's the spirit." Tohma smiled, "But Blade is scheduled to be your forth single, you can't bypass the other two." The producer reasoned.

"_No Style_ is upbeat too." Suguru added, referring to their next single.

"Then _No Style_ it is!" Shuichi smiled, giving his band mates the thumbs up. Sakano's phone rang, he answered it and listened for a few moments

"I understand, they are here now, let me run it by them… hold on," He put a hand on the mouthpiece and turned to Tohma completely white.

"Costa-san just pulled out. Her manager just phoned, she'll be on next week's show, but right now they need a panelist to cover for her, so they want Bad Luck to do both an interview and a live performance."

"You are their manager Sakano, I believe that decision is yours." Tohma replied dryly, mad at Mikka for being so irresponsible. "Did she say why can't she make it?" The blonde producer asked annoyed.

"They can't tell me anything about that, perhaps if you talked to them Seguchi-san…"

"It doesn't matter one way or the other." Tohma waived a hand at that idea.

"I'm cool with it." Shuichi added turning to Hiro who just nodded, Suguru did the same, "Yeah, we'll do it… more exposure for us." He replied turning to Sakano. Glad that he wouldn't have to share the same show with Mikka again. Hard a he tried, he could not get the image of that passionate kiss she shared with Yuki in Hokkaido out of his mind

"Good!" The manager exclaimed and got on the phone. "Aright, Bad Luck will be the final guest, and after a few questions will perform a song," Sakano stated after hanging up, then turning to Tohma, "I already arranged for their equipment to be brought and installed. Since the show is live, there will be a rehearsal at seven -thirty… we're not needed until then. The show starts at nine, and we'll be on at about ten-thirty."

"I don't know why you're telling me this Sakano, this is between you and your band." Tohma replied a bit harshly, and then turned to Hiro ignoring the man's apologies.

"Let's go get some dinner love, I'll bring you on time."

"Great! I'm starving." The longhaired guitarist mouthed grabbing his jacket.

"I'll go ahead, meet me out back in ten minutes." The producer said caressing the side of Hiro's face without any concern of who was looking.

"Why? Gotta call your mistress?" Hiro asked arching a brow.

"More like a pain on my side I would say." Tohma smiled giving Hiro a quick peck, then going out.

"Let's go have some dinner… luuuuv" Shuichi mimicked Tohma perfectly, "What, you got promoted?"

Hiro just shook his head. "You need to grow up, no wonder you can't find a man."

"Ooh… c'mere luuuv," Shuichi chanted smacking his lips as he pressed his way to Hiro.

"Get away from me man!" Hiro pushed his friend as far away as he could, to keep him from actually kissing him.

"Who is Seguchi-san going to call?" Sakano interrupted the quarrel sounding very concerned.

"Mikka Costa, who else?" Hiro replied still wrestling with Shu.

"Shindou-san, you're such a child." Suguru noted none too pleased with their leader.

"And you're so uptight! Are you jealous? Do you want me to kiss you instead?"

"You wish" Suguru mumbled under his breath.

"… Anyways, what the hell are you doing here luv? Go and get the scoop!" Shuichi let go of Hiro and snapped pushing Hiro towards the door anxiously.

"I'm not an eavesdropper, if Tohma wants me to know he will tell me." Hiro replied.

"You suck…what good are you? And why are you the one with all the connections?" Shu pouted.

"All right losers, Tohma should be done, so I'll see you later," Hiro said smacking Shuichi on the head, waived and took off.

XXX

When he got to the back exit. Tohma was still on the phone. Hiro immediately noticed his lover's ashen face. Tohma turned to him and caressed his face not missing a word of what whomever he was talking to was saying.

"I'll talk to you later, I have more important things to do now," Tohma said abruptly and hang up.

"Is everything alright?" Hiro asked watching Tohma's worried expression.

"Eiri and Mikka set a date to get married," Hiro didn't know what to say.

"Are you sad?" The blonde man snapped his eyes to his lover's.

"Is not what you think," He kissed Hiro tenderly on the lips, "I love Eiri, but is another kind of love now, you are the light of my life, and don't you ever doubt it." He kissed him again, more deeply this time. "Eiri doesn't love her, I know he's doing it for the wrong reasons."

"Shuichi will be heart broken, I don't care what he say, but I know he's really hung up on Eiri-san." Hiro said lowly, feeling bad or his friend.

"I'll talk to Eiri." Tohma stated.

"I think you should let those two solve their issues on their own."

"You don't know Eiri like I do, he'd rather die than to give in. he thinks is weak to show his emotions and to tell other what he feels"

"It might be true, but you can't make his decisions for him, or fix his mistakes, just like I can't lead Shuichi by the hand."

"I know I shouldn't, but I can't stand and watch him make the biggest mistake of his life and do nothing about it."

"How do you know is the biggest mistake? For all we know a family might be just what he needs." Tohma stared at Hiro as if he didn't know him.

"Let's not tell Shuichi until I talk to Eiri." Tohma suggested.

"I won't, is not my place, but I think he should know. Maybe that'll make the knuckle head swallow his pride and admit that he loves him."

"Would he?" Tohma asked hopeful.

"Hmph, knowing Shuichi, he might find a bride of his own out of spite."

"Then we keep it to ourselves, I'd hate to have two mistakes to deal with."

XXX

Yuki walked in the room as Mikka hanged the phone, "He's a jerk!" She mumbled to herself.

"Who is?" Yuki asked bending down and kissing the top of her head.

"Tohma, I was supposed to do an interview tonight and I backed out. I swear I have no idea how does he finds out everything." She complained, holding the back his head when he tried to stand, and kissing him on the lips.

"He called you?" Yuki smirked thinking his ex must really be mad.

"Yes! Like is any of his business. I have a manager; I don't have to explain myself to him. Besides, why does he care so much? I'm sure he has better things to do with his time than to harass me." Mikka's blood was beginning to boil. Tohma had never been at the top of her list, even more so now, but she had to admit that he was the best at what he did, and there was no one better to work for, and that got her even angrier.

"You're so angry… did he say he'd spank you? Because if it's a spanking you need…" Yuki teased, finding her infused face amusing.

"It's not funny Eiri! If he's got so much time in his hands, he should use it to call Mika."

"Well, you do work under NG, if you look bad, he looks bad. Have you thought about that?" The mangaka went into the kitchen and got himself a beer, he came back shortly after and sat next to his fuming fiancé. "Besides, why would you back out? I would think you'd want to promote your album." He continued, as he hadn't left.

"I do, but my life and my relationship are more important than a stupid interview. Besides Bad Luck is going to be in the same show, and I don't want to be thrown in the same melting pot as them." Yuki chuckled at the real source for her behavior, but in reality all humor had left him. Just to remember about Shuichi sitting on that Sakuma's lap was enough to make his skin crawl.

"I thought they were good," He added, Mikka looked at him horrified.

"You do know Tohma is lovers with one of them do you?"

"What does that have to do with then as artists? I think they're alright, even though they're morons." He continued as nonchalantly as he could, but each word cut his throat.

Mikka on the other hand, noticed the way her fiancé always got when Shuichi Shindou was even mentioned. And now was no exception, even though Eiri was trying to act normal, he could not fool her… she knew him too well. The things that Mika told her came back to her once again, that night in '_First Stage'_ and of course the show he had put on in Hokkaido. She hadn't said anything and had played along with the overly affectionate display of affection Eiri had never, ever shown before, she was actually waiting for the right time to ask him about it. Now that they were to be married, she wanted to clear every doubt from her mind.

"Nothing I guess," She replied noticing that Eiri was staring at her strangely, "But I consider myself a better artist, and I don't want to be in the same show as them. I rather stay here with you and celebrate our engagement." She scooted over and began kissing her way down his neck.

"We did… years ago." Yuki whispered, throwing his head back to allow her more access. Which she took by straddling him and opening his shirt to kiss lower.

"But now I finally know when I'll get to wear my dress." Mikka breathed as she ran her tongue over his collarbone. Yuki closed his eyes wishing he could stop thinking about the stupid kid at least for a second.

"Mikka, don't go overboard with the wedding. I just want a simple ceremony, with as little guests as possible." Mikka sat up abruptly and looked at him with pure hurt in her eyes.

"I have waited for the day I'd get to walk down the isle with you ever since I was a teenager… you can't do this to me Eiri." She said almost crying. She'd already chosen her wedding gown, wedding theme, bride's mates, and even the menu. Mikka had dreamed about the day she'd become Mrs. Uesugi ever since she could remember, and she was not about to let no one rob her of the happiest and most important day of her life… not even Eiri.

"Do we really need all the pomp, isn't just getting married enough?" He asked eying her, regretting having brought up the subject.

"Yes we do!" She insisted stubbornly.

"Don't you want to televise it too?" Yuki was beginning to get annoyed.

"If it's possible." Mikka replied crossly, getting mad as well. Yuki got to his feet and walked away before he said something he might regret.

"Where are you going?" He turned to her with a cold look in his eyes.

"To take a shower, you can come if you want to. I'll have something to eat, and then I'll sit right on that spot," Yuki pointed to the couch, "And I'm going to watch that show.

XXX

"Where the hell were you man! I kept calling and calling. You'd figure since you were with the boss you'd be on time." Shuichi lashed at Hiro as soon as the longhaired man made his entrance.

"I'm here now right?" Hiro replied smiling, trying to hide his worry from the singer.

"Dude! Do you take anything seriously?" Shuichi continued snapping.

"Of course… I take my horoscope seriously. C'mon man, lighten up!"

"Fuck you! Just go and change. We couldn't even rehearse because you were somewhere fucking the boss!" Hiro didn't take too kindly to the comment, especially since he and Tohma had not even enjoyed dinner for being stressing over Shuichi and his live problems. He came to his friend, getting on his face menacingly.

"I'm fucking tired of your bitching! What I do with Tohma or with your mother for that matter isn't any of your business. We're friends, but that doesn't give you the right to be an asshole." Shuichi was taken aback by Hiro's aggressiveness, and so was Suguru who had been lingering silently in the background.

"I'm sorry man. I'm just nervous that's all. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Shuichi apologized taking a step back. Hiro moved to change without saying a word. "The equipment is all ready to go." Shu added lightly, trying to get back in Hiro's good graces.

"Which guitar did I get?" Hiro asked back to his composed self.

"The purple one." Suguru replied.

"Cool!" Hiro exclaimed, "Just the one I wanted!" he smiled, giving Shuichi the thumbs up

X

They got ready and sat back stage going over the script they were given. It was essentially the same scrip Mikka Costa had had, minus the Yuki Eiri related questions. Shu could still see them scratched out.

"So, tell me Shindou-san, when _will_ the wedding be?" Hiro joked reading one of the questions destined for his rival.

"Can it man! I'll kick your ass"

"Hey! That's payback for all the Tohma related bad jokes." Hiro retort.

XXX

Finally their time came and the show host announced them. Shuichi felt such a rush of adrenaline. No matter how many times they did this, it would never cease to make him lightheaded, to make his blood rush through his veins.

Shuichi was the first to walk on stage, followed by Hiro and Suguru. The crowd screamed and applauded. This was so much different from 'First Stage" This time people knew who they were, their names. Shuichi waived at the crowd as they chanted their names to call their attention.

"Bad Luck everyone!" The host stood and bowed to them as if they were royalty, as they came to the panel. They bowed back, and then turned to the crowd and bowed to them as well before taking their sits. "Well, well, well. We finally get the honor of having the hottest act around in our show." The man greeted as soon as they were sited.

"I don't know about being the hottest act around, but it's certainly an honor to be here." Shuichi replied coolly, leaving all his nerves behind.

"We all know who you are, but would you mind introducing your band for our crowd?" The room came alive with screams from the eager fans. Shuichi smiled broadly waiving back at them.

"To my right, is the very talented, and very young keyboardist Fujisaki Suguru," The audience yelled and screamed Suguru's name. The teen – who really didn't know how popular he was—blushed and waived shyly, bowing respectfully to the crowd. "This one here," Shu continued once the screams subsided, "Is not only my best friend, and by far the most mature member of the band, but is also the smartest person I know; Nakano Hiroshi in guitar." The crowd went wild. Hiro was rather shocked to see the response he was getting, he had never stopped to think about it before, and it felt good to know he was so well liked. He stood and bowed to the screaming girls, and this set them off even more. "And lastly, little 'ol me Shindou Shuichi in vocals." Nothing could prepare the young singer for the overwhelming welcome he got from the audience. The noise was positively deafening. Women screamed and confessed their love to him; a few flowers were thrown to the stage. It almost brought the young man to tears. He stood and bowed; waived like an idiot, until it all seemed too much to take. "Wow…wow," He didn't know what to say, "This is all too much," Shu managed to mumble as he bowed again, "Please settle down, you guys are making me blush." He kept on bowing and waiving, and trying to signal them to settle down.

XXX

"Look at that! If I didn't know better I'd think he's actually somebody." Mikka let out jealously. Yuki just stared calmly, but he was feeling nothing but. Shuichi looked better and better everywhere he laid eyes on him. The partly open red silk shirt, the black leather pants, made him look right out of a fantasy.

"_Alright, settle down please!" _The host called, trying to make himself heard above the crowd. "_You do want me to interview them right_?" The crowd settled, "_ So, your album finally hit stores today… how do you think you're doing?"_

"_Oh man! We didn't know we were so …popular!"_ Shuichi gushed, making Yuki almost wince at the sight of the beautiful smile that kept coming back to hunt him. Making him realize now, that it hadn't change at all from when he saw it for the very first time all those years ago.

"Oh, you are! But tell me Shindou-kun, what was it like to work with Nittle Grasper. It was in the very same stage that Seguchi Tohma said they would not pick a band to collaborate with. That it would be unfair to all the talented bands out there to pick just one… tell me how did you guys pull off such a big feat being the 'new' guys?" 

"Yeah, I tell you how they pulled it off!" Mikka spat resentfully, Yuki shifted his eyes to her for a second, then went back to stare at the screen.

"_Well, as you know, we are signed under NG records. Their current president… their only president."_ Shuichi corrected himself, and then turned to Hiro, "_Has NG had any other presidents?"_ He asked jokingly making the crowd laugh.

Hiro shrugged, _"I don't think so."_ and in the same jokingly manner turned to Suguru, _"Fujisaki?"_ And the crowd laughed louder. Suguru rolled his eyes at the two, furthering the seemingly rehearsed 'joke'

"_No,"_ He replied rolling his eyes again, stating what his band mates and the crowd obviously already knew.

"Anyways…" Shuichi continued to stop the audience's laughter, "Seguchi-san scouted us himself at the club we used to play every weekend, he gave us his card, we called, and the rest is history."

"Is not so, the public hardly know how you happen to meet the greatest band Japan has ever seen, there is a lot of speculation, but no concrete info from any of the involved parties, namely you guys." The host pressed for a straight answer.

"_Ooh you sound so formal, Hideo-san!" _Shuichi gushed again eliciting more laughter from the audience.

"How is it what he's saying funny? I don't get it, are these low class women stupid?" Mikka commented furious, regretting very much giving them all the spotlight.

"_Seguchi-san introduced us to Ryu-kun, he saw me sing, and I guess I reminded him of himself when he was, you know… not that great. He felt sorry for me and decided to help me out by teaching me a thing or two about singing, before we knew it, we teamed up and did the song." _Shuichi ended his 'not so accurate' recount of the facts by bowing. The crowd went wild again. Hearing the 'true' story on how the two bands met was more than they hoped for.Mikka began laughing hysterically.

"The kid's a good liar, I give him that much…he felt sorry for me… that's rich! I bet you he worked his share of the deal with Sakuma!" Yuki snapped his eyes to her wanting very much to slap her. "And the other one is still paying his share with Tohma," The woman continued sarcastically, "I tell you, that is how untalented people get in this business." She ended fixing her gaze on the television set once more.

"Yeah… that's exactly right." Yuki added tightly, remembering the time he got Tohma to sing her to NG to get her off his hair. Tohma had been very skeptical, but in the end he had won out in exactly the same way she was implying.

"_Amazing!" _Exclaimed the host, _"And who wrote such an amazing song… did you Shindou-kun, or was it Sakuma-san?"_

"_Oh no! Neither Ryuichi nor myself can take credit for that one. In fact Shinning Collection was written and arranged by the most talented person I've ever had the pleasure to work with." _

"_Even more talented than Sakuma-san!"_ The man asked amazed.

"_Hey, I didn't say that! You're gonna get me in trouble with Ryu-kun"_ Shuichi whined and everyone laughed, _"It was Seguchi-san who wrote it, he and Ryuichi have different type of talents, they're both the best at what they do. Kumagoro would agree with me on this one… Hi Kuma-chan!"_ Shuichi turned to the camera and waived at the bunny, he was sure Ryuichi was watching him, and knowing that made him feel better.

Yuki watched beside himself with jealousy, he was now positive that the two singers were a little more than singing partners. And even if that shouldn't matter to him, it did… a lot.

"_It would be such an honor to have Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper play such a wondrous song together on our stage for us." _The host continued, snapping Yuki out of his thoughts.

"_Hey… we just might." _Shuichi half smiled, and everyone went wild, "_I said we MIGHT." _Shuichi tried to calm down the crowd, _"I'll put our special agent to start the beggin' ne Hiro?" _Shuichi turned to his friend.

"_Right," _The guitarist rolled his eyes at his friend, but he was actually looking forward to play with Tohma on the same stage. Of course he would never tell Shuichi that, lest he'd pester until he got Tohma to arrange something. That he would never do, he'd bowed long ago that he would never use his relationship with Tohma to get any special treatment for the band.

"We all know 'who' that special agent is!" Mikka spat disgustedly, "I should have done the damn interview!" She continued furious.

"I don't understand why didn't you." Yuki managed to sound normal in spite of the rage he felt toward Shuichi, Sakuma, Tohma… all of them.

"_Now tell me, leaving your career aside for a moment. How are you dealing personally with your sudden success?" _The man asked, both Hiro and Shuichi looked at one another trying to decide who would reply the unscripted question.

"_Pretty normal I'd say, as opposed as what many might think." _Hiro began. _"We've met a lot of cool people and done many amazing things that we wouldn't have otherwise, but for the most part our lives are pretty normal."_

"If by ruining marriages, he means normal… I guess he is right.: Mikka commented. Yuki was two seconds away form telling her to shut the fuck up, but then again… what the hell did he care? He no longer had anything to do with any of them. He kept his eyes on the screen trying his best to ignore her.

_How about your love lives, have they been normal as well?" _The crowd cheered showing their interest on the subject. The three-band members seemed surprised that people actually cared that much. Yuki on the other hand, unconsciously moved a bit forward on his seat. Mikka noticed but said nothing. Shuichi laughed, looking at the other two,

"_We don't have time for love lives. We've been working very hard lately. Recording sessions, photo shoots, and promotions, we hardly have time to sleep. Actually this past week was the first break we've got since we signed with NG_". Suguru was quick to answer before Shuichi could say something moronic.

"_Oh come now, that's not what the public want s to hear," _The host encouraged, and the crowd screamed louder.

"Pretty normal love lives too, we're no better or worst than any other twenty some out there." Shuichi let out matter of fact, "We go through the same problems as anyone." 

"_Not the same I'm sure." _The host teased.

"_Yeah, actually," _Shuichi replied, _"Take me for instance, I got dumped not too long ago." _Everyone gasped in unison; stars did not share these type of confessions with their fans.

"_I don't believe that!" _Hideo-san exclaimed incuriously.

"_Yeah well, I guess we were not compatible or something stupid like that… So I'm single and looking,"_ Shu smiled to the audience who was positively going bonkers, _"Seriously though, the fact that we're in the public eye doesn't mean our lives are perfect… except for Hiro's," _Shu winked at this friend, who just rolled his eyes Suguru style, _"I Just want people to know that,"_ Shuichi concluded getting serious once more. _"So, hopefully we'll start touring in the beginning of summer. Our next video is scheduled to release next week, and I'm already writing material for our next album. So, as you can see we're working really had… you'll have Bad Luck 'till you can't take it no more!"_ Shuichi changed the subject swiftly, hoping Hideo-san would drop it.

Yuki sat staring at him baffled, was he talking about him, Or about Sakuma? Shuichi couldn't be talking about him; they never had a break up, or a relationship for that matter, still deep down he hoped it was so, for some reason he needed to know that the beautiful boy was suffering as well, as masochist as it may sound, it made him feel a little better.

"_We'll be looking forward to all you have in store for us."_ Hideo-san thankfully took Shu's bait and didn't peruse the previous subject.

"_Yeah? I'll ask you a year from now whether you're sick of us yet."_ Shuichi laughed going back to his outgoing self.

Yuki looked at Shuichi's face almost mesmerized. He had to recognize the kid had a gift, he could tell that the show host was completely taken by his infectious laugh and engaging personality. The mangaka wished—not for the first time—that things had gone different between them. He knew that was wishful thinking though, they were too different; they had nothing in common other than physical attraction for one another. As far as he was concerned Shuichi was much better off with Sakuma. The two singers were practically a match made in heaven, perfect for each other. Still, that didn't mean he didn't yearn for that lithe body under his once more, to hear Shuichi moan his name over and over in that godly voice of his, as he'd done that night.

The mangaka stared at the figure on the screen. Shuichi laughed and joked, he seemed so happy… and he was happy for him. This was his time in the sun and he deserved to enjoy it without all the baggage he brought along with him.

Yuki turned to Mikka-- who had been watching him—marrying her would do him good. There was no one in the world who cared more about him than she did. Tohma had, but he already moved on and was happy with someone who apparently deserved all the love his old lover had to give.

Yuki took the remote control form the coffee table and shut off the voice that would not let him be.

"What's wrong?" Mikka asked concerned, he'd seemed miles away just now, a look that one did not see too often on the blonde god's face.

"Nothing, what could be wrong?" He husked coming closer to her and kissing her deeply, "I'm sure we can find better things to do…" He kissed his way down her neck, spreading her legs apart to settle comfortably between them…

XXX

"So there you have it ladies and gentleman… Bad Luck! Let's give them a big round of applause" The host stood and applauded enthusiastically, "What song are you going to delight us with tonight?"

"Our next single "No Style'" Shuichi announce and they made their way to the stage. The crowd went wild. Shuichi gave his band members their cue once settled on their instruments.

The music began and the whole place went quiet, everyone listened respectfully. Shuichi had never felt better; these people were here to see them, to listen to their music. His heart swelled with emotion and he could feel the tears come. It was so difficult to get the words out, but he managed to give his best performance yet. But all the happiness he felt was overshadowed with one thought… _If only the one I love were here sharing this moment with me… if only…_

XXX

The show ended and they were a huge hit. The shows producer's announced that ratings had gone thirty present higher than predicted and they owed it all to them. The host—Hideo-san—even told them that he was glad Mikka Costa pulled out.

"Man, that was a great show!" Shuichi threw himself on a near by couch, they were in Hiro's dressing room, ready to plan how they would paint the town red.

"Yeah, it was great, but why do you always have to make everything about your personal life?" Suguru said a bit harshly.

"Because people care, when you're famous you have no personal life." Shuichi replied offhandedly, still too high on adrenaline to realize Suguru was really upset.

"Yeah, why didn't you tell them who dumped you? I bet they'd eat that right up." The teen spat.

"You know what Fjisaki? Whether I discuss my personal life or not, it's none of your business. Frankly man, why is it that you're never happy?" The singer sat up and stared at his band mate frustrated.

"I'm sure people care more about what's going on with the band, than what's _not_ happening on your bed."

"You know what? I'm tired of your bullshit." Shuichi lunged himself at the younger boy, fully intent to put him in his place once and for all. He never made it to his target, instead he was stopped by Hiro's chest.

"Both of you stop it right now!" The older band member snapped at the two. Suguru had also stepped forward ready to pound Shuichi, and was now on the other side of the human wall trying to get to Shuichi.

"He started it!" Shuichi yelled trying to hit Suguru.

"It isn't always about you! Who the hell gives a fuck about Yuki Eiri dumping your ass!" Suguru yelled back.

"That's it!" Shuichi pushed Hiro hard and got to Suguru, landing a good one on the teen's face. The younger boy stood faster than Hiro could react and hit Shuichi on the face as well.

"I said STOP!" Hiro grabbed the both of them, and threw them to opposite sides of the room, and turned to Suguru angrily. "You apologize right now! What the hell is the matter with you?" Suguru looked the other way, he knew he'd gone too far, but was too stubborn to admit it.

"Listen, the both of you! We made it, we released our first album, and we had our first headliner spot on a very popular show I might add. People are responding to us, and instead of being happy, we're fighting amongst ourselves. Do you want to end up like one of those countless bands who fade just because it's members cannot get along… do you?" Hiro turned his angry eyes from one to the other, waiting for a mature answer.

"He started it," Shu whispered in a small voice.

"And you continued it!" Hiro snapped.

"I'm sorry," Suguru blurted looking down to the floor, "I shouldn't have said that, I just feel that you bring too much of your personal problems, and sometimes the band suffers because of it."

"Shuichi looked at him angrily, but then his expression softened and he found himself staring a t the floor too, "I'll try not to in the future." He said lowly.

"Was that so hard?" Hiro asked turning from one to the other. Neither of the two knuckleheads said a word. "Alright! We're going to that karaoke bar Shuichi like so much, and we're gonna to drink until we puke!" Hiro exclaimed grabbing the two by the neck and pushing them towards the exit.

"I'm not old enough to drink." Suguru objected, already in a better mood.

"I won't tell if you don't, "Hiro eyed him mischievously. "I can invite that jerk you like so much if you want?" Suguru smiled broadly.

"You don't have to, the three of us is fine. That is if Shindou-san wants," Shuichi looked at them, all humor had left him, but he was willing to make things easier. Hiro was right, he did not want to be another statistic in the music world, just because he couldn't control his pride."

"Yeah… I'm game." He muttered.

"Then it's settled." The door opened and Seguchi Tohma walked in smiling, apparently he'd been listening for a while.

"Tohma!" Hiro exclaimed surprised, walking to him and kissing the top of his head.

"How do you do it to be everywhere?" Suguru threw his hands up.

"Not everywhere, only where Hiro is." Tohma smiled, "I thought we'd go home together, but I see we'll get to party first." He turned to his lover.

"Yeah, like you've ever karaoke before!" Shuichi teased, back in good humor.

"If you deal with Ryuichi… there's no way you can avoid it." They all laughed, how true that was. Ryu certainly had the talent for making people do what he wanted.

"So let's go! The night is young and I want to make fun of somebody!" Hiro grabbed Tohma and headed out with the other two behind.

XXX

A/N: I told you guys this one wouldn't take that long

I got one piece of beef to pick with ya'll. As you can see I work hard to give you guys lengthy and quality (grammar aside) chapters, and all I get in reviews is WHEN IS YUKI AND SHU GONNA GET TOGETHER! I know this is what you all want… so do I, and I am getting to it trust me, but I want to give a conclusion to everything I started, and to every character involved. These things sometimes can take a little time. I don't know how many of you have seen the anime or read the manga (I have not finished the manga… I can't stand Rage, she gets on my nerves so I stopped reading in vol 10 ) Yuki is a total asshole to Shu the whole time. It doesn't seem that long and tedious because its only 13 episodes, but he is an asshole who I don't totally hate only because he is so beautiful . In writing however, things go a little slower.

The only reason why I bring this up, is because I feel that my work is being unappreciated (aside from a few very loyal and insightful fans) I feel that I might as well just write "… _They met, they fucked, they got into a fight, they made up, and they fucked some more… the end"_ And I would get the same response. I'm not one to complain, but I guess it kind of got to me a bit this time, especially since I always stress over making some time to type a bit everyday no matter how busy I might be… not always works out, but I still stress. I hope you guys continue to read my fic, and that you have a little more patience, there are only a few more chapters left, so you know Yu&Shu will have to get back together soon

Whew… now that I got this out of my chest…

Next Stop: **Drive me High, **I just recently heard this song

On this one we focus on Ryuichi and Tatsuha a bit more, and will give a conclusion to their love dilemma… how will Kuma-chan get _his_ Uesugi back? Stay tuned to find out

After that… It's all Yuki and Shuichi, and their drama baby!


	25. Drive me High

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

**For mature readers only!**

Chapter Twenty-three: Drive me High 

Tatsuha shut off the TV. It never ceased to amaze him how everyone was so drawn to Shuichi. Hell, if he weren't' so in love with Ryuichi he himself might be another one of those morons after his behind… yes, that included Ryuichi as moron number one.

Why couldn't his idiotic brother eat his bullshit pride and get back with Shuichi? The way he saw it, that was his only chance to get back with his bunny-wielding god.

Ever since he left Ryuichi's apartment the night before, he had not had a moment's peace. Just remembering the two singers back in Hokkaido, the way they hugged and kissed each other, it was enough to make his blood boil. But that aside, Ryuichi's outburst from the night before left Tatsuha little doubt that the singer was done with him. That nothing special had ever gone on between the two. And the worst part was that Ryuichi had told him so from the start, but like the moron that he is, he'd gone and believed that they had a chance.

Tatsuha sighed deeply, throwing his head back on the couch he stared at the ceiling. He was only seventeen for crying out loud! He should not be having these issues; he should be enjoying his youth, making friends… being normal. The door opened, he turned to it and stared at his sister, who just stood there looking like a living corpse staring back.

"How was your day?" She asked in a monotonous low voice, Tatsuha could tell it was from all the crying she'd been doing.

"Fine I guess, not that you give a crap." He replied dryly.

"Believe it or not I do care, I have a dead brother, and a estranged husband, you're the only one I have left." Tatsuha looked at her, fighting the urge to laugh at her hypocrisy.

"Dead brother you say?" He repeated instead, "… so you know?" Mika seemed shocked by the question.

"Do you?" She asked stunned.

"Eiri doesn't exactly hide it."

"He told you?"

"No, but he doesn't deny it, neither does Tohma." Tatsuha stood to go get something to eat… or to get away from her, he couldn't decide.

"What else do you know?" Mika stopped him.

"I have no time for this… I thought you wanted to hear how was my day?" He walked towards his room.

"Eiri is getting married." Mika blurted, Tatsuha turned to his sister.

"Who told you that, she did?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, Eiri gave her the go ahead when they went on that trip. She was supposed to be in some show tonight, but she pulled out to be with our dear brother." Tatsuha tried not to look as shocked as he was. If this was true, all possibilities that the blonde asshole would get back with Shuichi were completely gone, and so would his hopes to win Ryuichi back. Shuichi will be devastated when he finds out, and Ryuichi will be right there to comfort him. _Could his life get any worst?_

"Why do you think I give a crap?" Tatsuha muttered looking away.

"Help me Tatsuha, help me squash them." Mika implored.

"Squash who?" The monk turned.

"Bad Luck, I mean those two, Nakano Hiroshi, and Shindou Shuichi."

"Don't include me in your quarrels, besides, why would you want to squash Shuichi?"

"Not me Mikka, we believe our dear Eiri has been a little more promiscuous than I thought."

"So in other words you want to squash Eiri through Bad Luck's perky singer… don't bother, Eiri don't give a fuck about him."

"And this he told you?"

"Did you tell Mikka about Eiri and Tohma?" Tatsuha avoided the previous question realizing he said too much.

"Of course not! She's not even willing to believe about the kid, let alone my husband, besides, she doesn't need to know." Mika finished.

"I like the way you grieve. Let me give you a piece of advice, forget the man and enjoy his millions. That's what any other hurt and humiliated dumped woman would do." Mika eyed her younger brother for a moment, her expression unreadable, then her features softened and she looked as if she would cry.

"They poisoned you so much, and I let them!" She came to him and held him, leaning her head on his chest.

"Oh please! Don't play self righteous now that I don't need you." Tatsuha removed her limbs from his person and guided her out of his room, locking himself in it.

XXX

Ryuichi turned off the TV. He had almost called the station when Shu talked about him and Kumagoro. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have hesitated, but he wasn't in the mood tonight. He'd gone to Tatsuha's school, to find out –through K—that his beautiful monk had been absent. Ryuichi cursed himself all day long for misplacing his cell phone who knows where. And instead of being worried about it falling into the wrong hands, he was upset, because he would not be able to call Tatsuha. He asked K to comb the city if necessary to find it, but if the blonde American ever did, it may be too late. By then Tatsuha might think he didn't want him anymore… and he couldn't wait for that to happen. He wanted to hear that husky voice whispering in his ear right now!

He went to the kitchen, got himself a beer and sat on the couch to think what to do. He stared at Kumagoro, sitting neatly on the same spot his love had so many times in the past few weeks.

"I can't take it anymore!" Ryuichi yelled bringing his hands to cover his face, "Why do I like him so much?" He asked the inanimate plush, "He's not even that nice!" The fight they had in Hokkaido because Tatsuha had been such a jerk came back to him. And although it had felt pretty good that it had been out of jealousy, still, he wished the gorgeous monk were a little more sympathetic towards others.

But even with all his very noticeable personality flaws, the youngest Uesugi had already won his heart, making his infatuation with Shuichi seem like miles away.

"That's it! Maybe Shu has his number!" Ryuichi perked up remembering that his –now best friend—had been the one who entered Tatsu's number in his phone's directory to begin with. The stressed singer dialed the only number he new by heart and waited impatiently for Shu to reply.

"Shu-chan here," A cheery voice greeted him.

"Shu-kun!" Ryuichi almost yelled.

"What! I can't hear you, speak louder." The voice continued.

"It's me Ryu, " Ryuichi found that his heart was beating fast.

"Ah got 'ya! I'm not available at the moment, but if you leave me your digitz, I might get back to you… mwhahahahaha!" A beep came and Ryuichi almost threw the phone from anger.

"That's not funny Shu… clever, but not funny" Ryuichi spoke, "I need Tatsu's number, I lost my phone… call me ok?" Ryuichi hanged frustrated; Shuichi most likely was still at the TV studio. The phone rang immediately—not his temporary cell, but his home phone instead—

"Tatsuha?" Ryuichi yelled into the apparatus.

"I don't know who that is, but he must be pretty important to get that tone out of you." A female voice laughed.

"Aiko, oh… hey!" Ryuichi replied disappointed, blowing a stray lock from his face. He should have known, the only ones who had his home number were his parents, Aiko and Yoshi, "So, what's up?" He continued trying to cover his worry.

"Who's Tatsuha?" Aiko pressed curiously.

"My boyfriend." Ryuichi answered hoping it were true.

"Ooh! You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!"

"Do I have to?" Ryu said crossly, not wanting to discuss Tatsuha with her.

"Did I caught you at a bad time?" Aiko asked sensing the stress in her brother's voice.

"Yeah, kind of… I'm sorry ne?" Ryuichi apologized.

"It's fine, I just wanted to tell you that I got your package, and that Aki is dying to see you."

"How is he?" Ryuichi asked warming at the mention of his nephew.

"Oh just great! You know, bragging about you as always."

"I'll go visit when I'm not so busy." Ryuichi lamented not having the will to even do that right now.

"Ok… bring Tatsuha." Aiko joked, "Yoshi would love to meet him."

"I bet, but let me tell you, he's a lot better looking than Yoshi."

"Really? I definitely _have_ to meet him now!" Aiko replied mischievously.

"I love you sis…" Ryuichi whispered feeling a bit better. She never failed to cheer him up at times like this. Even back then, when he bowed to hate her for taking his most precious person, he could not, he loved her too much.

"I love you too little bro."

"Hey! I'm only younger by two minutes!" Ryuichi yelled in his obnoxious, little boy Sakuma Ryuichi vocalist of Nittle Grasper voice.

"That still makes you younger, I have two whole minutes more of wisdom on you." And she hung up before he could retort.

"Dummy!" Ryuichi smiled putting the phone down, "Oh, I'll let you see my baby… you'll be so jealous you'll want to give Yoshi back to me." Ryuichi shifted his eyes to Kumagoro mischievously, picturing Tatsuha's face while he orgasm. He felt a lot better now, and a lot hotter…_Oh Shu… hurry up and call…_

XXX

Shuichi sang Grasper's most popular song "Sleepless Beauty" The incident with Suguru miles away. The kid had had to sing Glaring Dream just before, and Shuichi and Hiro had laughed at him for a solid half hour, that ought to teach him to mess with him. His phone went off, and he had the urge to see who it was—a bad habit he'd not been able to break—As soon as the song ended and he did his little show off dance, and went back to his seat scrolling down his messages.

"Ryuichi would cry from emotion had he heard me!" The singer quipped as he looked at his phone's screen.

"From a stomach ache you mean!" Hiro laughed, "Don't laugh at the boy… that's cruel, we all know you can do it better!" He turned to Tohma who was covering his mouth to keep from snickering and kissed the top of his head.

"You two are seriously disgusting." Suguru said eying the two lovers, taking the words right out of Shuichi's mouth.

"Shut up, you only say that 'cause you are all alone in the world." Hiro smirked wrapping his arms around Tohma and running his tongue over the side of the producer's face. Tohma just rolled his eyes but welcomed the show-offy affection nonetheless.

"Better alone than in bad company." Suguru retorted sticking his tongue out disgustedly.

"Shut it you two…hey Ryu just called!" Shuichi exclaimed upon hearing his latest message.

"And that would be big news… because?" Suguru rolled his eyes.

"Because Ryuichi and I straightened things out and are now nothing but very good friends… not that you would understand such a complicated concept." Shuichi retorted back with a grin.

"What! he doesn't have the hots for you anymore?" Hiro added sarcastically knowing very well the answer to that. Shuichi turned to him maliciously.

"It's your turn man." He stated tightly, hoping Suguru didn't start asking questions.

"Don't worry about me," Suguru said as if reading his mind, not sounding convincing at all.

"Hey, the guy's a jerk, you're too good for him Su-chan." Hiro patted his band mate's shoulder.

"So Ryuichi and Tatsuha are together for good then?" Tohma asked.

"Well, not exactly, they had a fight, and Ryu is kind of bombed about it." Shu conceited eying Suguru apologetically.

"I see, this is very unlike Ryuichi. I can't say that I approve completely, but… I'm glad Ryu decided to settle down." The producer continued sincerely.

"You think they'll have any problems?" Hiro asked.

"Not by me, and certainly not by Eiri, Mika and his mother are an entirely different matter though, let's not forget Ryuichi is sixteen years older than Tatsuha.

"You can hardly tell. Tatsuha looks like an old pervert." Shuichi defended the love choice of his second best friend.

"I guess if they can hide it until Tatsuha turns eighteen it'll be alright." Tohma reasoned.

"Why does love have to be so hard!" Shuichi shouted pulling his hair. "I better call him." He sobered up and dialed. "Hey Ryu… I see you misplaced your phone again." He listened for a bit covering his other ear to shield the noise, "I can't hear you, I'm with the guys right now… hold on I'll put you on speaker." He did.

"Which guys?" Ryuichi's voice came alive.

"Hiro, Suguru and the boss, who else?" Shu replied.

"Hey everybody!" Ryuichi chanted. "So do you have it?" He asked not waiting for a reply, nor wasting any time

"I thought you were going to his school today."

"I did, the lazy bum skipped."

"Ryu, you didn't let anyone see you?" Tohma interrupted worriedly.

"Of course not! I might not be an expert at chasing High School boys, but I know that much." Ryuichi stated.

"Good boy," The producer sat back relaxed.

"You think he's still mad?" Shuichi asked curious.

"He hasn't call me… c'mon Shu, give me his number already! Every second counts!" Ryuichi whined frustratingly.

"I don't have it anymore, I erased it off my phone." Shuichi said regretfully.

"Why would you do that?" Ryuichi whiled.

"Well, he got me mad."

"He's staying at my… I mean at Mika's place, you can try calling there." Tohma interrupted again.

"Tohma-kun you don't have his cell phone number?" Ryuichi asked hopeful.

"Not on me, I'm sure Usagi has it at the office," Tohma replied, "Call him at Mika's if you can't wait for me to get it tomorrow." The blonde producer continued feeling sorry for his friend, he'd never seen him so frantic before.

"Give me her number." Ryuichi accepted the offer. "Do you think Mika will be mad if I call?"

"That I don't know." Tohma conceded.

"I'll take the risk…" Tohma gave him the number and after a few more words the urged singer hung up to call his love.

"You can actually hold a half serious a conversation with him… unbelievable!" Suguru said as the line went dead.

"I've said it once, and I say it again… man, the kid must be good." Hiro let out shaking his head, "So, were you after his brother like that?" Hiro turned to Tohma.

"Hiroshi!" Tohma warned through his teeth, shifting his eyes to Shuichi.

"Don't fret over me, I'm fine, why is it that everyone thinks that I cannot even hear his name… like I care. Yes Hiroshi-kun he _is_ good in the sack, and he's got a big dick too. Maybe if you're good Seguchi-san might let you try him on your own. I'm sure Uesugi-sama would accommodate you." Shuichi stood and went to the karaoke machine and inserted a token, looked for a song and began singing; the three remaining at the table said nothing for a few minutes. Tohma gave Hiro a disappointing glare.

"So… would you let me?" The longhaired man joked in an attempt lighten the mood. He wished people would stop feeling sorry for Shuichi, he knew him best, and knew that his perky friend hated to be pitied.

"Hiro!" Tohma hit him hard on the arm.

"Why not?" Hiro laughed, Suguru rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Hey, if he won't talk to him to clear things up, he has to get over him right? Trust me, I know him better than anyone. He'll either beg Yuki-san for forgiveness eventually, or he'll move on. Either way we can't walk on eggshells around the matter, that won't help." Hiro explained seriously." Besides, we have that 'other' matter to worry about, we have to prepare him for that" He looked at Tohma, who required no explanation.

"Yeah, but you don't have to be so blunt." Suguru said in his disapproving, fatherly mode. "What other matter?" The teen asked curiously

"Nothing you need to worry about," Hiro replies setting his eyes on Shuichi, " but in any case, trust me… I know him best."

XXX

With each thrust, the face that he was fighting so hard to forget became more vivid. So much so, that the female moans vanished, giving way to the soft gasps that had taken him to the edge so many times _that_ night.

"Eiri…" The annoying feminine voice intruded his fantasy. Yuki opened his deep hazel eyes, and set them on the brown ones staring at him with unmasked adoration below, "I…love…you" Mikka managed to mutter between gasps. Yuki winced and began thrusting harder to make it impossible for her to talk—didn't work—"Eiri…Eiri…" Mikka chocked close to release.

"Shhh, don't say anything." Yuki begged, closing his eyes once more, invoking the face from the TV screen, hearing the contagious laughter he'd heard not a half an hour before. He quickened his pace willing his orgasm to come. One last vision of his angel sent him to the edge, throwing his head back, Yuki rode the waves of pleasure hoping that the nuisance under him would keep her mouth shut and allow him to enjoy this little piece of heaven that was always over way too soon.

Taking care of Mikka's needs first, always worked to his advantage, since, after he was done, all he wanted to do was get away from her as far as he could, and now was no exception. He rolled off her and lay on his back with his eyes close.

"Eiri…" Mikka whispered, throwing her arm across his chest, and leaning her head on it.

"Mmm…" He replied, miles away.

"I know when I want to get married," This statement brought him right back to earth.

"When?" He asked a little too anxiously.

"On our anniversary." Yuki raised a brow.

"Anniversary?"

"Yes, of the date of our first date." Mikka stated as if it were obvious, "Don't you remember? The night of the festival, when you saved me from being bullied… you were wearing all black, and your hair blew to the breeze, you looked like an angel fallen from the sky."

"Angel… fallen from the sky huh?" Yuki laughed at the irony of it, if she only knew that was exactly the same way he saw Shuichi.

"Yes, that happened on November 16th." He was actually surprised _she_ even remembered. Although he remembered it a little differently; that had been the day Tohma told him that Mika was 'pregnant' and that he had to marry her.

"That's little over a month away." He observed remembering the fuzz the woman had made about having the biggest wedding in history.

"I know, we don't have to have all the pomp after all. I just want to be your wife, that will be enough." Yuki set his eyes on her … _it will do me good… it will do me good…_ his mind screamed over and over.

"That's a relief!" He tried to sound relaxed, even though he was feeling so constricted he could cry. The one thing he had always counted on was his freedom, if he lost that… what would be left for him?

"We'll have a very nice and elegant reception, but in a much smaller scale. I want you in a white tuxedo…Oh my god, that would so bring out your hair and eyes, you'll look like an angel!" Mikka gushed.

"Angel…I want an angel," Yuki let out in the smallest whisper, with a bitter smile.

XXX

The phone rang in the distance, waking Tatsuha form his light sleep. He turned the other way trying to shut the noise out-- with no success-- the insistent ring would not cease to throb in his ears.

"Where the fuck are the maids?" He mumbled under his breath. Finally, in what it seemed like an eternity, the infernal ringing stopped. The young monk tried to resume his slumber, but after tossing and turning for a few minutes, he resigned himself to spend yet another sleepless night and got up.

"I should eat something," he mumbled to himself, his last meal had consisted of a few sushi rolls, but that had been hours ago. He looked around for any of the maids, his sister, anyone, but the damned place was as empty as his life.

"Great… we're fucking millionaires, and there's nothing to eat!" The teen grouched after rummaging the fridge and the near by cabinets, not finding anything he could put in his mouth. He went back to his room, and sat at his desk getting his homework out from his briefcase.

"I should do some homework," He said opening his math assignment, staring at it blankly, "Shit! I'm done for." He sighed frustratingly. Academics had never been his forte. Mika's threats to send him back to Kyoto if he didn't do good came back to frustrate him even more. "I'm gonna have to get me a smart girlfriend," Tatsuha smirked, but his joke wasn't as funny, as the many a times he had actually done the said deed.

"Fuck you! I hate you, you know that?" He shifted his black eyes to Ryuichi's image plastered on his wall, "I hope you and Shuichi get hit by a truck." Of course he didn't mean it, he could never wish any harm upon the being he cared about the most. Just the thought of Ryu hurting was enough to constrict his throat. That inconvenience was only reserved for morons like himself who fell in love with people they could not have. At least Shuichi was in the same boat as he, and as sick as it may sound, that gave him some comfort.

The phone rang again. He contemplated whether he should pick up, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. He threw his math book aside, and took out his kanji exercises. At least that was one subject he was good at.

XXX

"Tatsuha… you idiot!" Ryu snapped as he turned the phone off. He was sure his black haired beauty was out with some guy. Just the thought of it made the singer want to hit someone. But thinking and getting upset about it wouldn't' do him any good. Ryuichi made up his mind. Getting up from the couch and running to the shower, he demised a sort of plan to get to his love.

After a few minutes, he run out of his apartment, wearing all black from head to toe, and a ski mask… and so, a Kumagoro-less Ryuichi Sakuma commenced _"Operation get Tatsu-kun back"_

X

Ryuichi parked his 'inconspicuous' black Lamborghini around the corner from Tohma's apartment towers. He was actually surprised he still remembered how to get there since he hadn't been over in years. It was past one in the morning, so there was no one around. Ryuichi put on his mask and 'inconspicuously" set out to stalk his love.

As soon as he came into the elegant lobby, a security guard approached him. Ryuichi smiled at the stern looking man and continued to make his way to the elevators—not realizing how suspicious he looked.

"May I help you?" The man asked blocking Ryu's way.

"Eh… yeah, you see, I'm here stalking my cheating wife, that's why I'm dressed like this." Ryuichi replied sounding very sincere, stunning the man for a second.

"I am afraid I can't let you do that sir," The guard didn't know what to do, whether to kick him out, call the police or just let him go and pretend he didn't see him.

"Why not?" The singer pouted, " I'm not going to bother anyone, I just want to see for myself the man that bitch is banging instead of me… you understand right? I've given that gold digger three years of my life, and this is how she repays me!" Ryuichi sounded truly desperate and depressed. The guard's expression softened upon hearing the all too common dilemma.

"I understand, but sir, it is against our policy to let anyone into this building unless you show ID or are cleared by a resident." Ryuichi looked about, and took the man's arm, guiding him away from the cameras, and the other guard at the desk.

"I'll be quick, I swear, I just want to see, I won't make a scene, they won't even know I'm here… see." Ryu showed the man a digital camera he always carried-- in case he had to take pictures of cool fans. The guard seemed very uncomfortable and skeptical, but for some reason, he believed every word this 'poor' man was saying. He didn't know why, but he even felt sorry for him, and wished he did find what he was looking for. The guard finally sighed.

"Alright, you have half an hour, if you haven't seen anything by then, I will come and escort you out… understood?"

"Oh thank you good sir! Both my lawyer and my pocket will thank you forever." Ryuichi smiled so broadly, tears rimmed his eyes adding more credibility to his 'sad story', the man shook his head and handed him a pass, with the exact time given, and the expiration time. Ryu took it, bowed quickly and went to the elevators.

Half an hour should be enough time, but still, he needed a plan to get Tatsuha to either come out form his apartment, or get him to come back home if he was out. He got out his 'temporary' cell phone, and dialed directory; immediately finding a restaurant near by. If memory served him right, Tohma had around the clock guards at the entrance of the penthouse, so he would have to deal with them also.

Ryu came up with a simple plan he saw in a movie once, one that would only work if Tatsu was home, but if he wasn't, at least it would make the guards allow him to reach the front door, long enough to find out whether his love was in or not.

"_Kyaa, you're too clever Ryuichi!"_ The singer patted himself on the back keeping a positive attitude, he'd never known defeat before–save the time Yoshi left him-- and he was not about to feel that way now.

…Ten minutes later he stood by the elevator watching a young man carrying a delivery bag.

"Wow that was quick! Are you sure the food is cooked?" Ryuichi smiled politely, the boy looked strangely, not knowing whether it was a compliment or a complaint. "How much do I owe you?" Ryuichi asked sensing the kid's discomfort.

"I thought this was going up to the pent house," The boy said suspiciously.

"It is, I live up there, it's jus that I'm not supposed to have this stuff… doctor's orders." Ryu said pulling out a wad of bills.

"Oh, I see," The boy smiled, and handed Ryuichi the bill; he'd seen weirder stuff in these rich people's places. It made perfect sense. "Haven't I seen you before?" The boy asked, trying to get a closer look at the partly hidden singer's face.

"Sure, you've delivered to me a bunch of times… here," Ryuichi handed him the tab money, plus a very handsome tip.

"Oh… thank you," The boy watched the strange man go into the elevator and waved at him as the doors closed, he was sure he'd never delivered to him before, he would remember for sure. Shaking his head the boy counted the money and a gigantic smile adorned his features, making him forget all about 'where' he'd seen the man with the gorgeous eyes before

XXX

The elevator door opened, and just as he had thought, there was a small –very classy- desk. A guard sat behind it looking down, most likely reading something. Ryuichi walked past him and towards the front door, completely ignoring him, hoping that the man would let him be.

"May I help you?" The man snapped getting to his feet, and coming to him. Ryuichi rolled his eyes, as the same scenario from downstairs played itself out.

"Yes, I have a delivery, for… eto… let me see, Uesugi Tatsuha." Ryuichi replied reading the bill.

"I was not told of any deliveries." The man said impassive, stepping in front of Ryuichi and glaring at him suspiciously.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't know anything about that, but I do know that if I don't deliver this food, is coming out of my salary. Look at this bill," Ryuichi shoved it in front of the man's face, "Do you think I make enough to afford this?" The guard looked at him, and even though he looked suspicious, for some reason he believed everything this 'poor' delivery boy said.

"Alright, but I'm coming to the door with you." The guard stepped aside and let Ryuichi complete his task.

"If you like." The singer smirked, and went to the door.

XXX

A doorbell in the distance woke him up. The monk rolled his eyes and turned the other way trying to ignore the insisting noise.

"Give me a fucking break!" The monk finally grouched and made his way to the front door. He passed Mika's room, and spied her thrown across her bed, fully dressed, with an empty bottle of booze on the floor, right below the limp arm that hung over the edge of the bed. He went to her-- telling himself that he wasn't concerned-- checked that she was still breathing, then took her arm and placed it neatly by her side, covering her, and leaving as silently as he came in, closing the door behind himself. Meanwhile, the doorbell hadn't stopped ringing, annoying the hell out of him. "Whoever the fuck it is, is going to get an earful from me!" He stomped the rest of the way wondering for the millionth time that night where the hell were all the maids. Again the infernal noise came, but this time, it came with a smell… the smell of food.

"If this is a delivery to the wrong address, I'm kicking somebody's ass, and I'm taking the damned food too!" Tatsuha grouched to himself as he threw the door open.

XXX

"Tatsuha's surprised face looked so cute. Ryuichi felt such a rush of desire, that it was hard to keep from throwing himself on the beautiful teen and ravage him savagely. He'd never wanted anyone like this, he thought he had wanted Shuichi, but he now realized that it wasn't sex what he had wanted from the younger singer. He saw something of himself in him, the fire that he used to have when he was Sakuma Ryuichi, front man of Nittle Grasper and on top of the world. Not even Yoshiki had invoked this wanting desire that threaten to eat him alive every time he set eyes on the black haired beauty.

"Ryuichi!" The teen exclaimed shocked—funny that even with the ski mask on, his cute monk could still recognize him—

"Delivery." Ryu said raising the bag for Tatsuha to see. The monk shifted his onyx eyes to it, and then back to Ryuichi's own green orbs.

"Did you order this Uesugi-san?" The guard asked upon seeing the youngster's shocked face.

"Yeah," He replied without looking at the man, he bowed and went back to his post without further comment. "It's a little late for dinner," Tatsuha said coldly once the man was out of ear's reach. The anger he had felt towards the older man the night before coming back to burn a hole in his heart.

"I know, sorry I came so late, I went to get you from school, but you never showed up." To this Tatsuha's eyes opened a little wider, as if he were surprised, but not wanting to show it.

"I did go, I got sick so I left early," Tatsuha replied, "Did you have a good time with Shuichi?" The teen asked nonchalantly, not wanting to let Ryuichi warm his heart more than he already had. He was two seconds away from throwing himself at the singer and beg for forgiveness—even though he had nothing to be forgiven about in his view—

"Well, I did, and then I didn't." Ryuichi let out remembering the reason for his visit. He looked for words to redeem himself to his love, but he found none.

"You did… or you didn't, which is it? Tatsuha arched a brow in that sexy way of his that gave Ryuichi chills.

"Can I come in?" Ryuichi asked shyly, he was still standing at the door holding the food. Tatsuha thought about it a second, then moved aside.

"Sure, Mika is out for the night." He replied bored.

"Right, how is she?"

"Coping I guess, but you're not here to talk about her am I right?"

"Not really," Ryuichi said lowly, and set the food down, he looked around the place; He hadn't been here in ages and yet, it looked so familiar. Turning back to look into the onyx eyes, he wished for the millionth time that he could just feel Tatsuha's arms around him, go to his room and take off all of his clothes and just feel his hot skin. But no, this time he would make it right, lust and passion could wait, he wanted Tatsuha to see that he wanted a lot more than that for them. "I'm sorry," The older man blurted, realizing just then that he'd never apologized to anyone before… never had to, never felt the need to.

"Why are you sorry?" Tatsuha asked coldly, Ryuichi looked down, he had no experience dealing with these type of situations, all he wanted was for it all to go away, and things to go back to the way they were before the trip to the springs "Are you sorry because things got complicated between us, or is it because you don't like me anymore and don't want to be with me, or is it because I'm not begging like you're most likely accustomed to?" Tatsuha's eyes grew colder still. He had wanted to beg the man in front of him to forget it all and take him back, on any terms, but just the thought of him with Shuichi stab at his heart, making the Uesugi's foolish pride get in the middle yet again. "What is it that you're sorry abut Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi's eyes watered, Tatsuha sounded so resentful that it overwhelmed him. He never intended things to end up like this, he'd never stopped to think about what Tatsuha felt, or that he himself would develop feelings for the boy. On top of that, he never stopped to think about the repercussions of his selfish actions. He had hurt Tatsuha, possibly beyond forgiveness, and here he was dressed ridiculously, carrying food as it this were a casual visit and not the most important and decisive moment of his life. Tatsuha's eyes didn't weaver from his, proving, waiting… but for what? He didn't know. After all, why would such a beautiful young man want a thirty-three year old has been? Tears made their way down his face and he could not stop them.

Tatsuha's expression softened, and suddenly Ryuichi fund himself engulfed by warm arms holding him tight.

"Don't cry Ryu. I'm happy you and Shuichi got together, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, it's just that I got a bit jealous… we're still friends, so don't worry…ne?"

Butterflies kissed covered Ryuichi's head, and forehead. Tatsuha was apologizing to him! He had been the one who'd played with the teen's feelings, he had been the one who kept bringing anotherman's name into every conversation, he had been the one who'd taken this young boy's love for granted. And yet, Tatsuha was apologizing and comforting him! Ryuichi lifted his face and met those beautiful, engulfing black orbs.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to play with your feelings. I thought that we'd have fun and be done with it. But somewhere along the line I fell in love with you, and now… and now," The words rushed out of him on their own and he could not stop them, "I love you and if you leave me I will die!" Ryuichi yelled at the top of his lungs, and it felt good, as if a giant weight had been lifted off of him. He hadn't uttered those words in so long, and he thought he would never again. It felt so natural…so right.

Tatsuha's face lost all its pretence of composure. A current ran through him, rendering immobile, he must be imagining things. Ryuichi couldn't be telling him that he loved him! All these years he had yearned to hear those words, from his parents, brother, sister, even from the random lovers he took, from anyone. And it was from this man, the most unlikely person of them all, that he finally felt needed. Tatsuha held Ryuichi so tightly that he felt the older man's bones pop.

"I love you too," The monk whispered over and over, as he showered Ryuichi with kisses on every part of his face. Tatsuha's heart felt as if it could not contain all the love he felt for the man in his arms.

The two kissed long and deep, nothing existed but the two of them. The taller teen swept Ryuichi off his feet and took him to the fireplace, setting him down gently to light the fire. He had dreamed of this very scenario a thousand times, and tonight, he would make it real.

The fire came to life. Tatsuha came to his love and again kissed him tenderly, pushing him softly to lie back on the fluffy carpet by the fireplace. Slowly, he removed the skintight pants and turtleneck, and languidly kissed every inch of Ryuichi's soft skin. There was no rush, no overflowing passion that needed to be quenched. Only love, and Tatsuha would show this man just how much love he felt… slowly.

"When I was a little boy, I used to pretend that I was you," The monk breathed, kissing the length of Ryuichi's neck up and down. Caressing along the side of Ryu's lean body with one hand, and holding the smaller man's hands above his head with the other. Ryuichi sighed deeply; enjoying the sweet unhurried pleasure only this boy was able to give him. "Then, when I grew up, I didn't want to be you anymore, I wanted to be _with_you," The hand that caressed the side slowly made its way to the center of him, lingered there for a few moments, just long enough to elicit a deep moan from the older man, and then slide to the inner tights to probe his legs open.

"And now you have me… all of me." Ryuichi murmured opening his legs wide to surrender himself.

"And you have me." Tatsuha came to kiss Ryuichi's hot lips. The singer unbuttoned Tatsuha's shirt with trembling hands and ran his hands over the young hot flesh, then bringing them to unzip his pants and freeing the thing which had turned him into this boy's slave.

Tatsuha parted his lips from Ryuichi's, throwing his head back, from the pure ecstasy one touch alone could bring. The sight so unbearably sensual that Ryuichi had to bite his lip to keep from screaming. Fueled by the erotic view, the singer stroked the engorged shaft, slowly, kneading the tip every time he came to it.

Tatsuha was very rapidly reaching his limit, he wanted to take his time, but on the other hand, he felt the need to be inside the tight passage that drove him wild more than anything. It was almost suffocating… this need. He ran his hands over Ryuichi's stomach, chest, tweaking his nipples, feeding on the moans and shallow breaths the man elicited as if his life depended on it.

"I can't" The teen rasped, and moved down Ryuichi's body, swallowing him whole.

"Ah… god," Ryuichi held Tatsuha's head to keep him from sucking too hard, or too fast. He wanted to savor this moment, but the monk was having none of it, he ran his tongue, the length of the pop god's member, from the root, to the tip, flicking his tongue rapidly once it reached there.

"You drive me crazy little boy," Ryuichi managed to gasp shaking his head from side to side; literally feeling his hot seed make its way out into the light.

"Not crazy enough," Tatsuha rasped just as needy, rolling his eyes back as the hot essence of his love filled him.

Ryuichi's loud, climatic pleasure cries were not even over when Tatsuha opened his supple legs wider and entered paradise incarnated… they were finally one, not only body, but heart and soul as well.

"Ah… no matter how many times I do this… it never fails to send me to heaven… so hot… so tight… god I can't stand it." Tatsuha plunged all the way to the hilt, and then pulled out slowly, increasing speed as the pressure inside him built.

"I love you," Ryuichi mouthed voicelessly, and everything exploded inside, and he fell limp on the heaving body below.

"I wish I could chain you to me." Ryuichi sighed satisfied after their heartbeats returned to normal. Tatsuha threw his head back in laughter—real laughter—for the first time in his life, he didn't see the need for the shield he'd erected around himself, he didn't see the need to pretend anymore, he could just be him … Tatsuha Uesugi, not the monk, not the pretentious and sarcastic prick who kept his defenses in place always because he was too much of a coward to allow himself be hurt, but just… him.

"We'd look funny," He replied rolling over, and bringing the smaller man closer to lie on his naked flesh.

"Who cares! I already look funny carrying Kuma-chan around." Ryuichi laughed.

"Ah… about that, you can't carry the both of us, so you'll have to decide, the cute bunny, or this fine specimen of manliness," Tatsuha asked seriously pointing at himself with his thumb.

"The manliness! I chose the manliness!" Ryuichi laughed like a child, "But you gonna have to carry Kuma-chan for me then." The singer reasoned trying to keep a straight face.

"Ooh yeah… masculinity at its peak." The monk sighed, nodding his head and tapping the tip of Ryuichi's nose.

They fell silent, holding each other, listening to their beating hearts. Tatsuha caressed Ryuichi's head, threading his fingers through the soft brown locks, and Ryuichi drifted contently into peaceful and satisfied slumber.

"Hey!" Tatsuha nudged the groggy singer. He sat up rubbing his green eyes, "About that dinner?" The monk asked in cue with a ferocious roar that came from his stomach. Ryuichi's eyes opened wide, then he threw his head laughing.

"I thought you'd never ask." Ryu said finally, after his stomach hurt so much from laughing. Tatsuha got up, took Ryuichi in his arms, then lowered the singer to reach for the take-out bag, he did, and together, they went to the teen's room.

XXX

**THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REACH 200 REVIEWS!** It means a lot to me.I really appreciateall your support and insights, trust me I try to take them all into account.

**A/N;** I think this must have been the most detailed sex scene in the whole fic… I don't know, you tell me. Finally Tatsu and Ryu are together for good! So, there shouldn't be any excuses for Yu and Shu to get back together (key word here shouldn't)… but wait, there are MIKKA THE BITCH! I grit my teeth just to think about it. Grrrrr.

What other adversities await our "would be lovers" next? (don't worry, not too many)

Now that Ryuichi and Tatsuha are together-together, we'll focus on the other two… honest

Next Stop: **No! Virtual** The Oricon chart is out! How will our favorite band (after Grasper of course) fair against the titans of pop, and let's not forget Costa-san? You'll have to read it to find out. Plus: What would you do if you were compared to your best friend, or bitter rival? Well, you'll never guess what Shu will do.


	26. No! Virtual: Part I READ FIRST

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

Ok, before you begin reading this chapter, I have to warn you… IT IS LONG! Yes, very long, I contemplated cutting it into parts, but I know you guys will yell at me if I did. I recommend that you have ample time to read this in its entirety; because once you start it WILL be hard to stop. Now having said that… ENJOY

**For mature readers only!**

**Chapter Twenty-four: No! Virtual.**

"Well gentleman," Tohma stood at the head of the table seizing up everyone sitting around him. The week had gone stressfully slow to put it lightly, Bad Luck was in everyone's mouth as the first band who collaborated with Nittle Grasper, and being the new rising stars who had come to take over as their long reign. "Shining Collection" was playing twenty-four- seven, and was apparently the best thing to hit the airways ever since _Sleepless Beauty_; marking Bad Luck as the first to partake on the roller coaster Grasper rode on.

The band went from, photo shoots, to interviews, to signing sessions. It never seemed to end; it was as if everyone wanted a piece of them all at once. And as much as Shuichi had wanted this, it was not as fun as he had expected it. Especially since they were barely getting any sleep, and were surviving on protein shakes and bars, or eating on the run. On top of that, they had no privacy at all; even when they went to the bathroom, people came following them with questions… not a very glamorous life.

Seguchi had scheduled for this meeting to fall on the day before the Oricon magazine was to be released. And Shuichi couldn't wait any longer. He wanted, no… needed! to know how they did on the sales charts on that crucial first week of _Gravity_ being out. Bad Luck's front man knew they were hot and all, but he wanted to see how that hotness held up against Mikka Costa, and most importantly Nittle Grasper.

"I have right here, tomorrow's release of Oricon," Seguchi held the magazine. Shuichi stared at it scared. How ironic that such a small thing could mean so much, he was almost at the point of grabbing his hair and pull it out, and he was finding it very hard to breathe as the moments passed. It felt as if his whole life depended on this very moment.

Within the pages of that magazine, were the official charts and sales rankings for the week, and as far as every record label was concerned it was all that mattered.

"How do you think you did?" Seguchi asked looking straight at him. The producer's face revealed nothing; his ever-nonchalant face was driving the young singer mad. Shuichi looked at the rest assembled. Ryuichi was busy yapping with Noriko, paying little to no attention to their band mate and leader, Suguru was looking down at his tea, with pretty much the same expression as he. Expecting the hot liquid to give him the answer to the burning question. Both K and Sakano sat staring at their boss, one with unmasked devotion, and the other with unmasked boredom. Lastly, Shuichi turned to his best friend, who sat directly across from him, smiling.

Upon seeing Hiro's relaxed demeanor, Shu felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders; _the bastard knew... he had to._

"Well… I guess," Shuichi guessed uncertainly.

"I don't know about that," Seguchi replied calmly, "Let me read the top ten spots, then you tell me how well you think you did." He opened the magazine slowly, Shuichi began sweating, and the room began to shrink around him. The mogul smiled, a smile that didn't tell him anything other than the man was enjoying teasing him. Shu looked at Hiro again, but his friend was now looking up at his powerful lover.

"#10, Musiq, Orange Range. I like their style… very American" Seguchi began slowly,

"#9 Tourbillion, Luna Sea, Wow, this is a surprise;" He continued as if this were the first time he read the damn thing.

"#8, Dix Infernal, Moi dix Mois. Oh my! Are they still around?" Seguchi exclaimed feigning shock.

"#7, San, Kagrra,"

"#6, Awake, L'ArcenCiel; A lot of rock I'm seeing here, must be a trend. Or maybe pop idols are a thing of the past." The producer sighed.

"#5, Legion, Mikka Costa. Wow, I thought she'd at least be third. Shows me how much I know about this business." Tohma laughed.

"C'mon Tohma get on with it!" Noriko snapped annoyingly, taking Shuichi's thoughts right out of his mind.

"Fine, fine, you guys are so uptight!" Seguchi joked.

"Look who's talking, you only found humor since a certain someone is been getting into your pants." The woman smiled sweetly. Sakano snapped his head to her shocked, and K could not help a little chuckle.

"And what a fool I was for not finding it sooner." Tohma smiled back replying just as sweetly.

"#4, Diabolos, Gackt; he's one of my personal favorites," He continued,

"#3, Withering to Death, Dir en Grey;"

" #2…" He paused and looked straight at Noriko and Ryuichi. Shu's heart stopped. If Nittle Grasper was second, there was no way they could be number one, which meant that they were not even on the top ten. Shuichi was disappointed beyond words, but fuck! How could they compete with Diru, Gackt and Laraku? Shuichi was sure Seguchi wasn't expecting them to be on the top ten right away. After all, this _was _theirfirst album. But he had wanted to be on top with all his might, at least be higher than that bitch. That, and he was also was worried about losing NG and Seguchi's sponsorship.

"#2, Gravity, Bad Luck," The words didn't register for a second, and then all his emotions came rushing in all at once. Suguru let a loud sigh escape his lips, and Hiro smiled widely… _the bastard had known all along._

"And #1 Shinning Hits, Nittle Grasper." Tohma ended dismissively, and threw the magazine on the desk. Shu was the first to grab it. He read the name of his band over and over. This was better than a dream, much better.

"I'm very proud, I knew you would do well, but I must say that I am very impressed." Their blonde producer smiled. "To think that you came in higher than Mikka, an experienced and very successful part of our record label is outstanding to say the least." Sakano applauded and nodded profusely.

"Wow Shu-kun, you guys are the best!" Ryuichi rooted and Noriko applauded silently as well, giving the young singer a wink.

"I'm just happy that you beat that bitch Mikka, I would pay to see her face when she sees this," Noriko let out mischievously.

"So we're celebrating tonight right!" Ryuichi stood pretending that Kumagoro had spoken the words.

"You suck as a ventriloquist Ryuichi," Noriko laughed.

"We're celebrating tomorrow," Tohma interrupted nonchalantly.

"What! Why?" Ryu pouted. Shuichi could care less about this whole exchange; he just sat staring at the chart with an idiotic expression on his face.

"Because tomorrow it will be official, and I have things to do today." Tohma replied.

"Yeah… with Hiro-kun?" Ryu asked putting Kumagoro on Tohma's face. The mogul's cheeks turned red for a second, but he said nothing.

"So, tomorrow we paint the town red!" Suguru jumped off his chair. Everyone was actually amazed to see him so exited.

"Yay!" Ryuichi yelled after him, getting up as well.

"We still have to talk about the week's schedules. We have a lot to do, there are TV appearances, radio interviews, and more photo shoots… so settle down." Tohma admonished sternly. They all booed and sat back down. Usagi came in with more tea, and the long, and tedious meeting continued.

XXX

" I can't believe it! We're number two in the whole nation!" Suguru exclaimed still in shock.

"I know! If Grasper hadn't released with us, we would have been number one!" Shuichi added just as exited and shocked.

"We beat Mikka Costa!" Both young members yelled in unison. Hiro just looked at them and shook his head jealously at their glee. Tohma had spoiled the whole thing for him, as soon as his beautiful love got the magazine from the presses, he called to give him the news—well, he called after the flowers and the season tickets for baseball—Tohma had been more exited than he himself. Hiro smiled as he remembered that night's long passionate lovemaking. And got the shivers as he recalled all the dirty talk Tohma had whispered into his ear… _damn, his life was too good!_

"I know! I would pay to see her poker face when she finds out. I would record it and watch it over and over again just to cheer myself up and laugh at her ass!" Shuichi snickered.

"Hey, you shouldn't make fun of your fellow record label mate." Sakano-san observed as he made his way into their rehearsal studio, "Seguchi-sama wants you to get on writing new material ASAP."

"What! We just released an album!" Shuichi whined.

"That's what you been saying in every interview we give, so…might as well ne?" Hiro woke up from his daydream before he got a hard on and went to the top floor to harass his hard working honey.

"Let me ask you this Shuichi-kun. How long did it take you to write the material for Gravity?" Sakano asked seriously.

"Kyaa! it was so long, I even lost track!" Hiro joked.

"Me too," Suguru added under his breath.

"Shut up! I'm sure you can get us all the time we need Hiroshi-sama." Shu looked at his friend pointedly.

"Ooh, I'll do that, only if I can get free manga for life." Hiro replied in the same tone.

"Manga?" Suguru asked confused, then began laughing hysterically when he finally got the joke.

"Here we go again…" Sakano sighed, bracing himself for another long day.

"Shut up!" Shuichi turned to Suguru and lashed, only to make the laugh harder. "I'll get to it Sakano-san" The singer turned to his manager, trying to ignore the other two.

"Good," Sakano acknowledged, reading a paper he was holding. "We have another gig at First Stage… with Nittle Grasper," He added with a little emphasis, "we'll play Shinning Collection with them."

"Yes!" Shuichi jumped on Suguru, the teen tried to shake him off, but found it impossible—after all, Shuichi learned that move from the best.

"When?" Hiro asked, Tohma had not mentioned anything about it.

"Friday after next, the highest rating night of the week." Sakano announced the well known fact, "Since we already have another show this coming Friday. They want to make sure they get the first Bad Luck/ Nittle Grasper stage performance."

"Woo hoo!" Shuichi rooted giving Suguru a nuggie.

"Who will be the panel guest that night?" Suguru asked, barely able to make himself heard, since Shuichi was still yelling on his back.

"I have no idea, but don't worry, it will not be Costa-san." The manager assured them.

"I'm sure Shuichi wouldn't mind that though." Hiro remarked.

"Of course not! I'll rub my second place on the charts plaque on her face." The singer laughed.

"You're so immature." Suguru punched him on the arm and reassumed his attempts to shake him off.

"Cut it out man!" Shuichi jumped off the younger teen rubbing his side, "I gotta figure out what I'm going to wear."

"Oh my god, its not for another two weeks! Just wear anything… no wait, wear a ruffled white shirt, leather pants, a Kumagoro doll and you can be Sakuma Ryuichi's twin." Suguru teased.

All humor left Shuichi; he didn't find it funny at all. In fact, it was not the first time he'd been compared to the hyper idol. Magazines all over remarked on this very 'obvious' fact. The way he dressed, moved, sang. Many claimed that he was nothing but a copy of the Grasper god. He couldn't help it though; he'd admired Ryuichi since he was a child, and had wanted to be just like him. But that wouldn't cut it anymore; he needed to find his own style and personality if he wanted to be taken seriously.

"Hey, it was only a joke." Suguru let out realizing his tactlessness; "I didn't mean anything by it."

"No man, it's fine… you didn't lie."

"Shuichi…" Hiro let out.

"I'm going home now," The singer stated and headed to the door, "Do we have to be here early tomorrow?" He asked Sakano before exiting.

"Nine is fine." The manager replied feeling guilty, he too thought that Shuichi was very alike Sakuma-san sometimes

"All right… bye then" The singer waived, and left, deep in his own thoughts.

"Now you've done it!" Hiro turned sternly to Suguru, as soon as Shuichi was out of sight. "He was down the whole week, and now that he finally seemed to cheer up, you go on and say something like that!"

'What? How was I supposed to know that he would take it to heart? And what about you with all those Yuki Eiri jokes… those are a lot worse!" Suguru defended himself.

"How would you like me to compare you to Tohma?" Hiro asked. Suguru's face took a drastic change, and then looked at the ground embarrassed, he knew exactly how Shuichi must be feeling right now.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"I'll wait a couple of hours, then I'll call him." Hiro turned his attention to Sakano.

"Good, make sure you bring his spirits up." The manager begged, they had a very important interview and he could not afford Shuichi feeling blue.

"Will do,"

XXX

Mikka stared at the magazine disbelievingly. There must be some sort of mistake! It couldn't be that she was number five, while those bastard were number two, even with the Nittle Grasper collaboration. She should have been able to be on the second spot.

"Mikka-chan, you almost did nothing to promote your album, while those kids were all over town… even in small time record stores. People eat up those kinds of stunts." Her manager defended his reliability before she could say anything to undermine him.

"Number Five…" She said lowly, angrily, "You expect me to believe that even with the little promoting we did, I deserve such a low place?" Her tone rose, as did her anger. She had known she couldn't beat Grasper… but Bad Luck! That was inconceivable.

"Mikka-chan, there are a lot of good acts releasing these days, then you have Grasper collaborating with Bad Luck as a tactic to…" Mikka held out her hand to shut him before he could finish his foolish excuse

"You mean to tell me those 'nobody' are better than me, is that it?" She could hardly manage the words; such was the anger she felt. It was not a matter of popularity and tactics; it was a matter of pride.

"Of course not, but they _are_ NG's golden boys these days, and you know Seguchi-sama is personally involved in their publicity."

"I know all this, you need not tell me!" Mikka snapped, "Regardless, I pay you more than you deserve, to make sure little fish like that don't ruin my reputation."

"But Mikka, be reasonable. You even canceled a show you had with them last week. The public react to these things, you know that better than anyone. Remember how your popularity went to the dumps when you got engaged with Yuki-sama."

"What does _he_ have to do with your inability to do your job!" The angry singer countered.

"Since he announced the end of Kenshin, his popularity had seem to increase, and remember what happened on First Stage…you know what happens when he makes head lines," Her manager argued matter of fact. She knew very well what happened when Eiri made headlines. The fact that she was engaged with Japan's 'other' sex god, was something that didn't sit too well with the female population. And of course she remembered very well what had happened at First Stage, she had lived full of doubts because of that night.

"Those are just excuses." Mikka snapped getting up.

"Where are you going?" The man in front of her asked agitated. "We have to come up with a strategy to bring you up to the top spots."

"_YOU_ come up with a strategy… that's what I pay you for." And with that, the woman went out of the room.

Once in her car, she dialed Eiri's number; maybe he would have lunch with her. In truth, she didn't really care what place she was in the charts. It hurt that Bad Luck had scored so high, but it didn't matter that much, her pride had taken quite a bit of bruising in the past. She had her own agenda, and if it went as planed, she'd be retiring soon.

XXX

Suguru's words hit him hard. He _was _Ryuichi's clone. Every way he looked at it, the more obvious it became. Suguru had been right; all he needed was a freaking Kumagoro doll.

Shuichi exited the NG building, wearing his cap and sunglasses, and headed to the train station. He found that being around crowds relaxed him somewhat. The weather was beginning to change and the hot summer was turning into fall fast. He brought his collar up as much to guise himself, as to cover his face from the cool breeze.

He hurried his pace, passing a nearby newsstand, he had to stop to stare at his own face on the cover of a magazine; he smiled bitterly "_Yup, I look just like Ryu… do you think the same Yuki?"_ He asked, berating himself for thinking about _him. _

He should be happy, all his dreams were coming true one by one… except. "Idiot! You swore you'd forget about him." He muttered to himself, but a mental picture of those deep hazel eyes tore at his soul. Shuichi looked around at the other books and magazines, unconsciously stopping at the manga section.

"What title are you looking for young man?" The stand owner asked politely.

"Eh… nothing really." Shuichi replied shyly.

"Well, if you like Yuki Eiri-sensei, he will release a brand new series."

"New one?" Shuichi perked up.

"Yup, I got some promotional copies… quite something, totally different from any of his other works."

"Do you have any left?" Shuichi asked, for some reason his heart began beating faster. He swore to cut all relation to Yuki Eiri, but he could not, he'd idolized him and loved him for far too long to just forget about him overnight.

"Lucky fellow, I only have one that I was holding for another costumer who never showed up." The man handed him the book, and Shuichi almost dropped it when he saw himself on the cover.

"Angel Sanctuary," He read aloud, running a finger over his own face. He quickly paid for it and ran to the train station. He wanted to read this more than anything. On his way to the station however, he ran past another interesting store. On its window, there was a huge poster of Ryuichi. Shu looked at it, and remembered his previous heartache. He went into the establishment, signed up, and waited to be called.

"Good afternoon sir," The polite clerk greeted, "what would you like to have done?"

"I don't know, I want a total change, cut, color… anything. I'll leave it up to you." Shuichi replied so ready for a change.

"Well, let's take a look," The woman smiled taking off his cap, and running a hand over his hair, "Your hair is gorgeous, why would you want to change it? I have costumers who would kill to have hair like yours."

"They can have it… all of it." Shu let out.

"Oh… up to me you said?" The woman smiled and guided him to a chair.

XXX

"I'm not sure whether I should be the one playing the synth next Friday." Suguru let out playing a few notes from Shinning Collection. Hiro stopped tuning his guitar and turned to the teen.

"Are we still talking about that… why the hell not?" He asked annoyed at the kid's lack of confidence.

"I mean, people want to see Grasper in action after so long, I mean, they're probably sick of me already. Tohma-kun should be the one to play with you guys." Suguru replied absently, but Hiro could tell he was feeling anything but.

"Why should he? You recorded the tune."

"Yeah, but I'm sure everyone would rather see Tohma-kun in action"

"Why would you say that? We ranked number two in Japan. We sold all those records as a band. That means Shuichi you and me. You have to give yourself more credit, you are a lot better than you think." Hiro put his guitar aside and went to the teen.

"I know I'm good, I just… I don't know, I feel sometimes that I don't matter, that I' am only where I' am because of my family ties... I feel like such an outcast." Suguru looked down. Hiro put a hand on his shoulder to make him feel better. At that moment the doors flew open and K-san charged in with Sakano in tow.

"Big news!" The blonde blurted taking in the scene, and smirking evilly, "ooh I'm gonna report you to the boss Hiro-chan." He chanted; Hiro took his hand off Suguru's shoulder and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, shouldn't you be babysitting a certain someone?" Hiro replied sarcastically, he could not comprehend what was so great about the blonde foreigner.

"Oh, he's ok, he's with his 'other' sitter" K smiled.

"His _other_ sitter?" Suguru repeated, immediately remembering Tatsuha. "So they did reconcile then?" the teen went from feeling bad, to worthless in a matter of seconds.

"I don't even want to know." Hiro rolled his eyes again, "So what's the big news?" He asked, changing the subject for Suguru's sake.

"Oh yes! I arranged an appearance on Live Wire, Ryuichi wants to do the new song with you guys."

"Don't we have to be in 'Jukebox' tonight Sakano-san?" Suguru asked turning to their manager.

"That's what I been trying to tell him!" The man replied helplessly.

"Ryuichi wants to do this. Are you going to deny such a powerful figure in the music industry?" K stated.

"Does Tohma approve of this?" Hiro asked ignoring K's question, Sakano turned to him hopeful, and K rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he does have a whole company to run, he can't bother to watch every band's business. Besides, the more publicity to his honey buns the better I'd say, ne Hiro-kun?" K smirked, Hiro glared at him, but the foreigner didn't seem to mind.

"Let's do it!" Another voice added excitedly, they all turned to see an approaching boy with bright pink hair smiling and waiving.

"Shindou-kun?" Sakano asked unsure. Suguru's eyes almost popped out of their sockets and Hiro started laughing like a child.

"What the hell did you do to your hair?" K asked matter of fact.

"What, you mean this?" The singer touched a strand of pink hair dismissively and shrugged, "I just cut it a little," He replied loosely.

"Shindou-san," Suguru came to him and bowed low, "I' am so sorry, I didn't mean it, I was just…"

"Why are you sorry about?" Shuichi asked confused, scratching his ear.

"If I hadn't said what I said yesterday…"

"What the hell are you talking about? You're all acting as if I chopped my arm or something… its just hair." Shuichi sat on a chair and crossed his arms waiting for them to stop making such a big fuss-- but loving every minute of it-- Suguru's expression had been priceless. "I think it would be good if we go with Grasper, we don't even have to tell Seguchi, remember the stun we pulled on the day of Gravity's release… he didn't get mad." Shuichi reassumed the previous conversation where it had left off.

" Yes I think so too." K agreed, nodding.

"Its way different, I doubt Tohma would go for this." Hiro insisted.

"That's right! We have to run it by Seguchi-sama," Sakano came to stand next to Hiro.

"You two are wusses!" Shuichi threw up his arms.

"It does sound appealing." Suguru said pensive.

"That's the spirit!" K encouraged, they all turned to Hiro.

"Wait, I'm not… why me?" The guitarist took a step back.

"Do we have to say it?" Shuichi rolled his eyes, and Hiro started laughing again.

'Sorry man… it's just… you look too cute!"

"Fuck you! Like I care what you think. Just get your ass upstairs and talk to Seguchi," Shuichi barked, "Fuck him if you must!"

"Talk to me about what?" Shuichi's face went dead white, and then turned all colors. He turned, very, very slowly and bowed low before his eyes made contact with his boss'.

"Seguchi-san…I'm sorry… I mean… I didn't,"

"What did you do to your hair?" Tohma asked disregarding the vulgar comment and the apology.

"I cut it." Shuichi replied, still bowing," Tohma turned to Sakano with a serious expression on his face.

"Who approved of this?" To this question, Shuichi lifted his head and set his lavender eyes on their producer.

"Approved?" He asked confused.

" It is stated in your contract that you are not to alter your appearance without the consent of your manager. In this case Sakano-san." The said manager watched Shuichi's face going from embarrassment to anger; he quickly stepped forward before the singer could further anger the blonde producer.

"We discussed it yesterday Seguchi-sama, and we all agree on how similar Sakuma-san and Shindou-kun look, so we thought that since you will all be doing shows together, that a change might be in order." The manager replied nervously. Tohma looked at Shuichi, then at Hiro, then back at Shuichi.

"So you all agree with this new look then?" Everyone except Shuichi nod, "Very well… Hiro, come with me." Tohma walked out of the studio with Hiro in tow. The producer walked down the hall, followed by his lover in silence, turned the corner, stopped, turned to meet the long haired man's eyes and began laughing hysterically. Hiro cracked up as well.

"It's the same thing I said!" The guitarist leaned on his lover's shoulder with one hand and held his stomach with the other.

"Pink?" Tohma could hardly talk; it had taken all his will not to burst out laughing in front of the boy.

"Hey! It don't look that bad." Hiro held onto the wall now.

"Oh man… that made my day." Tohma leaned and kissed Hiro quickly on the lips.

"What do I owe this honor?" Hiro asked. Since the day of the release, they'd hardly saw each other, other than at night, and by then they were too tired to do much.

"I just wanted to see you, I'd had a rough morning." Tohma kissed him again.

"Already? It's just ten." Hiro kissed him this time.

"Yeah, tell me about it!" Tohma rolled his eyes, and then remembered, "Weren't you supposed to go upstairs to ask me something… fuck me if you must?"

"Oh yeah, about tonight's Live Wire. It seems Ryu-san got us a spot and wants to do Shinning Collection. They figured if I gave you head, you might allow it."

"If you give me head, I might think about it." Tohma purred.

"Tough job," Hiro sighed holding the bridge of his nose, "But somebody's gotta do it." grabbing Tohma's hand, Bad Luck's guitarist literally pulled the mogul towards the elevators.

XXX

"Eiri-san, we have to leave. You have a magazine interview at two, a photo shoot for _New Type_ at four, and we have to be at the television station by eight for the show tonight." Yuki's assistant read his itinerary as one would a bible. Yuki sat at his desk reading the Oricon charts and was feeling pretty giddy that Bad Luck had ranked so high. Of course he would never tell a soul about it. He put the magazine down and looked at the copy of Gravity on his desk. He had to smile as he remember how he came to own the CD he'd bow not to buy.

XXX Flashback XXX 

Yuki came into his office building. The short vacation trip had not turned out as relaxing as he had hoped. He walked past everyone without even giving them a glance, ignoring their greetings and foolish questions about his trip.

Once in his spacious office, Yuki slumped on his desk, thankful for the moment's peace. Since he'd told Mikka to go ahead and set a date for the wedding, the woman had not left him be.

"Hmph, I'm not even married and I already want a divorce." He sighed, slouching on his chair even more. He turned his head and saw a pile of 'important' letters and a few 'urgent' messages by the phone. He wished he had the will to work, to care the way he used to. Life was getting too difficult too fast, and he had no idea how to deal with it. His memories went back to that day at the springs, Shuichi holding on to that second rate singer, whispering in his ear. It had infuriated him to the point of wanting to hurt someone. And it was because of that stupid fury that he had rashly promised Mikka that they'd tie the knot.

"What to do… what to do?" He asked the EVA -01 model on his desk. A knock interrupted his thoughts, Yuki snapped his eyes to the door indignated, but thankful to have someone to unleash his fury on.

"Who is it?" He snapped.

"Onizuka, Yuki-sama." The mild voice of his manager replied.

"Come in." The man let himself in and bowed.

"How was your trip Yuki-sama? We are very glad to have you back." Yuki snapped his eyes to a package the man was holding, ignoring everything the man had just said "This came for you this morning, the messenger said to make sure it was given to you personally… I was not sure whether I…"

"Who sent it?" Yuki cut the man in mid sentence.

"NG Records." Onizuka came closer and set a box on the desk. Yuki looked at it, and then turned to his manager.

"We're releasing a Promo copy of Angel Sanctuary next Monday. Assemble everybody for a meeting in one hour." Onizuka bowed and left without another word.

Yuki sat staring at the package for a long while before daring to touch it.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" He asked disgusted with himself and his childish behavior. He took the package and tore the brown paper determinately. Inside there was a note, he took it and had to smile at Tohma's handwritten words.

"I saw the way you were looking at his cute face,

so I thought this would cheer you up.

_Love_

_Tohma_

_PS: This my friend, is a very special, one of its kind, ultra-super rare edition… take care of it with your life." _

Yuki smiled in spite of himself. He set the note aside and examined the contents of the box one by one. There it was of course, the special edition copy of Gravity, a bonus DVD, Shindou Shuichi stationary and other Shuichi related items, a VIP "all access" backstage pass, to what Yuki guessed would be for their upcoming concerts. His name printed in bold letters.

He threw it all back in the box, and set it aside, taking only the CD. He got up and put it in his stereo and played it loud.

"…I gotta go home and draw." He sighed as the first song ended; he put the CD carefully back in its case and left.

"We'll have our meeting in the morning, I'm leaving now" Yuki said over his shoulder to an approaching Onizuka. The manager bowed used to the sudden change in plans

XXX End of Flashback XXX 

" I know very well what I have to do, just do me a favor and wait outside, I have a phone call to make, and tell Onizuka to take all my calls." Yuki came out of his reminiscing, and grouched in his usual bossy way. The man bowed and left.

Yuki grabbed the phone and dialed,

"_Well, this is a surprise!"_ Tohma Seguchi exclaimed breathlessly. Yuki smirked knowing that tone too well.

"I just called to congratulate you on your very well deserved top spot Seguchi-sama, and to properly thank you for the little gift you sent, the garbage can really appreciates it… oh, and say hi to Hiro-kun for me, I know he's down there." Yuki smirked picturing the scene, did his old flame got any work done now that he had a new man?

"_The things you say Eiri-kun!" _Tohma laughed, _"Are you going to congratulate Bad Luck as well, they did a hell of a lot better than I expected."_

"_Hey!"_ Eiri could hear Hiro in the background.

"I'm sure you already did a lot of congratulating… isn't that what you're doing now producer-sama?"

"Something like that."

"Anyway, I'll see you tonight, we'll talk a bit more, I'll be doing an interview on tonight's 'Jukebox', I was told this morning that you'll be in the panel as well." There was a silence on the other end of the line.

"_Really, that's good, I didn't know you'd be doing any shows this time around."_ Tohma said a bit uncomfortable.

"I will be releasing a brand new series, is it that wrong of me to want to promote it?"

"You've never have before."

"Well, times change, anyway, I will not take more of your time… enjoy." Yuki chanted.

"_This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the fact that Bad Luck will be in that show as well would it Eiri?"_ Tohma asked tightly.

"Is that so? What makes you think that I have time to worry about such trivialities? You do know I have a whole company to run and a wedding that needs planning. By the way, we set the day already… you'll never believe it!" Yuki retort casually, running a hand through his hair. Tohma sat up tightening his features, Hiro just looked at his grave face without saying a word.

"_You're not seriously going to go through with that nonsense are you Eiri?_ The producer let out tonelessly.

"Of course I will, in fact I'm very much looking forward to it, of course I want everyone to share my happiness so I'm going to announce it on tonight's show."

"_You wouldn't!" _Tohma challenged.

"Hey! What's with the tone, I'd think you'd be happy for me. Well, I have to go, my day is pretty booked, lucky the ones who have time for blowjobs." And without waiting for a reply, the mangaka hanged up.

XXX

Tohma was left with a sour taste in his mouth. Why was Eiri acting so childishly? Hadn't he learned anything, didn't he know that he'll end up miserable just like he had?

"Are you alright Tohma?" Hiro asked concerned, sitting next to his lover.

"Yeah, it just gets me how he operates sometimes." The producer patted Hiro's hand.

"You can baby-sit him forever." Hiro let out, "He will end up resenting you." Tohma looked at his lover and smiled sadly, knowing all too well the veracity of those words.

"I know, I won't interfere anymore, let him do what he wishes and hope that he won't regret it. Although I know he will, but then again, that's probably what needs to happen." Tohma sat back remembering all times."

XXXFlashbackXXX

"Get her off my back!" Yuki snapped as Tohma busied himself reading the record label's newest projections.

"I thought moving in with Mikka was the best thing you ever did." Tohma said nonchalantly, not taking his eyes off the papers in front of him.

"Shut up! The woman does not let me work! I didn't think anyone could be this annoying." The young mangaka ran a hand through his hair.

"I told you would regret it, I know very well that you do not take commitment that kindly."

"What is that supposed to mean? I am a lot more committed than you." Tohma ignored him and feigned to continue on reading, "I hate the bitch, get her off my back!" The young hotheaded artist repeated menacingly.

"If you hate her that much, break up with her." Tohma looked up.

"Wouldn't you like that Tohma oniisan… to have me all to yourself." Yuki spat.

"You moved in with her out of spite, so now live with it. I have nothing to do with your immaturity."

"You owe me!" Eiri slammed his palm on the desk, Tohma shifted his cold eyes to the mangaka, but the young blonde did not back down.

"I owe you? I do nothing but to live on your beck and call, I give you everything you ask and even what you don't and you have the gall to come here and tell me that I owe you?" Tohma's tone was low and slow… his most menacing one

"I…Look, I don't mean to give you a hard time… I just, she's driving me crazy!" Eiri came around the desk and kneeled, setting his head on Tohma's lap. The mogul instinctively caressed his longish blonde locks

"But what can I do?" Tohma asked calming down. Eiri lifted his head, setting his stressed eyes on his lover.

"Mikka said she wants to act, you have connections, I'm sure you can get her an audition or two." Eiri came up and held Tohma's face with his own, "Just get her away from me for a while, so that I can breathe." Eiri begged.

"I can do that, but I'll have no control over the outcome of those auditions." The producer said matter of fact, "How about singing? I can guarantee a deal for that."

"Would you?" Eiri perked.

"What would you do for it?" Tohma purred seductively.

"Oh you have no idea…"

XXX End of Flashback XXX

Maybe then Shuichi will make his move." Hiro said claiming Tohma's attention.

"What if he doesn't?" The producer couldn't shake the bad feeling that crept up his spine.

"Then we're there for him to console him."

XXX

Why didn't you tell me Yuki would be a guest on the show?" Shuichi demanded exasperated, running a hand through his hair. Hiro just looked the other way pretending he didn't know what his friend was talking about.

"What makes you think I knew?" The longhaired man lamely disputed the obvious.

"Like Seguchi wouldn't tell you!" Shuichi paced the room back and forth, running his hand again through his newly pink locks, "I can't share a show with him… I'm not ready." The singer finally admitted what he'd been denying for so long.

"I thought you didn't give a fuck about him anymore." Hiro reminded him of the statement Shuichi must have made a thousand times.

"You know me better than that Hiro…" The singer's eyes seemed lost.

"It was out of Tohma's hands, he only found out this morning… if that makes you feel any better." Hiro tried to cheer him up. Shuichi only gave him a weak smile that needed no words.

"What can you do ne? I guess I'll have to tough it up. Like they say 'the show must go on'" Shu sighed resigning himself.

"At least we'll only be doing a performance this time, and don't have to sit in the panel with him." Hiro added.

"But why would Sakano-san schedule us with him?

"I don't think he realized it, besides… I don't think he 'knows'" Hiro quoted adding emphasis to the last part.

"Everyone knows I'm a loser who cannot keep a man interested long enough." Shuichi mumbled.

"You're being too hard on yourself,"

"How so? Yuki didn't even give me a chance, and Ryuichi moved on before we even got to do anything."

"You're a bigger martyr than Joan of Arc?"

"Joan of who… whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore." Shuichi sat down, "But I do feel pretty betrayed, I bet Seguchi could have done something."

"In spite of what you might think, we are not NG's top priority, Tohma has a whole company to run, and he cannot be on top of our petty business twenty-four-seven." Hiro defended his love's reliability.

"I know…I'm sorry I'm just frustrated, forgive me if I sound so whiny, but after reading his new book, I don't know if I can handle a meeting with him." Shuichi admitted.

"I know! What's that all about?" Hiro asserted, "I paged through it… that dude looks just like you."

"It is me… I mean, I think it is." Shuichi was quick to correct himself.

"Then that's good isn't it? Eiri-san is actually writing manga about you." Hiro again tried to cheer his friend. "That must mean something."

"Did you read it?"

"No,"

"Do… then we talk. The man hates me Hiro, and the bitch of it all is that I don't know why."

"He just doesn't know what he wants. Tohma told me that he would not speak to him for months at the time, then he would come around as if nothing, he had a really hard childhood, didn't have friends or anyone to talk to, that's why I think…"

"This is great! Now _my _best friend is making excuses for _him_." Shuichi threw his hands up.

"It's not excuses, but I know what it feels to be a misfit. I was a rebel without a cause right until I met you."

"What are you saying?"

"That if you were able to change me, you can change him."

"I don't have time for this." Shuichi snapped not wanting to hear any more and get his hopes up. He got up and went to the door.

"Then, if you won't try forget about him once and for all and, stop being such a sorry wuss. You're a good looking guy, you can get a man like this" Hiro clicked his fingers for emphasis, "You don't need him."

Shuichi looked at his friend. Wondering just whose side he was? Sometimes he seemed to encourage him to fight, and others, he would sound as if he was on Yuki's side or as if he didn't care altogether. "Just read that manga, then you tell me what you think I should do."

"Would you do it? That's the real question." Hiro let out. Shuichi looked at him a bit longer, then walked out not knowing where to go and hide.

Yuki's manga was about a demon and a demon slayer… was that the way he felt about him? The singer shook his head trying to clear it from thoughts of the blonde man. He'll deal with it, he always did. He'll share the show with him tonight, and tomorrow would be a new day, and a new beginning for him.

XXX

Tohma came into the spacious dressing room. Eiri sat still, with a hairdresser still working on his golden locks. The mangaka waived for her to leave, she did, and no sooner than the room was cleared, Tohma Seguchi turned his wrath on his ex-lover.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?" Yuki shifted his golden eyes to his ex resentfully.

"Why would I do that, and why are you so adamant about sticking up for those brats as if you were their bitch?" Tohma's gaze hardened.

"Think what you want, I don't know what is your game, but I think you should stop."

"I don't know what you mean, I will release a new project and I'm here to promote it just like your boys, so don't come to me with your petty threats… I'm not afraid of you." Eiri spat angrily.

"Yuki stop!" Tohma only called him by his alias when he was upset beyond his limits, "I read your 'new' project"

"So, did you like it?" Yuki smirked.

"If you don't want to be with him don't be, but leave him be… he doesn't deserve this." Tohma continued ignoring Yuki's sarcasm.

"What are you? Advocate for the suffering?"

"You know? I thought you'd get over yourself and admit you have feelings for Shuichi, but now, I hope you don't. You are not good enough for him." Yuki's gaze on the producer turned hateful. Shuichi's words immediately came to mind.

"I was good enough for you." Tohma's eyes hardened as well.

"No you weren't." The producer turned and made his way out without another word. Yuki stared after him long after he was gone. Grabbing a vase of flowers the show's producers sent him; he threw it against the door, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Fuck you! Fuck you both, I don't need you… I don't need anybody." The last part was barely a whisper. He covered his eyes with a shaky hand, and for the first time in years… he let the tears flow.

XXX

As soon as Tohma left Eiri, he got on the phone with the show's execs. He could tolerate a lot, especially from those he loved, but this time Eiri was being malicious, and that, he would not allow.

X

Somewhere else in the building, Bad Luck waited in silence, their usual bubbly mood, or petty arguments seemed a thing of the past. Tensions ran high and spirits low.

"It'll be alright," Hiro voiced to his pensive friend. Shuichi shifted his eyes to the longhaired man for a second, and then went back to his previous mopping self.

"Do you think we should do another song? I mean we did No Style last week." Suguru asked absently trying to lighten the tense mood. He didn't care either way, but as much as he hated to admit, the heavy silence was killing him. Shuichi shifted his gaze to look at him, then back to the floor.

"I'm game, but we already rehashed it." Hiro replied joining the conversation.

"I know, but I kind of like Blade better." Suguru continued in hopes to get Shuichi to join, but the singer seemed miles away.

The doors flew open and Tohma barged in with Sakano in tow. "Change of plans," The producer stated seriously. You're doing Shining Collection with Grasper. I already called Ryuichi and Noriko they should be here soon. I will join the panel as a guest as it was planned, right before you are to play."

"What!" All three member of Bad Luck exclaimed in unison.

"You said First Stage had first rights to a joint performance." Hiro questioned disbelievingly, it was so unlike Tohma to pull something like this all of a sudden.

" I changed my mind. In any case, they pushed us to the end of the program to give the others time to get ready. They'll say Bad Luck is having technical difficulty and keep Grasper as a surprise guest."

"Why are you doing this Tohma-kun?" Suguru asked confused.

"Let's just say I'm stealing a bastard's thunder." The blonde mogul stated simply.

"Yuki's?" Shuichi asked lowly. Tohma shifted his eyes to him, but didn't utter a reply.

"Sakano-san, is Grasper's equipment here already? We barely have time to get it installed by the end of the show." The producer turned to the nervous manager.

"Not yet Seguchi-sama, but more importantly, Noriko-san just called. Ukai-sensei is not doing very well. She might not make it." Tohma turned to Suguru.

"I will be your back up." He stated not surprised by the bad news. He had a talk to Noriko after they came back from Hokkaido, and this time it seemed to be worst than the others. Ukai-sensei's health was declining quickly and Noriko was a nervous wreck.

"But I was Noriko-san's back up" Suguru protested.

"I know, you're taking her place, I'm taking yours." Tohma replied matter of fact.

"But…" The teen was cut by his cousin's hand.

"You know the song well, you can do it." Tohma smiled warmly.

"What about First Stage?" Hiro asked.

"I'll deal with them later."

"Shuuuuu-chan!" The doors flew open again and a running Ryuichi stopped dead in his tracks in front of the younger singer. He looked at him for a few moments, then a huge grin adorned his features, "Your hair matches Kuma-chan. I love it, you look so cute!" And the older man threw himself on the younger singer and hugged him tight.

"What the hell did you do to your hair?" Tatsuha's snickered making his way into the crowded room.

"What? Are you Ryu's shadow now?" Shuichi let out sarcastically, happy that the two had solved their issues.

"You want me to be your shadow… I can dye my hair blonde." The teen grinned back.

"Tatsuha!" Tohma warned. Suguru moved to a corned to avoid the arriving couple, and hoped Tatsuha didn't turn his sarcasm on him. He was not in the mood for the monk.

"Make it purple, then we'll match." Shuichi husked sexily ignoring the producer.

"In what fucked up world does pink and purple match?" Hiro laughed, happy that Shu was in better spirits.

"They do!" Ryuichi turned to the guitarist and the conviction on his face made Hiro laugh louder.

"I'm glad you're all having a great time, but shouldn't you be getting ready?" Tohma interrupted.

"Party pooper!" Tatsuha coughed.

"I want to match with Shu!" Ryuichi whined, K-kun, get Kouske-kun to get me the same outfit," The older singer turned to his manager, who had been standing by the door all along.

"We don't have time Ryuichi..." Tohma began.

"Are you doubting my Kou-kun?" Ryuichi put a hand to his chest in mock offence, "He can do the impossible I'll have you know." Ryuichi stated proudly, turning to look for his assistant, and smiling when he saw he was already gone.

"Ryu-kun, the reason why I colored my hair like this is so that people stop saying I'm your clone." Shuichi explained.

"Who cares what people say? I like Shu-kun's look, don't you like how I look?"

"I do!" Tatsuha raised a hand dutifully. Shuichi rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored him.

"It's not that, I just want to have my own style."

"I have my style, and tonight that style is to look like Shu-chan." Ryuichi smiled innocently.

"How can you argue with this face?" Tatsuha came and held his lover's face for Shuichi to see. Ryuichi gave him puppy eyes and a pout.

"I guess not," Shuichi smiled warmly, "…I guess not."

XXX

A/N: Kyaaaa The suspense is killing me! Don't throw tomatoes at me yet. Since the chapter is so long, I DIDdivede itit into two parts… just in case you have to go to work or something (ehehe) If not, go on to the second exiting part. (Where the best was saved for last)


	27. No! Virtual: Part II

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any manga/anime mentioned within this story. 

Ok, before you begin reading this chapter, I have to warn you… IT IS LONG! Yes, very long, I contemplated cutting it into parts, but I know you guys will yell at me if I did (See how easy I give in?). I recommend that you have ample time to read this in its entirety; because once you start it WILL be hard to stop. Now having said that… ENJOY

**No! Virtual (Part Two)**

"Our next panelist, rarely grant interviews or do television appearances. He lets his masterful works speak for him," The host stood to announce the show's biggest guest. In his whole career he'd never had so many huge stars in the same show. When he was told that morning that Yuki Eiri somehow managed to convince their original guest to give up their spot, he had been ecstatic. Hard as he'd tried, he'd never been able to get the elusive mangaka to make even a small appearance before, and to find out that the mangaka himself had wanted to be here was more than he could ever wished.

Later, when he heard that Nittle Grasper was going to join Bad Luck and do the nation's number one single for the first time on his stage, he had almost passed out. And the best part of it all was that the audience had no idea the treat they were in for. His ratings were going to hit the roof after the next commercial.

"It is a great honor to introduce to join our humble panel, the greatest mangaka of out time… Yuki Eiri-sensei." The crowd went wild. And when the tall, elusive blonde man walked out in that cool manner of his, the crowd gave him a standing ovation.

Shuichi set his eyes on the tall form, as he gracefully strode his way to the panel. While the other members of Bad Luck were out by the wings, he hid in his dressing room with Ryuichi, Tatsuha and Tohma.

"Ooh, my bro is here too!" The monk exclaimed, "Had I known, I would have gone say hi." He added sarcastically.

"I want to say hi too!" Ryuichi echoed-- minus the sarcasm.

"That was sarcasm babe." Tatsuha turned to his love with an arched brow.

Shuichi just stared at the object of all his anguish with a pained expression. He looked so good. His black suit hanged just right, his purple silk shirt opened to mid chest, revealing his toned chest, his longish hair had grown a little since the last time he saw him, and it now hanged rebelliously just above his shoulders.

"Look good, doesn't he?" Shuichi almost jumped out of his skin at Tatsuha's intruding whisper. He turned to the monk ready to curse him, but was interrupted by Ryuichi's arms around his neck.

"You go talk to him after the show, ne Shu… we'll be rooting for you." The older man encouraged. The monk gave him the thumbs up to emphasize the statement. Shuichi smiled bitterly. Did he look that pitiful? He wished it could all go away, that he was stronger and able to move on unfazed, but he was not, and so people took pity on him… and he hated it.

X

"Yuki-sensei," The show's host bowed as Yuki took his seat at the panel, he smiled warmly at the crowd, and the deafening roars began once more. "It is most certainly an honor to have you here tonight," The host tried to talk above the crowd to quite them.

"The honor is all mine, I thank you for having me." the mangaka replied in his deep voice and the place went quiet.

"I had the pleasure of reading your new book this morning, and I must say is very different from your previous works." The man began.

"Well, I feel I needed a little change, I'm very good at drawing robots and ninjas, so I thought I'd give a try at angels and such." Yuki smiled charismatically, making the crowd start the noise anew.

He went on to answer a series of question in regards his newest work. The host left no detail out and he was having a hard time keeping to himself the fact that it was based on an actual person… Shuichi.

X

"Hell! you'd think he's an angel himself, look at that guy's eyes, he's about to jump him!" Tatsuha remarked at the host's behavior jealously. In fact, he'd known that devotion when he was a small child, he would have killed to have Eiri even talk to him even if it was to insult him.

"And you're jealous! Tatsu-chan," Ryuichi laughed.

"Am not! Shut up!" The monk hit his lover on the arm. Shuichi listened to every word intently; he almost wished his love would say the whole point of the book was to express his hate for him. He didn't of course.

X

"And finally, the question in everyone's mind. You didn't think I'd have you here and not ask Yuki-sensei." The man said. It wasn't everyday one got the chance to sit and have a one on one talk with the powerful artist. "Is there wedding bells in the near future?"

"Somehow I knew this was coming." Yuki admitted with a smirk.

"Can you blame me?" The host grinned back.

"You do know that Mikka just released an album. She's actually really busy." Yuki began elusively.

"Ah yes, and most interesting concept. Her whole style evolved. There is no longer the pop quality to her music, but something much more mature instead." Yuki almost laughed aloud, the man sounded as if he was reading a review right out of a magazine.

"Yeah well, people do grow," Yuki agreed, "But to answer your question, we are getting married soon." The crowd went wild some women even began crying. Yuki seemed very puzzled by this, but continued, "In fact, Mikka and I already set a date." Yuki confirmed.

"Congratulations Yuki-sensei!" The man exclaimed more surprised than the blonde actually replied the question, "And when would that be, if its not too intruding?"

"Before the year's end." Yuki replied with an angelic smile, and the crowd got so out of control hat they had to go on commercial.

XXX

Shuichi's world came crushing down on him… _before the year's end_… he tried to tell himself that he didn't care, that Yuki was part of his past, not even a part of his past, he'd never been part of his life at all. But even though his mind screamed these thoughts, the tears began sliding down his cheeks and he could not stop them.

"Shu-kun…" Ryuichi whispered somewhere, miles away. Tatsuha's black eyes softened and Tohma glared at the screen angrily.

"Before the years end? Oh my god, that's less than two months away!" The man exclaimed disbelievingly, clasping his hands together. Shuichi looked the other way to hide his tearful eyes from the ones in the room. He wanted to rum away, to be alone, but his pride screamed at him to be strong.

"And why are you doing this all of a sudden, I mean you and Costa-san have been engaged for so long." The man observed still not believing his ears, he wanted to get up and go check on his ratings.

"Mikka is a hopeless romantic, and the day she chose means a lot to her." Yuki replied sounding very much like the happy groom.

"And you Yuki-sensei, is it important to you as well?"

"As long as I get to go on a honey moon, I'm all set." The blonde joked, and the two men laughed.

X

"What the hell, that's like a month away!" Tatsuha exclaimed perplexed. Both Ryuichi and Tohma snapped their eyes to him disapprovingly. Shuichi got up and walked away from them keeping his eyes on the ground.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he stated tonelessly. On his way out Hiro and Suguru caught up to him. His best friend put a hand on his shoulder and gave the sad singer a sympathetic look, hating the mangaka for doing this on purpose. Hiro now understood Tohma's actions.

"Sorry man," The longhaired guitarist mouthed not knowing what else to say.

"Sorry about what?" Shuichi snapped his eyes to him. Hiro didn't reply, "I'm going to pee… do you mind?" He snapped and hurried his pace. Once in the restroom, he locked himself in, leaned against the wall and covered his mouth to keep his sobs from escaping.

Ryuichi stood just outside waiting for his friend to come out. Very few times in his life has he felt this powerless. He wanted to help; he really did, but had no idea how. For now, he knew that the only thing to do was be there for him. He waited patiently praying that Shuichi be all right.

XXX

"How is Mika?" Tohma asked as soon as Ryuichi left the room after Shuichi. He remembered the way she'd look that night, in fact, he had been plagued with guilt for making her feel that way. Even though he knew it was for the best, he could not help but to feel dire.

Later he'd come to find out that she had fired all the maids, most likely so they wouldn't see her in the state she was in. Once again the Uesugi pride was playing its primary role, to keep them isolated and miserable. He was glad to see Tatsuha had broken free from their curse… if only the other two did the same.

"Not too good." The young monk replied with a hint of accusation.

"I hope you know that our marriage was nothing but a sham," Tohma stated apologetically, "Still, I didn't mean to make her sad."

"It isn't my place to judge you, I just answered your question." Tatsuha replied matter of fact. He'd found out through Ryu about the fake pregnancy but he'd known about the lovers his sister kept for a while, so he couldn't really blame the man. Although he did resented him a little for having being involved with Eiri. But that as well, wasn't any of his business.

"Do you mind if I go see her?" Tohma asked softly.

"I don't of course, but I don't think it's a good idea. She's really vulnerable right now, besides, she knows about you and Eiri."

"I am worried, she isn't replying my calls." Tohma stated ignoring the teen's words.

"She's alive, I can attest to that much," Tatsuha smiled sadly, a very rare expression for him.

"I'll go by tomorrow, hopefully she'll see me." Tohma ended, more to himself than anything else. It was true that he was worried about her, but sooner or later they needed to talk about their impending divorce.

Hiro and Suguru came in with ashen expressions; the longhaired guitarist sat next to his lover and gave him a gloomy smile. Suguru on the other hand, went to the furthest corner of the room and stood there pretending to be reading a magazine.

"Fifteen minutes!" A technician came and announced politely.

"I'll go get Shuichi-san and Sakuma-san." Suguru ran out. Tohma and Hiro stood and went out as well.

X

"A bit stuffy in there huh?" Hiro remarked once they were out in the hallway and walking towards the stage.

"I'm going to see Mika tomorrow and formally ask her for a divorce." Tohma stated putting on his fingerless gloves.

"Isn't it too soon?" Hiro questioned marveling at his lover. This was the first time he saw him in his 'Grasper' get up. He loved how his lover looked in his flashy suits and colorful silk shirts and ties, but there was an air of danger about the way he looked now. The musician smacked himself inwardly for being so insensitive and think about this sort of things in spite of what was going on, but he could rape his lover here and now, tear those tight leather pants and black turtle neck off of him, and ravage him for all it was worth.

"The more I wait the more false hope I let her harness. I think the sooner she realizes this time is for real, the better we'll all be."

"You know her best I guess, but I think you should wait a bit longer." Hiro murmured still blushing.

"I know what you're thinking." Tohma smirked mischievously.

"No you don't." Hiro replied hiding his reddening cheeks.

"Later, I'll let you rip this ridiculously tight pants off of me." The producer let out with a sweet smile, and hurried along.

XXX

"Shu-kun, can I come in?" Ryuichi asked softly. He waited for a reply but it never came, the older singer let himself in to find the pink haired youth sitting on the floor, knees drawn up, head hidden between them. Ryuichi sat next to him, and put an encouraging hand on the pink locks. "Is not the end of the world you know?" The singer assured as lowly as before. Shuichi looked up, his eyes were red from crying.

"No matter what I do, I can't stop loving him. I know he's a bastard, I know he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself, I know he doesn't deserve what I have to give, but still… I just can't hate him." Shuichi whimpered hopelessly, and went back to hide his face.

"You don't have to hate him, you just have to understand him." Again, the young singer looked up to his mentor's green hopeful eyes. "Ask yourself why he pushes you away."

"I…I have no answer to that." Shuichi admitted defeated.

"I think its fear." Ryuichi stated confidently.

"Fear?" Shuichi repeated, somehow that word and Yuki Eiri didn't seem to belong in the same sentence.

"Yes, fear of getting hurt,"

"Hmph, that's a joke!" Shuichi spat, remembering their exchange in Hokkaido.

"I had a lover a long time ago. I thought we'd be together forever," Ryuichi began, remembering the distant past. " But one day he left me out of the blue. I thought my life was over, and for a long time I wouldn't let anyone get close. But then Tatsuha came along and now I'm whole again." The bunny wielding man ended, and turned to his newfound friend.

Shuichi could not fathom anyone leaving sweet, loving Ryuichi, and was grateful the god was trying to cheer him up but… "How does that relate to Yuki and I? We were never lovers or anything, it's just me and my idiotic dreams that took me too far just because of a one night stand."

"Don't you see? If I hadn't gone and talked to Tatsu to clear things, we wouldn't be together now. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and give in a little. It doesn't always take two to tango." Ryuichi asserted.

"It's not that easy between us." Shu lamented, going back to his previous sulking position. Ryuichi knotted his brows frustratingly.

"You're a coward!" The singer let out. Shu's eyes opened wide with shock. He'd never head such anger from his friend and idol before… _why did he care so much? _"You are a coward!" Ryuichi repeated passionately. "If you won't fight for what you want, then maybe you didn't deserve it to begin with." The passion in the man's eyes, gave a warm tingling to Shuichi's stomach.

"But I don't know what I'm fighting against! I don't know what to apologize for!"

"It doesn't matter, just bare your soul and give it all you got. At the very least, if it doesn't work out, you know you tried your very best. If you leave it like this, you'll always have that little doubt in the back of your head… _what if_."

Suguru popped his head in, "We got fifteen minutes." Ryuichi got to his feet and held out a helping hand to Shuichi.

"Think about it," The older man said to Shu, and then turned to the teen "Thank you Su-chan… are you ready to rock this joint?" He asked patting the teen's shoulder. Suguru nodded and gave him a little smile. Then Ryuichi went out first leaving the two Bad Luck members behind.

"You heard?" Shu asked, setting his sad eyes on Suguru.

"He's right! Look at me. He fought for what he wanted and I didn't." Then the teen left quickly rubbing his eye suspiciously.

Shuichi inhaled deeply and exhaled to calm his nerves. He remembered the first time he played in front of Yuki, and how that wonderful night had ended. This night wouldn't end the same way, of that he was sure, but at the very least he would give Ryuichi's advice a try.

XXX

Yuki sat at the panel with the other night's guest, who incidentally was a writer, whose works he favored. He'd been told Seguchi Tohma would be a guest as well, but his name had not been called, surprising him somewhat. Tohma wouldn't cancel his interview because of their argument; his ex lover was too cold for that.

The show was currently on a commercial break. The writer was making small chitchat about Angel Sanctuary-- one that Yuki would have enjoyed any other time-- but now seemed trivial and annoying. His attention was half into the man's words; he looked at his watch impatiently; there was only fifteen minutes left to the show. And frankly he could not wait that long for it to end. His rep had told him that Bad Luck had the opening act and that was the only reason he was here. The stressed mangaka could not understand why he had felt the need to schedule himself with them, or why he was so obsessed with Shuichi's comings and goings. It wasn't love he knew that. He had loved Tohma-- still did-- and never had he been so infatuated and obsessed with him as he was with Shuichi.

Another small time band had opened instead. And here he was with a bunch of idiots, and a book already late for printing that needed his attention badly. Yuki knew they were here though, he'd seen their manager Sakano backstage, and he was sure Tohma was still here as well; he was never too far from Hiro… _what's going on?_ Then it hit him.

"You're a devil Tohma." Yuki chuckled smacking himself inwardly for not realizing it sooner.

"I'm sorry?" The writer asked startled by the comment. At the same time, the cue that they were back on the air came and all fell silent.

The lights went out, and the guitar opening of Shinning Collection flooded the air. The audience went wild as the number one single in the country grew louder and louder. The public had come to see Bad Luck, but instead they got the greatest surprise of all. Grasper's first live appearance in three years. It made Yuki's announcement pale in comparison… exactly what Tohma wanted.

Multi colored lights danced throughout the stage, smoke covered the moving platform allowing only a peek of the chart-topping gods. A keyboard followed the spectacular guitar intro, the scrams almost swallowing the music.

Yuki shook his head amused at Tohma's cunning, it was just like his ex to come up with such a plan in such short notice and actually pull it off. He drank a big gulp from the water glass in front of him, and looked on as the light came to a halt on two figures standing in exactly the same way, wearing exactly the same clothes, who otherwise looked exactly the same, save one difference… their hair.

Yuki spat his water and chocked on it as he set his eyes on Shuichi's bright pink mane. He coughed violently, thankful that the cameras were no longer on the panel to catch the embarrassing scene.

"Eiri-sensei… are you alright?" The show's host came forward concerned, and put a hand on the mangaka's back. Yuki just nodded and gave the man the thumbs up, still coughing up water.

"Went down the wrong way," The blonde laughed casually once he regained his composure. His eyes still set on the two figures as they began dancing around the stage. Their movements mirroring each other, Yuki watched jealously how they looked one another, their smiles. He felt more than a stab of jealousy as he watched with hidden contempt the two lovers flirt with each other in front of millions.

Suddenly the two singers stopped their dance and shifted their eyes straight to the screaming crowd. Their song began, and everyone suddenly went silent. Yuki shifted his eyes to Tohma, who was looking right at him with cold eyes. The mangaka smirked at him and turned his attention to the two singers and their love game on stage.

"That's right, Seguchi Tohma-sama is your brother-in-law Eiri-sensei!" The shows host stated excitedly, "And you kept this surprise all to yourself," The man laughed. Yuki turned to him, and the cold murderous look he gave him, made the man choke on his laughter.

"The show is over after this right?" The blonde mangaka asked coldly.

"Yes…" The shows host replied in a small voice.

"Then I'm leaving," Yuki stood, and even though it was customary for the whole panel to go on stage after the final act was over, and wave goodbye to the cameras, no one was about to argue with the imposing artist.

Yuki walked straight to his dressing room, he could still hear the music in the background, and then a voice he knew so well.

"_C'mon everybody… sing with me!" _followed by Sakuma's follow up encouragement.

"Hmph…" Yuki grabbed his things and headed straight to his car, and away from this place.

XXX

"Wow, that was awesome!" Tatsuha ran to Ryuichi and grabbed him into a bear hug, lifting him off the ground and kissing the singer almost savagely. After the awesome performance they had been plagued by reporters—which god knows how they turned up so quickly—The crowd had gone wild and the police had to intervene to calm the riotous fans down.

"I thought people were going to tear us apart!" Suguru sighed rubbing his shoulder, eyeing the 'uncalled for' scene uncomfortably.

"I know!" Shuichi exclaimed exited on the outside, but a bit disappointed at not seeing Yuki's expression after the show.

"And Hiro-kun is so 'inconspicuous,' he threw himself to protect Tohma-kun… I'm so jealous!" Ryuichi whined holding on to Tatsuha.

"Let's just hope people didn't notice, and give it the wrong meaning." Tohma stated, always preoccupied, he would not have people ridicule Hiro.

"You're welcome! See if I care the next time you get mobbed." Hiro let out feigning hurt.

"Well, if by 'wrong meaning' you mean people starting rumors that you two are lovers… I guess people will give it the wrong meaning." K stated already seeing the potential of this scandal.

"I'm sorry," Hiro said, seriously.

"Don't worry about it love, I doubt that with all the confusion people even noticed, besides, I love having my own knight in shinning armor." Tohma threw his arms around his lover's neck.

"Oh gwad… please don't taint my young eyes!" Tatsuha rolled his eyes.

"And I live with them!" Shuichi rolled his as well, "Anyway, I didn't see Yuki at the end of the show," The singer stated absently.

"I heard he had to rush off," Tohma smirked

"You're so evil nii-sama… I like it!" Tatsuha smirked as well.

"Anyway, let's go celebrate. We have yet to paint the town red for being number two in the nation!" Hiro suggested quickly before the conversation went in the wrong direction.

"Yeah!" Ryuichi was the first to leap in agreement.

"No Karaoke!" Everyone—except Tatsuha—yelled at once, making the older singer pout.

"I'll pass, I'm actually kind of tired." Suguru began, not wanting to see anymore of the two newly lover's PDA's.

"There's no passing, "Hiro grabbed the already leaving teen and stopped him from walking any further.

"About a rain check then, I'm with Su-chan, I'm tired as hell." Shuichi suggested not at all in the mood to celebrate either. He had hoped Yuki gave him a few minutes after the show, so they could talk, but of course things never worked well for him.

"You don't want to see me mad right?" The longhaired man turned to his best friend who in turn turned white.

"You're scaring me Hiro-kun!" Ryuichi held on to Tatsuha tighter, and the teen gave Hiro the thumbs up from behind his lover's back.

"We'll just have dinner," Tohma said dutifully, "We all have a busy day tomorrow, and Tatsuha has school."

"Party pooper!" The monk coughed.

"Ok so it's settled, let's go to my favorite restaurant!" Ryuichi walked determined to the door.

"Doesn't that place have a karaoke bar?" Shuichi asked.

"Eh, eh,eh." The older singer laughed mischievously as he ran out.

XXX

Mika Seguchi stared at the TV confused. Tohma had preformed live with Bad Luck and was now waiving and smiling to the cameras. She'd seldom if ever saw him smile like that, even when she thought they were happy. It pained her to see this side of him that she could not bring out. Had he found such happiness away from her? Then that Nakano bastard had come to stand so close to her husband, that was impossible not to see that the two were involved.

Mikka turned off the TV set and handed her friend a cup of tea. She'd come to see how her friend was doing and tell her about the wedding date, but Eiri has beat her to it. She'd been shocked to say the least when she heard it from his own lips; happy was an understated feeling, as she saw him smile like that.

"So you're getting married in a few weeks huh?" The older Uesugi said ignoring the tea. She looked awful. A mere shadow of the incredibly beautiful and proud woman the younger singer knew.

"I meant to tell you, but, you know, it seemed inappropriate at the time." Mikka began lowly. "And we only just decided."

"What's the rush? I thought you said you wanted the biggest wedding in Japan." Mika let out not sounding very thrilled.

"There's no rush. He told me to set a date and I did."

"As quickly as possible before he changes his mind… ne?" Mika turned to her friend.

"Why do you say such things? I came to see you because I'm worried, and you have nothing to say but sarcastic malice!" As sorry as Mikka felt for her friend, she was not about to let her ruin her happiness by planting doubt.

'You are so naïve and stupid its almost funny Mikka." Mika said lowly, neither mockery nor resentment, only a statement that was too obvious.

"Wait a minute! Just because you're going through a difficult time, I will not tolerate…" Mika stood cutting her off. The younger woman didn't know what to do. It had clearly been a mistake to come, but still, she was even more worried now than before, and had a very bad feeling of what was about to happen.

Mika came back and threw a manila envelope on the coffee table in front of them. Mikka looked at it, then up to her friend's face. The older woman looked truly haunted, the black circles that rimmed her eyes, her messy long hair, she almost looked like a zombie.

"Go on, open it." Seguchi Mika encouraged flatly. The singer looked at it as if scared. Somehow she knew that whatever was inside was best left alone, but her curiosity proved to be stronger. She grabbed it and tore it open quickly before she chickened out. Once she spread its contents over the coffee table, she had covered her mouth as she saw an image staring right at her. Eiri… _her_ Eiri kissing someone, the shot focused on his face so she could not make out the other person., but she could tell that it was a man's profile.

Mikka heard a low anguished growl in the distance; she grabbed the picture and held it so tight that her fingers went through it.

"That man with him is Tohma," Mikka shot her eyes to the woman still standing above her, and the low growl became a deafening noise, which she realized was coming from herself. She threw the picture and grabbed another, and another, and another.

"No, no, no, no Eiri… no!" Her tears clouded her vision, but still, the images mercilessly reached her brain and etched themselves in it.

"I knew about it all along, even before I married Tohma." Mika began tonelessly.

"YOU'RE LYING!" Mikka roared and began tearing the pictures into tiny bits, as if the act could somehow erase the horrid facts.

"You can deny it to yourself all you want, but the fact remains."

"Shut up!" The singer stood and pushed the older woman to the floor, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Mikka screamed over and over until her throat was raw.

"I don't want you to suffer the same as I am," Mika whispered from where she had fallen,

"They are no longer lovers… but there are others."

"Don't say it!" Mikka covered her ears and shook her head violently.

"Mikka, please. I'm telling you this for your own good. If you don't believe me, go here and see for yourself." The woman stood and put a small card and a key on Mikka's hand. The younger woman looked at them as if they were venomous.

"I only want to save you from pain." Mika trailed, and Mikka ran out without another word.

XXX

Yuki sat alone at a bar drinking steadily, playing what he saw of the performance over and over in his head, remembering the singers spitefully.

"What the fuck do I care?" He admonished himself swallowing another gulp of hard liquor, but he did care, he did and it was killing him. The more time went by, the more it pained him. His phone went off a couple of times but he ignored it.

"Fuck! I'm tired… I should get home." He stood unsteadily and threw a wad of bills on the counter he went out into the cool October air. He contemplated going to take his frustrations on Mikka's willing body, but decided against it, not even she deserved such vindictive treatment. He 'd much rather go home and take his anger out on paper, he felt fueled. Hell! Maybe he'd be able to do a whole book before hitting the sack. As angry as he was, he needed to vent, and his pencil and paper have never let him down.

He got into his car and set out to his studio. A thousand scenarios played in his mind… yes; let them come, let them anger him to the point of blindness, as it was his best tool of inspiration.

"_Thank you Shindou Shuichi… at least you're still good for something."_

XXX

"Mikka stood in front of a white, two story building. Her heart wrenched in knots as she recognized the place from some of the shots that were now etched in her mind and heart.

She came to the door and inserted the card Mika gave her in its proper slot by the door. The door buzzed open, and she let herself in, looking around to make sure no one saw her. Why was she stalking like a thief eluded her, she didn't even know what she was doing here. Only the need to find out once and for all what the man she thought she knew was really all about, propelled her forward. Looking around, she headed to the elevator and went to the second floor. As the elevator door opened, a lavish lobby, full of paintings and drawings that could be done by no other than her fiancé met her. She'd love to examine them, but moved on before anyone saw her. She had no idea if other people lived here and did not want to take any chances.

Hesitantly, Mikka inserted the key in its proper keyhole and let herself into the apartment. She didn't know what she'd find, deep down she hoped to find Eiri there, alone, drinking beer or drawing, and happy to see her. But on the other hand she wanted to confront him with what Mika showed her.

The pop diva gulped, and taking a deep breath she pushed the light switch. A very simple, and stylishly decorated 'normal' apartment confronted her. There were paintings adorning the walls just like outside, the place was actually very neat. She ventured in and went from room to room, taking some time to appreciate the private world of the man she loved. All in all the whole of the place was very normal, it almost made her feel bad to have intruded like this.

She came into one room however, which was very messy, unlike the rest of the place. There were drawing tables and easels, very likely the place where Eiri did most of his work. Magazines and manga were scattered around, the smell of coffee and tobacco mingles together with Eiri's very distinctive scent. Mikka felt a rush of desire course though her… _What is it about you that I can't resist?_ She asked herself.

Coming to the first of the drawing tables, she felt relief as no other, upon seeing some unfinished panels for Kenshin. The next one had some of the characters of Weiss posing with their weapons—probably for an art book. The singer felt as if she'd been swimming under water and had just come out for air. Why did she doubt him? What did she expect to find? The singer stopped at the third table and shock beyond words hit her, she brought a hand to cover her mouth upon spying the very graphic drawings of what it seemed to be Eiri himself and an angel with black wings. She took a closer look, the angel looked almost eerie in its beauty, the wings covered most of the page, and Eiri… he looked drowned in ecstasy. Then the angel's face took a life of its own, she'd seen that face, seen it a thousand times, on TV, in magazines_… Shindou Shuichi_

Mikka backed out and took one of the magazines scattered on the floor. An article about Bad Luck, she dropped as if it burned, then another and another. Every single magazine was opened on some article pertaining Bad Luck—or more accurately, its lead singer.

Again that growl distracted her thoughts. In her rush to get away as fast as she could from this hell, she bumped onto a table, she had not seen before and dropped something, she bent to pick it up, and dropped it back down upon seeing the smiling faces of Tohma and Eiri. The two were younger, and smiling so happily. Eiri's arm was laced around the shorter man's waist, and they looked truly happy.

"No…" That growl came again, she ran out of there and into another room—a bedroom, the moon almost illuminated the whole of the ample space, again his scent was overpowering.

"Is this where you spend most of your nights?" She'd known about this place all along. He never offered to bring her here, and she never asked. Now she found herself wondering what went on in this place, how many had shared that bed in the center of this very room.

She laid on it, letting his scent bathe her. That growl was becoming a defining noise; the pain in her heart was threatening to choke her. Finally, the tears came. She tried to hold them, to block out the pain, to divert her mind; she focused her eyes on the wall ahead, concentrating on an enormous paining on the wall… Anything to tell her mind that these things were not happening, then the growl became and anguished cry as her eyes fell on the black wings spread so wide that might be alive.

"No, no, no" She wailed agitated, looking for the light switch. As the room came alive with light Mikka Costa fell to her knees when she realized who that was and exactly where that image came from. She could almost see Eiri's glassy eyes, as she remembered the first time they watched that video.

"Bastard…" Mikka trailed, "Bastard!" She screamed at the wall. Looking around for something, anything that might aid her destroy it, but she stopped in her tracks at the sound of an opening and closing door. Instinctively, she spotted a closet and hid in it closing the door tight and praying not to be found.

Steps grew closer, and she held her breath for all it was worth. What he hell had she been thinking in coming here to get in trouble right before her wedding? And why was she still thinking about that in the mist of this horrible discovery?

"I left the lights on here too… weird" Eiri's crisp voice was so close; she could see his shadow just beyond the closed door. She covered her mouth, willing her heavy breathing to stop. Her heart was beating so fast and as loud as a drum. Why did she feel the need to hide was beyond her, but she could not turn back now. Eiri finding out that she was spying on him was not an option. And so, she braced herself for—what she hoped-- was not a very long wait until he fell asleep. Praying he did not have to open the wooden door that divided them.

XXX

"C'mom Shu, sing with me!" Ryuichi encouraged with a pout. Since they got to the restaurant, the pink haired singer had done nothing but drink and sulk. Hiro, Tatsuha, Tohma and even Suguru had tried to cheer him up at one point or another, only to be told—very rudely—by the broken hearted man, to go fuck themselves and leave him alone.

"I don't feel like singing Ryuichi… why don't you go make out with Tatsuha or something ne?" Shuichi tried to sound as sweet as he could. He wanted to be alone, to get himself drunk to the point of numbness and sleep forever, that way he didn't have to hurt so damn much.

"If you sing you'll feel better, I promise" Ryuichi insisted, taking the glass away. Tatsuha stood by watching his lover's charm fail.

"C'mon man, that jerk doesn't deserve the fuss you're making, be a man and let it go!" The monk tried reverse psychology, but by the looks of Shuichi's face, it didn't seem to be working either.

"Tatsu…" Ryuichi uttered.

"I know what you're doing, and it won't work. I'll sulk all I want and none of you have the right to tell me otherwise." Shuichi's slurred angrily, "And you know what? I'm fucking going home!" He stood and fell back down.

"I'll take you home." Hiro—who had kept an eye on his friend the whole while—came to his aid.

"Yeah, let's go. It's late and tomorrow we have a busy day." Tohma stood as well and came to aid his lover.

"I don't want to go with you… you guys make me sick with your puppy love! I hate love, I hate manga, I hate everything!" Shuichi proclaimed loudly, almost unable to form the words.

"Yes, we know you hate it, but I'm not letting you go on your own." Hiro insisted.

"Let's call him a cab." Tohma touched Hiro's arm, and said understandingly. Hiro thought about it for a few seconds, and then sighed defeated.

"We'll share the cab with you Shu!" Ryuichi added encouragingly.

"NO!" Shuichi yelled, making the older man jump, "I hate you and that Uesugi Eiri clone!" Tatsuha put a hand on Ryuichi's shoulder and shook his head.

"It'll be ok, I'll instruct the driver to take him upstairs and into the apartment. We'll be there by then as well." Tohma reassured his old friend who was about to cry. "Just get Tatsuha home safe." Ryuichi nodded and taking one last saddened look at his pink haired friend, left with his younger lover in tow.

XXX

"Take me here…" Shuichi handed the driver his digital planner.

"No can do sir, I was paid to take you to your place and carry you up to your apartment over my shoulder if need be." The driver replied mater of fact.

"Here, I'll pay you double" Shuichi shoved a handful of high bills, the man looked at them, then at the boy with the desperate lavender eyes.

"Is that your girl's place?" The man asked guessing it couldn't be anything else.

"Something like that…" Shuichi trailed.

"Alright, you better kiss and make up," The driver snapped, doing an illegal U-turn,

" You better not let my sacrifice go to waste."

XXX

Mikka could hear Eiri's footsteps around in the room. Gripping her with fear when they came closer, and making her sigh with relief as they went further. After a few minutes of agonizing silence, the lights finally went off and the footsteps grew faint as Eiri went out of the room. The stressed singer waited for what it seemed forever, before working out the courage to leave the safety of her hideaway.

Tiptoeing her way to the front door and out of danger, she saw a glimmer of light coming from the room in which Eiri worked. She'd never been fortunate enough to witness his mastery at work. And as much as she had begged in the beginning, he'd never allowed her to watch.

Bad Luck's music could be heard coming from within the room, Mikka sighed disgusted, _"Hmph… another prefers them over me."_ She mused lowly, peeping through the partially opened door, to spy Eiri, wearing nothing but a lose fitting pajama pants, hunched over one of his drawing tables. The woman noticed with a little sigh, that it was not the table with the graphic sex scenes between her love and the black winged bastard currently singing his hated love tune.

"I hate you Shindou!" Mikka found herself whispering. Eiri's head perked up, making her almost choke from fear of discovery. She held her breath while the blonde mangaka listened for something, then, as if deciding there was nothing amiss, her fiancée went back to work.

If there was a time to walk away, it was definitely now, but the overwhelming curiosity she felt, did not allow her to take a single step to retreat. Eiri's hand moved so fast as he drew, Mikka was enthralled, those days when she begged to watch him came to mind again, Her cruel love had even threaten her to dump her if she didn't stop 'nagging' him. Again, anger at how thoughtless had he been towards her made her feel angry. Suddenly Eiri tore the page, crumbled it and threw it to the far end of the room, missing the garbage can by a mile, he drew some more, and again, he tore the paper angrily and threw it towards her.

"Fucking worthless!" Eiri spat. She looked at the ball at her feet and the desire to pick it up and see what her love considered to be 'worthless' was proving hard to control. The same scenario repeated itself a few more times, before Eiri threw his head back on his chair, scratching his head, playing with his pencil, and doing all sorts of cute things she would not imagine the man doing, before he sighed heavily. Finally, he got up and stretched. Mikka had lost all track of time; she should have gotten away when she had the chance, but as always, her stupidity won out. She looked around for another place to hide.

"Fuck! I can't even get any work done." Eiri grouched, and went to his stereo, turning it off, "Guess your voice doesn't inspire me anymore…" He mumbled, picking up a slim CD case and staring at its cover. He set it back down, and stretched once more. Frantically, Mikka ran back to his bedroom and hid in the same closed she had before.

"_Dammit Mikka, you should have left that time!"_ She scorned herself lowly; covering her mouth at the same time as Eiri's presence came in the room. She heard the shower running in the distance, and even thought this was another god given chance to leave… she steeled herself to wait. For what? She did not know, her mind knew she needed to escape, but her body refused to move.

XXX

Yuki awoke to the loud banging of a door near by. He looked at the alarm clock next to his bed and cursed as he saw how late it was. After what happened at the talk show he was in no mood for visitors. He turned around with all the intention of going back to sleep. Since the release of Angel Sanctuary's promo issue, he had pulled several overnighters to catch up. Mikka's wedding plans were taking a lot of his time and he needed to have at least three issues in the bank before releasing of the actual Number One, but the way things were going, he'd be lucky to get half that.

It was so hard to hate Shuichi and imagine him doing any sort of evil deeds to put onto paper, so lately he had found himself fantasizing a lot about him… a lot. And now that he had that obnoxious pink hair, it would be even harder to make him look evil. The damned kid looked just like Sakuma's pink stuff doll, Yuki could bet his life that the moronic man put Shuichi up to it. The mangaka hoped from the bottom of his hear that it'd been a wig. Maybe creating the story out of anger and jealousy had not been such a great idea after all, but that was irrelevant, the buzz was already out there and he had no choice but to go on with it. Again the loud noise disrupted his thoughts, but this time there was a call with it.

"Yuki… Eiri Yuki!" The mangaka sat up recognizing the voice even in his half sleep state, but not believing his deceitful ears.

"Yuki… calling asshole extraordinaire Eiri Yuki," The voice continued, "What… are you with a hot chic in there or something? Ooh… sorry hot babe, let me warn you, tomorrow morning he'll pretend he doesn't know you and he'll throw you away like a dirty tissue!" Yuki got up and made his way to the front door hastily; growing angrier with every step he took.

"What the fuck does he think he's doing!" He hissed agitated, running a hand through his hair.

"Hello in there! Yuki Eiri… hot babe?" More yelling and pounding came; Yuki reached his goal and opened the door catching the fist of a pink haired Shuichi, as he was getting ready to pound the door once more.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yuki spat, grabbing Shuichi and pulling him inside the apartment, slamming the door shut forcefully.

"Eh, is that the greeting I get?" Shuichi continued sarcastically, coming closer to Yuki's face and running his tongue over the mangaka's lips. The taller man felt a cold current run up and down his spine shuddering at the contact. He closed his eyes and swallowed a moan and hoped the drunken pink haired angel didn't notice. "…And I came all the way here to congratulate you on your engagement." Continued the hot pink haired singer. Yuki could smell the liquor in his breath, mingled with the scent he could still remember from that one night. Yuki needed to get him out of here and fast, before he did something he will surely regret later.

"You're drunk!" Yuki spat not as upset as he would like to be, When he saw Shuichi at the TV studio earlier that night he had thought the beautiful singer looked ridiculous, but now, upon closer inspection, the smaller man looked decisively more erotic than before. Was there any mercy from this beautiful angel whom he desired more than anything, but could not have? Was there a point to this visit other than to torture him? Yuki realized that it would take all of his will power not to savage Shuichi where he stood. He'd made up his mind about it already, but if his resolve was to be tested, he quite frankly did not know how he'd fare.

"No I'm not drunk!" Shuichi slurred, "See? Smell my breath… ahhhh" The singer exhaled on the mangaka's face, again, making him choke a moan. Regaining his composure, Yuki straightened the shorter man, and putting a hand on each shoulder pushed him an arm's length away.

"I'll ask you again. What the hell are you doing here?" Yuki modulated almost menacingly.

I told you, I came to congratulate you on you wedding… what… can't a friend wish another friend the best?" Shuichi came closer again and this time held the mangaka in a tight embrace. Yuki felt suffocated, not from the force of it, but from the mere scent the boy exuded. The blonde man inhaled and exhaled to bring his pulse down.

"Let go of me right now," Yuki said calmly, but inside was imploring the singer to leave before he did something he would not be able to control.

"I don't want to." Shuichi smirked drunkenly. Yuki pushed him forcefully, and the thinner boy's back slammed against the closed door. "Hey! Don't be like that, I came all the way here to congratulate you, the least you can do is treat me to tea or something." Shuichi blurted pushing his way inside the apartment and sitting himself on the couch.

"I'd give you some Alka Seltzer if I had any, you drunken moron." Yuki spat " Now leave before I call the cops!"

X

Mikka had been about to leave when she heard the banging and yelling coming from the front door. She could not hear it very well, but it sounded like a man was calling. She debated whether to come out of the closet and peep through the door like she'd done before, but was afraid that she might not be able to hide in time, there were two sets of eyes to see her now. Still, she was dying to know who it was. Dread took a hold of her as she thought of Shindou Shuichi.

"It can't be him… it can't be" She whispered aloud to calm herself down. She could hear voices, and loud noises, and then she almost jumped out her skin, when she heard braking glass.

"Eiri!" She got to her feet instinctively, but then sat back down when she heard those voices come closer and into the room.

X

"I'm not leaving until I get at least a cup of water." Shuichi announced stubbornly. Yuki looked at him with such hatred, hoping to scare him off –like he did everyone but Tohma—but the boy stared right back at him with the same cold eyes. The mangaka gave up and went into the kitchen, got some water and a couple of Alka Seltzers –god knew he had needed them more than once—then came back and slammed the cup in front of the drunk singer.

"Drink it fast and leave!" The tall exasperated man snapped. Shuichi took the cup and tasted the liquid in little sips.

"You didn't put any ice!" Shuichi whined pointing at the clear liquid.

"Drink it!" Yuki snapped louder, but Shuichi was having none of it.

"Eh… nice place you got here… I didn't remember all these drawings!" Shuichi marveled looking around, "So where are the pictures of your beautiful fiancé?" He turned to the mangaka and asked accusingly. "Of course you can't have pictures of her here… this is where you bring your one night stands isn't it Uesugi Eiri-sama?" The singer spat maliciously.

"That's none of your business. You had your water… now leave!" Yuki commanded coldly. Shuichi got up and walked past the taller man, once at the front door, he turned and threw the glass with all his might really hoping to hurt the blonde demon in front of him.

Yuki barely dodged the glass. Snapping his head to it, he watched it shatter into a thousand little pieces as it hit the wall.

"You fucking bastard!" The mangaka lunged at the younger man, who didn't move to run away, only prepared himself for the worst.

As he made his way to Shuichi a thousand thoughts crossed his mind. _How dare he?_ Was the first, but then he kind of understood the reasoning behind the boy's actions, he couldn't blame him really, he might have done the same had he cared enough. He remembered clearly the way he felt when Tohma announced his marriage to his sister. He had wanted to hurt him too, but he didn't. Instead, he had hardened his shell and bowed not to let anyone else into his heart. That is exactly why he could not; under any circumstance get any closer to this man. Yes, he understood, but he could not forgive him.

Yuki threw Shuichi over his shoulder and walked with him kicking and screaming to his room. He threw the agitated singer on his bed and walked to the window to calm his own emotions.

"What do you want from me!" The mangaka spat suddenly, turning to the young angel on his bed.

"The reason why you're doing this. I know you don't love her, otherwise you wouldn't have been with Seguchi… or me." Shuichi demanded angrily.

"I have no obligation to explain anything to you. All we had was a one-night stand, and all of a sudden you think I'm in love with you or something foolish like that! Go back to Sakuma Ryuichi… I have no time for this bullshit!" Yuki ran a hand through his golden locks; he needed a cigarette, but did not dare to walk by the glaring pink haired man to get them. His smell alone made his groin hurt with need.

"You think you can play with people as you please. Seguchi, Mikka… yes, you are playing with her just like you played with me, and you know it! You think people are nothing more than marionettes that you can pull the strings of, and make them do as you please…" Shuichi lowered his face and tried to muffle his weeps.

"What the fuck do you know?" Yuki spat "Go back to your fun world and leave me the fuck alone. I don't need you, I never did."

"Then what is this?" Shuichi took a book from his pocket and threw it at Yuki forcefully. The mangaka caught it easily and look at the drawing he knew so well.

"You provide some inspiration, looking like a slut like that… so what of it?" Yuki replied dismissively and threw it to the side. Shuichi set his hurt lavender eyes on the face he'd worshiped for so long. "What did you come for?" Yuki whispered taking a step towards him against his better judgment, "You still haven't told me truthfully what is it that you want from me."

"I thought… I thought." Shuichi hung his head not knowing the answer himself. Slowly he raised his head and set his defeated eyes on Yuki's, as if asking for forgiveness. He had no reason to be here, he was nothing but a bitter drunk with a broken heart.

Yuki looked so lost, so helpless, as if he was fighting some inner demon that would not let him be. Shuichi got on his feet and went to him without meaning to.

"Get away from me!" Yuki suddenly spat threatened. Shuichi stopped shocked, but then took another step forward.

"Just tell me, please… tell me that it did mean something… that night… that _I_ meant something." Shuichi was now face to face with the taller man, he could feel his breath on his face, the warmth of his body.

"No… it didn't mean a thing" Yuki murmured, closing his eyes not to see the boy run away from him disgusted, but that never happened. A blow to his face came instead. A sharp stabbing pain, and a flash in his eye, that made Yuki lose his balance and fall back.

He opened his eyes in shock, amazed at the pain he felt, and set them on Shuichi, who stood there, heaving, fist still outstretched. The rage on his face made him look ominous, like a page right out of his manga.

"Fuck you! I wish I'd never met you; I wish I'd never lay eyes on you and fall in love with you like this! No, scratch that! I whish I would have met you before and realize what an asshole you are so that I never would have never fallen in love with you in the first place!" Yuki's eyes went wide, and the rage that took over him was beyond words. He lunged himself at Shuichi, grabbing him, and throwing him over his shoulder once more.

"Let me go you fucking bastard!" The singer pounded Yuki's back with all his might, to no avail. Yuki seemed unaffected by the forceful blows, as he moved forward to the front door. The singer sank his teeth on the tender skin of the taller man's shoulder, but other than a pained grunt, the man seemed unaffected. He got to the door, opened it and threw Shuichi out into the hallway.

Shuichi's back hit the wall behind, but that didn't stop him from lunging forward fast, and clocking another good punch to Yuki's stomach. The mangaka doubled over in pain, but only for a second, fixing his enraged eyes on the singer.

"You fucking bastard!" The blonde lunged forward and grabbed Shuichi by his clothes and threw him back inside the apartment slamming the door shut behind him. He was angry at how easy he gave in to his petty emotions, but more than… he was aroused by the raw display of violence the young angel was capable of displaying, and that made him angrier. Shuichi fell over the coffee table, then onto the floor, binging everything on it with him. The mangaka wasted no time and grabbed him by the lapel and threw him against the wall.

Shuichi for his part was not about to let Yuki get away with anything… not anymore. He had come to follow Ryuichi's advice, but since that didn't work, at the very least he was going to satisfy his anger. He kicked hard with his knee, barely missing Yuki's manhood.

"Fuck!" The mangaka cried grabbing his side, and just as fast, returning the assault with one of his own… and they fought.

X

Mikka heard the whole exchange between the two men in the room. She had to hold her hand to her mouth and bite her fingers not to cry out. Eiri had not only been with Tohma, but Shindou too. The pain she felt shook her in waves and waves of anguish.

_Why! Didn't I love you enough? Didn't I devote myself enough? Didn't I satisfy you enough?"_ Tears and cries of anguish came, and she didn't care anymore who was there to hear them. In the distance, she could hear things being broken, curses, and the clear noise of fist against flesh. This gave her a little hope, maybe there had been a mistake after all, but after a while, and the clear sound of things coming to an end, she knew.

X

"You must have come here for a reason," Yuki managed to let out as he pinned the smaller framed man against the wall. A small grin that made him look evil played on his face. He was already breathing hard, intoxicated by the musky masculine smell of the shorter man, feeling Shuichi's growing erection against him. And rejoicing in the pain he was feeling from the injuries the young angel inflicted, which stimulated him even more.

Yuki stroked his captive's sex feeling its heat even through his clothes. Shuichi closed his eyes and shuddered, eliciting a small choked moan. "You like that don't you?" Yuki husked against Shuichi's lips, the singer gulped loudly.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" Shuichi shouted with no conviction, he brought a hand up and tried to hit his aggressor on the back, but neither his body nor his will wanted to obey his commands.

Yuki lifted Shuichi off the ground, and the only thing that held him, was the massive weight of the mangaka's chest pushing him against the wall. "I said let go of me!" Shuichi repeated, but there was simply no will behind the threat. Yuki ran his tongue over the singer's pink lips, the same way Shuichi had when he first came.

"Eh… and after you came all the way here to congratulate me on my engagement… how rude of me were I to let you go without a proper thanks?" With one smooth pull, the mangaka ripped Shuichi's shirt off of him and kissed him ferociously, bruising him, intoxicating him.

Shuichi wanted to hold on to the last little bit of pride he had left, but the warmth of Yuki's flesh, and the intoxicating heat of his mouth left him little to fight for. He opened up completely and in an instant, bringing his legs and arms to wrap around the taller being, he responded in full. Shuichi kissed back, demanding everything Eiri Uesugi had to give.

"Give me everything… I want it all…" Yuki rasped against Shuichi's mouth as if reading his very own thoughts.

"Take it…It's always being yours…" Shuichi was barely ably to mutter. Yuki's lips and tongue were all over him at once, Shuichi felt dizzy, as though he were floating. The mangaka's demanding hands were bruising his skin, leaving a trail of heat behind. He could hardly breathe, think, all of his senses occupied with the task of coping with the enormous pleasure he was being submerged in.

"I can't take it…" Shuichi rasped, fighting with Yuki's shirt.

"Oh yes you can…" Yuki breathed, coming to the dizzy singer's mouth and claiming it savagely; he could never get enough of it, Shuichi's taste, Shuichi's scent, Shuichi's… everything.

"I need to…" The beautiful singer begged desperately, shaking his head from side to side, drunk in the pleasure the mangaka was all too happy to give

Yuki needed no other instructions, ravaging the younger man's lips once more; he set him down on his feet and removed his pants as if they were not fit to touch its owner's skin. He took a few seconds to admire Shuichi's magnificent form, and again wondered how could he have let this go?

Shuichi held his head and looked into his eyes. And as always Yuki felt as if he would drown into the lavender orbs, there was such trust in them, such warmth, that he had to turn away to keep from crying. He drop to his knees and took a hold of Shuichi's hips lifting him up, and sitting him on his shoulders facing him, with his back against the wall serving him as support. The singer's eyes opened a little wider in shock, but did not complain nor ask, just trusted him completely.

"Don't worry, I won't let you fall…" Yuki whispered, smirking, feeling the hardness of the boy's sex against his neck. Watching the singer watch him with unmasked devotion, feeling his fingers threading though the blonde locks he hated so much, but was too proud to dye.

"I'm not scared, I just want you to love me." Yuki took the hard shaft into his mouth and devoured it for all it was worth. Shuichi's wild moan fueling him to go faster, deeper; Yuki's hands left the slender hips to massage Shuichi's thighs desperately, clawing at them, wanting to feel his insides if he could. By now the boy's moans filled everything, Yuki dared a look at the young face drowned in ecstasy; sweat dripping down his beautiful face.

"Yuki, Yuki…" His beautiful angel called his name like a mantra, never had the name he disliked so much sounded that good.

Nearly at his limit as well, Yuki let Shuichi's hard member go and lapped at the inside of his thighs, nipped his already abused organ, sucked his hot testicles. Shuichi's cries were like music to his ears, intoxicating him, bringing him to the brink.

"Come for me…I want to drink every last drop of you…" Yuki breathed, and no sooner had he taken him into his mouth again, than Shuichi's hot seed filled his mouth.

The younger man shook uncontrollably with the force of his orgasm, and his face contorted in the most exquisite mask of bliss.

Yuki stood by his word and drank every last bit of molten hot essence. He was so aroused that he could hardy move. Once Shuichi's shuddering resided, Yuki got to his feet, allowing Shuichi to slide off him and onto is own, the boy was so weak from pleasure that he held on to him for support. Yuki smirked thinking of the things he was going to put his angel through.

X

Shuichi could not think straight. That mind blowing orgasm literally took all of strength. Yuki set him on his feet, but he was not able to support himself, he held on to the blond god for dear life, looking at him apologetically, thinking on how lame he was for not even being able to please the love of his life properly. He wanted to give him as much pleasure as he was receiving, but he hadn't the strength or the experience to.

"What's that look for?" Yuki asked, still smirking.

"I…" Shu could not form words. Yuki kissed the bridge of his nose, and put his arms aground his waist, turning him to face him, as he leaned his back against the wall. Shu froze, was he expecting him to do the same he had? There was no way he could support all of the mangaka's weight on his shoulders, he could try, but he knew that Yuki would be in for a disappointment.

"Don't look so scared, I don't bite… much." Yuki whispered, and again, the blonde god took a hold of him, bringing Shu's legs to wrap around his waist to straddle him, Shuichi could feel his huge, hard sex against him. Instinctively putting his arms around the mangaka's neck, the singer kissed him hard.

"What do you think comes next?" Yuki rasped, already blind with need.

And before Shuichi could even react, Yuki took his ass and plunged himself into him, blinding him with pleasure and pain. "It won't be long," Yuki murmured into his ear, kissing him, nipping him, as he began lifting his hips up and down against himself… _god could he be any better?_ just when he though the tall picture of perfection could not outdo himself, he go and pull a stun like this. Shuichi's initial tearing pain quickly turned into more pleasure than he could take, he climaxed again, spilling his seed all over them. Feeling it so much intensely than his previous orgasm, he couldn't handle much more of this, but at the same time, he wanted to live in this dream forever.

"How I wanted this… needed it" Yuki whispered as if to himself, licking his own lips. Shuichi kissed him and lapped a bit of semen that had carelessly landed on his god's face. The mangaka searched for his lips and ravaged them; ramming his hips into him urgently.

Shuichi felt him stiffen, saw him throw his head back, roll his eyes to the back of his head, and display-- what Shuichi thought must be the most beautiful expression he's ever seen. And then heard the most erotic sex cry.

X

Yuki's legs went limp, and he could not longer hold the weight of his angel. He fell, bringing Shuichi down with him, crushing him. His orgasm had not even receded, but he had to have him again, and again.

"I love you…" The one under him whispered, and again that blind passion took hold of him. He stood, and took the pink haired object of his desires into his arms, and literally ran into his room. He threw Shuichi on his bed – much as he'd done earlier— then caressed the side of his face softly, delicately, as if he were the most delicate silk.

"Two to one… not fare." The mangaka smiled, truly smiled. Shuichi's eyes warmed and caressed him as well.

"What are you going to do about it?" The young angel asked mischievously.

"I'm going to make sweet, sweet love to you." And he let himself into heaven once more, and this time, he would make it last.

XXX 

They finally stopped, after that last earth-shattering groan from the man who should belong to her and that bastard's, everything went still. Mikka wiped down her tears, but they would not stop flowing. _How can it be? How could Eiri be with her for so long and never… ever, been that satisfied? _She had not dared look, but for what she'd heard from their love making, left her with little doubt that Eiri had used her, that she had not been nearly enough for him_… but why, what reason could there possibly be?_ She tried to get up but her limbs were not responding. She felt dirty, disgusted and confined. She needed to get away from here, to put her thoughts in order, to give her sanity, the time and space it needed to return to her.

She made her way to the bed, caring very little at this point if they were sleep or awake, her heart ached and her eyes throb, but she needed to see him, to see with her own eyes.

"Why?" Mikka asked silently setting her eyes on the man below, watching as he slept in such peaceful manner, holding the smaller man the way he's never held her.

" How are you going to redeem yourself?" She asked, her tears falling anew. She went out of the stuffy room that smelt like cheap sex and went out into a room she didn't recognize. Things were scattered all over, and the telltale of their fight screamed at her. Their clothes lay on the floor, where they probably made love. She made her way out, into the cold street, and looked up to his window one last time.

"Sleep tight, be happy and satisfied for this little while, because tomorrow, you'll be miserable as I am now." She was not sure of what she would do, right now she wanted to kill them both, but that would be letting him off too easy. With one last look at the window and one last memory of the happy expression on Eiri's face, she walked away into the night.

XXX 

A/N: OMG was that long or what? I hope I lived up to your expectations as far as Y&S's reunion is concerned. I could have broken this up into several chapters, release them one by one, and be done with it for a while, but since you guys were getting so restless about Yuki and Shu I just had to do it this way so that's why it took so long. Since I promised a reader that I would reunite them in the next chap… sorry if it went longer that some of you would have preferred. On another note, I read the whole fic from Media miner last week and besides noticing a lot of grammar mistakes, I noticed that my chapter kept getting longer and longer. I was reading three and four the first couple of days, and then went down to two. Still I prefer longer chaps, especially if I'm going to take so damn long to update.

Next Stop: **Blood**. Oh yes there will be a blood shed when those Mika's get a hold of their men eh eh eh. Mikka and Eiri will meet; Mika has a little proposition for Hiro, and much, much more Stay tuned to find out.

There are only two more chapters left (at the most) I might feel cruel and end it within the next chapter (although if I did that it would be EXTRA long) So in preparations for that I have another little poll for you all (the last one)

For future reference, how do you like your sex? (not yours you hentai! The fic's) Is it ok to just imply it or you guys want a full-page detailed description? (The data collected from this question will be used to determine Y&S level of hotness) I always have such a hard time writing sex scenes between them. Its like Yuki is so hot in my mind that nothing I write seems to capture it well enough… oh well, just gotta keep trying ne?


	28. Blood Part I

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga within this story.

For mature readers only!

Another ridiculously long chapter (Bad Bloo, bad!), I just can't seem to be able to cut my chaps at a cliffhanger, suspense ridden point, that will make you guys pull your hair out until the next one. Instead, I'm giving you clues to what comes next at every turn… I tell you! You better appreciate it peoples… ye'er!

Now, this has been by far the most difficult chapter I've written to date. There are actually two versions of it. On the first, I made Yuki look like some kind of lost little whiny girl, and the sex scenes were bad—they still are kind of blah—(but I told you guys I have a hard time writing Yuki&Shuichi sex) However thanks to Ashcat and her very insightful advice, I was able to make it a tiny bit better. There are a **_lot_ **of changes in this version, I even knixed a couple of parts and added others (I hope I made you proud Ash-sama TT)

Well, I guess I'll let you guys decide which version you like best. Whoever wants the other version, email me and I'll send it with the quickness.

Anyways… Enjoy.

Chapter Twenty- Five: Blood (Part I) 

The rain pounded her body mercilessly. She didn't know where she was or how long she'd been wandering the streets. All she could hear were Eiri's moans and his voice calling another's name.

"Why?" Her tears mingled with the raindrops pounding her face. The answer was so simple, so obvious, and the worst part of it was that she had known all along. She had felt it deep in her heart but had ignored it. Eiri didn't love her, never had. He only held on to her out of fear of being alone, out of cowardice. He had allowed her to fall in love with him so deeply that she could not possibly see herself with another, all the while knowing that he would never return that love. He had deliberately played with her trust and devotion, aware that she would never mean a thing to him. His selfishness knew no boundaries, his cruelty so natural to him that it was like a second skin. And he… that punk! Came along so casually, to claim in mere months what she could not achieve in years.

"I saw it, I saw it all!" She whined to the sky, she'd seen it from the start. How Eiri looked at the bastard, how he softened his eyes ever so slightly every time he heard his name! She'd seen it all. Even Mika tried to warn her, but she refused to acknowledge it. And now there was no hope, it was too late to save the man she loved from the claws of that devil.

"I won't let you," She looked up to the sky, "I won't let you go on and be happy with him while I'm miserable and alone… we'll be miserable together." Mikka Costa vowed to the rain, to the stars… to anything and anyone who could hear her. "I'll live to make you miserable." And with her new determination, she headed home to wait for her man.

XXX

Yuki awoke to find himself tangled in a mess of limbs and warm skin. He felt as he hadn't in years, relaxed and refreshed. Turning to the one next to him, he indulged for a few minutes longer on the warmth that seemed to emanate from his every pore.

Carefully, the confused mangaka peeled himself away from the pink haired man-- who was practically on top of him—and watched as he sighed contently and snored away softly. A small smile eased on Yuki's features, as he remembered the night before. He'd been so turned on by Shuichi's raw actions that he had let go of his guard and allowed his petty desire take over... regretfully so_. How am I going to get out of this one?_ Yuki asked himself disconcertedly.

The mangaka went to his closet and pulled his favorite pair of jeans. For a moment he thought he could smell Mikka, but then again, that was impossible.

"Must be guilt" He chuckled sarcastically, annoyed at the fact that he had even thought of her. Putting on his pants, he walked out of the room quickly, keeping his eyes away from the bed, lest he'd go back and relish on that fragrant skin against his better judgment. He made his way to the kitchen and began his daily routine as if nothing. He smoked a cigarette, made himself some coffee, and went to his sanctuary to begin his days' work.

Once in front of his drawings, he stared at them for a long time, as if deciding what to draw next, he looked at each panel again and again, but was not seeing them at all. Instead, all he could see was that pink haired moron on his bed, smiling in his sleep and making all kinds of cute sounds.

"Fuck… I can't do this." Yuki admonished frustratingly, mussing his own hair. It had taken so much effort to finally resign himself to marry Mikka and forget Shuichi had ever been a part of his thoughts… to have it come down to this. One night was all it took to break him apart.

"Since when am I so weak?" He ran his hands through his hair one last time, and hanged his head thinking on what to do. He couldn't possibly go back to Mikka and have Shuichi as a side lover. Neither of them deserved it, he had almost killed himself when Tohma married his sister. And for that, he swore never to put anyone in that position, he knew Shuichi wouldn't be able to stand it… and neither would he.

"What the hell am I going to do?" Yuki sighed confused. It would have been so much easier had he been a man last night and kicked the beautiful singer out the door. "I don't even know what is it that I feel for you." He spoke directly to the drawing in front of him. But that too was a lie, he did know what he felt, and it scared him. He stood and went back into the kitchen, got another mug and filled it with steaming coffee; it was no use pretending that things weren't messed up, and prolonging this any longer. He'd take the cowardly way out, and let Shuichi decide. After hearing how things stood, if the singer was smart enough, he'd would be the one to end it.

XXX

Shuichi awoke to the hearty aroma of fresh coffee. The night before was a little fuzzy and he could not remember for the life of him how he'd gotten home. He vaguely remembered getting drunk with the guys, and declining their offers to bring him back home.

The sunrays bathed almost his entire room. It felt warm and comforting. Shuichi inhaled deeply, and the hearty smell of coffee mingled with other nice smells --he could not place-- made him feel so at ease. The young singer smiled mischievously as he remembered the awesome dream he'd had.

"Damn, I should get drunk more often!" He laughed to himself, stretching his achy muscles, and turning to the side, away from the sunlight bothering his eyes " Damn! I must have really danced the night away, I don't remember being in this much pain since my prom." He whined at the same time as his eyes opened wide in shock, even before realization hit him, he found himself staring at his own image plastered on the wall. Black wings spread wide, red sky bathing his half naked body… He sat up and looked around in fear.

"Yuki's room!" He exclaimed gravely, more out of shock than fear itself. There were things scattered around on the floor, there was even some broken glass.

Slowly, things began coming back. He remembered getting so upset and heartbroken when he heard Yuki's marriage announcement. He had gone out with the guys, and gotten drunk out of his mind, he remembered coming to confront the blonde tyrant, and… Fear gripped him as he suddenly remembered everything.

"I hit Yuki!" Shuichi whispered fearfully, focusing his eyes on the tiny pieces of glass shimmering on the floor.

"Yeah… and you bit me too, you bastard." Yuki's deep monotone intruded his thoughts. Shuichi turned sharply and set his eyes on the figure of the tall mangaka leaning on the doorframe, holding two mugs of steaming coffee. Wearing nothing but a worn out and torn pair of jeans. A hot shiver run up his legs and ended at his loin with a delicious pain that wanted to be fulfilled-- in spite of his fear— he ran his eyes over the lean figure of the man who was turning his life upside down, and could see the half moon mark his own teeth had imprinted on Yuki's shoulder, and a hideous black eye that hurt just to look at. Shuichi felt vile come up his mouth… _I hurt Yuki_!

"I…I'm" Shuichi couldn't even form words to describe how sorry he was. Yuki walked calmly towards the bed, and set the mugs on the table next to it. He stood ominous looking down at the defenseless younger man with an unreadable expression, Shuichi gulped loudly, but then the mangaka did the unthinkable! He leaned and kissed the pink haired singer's lips, running his tongue slowly over them, tasting… teasing.

Shuichi's lavender eyes melted at the contact, and without asking how or why, he draped his arms around the blonde god's neck, and returned the kiss in full.

"Don't tell me you forgot what happened last night Shindou Shuichi?" Yuki asked nonchalantly, breaking the kiss abruptly, as if regretting ever starting it. Shuichi didn't know what to make of it, should he be happy? Should he be prepared to be thrown out of Yuki's apartment like a thief? He was scared, and yet, just to hear his name from the godly lips was enough to send him to heaven. "You almost killed me!" The mangaka reproached sternly. "Look at my eye! How in the hell am I going to show my face at work?" Shuichi gulped preparing himself for the worst. "I should give _you_ a black eye! See how those screaming teenagers that make such a big fuzz about you like it!" Yuki tried to sound threatening, but just wasn't there, that usual spite and carelessness were simply not there.

"Well, I remember the sex well…" Shuichi joked hesitantly, testing the waters, feeling a little tingling in his stomach just to think that Yuki might not be mad. How many times had he fantasized being like this with the man of his dreams?

"Damn! And here I was hoping I had to refresh your memory." The mangaka kissed him again; letting his hands wander over Shuichi's naked skin. Yuki pushed him gently to make him lay down on his back, and caressed up and down his side with gentle fingertips, then his thighs, running his fingertips softly over the tender and most sensitive skin on the inner thighs, skipping the singer's growing need. Shuichi threw his head back, breaking the suffocating kiss, letting the pleasure washing over him numb him.

Yuki watched Shuichi's face, relishing in his blissful expression. He had wanted to regain some semblance of control over the situation, to show the younger man just who was boss, to go on with his false pretence of unrequited love and lay down the law. But just one look at those lavender eyes made him forget all his resolve, and surrender to his desires… _again_. The fact was— as much as he hated to admit it— he was utterly obsessed with this young, pink haired, obnoxious and breathtaking man.

The mangaka uttered a soft moan of his own, feeling the sweet pull to his loin as his need grew by the second. He nipped and lapped his way down the young singer's body slowly, making Shuichi shiver violently as the sensations took over his unaccustomed body. And the more reaction Yuki got, the more his need to see that angelic face contorted in ecstasy grew. It all got to be too much too soon, the mangaka's descent stopped, and did nothing but willing his pulse to come down for a full minute. He wanted to enjoy the pained expression the younger man was rewarding him with, without the overwhelming need to fuck him 'till he died. He wanted to make this as it if were their first, and most likely their last time.

Shuichi felt Yuki pull away, felt the cold air in the places where Yuki's mouth had been. He looked at the blonde god, and watched him breathe in and out, as if he'd been running and was trying to regain his breath. His expression was of course unreadable, but Shuichi didn't care, he was not afraid anymore, he somehow knew that Yuki was fighting some sort of inner demons, just as he had the night before. Shuichi vowed to somehow, make Yuki see that he didn't have to fight alone, that he was, and will always be there for him.

The singer brought his hand to touch the blonde mane, to run his fingers through it, but was halted by Yuki's hard gaze as he came out of his dream. However, that gaze changed from cold to animalistic in a matter of seconds; the man of his dreams smirked and ran his tongue over his upper lips slowly. Shuichi gulped loudly, never had he seen anything such an erotic expression in his entire life, but that expression too, was gone as fast as it'd come, and was replaced by his usual expressionless mask. Yuki's tongue ran the length of his hard shaft torturously slow. Shu let out a loud throaty moan, and thrust his hips forward in anticipation.

"If you want it … ask for it," The mangaka husked, barely able to contain himself. Shuichi mouthed something that sounded like 'suck me' and that was all the blonde man needed. He ran his tongue in slow seductive circles over Shuichi's hardened nipples, never taking his eyes off his feverish face, feeling the trembling of the smaller man and savoring every second of it. The singer's moans got so loud that it was becoming almost impossible for Yuki to remain composed.

Shuichi pushed the blonde head towards his erection with both hands almost desperately.

"I can't take it… I want you inside." He begged breathlessly. Yuki let out a small moan and closed his eyes to calm his increasing passion. Just the sound of the angel's voice was enough to send him over the edge.

"You want me to suck you, or fuck you… which one is it? Yuki rasped, stroking Shuichi savagely, and watching the singer's member get moist with anticipation.

"God… I want it all…" Shuichi begged as if in pain.

What's the rush?" The blonde man managed to rasp with a half smirk, watching Shuichi's gleaming shaft twitch. "I didn't get to spoil you last night." Yuki came down and tasted the glistering essence gathered at the engorged tip, and the younger man's body went into convulsions.

Yuki could barely contain himself, Shuichi's choked moans were so arousing, so animalistic and sensual, his strong, masculine scent so intoxicating. Shuichi grabbed his blonde head none too delicately, and pushed it down again.

"C'mon… suck me… please." Shuichi pleaded, and Yuki could do nothing but comply. He swallowed him whole, devouring him as if his life depended on it. He could not get enough of him of his moans, his skin, his warmth. All these time of denying his desire to possess Shuichi, the frustration of wanting him so much, yet knowing that it should not be, came rolling into this very instant, he didn't care anymore, let it all go to hell, he'd worry about it later, right now…he wanted to get burn... by Shindou Shuichi's fire.

Shuichi's back arched, and his head shook from side to side whispering incoherent words of love. The boy's hands grabbed his head, searching for anything they could hold on to.

"I can't…I have to…" The young singer gasped. Yuki came up and claimed his lip roughly, demanding everything the younger man had to give. "I can't… take it… anymore" Shuichi managed to breathe into Yuki's mouth.

"How many times do I have to tell you, that you can, and you will… take everything I have to give." Yuki rasped breaking the kiss, and returned to his previous task. Shuichi fought the urge of letting everything go and fall into sweet climatic oblivion, but was losing the battle fast.

Yuki's mouth left his member a few seconds later, and the singer almost cried out at the loss of him. Shuichi opened his eyes and fixed them on his blonde god. Their eyes met, and Yuki's honey eyes didn't seem his own; so intense, so raw. Shuichi 'd never seen such an expression.

He watched as Yuki sucked two of his own fingers in the same violent way he had sucked his needy sex. The mangaka then brought those fingers to Shuichi's mouth and encouraged him to follow his lead. He did, and devoured those digits as eagerly as he could, never taking his eyes off the man he loved.

Yuki groaned and pull them out, replacing them with his mouth. Shuichi sucked at his tongue, nipped his lips, lapped at them in the same desperate manner. Yuki parted the younger man's legs, and slowly inserted the wet digits into him. Shuichi let Yuki's mouth go and threw his head back, giving a silent scream of ecstasy. Again Yuki's mouth swallowed him whole and sucked him in perfect rhythm with his probing fingers.

Shuichi reason left him completely. All he could feel was his boiling blood rushing though his veins, and the incredible things Yuki was doing to him. He could feel every hair in his body rise, every pore swell. Without any warning, everything got too overwhelming for his tortured body to take, and with one final long and throaty moan, Shuichi's body spasm and the sweet pleasure took over. Arching his back and clenching Yuki's hair to hold on, from the falling sensation he felt, the singer fell limp on the bed.

Yuki watched the singer writhe in pleasure as he drank every drop of him; it was all he could do not to climax himself. Just the sound of the younger man was enough to make him go mad. With one rough movement the mangaka parted Shuichi's legs as wide as they could go and entered the tight passage once more, closing his eyes and trembling from the intense pleasure that took hold of him. He smirked satisfied at hearing the scream of pain the younger being uttered; this was too good… how could he possibly give it up now?

He threw one of Shuichi's legs over his shoulder, and holding the other as far wide as it could go, he came down to reclaim those intoxicating, swollen lips. Shuichi's knee almost touched his chest, and even though the singer seemed in pain, his shaky arms tightened around his neck as he returned the kiss, their tongues wrestled with one another, their teeth bit the other's lips to the point of drawing blood. Yuki broke it before his last bit of conscience left him, and set his cold eyes on the gleaming lavender ones. They held each other gaze just like that for a while; the singers' hot and shallow breaths against his face fueling him to go on. How could someone who knew nothing about him, trust him so completely? That he didn't know, but he did know, that he could not show this boy how much he could control him with his body alone.

"I'm going to move," The mangaka whispered and pulled out slowly, almost all the way out, already feeling dizzy.

"It hurts," Shuichi grunted, as a stab of pain gripped him. He wondered mildly, how long it would be until he got used to it, but his answer didn't take long. The pain began melting into pleasure, as the steady rhythm of Yuki's hips increased in speed.

Yuki kept his hard eyes on the face below, refusing to miss any of it. He wanted to be able to remember every second, every small change in Shuichi's flushed face, to invoke every moan, every gasp… everything. Gently, the mangaka brought the lighter man to sit on him as he knelt on the bed, never taking his eyes of the beautiful angel's face. Grabbing the singer's slender hips and bringing them up and down slowly, Yuki breathed in an out, fighting the orgasm that was approaching too fast to blow his mind.

"Yuki…" Shuichi's fingertips caressed his face ever so gently with one hand, while his other arm held on to him tight. Yuki took another deep breath to calm himself, to will his overwhelming pleasure to allow him to enjoy this young body more. "I love you…" The singer mouthed barely above a whisper_ how come?_ Yuki thought… _how can you?_ _I've caused you nothing but grief… and yet, here you are caressing me so lovingly, allowing me to become one with you, to touch your most private and precious places._

Yuki threw his head back; he let out a hoarse moan, as white flashes of pleasure washed over him, taking him higher and higher. He fell back on the bed, bringing Shuichi to fall on top of him. Never had he experienced anything like this. To him pleasure had been just pleasure, but this, this was something all together different which he did not understand… and he loved it.

They lay in silence for a long time. Shuichi was still lying on him, his pink head lay on his chest, as if he were hearing his heartbeats, and it didn't bother him like it did with Mikka, and even Tohma sometimes, this time, it felt… nice. He didn't feel like getting up and leave as he'd usually would, but he'd be damned if he ever admit it aloud, especially to this simple minded, beautiful jerk. He tried to sit up, but was stopped by Shuichi's satisfied voice

"Yuki," Shuichi's looked up and met the honey colored eyes.

"Hmm?" Yuki didn't feel like talking; although he knew sooner or later the honeymoon would be over and he'd have the shameful task to tell his pink haired seraph about his plans, and disappoint him once more. He didn't feel like dealing with it just now, if ever. He met the lavender eyes as well and found that just looking into them made him feel warm… _was this what women mean by cuddle?_ _What the hell am I thinking? _Yuki hardened his gaze

"I'm so happy I could cry, but I'm afraid this is all a dream and I'll wake up alone in my bed." Yuki didn't say anything, another long pause, that didn't seem to end. "Why did you run away from me?" The singer finally asked the question he feared most. Yuki didn't reply, and suddenly sat up and ravaged the singer savagely, pushing him off of him, and to lie on his back, he began kissing and nipping his way down Shuichi's abused body again.

The singer could do nothing but to smile like an idiot and brace himself for another mind numbing experience.

… _It's all right, I can wait until you're ready to open up, I can wait forever, for now, just hold me and love me like this and that will be enough…_

XXX

Tohma stood at the door looking as regal as ever. He had an air of tranquility and contentment about him that made her want to cry.

"Come in please," Mika said as casually as she could manage, stepping aside to let the man who used to call this place home in.

"I came to see how you're doing. As awful as I been with you, I want you to know that I care for you deeply and I am very worried," Tohma replied, and although it was a soft and concerned tone, it also sounded fulfilled, a tone she hadn't heard in years—if ever. Was he really so much happier? It almost brought tears to her eyes.

"I know you care, I'm just a bit down. You did just leave me for a man." She tried not to sound contemptuous, but she could not, the resentment towards that gold digging bastard was just too great to hide. Tohma looked at her with those tender eyes of his that could literally read her soul.

"I'm sorry I've made you suffer, I truly despise myself for using you the way I did, and I truly wish things were different, but we both know that our relationship could not go on much longer the way it was." Mika halted a hand not wanting to hear any more. It was all just too painful.

"Do you want some tea? I have to make it myself since I gave the staff the day off." She smiled trying to sound dismissive.

"I'm fine, thank you," Tohma smiled back, "I really need to know that you are doing fine." He added sincerely.

"And if I'm not, are you going to leave him and come back to me?" She let out sarcastically.

"You know I won't, but I don't want us to become enemies, I care for you, for your brothers, and I don't want to sever myself from any of you… especially you."

"You care for my brothers… especially me. Don't make me laugh!" Mika spat.

"Mika please, I told you before that I will make no apology for what I did, and I require no explanation for what you did, I just want a clean slate and start being friends… true friends." Tohma implored. The guilt was eating him away; he never realized how much he cared until now. He needed, in order to be happy with Hiro, to know that both Eiri and Mika didn't hate him. They were the only family he had, and as silly as it may sound, he wanted their blessing.

"For what? So that you can clean your conscience and live a happy go lucky life with that leech who all he wants is your money and influence?" Mika's tone rose.

"Hiro isn't like that!" Tohma lashed back and stood, offended and mad for letting her get the better of him with her low blow.

"Oh please! Think about it Tohma, why else would he be with you?" Mikka grabbed on to this little glimmer of hope to make him see the grave mistake he was making. " I looked into your 'boy-toy' he's never been with a man before… lots of women, but no men. Tell me it's not convenient to realize you're gay when the most powerful man in music business want you?"

"I am not here to discuss my relationship, I came to see you and to talk to you about us, but I see that it's still too soon." The producer turned to leave.

"About us? What us? You already took care of that. But mark my words Seguchi Tohma, if I can't have you, I'm going to ruin you, see how much your Hiro wants you once you're in the street with nothing but the clothes on your back!" Tohma regarded her for a long agonizing moment.

"If that is what it takes to make you happy… you can have it all." The blonde producer smiled sadly and went out the door.

"No… Tohma wait!" Mika screamed and ran after him.

Tohma stood waiting for the elevator, he had wished for things to go smoother, but of course he had hurt her deeply and that was too much to hope for this soon. He heard her run towards him.

"Please Tohma, I didn't mean it, I just… I just love you so much that I can fathom the thought of losing you… please come back to me, things will be different, I'll change, I'll be whatever you want me to be, we can work it out… Tohma please!" She fell on her knees crying. It tore at his soul to see her like this, but he could not let his pity change his mind as it had so many times in the past. He had a whole life ahead of him, one that he wanted to share with Hiro, and no amount of guilt could change that.

He knelt with her and wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. She cried and cried for who knows how long, but it was all right, it was the least he could do.

Mika cried and cried and it felt good, being in his arms like this for the first time in so long, their whole lives together went through her mind making her realize what she already knew… they were not happy, she had created an illusion of happiness that she could no longer sustain.

Finally, she let him go. Tohma stood, kissing her head tenderly like a father would to his daughter.

"I'll come back to see you soon. I'm going to call the staff to come back, and I'll be asking Tatsuha everyday if you're eating properly." And with a last tender smile, he left. The man of her dreams, the only one for her, went away for good.

XXX

Hiro hanged up cursing, he had waited up for Shuichi all night, but his friend never came home. That morning Tohma had called the taxi company offices demanding to have Shuichi's driver call back, he hadn't of course, and here he was worried sick. He'd called everyone, from his parents to Ryuichi and even Sakano. In the state the hyper singer had been in last night he worried that he could have done something crazy.

The door opened and he dashed to it hoping to see a wet and dirty--but all right-- Shuichi walking through it. His winced aloud when he saw Tohma walk in.

"Hey, don't be so happy to see me!" The mogul joked. "I take it Shindou-kun hasn't come home yet."

"Nah, no one knows where he could have gone. How did it go?" Hiro came to his lover and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Better than I expected, although we did not talk about divorce." He conceded.

"I told you it was too soon." Hiro remarked looking at his watch.

"Stop worrying so much, he's a big boy and can take care of himself, besides, you're making me jealous."

"Sorry, I just can't help it… I know him and I know what he's capable of."

"Would it make you feel better if I called the police and report him missing?" Tohma asked not really meaning to do that, the scandal would be one they could not afford right now.

"Of course not! I'll give him some time. I'm sure I'm just drowning in a glass of water."

"That's my man! Now come here and show mw what _you're_ capable of…" Tohma guided him to the couch.

"Hey! I thought you were going to be all down after talking to your wife… you're horrible Seguchi Tohma." Hiro smirked and followed his lover.

"I am down, that's why I need this to feel better."

"You're horrible…" Hiro smirked, undoing the croc designer belt off his love...

XXX

"Oh my God! Look at all this!" Ryuichi ran into the studio yelling, carrying a stack of newspapers. Pictures of them at last night's show plastered the front pages.

"So much for the state of the country news… I can see where the press' priorities are." Suguru rolled his eyes, but took the papers nonetheless and paged through them, feeling a bit uncomfortable being alone with the older man.

" TV and radio are talking about nothing else… oh yeah, and Yuki-sama's wedding too." Ryu stated looking around, "Where's everybody?" The singer asked.

"Hiro just called, he's coming, but Shuichi still hasn't turned up."

"Yeah, Hiro-kun called me this morning, I wonder if Shu went to Yuki-sensei's place" Ryu scratched his head.

"I doubt it, that knuckle head is too proud, I bet he's crying under some bridge. He'll turn up when his stomach growls loud enough" Suguru replied reading an article, smiling at the mention of his superb performance against Tohma.

"I guess you're right. I hope he comes soon and see all the good things people are saying about him. Lookie here!" Ryuichi took a paper from Suguru and paged through it, pointing a certain part to the teen. Suguru read it and had to laugh at the comment.

"_Shindou-kun's new pink locks are sure to be the rage with the younger audience. Is Japan ready for the invasion of the pink heads?" _Suguru read aloud, " How is that good?"

"Oh, its good" Ryuichi nod seriously and gave him the thumbs up.

"So, where's Tatsuha?" Suguru asked offhandedly.

"In school." Ryuichi looked at the younger teen for a full minute, making him feel stuffy. "Sorry Su-chan, but I think I love him more than you, and if I don't now, I will soon." This statement took Suguru by surprise… _did he know?_

"What are you talking about Sakuma-san?" He asked uncertain.

"Please don't hate him. Hate me if you want, but don't stop being his friend, he likes you, he really does."

"And this he told you?" Suguru said bitterly, letting go of his pretence.

"Yes, he said you're the only one who see him for who he is." The teen felt as if a blow had been dealt him. If Tatsuha knew the truth, he would definitely hate him.

"I have no desire to discuss Tatsuha with you Sakuma-san." Suguru put the papers down and left the room before the singer could see the truth behind his guilty eyes.

Ryuichi looked after him feeling bad. He couldn't feel guilty hard as he tried. He'd won Tatsuha's heart fair and square, and even if it was indecent being with the beautiful, underage monk. He was in far too deep to give him up.

"Sorry Su-chan…" Ryuichi whispered, "Sorry…"

XXX

Gasping and panting from hours of feverish lovemaking, the new lovers lay in bed exhausted. Yuki's eyes were closed and his face had such serene and satisfied expression, that it was hard to believe he could look as mean as he usually did-- It was as if he'd finally let off his guard -- Shuichi leaned on his elbow and watched him closely. Drinking in every detail of his lover's face, committing to memory every strand of golden hair as it lay messily on the white pillow.

"What made you change your mind?" The singer mutter lowly the question he did not dare ask aloud to the man --he thought-- sleeping below. He sighed and threw himself on his back, finally ready to surrender to sleep himself… god knew his body could not take any more abuse.

"I'm tired of running away." The mangaka whispered after a long while, surprising the pink haired singer, "I've run for so long… and for what? To make myself and those around me miserable." Shu leaned on his elbow again, and met the partly opened golden eyes.

"Running away from what?" Shuichi asked lowly, kissing the bridge of Yuki's nose. Yuki closed his eyes again and sighed.

"From myself," He whispered after a few moments. It was the very first time he admitted it to another living soul.

"We all run sometimes," Shuichi added, tracing Yuki's perfect nose with his fingertip. Another long lapse of silence passed. "The important thing is to know why we run and be able to stop and face our fears. Why do you run Yuki?" Shuichi waited.

"Because I'm a coward. Rather than to face my fears, I run, and I hurt people, and when I don't know how to deal with things, I run again. After a while it becomes so natural that I do it without realizing."

"You don't have to run anymore," Shuichi whispered back, trailing kisses over Yuki's eyelids.

"And who's going to stop me?" Yuki asked arching a brow; his eyes took his usual cold look, as if he'd just realized he'd said too much.

"The one who gave you that black eye!" Shu smiled and pointed at his handy work. Yuki brought a hand to it and winced painfully, omitting the fact that he had forgotten all bout it.

"About that? You do know I have to go to work and face the world looking ridiculous like this?" The mangaka stated "… It's gonna cost you," The mangaka's eyes grew dark. Shuichi gulped genuinely afraid.

"Cost me what?" He asked scared. Yuki swooped him up, and threw him over his shoulder as if he weighted nothing, and ran so fast that Shuichi didn't realized what was happening until they were in another room, and he was thrown on a couch.

"Open your legs as wide as they can go… or else!" The mangaka commanded, he tried to sound menacing, but was failing to cause the desired impact. He remembered all the times he masturbated on that very couch, picturing the very being on it now. He'd never thought his fantasies would come true, but now that Shuichi was here, he'd play them all out… _before you run away from me_.

"Like this?" Shuichi did as told, and ran a hand through his hair, setting his eyes on the blonde man seductively.

"Yeah… just like that," Yuki gulped, and promptly sat at his drawing table and began working quickly. He didn't have to look at Shuichi to draw him, he knew every inch of his body by heart; and even though he had trouble with his expressions in the past, these past few hours showed him everything he needed to know.

"What are you doing?" Shuichi lifted his head trying to look over.

"Who said you could move? This is punishment… punishment!" The mangaka snapped reprochingly, pointing a stern pencil at his model.

"Are you drawing me like this?" Shuichi exclaimed sitting up, crossing his legs and covering himself. He'd been so turned on by the new location and the prospect of a new game that he hadn't noticed this was Yuki's studio. The place where all his masterful creations probably took place.

The singer stood quickly and walked to his pervert lover to see what he was drawing. But on the way he saw an EVA-00 model, a stack actual manga pages, and easels with drawings and painting in different stages of development. And before he knew it, Shuichi was like a bee fluttering over everything in the room, like a kid at a candy store drooling and not knowing where to start.

"Oh my god! This page was never published!" The singer exclaimed in utter joy, admiring a page of Kakashi-sensei fighting Itachi. Yuki's arms came from behind, and wrapped around his waist, lifting him and throwing over his shoulder. Shuichi laughed and begun hitting Yuki's back in weak protest, but the mangaka didn't even flinch.

The singer was helplessly carried back to the couch and thrown roughly on it. Taking both his wrists with one hand, and holding them above his head, the tall mangaka descended on him, and kissed him as roughly as he'd thrown him, waking his dormant sex. Yuki's citrine eyes deepened, as his expert tongue wrestled with his own, waking parts in himself, he didn't know could be awakened. The wicked blonde god broke the kiss as abruptly as he'd started it, and spread his legs far apart with a sure hand, and smirking as he began stroking him slowly—exactly the same way Shu had done but moments earlier.

Shuichi's breathing became heavy, the heat in his groin rose in intensity with every slow stroke. Yuki could bring him almost to the edge with such little effort that made him feel ashamed at how wanton he looked. Yuki's cold eyes never left his, his lips were so close, they almost touch, and every time Shu tried to kiss them, Yuki moved them away. Shuichi could feel his heart beating in his head as loud as a drum. The tantalizing pain he so loved right before orgasm was sneaking up to get him. He was so close to release, he could taste it. Closing his eyes, and arching his back, the singer waited for it with welcoming eagerness. Yuki let his wrists go, and stopped stroking him right at the sweetest moment. Shuichi moaned his complaint loudly.

"Don't stop…" The singer shocked, but the mangaka didn't seem to hear… or care. Instead, he took one of Shu's hands and set it on his wild pink mane, and went back to his table.

"Pu-nish-ment!" Yuki emphasized each syllable, his expressionless face, gave him an air of command. Shuichi pouted, but was enjoying this very much. Seeing Yuki go through so much trouble to look uncaring and uninterested made him look even cuter. Shuichi had not been too sure about what Yuki felt this morning, but as the hours passed, he came to realize that Yuki was a very bad actor. Everything the blonde god did, told him that he cared. From stopping their sex rut to feed him, to getting lube so he wouldn't hurt so bad, to closing the blinds when the sun bothered his eyes. And all with that robotic expression he loved so much.

"But… but… Kakashi-sensei was…" Shuichi pointed at the manga, pretending he didn't mind that the bastard had left him hard and horny.

"Shh!" The mangaka warned.

"He was…"

"Shh!" Yuki turned to his drawing and continued.

"Do you realize we're naked, " Shuichi remarked casually, still sporting a painful erection that screamed to be taken care of.

"Yeah… so?" Yuki shrugged not looking up as he drew.

"You're such a pervert!" Shu husked, and with his free hand he began stroking himself slowly, the way Yuki had, the vindictive artist lifted his head briefly to look at his model, and then lifted it again when he saw the erotic scene. Shuichi brought the hand on his head to his mouth, and slowly begun sucking two of his fingers.

Yuki gasped loudly, letting off his guard, as he found himself watching one of his very fantasies play itself right before his eyes.

"I won't fall for that." He stated less than assured, "Who do you think I am?"

"I don't think you're anything..,. Ooh, god this feels so good!" Shuichi husked stoking faster. "Yes… yes!" Yuki bit his lips, trying to keep himself from running and ravage the boy. "Ooh, Yuki…come quick, I can't stand it… I'm going to…" Shuichi stroked faster, taking his moist fingers out of his mouth, and bringing them to his entrance. Yuki's eyes opened with anticipation, giving the younger man the fuel to go on. He deepened his lavender eyes on the glassy golden ones and inserted his digits deep within himself.

He arched his back as the tingling pleasure took hold of him. He stroked himself and caressed his insides in sync; picturing the time Yuki did it to him. The singer moaned loudly as his orgasm drew near.

Yuki fixed his eyes on the erotic scene, unable to move, his shaft painfully hard and screaming to be deep within the heat of Shuichi's body, controlling himself a minute ago had been hell, but how could he say no to such an urgent invitation?

Shuichi felt a rush of air, and smiled knowing what came next. His hand was roughly taken out of his body and was held over his head. Shuichi opened his eyes at the same time as the pleasurable invasion on his body threatened to tear him in two.

"Ow, ow… I swear you're bigger every time we do it!" Shuichi was barely able to rasp as Yuki's mouth engulfed his in a passionate, hungry kiss.

"Your fault for being so damn sexy!" Yuki moved slowly at first, playfully, but it was soon clear that neither of them was in the mood for foreplay. Shuichi moved his hips in a circular motion, and was soon riding an intense orgasm upon hearing Yuki's animalistic roar. The mangaka fell limp on him heaving and panting.

"You said I'm sexy…" Shu chanted, smiling like a schoolgirl.

"I never said such thing!" Yuki snapped, looking the other way.

"Yes you did…"

"Whatever!" Yuki tried to get up, but Shuichi's held him tight, keeping him from it.

"You're a loud lover," Shu laughed, more in love than ever, "having this much fun has got to be illegal." He kissed the gold head.

"Then take me to jail and throw away the key!" Yuki looked up and stated seriously. Shuichi laughed so loud, they both fell off the couch…

XXX

Shuichi woke up on Yuki's bed; it was already dark outside. "Damn… how long did I sleep?" He got up wobbly and made his way out of the room. Yuki's studio light was on, Shu popped his head just a bit to surprise his love, but seeing him so diligent at whatever he was doing, he decided to give him some space. God knew his ass needed it

"What are you drawing?" He mused to himself, adoring the way Yuki looked with his glasses on, although he would definitely look better without the black eye. Just to know he had been the one to inflict it made him proud_… and horny_.

After taking a much needed and relaxing shower, Shuichi made his way to the kitchen to look for something he could cook for his love. Not that he knew how to, but he would try to be a useful and loving wife. Mikka Costa came immediately to mind. He was so curious to know what made Yuki announce a marriage like that, but he didn't dare to ask. He was afraid that if he did, the dream would end and he'd have to go back to his empty life.

"What's all this noise?" He heard Yuki's grouch approach, and all thought of Mikka and the wedding vanished, right now Yuki was with him and that's all it mattered.

"I got hungry, you have nothing to eat! How do you expect me to have the energy for all you put me through if I don't eat? Feed me!" Shuichi crossed his arms and grouched as well. Yuki just stood by the doorway, looking as irate as always.

"You're hungry?" Yuki asked assertively, "I'll feed you something." he grabbed Shuichi by the arm and pulled him to the sofa. Shuichi allowed himself to be pulled, knowing exactly what was on his lover's mind—it didn't take a scientist to figure him out. Yuki threw himself on the couch and opened his zipper making the slender singer kneel between his legs.

"There… eat." Yuki pushed Shuichi's head toward his semi hard shaft.

"If I knew you were this perverted…" Shu began, flicking his tongue over the tip.

"You would have come to me sooner." Yuki quipped cockily. Shuichi bared his teeth threateningly. The mangaka didn't seem to get the joke, and got up quickly, picking up the phone on his way to the kitchen, and dialing a number.

"Wait, I was joking… I'll …eat you." The last part was said with a small blush on his face. Yuki however, didn't seem to be interested as he spoke on the phone. He came back a minute later with two cans of beer, he handed one to a still standing Shuichi and opened the other one for himself.

"I usually don't share my beer, but I've got nothing else at the moment." He drank a big gulp, "I ordered take out, if you don't like the food I got, tough." He went back to his studio and sat at one of his tables. Shuichi followed, and sat close by, watching the master at work. How many times had he wished he could do this? God! He could spend the rest of his life in this room, going through all the treasures it contained.

"Are you mad… I was only joking." Shuichi began hesitantly, he still could not read Yuki's moods that well, but he was confident, he'd get used to them soon.

"About what?" The mangaka asked without looking up, he wasn't drawing anything at the moment; just having Shuichi in the room distracted him.

"Y'know…" Yuki looked up.

"I was the one joking, you're so uptight. It's not like I expect you to give me sex every waking moment." Yuki went back to his easel.

"Look who's talking about uptightness!" Shu stood and pointed an accusing finger; he looked around not finding anything witty to say, then sat down and continued to watch his love's profile. "Besides, that's not what I was talking about."

"No?" Yuki put down his pencil, and took off his glasses, setting his eyes on the younger man.

"I was talking about Tatsuha… and Ryu" Yuki's stare hardened and without warning he got up and left the room. "Yuki, wait! Listen to me please!" Shuichi caught up to him in the living room, he took his arm to stop him.

"I didn't ask you anything, you needn't explain yourself." Somehow the words didn't match the heated expression. Shuichi could tell that he had touched a sensitive subject, but one they needed to address if they were to be together.

"But I have to tell you, we can't leave it like this! You think I cheated on you with your brother and I didn't!" Shuichi broke down in tears; just the thought that Yuki might reject him again was too much to bear. " When we met in Hokkaido I was so mad, I wanted to hurt you, I wanted to make you feel the way I did, so I pretended to be close to Ryuichi, but I'm not, I' never was, Ryuichi and Tatsuha are together and they were going through a rough time, so Ryu and I used each other to make you both jealous! I've never thought to be with anyone but you!" Shuichi cried. Yuki seemed to be perplexed by this. He looked at the younger man, his inner struggle very apparent behind his confused eyes.

"I…" Yuki began. The door buzzer went off, and Yuki rushed to answer it, he came a few moments later carrying bags of food. "Don't choke yourself," He said tonelessly, as he set the bags on the table, "Come! I thought you were hungry."

"Yuki…" Shuichi whispered, the mangaka came to him and kissed the top of him head in one of those few displays of tenderness.

"I believe you." The mangaka whispered and went to eat.

… _Are you ever going to trust me? Are you ever going to let me in? _Shuichi sat next to him and ate in silence. They were together and it was all right for now, but for how long? There was so much they needed to talk about, so much he needed to know one another, so much he feared to know about the dark being in front of him_… I'll wait; I'll wait for as long as it takes…_

XXX

"Anything yet?" Suguru asked concerned, it had been two days already and nothing. Shuichi was still at large. Even Tohma was worried now; he was seriously contemplating calling the authorities. Only to be talked out of it by Sakano-san and Hiro himself. The guitarist was very worried, but they didn't need the crowds going wild on top of it.

"No," Hiro replied. They still showed up at the studio, not to alarm anyone, but it was clear to the crew that something was wrong.

"Shouldn't we search for him?" Suguru added.

"I've been to all our hang outs… every day. I've told his parents to call if anything. I even called his sister in Boston to see if that crazy bastard turned up at her doorstep." Hiro looked at his phone again… no messages. "Let's just hope he can take care of himself, and that the press don't find him before we do."

"I know we have to think about the scandal this might bring about, but this time I venture to say that maybe we should notify someone." Suguru continues concerned.

"It's not that, I know Shu, if people start making a big fuss, he'll never come back. Let's give him a little while longer."

"It hit him that hard huh?" Suguru asserted

"I guess…" Hiro shook his head, and they continued pretending they were working.

X

Hiro got home from the studio; still there had been no word from Shuichi. Two full days of his pain in the ass, broken hearted, best friend being at large didn't seem so much, but he knew Shuichi better than that. His hyper friend had been so affected by Eiri-san's announcement that he escaped without caring about anyone else. The made Hiro angry, Shuichi was not the only one with problems, but and as much as it annoyed him, his worry outweighed his anger.

Going straight to the room he shared with Tohma he took a shower, made himself some coffee and got ready to read a book-- resigned to the fact that his hard working lover had the whole day booked and would not be home for hours— He needed to clear his mind, things had been so hectic, not only with work, but with his personal life as well. Past experiences had taught him, that if things were too good to be truth, they usually were. Things with Tohma were doing great… too great. He knew he loved his angel more than anything and that it would be very difficult to live without him, but that was just it, he was not the only one who loved the gentle, charismatic man. There was his wife, who seems to be very much in love, and there was Eiri-san as well. Truth be told, he could not believe the mangaka would just give him up like that… unless of course, he was truly in love with Shuichi like Tohma seems to be sure of.

"I have stop thinking this much… I'm going to get gray hair." Hiro mused to himself, running a hand though his locks. He settled in his favorite chair with his cup of java and a medical book, when a knock on the door interrupted him.

"Shuichi!" was the first thing that came to his mind. Most likely his absent-minded friend had lost his key somewhere. Hiro ran to the door, ready to pound him, then lecture him, and finally hug him for worrying him so much, but that plan was short lived as he set his eyes on the one behind his door.

Mika Seguchi stood tall and beautiful as ever. Before Hiro could even react, the proud woman pushed her way into the apartment, walking around and looking at everything, as if approving, or disapproving.

"Nice digs Tohma put you up in Hiroshi-kun." She said nonchalantly.

"Seguchi-san." Hiro was at a loss. "I… Tohma-san isn't here." He replied not knowing what to make of this unexpected visit.

"Aw, c'mon, we're better acquainted than that. Besides, I came to see _you_ my dear boy." The woman quipped amicably, throwing Hiro off. "So, where does Tohma sleeps, I assume he's staying in your room."

"Um…well…" Hiro began confused, and whishing that Tohma was here. He had absolutely nothing against this woman of course; if anything, he felt extremely ashamed for what they were doing to her, but by all means he preferred not to deal with her unnecessarily, if at all. As cowardly as it may sound, to him, it seemed better that way.

"Eh, don't be shy… show me!" That last part was said in such a commanding manner, that Hiro found himself walking towards his room. He opened the door and stood aside for the wife of the man he slept with, to go into his punkish decorated room. Rather than looking cool now, it embarrassed the hell out of him.

As soon as Mika came in the room, the smell of her Tohma hit her like a bullet train. So overpowering, the musky perfume that was definitely his trademark, mingled with another masculine scent almost made her gag; to think about what went on, on that bed. She looked around the tacky and smallish room and could not comprehend why would Tohma… her elegant and refined husband, lower himself to stay at a place smaller than his closet. She turned to the man, who regarded her as if she was an alien. Just to see his dummy expression made her want to punch him. Yes, he was good-looking, but hardly worthy.

"I'll tell it to you like it is. This is not the first time Tohma…stray. However, this is the first time he has actually moved in with a lover, but believe me, you are not the first, and you won't be the last…it doesn't mean anything." Hiro was taken aback; he didn't know how to reply to her. Of course, what Tohma did with his life before was none of his business, but hearing this now, got him wondering. "You're thinking that I'm lying aren't you?" Mika Seguchi asked, although amicably, there was something malevolent about her.

"Of course not, it just surprised me somewhat." Hiro replied.

"Why are you surprised, did he tell you you're the one and only?" Hiro could sense the underlying sarcasm in her question.

"No, Tohma did tell me Eiri-san was his lover for many years, but I haven't heard about any other… nor did I ask. It's none of my business, and I frankly don't care." To this she seemed surprised,

"As long as he throws money at you, who cares right?"

"Of course not, I can earn my own…" Hiro wanted her to leave so badly, just being in the same room with her suffocated him.

"Cut the crap Hiroshi!" Seguchi Mika cut him off, "Don't come tell me it's true love or some sort of sappy story, because I frankly don't have time for it. I came to make you an offer. Since Tohma will leave you sooner or later for another pretty boy. How about you save me the time and grief of waiting for that day to come and tell me how much you want to leave Tohma." This was worse than a kick in the gut; that this woman though she could come and bribe him into leaving Tohma was more than he was prepared to stomach, but then again, what did he expect her reaction would be? Hiro felt the overwhelming desire to push her out. Deeply offended, Hiro walked towards the front door—followed by Mika-- opened it and waited for her.

"I thank you for coming, but if this is what you wanted to tell me about. I'd appreciate if you leave." He said nonchalantly and waited for her to get out. She didn't.

"He _will_ leave you, I'm merely saving you grief… with a little bonus."

"I do not know how rich people operate, but I know how I operate, and before I say something I will regret, I beg you to leave." Hiro insisted solemnly.

"How much?" She asked, "Five million, ten million… name your price Hiroshi, every one's got one." She stood regal, regarding him coldly. Hiro wished he could push her out and slam the door on her face.

"Please Seguchi-san, there is no price."

"Well then, you realize that Tohma has been my one and only love, and without him, there is no reason for me to live." The manner in which she said it, the tone of her voice, made Hiro's blood run cold… _she couldn't be saying_… "Do you think Tohma will be able to look at your face and not be tormented by it, knowing that I killed myself because of you?"

"You wouldn't do such a thing!" Hiro exclaimed scared, but deep down he had no doubt that she would.

"You don't know me honey. For me, a woman who married the man who was having an affair with her own brother, killing myself for losing him _is_ the only thing to do." Hiro stood there defeated. He knew from the bottom of his heart this woman was telling the truth. And if Tohma could live with it, he certainly could not. He loved Tohma, loved him too much, but he knew that he wasn't good enough, that he didn't deserve him. Maybe this woman didn't deserved him either, but she had been there through it all, and if she was willing to go so far for the man she loved… then there was no place for him after all.

Mika Seguchi walked past him, "Believe me, is for the best… you'll thank me later," And with that she left as abruptly as she'd come.

XXX

A/N Well my pretties, this is the first of two parts. I actually finished the chapter's first draft a couple of weeks ago, but I've changed it so much since then, that I dare to say is a totally different chapter. I'm still working on proofing and editing, but I'm done up to this part, so I figure I post this since its been so long… My how time flies!

I will keep working on the rest (Part II) and I should be able to post it before the week's end (I don't want to promise I specific day, but trust me)

Now, I will not email the original version of the completed chapter to anyone until I post Part II (no cheaters allowed!)

I also wanted to thank all you all for your wonderful comments for the last chapter. They really boosted my confidence and that's why I'm going through all this trouble to bring you the best chapter yet! I consider myself so lucky to have such great readers bows

See you soon!


	29. Blood Part II

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga mentioned within this story.

For mature readers only.I would like to give a shout out to** Iname** for her very fast proof reading and insightful advice on this this chapter

Well it took me a little longer than I promised (looks around in shame), but with good reason, I practically re-wrote the whole thing so in essence this chapter is a lot (and I mean a lot) longer than what it was originally supposed to be… a chapter in itself! I think that's a good thing, ne? I won't babble too much, so… Enjoy.

Also: writer's block it's a bitch!!!

Blood: Part II

After dinner, Yuki went back to his studio 'to work,' and Shuichi was left to ponder about the whole situation. Now that he'd cooled down and the initial lightheadedness went away, he could definitely see things more in depth. As happy as he had been, he could not help but feel a bit apprehensive. Things had gone well for him in the past, only to end up backfiring in the end. He'd thought he could wait for Yuki to open up, but as the days went by, his uneasiness grew. What happened just now was proof that Yuki resented him for something he didn't do. And even if the blonde grouch said he was ok with it and didn't care, Shuichi knew that some day—most likely soon—Yuki would mind, and maybe even leave him again. Shu was not prepared for that, he had waited so long, and now, he could not see himself without him. True, he didn't know anything about the man he proclaimed to love more than life itself, but he so wanted to! And Yuki's lack of interest to talk about anything other than trivial things was driving the pink haired singer mad!

Shuichi decided to give it another try-- and for the sake of his sanity-- he hoped Yuki was up to it. Slowly, he got up from where he sat on the floor, and went in search of his lover without any clear plan of what he would say, or how he would approach the subject. In the end, Shu knew he would do what he always did… follow his heart.

The blonde mangaka sat hunched by one of his tables, he seemed to be working very diligently, but as soon as Shuichi came in—even though he'd been careful not to make any noise—the blonde head snapped towards him.

"Hey…" Shuichi came in and sat on the couch casually. Yuki just watched him, but otherwise didn't react in any way. "I thought we could… y'know, talk and stuff." Shu began; he didn't realize how nervous he was until those gold eyes deepened into his.

"About?" Yuki asked, sounding a bit annoyed. After the little spat before dinner, the elusive man had remained silent. It was killing Shuichi, he wanted to understand his feelings, he wanted a lot more than Yuki's body, and he needed to make him see that.

"About us." The singer blurted, "About our expectations from each other, about where we're going from here--I know you at least care for me a little, so you can't brush me off like you did before… I won't let you." Shuichi looked straight into the golden eyes of his lover, it was very difficult to-- given the way his love looked-- but he would not back down… not this time.

Yuki kept his cold eyes on the younger man, and then, without a word got up and left the room. Shuichi went after him quickly. "Are you running away again?!"

The mangaka turned sharply, his eyes had that malicious look to them. Shuichi stopped hesitant, then continued, he was determined to get an answer from Yuki, even if it made him upset. "I think its time for you to leave." Yuki turned and modulated coldly, intimidating .

"I won't, not until you tell me what's on your mind." Shuichi countered.

"You got what you came for, didn't you? Now leave me the fuck alone before I decide never to see you again." Yuki turned and kept walking towards the bedroom.

"You think it's all about sex? How shallow are you Yuki? I could care less about sex! Is it so hard to open up, to tell me what's on your mind? I want us to be together, but I don't want to be in the dark!"

Yuki went straight to the window and lit a cigarette. _Why things always had to get complicated_? He'd thought Shuichi clingy and simple minded, but it turned out that the kid was a little more than he was ready to deal with… and yet, he wanted him. _Hmph… I don't want to be in the dark, you say… I am darkness, there's nothing inside me but shadows._

"Yuki…" The singer whispered taking a step toward him; the mangaka could see the same determined eyes-- as the night he had come drunk and angry **--**. It reassured him somehow, but it also made him see that things will not be as easy this time; he won't be able to intimidate his way out of this long overdue chat.

"It's true I somewhat like you, but that doesn't mean jack. If you want to be with me like you say, that's fine, but it has to be on my terms." Yuki replied, irritated.

Shuichi felt disconcerted, he could not blame Yuki for expecting so much. The blonde had actually never given him any indication that things would be like fairy tale from now on, but still, Shu had wished that he could melt that thick ice around Yuki's heart… _guess I'm not as good as I thought_. Shuichi stood in place staring at the imposing figure of Uesugi Eiri, then sighed defeated.

"You're right; I think it _is_ time for me to go." The pink haired man walked to the chair in the corner, and took his clothes. He had like wearing Yuki's oversized jeans and play lovers for these past few days, but it was clear now that the dream had to come to an end, and he was to go back to reality now. He went to the bathroom to change, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to leave right now," Yuki's voice was toneless, but warm at the same time, "Stay until morning." Shuichi could see something in his eyes, it wasn't warmth, or love, but he could definitely see emotion in them.

"I don't want to be a bother; I think I overstayed my welcome." The singer said as nonchalantly as he could, but he sounded pathetic, like a whiny high school girl, who's just been dumped.

"Listen…" Yuki ran a hand through his hair frustratingly. "I'm not saying that we'll never talk, I'm just… there a lot of things I have to deal with first." His face was altogether softer now. Shuichi was not one to doubt, or question, but he didn't want to be taken for granted by him once again; he cared about this grouchy, stubborn and mysterious man way too much to just go with the flow. He wanted a real relationship, and by god he'll get one even if he had to kidnap him, take him to a mad scientist and have him brainwashed! Shuichi turned and hugged Yuki so tight, he thought he heard his bones crack; Yuki put his hands on his Shu's slender shoulders and pushed him away gently.

"Let's not get carried away now, do you want to kill me?" The mangaka grouched and walked out of the room. Shuichi again felt apprehensive-- but only for a second—the mangaka popped his head back in.

"I'm going to get a beer, when I come back, those pants better be off." The singer had to laugh at Yuki's matter of fact face in spite of himself… _I'm so simple minded, it's not even funny._ He thought taking the garment off…

They went to sleep shortly after Yuki had his beer. As it turned out, there was no sex;, only two bodies keeping each other warm in the cold night. Shuichi's last thoughts, before he finally drifted into slumber, were filled with Yuki, and the road ahead of them.

XXX

The next morning, Yuki walked into his office building, and was surprised to find the lobby area empty. He'd called Onizuka earlier to let him know he was coming in. It had been three days since he and Shuichi shacked up at his apartment. And during that time, he'd accomplished nothing; He didn't get any work done; didn't talk to Shuichi about their 'situation'-- Which he now regretted more than he could admit-- And no one but himself was to blame. There had been plenty of opportunities, even Shuichi had tried in more than one occasion to bring up the subject, to the point of almost leaving the night before, but he—like the stubborn moron that he was-- chose not to. Instead, he'd just spent all that time screwing, like a teenager in heat. Although, after their little 'talk' the night before, he felt less sure than ever about his feelings for the brat, he knew they ran deep, but just how deep? Yuki didn't have the strength to contemplate that yet.

He could have just let him go and be done, but no, he had to stop him… _am I that attached to you… or is it something else? _He asked himself. The whole confused him and scared him at the same time.

The mangaka shook his head to clear it, what's done is done, and he'll have to deal with it later. Right now, it was time to return to the real world and face the music. His over stressed manager and his assistant had left him about a thousand messages, which he didn't even bother to listen. He knew what they wanted, and he didn't have to give to them. Mikka surprisingly had not called, which he didn't know what to make of. As clingy as she was, this was very rare indeed. Still, not even this gave him the will to call and check on her… _what would I say? _

Shuichi's phone had not done much better, he'd gotten calls from all over Japan and even from America it seemed.

The mangaka released a stressed sigh. "Damn, I'm going to have to postpone Angel Sanctuary!" he cursed himself for not having work on it, he'd really wanted to, but every time he tried, there came pink hair-kun to derail him—not that he had minded it at the time.

"I have to stop this!" Just thinking about Shuichi was enough to make him want to go back home. These pasts few days had been the happiest he could remember— although, he'll be damned to ever tell a soul-- and even if the hyper singer had acted like a clingy girlfriend towards the end, he still wanted to be with him, feel his warmth, and hear his voice. It was not only the sex, but everything combined.

The memory of a recent conversation tugged warmly at his heart.

_XXX Flashback XXX_

"_Ne Yuki… now that we're in love and all, how are you planning to fight against me in Angel Sanctuary?"_

_Yuki fixed his eyes on the figure straddling him "Who said I'm in love with you?"_

"_You know what I mean," Shuichi gave him that infectious smile of his._

"_Oh. I'll still fight you. I'm a cranky, cranky man, and I can find something to get angry about really fast." Yuki replied, bringing Shuichi's hips up and down on himself, rolling his eyes back from the unbearably pleasurable sensation._

"_Well, I was thinking. How about, instead of fighting me, we somehow joined forces and helped each other unwillingly, you know like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z."_

"_Are you serious?!" Yuki couldn't hide his shock; he let the slender hips go, and fixed his gaze on Shuichi's face. One look at the younger man's eyes told him that he was indeed serious. "That's too played out. I want to do something different, like killing the hero and let evil prevail… it makes great grounds for a sequel." Yuki joked—but of course it didn't sound like it._

"_People don't want to see that! Take it from a manga reader." Shuichi insisted passionately… sex forgotten. _

"_Are you telling me how to do my job… boy?" Yuki took Shuichi off him, and sat him beside him on the floor._

"_Yeah I am, and also, no body wants Kenshin to end. You're crazy! It's your best since Neon Genesis."_

_Yuki opened his mouth shocked, not believing his ears. "Well, smart ass! If you know so much about manga, write a plot line, and I'll prove to you that I can come up with something better."_

"_And if you can't?"_

"_Then I'll illustrate your plot down to the last fly on the wall, and I'll even give you full writing credits for it. Of course that will never happen because I'm that good" The mangaka smirked._

"_YES!!" Shuichi jumped up, "You better not take it back you hear!" And again, they did what they did best..._

_XXX End of Flashback XXX _

Yuki fought a hard on as he remembered what came after. The elevator doors opened, and again he was shocked to find the usually buzzing illustration department completely empty. The shocked blonde went from cubicle to cubicle looking for someone; anyone to tell him what the hell was going on. After a few minutes and the very obvious realization that the place was in fact empty, he wound up in Onizuka's office—a place he'd never been to before-- To find the manager frantically looking for something.

"Onizuka! Where the hell is everybody?" The mangaka asked a little more concerned that he cared to show; with all his projects behind, having everyone taking the day off was a no go.

"Eiri-san, you're here! I thought you'd be in later on, so I called for our weekly meeting early. I wanted to have it before you came in, so that I could give you a substantial report." The man said noticing a relaxed air he'd never seen in his boss… _probably his engagement_. The older man thought, pushing up his glasses.

"I see, well since I'm here, I might as well take part… let's go!" Yuki went out and towards the conference room.

"Of course!" Onizuka snapped dutifully, and ran after his boss, passing him, and walking fast in front of him. Yuki noticed the unusual act, but said nothing.

Once in the conference room, the tall blonde could see everyone scrambling to hide something, then returning quickly to their places; they bowed and waited for the imposing slave driver to begin the meeting. Yuki looked around his staff, and for the first time felt actually embarrassed that he didn't have anything to talk about. He looked around the staff's expectant faces.

"I'm late with Angel Sanctuary, I'm contemplating delaying it's release until next year… but we'll see," He began with no preamble, then turned to Onizuka, "Go on with your meeting, I'll just listen in." And the imperious mangaka sat at his usual place at the head of the table, and crossed his arms waiting for the manager to begin.

"After your wedding Yuki-sama?" Makoto asked bowing, since the show, they had talked about nothing else. Onizuka gave the penciler a stern look that told the young artist he'd just got himself a yelling, but the younger man didn't seem to mind, getting the scoop on his boss/idol activities was more important.

Being reminded of his foolish actions was not exactly the best way to start the day, Yuki knew he had to deal with that before anything else, but again, his cowardice made him run to his safe place, instead of going straight to Mikka and talk things out. He shifted his eyes to the staff and was not amazed to see them waiting expectantly for his answer.

"We'll see…" He let out coldly and turned to Onizuka, urging him with his cold gaze to start the meeting.

X

Everyone noticed a difference in their boss. Although he wore the same commanding expression, there was something definitely different, he seemed more mellow… relaxed even. Onizuka noticed, the older employees noticed, and that's why Makoto dared to ask the question in everybody's mind. There had been bets, ever since the 'Beauty and the Best' got engaged years before-- and they were eight to two-- they would never wed.

Onizuka gave Makoto another look, and began with the sales rankings

Yuki was very surprised they ranked so high, given the fact that he'd been neglecting his work so much in these past months, and there had been a noticeable fall in the quality of his work. It made him realize how reliable his staff was. But before long, his interest in the meeting was forgotten, and his thoughts drifted back to Shuichi, and Mikka and the stupid commitment he announced on national TV. For the sake of his own sanity, he had to resolve the situation-- the sooner the better-- _if only I wasn't such a coward._

"Yuki-san!" Onizuka's voice startled him. Yuki looked at him, and then at the others, they seemed to be waiting for him to reply to a question he didn't hear. "What do you think?" The manager repeated.

"Yeah, great." Yuki let out impassively, he could not let them know his heart was not here at the moment. Everyone regarded him strangely_… just what the hell did I agree to?_

"Yuki-sensei!" Makoto took the awkward moment to give their boss the thing they had scrambled to hide in a hurry. The penciler stood, looked around at everyone gathered, receiving nods from all around, he went to a cabinet from which he took a big box, and set it in front of the mangaka, then turning to Onizuka, the young man bowed, and waited for the manager to say his line.

"The staff, and myself wanted to congratulate you on your engagement Eiri-san. We took the liberty to have this made for you." The manager nudged the box a bit towards the blonde man.

Yuki looked at it as if it were hazardous, not knowing what to think. It certainly was a shock that they even thought of doing something like this for him. He'd run this company with nothing short of an iron fist, often times preferring his staff to hate him and fear him.

Yuki looked at it for a full minute before turning to the manager.

"Thank you," He said, then turned to the others, "Thank you all as well." He kept his eyes cold; behind the sunglasses he wore. His face blank, not to give them any ideas, he was indeed deeply touched, but he could not let them know that… why? He had no idea.

A knock on the door broke the awkward moment, and Yuki couldn't be more thankful for it. "Eiri-san, you have a visitor." Ryouske, his assist came in to inform him.

"Who is it?" Yuki hoped that it was Shuichi, but he knew the little perv was most likely very busy at work.

"Seguchi-san." His assistant replied, "Should I tell him to come at another time?"

"No, I'll see him." Yuki got up and went to his office promptly followed by Ryouske; the present was left forgotten in the exact spot it was placed. The staff looked at one another disappointed.

"I told you he'd get mad!" Shingo, one of the inkers yelled at Makoto —whose idea of the gift had been in the first place—as soon as the mangaka was out of the room

"Why are you blaming me, you forked up money too!" Yuki Eiri's 'self proclaimed' number one fan yelled back.

"Both of you quiet! Eiri-san is not mad… he's confused." Onizuka smiled knowingly. Behind the impassive mask the man he had worked for years wore; he always saw the real man underneath. "He'll come for it when he's ready."

XXX

Shuichi came into the studio early, expecting it to be buzzing with life. Yuki had kicked him out of the apartment early, telling him to get a life and get to work. The cheeky singer smirked mischievously remembering the night before, the cuddling had been so much better than all the sex they'd had… _am I acting like a chick or what?_

"Shuichi, you fucking bastard! Where the hell have you been?" Hiro came running and hugged him so tight that the singer thought his bones would snap. "I called you about a thousand times… do you even check your messages? I was so worried; I thought something happened to you… you were so drunk that night …" The long haired man yelled in a rush of almost unintelligible words.

The young singer could do nothing but smile at the motherly countenance of his best friend. In truth, not once had he thought about them in the three days he stayed with Yuki. He felt guilty now… but not sorry. "Say something man!" Hiro shook him violently.

"Ne, Hiro… ask me if something nice happened to me while I was gone."

"What!?" Hiro yelled disbelievingly, did his friend hit himself on the head or something?

"Ask me if something nice happened to me while I was gone." Shuichi repeated, actually believing Hiro didn't hear.

"What's wrong with you man!? I was so worried… we all were!" The guitarist was starting to get angry; he swore he wouldn't, at least not until he heard his pink haired, air headed friend's excuse, but Shuichi's reaction was making him lose it fast.

"Ask me!" Shuichi insisted with that same stupid expression. Hiro rolled his eyes knowing that if he didn't play along, they wouldn't get anywhere.

"Did something nice happen to you while you were gone?" Again the longhaired man rolled his eyes.

"It's a secret." Shuichi chanted making a heart with his fingers, and turning a lovely shade of red. Hiro's eyes went wide, then a smirk played on his face when he finally realized.

"Did you and Eiri-san made up?" Hiro's eyes opened wide.

"Bing-bong!" Shu feigned to be flying.

"Holy shit… man, I'm so glad! Damn, we were so worried about you, we had no idea where you were, and even Tohma was starting to get scared. He was going to report you missing and all. Aren't we dumb? We never thought to check in with Eiri-san." Hiro exclaimed happily, he smiled at his friend and hugged him—at least someone had had it good. Since Seguchi Mika paid him a visit, Hiro had not been able to sleep. He'd decided to wait until things calmed, before talking to Tohma, he didn't know what he'd say, but he could not risk being responsible for whatever that woman would do. The longhaired man pushed those thoughts aside and smiled at his friend again, determined to share this happy moment with him.

"You doubt my abilities to get back with my man?" Shu eyed Hiro cockily, putting his hands on his hips and raising his chest high.

"Let's not even go there!" Hiro crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "So you guys straightened everything out?"

Shuichi's expression changed to worry, "Not exactly, but we made great progress!" He cheered up again, giving his long time friend the thumbs up, "Anyways, where's everyone?"

"Tohma went to see Eiri-san; Suguru is off, since we didn't know when you'd turn up, Tohma cancelled all our gigs for the week, Ryuichi is shacked up with your brother-in-law, Noriko-san is taking care of her husband, and I'm here talking to your ugly face." Hiro replied matter of fact.

"Well, you sure know what's going on around you… so why is Seguchi going to see Yuki?" Shuichi asked a bit scared.

"You jealous?" Hiro smirked.

"Are you?"

"No,"

"Me neither, why should I be? It's not like Yuki even wants your man back… so, what does Seguchi wants?" Shuichi asked again, trying to play it cool.

"I don't know, Tohma didn't say." Hiro replied offhandedly.

"And you didn't ask!?" Shuichi grabbed Hiro by the shoulders.

"Why should I?" Hiro smirked amused at his friend's fearful expression.

"Just to know, I mean, isn't he your lover?"

"Yes, my lover… not my son, he doesn't need to tell me everything he does." Hiro stated shaking himself out of Shu's grasp.

"I'm calling Yuki!" Shuichi exclaimed pulling out his phone.

"If you want to call someone, call Suguru, we've already wasted so much time because of your sex-escapades." Hiro pull out his phone.

"It was worth it," Shu smiled sweetly.

"I'm sure," Hiro smiled back, he dialed Suguru's number, "Hey Fujisaki, baka-san came back, get your butt here pronto!" With that he hanged up and turned back to the pink head. "I hope these past few days gave you lots of inspiration, 'cause Sakano-san want a song, and he wants it yesterday!"

"Oh, it's good to be back!" Shuichi exclaimed sarcastically.

XXX

Yuki walked into his office to find Tohma sitting on the sofa already having tea.

"Sorry to come like this Eiri." The mogul stood to greet his ex lover.

"It's fine, I wasn't busy." Yuki replied awkwardly. Since the argument they'd had at the TV studio, they hadn't crossed words. It felt strange. "So, may I help you?" Yuki went to his desk and pretended to look at his messages. He would never tell Tohma how much his words had hurt him.

"First of all, let me say that I'm sorry about the other day, I was upset at your behavior, I know I shouldn't be, and that I have no right to involve myself in what you do, but I love you and I get… frustrated. I was out of line and be assured that it will not happen again." The producer asserted.

"That's alright," Yuki didn't elaborate further, "Is that what brings you here?"

"No, It's about Shuichi," Tohma didn't beat around the bush, "I know he doesn't have anything to do with you, but he's been missing since that night. I've waited long enough, if I can't find him by the end of the day, I will have to contact the authorities." Tohma looked calmly at the blonde man, as if gauging his expression.

Yuki hadn't stopped to think about the consequences of him shaking up with Shuichi in his apartment without a care in the world. Of course people would be worried about Shuichi.

"I wouldn't worry about him," Yuki replied quickly, before he let his ex see too much of his feelings through his silence.

"Do you know where he is? Was he with you?" Tohma came closer to the desk. Yuki only looked the other way; oblivious of the color his cheeks took.

Tohma broke into a huge smile, and smacked himself inwardly for not having thought about it. In the past few days he had been ready to report Shuichi missing quite a few times, always stopped by Hiro… _give him a little more time_… he would say. Finally this morning he'd had enough, and just out of a whim he'd come here.

"I kicked him out this morning; he should be at the studio now." The mangaka mumbled offhandedly.

"Was that so hard?" Tohma asked softly, he was truly happy for his precious friend.

"Well, after he beat me up, it wasn't." Yuki admitted. Had he been looking at Tohma, he would have seen the man's jaw hit the floor.

"Don't tell me!" Tohma came around the desk and removed the sunglasses Yuki still wore. He touched the vague remnants of a black eye softly, tenderly, the way it would have ignited the fires within the mangaka in the past, but now felt warm and brotherly.

The producer began laughing so hard he gave himself hiccups.

"Don't laugh! It isn't funny!" Yuki tried to sound menacing, but the shorter man laughed even louder at the pathetic tough front his ex lover was trying to put.

"Sorry, sorry… I just…" And he kept on laughing.

"I kicked his ass too!" The mangaka announced in his defense, and that set Tohma even more.

"I'd like to shake his hand," Tohma tried his best to sober up, but it was just not happening.

"Yeah? Is beating Yuki Eiri a deed worth of a handshake from Seguchi-sama?" Yuki grouched putting his shades back on.

"That's not what I meant," Tohma was finally able to regain his composure, "I'm so happy you two patched things up. I wish you had called me to share the news sooner. That would have saved Hiro a lot of grief."

"Aw, like I was gonna get out of bed to call Hiro-chan." Again Tohma laughed.

"Guess not." Tohma smiled warmly.

The two men remained silent for a few moments. Tohma reflecting on how many ways their lives have changed in so little time. And Yuki thinking on how much he would have given a few years ago, to see Tohma care about him the way he cared about Nakano Hiroshi. It seemed so meaningless. All those years of anguish, when they could have been good friends and share their ups and downs-- just like they are now—without complicating things the way they had.

Tohma watched him closely, and he couldn't find the strength to pretend anymore. Letting go of his guarded expression, Yuki looked out the window lost in his own thoughts.

"What are you going to do about Mikka?" Tohma asked boldly, there was no sense in beating around the bush about the matter. Yuki announced on live TV to half the nation that he and Mikka would marry before the year's end. That was little over a month away, and the scandal that could come out of this could very well cost Eiri his career, and that assuming Shuichi was completely left out of it.

"I don't know," Yuki let out honestly, "I mean, I have to do it right by her, but I don't want to make the same mistake we did."

"You mean that I did." Tohma corrected, knowing full well that he was the only one to blame.

"We both had our share of fault. You for marrying my sister without loving her, and me for not letting you go when I should have." Tohma looked down, again haunted by Mika's appearance. To think that he could have saved her from all that pain made him feel horrible as a person, but continuing the lie would be much worse. "I'm confused Tohma, I don't know what to do." Yuki leaned back on his chair and sighed deeply.

For his stubborn friend to admit his feelings must have been the hardest thing he's ever done, but that only told the music mogul just how serious the situation was. "What does your gut tell you?" Tohma asked just as confused.

_I don't want to give up Shuichi; I know I should, but… I don't want to…_ Yuki thought, picturing the said singer's sleeping face. He could never admit it aloud to another soul, but Tohma knew, of that he was sure. "Shuichi makes me…" Yuki looked for words to express what he felt.

"Whole," Tohma completed the sentence that described exactly what Hiro meant to him.

"Then you must look for a way to let Mikka off easy. I don't know her that well, so I'm afraid I can't be of much help to you, but you cannot allow her to talk you into going ahead with the wedding." Tohma urged.

"I know, I won't. As selfish as it sounds, I won't put Shuichi through that. I can't stand the thought that he might resent me."

"Like you resented me?" Tohma asked lowly. Yuki didn't reply, he didn't need to.

"I'm glad you've grown so much." The produced smiled.

"I'm not too sure about that, but do I know that I want to be with that asshole, and I'm willing to put a bit more effort than I'm used to." Yuki ended with a lost expression, all these feelings were too knew and complicated for him to understand. Tohma smiled at his friend, and the ex lovers held each other in a warm tight embrace.

XXX

"Cut it out man! Let's rehearse seriously; we had to cancel a lot of gigs because you were getting your ass fucked." Hiro scolded an absent-minded Shuichi; the pink head had made all sorts of mistakes, and on top of that, had gotten calls from Ryuichi every five seconds.

"Hiro! There are children here! " The singer smirked covering Suguru's ears.

"If we're not working, I'm leaving," the said teen shook his band mate's hands off, and got up to leave.

"We are Fujisaki-kun, don't pay attention to that hater." Shuichi smiled guiding the younger man to his instrument.

"Did you call Tohma-kun to let him know our 'leader' returned?" Suguru turned to Hiro ignoring the pink haired man.

"Yeah, he knows. We're having a meeting as soon as he gets back." Hiro replied business like.

"Is he jealous th**r**ough his teeth?" Shuichi smirked.

"Yes Shu-chan, he's so jealous, he doesn't know what to do with himself." Hiro yawned.

"Shuuuuuu-kun!!" Ryuichi's voice flooded the whole studio. The older singer jumped into the waiting arms of the younger one, and kissed his pink head a thousand times it seemed.

"We're not getting anything done are we?" Suguru rolled his eyes.

"I was so worried Shu!" Ryu whined.

"Where's that bastard you sleep with?" Shuichi asked right away, he wanted to ask the arrogant monk to tell Yuki they never had anything going, that they weren't even friends. Even if Yuki said he didn't care, Shuichi could not leave matters like that, he wanted Yuki to trust him, and he would do whatever it took to make that happen.

"He's at school… Oh my god, I can't wait to tell him!! C'mon Shu-chan, tell me that thing Yuki-sensei did to you in the shower!"

"He already did!" Both Hiro and Suguru yelled at once, remembering all too lividly the recount.

"You guys are no fun! I can't wait to try it with Tatsu-chan!" Ryu stuck his tongue out at the two.

"Don't pay attention Ryu-chan, they're haters who are jealous I found true love."

"How does nasty sex equal love?" Suguru asked rolling his eyes – indeed a bit jealous.

"Anyways…" Hiro interrupted, bringing the nonsense to a stop.

"So what did Yuki-sensei say about your hair?" Ryuichi continued without paying Hiro or Suguru any mind.

"He said it look like Kuma-chan's." Shuichi smirked, also ignoring Hiro.

"Kyaaa! Didn't I tell you? Wow, he knows Kumagoro's name!" Ryuichi's eyes gleamed with exhilaration.

"Let's go get something to eat, ne Suru-kun?" Hiro turned to the teen, giving up on the two air headed singers.

"Amen to that!" Suguru rushed out of the studio followed by Hiro while the other two kept on chattering obliviously.

XXX

Yuki sat alone in his office long after Tohma left. Their conversation still in his mind, particularly one part of it… He had to tell Mikka, if not about Shuichi, at least about the marriage. There was no way he could go through it now. He picked his phone and dialed his fiancé's number… no answer; he tried two more times and nothing.

"Weird," He muttered. He didn't leave her a message, instead, he thought to just go to the apartment and get it over with… if only it wasn't so hard to face her.

Bad Luck's music blasted in the background. He moved his lips repeating the words almost unconsciously. The singer's face contorted in pleasure made its way to his mind to torture him, obliterating all other thoughts … _fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? My life as upside down, and I'm acting like a virgin teen!_ The phone rang distracting him from his dirty thoughts. It was probably Mikka returning his call; he looked at the number not recognizing it. He didn't reply, not a minute later, his secretary's voice came from the intercom.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Eiri-san, but there is someone from Musashi High School on the line insisting in speaking with you… it's about your brother." Yuki was shocked to say the least, shouldn't they be calling Mika? Although he wouldn't put it past his stupid brother to have them call, just to annoy him.

"Its fine, I'll take the call." He snapped dryly, turning off the music and switching lines.

"Uesugi Eiri here."

"Good afternoon, I am Watanabe Miyako, assistant principal from Murashi High School,"

"How may I help you?" Yuki asked wondering if Mika was all right, ordinarily he wouldn't, but given the separation and all.

"I am calling in regards of Uesugi Tatsuha; I understand that you are one of his guardians. We tried contacting Seguchi-san, but her phone is unavailable…" The woman explained.

"Is Tatsuha in any trouble?" Yuki cut her off before she could continue with her nonsense explanations.

"Yes, he… believe me, this has never happened in our school before…"

"What did he do?" Yuki cut her again, holding the bridge of his nose.

"He got into a fight." The woman replied rather angrily.

"Is that it? Don't you people have detention or something? I have a company to run, I can't…"

"He sent two boys to the hospital," The woman interrupted, Yuki was rendered speechless, he had gotten in quite a few fight of his own in school, and even sent kids to the hospital as well, and he had never worried about how his parents had dealt with it. This woman sounded like she was ready to kill.

"I'm on my way."

The mangaka hanged up.

He pressed a button and Ryousuke came in a second later. "I have to go to my brother's school, cancel any appointment I might have in the next two hours, I'll call you in case it drags longer than expected." He grabbed his jacket, his sunglasses and rushed out. He was strangely worried about the outcome of this blunder. Hopefully the kid's parent didn't press charges. They all had enough problems to deal with as it is. Something like that to happen could cost them dearly—and not in a monetary way… _I'm going to kill that little bastard!_ He thought, but in the back of his mind, he hoped the little troublemaker was all right.

"Should I come with you Eiri-san, how's Tatsuha-kun?" Ryousuke asked concerned, he liked the monk quite a bit more than he liked his older brother.

"No, stay here and straighten things out, I shouldn't take too long." And he left, running into Makoto in the hallway.

"Sorry Yuki-sensei…" The young man apologized, bowing low, but by the time he looked up; the moody mangaka was already getting into the elevator.

X

"Where do you think he's going in such a hurry?" Misa—an inker—popped out of nowhere.

"I don't know… did you see his face? He looked worried," Makoto let out concerned.

"I didn't know Yuki-sensei was into Bad Luck?" An intern came and joined the two. Makoto smiled at her cockily.

"Why yes, they seem to be sensei's band of choice lately." The penciler smiled broadly. "After I heard them for the first time –from sensei's office of course—I pre ordered their album, they're good, sound a lot like Grasper, but good."

"Oh my god! Did you guys see Seguchi Tohma here before?! They looked so hot together, I soooo wanted to get in the elevator with them!" another young artist joined the gathering group.

"He is married to Yuki-sensei's sister" Makoto stated, proud of the well-guarded info he knew.

"What are you, Yuki-sensei's encyclopedia?" Shingo rebuked, Makoto turned to Misa.

"Anyways… I don't know about you, but I think Yuki-sensei 'likes' Shindou Shuichi." He continued ignoring his 'rival' "I mean, Belial? –from Angel Sanctuary—is the spitting image of Shindou-san!"

"Oh my god, I think so too!! Did you see the show the other day, when BL and Grasper did Shinning Collection and Yuki-sensei was a guest!" Misa exclaimed excitedly, "Yuki-sensei was loooooking!"

"Who didn't?! But that was nothing compared with First Stage… do you remember that one?" Both youngsters had stars coming out of their eyes.

"I thought they were going to eat each other!" Shingo added, all others turned to him.

"I thought you didn't watch that kind of shows," Makoto arched a brow, reminding the inker of the well self- advertised fact.

"When the boss is in them I make an exception." The inker defended his integrity.

"What's all this racket?" Onizuka came out of his office to find the hallway congested with people who were supposed to be working.

"Don't you think so Onizuka-sensei?" Makoto turned to their manager.

"I most certainly have no idea what you're talking about, but I do know, that if I don't see you all in your work stations in thirty seconds, there will be no lunch break!" And just like that, the hallway went back to its empty and quiet mode.

XXX

Yuki made it to the principal's office in record time. Tatsuha sat in a chair in one corner, glaring with a black eye, very much like the one he still sported. It was the only physical damage the blonde could see. Without a word to the young monk, the – then worried—now angry mangaka, waited for the principal to show up.

"They couldn't get in touch with Mika." Tatsuha said with a hint of sarcasm, "I tell you though, I'm shocked you came." Yuki turned his icy eyes to him.

"I tell you this now… If this is a cry for attention, you better cut the crap; I am not in a good mood." At that moment, an elderly woman walked in, Yuki bowed slightly, and Tatsuha didn't even get up, he glared at his older brother with such resentment, that it gave the principal chills.

"Uesugi-san, please have a seat," She pointed to a chair and waited, the annoyed mangaka looked around, confused. Tatsuha cleared his throat and pointed at his eyes.

"I can't take off my glasses… medical reasons." Yuki lied, understanding what his brother meant.

"Well," The woman started not too candidly, " I wish the circumstances of our meeting were much different, but unfortunately they are very unpleasant. As you might have heard from Watanabe-sensei, Tatsuha-kun implicated himself into a horrible fight involving five other boys, two of which got sent to the hospital, one with a broken rib, and the other with a gash on his head." The woman began.

"He fell; I had nothing to do with that one!" Tatsuha stood yelling.

"Tatsuha!" The woman snapped, the monk sat down and crossed his arms crossly. Yuki didn't even bother to look, he had always kept his distant from him—for his own reasons—but now he was truly beginning to dislike him.

"He refused to tell us why he started the fight. You must understand Uesugi-san that the parents of all involved are furious and want to see disciplinary action take place. One of the parents is even talking about pressing charges; we cannot have such a scandal tainting the name of our school."

"It was a fight between classmates, give me a break! Believe me I am not excusing my brother in any way, but I think that's a bit much, kids will be kids." Yuki reasoned coldly, "We'll pay for all medical expenses and damage of course."

"I will speak to the parents in question, but I don't think it is that easy, Tatsuha has only been a student here a little while, and he's not what one would call… a model student." Yuki stood cutting her off yet again.

"I assure you that he will be severely punished for what he did, and he will most certainly comply with any and all punishment you have for him." He turned to Tatsuha, "Let's go."

The teen got up and walked to his brother. And without another word the blonde man exited with his younger brother in tow.

The principal was left with her mouth open agape; this meeting had not gone how she'd planned. By the way the older Uesugi acted, she could see where Tatsuha got his manners. It wasn't clear whether Uesugi-san even care…. But then again… what could she expect from a man with died blonde hair, who was not even respectful enough to take off his sunglasses.

"These rich people think everything can be solved with money." The woman sighed and got on the phone…

X

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" Tatsuha walked behind his brother, he was very grateful someone came to the rescue, but not very thrilled to see _him_.

"I would if I cared." Yuki replied coldly.

"Are you going to tell Mika?" Tatsuha asked worriedly, he could not afford to be sent back to Kyoto.

"No, you are, I just came to get you, I'm not dealing with your messes."

"Hmph, how typical. Eiri-sama is too busy to deal with his family." Yuki turned to his younger brother, with a sarcastic smirk.

"And monk-sama is too busy being selfish, to realize people have lives that do not revolve around him." Tatsuha blinked shocked, it was the very first time Eiri ever retorted to his taunting, his imposing brother would usually brush it off, or tell him to shut the fuck up, but now he seemed different somehow, as if some shield had been lifted from him and the real person underneath was trying to come out. Tatsuha was way to young to understand any of it, but he definitely sensed something.

"I can get home on my own… Thank you so very much for your precious time." The teen let out sarcastically bowing low.

"Are you calling one of your boyfriends?" Yuki let out coldly without looking back at him, again Tatsuha felt that animosity, it was literally reaching out and trying to choke him.

"No need to, I can take care of myself, I only need them for sex. But that aside, Mika is not well, she's barely eating, and she's drinking and taking pills that I can'**t** say for sure what they are. I've never seen her like this." The monk didn't know whether his brother would even care, but he was worried about Mika and was helpless to do anything.

The monk couldn't totally blame Tohma for what was happening to Mika, even though he left her, he was trying to help, but Mika wasn't letting him in. Eiri on the other hand, had also had his play in the whole mess, and was showing no sign of remorse. It was time he began to take some responsibility for his actions. Besides, the cold bastard was the only one he could turn to. Their mother wouldn't want to get involved, and even if she did, the monk was not in the best of terms with her… so that only left the man who would rather die than to lend a helping hand.

"Why are you telling me this?" Eiri turned and set indifferent eyes on the younger Uesugi.

"Because you're the only one who can help her." The monk watched him carefully.

"How so?" The question wasn't sarcastic, just plain unconcerned. Over the years Tatsuha had resigned himself to the fact that Eiri did not have a heart. It'd hurt in the beginning, especially when he was a kid who idolized his older brother as if he were a god, but over time he got used to it. And now, he could almost say that he resented him for it.

"She needs someone on her side, someone to listen to her and understand her." The mangaka looked at his younger brother… _when did you grow up so much? _

"Isn't that your job? And what makes you think she even wants to see me, remember, I'm the one who took her man first." Yuki let out matter of fact, even if he wanted to help her, right now he couldn't even help himself.

"I might be speaking out of line, but… you got over Tohma right? Just tell her how; I think that'd be enough." Tatsuha said what was on his mind before Eiri drifted away, back to that dark place in his heart.

"Hmph… don't get so cocky brat," They reached Eiri's car; he got in first and waited for his brother to do the same. Tatsuha stood there, thinking back, trying to figure out where they had grown so far apart that it didn't feel as if they were related anymore.

"Are you getting in?" The blonde image of himself grouched, he got into the car and looked out the window… remembering…

_XXX Flashback XXX _

"_Niisan!" Tatsuha's flushed face burned, and his feet throbbed from running. After morning classes, he'd rushed home to confirm what he'd heard from a conversation Tohma-oniisan and Mika had had the night before. The six year old had counted the hours until he could see Eiri and hear it from him. "Eiri-niisan!" He rushed through the house and crossed the garden to the unattached room his brother used. Tatsuha pounded on the door, heaving from exhaustion._

"_What the hell are you doing here?" Eiri stood behind him wearing his school uniform-- Kyaaa, he looked so cool! Tatsuha couldn't wait for the time when he'd get to wear it._

"_Is it true?" The words hardly came out of his mouth; just the thought of his brother's manga being published was enough to make him pass out._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" Eiri pushed him aside, "Move! I have homework to do, I don't have time to chatter with you… go and pest your father." He snapped irritated._

"_I heard from Tohma-oniisan that he talked to a friend of his, and that he loved your manga so much that he wants to get it published as fast as possible!" Tatsuha repeated proudly what he'd heard; he refused to be left out of this. Eiri never paid him any mind, and every time he talked to him was to say something mean. It had gotten better for a little while, but ever since he became the official heir to the Uesugi shrine, Eiri just didn't bother with him anymore... so unfair!_

"_Tohma…san, told you this?" Eiri looked weird… kind of hurt._

"_Yes!" Tatsuha lied, he wanted his brother to think that he was important as well, that people did take him seriously and told him stuff." _

_Eiri looked at him for a long while, his pretty honey eyes were scarier than usual, then he opened his door and went into his room, "If you know so damn much why are you bothering me?" He said over his shoulder, and slammed the door on his face._

_X _

"_Why doesn't Eiri like talking to me?" The newly appointed monk asked his older sister, while watching her draw some sort of puppy, she sure didn't inherit the talent Eiri had from their parents… neither had he, but if that meant Eiri had gotten his share, Tatsuha was happy._

"_Don't feel special, that prick doesn't even like talking to himself." Mika replied offhandedly, not taking her eyes from her 'art'_

"_Why do you always call him names? He's not a prick, or a bastard, or whatever other stuff you call him, he's just really busy, besides, he likes talking to Tohma-oniisan." To this Mika snapped her eyes to him, she looked so scary... and ugly._

"_How do you know? What have you seen?" She grabbed him by the shoulders and urged. As of late both his siblings were acting scarier and scarier. Tatsuha hoped he never got like that when he became a teen. His father had told him the pressures would be great, and temptation would knock at every turn—whatever that means—but he seriously hoped it didn't get him that bad._

"_Nothing… let go!" Tatsuha yelled, Mika did, and watched him suspiciously for a while, before grabbing her pencil and continuing her 'artwork'_

"_Eiri is just jealous of you that's all." She declared offhandedly._

"_What… you lie!!" Tatsuha was shocked beyond words, why would his older, cooler, and more talented brother be jealous of him?_

"_He was supposed to be the 'heir' of the temple, he was supposed to be wearing those tunics that make you look so cute, and he was supposed to be daddy's favorite, but because you came along…and his hair of course, he's not, so he hates you." Mika smiled sweetly. Tatsuha was not at all sure what being a monk entailed, he hardly paid attention when his father preached, but he did know that it was a life of enslavement, he was not able to make his own choices, he couldn't have a carefree existence like Mika and Eiri did… why would Eiri be jealous of that?_

"_Liar!" Tatsuha pushed her, making her ruin her picture. Instead of getting mad, she laughed. _

"_You took what belonged to him; he took what belonged to me… what will **I** take from you, ne Tatsuha-chan?"_

_XXX End of Flashback XXX _

It didn't make sense back then, but now… Damn! Why was his family so fucking complicated!?

"Are you coming?" Eiri's voice woke him up. They were parked in front of Mika's apartment building. Souma—the porter—rushed to open his door.

"Tatsuha-kun how was school today?" The middle age man said agreeably. "Oh god, are you alright?" He asked worriedly upon seeing the young monk's eye

"Hey, don't treat me like I'm an old lady in front of my ultra cool brother, you're making me blush." The monk flashed a smirk to the one in question. The man bowed to the blonde man respectfully, just now realizing he was there.

"Will you need your car to be parked Uesugi-sama?" Yuki walked past the man, handing him the key as his reply. Why was it that everyone liked the brat so much? It made him mad every time he thought about it.

"He's having a bad day…" Tatsuha whispered as he rushed to catch up. Yuki heard the half whisper, but didn't say anything.

X

"So, not only do you sleep around, but befriend the service as well… very classy." Eiri observed matter-of-factly, taking off his sunglasses and rubbing his eyes once inside the elevator, wincing a bit. Tatsuha's jaw almost dropped as he saw what looked like a very noticeable, fading, black eye. "What? You've never seen a black eye before… if not, look in the mirror." The mangaka put his shades back on and leaned his shoulder against the wall as the elevator went up.

Tatsuha didn't ask the thousand questions going through his mind. Instead, he assumed the very same posture as the one standing opposite him.

"I befriend the service, as you say, to make it easier for me to sneak out, so that I can… sleep around." Eiri didn't retort to his sarcastic reply as he had before. It was always like this with them, from not talking to sarcasm then back to silence, it got to him every time.

Tatsuha's cell rang, he thought about not answering, but when he saw it was Ryu, he didn't think twice. "Hey babe!" The monk answered coolly.

"_Tatsu, Shu came back!!!!"_ The monk's hyper lover chanted happily, Yuki could hear it from where he stood.

"That's great! Where the hell was he all this time? I tell you, when I see him, I'll show him what it means to make you worried." Yuki arched his brow, feeling a bit more than jealous… _I don't want you near Shuichi!_ His mind screamed against all his principles.

"Don't do anything to my Shu, he has a perfectly good excuse… he was making up with somebody" Tatsuha snapped his eyes to his brother—who had just turned the other way--and a huge grin spread his features.

"I gotta go babe," Tatsuha said quickly and hanged up.

"So… how did you get that black eye… did somebody knock some sense into you?" The next thing he knew, the teen was being pressed against the wall, held by the throat. His brother's eyes were truly menacing, but Tatsuha did not back down, with a glare of his own, he held his ground. Eiri let him go and went back to his corner.

Tatsuha was actually surprised to have gotten any reaction at all from the imposing blonde… but that aside, this was more than he could fathom. _What was Shuichi's secret?_ Hard as he tried for all those years, he was never able to get close to the cruel bastard. And here came some obnoxious singer, and got Eiri to act more human than he's ever seen him. Damn, the little bastard even got a good punch at the untouchable Uesugi-sama at some point by the looks of it. The elevator reached its destination, and both men made their way out in silence.

X

Yuki could sense immediately that something was wrong. The elegant apartment was dark and dusty, and it seemed as if someone has had more than a few rage fits… _boy don't I know those well_.

"Mika!" Tatsuha called dropping his bag and going straight to her room where he stayed in a little while.

Yuki looked around perplexed. He had no idea what had possessed him to come up, and now that he was here, he had no idea what to do.

"She's in there," The teen came back and announced. "Don't tell me you're leaving?" Yuki hadn't move from the front door.

"What I do is none of your business," Yuki spat and went the way Tatsuha had came from.

Mika laid on her bed, fully dressed, her hair undone and her make up smudged on her face. She'd most likely had slept in those clothes for days. He came closer to her, wishing he knew what to do. The man in him who hated her guts, told him to leave, but the brother in him, wanted to help her… but how_? Is there really anything I can do?_ Then, allowing his cowardice to prevail once more, he decided to run… _this isn't my problem; this doesn't concern me… who consoles me when I suffer?_ He told himself less than convinced.

"Eiri?" Mika's voice was so weak, it was hard to hear it, "Are you here to laugh at me?" She lifted her head. Her eyes were so red and swollen, it was hard to believe this was his proud sister; the one he had hated so much for so long. He pondered on her question, was he here to laugh at her? What exactly did he come to do? He watched her and realized that all his hatred was gone; she just invoked sadness and regret.

"No…" He whispered softly and approached her.

"Don't come near me!" She protested weakly, throwing a bottle at him, which he dodged easily. "How you must be enjoying this Eiri… yes, take a good look, because it will be the last time you'll ever get to see me like this!" Her voice picked volume.

"I know we have had our differences, but I would never wish for you to suffer like this." Yuki sat at the foot of the bed; she glared at him with open hatred. He felt so helpless; these kind of things were not his forte. Again, he felt the urge to run, but he fought it, he was tired of always taking the easy way out of everything. Shuichi's words came back to him… _We all run sometimes, the important thing is to know why we run and be able to stop and face our fears_. Those words sounded pretty at the time, but they actually made sense now. _Can I stop running?_ He asked himself… his answer came fast.

"I know it might be too late for this," Yuki turned to her and faced her hatred filled eyes, "…I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I made you go through all that anguish. It may not mean much to you, but for what it is worth for… I'm sorry." Mika watched him with the same hateful eyes, but he didn't care, he had said what he had stuck inside and it felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of him. Yuki knew she would most likely never forgive him, but he had given the first step, and hopefully, little by little, she'd begin to understand. He was so tired of all the resentment, the jealousy, and the hatred. It was time to end it once and for all. He had been the one to take the first step, and now was up to her.

XXX

Mika sat on her bed not believing her hears, her proud brother had just apologized to her. She didn't think him capable of uttering those words, but here he was, saying that he was sorry. He sounded so sincere, that it was hard not to believe him.

She thought she hated him, up until not too long ago, she had blamed him for her unhappiness, but these past few weeks of reflecting made her see that she was the one who brought her own personal hell. She'd known Eiri and Tohma were lovers long before she decided to make up her pregnancy. She knew that Tohma loved Eiri, and that is why she would not let go. Her pride had screamed at the time, her envy towards Eiri had blinded her, ever since they were children; she had hated and envied him. He was talented, he was beautiful, and he was the one Tohma chose, Everything she did over the years had at one point come back to haunt her, All the effort and energy she spent hating had been for nothing.

Yuki stood and gave her a weak smile, there was not point in staying any longer, he had said what he had to say and that was all he could do. He wished she could find the strength to pull through and find a way to be happy. He turned to go.

"Eiri…" Mika called lowly, he turned and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "Please don't go… I don't want to be alone." Her voice was shaky; Yuki came closer and sat next to her. Slowly, he draped his arms around her frail body, and allowed her to cry on his shoulder. She seemed so lost and defenseless; it made him sad, but a little happy as well. For the first time he felt like a brother, and it was not all that bad.

X

"How is she?" Tatsuha stood from the couch and asked as soon as Eiri came out of Mika's room. He heard her cry, he heard Eiri apologizing, and although he was happy for their 'reconciliation' he couldn't help feeling a little jealous. As always, he couldn't do anything… and had completely been left out.

"She's sleeping." Eiri's tone was neither sarcastic nor angry. He sounded tired, or maybe just unguarded. The blonde figure regarded him strangely. Tatsuha didn't know what to think, he was used to the mean Eiri, the sarcastic son of a bitch who didn't give a crap about anybody Eiri, not the man who stood in front of him now. "Don't tell her about your fight at school; have them call me if anything happens." Eiri stated, Tatsuha was taken off guard.

"I… Alright." The confused teen let out. Eiri nodded slightly and headed to the door, "Hey… I didn't have anything to do with Shuichi." The monk didn't know why he felt like saying such an unrelated thing, it just came out. He wanted to tell his brother so many things, to ask him why he hated him so much, to thank him for always—in his bastard sort of way-- being there, but the monk was afraid of being rejected yet again, so he said something he knew his brother would like to hear. Eiri turned, and again regarded him with tired eyes.

"I know," He replied simply and left, leaving Tatsuha with a lot to think about.

XXX

Yuki exited the elevator, to find Shuichi sitting on the floor by the door. He had a bag next to him, which told him the singer intended to spend the night. Yuki felt utterly exhausted, but seeing the singer's contented face as he waited, brought him a sense of serenity.

"Yuki!" Shuichi's lavender eyes lit, and his whole face brightened, "How was your day?" The pink haired man asked happily, jumping to his feet, "We didn't get much done …you know, everyone wanted to know where I was, then Ryuichi came, and y'know…" The singer rushed, throwing his arms around the taller man's neck. Yuki allowed himself to be hugged and kissed, but otherwise did or said anything "I been waiting for you for a while, I was about to go home!" Shuichi stopped his chatter, noticing something amiss. The two men stood facing each other in silence for a full minute.

"How about we go in?" Yuki asked with a tiny hint of sarcasm.

"Are you alright?" Shuichi asked, letting go and moving out of the way. Yuki opened the door and let himself in; Shuichi followed him around the apartment waiting for his answer, but not pressing for it. The mangaka went to his room, got a change of clothes from his closet and went into the bathroom; closing the door on Shu's face

… _Here we go again_… The singer thought sitting on the bed… _I will not be discouraged, he let me kiss him and all… maybe he had a bad day at the office, or maybe… oh my god! Maybe he saw Mikka Costa!_

As Shuichi was picturing the worst, Yuki came out of the bathroom looking refreshed. A towel hung around his neck, and he was wearing nothing but his favorite jeans.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me? I would have taken a shower with you." Shuichi whined, hiding his worried face behind a smile. Yuki snapped his eyes to him, he didn't look mad, but he did seem strange.

"Listen, I'm not in the mood for playing lovers today." He said nonchalantly. Shuichi looked down and began playing with his thumbs... _so much for the honeymoon._

In truth, Yuki very much wanted to hold Shuichi and be held by him, but he was not ready to show that much of his feelings. One of his top priorities for the day had been to talk to Mikka, but with all that happened, he was left with no desire to argue with her, so he came home. Besides, he needed to be alone, to think things through. All these changes were happening too fast, and were draining his energy, but he knew they were necessary in order to go on.

"Do you want me to leave?" Shuichi asked cautiously.

_Do I want you to leave? _Yuki asked himself. "No, I'm just tired, and hungry… are you?" Shuichi brightened, and stood to drape his arms around his lover.

"A little, I'll call in for food; you just rest and let me take care of everything!" Shuichi jumped back and pulled out his phone, and then as a second thought, he put it back in his pocket and came back to the mangaka, taking his hand and guiding him to the bed, making him lay down on it. "You rest; I call you when the food is here."

"I'm tired not sick!" Yuki snapped grouchily, the fact that the kid could make him forget his troubles with his stupidity alone, was puzzling, and endearing at the same time.

"That's why I want you to lay down and rest. After we eat I'll tell you my ideas for our co lab." Shuichi stated seriously.

"Co lab?" The mangaka asked arching a brow.

"Yes, you said you'd draw my plot… Are you gonna take it back Uesugi Eiri?" The blonde man opened his eyes wide, a bit surprised to hear his real name in that vivacious voice. The mangaka rolled his eyes, not to give the kid any weird ideas. Yuki had hoped Shuichi would forget about that stupid promise_… hmph, I guess that was too much to hope for._

"I never take back my word, but I did say I'd only do it if I can't come up with something better… which is not impossible." Yuki stated matter of fact as well.

"He he he… we'll see." Shu laughed and pulled out his phone…

X

They ate and Shuichi showed him his ideas—which were nothing but stick figures drawn on a old and beat up notebook—They were good, Yuki had to admit, but hell would freeze over before he told him so. After that, they'd gone to Yuki's studio so he could work on his –very late-- projects, but after much 'begging' from a certain someone, Yuki wound up drawing Shuichi's ideas into decent panels to show his staff.

"If they don't like it, don't bother to come up with more shit, I will not even waste my time listening to anymore of your blabbing. You do realize I have projects that need to be worked on" Yuki warned as he drew. Shuichi just nodded; the little bastard was hanging over his shoulder drooling, "Stop that!" The mangaka snapped-- this was the very reason he never allowed anyone to watch him draw.

"But you're so good at it! You make it seem so easy. Oh my god! Do you know how many times I imagined you drawing like this?" Yuki had to smile in spite of himself, if the kid knew the kind of things he imagined _him_ doing…

"You wanna know what else I imagined you doing?" Yuki didn't turn.

His smile had turned into a smirk.

"What do I get if I guess?" The mangaka asked nonchalantly, trying his best to concentrate on the drawing in front of him

"I might… I don't know, maybe do this…" The singer blew hot air into Yuki's ear and slowly ran his tongue in circles over the already hot lobe.

'What the hell are you doing!?" Yuki jumped out of his chair and all the hairs on the back of his head stood on end. In his whole life he hadn't felt the electric jolt the kid's tongue caused. He very seldom-- if ever-- allowed his ears to be touched… let alone licked!

"Kyaa! I found your weak spot!!" Shuichi charged like a cat to a mouse for more.

"If you ever do that again I will kill you painfully!" Yuki warned menacingly, but was stepping back for some odd reason. Shuichi just smirked like a little boy and kept on coming. "I mean it brat!"

"No you don't." And with that fair warning, Shuichi jumped on the unsuspecting mangaka, making both of them fall on the floor. With strength he didn't know he had, Shuichi pinned the taller man and sucked his ear savagely.

"Stop it!" Yuki yelled, pushing and trashing, but he wasn't convincing enough. Shuichi moved his assault to the other ear, and the defeated mangaka had nothing left but to relax and let the thrilling current run through his body and make him dizzy.

"Damn I get horny…" Shuichi rasped, rubbing himself against Yuki's already hard sex.

"Do you now?" Yuki mused, grabbing Shuichi's shoulders and pushing him off. He straddled him and tore the younger man's clothes off, not caring to remain dignified any longer.

Shuichi wrestled with Yuki's jean zipper to free the very thing he's been daydreaming about all day long. As soon as it was free, Shu scooted down and took Yuki into his mouth, catching the now fully aroused mangaka by surprise. He sucked hard, then slow, running his tongue the length of the blonde's hard shaft, twirling it in slow circles over the tip, then swallowing it all the way to the back of his throat. Yuki threw his head back enjoying the pleasurable sensations overtaking his body. _How could this clumsy, cry baby make him feel so good?_

Yuki focused his eyes on the scene bellow, letting out a moan upon setting them on the passion filled lavender ones bellow, staring right back at him. With a shaky hand, the mangaka searched for Shuichi's shaft and began stroking it in rhythm with Shuichi's mouth. The young singer threw his head back. Letting go of Yuki's sex, he elicited a throaty, wanting, moan that made Yuki want to enter him right then.

"Yu-ki," Shuichi moaned urgently moving his hips to assist Yuki's hand, wanting more of this exquisite pleasure that was slowly taking away his reason.

"What… already started crying?" Yuki smirked. Pumping faster, and caressing Shuichi's balls and entrance all in one motion. Not wanting to be left out, Shuichi resumed his previous task, determined to see the imposing blonde god begging for mercy. He grabbed the tight ass and guided it deeper into his mouth, Yuki let go of Shuichi's sex, throwing his head back and letting a loud moan escape, his usually contained expression was melting fast. This brought Shuichi a sense of power he only felt when he sang. Just knowing that he could affect Yuki is such a way, made him feel invincible

"Yeah…" Yuki whispered over and over, just the sound of that was enough to bring Shuichi to his knees.

Suddenly he felt Yuki pull away, the disoriented singer, whimpered at the loss of the weight on him, but that feeling didn't last long as his legs were brought back so far, that his knees almost touched his face. Yuki's skilful tongue entered his opening a second later and all he could do was thrash his head from side to side when he was overcome by a heat that ran all over his body.

"Don't quit on me…" Yuki rasped, moving from the tight asshole to the hard cock and lapping at it with abandon. Shuichi's hands grabbed the blonde head and pushed it deeper, wanting to feel more and more the feeling of falling, the burning pleasure that could not be described by simple words.

"I want it… give it to me…" The singer managed to wheeze between moans, but the cruel mangaka was not ready to end it just yet. He let Shuichi's legs go, and straddled him again, offering his own engorged shaft as a request for patience. Shuichi wasted no time taking it deep into his mouth and devour savagely. Yuki allowed himself a few moments to relish the sight, and went back to his previous task, following Shuichi's rhythm perfectly, there was no more talking, just their heavy breathing and their frantic race to the finish line.

"I can't hold it!" Shuichi cried, closing his eyes to keep from seeing and going over the edge too soon. Yuki was not doing much better himself, he let Shu go, coming up to capture the young lips in a searing kiss. Opening the younger man's legs as far wide as they could go and positioning himself at Shuichi's entrance.

"Sorry… it's going hurt." The mangaka grunted, a smirk playing on his flushed face.

"I don't care, just shove it in!" No sooner than said a tearing pain invaded his senses.

Shuichi screamed in a mixed feeling of pleasure and pain, Yuki began moving, slowly at first, then more and more frenzied, stroking Shuichi's sex in sync with his thrusts. Shuichi moved his hips just as frantic, swallowed by the mounting pleasure.

It didn't take long; the mangaka heard a roar from his lover followed by hot liquid splattering him. With a coarse gasp, the blonde man threw his head back and shook all over, announcing his own orgasm.

Yuki fell on top of the smaller body, panting. Kicking himself inwardly for being so easily pulled into Shuichi's games, but glad that he had. He actually felt a lot better. The mangaka rolled over and laid beside Shuichi. The singer was still panting heavily; and had an idiotic smile on his face.

"When I said 'shove it in' I didn't mean it literally you know?" Shuichi grouched, hitting Yuki lightly on the chest.

"You should be more specific, besides, you know you loved it." The mangaka replied sarcastically.

"You're lucky I did!"

"I'm lucky?"

Shuichi took a deep breath and they remained silent for a while, Shuichi not thinking very much, other than thanking god for giving him this little while of bliss.

"I went to see my sister today." Yuki began lowly after a long while, almost hoping Shuichi didn't hear. The singer propped himself on one elbow and stared down at him.

"Is she ok?" Shuichi asked with much concern on his face. Yuki didn't understand why this kid who had come into his life forcefully and abruptly, cared so much. He could understand infatuation, obsession, desire, but the feelings Shuichi had towards him, and the feelings he brought about, Yuki could not even begin to comprehend.

"Yeah, well, if you consider her husband just left her, I guess she's fine." Yuki let out tonelessly, remembering how she cried on his shoulder.

"That's good, and with you, how is she with you?"

Yuki watched him close, "We're tired of fighting with each other… at least for now."

"So you're friends?" The singer's eyes got that little glint Yuki have come to like so much.

"I wouldn't say that, but we called it truce for now."

"I'm so glad! According to Tatsuha, she can be scary. I know it seems bad, but Hiro really loves Seguchi-san." Shuichi began.

"I really don't feel like talking about them," The mangaka turned sharply to the younger man, frowning. Shuichi shut up right away and look the other way… away from those deep hazel eyes that could cause both desire and fear. "About Tatsuha… how good a friends are you really?" Yuki asked lowly, somewhat wearily—which was rare to say the least—Shuichi looked up to the ceiling trying to think a way to describe the whole without making it seem like they were close—which they were not!—

"I met him at NG by accident, he really likes Ryuichi, and since I knew him, he thought to use me to get close to him." Shuichi began as he recalled the day he met the monk.

"Hmph… no surprise there." Yuki let out.

"Well, it's not that black and white. I found out that you were brothers, so I thought to use him too… It just got really complicated from there."

"How so?" Yuki's asked, arching a brow doubtfully.

"Ryuichi used to like me, so Tatsuha got jealous."

"Used to like you?" Yuki's curiosity was perking by the second, and the serious and guarded expression was slowly changing into an open, inquisitive one.

"Remember the day you saw us kissing?" Shuichi turned to the blonde, the mangaka didn't reply, but his expression told the young singer that he remembered very well.

"Ryuichi was coming onto me… well I shouldn't say coming on, see, he has this tendency to hug people a lot, he doesn't think anything of it, but to some folks it may seem a bit strong. I was the flavor of the month then, so he was acting 'normally' Tatsuha saw it and decided to kiss me… to this day I still don't know why. You walked in, and the rest is, as they say… history." Still, Yuki didn't say anything. "I was bombed because you threw me out of your place without an explanation, so I didn't resist, I know I was wrong, but it didn't mean anything…" Shuichi was beginning to sound desperate; he could not lose Yuki over this, not after everything he's gone through. He was prepared to do anything to stay by his side. "Tatsuha and Ryuichi are together now; they don't even remember I exist!" He whimpered on his own defense.

Yuki deepened his eyes annoyed at the lack of confidence Shuichi showed every time things got rough. He was the one who had wanted to 'talk' so badly, and he was the first one to start crying.

"You still think is about that little punk do you?" Yuki's eyes took a glossy sheen to them, it seemed as if he wasn't **t**here anymore. Shuichi could see the transparent anger in them… and then confusion, "I was more jealous of that Grasper moron, if you must know." The mangaka stated softly, the confusion in his eyes was gone, and there was mostly anger in them now.

Suddenly, the mangaka stood and left the room.

Shuichi didn't know what to do. Should he give him his space, or should he follow? It seemed to have taken a lot of effort to admit Yuki had been jealous at all, but Shuichi wanted to hear more, he wanted to get to his love's heart, to know how he really feels, and most importantly… why had he rejected him so fiercely?

Five minutes passed – which he counted by the second—and Yuki hadn't returned, the singer went out of the room to look for his other half, and was astounded to find him fully dressed and heading towards the door.

"Yuki!" Shuichi ran fast, catching the man's jacket as he hurried to get out. "Don't go, please, we don't have to talk anymore, we have all the time in the world!" Yuki turned to him with angry eyes, but anger wasn't the only thing in them… tears, there were tears.

"…Yuki," Shuichi muted.

The mangaka pulled his arm from the boy's hold and went out. Slamming the door behind.

X

Yuki didn't go anywhere; he just sat in his car hating himself for being such a fool. Listening to Shuichi, opened old wounds that he though to have forgotten.

XXX Flashback XXX

_Yuki sat on the windowsill, anger sipped through every pore of his body. He came back from a stressful day at school, to find out 'through Tatsuha of all people' that Tohma would help him get Neon Genesis published. That -- Yuki felt-- was the ultimate insult. Not only was Tohma, not breaking up with Mika, now he made the moronic little bastard a confidant! He watched angrily the outside world he hated so much though his window, if he had it his way, he would never leave this room… but then again._

"_Why can't I fucking hate you?" he asked aloud, it was so easy to hate, up until now he had gotten by on hate alone, he hated his parents, his sister… and most of all his brother. Just the sight of him sickened him. To think that if he'd only looked like that, his life would be so much different, and now, that bastard Seguchi was siding with them._

_He heard the little runt squeak and laugh in the distance, and no sooner than, the little monk came into view, running away from… Tohma._

"_Bustard!" Yuki mumbled jealously. The man who was making him do unspeakable things at night, caught up to the Uesugi prodigy and threw him up in the air a few times while the little runt squealed in delight. "Fucking gross!" Yuki pulled himself off the sill, and went to his drawing table, to draw yet again, Tatsuha being tortured in some horrible way._

_A knock on his door startled him. He ignored it, but when it drew in intensity and volume, he had no choice but to answer it. He opened the door with his usual angry mask, but as soon as he saw the cheery expression on the youthful face of his secret lover, he had to turn his back not to give him a smile of his own. He'd be damned to let him know that he was happy to see him._

"_Hey!" Tohma greeted him, making his way into the room, and closing the door behind him._

'_Hey," Yuki greeted coldly, sitting at his desk pretending to be doing homework. _

"_Is that all the greeting I get after I've been away on tour for months? And here I was expecting a kiss, how silly of me." Tohma began cheerfully._

"_Where is your woman and your appendage?" Yuki asked coldly, ignoring his comment._

"_Mika is somewhere in the house I guess, and I just saw Tatsuha. Today I came to see you."_

"_Oh thank you sir, it's so much more than I deserve." Yuki let out sarcastically, bowing low. Tohma's face took that look that Yuki hated so much, as if he pitied him, "I don't care whether you come to see me or my mother… as long as you do what I want." Yuki went to him suddenly and threw the shorter man on the bed without warning. Tohma didn't seem bothered or angry by it, and that made him even more annoyed. Roughly, the sixteen year old pulled the older man's pants off and didn't even bother with lubrication. Tohma grunted from the pain the forceful entry caused him, but otherwise did nothing. Yuki pulled in and out roughly, watching Tohma's every wince with false satisfaction. Once it was over, he fell on the shorter man, panting, and wanting to die._

"_Did that make you feel better?" Tohma asked lowly, after several minutes of unbearable silence. _

"_No!" Yuki whispered nauseatingly, holding his head in his hands. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what made him do it._

_How could he tell this man who has given him everything, that he was jealous of a stupid six year old? And why was he so jealous of Tatsuha? Tohma's arms wrapped around him as lovingly as always, sometimes it felt like pity rather than love, but that, as well, he couldn't tell him…_

_XXX End of Flashback XXX _

"I'm so fucked up…" Yuki opened his eyes as he came out of his memories. In fact, in every recollection, he was always being a bastard to somebody. "It's a miracle people still talks to me." He mused, lighting another cigarette and inhaling slowly, coming to terms to what he had **to** do.

X

Shuichi lay in bed waiting for his love to come back, he had looked so troubled when he left, that had been nearly impossible not to follow. After a few minutes of watching him just sitting in his car, the singer decided to give him space. He heard Yuki come in, and his heart jumped a beat, butterflies flew around in his stomach as if he was about to get yelled at for something.

Shuichi hoped Yuki wasn't upset, it was so hard to read him sometimes—hell, all the time— he heard him walk around the apartment. Shu wanted to go and greet him, to tell him that everything was alright, but he knew he shouldn't, that by making a big deal, things could get worst.

Finally Yuki came in the room, Shuichi pretended to be asleep, but as the seconds, and minutes went by, he began getting restless.

"I thought you went home." Yuki's deep voice began, he sounded so tired.

"I thought about it, but I decided to stay… does it bother you?" Shuichi replied while sitting up, there was not point in pretending anymore.

"No," Yuki replied simply, sitting on the bed as well and taking off his shoes. His shirt came next and finally his pants; he took his cigarettes out of the pants' pocket and lit one. Shuichi wanted to ask him if he was all right, but he didn't want to seem clingy… _damn! Relationships with men were as complicated as with women!_

"Move over, I'm tired." Yuki snapped, it didn't sound threatening at all, it actually sounded endearing. Shuichi smiled and did as told. Yuki put out his cigarette, and laid back next to him.

"I do like you, I like you a lot." Yuki began out of the blue. "And I wanted to be with you since I first saw you on TV."

Shuichi didn't dare open his mouth. The butterflies in his stomach returned full force.

"At first it was a mild sexual attraction, but it turned into a near obsession, I would stalk you around, and I even went as far as investigating you."

Tears rimmed Shuichi's eyes… _he had to be dreaming… he had to!_

"Hmph, I drew you, painted you, I thought of you almost every waking moment. To this day I have no idea how this… infatuation got so intense. At some point I couldn't work, I couldn't even sleep, that's when I decided to meet you and bring you here. At the time, I still thought it was only a sexual thing, but when I saw you smile and realized who you were; I knew it wouldn't be so simple. When it was all said and done, I was left with certain feeling**s** that scared me. I couldn't deal with them, so I did what I always do when I get scared… I pushed away. I pushed you away" The blonde man paused for what it seemed like forever. Shuichi's tears were falling freely on the pillow bellow."The only time I've let anyone in ended up with him marrying my sister. I fell deep into him then, and I felt that I was doing it again when I met you-so I had to cut you loose. Before I could fall too deep into you." Yuki admitted finally.

"Yuki…" Shuichi whispered.

"Don't talk! " Yuki snapped, "If you do, I might chicken out." He stated. "I was jealous of Tatsuha, I've been ever since he was born. Even though I didn't want to get involved with you out of my own cowardice, I couldn't stand the thought of him taking yet another thing away from me… hmph… some great example I am," Yuki chuckled sarcastically. Shuichi wanted to hold him so tight, but he was afraid to, "I'm tired, I can't deal with this anymore. I just want to… live a normal life, have someone to care about, and who cares for me."

"I care about you! I love **you** so much that I would die for you, I will stay by your side for as long as you'll have me, and if you dump me, I'll stalk you until you take me back" Shuichi exclaimed passionately. He felt Yuki's weak smile, the singer threw himself on the taller man and held him tight. He didn't care anymore, he let the tears flow, and he cried like a little boy. If Yuki thought he was a pansy… too bad, he was happy and he had to show it.

"I guess you'll have to do…" Yuki whispered, holding Shuichi's chin, and bringing his face to meet his. They kissed tenderly at first, them more and more fiercely. There was no sleep that night, only passion.

**XXX**

It's been four days since that horrible discovery. In which time Eiri had not had the decency to call. Mikka went through the wedding preparation**s** as usual, as a means of keeping her mind occupied.

As the days went by, she went from utter despair, to denial, to anger, and all the while slowly regaining her focus. She had planned to confront Eiri and ridicule him and that bastard Shindou in front of the whole nation, playing her role as the victim of course… but oh, wouldn't that make things a hell of a lot easier for them? After the media had their fun with them, and the storm dissipated, they'd be free to do as they pleased, and be together with no one to stop them, while she would be left high and dry. Oh no, Mikka Costa would not allow that! She'd confront Eiri all right, but he wouldn't get away that easy.

Keys in the distant brought her out of her thoughts. She crawled out of the corner in which she'd hid herself from reality and ran to meet him just as he closed the front door. He turned meeting her gaze with a confused one of his own. If Mikka didn't know better, she'd think he was feeling guilt.

"Hey," He greeted softly and set his keys in the same place he always did.

"Hey? Is that the greeting I get after almost a week without so much as a call?" She could still see his happy face as he slept in the arms of that bastard.

"I'm tired, I just came for some things and I'll be on my way." He walked to his studio, "I'm late with two of my manga." He'd never felt the need to explain himself before, was he feeling that guilty? Mikka blocked his way so that he could not pass without physically moving her.

"Don't you care to know how the wedding preparations are going?" To this, Yuki visibly paled. It's not that he'd forgotten about it… how could he? He just didn't want to think about it, or deal with it. He looked at her for a long time, trying to deciding what to do next; he was not prepared to confess, not out of cowardice, but more out of pity, he knew he had to sooner or later, but the later the better.

Mikka could see the turmoil in his eyes… did he care that much for that bastard? Would he throw away all the years they've shared together over a child? He gave a deep sigh that she could not read.

"We have to talk…" He began, and walked towards the sofa, standing by it, and waiting for her to sit first. Mikka did, and strangely enough, she was not afraid, or worried, or hurt anymore. In fact she was glad they'd get it all out in the air, and was anxious to see how Eiri would go about it.

"You know I love you."

She felt like laughing. In fact she did laugh out loud. How ironic that the words he's never uttered before would be the starter of his 'confession'

"You've never said it before, so I don't know." She replied coldly.

"Well, I do. And its hard for me to say it, or even show it at times," The mangaka continued lowly.

"At times?" Mikka retorted sarcastically. Funny how he didn't seem to have any troubles showing it to that obnoxious idiot.

Yuki ignored her comment and continued lowly, "We've been together a long time. I can't say that I've always loved you, but somehow you grew on me over time." Mikka opened her mouth to object to his mind games, but was halted by his hand.

"Let me finish what I have to say… please." He begged. "After we moved in together I thought I'd found someone who understood me somehow. I thought that I could learn to love you that I could hide from my loneliness with you. But eventually I realized that I could not do either, but even then I didn't set you free. I didn't want to admit that I was afraid of being alone."

"So you used me." Mikka stated nonchalantly.

"You could say that."

"Is there any other definition?"

"Guess not… I won't give you any excuses," Eiri set his eyes on hers, and their depth was almost overwhelming. "I fell in love with someone else." He blurted out suddenly.

Surprisingly Mikka didn't feel like killing herself as she thought she would after hearing it from his own lips. Nor did she feel like a victim. She had brought this upon herself; all the signs were there, yet she refused to see them. And, every time she tried to speak of them, Eiri would drown her in pleasure, shutting everything out of her mind, with his lips and hands, and the charity fucks that she now realized were just that.

"Is Shindou Shuichi in love with you as well?" She asked icily, feeling a bit elated at the look of pure shock laced with fear in his face, "Oh, I know, and I know about Tohma as well." Again that look, it made her feel so powerful. Finally the tables were turning.

Yuki heard her but it didn't register at first. How in the hell did she found out? But the obvious answer came to smack him in the face. Naturally he couldn't hate his sister for it, nor could he protest. He stood and walked to the window.

Eiri gazed out the window as she'd done so many times in the past. She allowed him plenty of time to digest her words.

"I can't explain how or why exactly, all I know is that I need to be with him." He turned to her with imploring eyes. His words cutting her insides, this was not the Eiri she knew, the cold, calculating, Eiri she wanted to suffer. "There are no words that could possibly explain or excuse what I've done to you, but you deserve to be free, to find someone who can appreciate you for what you're truly worth." She heard him speak, he seemed so honest, so concerned for her, it was almost laughable.

"I deserve to be free?" Mikka repeated with more than a hint of sarcasm. She wasn't sad, she was past all that, nor did she feel humiliated or hurt anymore. She felt angry and jealous at the ability of that little boy to bring emotions from Eiri she'd never, in her wildest dreams thought of witnessing. And the worst part was, that it wasn't her who brought them out, it was some little punk Eiri met a little while ago, whom the only thing he had going for himself was a stupid, catchy, love song! "What makes you think I want to be free, and what makes you think that I'll make it so easy for you?" Eiri's eyes opened a little wider in shock, then deepened in anger as he realized what she was implying.

"I'm not your sister. I will not let you go on and be happy with some little boy who'll trade you for another idiot who gives him the time of day. In fact, I will tell you what I deserve. I deserve to walk down that aisle in my beautiful dress; I deserve to use you like you used me all these years. You were afraid to be alone you said? Well I'm afraid to be alone too. No, I don't want to be free, and I don't want anyone else to deserve my worth. I want you, and whether you shack up with that bastard is irrelevant. We will get married in three weeks, and we will have a life together whether you like it or not." After finishing her statement, Mikka felt, as she hadn't in years—if ever—she felt so invigorated, so empowered, as if she could climb mountains. Eiri was left speechless, staring at her in disbelief, and that made her feel even better.

"What if I refuse to play your game?" He finally asked tonelessly, noticeably trying to guise his shock and anger with indifference. How in all the years together she had not been able to notice that his indifference was just a front, that deep down he was a lost little sheep in need of guidance. But now, she could read him like a book. Now that there would be no sex to shut her up, no pleasure to distract her from their problems, no kisses and torturous caresses. Now that there was only Eiri, and his devious selfish self, he didn't look so mighty anymore.

"If you don't, I'll drag you and your third rate lover through the mud. I'll make sure your careers are finished… maybe even Tohma's too. In the end, you'll still end up with me." He regarded her coldly; "Tell me Eiri, who would want a man capable of having an affair with his own sister's husband? The stare in Eiri's face turned hateful, "That's right Eiri… me, I'm the only one who can love you in spite of all you've done to us all."

Yuki watched her for a long time, not believing this woman in front of him was the same sweet girl who had stalked him in High School and never gave up on him ever since. The same whose warm embrace he could always escape to. He couldn't blame her; he was harvesting the fruits of his own selfishness. He'd used her, and now had little room to complain or even expect anything from her. But to involve Shuichi and Tohma was so low.

He didn't reply, couldn't reply. Instead, he did what he did best… he escaped. He ran without looking back.

XXX

A/N: SHE SAID WHAT!? I cannot believe the nerve of some people! Just when you thought things were looking up for Shu!! Although, the fact that Mikka said those things doesn't mean jack right, RIGHT? Eiri don't give a shit right, RIGHT? He doesn't listen to anybody right, RIGHT? I guess we'll just have to see what happens. And picking up from last chapter… Will Hiro leave Tohma? OMG the suspense is killing me!!

I know many of you might have felt a little empty handed with Mika and Yuki's reunion, but I thought about it and I don't see the need to complicate it more than that, we'll leave to fate what will become of that. Also I know Eiri seem like a whiny whore, but I feel that his OOC' ness is necessary. Also I'd like to apologize for taking this long with updates, I have a lot going on right now, but fear not, I'm still alive and writing, so please be patient

Next Stop: **Do you Believe? **A lot will happen on this one, I cannot say for sure yet, what I _can_ tell you that it will be long (rolls eyes) but not to worry we're on the right track to the end. And again, sorry for taking so long!

Blue wonders: After reading these long chapters of mine, does anyone make it to this part? (Scratches head)


	30. Fake Star

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of the anime/manga mentioned within this story.

**NC-17** for Yaoi, language, and sexual situations.

I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays! (Whichever ones you celebrate) I did a little too much, eheheh! Well… enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Six: Fake Star

Tohma came in to find Bad Luck busy rehearsing. They sounded as they hadn't in a while, refreshed and polished. Ryuichi and Tatsuha were there as well, dancing to the music, laughing and throwing their praises to the band. Everything seemed as it should be. For the first time in a long while it felt things were truly on track.

The producer had just been to the apartment he'd found for him and Hiro to move into, for the first time that morning, and was feeling pretty giddy about it. He couldn't wait to tell his lover. Tohma hadn't wanted to say anything until he made sure it was the perfect place for them to start their new life together.

"Let's take five!" Hiro called as soon as he spotted him, the producer smiled warmly at his lover, who smiled back, just not as warmly. Tohma had felt a change in Hiro's behavior in the past few days, he didn't thought much of it at first, accrediting it to Shuichi's disappearance, and the stress of their album release, but now that the hyper singer had been back since yesterday, Hiro's manner had not gone back to his loving and trusting self. Tohma didn't know what to make of it, if anything really, its not like they had had an argument or a creative disagreement of some kind, for all he knew, he was just being paranoid, and Hiro was just tired from all the stress he's been put through. Still, Tohma had a bad feeling at the bottom of his gut, and over the years, he'd learned not to ignore them.

"You look tired." The producer muted, giving Hiro's hand a little tender squeeze as the longhaired man came to meet him.

"A bit," The guitarist replied, looking over his shoulder to see where the others were. Tohma found this peculiar; Hiro was not one to care whether the others saw their little displays of affection.

"Is everything alright Hiro?" Tohma asked, hoping this gave his lover an opening to talk about what was bothering him.

"Yeah, everything's ok, I just have a lot on my mind." The longhaired man replied absently.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The blonde producer insisted tenderly, but a bit concerned. It was now obvious to him that Hiroshi was hiding something.

"Oh, its not important, y' know, the normal pop-star stuff, nothing to worry about." Hiro smiled offhandedly. Tohma didn't insist, but noted the very out of character reply with a little frown. He knew Hiro well and knew that his lover would eventually tell him. He just wished the younger man had waited a little while longer before letting stress get to him. Especially since Tohma had been keeping his surprise all week, and now that Eiri and Shuichi were out of his mind, he wanted to go forward with his divorce and moving with Hiro to their new place.

"I have something to tell you, let's go have lunch." The producer smiled, taking his lover's hand and urging his towards the garage area.

Hiro pulled away tenderly, but resolutely, "Tohma… I can't, I'm sorry, I already told the guys we'd get together to talk about a few things." Hiro apologized looking away from Tohma's eyes, leaving the older man disoriented for a second. "Shuichi missed a lot in these past few days, so Suguru and I will fill him in."

"Alright, I guess we can talk later," The blonde keyboardist muted.

"I'm really sorry, I'll check with you next time," Hiro added as if sensing he'd sounded harsh. Tohma was still debating how to feel, when the rest of the crew interrupted as they made their way towards the parking area as well.

"Tohma-kun!" Ryuichi came running and hugged his band mate as if he hadn't seen him in years.

"Hello Ryu," the producer replied scarcely and pulled the singer away.

"Hey! Are you guys going to lunch?" Shuichi asked cheerfully as he and Tatsuha caught up, Tohma turned to Hiro, searching his eyes for an explanation, but the longhaired man just turned to the pink haired singer, knocking him on the head.

"Hello! Earth to Shuichi, don't you remember we made plans to eat together and talk about what's happened while you were gone?" Hiro modulated, fixing his eyes on his best friend.

Shuichi looked lost for a few seconds, then he lit up like a X-mas tree. "Oh yeah… we did, didn't we Fujisaki?" Both Bad Luck members' turned to the almost invisible teen.

"Whatever," The youngest man grouched, walking past them.

"I'll see you later," Hiro gave Tohma a quick peck on the forehead and went off, pushing Shuichi along with him.

Tohma stared after them with mixed feelings, Hiro obviously lied to him, and even Shuichi and Suguru were in on it… what is going on, was Hiro getting tired of him just as Mika said? He didn't believe it, or rather, he didn't want to believe it, but he couldn't see any other explanation.

"Shuichi-kun!' The producer called remembering something he had meant to do the day before. "Could you come here a bit?" The singer approached him cautiously, which reinforced Tohma's uncertainty.

"I didn't do it!" Was the first thing that came out of the singer's mouth, Tohma eyed him strangely.

"Don't be scared, I just want to give you this." He pulled something from his pocket and held it up for the younger man to see. "I won't be needing it anymore, but I'm sure you will." Shuichi's eyes watered from happiness, "This is for the well deserved black eye you gave him." Tohma smiled remembering the sight.

"Is this what I think it is?" Shuichi took the shiny key and looked at it stupefied.

"Not having it taken away will be a difficult task, he must have taken it from me a dozen times." Shuichi nodded his resolution to keep this treasure, but otherwise said nothing; he was just too astonished. All he wanted to do right now was go to Yuki's place and try it… _open Yuki love nest's door with my own key! _Shuichi's eyes took a mischievous look to them, and he began snickering and blushing by himself. The others rolled their eyes knowing exactly what was on the singer's mind.

"Who did you give a black eye to, Shu-kun?" Ryuichi asked innocently, looking from the singer to the producer and back.

"I'll tell you later babe," Tatsuha whispered lowly into his lover's ear, the grin he wore told Ryu more or less what the he had already figured out.

Tohma's phone went off, his face changed dramatically as he looked at the screen and saw whom it was.

Hiro noticed, and wanted nothing more than to ease his lover's mind, since Mika Seguchi came to his place to threaten him with killing herself, Hiro had done everything humanly possible to avoid Tohma's inquisitive eyes. It had gotten to the point were he lied and went to his parents place just so they didn't have to share the same bed. It was getting more and more difficult to pretend indifference, especially since Tohma seemed to be sensing something amiss. He needed to decide what to do, and fast!

"I have to take this call, I'll see you all later," The producer announced worriedly, and with a last glance at Hiro, the blonde man walked away, already listening to whoever had called.

X

"What's the matter with you Hiro?" Shuichi asked as soon as Seguchi was out of sight, they used to cover each other's lies a lot in high school, but it had been years since there had been a need to.

Hiro looked at his friend, then at the Ryuichi and Tatsuha, "Nothing, we'll talk later. Let's go get something to eat… I'm starving." He added absently and went towards their van.

Shuichi turned to the other two and smiled apologetically, then followed his best friend out.

X

Suguru, who stood to one corner the whole while, was a bit apprehensive to be left alone with the monk and his man. "I forgot something upstairs!" He exclaimed, and hurried off. Ryu and Tatsuha were left alone in the hall.

"You should talk to him Tatsu," Ryuichi turned to the taller man, with tender eyes.

"What am I going to say? I'm sorry you like me and I don't like you back? Suguru is a big boy, he can deal with it." Tatsuha replied, holding his lover's face in his hands and kissing him roughly on the lips.

"You guys been friends since you were little, you can't leave him feeling left out." Ryu insisted.

"He will, no matter what I say. Besides, I have a lot more important things to worry about right now. I told you I had a huge fight at school yesterday, and my bastard brother knows about it. Not to mention I might even get spelled from school. If that happens it's back to Kyoto for me… do you know what that means?" Tatsuha reasoned, kissing Ryuichi again and again all over his face. "I can't bear the thought of not seeing you."

"That's what you get for getting into fights!" The older man reproached, not feeling sorry for his lover, but for the kids he sent to the hospital. If Tatsuha were to be sent back to Kyoto, it wouldn't mean they'd break up. They just wouldn't see each other as often, but they'd still be together. And if that were case, maybe it'd be good for Tatsuha; he needed to learn a little empathy. Even if that meant that he himself would have to suffer the consequences along with his lover. Ryuichi had already made up his mind; and he would be with Tatsuha no matter what.

"I did it for you!" Tatsuha whined-- but in his deep voice didn't sound as cute as when Ryu or Shu did it.

"I never asked you to beat up people who talk trash about me. What do I care if some teenager I don't know thinks I'm fucking Shuichi?" Ryuichi reproached, turning the other way, but in reality feeling pretty good that Tatsuha would go to such extents to protect his dignity. Of course fighting was wrong no matter how one looked at it, but he had felt a tingling in his tummy when Tatsuha recounted the tale.

"I do! I care, and if tomorrow someone else comes along and talks trash about you, I'll beat him to a pulp!" The monk said resolutely.

"And you won't get it for a month!" Ryuichi stated just as resolutely.

'You wouldn't do that to me!"

"Try me,"

XXX

"Hiro!" Shuichi ran after his friend, the longhaired man turnedwith a sour expression on his face, Shuichi felt miserable, he'd been so wrapped in himself and his problems that he had not stopped to even think Hiro might have some of his own… _of course he does! His lover just left his wife, and she is not doing good at all… it must be putting quite a strain in their relationship. On top of that, they're clacked up in a small apartment with me!_

"Hey!" Hiro mumbled as if he'd just seen him now for the first time all day.

"What's wrong dude? I mean, back there, is everything alright with Seguchi?" Shuichi asked concerned.

"Oh, that, yeah, we're alright, I just want to stay out of his way as much as I can, y'know… he's busy and all." Hiro replied dismissively, waving a hand and turning for the van.

"You know, we might not be as close as we were in high school, and we might have drifted apart since we found our other halves… but, I'm still you friend, you can tell me what's on your mind." Shuichi came closer to his childhood friend, feeling that closeness they used to share, for the first time in months. "I might not be able to help much, but I'm here to listen."

Hiro looked at his friend struggling with his emotions, he wanted so badly to tell another how he felt, to ask what should he do, but at the same time he didn't want to bring in more people to his dilemma and complicate things. He knew Shuichi well, and knew that his friend-- even though he's been distant for his own reasons-- would explode after hearing Seguchi Mika's threat, and would most likely intervene… Hiro knew nothing good could come out of it, despite Shuichi's good intentions.

"Just stress, don't give it too much thought. So, I'm really happy Eiri-san and you patched things up." Hiro changed subjects cheerfully.

"You can't lie to me man! I know something is wrong, and if you won't tell me, maybe I get Seguchi himself to ask you." Hiro let go of his mask and let his feelings show, he was lost to this pink haired goof, who could always bring the better and the worst of him.

"There isn't anything you can do about it, I don't think there is anything even I can do, just let me deal with it Shu… please."

"But Hiro, we are friends! Even if fame, stress, and other stuff get between us, at the end of the day, we know we can count on one another! What makes you think that friendship is only good when it's convenient? I know I might not be able to help, hell! I can't even help myself! But I can't stand knowing that you're going through hardship on your own!" Shuichi's words could be heard in the whole underground garage by now, his emotions running high. All he could think was what he'd gone through with Yuki, and he knew he would not let his best friend go though the same if he could help it.

Hiro smiled defeated, he lost, and there was no way he could argue with that. Suddenly, they were in high school again, talking about their grades, and chicks and their petty problems. Only this time, it was not that easy.

"Let's get in the van." The longhaired man said, realizing they were still in the middle of the parking garage.

Hiro drove aimlessly he wasn't hungry. He just wanted to get away from NG and Tohma, if only for a little while. The young man knew his older, and wiser lover suspected something, and would confront him soon. Hiro just didn't know what he would say, or do.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Tohma hadn't gone to the club that night, or rather, what would have happened if I hadn't bumped into him at the record store?" The guitarist wondered absently.

Shuichi just looked out the window, the passing cars but a blur… just as his thoughts. "We would probably still live at home, playing at "Perushana's" and trying to make it in the industry. I would have never met Yuki, and you'd still be obsessed with Maiko." Shuichi replied matter of fact, and yet confused, _why is Hiro talking like this?_

"Don't you think life was a lot simpler back then?" Hiro turned his green eyes to his friend for a second. Shuichi could see the turmoil in them, just like… "Weren't you happier, when things were so much simpler?"

"You sound like a coward," Shuichi whispered. Hiro couldn't even reply, his friend was completely right.

Without realizing it, they wound up at their old high school, where everything started, their band, their dreams of stardom… everything. Hiro parked the van in front of the building, and the two friends lost themselves in their younger days' memories.

XXX Flash back XXX

"_Ne Hiro… do I look good?" Shuichi ran up to his friend and asked in a kitten voice, flipping his hair exaggeratedly this way and that. _

_Hiro made a face, and went back to the book he was studying as he walked down the hall to his shoe locker. His mother had been nagging him about getting top place in his midterms, and apply to that top-notch high school she wanted him to go to. In reality, he didn't plan to apply for that school, but go to the same high school as Shuichi; he and the school's comic relief had great plans for their high school years. They were going to form a band, play in all school activities, be the most popular guys in school, and most of all… LOSE THEIR VIRGINITY! Nope, top-notch schools were not ready for that. Plus, he doubted Shuichi would even get into high school at all with his current grades._

"_Copying Sakuma Ryuichi again huh?" Hiro mumbled sarcastically and walked ahead._

"_Of course not! I'm not copying him; I just think this hair-do suits my face. In fact, you should do something with that mane of yours. Maiko said the other day that it looks as if you have lice!" Shuichi laughed loudly, catching up to his friend and grabbing a hand full of his hair. _

"_Did she really say that?" Hiro asked gravely, slapping Shu's hand away._

"_Of course not you idiot! I'm just jealous 'cause I can't grow my hair like that," Shuichi smiled " but you should do something with it, it's so 'American'" Shuichi mused striking a head banging pose._

"_Shut up," Hiro pushed him, and put his book away continuing his way down the hall followed by his 'shadow.'_

" _I don't know why you're studying so hard, it's not like you're gonna apply to that school your mom's bugging you about… are you?" Shuichi's face suddenly changed to worry; it never ceased to make Hiro laugh._

"_Of course not, but I like studying," The longhaired smart boy replied._

"_Geek!" Shu coughed._

"_Virgin," Hiro coughed back._

"_You're a virgin too!"_

" _I did get a blowjob behind the gym, so technically I'm not." Hiro corrected matter-of-factly._

"… _I did get a blowjob behind the gym… shut up!" Shuichi mimicked disgusted. "I don't care about those sort of things, I am in love with someone already, and I will settle for no one else!" The shorter teen stated with a determined glint in his eye, the same he always got when talking about their future 'band'_

"_I don't think Sakuma Ryuichi would let you put your thing anywhere near him." Hiro smirked mockingly._

"_Yeah, whatever." They reached their destination, Hiro opened his locker and found a small envelope inside, before he could even lay a finger on it, Shuichi had already opened it and was in the process of reading it._

"_Ooh, met me under the Sakura tree behind the school gym… so that's where 'all' the action happens huh?" Shuichi chanted emphatically, _

_Hiro snatched the letter from his friend's paws, and scanned it quickly, then put it in his pocket. "Hasn't your mother told you not to read other's letters?" _

"_Of course she has! do you think I listen?" Shu smiled angelically, "So are you going?" Hiro didn't reply. "You might get another blowjob out of it" he sang sweetly, Hiro just gave him a look, but didn't reply._

_The two didn't dwell about it any longer, after school, they went to the manga store and bought the latest releases from their favorite mangaka Yuki Eiri, and talked passionately about them instead. _

_X_

_Hiro returned home, and put the letter with the countless others. Shuichi didn't even begin to know just how popular with the ladies his best friend was. Not that Hiro would ever tell him, he could very well imagine all the teasing he'd be subjected to, at the hands of his perky friend. Nor would he trash the letters those nameless girls worked up all of their courage to give to hi. Hiro just wasn't like that. _

_He sat on his bed, took a book out of his bag, and threw himself back, opening the page from where he had left off, before Shuichi interrupted him. Then, as an afterthought, he turned his head to the nightstand, where a picture of Shuichi, Maiko, and himself rested between his lamp and a pile of cd's. He took the frame and ran a finger over the younger girl's face._

"_Will I ever get the courage to tell you?" Hiro sighed. A quick knock on the door brought him back to earth; his brother Yuji popped his head a second later._

"_Shu's on the phone" Hiro got up and took the apparatus._

"_What the hell are you doing home… what about your blowjob?!" The rowdy teen yelled, Hiro had to pull the receiver away form his ear._

"_Calm down! You sound as if you're getting something out of it." Hiro cracked._

"_I bet you're studying like the nerd you are, you're wasting your youth man! Don't tell me this is because of Maiko? Man you're such a loser, I wish you could see the L I have on my forehead right now." Hiro shook his head an hung up, the phone rang again immediately, but Hiro gave it back to Yuji—who had stayed there the whole while-- and went back to his bed._

"_Aren't you gonna answer?"_

_Hiro smiled shaking his head "Nope, that baka needs to get a life."_

_XXX End of Flashback XXX_

… _I can't follow anything through_, Hiro thought coming out of his memory "I'm leaving Tohma," The guitarist stated without preamble.

"What?!" Shuichi turned to his friend in disbelief. "What do you mean?" Their relationship had seemed so solid from the start, a match made in heaven. If anything, it seemed too good to be true.

"I mean… these people, we don't belong with them, there're on a whole different level than us." Hiro slumped on his seat and sighed.

"Now you're talking nonsense, you don't sound like the Hiro I know." Shuichi spat.

"Think about it! Honestly, do you see yourself in the same league as Eiri-san?" Shuichi had to admit that he didn't, but that didn't matter, Yuki had chosen him, just as Seguchi Tohma had chosen Hiro. "I'm sorry if what I'm about to do will crush your dream." The longhaired man apologized wholeheartedly.

"Our dream Hiro! and it doesn't have to be crushed! I don't care what happens to the band, but at least tell me what's going on! I know you love Seguchi and that he loves you" Shu insisted passionately.

"Love doesn't always conquer all…" Hiro stated composed.

"Yes it does!" Shuichi yelled, about to pull his hair. _What the hell what's going through his friend's mind? _

Hiro wished he had Shuichi's determination and fearlessness. He knew his friend would do anything to attain his own happiness, but he was not that brave. Mika Seguchi's words still rang through his ears, he knew he could never live with himself… or Tohma if she were o go through with it.

"I refuse to believe that you'd chicken out of your problems." Shuichi spat disgusted.

"What do you know?" Hiro spat back.

"You're telling 'me' that?"

Hiro closed his eyes and remained silent for a long while. Shuichi remain silent as well, but not thoughtless, he could not begin to comprehend what was going through his friend's mind. He would support him with whatever decision he made ultimately, but that didn't mean that he would not try his damnest to convince him otherwise.

"I can't stay with him…" Hiro whispered as if explaining himself.

"Why?" Shuichi exclaimed.

"Mika Seguchi paid me a visit." Shuichi felt hot all over. The singer knew Hiro would not just up and leave the man who'd turned him gay just because of that! There must be something more to it. Just the thought of that woman playing his friend's moral antics made him angry.

"What did she say? Hiro don't let her play you like that! She is scorned and would tell you anything!" Shu almost screamed.

Hiro knew it would go down like this, but just speaking it to another person, made him feel a bit better. "I know what you're thinking, but I'm not telling you this to seek for advice, I've already made my mind." The guitarist let out.

"So, I guess that's all your love was worth," Shuichi replied disgusted. Whatever the woman said did not justify Hiro running like this.

"You don't understand… I didn't expect you to, but regardless of what you think, please don't tell Tohma, I want to solve this on my own."

"That's not what friendship is all about," Shuichi believed in his friend, even if he didn't agree with him all the time.

"Please Shuichi…" Hiro pleaded.

"I won't, but I tell you this, if he asks me, I won't lie."

"Fair enough," Hiro agreed, hoping it didn't get to that.

XXX 

What do you have for me?" Tohma asked urgently, as soon as he was out of earshot from the group. Utada Shigeru, never called unless something mayor – and always bad—was to be printed in the pages of the gossip magazine he worked for, which happened to be the most circulated one in all of Japan.

"I sent you a copy of Friday's release this morning, didn't you get it?" The man asked somewhat surprised, then added gravely, "I think you need to see it."

"Is that bad? What is it, why didn't you contacted me sooner?" Tohma grew more concerned by the second, the only two things that crossed his mind that could be on that magazine, is his affair with Hiro or Eiri's with Shuichi, but that was too fresh for anyone to know, unless…

"I would have, but I just got back from overseas myself, I sent it as soon as I saw it."

"Well, what is it this time?" The producer had stopped quite a bit of damaging bad press from ever hitting the stands thanks to Utada's information network.

"Are you alone?" The editor asked.

"I'm on my way to my office," Tohma replied.

"Call me once you're there… it's bad, and I'm not sure if even you can stop it this time."

"Don't scare me Shigeru," Tohma whispered hurrying his pace.

X

Once he got to his office, he immediately saw the manila envelope on his desk. He tore it open and looked at the contents for a full ten minutes before setting it down and massaging his temples frustratingly. He dialed Utada's number, already thinking on how he would deal with this.

"Did you see it?" Shigeru came on a second later.

"I've warn him so many times…" Tohma let out exasperatingly.

"I have no idea what to tell you, that issue is supposed to hit stands on Friday, and although everyone in the printing department was made to sign an non-disclosure agreement, there's talks of nothing else. What really worries me Tohma is that, that kid is related to you," Shigeru voiced concerned. The article in question went on to tell the public exactly who the 'mysterious' black haired beauty was, and took full advantage on the uncanny resemblance to his blonde, elusive, and not too nice to the press brother. He'd seen his friend through some scandals, but this one might be too huge for even the great Seguchi Tohma to get out of.

"I know…" Tohma whispered, looking at the image of Ryuichi and Tatsuha kissing passionately, right on the lobby of this very building. Not to mention the other very compromising pictures within the magazine. Whoever was responsible for this, had done a superb job at stalking them, Tatsuha in particular, there were even photos of him coming out of school, Ryu's place, and where he had once lived with Mika. The more Tohma thought about it, the less possibilities of fixing this he saw.

"Ryuichi is hot news, he's always been, I'm afraid there will be nothing you can do to persuade the editors in chief not to publish this." Utada urged.

"I know," Tohma let out, again feeling lost. His thoughts raced with repercussions this could bring. Ryuichi was the nation's god, but even he could not get out clean out of this. Tatsuha was not only fifteen years his junior, but underage as well. On top of it all, Mika… and his mother. "…What have you done…?" Tohma thought of Tatsuha's rashness and thoughtlessness, and how he always did exactly as he pleased without concerns of who he hurt in the process.

'Come again?" Shigeru asked.

"Oh, nothing, just thinking aloud." The mogul stated.

"Tohma, what are you going to do?"

"I'll think of something," The producer replied less than sure.

"If there's anything I can do, let me know, although I'm afraid it won't be of much help." Tohma's good friend lamented.

"Thank you Shigeru, you've done more than enough." Tohma hang up, and took a deep breath. _"… things were going too great weren't they?" _

Tohma sat up and snapped into the intercom, there was not time to hesitate "Usagi, I need you in here now." The assistant came in a second later.

"I need you to find out everything you can about these people," Tohma didn't waste any time, he wrote the names of the main publishers, and although the photographer who had taken those photos was a small fish in the pond, he jolted down his name as well. "… and I mean 'everything'." The producer emphasized.

"Anything's the matter Seguchi-sama?" Usagi asked worriedly, very seldom she saw her boss looking so grim, especially since he and Nakano-san got together.

"No, let's just say I'm fighting fire with fire…" The young woman bowed politely and left quickly to do her task. Tohma dialed another number, and waited for a reply.

"Tohma- kuuuuun!" Came Ryuichi's happy go lucky voice.

"Get here… fast!"

XXX

It has been years since he's heard Tohma's voice so grave. At first, Ryuichi didn't know what to expect so he left Tatsuha and rushed to meet his old friend and in more ways than one, his mentor. As soon as he walked into his friend's office and saw his face, Ryuichi knew it was something devastating, beyond Tohma's control. The way the singer saw it, there could only be one thing that could make his already pale band mate look like a ghost, and that had Tatsuha written all over.

"What is it?" Ryuichi walked towards the desk, his green eyes keen to those of Tohma, no need to play the absent minded ten year old role he preferred. "I came as fast as I could."

Tohma had thought it through while waiting for Ryuichi to show up, and frankly, even if Usagi found any damaging information about those magazine people, there was no way he could intervene. This story was too big for them to care much about their reputations.

"Have a seat," Tohma pointed to the chair in front of his, the whole thing seemed so formal and impersonal. Ryuichi was actually beginning to get scared. The singer did as told.

"I don't know how we're going to get out of this…" Tohma began, and set a magazine in front of him. Ryuichi saw the picture, and for a moment it didn't register, then slowly, he took it and stared at its cover as if he didn't know the people on it. The singer then paged it slowly, running his eyes up and down each page.

Tohma watched him carefully, it seemed Ryuichi understood the gravity of the situation, but then again, one never knew what went through his old friend's mind.

Ryuichi finished paging through the magazine, and set it down, his face hadn't change in the least. Tohma didn't know what to make of it. Suddenly, the singer rose and went to a cabinet, opened it, and began looking around in it.

"Don't you have anything to eat Tohma-kun… I'm starving!" The producer was floored. Was he in denial, or did he truly not care?

"Ryuichi!" Tohma let out, the singer turned to him and gave him one of his most honest and heartfelt smiles.

"This is my problem, you don't have to worry about it Tohma,"

"No its not 'your' problem, its 'our' problem, we're friends and Tatsuha is like a son to me, I don't want to see either one of you get hurt."

"It's ok, I don't care what people think of me, I love Tatsuha and I'm willing to go through anything for him, even if it means the end of my career." Tohma was taken aback, for as long as he knew him, Ryuichi thought of nothing else but singing, and now, here he stood, forsaking that just to be with the one he chose. The producer admired, and even envied that determination. Hiro's current behavior immediately came back to mind, but Tohma pushed it aside and focused in this moment.

"You do realize the consequences this might bring, not only to you, but to Tatsuha as well." The producer asked nonchalantly.

"I know," Ryuichi muttered lowly, "I'm willing to go to hell for him." Tohma didn't know what to say. On the one hand he admired him, but on the other thought he was nuts.

"But is '_he'_ willing to go to hell for you?" Tohma asked in a low voice, he could not leave aside Tatsuha's immaturity and selfishness. True, the teens seem to have grown a lot since coming to Tokyo, but has he grown enough? And what were his feelings for Ryuichi. Infatuation did not equal love, and he'd hate to see the Ryuichi who was cast off by Yoshiki all over again.

Ryuichi seemed thoughtful for a few moments, and then smiled, "I don't care, I'm not letting him go no matter what he thinks, he's stuck with me, and if I have to pull him to hell with me by the hair, then I will." Tohma broke into a grin and shook his head.

XXX

Hideaki Asato walked into his office in disbelief. When his secretary told him that Seguchi Tohma, 'the' Seguchi Tohma was waiting for him, he could not believe it. In all his years in journalism, he's written hundreds of pieces on him and his band, but never, ever, has the man himself contacted him. This must mean that what he had was indeed the time bomb he'd thought.

In numerous times he thought he had information that would bring the kings of the music industry down, but the overly rich and beautiful idiots never seemed to care. In fact they always managed to dust themselves off, and go on being gods. Well, he was tired of it; it was people like them who made his life the hell it was. None of them deserved the adoration and almost holistic manner in which they were regarded. Sakuma Ryuichi was not all that talented in his opinion, and the man sitting so solemnly in front of him, was nothing but a rich boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who has never gone through any hardship in his pretty life.

Just looking at him, sitting in his messy, shoebox of an office, looking so regal and totally out of place, pissed him off… _Yes Seguchi Tohma, I will pull the rug from under your feet and make you fall on your ass._

"Seguchi-san, I could not believe it when I heard you wanted to see little 'ol me." Asato sat and crossed his legs, assuming an air of superiority… if only just for show.

"I'm sure you know why I am here, I will not take much of your time. I want you to remove that article from Friday's release." Seguchi Tohma's tone was icy, unrelenting, not at all the pleasant man everyone said he was. Asato almost laughed at the thought of it. If this was his way of begging… well… he was not going to get very far.

"I'm sure you came prepared with some sort of threat. Let me save your breath Seguchi-san, nothing you might say or do will make me pull the plug on the story. Just the fact that you came personally tells me just how desperate you are." Asato smiled evilly.

"Desperate? Hardly," Seguchi's unreadable face did not change. "I realize this is a very juicy piece of trash that people will breathe in like air, and being the fist magazine to 'have it' will further whatever little career you've got." Asato gritted his teeth, refusing to play Seguchi's game. " I didn't say to remove it permanently… just, until my brother-in-law turns eighteen, that's not too far away. You will still get your 'story of the year' and your bonus, maybe even a better office, and you'll cause a minor a lot less grief."Tohma ended confidently, but feeling less than.

Just for the chance to see the man's poker face stressed if only for a second, Asato would do anything. He could not believe the gal of his, to show up here and demand anything.

"Story of the century you mean, and no, I will not wait until Tatsuha-kun turns eighteen…hell! That's half the juice right there!" It gave him such pleasure to go head to head with the bastard. Hideaki would remember this day for a long, long time.

"What if I promise you exclusive interviews, Ryuichi's admission in his own words, Tatsuha's, photos… you name it." Still Seguchi's face did not change, he uttered each and every word as if he were talking about the weather, " Of course you can refuse and go on ahead with your clandestine story, obtained by very questionable methods, that I fully intend to bring charges against, and bring this magazine down, along with you. And believe me when I tell you… I will make it my personal mission to see you and everyone associated with you ruined." These words were said resolutely. "Of course the exclusive rights to the 'real story' will be granted to the competition, and this little 'inconvenience' will be forgotten rather quickly." The producer ended powerfully, "I just thought it fare to give you the option, since you worked so 'hard' at getting your material."

Asato's mouth was left agape. Just the tone of the man told him that he was serious, but then again, if he was here, it must mean that it will cause them more damage than he cared to admit. The editor knew that Seguchi could press charges for a number of things; from stalking a minor, to breathing air in the same vicinity as them, if he really wanted to. The powerful man had the lawyers and the money to win, but still, this story was a gold mine ready to be dug in.

"You must be pretty nervous if you have to resort this low." Asato let out confidently.

"Low? I am here offering you a legitimate piece, that I much rather have in my own magazine, in exchange for your discretion. A rather uneven trade if you ask me. You deserve less than the dirt Ryuichi steps on, and yet, here I am dealing with you. Don't speak to me about lowness… Hideaki…san"

"You think you can solve everything with money and threats! I am not afraid of you Seguchi-san" Asato replied defiantly, but in reality he was starting to feel the weight of Seguchi's words, if the man set to destroy him, he didn't doubt that he very well could. Seguchi Tohma's 'shit list' was not one you wanted to be on.

"I'll let you sleep on it, whether it's worth having me as an enemy over this, will be up to you." The blonde producer stood and left without another glance.

Asato didn't move for a long time, his thoughts raced through every possible solution, he saw none that would be beneficial, were he to release Friday's issue as it was. He knew damn well the mag's white-collar bastards would not stand behind him if anything were to go wrong, so he would be all alone to deal with Seguchi's wrath. The editor slammed his fist on his desk and cursed his bad luck… _That damned Seguchi better keep his word!_

He pressed a button and spoke firmly, "Get Kojima and Fujita here, pronto!"

"Right away Hideaki-san" Came the reply from his secretary.

"Fuck! Planning a brand new issue from scratch in two days… My boss is gonna have my ass."

XXX

Tohma hoped his bluff worked. Of course he meant to do all those things he promised, but if the man turned out to be more ambitious than intelligent, they were going to be in deep water. Even if Ryuichi didn't care, he could seriously wind up in jail. If Mika didn't press charges out of spite, their mother would. Eiri's name would be involved as well, and ultimately his, which he really didn't mind as much. He had other more pressing matters to attend.

Tohma pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked for messages… Hiro hadn't called all day, it pained him… _what is the matter with you?_ Ordinarily he would have never called, his pride would have stopped him from it, but Hiro was reshaping him in ways he didn't thought possible. The mere fact that his lover was being cold and avoiding was driving the producer to a wall, a wall called insecurity. He dialed his lover and waited to hear his soothing, but masculine voice.

XXX

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Shuichi pointed coldly to Hiro's breast pocket.

"I can't talk to him right now," Hiro stated, not looking at his friend's cold gaze.

"So you're taking the cowardly way out?"

"What am I going to say?" Hiro ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly.

"So, you just going to let him think you don't care?" Shuichi accused.

"I'll talk to him when I'm ready,"

"Hiro, take it from me… save yourself the pain. Seguchi Mika is coping, Yuki talked to her and she's doing good considering. Don't let her manipulate you the way she manipulated Seguchi." Shuichi implored.

Hiro looked at his friend for a while. It was incredible that this was the same Shuichi who would tease him, then cry when teased back.

'You love Seguchi right?" Shuichi asked.

"Yeah…" Hiro whispered.

"Then fight for him! Ryuichi told me this; I fought and got Yuki back. Don't let her keep on ruining his life… and yours."

"I don't know if this fight is worth fighting, weather I win or lose, Tohma might wind up unhappy." Hiro let out tonelessly.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from you… I thought you were so mature and cool, but now I'm starting to believe it was all just a front." Shuichi looked out the window wondering just what had happened to make Hiro take this road.

"What would you do if Mikka Costa killed herself because you took Eiri-san from her?" Hiro asked out of the blue, "Would you be able to live with it? Would you be able to be happy with your Yuki, knowing that she died because of you? Would **_he_** be able to live with you?" Shuichi understood everything now. Hiro was not being a selfish coward, his friend was trying to save Seguchi Tohma, the man he had fallen in love with, heartache and guilt.

Shu didn't have to reply, he would probably do the same, "I'll help you," The singer stated, "But this isn't the best way to solve anything, you should talk to him, let him know what's up, let him make the final decision." Shuichi turned back to look at his friend tired eyes.

"I will, just not today."

XXX

Tohma stared at his phone as if it would tell him what was in Hiro's mind. He felt so helpless, so defeated. He knew something was terribly wrong, and he could not do anything about it. He dialed again…

"_Hey…"_ Came a reply a second later

"Can I see you?" Tohma asked softly.

"_Are you alright? Sure, where?"_ The deep voice of the only one the producer could trust replied concerned.

"I'm heading to 'that' place"

"_I'll be there in twenty minutes,"_ and the line went dead

XXX

Yuki left Mikka with mixed feelings, and more confused than ever. On the one hand, he was glad the charade was over and that she didn't seem 'too' hurt. On the other hand, he was angry beyond words… _who the fuck does she think she is threatening?_ He had half the mind to call her bluff, but, and this was a big but… What if she was not bluffing? What if she truly brings down Shuichi and Tohma for something he did?

The mangaka honestly gave two fucks what people thought of him. In fact, the more he thought about it, the better he liked the idea to really end the charade, but his lover and friend wouldn't fare so well. Just the thought of what his pink haired angel would have to go though in the hands of the media, was enough to give the mangaka goose bumps.

"_What the hell am I supposed to do?"_ He asked himself frustratingly. Neither Shuichi nor Tohma were at fault, he himself and no one else should have to pay! Granted he had played with Mikka out of fear and need, and she was entitled to cope however she felt necessary, and god knew he very well deserved everything she had in store for him, but for her to get others involved was so low.

Shuichi had really been heart broken due to his past actions, and right now, they were past the point where he could just pretend he had no feelings for the perky singer and walk away just to protect his career. And even if he could… he didn't want to. Shuichi had not been the only one brokenhearted. Still… the beautiful angel didn't deserve to be 'second choice' Yuki wanted to be with the hyper singer, with the suffocating body, and infectious laughter more than anything… he knew that now.

His phone went off, and for a second he thought not answering for fear it could be Mikka demanding an answer. He looked at the screen and was surprised to see Tohma's number_… you haven't called me in a while. _He thought worriedly

"Hey…" For some reason, he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Whether it was his talk with Mikka that left a bad taste in his mouth, or a presentiment, he didn't know, but Yuki knew that when it rained… it poured.

"_Can I see you?" _Tohma's tone confirmed his fears.

"Are you alright… Sure, where?" He put thoughts of Mikka, and Shuichi aside, and concentrated only on his friend-- who rarely if ever called to ask for help.

"_I'm heading to 'that' place" _Yuki looked at his watch, it would take him about fifteen minutes to get to the bar they frequented when they were lovers.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes" Yuki spoke and hung up.

X

Tohma was already sited at the bar having a drink when Yuki arrived. His face had a shadow to it, which seemed a little more than exhaustion. The mangaka sat next to him and set his keys on the counter, causing a reaction from the blonde, smaller man.

Tohma set his eyes on him and gave him a little smile, "Hey…" he whispered tiredly.

"Is everything alright?" Yuki asked immediately,

Eiri's worried expression made Tohma feel a little better. "Have you ever been weary to the point of not caring what happens anymore?" Tohma went back to stare at the drops sliding down his glass.

"All the time," Yuki replied tonelessly, "This isn't like you Tohma… is everything alright with Hiroshi?" To this Tohma gave a little laugh amused that his ex-lover would worry about his new one.

"I don't know… funny huh? I always know everything about everyone else's lives, but I don't even know what's going on with my own."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"No,"

"Is it work?" Yuki asked, but he knew that Tohma wouldn't get like this over work.

"I thought I could finally settle down and have the one thing I was missing, I thought Hiro would fill the void in my soul, but…" Tohma paused, then turned to Yuki with a smile, "Enough about me, this isn't why I called you here for."

Yuki hardened his expression; it was so like Tohma to suppress his emotions. In a way, there were the same, Tohma and himself. Probably that was the reason they sought each other to begin with, and the reason they still got along despite everything. Now that he no longer had romantic feelings for the older man, he could see it so clearly.

"How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me what's wrong?" The mangaka let out a bit harshly. Tohma lowered his eyes, and said nothing for a few moments, as if debating.

"I don't know what is wrong, I just don't want to think about it right now… I can't" Yuki nodded understanding-- but not agreeing. If there was one person who deserved happiness, it was this man.

"You _will_ tell me if there's anything I can do." The mangaka warned as a father would a child.

Tohma laughed, "I will… tousan. I wanted to show you this," The producer switched gears and slid the manila envelope toward his ex lover. Yuki took it calmly, paged though the magazine he took out of it, and put it back, closing the envelope and setting it down.

"This doesn't have anything to do with me," The mangaka said nonchalantly, trying not to picture his brother with the moron he thought had been with Shuichi… he just hated the guy.

"Doesn't it? This _is_ about your brother. Tatsuha's name is printed in bold letters and so is yours. It's only a matter of time before the media swamps you about it. What's going to happen to the great Yuki Eiri's reputation?" Tohma asked.

Reputation was the last thing on Yuki's mind, he was concerned about Tatsuha's though, but that was something he'd keep to himself, he'd find a way to help him without anyone knowing… then it hit him.

"What about you? You have ties to our family… this," He pointed at the envelope, "the divorce, and the fact that Sakuma is from Nittle Grasper will damage you more than me or anyone in our family, and I am not speaking of reputation alone." Yuki asserted worriedly.

"Ah revenue, yes," Tohma laughed ironically, " Nittle Grasper might lose some of its followers, but that is of very little concern to me. In any event, I put some pressure on the magazine's director, he might call it off, but then again he might not. If he's half the businessman that I am… he will not, so I'd be ready for anything. I just wanted to warn you."

It was Yuki's turn to laugh ironically, " Hmph…Always thinking of others huh? If its my reputation you're worried about, don't, I could care less what people say about me, but… thank you for calling me here, you've helped me make up my mind on something. I know what I have to do now" Tohma's eyes shot open.

"Don't tell me you'll marry Mikka just because of this?!"

"You're a sharp one." Yuki smirked. "Think about it, it will divert the public's attention, hey! I can 'mysteriously' lose a sex tape, and even more mysteriously have it find its way on the net." The mangaka smirked, "That'll make Tats' blunder pale in comparison."

"This isn't a joke Eiri," Tohma rebuked.

"I'm not joking," Yuki got serious.

"Eiri no! I forbid you from it. Just the fact that you came to that conclusion tells me that you had your doubts, why are you worrying about me? … think about Shuichi!"

"I am, and I'm also thinking about you, and Mikka, and everyone I got involved in my selfishness. I'm just as tired as you Tohma, I want to be able to be at peace." Yuki drank from the glass that had been put in front of him, and set his eyes on the tiny droplets sliding down from it.

"And making the same stupid mistake I did will accomplish that?" Tohma put a firm hand on Yuki's shoulder.

"It may not, but at least will put others at peace. I cooked my own meal, and now I have to eat it and like it."

"I don't…" Tohma began, but Yuki cut him mid sentence.

"You don't have to agree, just respect my decision. Enough about this!" The mangaka halted a hand to keep Tohma from saying anymore.

"Eiri…" The producer understood him completely and knew exactly why he was doing it, but it was just too unfair. _Why did it always end up like this!_

"I spoke to Mika, she is doing a lot better, it seems is finally sinking in." Yuki changed the subject refusing to think about it more than he had to, he'd have a lifetime to regret it, and he was in no rush to start.

"I'm glad she is doing well, I can't tell you how awful I feel." Tohma indulged Eiri and dropped the previous subject as well; he knew once he made up his mind, no one could change it. Tohma just hoped his friend could live with his decision. "Even if things don't work out with Hiro… I will not go back to her."

"Now, why would you say that? Hiroshi-kun seems a lot more mature and reliable than Mika and I put together… oh, and throw Tatsuha in mix as well." Yuki smirked, winking at the older man. Tohma smiled hoping he was right.

XXX

After dropping Hiro at his parents', Shuichi drove to Yuki's place; he couldn't wait to try the key Seguchi gave him. He turned on the radio and played it loud, to take his mind off the blonde…at least for the moment. The tent he was sporting was becoming painful and was making it hard to drive.

"Just what I need…" Shuichi mused aloud and rolled his eyes as the latest Mikka Costa tune blared through the speakers. "She's so fucking fake!" The singer let out as her love song soared, "I bet someone wrote it for her and told her how to sing it… che, anybody can do that!" Shuichi drove along, he didn't change the station, he had an incredible urge to do that, but for some reason he didn't.

"At least my boner went away," The perky pink haired smirked.

The song ended, _"Well, there you have it, Costa-san's first single, from her latest album 'Legion'" _The DJ announced, Shuichi turned down the volume and hoped there was a Bad Luck song in store as well.

"For those who just tuned in, Costa-san dropped by the studio for a live interview," The woman announced excitedly. "We are so happy to have you here Costa-san!" she continued, clearly speaking to the devil herself. 

"_Oh, Please, call me Mikka."_ The two women laughed as if someone told a funny joke.

"_I been swamped with letters, emails, calls, and everything you can imagine, asking about my recent wedding announcement. So I thought I'd come on the air and answer a few questions."_ His archrival stated in that fake voice of hers.

"What?!" Shuichi turned up the volume. He'd been so overwhelmed by everything that's been going on in the last few days, that he had completely forgotten about the announcement.

"_Our station is so happy you chose us, but enough with the chit-chat, let's get down to business!"_ The woman DJ yapped eagerly. _"When?"_

"_It will be in November twenty-fist, the location is secret of course, but I will tell you that the invitations have been sent, the honey moon booked, and that I will not be touring this summer like I normally do after releasing an album." _

"_Oh my God Mikka-san, this is huge! You have been engaged to Yuki-sensei for so long and you're finally making it legal."_ The DJ quipped with a hint of jealousy.

"_You're so funny!"_ Mikka laughed,

"_Will you two be starting a family right away?"_ Shuichi turned off the radio; he did not want to hear any more, he felt betrayed. Of course Yuki had never said he would cancel his wedding to Mikka, or that he would be the only one in his life from now on, but Shuichi had hoped for something more substantial.

He got the apartment, bowing to give the blonde grouch a chance to explain, or even to tell him his plans for the future… if there was in fact 'a future' between them. The singer tired his new key, and smiled when it went in smoothly.

"Kyaa it fits!" he quipped forgetting Mikka Costa and her little interview-- che, if that's what people have to do to sell records…then let her. Shuichi let himself in the dark apartment. He had hoped to surprise a certain someone, but at this time of day he was sure his love must be at work "Alright then, I'll make some tasty dinner, I show you I can be a reliable 'wife'" He quipped dancing his way to the windows and opening the blinds, letting the light bring everything to life.

He then went into the messy studio and lost himself into his lover's works, he poured over easels, drawing tables, written story lines. It wasn't everyday you had a chance like this, "I should start cooking," Shuichi told himself as he paged through some Angel Sanctuary material. It was still hard to believe that it was actually based on himself and Yuki; it gave him butterflies in the stomach every time he thought about it. It was not as romantic or as happy as he would have liked, but hell! If anyone would have told him two years ago that he would be the great Yuki Eiri's inspiration for a manga he would have laughed… really hard.

"I'll give you time to sort out your feelings," The singer spoke to the drawing of his love staring right back at him, "Just don't take forever,"

XXX

Yuki drove to his studio after leaving Tohma. Things were getting more and more complicated by the minute. He knew his next inevitable meeting with Mikka would seal his fate, so he could not afford to make the wrong choices. That time was over with, and now he needed to grow up and face the music. He turned on the radio to distract his mind from the overwhelming issues he kept putting his brain through.

Mikka's voice came to life, much to Yuki's surprise. She was talking excitedly about the wedding and how wonderful everything was going to be, "Hmph… you know me well bitch," The mangaka smirked listening to her blabbering.

"_I bet your wedding Kimono is stunning!"_ Some woman DJ beamed, making Yuki laugh aloud.

"_My wedding **dress** is stunning, we'll be having a Catholic ceremony,"_ Mikka beamed back, _"You know my father is Italian, he is 'big' into religion so I'll humor him, but we will have a blessing at Yuki's family temple in Kyoto, his brother will preside it."_ Yuki laughed even louder in spite the humorlessness of the situation, he pulled out his cell and dialed the hardly used number… and a second later came a reply.

"Well, if it isn't the rabbit out of his hole?" Her voice came crisp and sure… _she knows she has me by the balls, _Yuki thought getting irritated.

"I was just listening to 'our' plans" Yuki remarked just as crisp and sure, as if he didn't have anything to fear.

"Oh were you now? I booked that interview this morning, do you think our little friend heard it too?" She emphasized the last part.

"I doubt it, he's not too concern with other's business, and I don't think he likes you very much. Anyhow, I got an answer for you," Yuki let out tonelessly, trying not to think of Shuichi.

"Do you now?" Mikka rebuked sarcastically, Yuki's temple was throbbing from the anger he felt. The fucking bitch was not going to make things at all easy was she? If this is how his life was going to be like, he better drive a knife though his heart and end his misery.

"I'm not doing it because I'm afraid of you, I could care less what little plot you got cooking, I just realized that a relationship with a pink haired rocker is not the best for my image, besides, being the flavor of this month doesn't' guarantee me a prime spot the next, I'm too old for this shit" Yuki played down his actual feelings and put on his tough, aloof and cold as ice front.

"Wise decision, I knew you couldn't be that stupid." Mikka stated nonchalantly,

"Yeah," Yuki laughed, if she only knew how stupid he really was.

"Did you hear the date, or do I have to send you an invitation as well?" She asked sarcastically, but elated, she had been actually afraid that Eiri would simply not care about the consequences and just send her to hell.

"Cut the crap, don't make me change my mind, 'cause I can, really fast." Yuki spat, losing it fast.

"Are you coming home tonight?" She asked sweetly changing the subject, hoping he would. The fact that she had to threaten him to get her way, didn't mean they had to be enemies; she loved him so much, and wanted to have a life with him, why couldn't he understand that?

"No, I have a deadline to meet," Yuki replied curtly.

"We do have to talk, you know that." She reminded him.

"We'll talk when I have the time."

"Are you going to have time for Shindou?" Eiri didn't reply.

The line went dead; Mikka knew very well the answer to that question

XXX

A small grin graced Yuki's lips, upon entering his usually dark studio. Light poured from every window. Loud music could be heard from within, and the fresh smell of coffee and food hit his nostrils remanding him he hadn't eaten yet.

The mangaka closed the door loudly, advising the intruder inside of his arrival…a second later.

"Yuuuuuukiiiii!" A blur of pink hair and fair flesh came out of nowhere and threw himself on him, showering him with kisses all over his face. Yuki smiled in spite of himself, if he had had any doubt before, he no longer did. He had made the right decision, he'd protect Shuichi even if it cost him his own happiness, he could no longer deny he was madly in love with him—not that he'd ever tell Shuichi— and he would do whatever it took to keep that contagious smile on his face.

"Get off me!" Yuki grouched, trying to appear annoyed, "How old are you!?" He admonished, but his contented expression, completely gave him away.

"I missed you so much!! I came straight from the studio to see you! I thought you'd be here… I wanted to surprise you…" Shuichi let out, in a rush of words.

"There's nothing that surprises me little boy." Yuki stated, taking the slender man in his arms and carrying him to the sofa, sitting on it with Shuichi straddling him.

"You were surprised the other night when I came to make you mine." Shu let out snidely. Yuki let out a loud laugh.

"To make _me_ yours?" the mangaka arched his brow, "You were drunk out of your mind, and if I may remind you, _'I'_ made _'you'_ mine."

"All technicalities." Shu stated matter-of-factly.

"Anyhow, how did you get in here, did you add burglar to your resume?" Yuki asked suspiciously, shifting Shuichi's weight on himself.

Shuichi pulled out the key Seguchi gave him, "Ta da!" He smiled broadly.

"I see, so Tohma really did give up on me huh?… I'm devastated." The blonde feigned hurt. Shuichi hit him on the arm, and then began to grind himself against Yuki's waking sex.

"I can leave if you want?" The singer husked, running his tongue over the mangaka's lips, lapping them soft, like a kitten.

Yuki fought the urge to give in to pleasure; he needed to talk to Shuichi about their relationship, but the singer was having none of it. Shuichi began trailing kisses over the mangaka's face, grinding himself on Yuki's fully awake sex harder, then sucking at the blonde's earlobe seductively, driving Yuki crazy with need… his ears truly _were _his weak spot, he'd come to find out in the past few days.

Throwing all thoughts of Mikka and weddings to hell, Yuki grabbed Shuichi's shirt and tore it off with one quick pull. The slight singer threw his head back, and began laughing like a child.

"I hope you got your checkbook handy… Yuki-sensei," The singer laughed, standing up and trying to get away, but was swiftly pulled back to his lover's lap.

"Look at what you've done." Yuki grind himself against Shuichi, making him feel his rock-hard sex, " Tell me Shindou Shuichi, what do you intent to do about it?" The mangaka husked in the younger man's ear.

Shuichi's naked back pressed against Yuki's chest, and his head was thrown back against his broad shoulder. Yuki took this as an invitation and ravaged the young lips savagely, demanding everything Shuichi had to give. With expert hands, the mangaka undid Shu's belt, and—the now too tight—pants, to free the singer's throbbing sex.

Shuichi's mouth open agape in pleasure, as Yuki's feather light fingers ran the length of his upper body. Without lifting his head from Yuki's shoulder nor opening his eyes, Shuichi fumbled to get rid of his pants so that he could feel more, and to expose himself completely to this man who had taken everything from him… body, heart, and soul.

"Eager aren't we?" Yuki whispered in Shu's ear, his voice barely displaying the confidence he always exuded.

Shuichi only grinned in agreement and opened his legs as far wide as they could go, propping his feet on the couch for support.

Yuki moaned into Shuichi's mouth at the sight of his exposed body, he could feel Shuichi's heated skin burning him. The mangaka left the singer's swollen lips and ventured his way down the exposed neck, nipping and licking the length of it, followed by the slight shoulder, and then back up. Shuichi's body writhed in the most sensual, feline manner, seeking more contact, craving Yuki with every fiber of his being. Yuki's hands oblige by running up and down the younger man's torso on their own.

"Yuki…" Shuichi choked, grabbing the back of the mangaka's head, along with a handful of blonde locks, and bringing Yuki's wandering lips back to his own. "Drink me… drink all of me…" Shuichi pleaded.

With a barely controlled grin, Yuki plunged into his lover's waiting mouth once again and did as told.

Shuichi moaned loudly, his body trashed around, guiding Yuki's hands where he wanted them to touch. The singer's other hand rested loosely on the couch, as if he didn't remember it existed, fingers twitching now and then, along with his pulsing cock.

Yuki couldn't take much more of this hell. He wanted to plunge himself into Shuichi's hot and tight paradise, but he knew he would not last. His engorged, ready to burst shaft pressing against Shuichi's back, rubbing with every movement of his thrashing body, were not making matters much easier.

The mangaka's shaky hands stopped their wandering, one settled on a pink, perked nipple, and the other took the lifeless hand, and brought it to Shuichi's twitching core, helping it stroke it slowly.

Shu's mouth left Yuki's and he pressed his head on the mangaka's shoulder harder, arching his back in a silent plea for more contact.

"You're… so cruel…do it already…" Shuichi choked, barely above a whisper.

"Do… what?" Yuki's control was not doing much better; he could climax just by looking at the erotic cat in heat sitting on him.

"Do it!" Shuichi begged, thrusting his hips upwards, thrashing his head from side to side. Yuki's hand held Shuichi's core tighter, and increased the speed of his stokes.

"Cum for me…" The mangaka rasped in Shu's hear, leaving the singer's hand to stroke on its own. With his fingertips, Yuki teased the tip of Shuichi's painfully engorged dick, playing with the pool of pre-cum that had gathered there. Their mouths met once more, leisurely at first, then more and more demanding, wrestling to the finish line desperately.

"God…" Shuichi moaned into Yuki's mouth, his hips danced in sync with his hand, Yuki's hand moved from the tip to the balls, and the other came to tease Shuichi's throbbing entrance.

"I… can't…" Yuki smiled at the all too familiar phrase, knowing full well his angel was at his limit. Without any warning, the young singer's climax claimed him, shooting his essence all over his own stomach, and on their faces, mingling with their flickering tongues.

"I hate you" Shuichi spat satisfied, still riding the waves of pleasure his body craved.

Yuki took him by the hips and threw him to lay on his back on the couch, Shuichi's face was flushed, and his eyes were still dazed, but even so, the love they reflected shot right at Yuki's heart.

"My turn…" The dazed blonde rasped. Shuichi put his legs on either of the mangaka's shoulders and offered himself fully. Yuki ran his hands over Shuichi's stomach, loving the slimy feeling and the pungent smell of the younger man's semen.

"Hurry… I want it so badly, it fucking hurts!" Shuichi snapped getting frustrated, what the fuck was stopping Yuki? He could tell the man wanted him as bad as he, but for some reason he was hesitating… _could it be?_ But his fears were soon put to rest, when he felt Yuki's hard rod rubbing against his entrance. Shuichi pushed, grabbing Yuki's ass to bring him in once and for all, but all he got was a half rasped laughed from his cruel lover.

"Horny bastard," Yuki's mouth descended on his and the sticky kisses began anew. Waking the over stimulated singer's sex once more. The mangaka's hand found its way to it and began playing with it slowly.

"Don't you want it?" Shuichi asked, beginning to feel dizzy all over again.

"Oh, I want it…" Yuki whispered and moved his mouth to Shu's taunt nipple and began sucking it hard. As amazing as he was feeling Shuichi couldn't help to feel a bit frustrated, now that he'd come once, he could think straight… a little.

Shuichi pushed Yuki off, and on the couch, to assume the same vulnerable position as he'd just had. "I want to do some sucking too," The singer rasped and took the whole of Yuki into his mouth…. Fuck, the smell of pre-cum, the hard breathing of his lover, his hard dick that had him enslaved, were driving him insane. Shuichi was almost at the edge again. The pink-head strained to keep his climax at bay, and concentrated on the man below. He sucked slow and sweet, then fast and hard—a little trick he had learned from the 'sensei' himself—Rejoicing at the intensity of Yuki's moans… _that's right, feel dizzy, let your head spin, just like when you do it to me. _

"Sit on me," Yuki commanded between moans, Shuichi smirked and happily complied, not caring about the lack of lubrication.

"Slowly…" The mangaka sighed, grabbing the overexcited singer's hips and keeping him from ramming himself on his dick.

"I can't… I want it so bad!" Shuichi cried, trying to push himself down, the pain he felt actually delicious.

As bad as Yuki wanted it as well, he was lucid enough not to deliberately hurt the smaller man, he held the slight hips firmly and brought them up and down himself, covering a bit more length each time, until he was in to the hilt. He closed his eyes and shook from head to toes, willing his orgasm to wait a bit longer.

The blonde mangaka could not get enough of this, no matter how many times they did it, or what turmoil plagued his mind. Shuichi had the power to obliterate it all and make him feel alive. It never felt like this with Tohma, and Mikka couldn't even compare.

"You're so beautiful…" The singer whispered, rolling his eyes to the back oh his head, savoring the size of the monster that filled every part of him.

"You don't know what beauty is" Yuki grinned as satisfied, urging Shuichi with a little push, to move. The perky singer did so slowly, still getting adjusted to the size. Taking his time to enjoy what he could not the first time around. Yuki moved a hand to stroke Shuichi, while the other one remained on his hip, urging him to move faster.

"Fuck yeah…" Yuki gasped after a few thrusts and his whole body shuddered, his hand left Shuichi's hard sex and held the singer's hips in place, thrusting himself into him hard, Closing his eyes and opening his mouth in one last moan. Yuki emptied everything he had, feeling the hotness of Shuichi's essence on him at the same instant, then the pleasantly heavy weight of his satisfied lover fell on him breathing hard, smiling like an idiot. "…What are you doing to me little boy?" Yuki whispered, kissing the top of the pink head tenderly.

XXX

Tatsuha opened the door after five solid minutes of demanding pounding. The annoyed monk had been trying to get in touch with Ryuichi for the past three hours to no avail. His lover had received a call from Tohma, and judging by the hurried way in which he left, Tatsuha had been left to worry all by himself.

The monk gasped at the sight of Suguru standing at his door for the very first time since they were ten.

"What are you doing here?" Tatsuha snapped worriedly, not remembering to put up his aloof front.

"Can I come in/" Suguru looked around uncomfortably, Tatsuha stepped aside and allowed the shorter teen to come inside.

"Sorry man, I just have a lot in my mind these days," Tatsuha realized his indiscretion and assumed his cool and collected self, the self he didn't like but was as necessary as breathing.

"I'm sorry to come out like this, but I had to tell you," Suguru pulled an envelope from his jacket and handed it to Tatsuha. The monk just now noticed how pallid the usually fair skinned boy looked, "I got it from Tohma's office," Suguru continued scared.

"Why are you giving me this, and why were you in his office snooping around?" The monk sneered suspiciously.

"Forget about that, and just look at it!" Tatsuha did, and dropped the magazine as soon as he saw it's cover. He picked it up quickly and paged through it like a man possessed.

"Holy, fucking shit!" The tall teen exclaimed, and grabbed his head with both hands.

"I'm sorry, I don't know much, I went to talk to Tohma and I saw it on his desk, I grabbed it and came before even thinking about it." Tatsuha looked at the teen and for the very first time was aware of how much Suguru cared. Most likely Tohma will be livid when he finds it gone, and yet Suguru didn't care. "What are you going to do Tatsuha?" Suguru asked scared, "I mean what's going to happen once it gets out?"

"I don't know, and there's nothing I _can_ do. Ryu most likely knows, and he hasn't call me." The monk tried to kid himself, but he knew that this would be devastating for his vivacious lover.

"I saw Sakuma-san leaving Tohma's office earlier, then Tohma went somewhere and came back, that's when I went to see him and … Anyway, I just wanted you to know." Suguru ended.

"I appreciate you putting your neck on the line for me, especially after I've treated you like shit," The monk conceded. Suguru nodded tersely, not caring about that at all right then "Shit, I got to talk to Ryuichi!" Tatsuha exclaimed, switching gears, and pulled his phone and dialed, again getting Ryuichi's voicemail.

"Shit! Where the hell are you babe…?"

XXX

"Ne, Yuki?" Shuichi watched his lover put on his torn jeans. After lovemaking, they took a much-needed bath and were now getting dressed to grab something to eat, since the meal he made got burned. They were acting exactly like a normal couple and this worried Shuichi because they both knew they were anything but.

"Mmm?" Yuki asked as he fixed the sleeves of his black turtleneck.

Shuichi hadn't wanted to bring the interview up, or to ask any useless questions, but it was killing him. Shuichi needed to know. "What am I to you?" Yuki fixed his eyes on him and seemed to be thinking on what his next words.

"You're the one who brought light into my darkness," The mangaka replied softly, Shuichi's chest swelled with love and pride, but that didn't answer his question.

"Does that mean we're steady?" Shu asked shyly, he promised not to get ahead of himself, but he couldn't help it.

Yuki looked at him for a long while, his expression was unreadable. Then, the mangaka took his hand and guided him to sit on the bed.

"I don't know what it is you expect from me, but I'm not a free man. I never promised you anything other than my body, but I feel I should tell you that I am not leaving Mikka. I will marry her in a couple of weeks and more than likely I won't come back to this place for a while.

Shuichi set his eyes on the blond man. Everything came crushing down on him. He'd been played once again.

"You used me…" Shuichi's tone was neither accusing nor angry, just resigned to the reality he somehow knew.

"No I didn't, I do like you… a lot, but she has been there through thick and thin, and a few nights with you won't not change that. If you want to continue this I won't stop it, but I won't feed an illusion or make promises I will not be able to keep. Neither of you deserve it"

"What do I deserve?" Shuichi's eyes filled with tears.

Yuki stood and walked to the window, turning his back on the younger man, so that he could not see his own doubts. "Shuichi… I" The singer halted a hand to Silence him.

"If I want to continue this, you won't stop it? In other words, I can continue getting charity fucks from you whenever the wife is not around? Is that it Yuki?" Shu swallowed hard and fought to keep his tears at bay. Pain and humiliation blended and shaped his anger to heights he couldn't think possible, he was tired of being second choice, tired of being taken for granted and played, not only by this man, but by fate and even gender.

"Is not like that, I didn't mean…"

'It's all right; you don't have to explain anything to me. You said it yourself, you never promised me anything, how dare I thing that maybe we had a chance?" Shu walked away not able to hold his tears any longer.

"Shuichi wait!" Yuki came after him and grabbed him by the arm; he could not let him go angry like that. Shuichi turned sharply and yanked his arm free. His lavender eyes were filled with tears, and something else… bitterness.

"Don't! I beg you, don't hurt me anymore…" Shuichi whispered defeated.

Yuki didn't try to follow it was better this way. Shuichi would resent him now, but in the long run it was for his own good.

It will never be, and as much as he tried to fight it, he knew, he's always known. He and Yuki were too different. They lived in different worlds, where they were like two negative ends of a magnet that could never defy nature and be together. He'd been too late in Yuki's life.

… _it'll hurt now, but I'll survive, I'll break through… I always do. _With one last look at the cruel blonde god, he set the key on the table and walked away, this time… Forever.

XXX

A/N Ohohohohoh! I had to do it! Sorry 'bout the evil cliffhanger, but I cannot post the entire last chapter in one shot as I had originally planned. It's too long, so I did what I always do. I split it. Only this time it's not part I and II, its two different chapters. Sorry. I'm still working on the grand finale (and boy its proving to be a bitch!)

I bet ya'll forgot about those flashes back when Tats and Ryu were kissing at the NG lobby a few chapters back? Go back and remind yourselves. I hate plot holes so I solved it pretty painlessly ne? And I know, I know Yuki is OOC, but give me a break! The man can't be a prick the entire fic!

Next Stop: **_LAST CHAPTER _** **Do you Believe**? and the Epilogue **Angel Dust. **Finally this long and tedious saga is coming to an end. Of course all the remaining issues will be solved. Happily you ask? Who knows?

Will Mikka get her way? Will Hiro and Tohma end? Will Tatsuha and Ryu be separated? Will Suguru find love? THE QUESTIONS!!! Well don't miss it… you've made this far, might as well.


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